Original subtitles

On "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You need to conduct one-on-one interviews for "50/50."

- Get away from her... - You bitch!

- Cuchi, cuchi? - Cuchi, cuchi.

Grab the wheel! Oh, my God!

We got the pizza going,

and we're going to put it in the oven.

This is a hot-ass mess.

Salina EsTitties.

You kept talking over.

Tell me the story about a prosthetic leg.

Malaysia Babydoll Foxx.

It became his interview of you.

Sasha Colby.

My favorite part, you throwing the cards away.

Who needs this?

You're the winner of this week's challenge.

Salina EsTitties, shantay, you stay.

Malaysia Babydoll Foxx,

sashay away.

Girl.

We are back in the workroom,

and Malaysia's been eliminated.

I've lost one of the closest people

to me in the competition.

She's, like, the true definition of a sister.

We loved, we fought, but at the end of the day,

we still kiki-ed and we cut the fuck up.

"Remain humble.

"The fattest and the baddest from Miami,

Malaysia Babydoll Foxx."

- Babydoll, Babydoll, Babydoll. - Miss Salina, how you feeling?

So, before I was only in the bottom

because, like, design challenges.

So it's only the designs, you know?

But now I'm officially a bottom bitch, and, like,

I didn't come into here

thinking I was going to be that.

Bitch, this is my first time in the bottom,

and I thought I was going to be the one lip-synching.

So, like, you got to shake it off and just keep going.

I don't think I did that bad last week.

Oh, bitch, that was quick.

She knows her way

around cleaning the mirror at this point.

I don't feel like the girls see me as competition

because I've been in the bottom so much.

But, listen, I've allowed my light

to be dimmed up until this point.

But, baby, not no more.

No more Mrs. Nice EsTitties, okay?

She's coming out to play. Let's go, bitches.

Congratulations, auntie, on your third win, babe.

- You got it together. - Thank y'all.

Three maxi challenge wins.

I mean, I really felt like y'all were,

like, going to be ahead.

- How do you all feel? - I'm surprised.

- Yeah. - I really expected to win.

Are we that shocked?

Loosey thinks she should win every week.

I'm definitely seeing me being

this close to a win as, like, okay, bitch,

you have to get the win next time.

I hear the judges telling me that I have

what it takes to go all the way.

I'm, like, right behind Sasha, who is

technically the front-runner.

But I think I'm the front-runner

in terms of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

So, statistically, I want to be in second place,

but I'm always going to be in first place up here.

How about we get out of drag?

But don't get too comfy, because the queen

is coming for her crown, yes, God.

Yes, I am.

I said the queen, not the beast.

- I know. - Ooh! Beast?

I'm sure Loosey and Luxx have the most

fire under their asses, 'cause they were both on the top

and they both felt like they should have won,

and they smell blood in the water.

And it's three girls away from the final four.

Like, that's crazy motivation for all of us.

It's on.

Is that Joey Jay?

I'm a gay-ass bit... I am a gay-ass bitch.

"RuPaul's Drag Race"

The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a gag-worthy grand prize of $200,000

served by Cash App.

With extra-special guest judge Ali Wong.

"RuPaul's Drag Race," may the best drag queen win

Best drag queen win

Oh, not Kelly and Michelle.

It is a new day in the workroom.

We are top seven, which is something I never

thought I'd be able to say.

That's not true. That's a big lie that I just told,

so I'm going to do it again.

Kelly and Michelle.

They're wearing more makeup than Marcia.

Shut up.

Ha ha ha ha, Marcia doesn't wear any makeup.

Whoo.

- Beyoncé looks are really fun. - I loved mine.

- Yeah. - It was so sickening.

I loved wearing my look.

I felt really, really beautiful in it.

Why weren't you pregnant, though?

She wasn't very far along when

she announced her pregnancy.

You could see the bump on the red carpet in the orange dress

and you could see it in the performance, sweetheart.

I feel like you're insulting me right now, and, like...

No, I'm not insulting her because she

actually was pregnant.

I'm insulting you because you had a corset on, so...

Literally Google the performance.

She was rubbing her baby bump.

Yeah, but Beyoncé has body, body, body.

So I wanted to give body, body, body.

And belly bump.

Wait, you didn't have body on either.

- You didn't have Beyoncé body. - I had Beyoncé body on.

Like the Luxx version of the Beyoncé body.

Yeah.

So why can't I do the Loosey version of Beyoncé body?

Because I feel like if you're pregnant,

you should be pregnant.

I'm just like, let the unraveling begin.

But she wasn't showing in her pregnancy.

You could go back and look.

I don't have to, because I know.

I know, too, because I did the look.

I came in second last week. She didn't.

So I don't really understand

why she's trying to sort of read me.

But we all know the deal.

Talent gets you to the finale, not mind games.

Ooh, girl.

She done already done had herses.

