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1
00:00:04,454 --> 00:00:06,855
"And so,
for your birthday, Chris,
2
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,957
"I'm giving you
this dollar bill.
3
00:00:09,025 --> 00:00:10,992
"Don't spend it all
in one place.
4
00:00:11,061 --> 00:00:14,028
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha,
5
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,363
"ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
6
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,282
"ha, ha, ha, arrow.
7
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,500
"Ha, ha, ha, ha,
8
00:00:18,569 --> 00:00:20,752
"ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha.
9
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,554
Love, Grandpa."
10
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:27,725
- What a generous gift.
- I know. Isn't money great?
11
00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:28,861
Oh, it's the best.
12
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,213
And now to seal it
with a wet cough.
13
00:00:32,749 --> 00:00:35,383
Well, I better get
this dollar bill on its way.
14
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,248
♪ ♪
15
00:01:16,093 --> 00:01:17,759
Ah. You there, mailman.
16
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,194
Me?
17
00:01:19,263 --> 00:01:21,413
No, the other black guy
in shorts. Yes, you.
18
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,993
- Here.
- Well.
19
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:26,385
You, sir, are a racist
and a rude one at that.
20
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,220
So, you're not a mailman?
21
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,855
Okay, yes, I am a mailman,
22
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:34,259
but these are my 1983
Maurice Cheeks shorts.
23
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,106
So, you're gonna deliver
this card or what?
24
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,130
Mm, fine, I will.
25
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,464
I took an oath.
26
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,383
If mail touches me,
I have to deliver it.
27
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:47,155
Sorry, it's my chimes.
28
00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:55,964
Hey, Cleveland, come on in.
29
00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:59,367
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
30
00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:00,902
What the hell's he doing?!
31
00:02:00,971 --> 00:02:02,916
Sorry, Cleveland,
he wanted a surprise party
32
00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:04,551
and this is how
he thinks it works.
33
00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:07,175
Surprise! Surprise!
34
00:02:07,244 --> 00:02:09,728
Here you go, Chris.
35
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,331
I also have a fat, weird boy.
36
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,998
Would you like a hug?
37
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,234
Yes.
Birthdays are the hardest.
38
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,355
Grandpa only gave me a dollar?
39
00:02:20,424 --> 00:02:22,034
Chris, you write him
a thank-you note.
40
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,625
That will is still wide open.
41
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,679
Wow, a dollar.
42
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:31,216
29 more cents and I can buy
"My Sharona" on iTunes.
43
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:34,669
Boy, that guy did not like
sharing Sharonas.
44
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:38,340
♪ Nobody will know 'cause
it's in a coffee cup. ♪
45
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,052
Wow, getting drunk
in the morning.
46
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:42,377
Who are you, Hoda Kot-ba...
47
00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:45,179
Hoda Ka-Ka-ba...
H-Kot...
48
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:46,448
Kathie Lee Gifford?
49
00:02:46,516 --> 00:02:48,294
Ah, come on,
it's just an eye-opener.
50
00:02:48,318 --> 00:02:50,118
Just a little hair of the me.
51
00:02:50,186 --> 00:02:52,854
Spoken like a truly
unfunny alcoholic.
52
00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:55,390
You know, I bet you couldn't
go a single day without booze.
53
00:02:55,459 --> 00:02:56,691
One day? You're on.
54
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,959
How much you want to bet?
55
00:02:58,028 --> 00:03:00,428
I will bet you one dollar.
56
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:01,797
Thank you, I will take that
57
00:03:01,865 --> 00:03:04,099
and give you a spoon
'cause you're a dumb baby.
58
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:07,118
Hey! What the hell do you
think you're... ooh, a spoon!
59
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,540
Okay, another car ride,
60
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,277
another opportunity
to practice my DJ ramp-ups.
61
00:03:15,345 --> 00:03:16,489
Just got to navigate iTunes
while merging
62
00:03:16,513 --> 00:03:17,912
onto the freeway.
63
00:03:21,518 --> 00:03:23,485
All right, "Two Princes."
Here we go.
64
00:03:23,553 --> 00:03:25,153
♪ ♪
65
00:03:25,221 --> 00:03:29,223
95.5, WPET, you got
Peter "The Riff" Griff,
66
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,525
shockin' ya and rockin' ya
67
00:03:30,594 --> 00:03:31,871
while I'm sittin' here
talkin' to ya.
