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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:05,937 ♪ It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:09,274 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,878 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,947 ♪ On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:19,251 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,570 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:22,639 --> 00:00:24,155 ♪ All the things that make us 8 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,924 ♪ Laugh and cry 9 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:31,146 ♪ He's a Family Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,214 We now return to The Last Man on Earth 11 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,771 Plus These Other 16 People 12 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:41,468 with More Showing Up Every Day. 13 00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:43,257 No way they'll pull this off. 14 00:00:43,326 --> 00:00:44,926 A show with just one character 15 00:00:44,995 --> 00:00:47,039 and an unlimited number of other characters? 16 00:00:47,063 --> 00:00:49,631 Peter, you can't just sit there and watch TV all day. 17 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,933 - You have to mow the lawn. - Aw, this sucks. 18 00:00:52,002 --> 00:00:53,613 I was gonna go down to the Guitar Center 19 00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:54,652 and annoy people. 20 00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:04,430 FYI, my mom's not picking me up 21 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,532 for a long time, because... 22 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,436 she's dead! 23 00:01:14,258 --> 00:01:15,590 Hey, Brian, you want a beer? 24 00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,103 Peter, Lois is gonna be home soon. 25 00:01:17,127 --> 00:01:18,471 Shouldn't you be mowing the lawn? 26 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:19,995 I am mowing the lawn. 27 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,983 - Where'd you get these? - Craigslist. 28 00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:27,169 Boy, that's got to be some long list. 29 00:01:27,237 --> 00:01:30,205 And pool tables and jukeboxes. 30 00:01:30,274 --> 00:01:32,185 Craig, are you getting all this down? 31 00:01:32,209 --> 00:01:33,475 Yes. Is that it? 32 00:01:33,544 --> 00:01:37,546 No! Futons, everyone's grandfather's golf clubs... 33 00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:40,448 - Is that it? - No! Gay sex... 34 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,277 - What kind? - All of it! 35 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,723 I have milked all the goats. 36 00:01:48,792 --> 00:01:51,293 Peter, all those goats are males. 37 00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,473 Well, the buckets are full and the goats are happy. 38 00:01:53,497 --> 00:01:55,497 I just hope word doesn't get around. 39 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,450 I like good times. 40 00:02:02,606 --> 00:02:04,351 We now return to Top Gun 41 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,641 with only public domain music. 42 00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:12,547 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes 43 00:02:12,616 --> 00:02:15,984 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain ♪ 44 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,554 Oh, my God, what the hell did the goats do in here? 45 00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:20,288 This place is disgusting! 46 00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,573 Where's your father? Peter! 47 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,278 Lois is mad. 48 00:02:32,302 --> 00:02:34,603 Go to the Clam. 49 00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:38,006 Peter, I both saw you and recognized my husband's voice. 50 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,273 Go back. 51 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,578 Lois! I didn't know you were home. 52 00:02:43,647 --> 00:02:44,887 Well, I guess we can all agree 53 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,981 this was a great idea. The end. 54 00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:49,217 ♪ Ba-na-na-na Family Guy ♪ 55 00:02:49,286 --> 00:02:51,586 Enough! My parents will be here any minute. 56 00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:53,232 You better get this house cleaned up. 57 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,216 Don't worry, Lois. I have a Roomba. 58 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:00,907 Okay, wait, wait, wait a minute. 59 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,997 It'll... it'll figure it out. 60 00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:05,834 It's learning. That's part of what it does. 61 00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:07,536 I think it's getting it. 62 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,337 Now she's cookin'. 63 00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:10,472 Hang on to your hat. 64 00:03:11,374 --> 00:03:12,908 Clean floor dead ahead. 65 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,877 Good purchase. 66 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,145 Behold the future. 67 00:03:18,081 --> 00:03:19,548 All right, here it goes. 68 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,728 And the battery's dead. 69 00:03:24,555 --> 00:03:26,988 Darling, so wonderful to be here. 70 00:03:27,057 --> 00:03:29,235 Yeah, right. The drive here is like 71 00:03:29,259 --> 00:03:31,827 a counterclockwise trip around the Monopoly board. 72 00:03:31,895 --> 00:03:34,429 He has no pants. 73 00:03:34,498 --> 00:03:35,630 Peter, get out of there. 