Yeah.

My queens, pardon my French and Saunders,

but the Key and Peele to making comedy

is to know when to Cheech and when to Chong.

Now, go back to Broad City where you belong.

- Oh, my God. - Definitely duos.

- Comedy duos. - Yeah.

Hello, hello, hello.

She's Miss Harley Queen.

Ladykins, America's next drag superstar

needs to have all the right moves.

So for today's mini challenge,

we're going to celebrate a queer art form.

Yes, yes, yes.

We are throwing ourselves a Harlem vogue ball, darling.

I am looking for popping, dipping,

and spinning, sha-blam.

Fierce.

All of it, darlings.

You've got 15 minutes to get into quick voguing drag.

So don't just stand there.

Let's get to it.

Death drop.

I have nothing to wear for this challenge.

Nipple ring.

Calling all the up-and-coming children.

Category is I'm So Into Voguing Right Now.

DJ, hit it.

From the House of East Orange, Luxx Noir London.

Ooh!

Work, hey.

Face, face, face, serving face.

From the Casa LaDuca, Loosey LaDuca.

No foam here.

I'm just kidding.

Loosey's been saying the whole competition,

"I got tricks, I got tricks."

Baby, she pulled out a cartwheel.

Butch-queen realness.

From the House of EsTitties, Salina.

Salina is, like, flopping side to side.

Someone's going to get hit.

- What is happening? - Banjee girl realness.

From the Brady Dynasty, Marcia Marcia Marcia.

Work.

Yes, all of New York is wrapped up in you, darling.

From the Colby Carrington Dynasty,

Sasha Colby.

Opulence, you own everything.

Come on!

Class is in session with our Miss Brooks.

Yes, bae. Come on, bae.

Ooh!

Ooh, I guess she forgot to shave.

Put it on, bitch.

Go beat that mug, bitch.

Shut up.

Here it comes.

Yeah!

From the House of You Better Walk That Fucking Duck, Anetra.

Put the bass in that duck walk.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Ah! Oh, my God!

Category closed.

Category is closed.

Wow.

Okay, queens, I saw stars and statements.

But one of you was a legend.

Oh, pit crew?

Careful, you're gonna put somebody's eyes out

with that thing.

I wish he would.

The winner of today's mini challenge,

snatching the grand prize trophy is...

Anetra.

Condragulations.

You've won a cash prize of $2,500.

Ah!

Oh. Oh, no.

My queens, drag reminds us

to not take life too seriously.

So, for today's maxi challenge,

Bubly wants us all to crack a smile,

because you'll be performing stand-up

in front of a live audience at the Bubly Comedy Festival.

- Wow. - Wow.

Now, I wouldn't consider myself a stand-up comic,

but I do love some sit-down comedy.

It's too funny.

Oh, pit crew?

I'm parched.

What you got in that trunk?

Now, to randomly divide you into comedy duos...

You need to reach into this cooler

and pull out a can of Bubly sparkling water.

All right, up first, Sasha Colby.

Come pick your Bubly drink.

No peeking.

Sasha has mango.

Up next, it's Marcia Marcia Marcia.

Oh.

- Marcia has blackberry. - Ooh.

Ooh, Loosey got lime.

Luxx Noir London...

Luxx, you've got lime.

That means you're with Loosey.

I feel like Loosey may struggle

with this being with Luxx.

Oh, my God!

Weren't they fighting this morning?

And they're together.

Salina EsTitties.

Salina got cherry.

Anetra, you got mango.

That means you are with Sasha.

Mistress, pick your poison.

I am praying to the drag gods

that I will be with a good team this time, bitch.

I am ready for my redemption era.

Mistress got blackberry.

So she is with Marcia.

Oh, my bestie.

Now, Salina, you alone have cherry.

You have a choice.

You can choose to perform solo,

or you can steal a partner

from one of the paired queens.

Ooh.

There is a positive and a very big negative

to going solo in this challenge.

On one hand, I can really impress them

and, like, get a redemption.

On the other, it can go south,

and it's no one's fault but my own.

So, Salina, what say you?

I'll steal a queen.

Two titties are better than one titty.

All right.

Which queen do you choose to steal?

I'll take Mistress over here.

Ooh.

Oh, I'm sorry, bestie. I know you wanted me.

That means Marcia Marcia Marcia,

you'll be working solo, solo, solo.

Anetra, because you won the mini challenge,

you get to decide the order of performance.

Later today you'll workshop your material

with Michelle Visage

and our extra-special guest judge,

comedy sensation Ali Wong.

Shut up.

Racers, start your engines, and may the best queen win.

Cheers to me.

Out of all the challenges,

this is the one that I'm the most nervous about.

Fuck.

Oh, my God, Anetra, I love your hair today.

Lay it on us, girl.

This week's maxi challenge is a stand-up-comedy challenge.