68
00:03:31,895 --> 00:03:34,429
It's 75 and sunny,
which means our Street Squad's
69
00:03:34,498 --> 00:03:36,142
gonna be out looking
for them Super Stickers.
70
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,733
If you don't got one,
get down to Linoleum Depot
71
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,146
this Saturday
from 9:00 to 2:00.
72
00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:41,370
I'll be there hooking you up.
73
00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,283
Slap one on your car,
win a hundred bucks.
74
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:45,451
Now, I'm looking around and
I'm seeing the Spin Doctors
75
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,575
with not one,
but "Two Princes."
76
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,277
♪ Yeah... ♪
77
00:03:49,346 --> 00:03:50,574
Nailed it.
78
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,198
Okay, time for second breakfast.
79
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,578
Welcome to McBurgertown.
80
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,001
What can I get for you today?
81
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,937
Hmm, what's the easiest
thing to eat in the car?
82
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,886
Um, I'll have
the huevos rancheros
83
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,841
and an orange soda
without a cap.
84
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,342
That'll be $3.74.
85
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,512
Awesome. I can pay in change.
86
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,819
Mmm.
87
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,186
I should visit the Southwest.
88
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,655
I know I'd love it.
89
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,841
Hey, you guys want to play
a drinking game?
90
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,377
- Fleek yeah!
- Not really.
91
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,601
Well, there's this game where
92
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,546
you try to toss a penny
into a shot glass.
93
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:31,915
And if you miss,
you got to drink?
94
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,383
No, you just drink
the whole time.
95
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,084
- Aw, sweet!
- Fleekin' "A"!
96
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,374
No more, Joe!
97
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,842
Yeah, that sounds awesome.
98
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,722
Hey, anybody got a hundred
pennies for a dollar?
99
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,146
I do.
100
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,382
"American Red Cross"?
101
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,262
Yeah. I stole it
from a dry cleaner
102
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,166
who refused
to put my picture up.
103
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,559
What do we have...
104
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,860
Oop, too young.
105
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,312
Too young, Tommy.
106
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,433
Can I get an iced coffee?
107
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,934
Oh, no worries?
108
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,114
All right, now, I see
you've got large breasts.
109
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,404
In recognition of that,
110
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,313
I'd like to tip you one dollar.
111
00:05:10,493 --> 00:05:11,571
You know, even though
112
00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:12,805
you and Peter
have your differences,
113
00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:15,107
I'm glad it hasn't
affected our friendship.
114
00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:17,432
Us redheads have to
stay together, right?
115
00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:21,085
So this is "stuck at work"?
116
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,355
Honey, please.
Lois is a friend.
117
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,774
Really, Nicole,
you got the wrong idea.
118
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,236
How does this bitch
know my name?
119
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,459
Bitch?
120
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,462
Okay, ho.
121
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,763
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this.
122
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,849
Come on, now, ladies.
123
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,060
Awesome.
A chick-chicken chick fight.
124
00:05:45,128 --> 00:05:46,945
Ah, ha, ha.
125
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,903
Since you are my girlfriend
and are hot,
126
00:05:55,973 --> 00:05:58,706
will you marry me
so that I can bone you?
127
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,542
As long as you can always
throw a Nerf football
128
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,979
over my truck
with your strong arm.
129
00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,413
You mean this arm?
130
00:06:05,482 --> 00:06:06,881
Oh!
131
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,482
Ah, cripes.
132
00:06:08,551 --> 00:06:11,485
Yeah, now there is no way.
133
00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:16,390
Hey, a dollar! Neat!
134
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:20,361
Maybe her knowing I have money
will bring the moisture.
135
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,246
Janine, wait!
136
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,648
I have a dollar!
137
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,284
We could split
a Mickey's Big Mouth!
138
00:06:35,846 --> 00:06:37,445
You gon' crash!
139
00:06:39,516 --> 00:06:40,982
Ah, a parchment of value!
140
00:06:41,051 --> 00:06:42,317
What an event!
141
00:06:42,385 --> 00:06:43,651
You said it, friend.
142
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,621
The goddess of money
has fisted our stocking.