74 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,862 - Lois, what's going on here? - ♪ Oh my darling, Clementine ♪ 75 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,797 Well, I asked Peter to mow the lawn. 76 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:44,156 Will somebody turn off Top Gun? 77 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,003 So obviously he bought a herd of goats, 78 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,704 and now they've taken over the house. 79 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,963 Lois, I worry this is not a healthy environment 80 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,809 - for the children. - Mom, please. 81 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,217 You know I would never put my children in harm's way. 82 00:03:56,286 --> 00:03:57,719 Oh, boy. AMBER Alert. 83 00:03:57,788 --> 00:04:00,722 Stewie was last seen with a goat in a '98 Toyota Tercel 84 00:04:00,791 --> 00:04:02,290 heading north on I-95. 85 00:04:02,358 --> 00:04:03,970 How do you turn those off, by the way? 86 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,393 Lois, I've seen enough. 87 00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:08,863 You're completely overwhelmed, and you have four children. 88 00:04:08,932 --> 00:04:10,983 Four children. 89 00:04:11,035 --> 00:04:13,251 Four children. 90 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,537 Four children. 91 00:04:15,606 --> 00:04:17,789 Four children. 92 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:21,076 Four children. Hey! 93 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,527 You need help, Lois. 94 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,930 And since I don't believe in psychiatry, 95 00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:26,665 I'm getting you a nanny. 96 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,411 Well, I guess it would be good to have some help 97 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,501 with Meg and Chris. 98 00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:31,489 And Stewie, if he's ever found. 99 00:04:34,725 --> 00:04:36,536 Honey, do you think that's the goat and baby 100 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,994 - from the AMBER alert? - Uh, it's a Tercel, 101 00:04:39,063 --> 00:04:41,103 but I don't think it's the right year. 102 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:50,555 That must be the new nanny. 103 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,690 Is this the Griffin house? 104 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,026 Welcome to this work environment. 105 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,496 Oh. I'm not the nanny. I'm her Uber driver. 106 00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:58,997 Your nanny's still in the car. 107 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,632 She dozed off on the way here. 108 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,767 I not doze off, Yoober. 109 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,921 Was looking at crinkled photos of dead relatives. 110 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,572 Hello. I am Natalia. 111 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,908 What is favorite breakfast fish? 112 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,210 Well, if you must know... 113 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,946 Welcome to this work environment. 114 00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:24,822 Okay, Natalia, level with me. 115 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,191 Why are you really here? 116 00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:29,594 I have been sent to neutralize liberal Jewish dissident, 117 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,878 Fievel Mousekewitz. 118 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,390 Oh. Well, the only mouse in this neighborhood is 119 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,419 our innocent neighbor, Frank Maxwell. 120 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,472 Comrade Mousekewitz! 121 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,641 Did you think you could run forever? 122 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:45,610 I, uh, I think you've got the wrong mouse. 123 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,313 I'm just regular old Frank Maxwell, 124 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,248 and I'm very late for work. 125 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,483 Good day, ma'am. 126 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,054 Whoa! You killed him? 127 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,255 That was not me. 128 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,807 Someone else got to him first. 129 00:06:00,177 --> 00:06:02,110 Tough break, Jew mouse. Ha-ha! 130 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,396 Hi. I'm Peter Griffin. 131 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,098 Under parody law, in order to use someone else's character 132 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,568 in an unlicensed fashion, we have to provide 133 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,369 something called "commentary." 134 00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:14,606 The commentary here is that Mickey Mouse hates Jews. 135 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,409 Now, let's see what else this new nanny has up her sleeve. 136 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,483 Okay, Stewie, this is favorite Belarusian children book 137 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,919 called Good night Moon of Chernobyl. 138 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,006 "Good night, Chernobyl moon. 139 00:06:31,074 --> 00:06:33,407 "Good night, radiation house. 140 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,677 "Good night, melted phone. 141 00:06:35,746 --> 00:06:38,046 "Good night, glowing milk. 142 00:06:38,115 --> 00:06:41,116 "Good night, bleeding grandpa's eyes. 143 00:06:41,184 --> 00:06:43,518 "Good night, two-headed cat. 144 00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:45,453 "Good night, nobody. 145 00:06:45,522 --> 00:06:49,691 "Good night blocks and blocks and blocks of nobody. 