143
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:05,039
Ho ho! Is many funny arms!
144
00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:12,239
So, the guy asks,
"What's the name of the act?"
145
00:07:12,281 --> 00:07:14,549
And they say,
"The Aristocrats."
146
00:07:14,618 --> 00:07:16,384
Ah, I didn't tell it right.
147
00:07:17,287 --> 00:07:19,287
Hey, must be my lucky day!
148
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,908
Perhaps I press my luck.
149
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,488
No Whammies,
no Whammies, no Whammies,
150
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,412
Big Bucks, Big Bucks,
and... stop!
151
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,070
Ah, rats.
152
00:07:35,138 --> 00:07:37,722
Well, perhaps I press my luck
with Meg.
153
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,090
Hey there, Meg.
154
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,837
I was wondering
if you'd let me take you out
155
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,928
for a feast of Indian food,
followed by
156
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,446
some blow-off-to-the-side
curry burps?
157
00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:46,781
Oh, I-I can't tonight.
158
00:07:46,849 --> 00:07:49,017
I, um, I have
a date with a Whammy.
159
00:07:50,353 --> 00:07:52,098
All right, well,
if you're ever free,
160
00:07:52,122 --> 00:07:53,354
here's me number.
161
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,481
Oh, hi, Chris.
162
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:06,083
But... well, that's...
that's my line.
163
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,997
Hey, I came by
to bring you a frame
164
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,021
for that birthday dollar
I gave you.
165
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:11,656
Hi, Meg.
166
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,774
What a disrespectful turd.
167
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,160
You brought a frame?
168
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:16,862
Why would I frame a dollar?
169
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,142
Chris, didn't you
take a look at that dollar?
170
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,166
It's an extremely rare misprint.
171
00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:22,300
Benjamin Franklin
172
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,013
and Washington
are both on the front,
173
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,604
posing back-to-back
like an '80s sitcom.
174
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,777
Sorry, Grandpa,
I lost that dollar.
175
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,278
You what?!
176
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,914
We got to find that thing!
177
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,976
I get the last joke
before the commercial?
178
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:43,104
Wow, this is a first.
179
00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:45,206
Okay, okay...
a priest, a rabbi
180
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,086
and a Frenchman
walk into a bar...
181
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,088
Family Guy willreturn after these messages.
182
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,112
- Last line!
- No, it isn't.
183
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,250
All right, Chris, if we're going
184
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,451
to find that misprint dollar,
185
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,175
we have to retrace your steps.
186
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,222
Now, where'd you go
after your birthday party?
187
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,046
Well, first I drank a Four Loko,
188
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,348
and then I rode my bike
down to the hair salon
189
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,218
and shouted "Nope!" at all
the women who came out.
190
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,553
Huh. Call me
next time you do that.
191
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,455
Hi, Meg.
192
00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:20,058
Unbelievable.
193
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,018
Can I have a can of chaw
and a fork?
194
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,913
Do you need this phone number
on here?
195
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,019
Nah.
196
00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:34,200
How long has that bike
been out front?
197
00:09:34,224 --> 00:09:36,090
I don't know, a couple hours.
198
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,758
I'm gonna swipe that puppy.
199
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,948
All right,
got some vodka and tampons.
200
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,149
Now to go ask Chris
201
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,661
how they're doing this
at the high school.
202
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,063
- Aha!
- Stewie?
203
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,787
Wh-What are you doing here?
204
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,883
Busting you.
You were gonna drink that.
205
00:09:50,907 --> 00:09:52,573
Technically, no.
206
00:09:52,642 --> 00:09:53,908
Do you even hear yourself?
207
00:09:53,976 --> 00:09:55,576
Look, I'm gonna fix this.
208
00:09:55,645 --> 00:09:58,746
I know a guy who's got pills
that help stop addictions.
209
00:09:58,814 --> 00:10:00,548
Ugh, fine.
210
00:10:00,617 --> 00:10:02,561
All right,
we are buying none of these.
211
00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:04,663
Please put them back.
But we'll take one of these.
212
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,088
Ooh, Charleston Chew.
Good choice.
213
00:10:07,157 --> 00:10:08,801
You know about putting them
in the freezer?
214
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,503
Yeah.
I know about the freezer.
215
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,687
There's nothing
you can teach me, thank you.