146 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,592 "The end." 147 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:52,894 Next book. 148 00:06:52,963 --> 00:06:54,763 Everybody Poops... 149 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:55,914 Blood. 150 00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:01,819 I'll get started on dinner. 151 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,057 No need to start dinner. 152 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,292 Homework is done. Kids are fed. 153 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,995 You two should go out and have lovely evening. 154 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:14,231 -Together? -Yes. Everything taken care of. 155 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,468 Go out. Enjoy American freedom. 156 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,936 What do you say, Peter? 157 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,149 Eh, it could be fun. And we haven't been on a date 158 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:21,417 since I broke the Guinness record 159 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,325 for longest nasal exhale at that Tina Fey movie. 160 00:07:24,394 --> 00:07:27,028 You're the baby mama? Well, that's no bueno. 161 00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,707 Hello. I'm Steve. I'll be your server this evening. 162 00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,771 May I start you off with a cocktail? 163 00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:51,180 You don't work here, do you? 164 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,204 I do not. 165 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,106 Oh, this is nice. 166 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,608 So, how's work? 167 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,677 Good. 168 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,379 How, uh... 169 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,615 How's the stuff you do during your day? 170 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,204 - Good. - Good. 171 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,353 So... is that it? 172 00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,721 Did we do a date? Phones back on? 173 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,191 Peter, we finally have a chance to reconnect. 174 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,903 We've been given this opportunity. 175 00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,394 It's like before we had kids. 176 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:17,946 We got to make the most of it. 177 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,075 H-Hang on, hang on, Lois. 178 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,343 Give me two of those round balls 179 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,700 of butter and a breadstick. 180 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,145 You'll see where I'm heading with this. 181 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,369 Okay, look, look, look. Here's what you want. 182 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,551 Here's what you got. 183 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,876 I'm very happy with what I got. 184 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:34,345 Hmm. Well, maybe I can give you half a breadstick later. 185 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,616 As long as you don't mind a little marinara dipping sauce. 186 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,051 That's absolutely disgusting. 187 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,319 And I love it. 188 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,755 You know what? I like date night. 189 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,957 To Natalia, for making it possible. 190 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,238 Pretty sure that's Steve's pee. 191 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,428 Enjoying your wine? 192 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,402 Oh, what an amazing night. 193 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,606 I told you we could have a fun time, just the two of us. 194 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,241 Fun's not over yet. 195 00:09:05,428 --> 00:09:07,039 Come on, let's get in the trunk. 196 00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:09,897 I filled it with water so we can do it hippo-style. 197 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,298 Weightlessly, 198 00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:13,727 with my feet lightly scraping the bottom as we do it. 199 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,638 Okay. It's kind of sexy, I guess. 200 00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:18,050 And in the hippo tradition, 201 00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:20,207 first we must eat a whole head of lettuce. 202 00:09:20,276 --> 00:09:23,476 - Now, do you have the lettuce? - I didn't know we were doing this. 203 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,697 Did you bring the lettuce? 204 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,131 Oh, no, I forgot. 205 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,366 Ronald, I asked you to do one thing. 206 00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,603 Honey, honey... I brought the lettuce. 207 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,609 So thanks to Natalia, 208 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,590 we've been spending so much more time together. 209 00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:43,147 Let me tell you, Joe, it's really been a rediscovery. 210 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,050 - Hmm. - Joe, "we time" 211 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:48,002 - is just as important as "me time." - Okay. 212 00:09:48,071 --> 00:09:50,471 We've actually been watching The Middle together. 213 00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:53,341 It's so funny! Isn't it funny, Peter? 214 00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:55,843 It is actually funny. At least three times an episode 215 00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:57,456 we turn to each other and we say, 216 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,130 "That's just like us!" 217 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,166 Why are you laughing? 218 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,636 - It sounded funny. - But you had to be there. 219 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,871 Well, I was able to imagine myself there, 220 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,423 which is why I chuckled. 221 00:10:08,491 --> 00:10:10,925 Oh, and, Donna, have you seen this Black-ish? 222 00:10:10,994 --> 00:10:13,114 - Why are you asking me that? - I don't know. 223 00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:15,296 It seems like you might like it. 224 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:18,299 Oh, and, waiter, have you seen this Fresh Off the Boat? 225 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,480 - Why are you asking me that? - I don't know. 226 00:10:20,504 --> 00:10:22,081 It seems like you might like it. 227 00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:23,738 Oh, there's Mort. Mort! 228 00:10:23,806 --> 00:10:25,766 Have you seen this The Goldbergs? 229 00:10:25,808 --> 00:10:27,848 Yes! I like it 'cause I'm Jewish. 230 00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,898 Boy, our friends all seem to be happily married. 231 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,002 Yeah, right. 232 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,815 You know, Donna told me in the bathroom 233 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:41,539 she and Cleveland haven't had sex in over three months. 234 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,185 I love that you share things that were 235 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,553 told to you in confidence. 236 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,145 - Oh, and the poor Swansons. - I know. 237 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,557 Joe's dead from the waist down, 238 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,093 and Bonnie's dead from the waist up. 239 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,527 They're perfect for each other. 240 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,019 I know, I know. 241 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,099 I got to say, Peter, I really feel like 242 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,900 Natalia has helped put the spark back 243 00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,257 in our relationship. 244 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,627 Yeah, we even had independent movie sex. 245 00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,930 I want to lean over this half-eaten blueberry pie 246 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,943 and kiss you with black coffee breath. 247 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,647 - Is that okay? - Yes. 248 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,440 Now, can I do you to a song you know, 249 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,908 but sung in German? 250 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,674 ♪ Icht valking un sonshine 251 00:11:21,698 --> 00:11:23,231 ♪ Haaa-aah 252 00:11:23,299 --> 00:11:26,033 ♪ Icht valking un sonshine 253 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,568 ♪ Haaa-aah ♪ 254 00:11:27,637 --> 00:11:29,470 ♪ Unt it feelin das good ♪ 255 00:11:31,308 --> 00:11:32,308 Hello? 256 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,809 I see. 257 00:11:34,877 --> 00:11:36,144 What is it? 258 00:11:36,212 --> 00:11:37,678 I've been assassinated. 259 00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:49,324 Wow, what a night. 260 00:11:49,392 --> 00:11:52,794 I guess someone's sleep number is 69. 261 00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:56,130 Uh, yes. It was, apparently, also number two. 262 00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:57,443 Would you maybe make some coffee 263 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,547 and give me a moment? 264 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,519 Car is packed for weekend. 265 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,031 - Weekend? - Yes. 266 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,734 You come in late last night drunk 267 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,124 and tell me to pack car for weekend getaway 268 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:08,559 you book online. 269 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,295 Then you make me watch Diff'rent Strokes episode 270 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,899 with substitute teacher played by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. 271 00:12:16,019 --> 00:12:17,797 You know, I forgot about this weekend trip. 272 00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:19,731 Is that something we still want to do? 273 00:12:19,755 --> 00:12:21,322 Well, I do if you do. 274 00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:23,550 Absolutely I do. I was just seeing if you do. 275 00:12:23,592 --> 00:12:25,092 Of course I do. 276 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,628 I mean, we've already had six nights out together. 277 00:12:27,697 --> 00:12:29,663 It'd be great to have three more. 278 00:12:29,732 --> 00:12:32,266 That's what I'm saying. That's what any guy wants, 279 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,069 the same gal again and again and again 280 00:12:35,138 --> 00:12:37,538 and again and again and again and again 281 00:12:37,606 --> 00:12:40,074 and again and again and again and again 282 00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:41,887 and again and again, and again. 