216
00:10:18,335 --> 00:10:20,346
All right, this is where
we can buy those pills
217
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,869
to get you off the sauce.
218
00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:23,365
You guys ready for this?
219
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:24,823
Stewie, who is this guy?
220
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,836
My friend, Todd.
He's gonna help us out.
221
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,304
But this looks like a drug den.
222
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,760
What are you talking about?
223
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,830
♪ Drug den, drug den ♪
224
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,664
♪ Drug den, drug den. ♪
225
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,783
I told you it was a drug den.
226
00:10:35,851 --> 00:10:38,453
How you doing? Come on in.
227
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:43,008
♪ Where you goin'? ♪
228
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,176
♪ What you lookin' for? ♪
229
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,827
Hello, new friends.
230
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,096
Welcome to my
"prescription pad."
231
00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,364
Get it?
232
00:10:50,434 --> 00:10:51,977
W-We're dead.
We're getting shot.
233
00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:53,167
Oh, calm down.
234
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,281
Heads up. Sometimes
my knob plays peek-a-boo
235
00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:56,949
through my pee hatch.
236
00:10:56,973 --> 00:10:58,651
So, I hear you guys need
some benzos.
237
00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:00,185
Yeah, we got to dry this dog up.
238
00:11:01,645 --> 00:11:02,855
W-Wait, hang on,
hang on, hang on.
239
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,913
This is my favorite part
of the song.
240
00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:10,117
- Tequila!
- ♪ Motoring. ♪
241
00:11:10,186 --> 00:11:11,697
Ah, I'm thinking
of a different song.
242
00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:13,455
So, uh, you guys got the $500?
243
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:14,989
Here's a little taste.
244
00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:16,669
And there's more
where that came from.
245
00:11:16,693 --> 00:11:18,287
But I got to see
the merchandise first.
246
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,777
Good, good, I need singles.
247
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,824
I got to do laundry
so I can stop hanging out
248
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,659
in my underwear
with a bunch of guys.
249
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,060
All right,
give me all your money!
250
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,617
Stewie, what's this guy doing?
251
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,263
No idea.
I don't know him that well.
252
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:31,155
He was kicking a Redbox
machine outside of CVS.
253
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,184
Seemed like the kind of guy
who could help us out.
254
00:11:58,401 --> 00:11:59,467
Damn it.
255
00:11:59,536 --> 00:12:00,868
Pistorius!
256
00:12:02,038 --> 00:12:04,205
Boom!
Through the bathroom door.
257
00:12:04,274 --> 00:12:06,307
Did you just name-drop
"Pistorius"?
258
00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:07,875
He's still a hero to us.
259
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,588
So I made it, Cleveland made it,
260
00:12:09,612 --> 00:12:10,878
and now you made it, Joe.
261
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,146
Yeah. Thanks for the recap.
262
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:14,816
Yeah. Everybody's made it
but this guy.
263
00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:16,183
Quit it! Get off of me.
264
00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:17,518
Ah, what's wrong, Pete?
265
00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:18,820
Boop. Boop. Boop-boop-boop.
266
00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:20,048
Stop it! Stop touching me.
267
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,817
Hey, guys,
I did it three more times
268
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,891
while you were grab-assing.
269
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,198
Need a lift?
270
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:32,616
♪ ♪
271
00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,924
We could be a Geico commercial.
272
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,926
You're absolutely right.
273
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,229
You don't have ass or grass,
so I'll be taking this dollar.
274
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,965
No, no, no. I don't want ass.
275
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,466
Just give me the dollar.
276
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,870
And now to turn slightly.
277
00:12:55,458 --> 00:12:56,591
Ah, heck!
278
00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:58,393
I did a fail.
279
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,135
Ah, a dollar.
280
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:11,539
Oh, my dollar.
281
00:13:11,608 --> 00:13:13,508
I guess Meg didn't care.
282
00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:15,510
My heart broken,
283
00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:18,646
and nothing to console me but
the screaming black dolphins.
284
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:21,166
Man, that dollar's
getting all over town.
285
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,767
Yeah, like your mama.
286
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,036
Ah, dag!
287
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,883
Aw, man,
you know I'm just playin'.
288
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,818
Hey, man, you seen
that movie The Cove?