283 00:12:41,911 --> 00:12:44,078 And every gal wants the same guy who keeps 284 00:12:44,147 --> 00:12:46,513 getting fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter... 285 00:12:46,582 --> 00:12:48,694 Stop it right there, Lois. This is Family Guy. 286 00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:50,718 We only do the male side of the joke. 287 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,739 You know what? I think this weekend will be fun. 288 00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,219 Yeah. I mean, it's not like we're gonna 289 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,403 miss anything around here. 290 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,325 Hey, Joe, what the hell's going on here? 291 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,549 Oh, you didn't hear? Today is the opening 292 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,836 of the first-ever Spooner Street Farmers Market. 293 00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:11,506 Farmers... 294 00:13:11,575 --> 00:13:13,991 market? 295 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:15,727 Yeah, it's really exciting. 296 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,807 For 50 cents, you can get your picture taken 297 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,981 wearing a farmer's hat. 298 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,750 Farmer's... 299 00:13:22,819 --> 00:13:24,935 hat? 300 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,971 Hey, have a great weekend, you two. 301 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,008 So glad you're finding time for each other. 302 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,380 Goat meat. 303 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,981 Get your goat meat here. 304 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,427 - Cleveland, are those... - Yep. 305 00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,363 I have dibs on whatever silliness 306 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,086 Peter loses interest in. 307 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,855 Remember this? To the Cleveland copter! 308 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,494 The moustache obscures my view! 309 00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,249 Oh, another hawk. 310 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:02,640 Or maybe it's the same one. 311 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,219 You think it could be the same one? 312 00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:05,243 Doubt it. 313 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,352 Hey, do you have the address? 314 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,125 I think it's in my pocketbook somewhere. 315 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,783 'Cause I got to know if we should take 24 or 495. 316 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:12,984 Hang on. 317 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,967 - Anything? - Hang on. 318 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,422 Exit's coming up. 319 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,159 Half a mile. 320 00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,241 - Quarter mile. You'd think I could find it. 321 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,166 Yeah, yeah, I would. 322 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:30,568 I would. Okay, I'm taking 495. 323 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,737 Okay, uh, here, let me see if it's... 324 00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:35,907 Oh, this is why I don't like big purses. 325 00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:38,743 Here it is. It says take 24 to 128. 326 00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,299 Hey, look, cookies. 327 00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:03,212 - Chocolate chip? - Oatmeal raisin. 328 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,019 Fart. 329 00:15:05,088 --> 00:15:08,106 Ah, I guess they stopped serving dinner at 9:30. 330 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:10,708 Looks like that missed exit had the last laugh. 331 00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:12,042 Oh, look at this cute note. 332 00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,244 "In lieu of television, 333 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,379 "please tune in to each other." 334 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,716 - Ha-ha. - Ha-ha, indeed. And get this. 335 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,762 "Sorry, no Wi-Fi, but the good news is 336 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,653 "your marriage has four bars." 337 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,922 - Terrific. - Oh, here's another note. 338 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:27,191 "How adorable were those first two notes? 339 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,004 "I hope you read this one third." 340 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,039 There's a used condom in the fireplace. 341 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:32,241 And the fireplace is decorative, 342 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,797 so that's here to stay. 343 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,444 So, do you think word just got out 344 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:36,912 in the daddy longlegs community, like, 345 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,369 "Hey, come to this hotel"? 346 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,915 Peter, it's a little warm in here. 347 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,017 Do you want to turn on that overhead ceiling fan? 348 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,474 Sure. Looks stable. 349 00:15:46,462 --> 00:15:48,307 - Can you notice that? - Yeah. 350 00:15:48,331 --> 00:15:50,576 Can you notice anything in the world other than that? 351 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,667 Only that fist-sized moth in the lampshade by the bed. 352 00:15:53,737 --> 00:15:56,470 I'm going to bed so that "go home time" comes faster. 