289
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:29,974
The Cove?
290
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,553
How yous gonna be
talkin' about The Cove?
291
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:35,280
I mean, I saw the movie,
but I was like, "Oh, shit!"
292
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,515
Ah, man, you know,
what even is a cove?
293
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:40,285
I think it's like what
a white dolphin calls a bay.
294
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,920
They be all like, "Honey,
295
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,689
I'm taking Cooper and Tucker
down to the cove."
296
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,435
- Right, right.
- Rest of us be like,
297
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,693
♪ Sittin' inthe mornin' sun. ♪
298
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:49,839
Don't do it, then, don't do it!
299
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,129
Oh, I'm-a do it!
300
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,198
All right, t-then just
squeak out the whistle part.
301
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:19,390
You ever had your
heart broken, Jerome?
302
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,775
Hell yeah, man.
303
00:14:20,844 --> 00:14:22,588
Married my
high school sweetheart.
304
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:25,880
Week after our wedding,
she was diagnosed with cancer.
305
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,415
At her funeral, our little
girl caught pneumonia.
306
00:14:28,485 --> 00:14:31,385
We buried her next to her mom
six weeks later.
307
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:34,455
You never seen
a casket so small.
308
00:14:34,524 --> 00:14:35,957
I hear you.
309
00:14:36,025 --> 00:14:38,559
I gave me number to a girl
and she threw it away.
310
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,261
You and me,
fraternity of pain, eh?
311
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,966
Okay, this is the one.
312
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,970
Son of a...
313
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,375
Come on, Peter.
Let's call it.
314
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,697
No, Joe!
315
00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,978
Nobody's leaving until
I sink a penny in that glass!
316
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:05,202
- Oh, for God's sakes.
- No...
317
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,049
Say, Peter, you know,
maybe you should
318
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,384
try this one
with your eyes closed.
319
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,473
Just feel it.
320
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,975
But if I close my eyes,
321
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,710
you'll all disappear and I'm
a-scared of being alone.
322
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:14,996
Don't worry, Peter.
323
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,982
Guys?
324
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,931
We're right here, Peter.
Throw it.
325
00:15:23,373 --> 00:15:25,907
Oh, my God, I made it?
326
00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:27,286
- Sure.
- Right in.
327
00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:28,475
Amazing.
328
00:15:28,544 --> 00:15:31,062
Yes! I've never felt
so much power.
329
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,764
I'm gonna go have
sweaty day-sex with my wife.
330
00:15:35,285 --> 00:15:36,584
Excuse me, sir,
331
00:15:36,653 --> 00:15:38,930
would you like to buy
some candy to send Jewish kids
332
00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:41,822
to a Jewish place
to do Jewish things?
333
00:15:41,891 --> 00:15:43,691
Will it get you out of my bar?
334
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:45,293
It sure will.
335
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,223
Look who's
still standing, bitch.
336
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,959
Go buy yourself
something nice in hell.
337
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:07,932
Hey there, sailor.
338
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,434
What are you doing here?
339
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,220
Oh, sometimes I come here
to think and fart.
340
00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:14,104
So, you still up for our date?
341
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,085
Our date?
But I thought you got rid
342
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,653
of the dollar
with my number on it.
343
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,077
No, I put your number
in my phone, silly.
344
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,280
So, what do you say?
Are you free tonight?
345
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,682
Let me consult
me charts and maps.
346
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:28,619
Low tide... 5:23.
347
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,355
Oh, yeah. Moonrise, 7:48.
348
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,892
Aye, looks like I am.
349
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,073
Lois, I tossed a penny
in a shot glass,
350
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:51,542
so get your pants off and put
a towel on the kitchen table!
351
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,589
Peter, I'm in
the middle of book club.
352
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:54,757
Forget book club,
353
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,258
we're doin' it.
354
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,093
Anyone who doesn't want to see
my big, white, flailing butt,
355
00:16:58,117 --> 00:16:59,350
get the hell out.
356
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,889
Joe, I found a dollar!
357
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,435
That's great, Bonnie!
358
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,604
Let's go to dinner.
We can talk all about it.
359
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,960
What's there to talk about?
360
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,597
I looked down on the ground
and there was a dollar.
361
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,032
Bonnie, save it
for the dinner table!
362
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:20,121
Crap, I don't have any change.
363
00:17:20,189 --> 00:17:22,490
Hey, Seamus,
you got change for a dollar?
364
00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:23,858
I don't know. Is my boat
365
00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:25,504
parked illegally in the harbor?
366
00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:26,761
I don't know.
367
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,474
Are you gonna make
a contribution
368
00:17:28,498 --> 00:17:29,931
to the Policeman's Ball?
369
00:17:29,999 --> 00:17:32,333
I don't know. Are you gonna
help me move next week?
370
00:17:32,401 --> 00:17:35,436
Geez, what are you two,
dating or something?
371
00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:37,354
SEAMUS and JOE:
I don't know.
372
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,932
Good evening, everyone.
Welcome to Whispers.
373
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,367
I'm your hostess, Ida,
and as always,
374
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:53,137
I am joined by my trusty
psychic, Ryan Reynolds.
375
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,471
I knew you'd say that.
376
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,709
Piano? Comedy?
What don't you do?
377
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,344
Windows.
378
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,847
Trust me, folks, he doesn't;
I've tried.
379
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,481
God, this is going well.
380
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,084
Well, Stewie, you were right.
381
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,198
I couldn't make it
a day without drinking.
382
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,588
Well, the important thing is
383
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,723
you barely tried
and then got shot.
384
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:15,559
So I read a fun
compatibility quiz in Cosmo.
385
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:16,905
I don't know if you want
to take it.
386
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,363
- I don't.
- I didn't either! Compatible!
387
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,076
If you'll excuse me,
I have to urinate
388
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,644
every time
something good happens.
389
00:18:24,787 --> 00:18:26,565
I thought the show was
really great.
390
00:18:26,589 --> 00:18:27,966
Thank you.
I couldn't help but notice
391
00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:29,289
you talked throughout it.
392
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,511
Take it off! I want to see
if mine look right.
393
00:18:36,298 --> 00:18:38,110
Well, Chris,
we've looked all over town.
394
00:18:38,134 --> 00:18:39,566
Might as well check here.
395
00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:42,369
This is where dollar bills
come to die.
396
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:44,104
Wait, Grandpa, look!
397
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:47,908
I don't believe it!
398
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,932
Oh, no.
Now we'll never find it.
399
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,118
Hold on. I got an idea.
400
00:18:58,187 --> 00:19:00,498
Hey, can I turn off everything
but the black lights?
401
00:19:00,522 --> 00:19:01,867
Sure, I don't care
about anything.
402
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:02,891
Cool.
403
00:19:04,093 --> 00:19:06,427
Wow, this place is gross!
404
00:19:06,495 --> 00:19:09,463
Yeah, the NBA All-Star Game
was in town last week.
405
00:19:09,532 --> 00:19:11,632
There it is!
406
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,352
I got it, Grandpa!
407
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,405
Attaboy!
Happy Birthday, Grandson.
408
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:18,772
Thanks.
409
00:19:18,841 --> 00:19:21,742
Hey, so, how much is this
rare dollar worth, anyway?
410
00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:24,545
Ah, well, some dildo
wrote his phone number on it,
411
00:19:24,613 --> 00:19:26,080
so now it's worth jack!
412
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,483
♪ ♪
413
00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:33,521
♪ The best thingsin life are free ♪
414
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,189
♪ But you can give themto the birds and bees ♪
415
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,558
♪ I want money ♪
416
00:19:37,627 --> 00:19:39,727
♪ Yes, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
417
00:19:39,796 --> 00:19:41,361
♪ That's what I want ♪
418
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,497
♪ Yes, ooh-ooh-ooh. ♪
419
00:19:43,566 --> 00:19:44,566
Ho ho!
420
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:46,934
Is everyone who was in the show!
421
00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,702
H-Hold on, everyone. Everyone?
422
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,505
Ellen DeGeneres wants a selfie
of all of us.
423
00:19:51,574 --> 00:19:53,123
Come on, squeeze in, now.
424
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,570
We're gonna blow up
the Internet.
425
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,338
Let's take all that we did today
426
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,928
and make it all about Ellen.
427
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,013
Hey, I'm right here!
428
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,837
That caption's a phony!
429
00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,467
I don't want you
talking to him anymore.
30470
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