353 00:16:07,951 --> 00:16:09,911 I'll just sleep with the light on. 354 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,724 Natalia, will you be our nanny forever? 355 00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:19,993 Dah, unless Belarus security force 356 00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,973 - track me down. - I'm sorry, what? 357 00:16:21,997 --> 00:16:23,864 Natalia make a few enemies 358 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,433 before she leave Belarus. 359 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:35,876 Natalia save baby. 360 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,945 - Brian? - Lock door. 361 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,218 - Why would I... - Brian! 362 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,308 No kissing. Under bed. 363 00:17:00,570 --> 00:17:02,330 Ah! 364 00:17:08,211 --> 00:17:09,211 Out. 365 00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,158 Boy, that was a close one. 366 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,879 Ah, my son was in the backseat. 367 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:04,815 Daddy? 368 00:18:14,577 --> 00:18:16,710 - Where are we going? - You're going home. 369 00:18:16,779 --> 00:18:18,845 Count to three and pull cord. 370 00:18:20,917 --> 00:18:23,918 I don't know my numbers! 371 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:32,943 Again! Again! 372 00:18:41,604 --> 00:18:43,537 - Oh. This. - What? 373 00:18:43,606 --> 00:18:46,173 That mealy-mouth thing you do. Take a sip of water. 374 00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:48,241 I don't like water. I like pop. 375 00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:49,555 Hey, will you let me know when you're done 376 00:18:49,579 --> 00:18:51,156 using the phone charger that I brought? 377 00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:52,891 Oh, you mean the only thing that you packed? 378 00:18:52,915 --> 00:18:54,392 Yeah, I just assumed if you pay, 379 00:18:54,416 --> 00:18:56,127 - you don't have to pack. - Here we go. 380 00:18:56,151 --> 00:18:57,484 My husband, the Rockefeller, 381 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,464 letting my parents pay for the nanny. 382 00:18:59,488 --> 00:19:00,966 Kids still lining up around the block 383 00:19:00,990 --> 00:19:02,189 for those piano lessons? 384 00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:03,802 I wonder which has more clutter on it, 385 00:19:03,826 --> 00:19:05,159 the piano or your treadmill. 386 00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:06,622 You know what? I'm gonna go with the treadmill. 387 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,146 Really? Let's go knock on the door of the next room 388 00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:10,860 and ask them which one of us is fat. 389 00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:13,166 Oh, I'm so sorry I'm not Bradley Hooper. 390 00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:14,768 It's Cooper, not Hooper. 391 00:19:14,837 --> 00:19:16,748 You're thinking of Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street, 392 00:19:16,772 --> 00:19:18,071 and I'd sooner fuck him. 393 00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,574 He was a business owner. He was a successful man. 394 00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:22,287 You think you're the only one in this relationship 395 00:19:22,311 --> 00:19:24,022 who wants to be with a successful man? 396 00:19:24,046 --> 00:19:26,725 - Get over yourself. - Oh, hey, do you want these spit droplets back, 397 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,059 or are they for my arm to keep? 398 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,195 Sorry, I was trying to scare that fly on your hand. 399 00:19:30,219 --> 00:19:31,663 Oh, it's a liver spot. Never mind. 400 00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:33,927 I'm hoping it's cancer. I want the ticket out. 401 00:19:33,989 --> 00:19:36,134 Oh, if you die, can I have all of your nothing? 402 00:19:36,158 --> 00:19:37,524 What do you mean if I die? 403 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,060 I've been dead since the minute I said "I do!" 404 00:19:40,129 --> 00:19:41,406 Well, the minute you say "I don't," 405 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,663 I am out that door. 406 00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:45,249 - Oh, is that right? - Yep. 407 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,599 Well, what if I just said, "The hell with it, go?" 408 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:48,686 What if you did? 409 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,289 Go. 410 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,107 Fine! 411 00:19:59,148 --> 00:20:02,917 ♪ So far away 412 00:20:02,985 --> 00:20:05,252 ♪ Doesn't anybody stay 413 00:20:05,321 --> 00:20:08,722 ♪ In one place any more? 414 00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:11,826 ♪ It would be so fine 415 00:20:11,894 --> 00:20:15,195 ♪ To see your face at my door 416 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,833 ♪ It doesn't help to know 417 00:20:18,901 --> 00:20:21,919 ♪ You're just time away 418 00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:26,023 ♪ Long ago I reached for you 419 00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:29,677 ♪ And there you stood 420 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:33,096 ♪ Holding you again could only 421 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:35,215 ♪ Do me good 422 00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:38,585 ♪ How I wish I could 423 00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,287 ♪ But you're so 424 00:20:40,356 --> 00:20:43,190 ♪ Far 425 00:20:43,258 --> 00:20:46,293 ♪ Away ♪ 426 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,129 So, how was the trip? 427 00:20:57,523 --> 00:20:58,923 Just terrible. 31187

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