Anetra gets to pick the lineup for the comedy show.

Now, this can make or break your act.

If you are starting and you don't have a good act,

it's really going to bomb.

And if you go last and you don't have a good act,

it's really going to bomb.

All right, what's the sitch?

- So, opening, we have Marcia. - Great.

I know myself.

If I were to go in the middle,

I would be sitting in the chair running it in my head

over and over and over again.

So I'm really happy I just get to, like, do it,

and I'm done.

Next will be Luxx and Loosey, then Sasha and I.

And closing, we have the divalicious divas...

- Okay, I'm down with it. - Mistress and Salina.

What was your, like, plan of, like...

- Process. - Yeah, what was your process

of choosing us in that lineup?

I don't have to tell y'all nothing if I don't want to.

Ooh!

She said, we're down to seven, henny.

Oh, thank God my Anetra tattoo was only temporary.

Miss Anetra was very strategic with her lineup.

- Thanks, Aneech. - Thank you, girl.

I always prefer to be right in the middle,

because I think we've all been

to those really, really long drag shows

that seem to go on and on and on,

but we are going to make the most of it.

Have you ever done stand-up?

I've never done stand-up,

but people just say that I'm funny sometimes.

I get paired with Loosey.

And despite our little tiff-taff at the table earlier,

I know that Loosey wouldn't tell me

that my bad joke is funny

because we both want to win this challenge this week.

I really think that the judges are looking

for us to have chemistry.

It could be kind of, like, roasty.

I can find something to compliment about you.

I can say, oh, you're looking so trim

or something like that.

And we can come up with some type of a joke

for you to say, like...

Goddamn tapeworm, gets me every time.

Okay, I'm liking this.

This is Luxx Noir Paris...

Uh, Detroit... uh, London?

London. Luxx Noir London.

And this is Lookey Da...

I mean Loosey, you're safe...

I mean Loosey.

I find it so funny

that Loosey and Luxx are paired together,

because they are two of the thirstiest bitches

left in the competition,

and they both would do anything to secure that win.

So this will be very interesting to see

how this plays out.

The competition has been a lot like puberty for me...

a lot like puberty in that I'm super uncomfortable.

Poor Marcia's over there talking to herself.

You talking to yourself over there, girl?

- I have to. - I know.

Marcia, do you feel like Salina

meant to put you by yourself?

Let me come over. Let me talk to you.

Just know I have no ill will toward you.

I feel like I might have done the same thing, honestly.

No, yeah.

Because, you know, she's a funny bitch.

So I get it. I totally understand.

I'm a little panicked.

It feels almost as if my training wheels

have been taken off, and I'm riding my two-wheeler

for the first time.

I'm either going to hit it out of the park,

or I'm going to flop.

And I do not know which one it's going to be.

I was just thinking, as far as maybe a layout,

I could thank Loosey and Luxx,

and then you could get a bit... However long you want...

And then we could do a bunch of those canned bits.

I'm sorry,

'cause, honestly, all I can think of right now

is this, like, splitting migraine

- that's happening in my head. - Yeah.

I'm not really feeling great right now.

As soon as I, like, sat down, I started to notice my vision

was getting really spotty in my right eye.

And it literally feels like if somebody were

to just press on my forehead,

my entire brain would just, like, explode.

Like, how my head feels right now

is how that old lady felt when Laganja was like,

"It's kind of like your vagina."

But I don't want to, like, stop working.

Yeah. Is it getting worse?

I feel bad for Sasha because I'm not really

as useful as I, like, normally would be.

- I'm gonna grab an aspirin. - Get your life.

I'll be right back.

The headache is really taking over her,

where she's not really coming up with anything.

And this is about teamwork, so...

I don't know. I'm nervous.

- Look who's here. - Hi.

Hi.

It's time for me to meet with the comedy coaches,

Michelle Visage and Ali Wong.

I love her so much.

It's a little intimidating.

Hi, Marcia.

I'm so excited to see what you have.

I have a pretty solid chunk.

"Solid chunk," sounds like a fat stool.

All right, Marcia, let's go for it.

Okay, so I'm opening the show.

Oh, shit, you're doing it alone,

- and you're opening the show? - Mm-hmm.

The big advantage is you don't have to worry

about someone else doing the same bit.

- Exactly. - Because if they do...

I went first, and they copied me.

I love it.

All right, Marcia, hit it.

We have to start with Mother RuPaul.

RuPaul reminds me of Cinderella.

She's beautiful, she is blonde,

she always has a little raven flying around her,

- fixing her outfits. - True.

And you can't forget...

She's sat beside her two evil stepsisters.

Yes, yes.

Ross Matthews and Carson Kressley unfortunately

could not be here tonight.

They were recently cast in a remake of "The Parent Trap."

- Like they're the twins. - Not so funny.

You can think of something funnier there.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Something that doesn't make sense.

Maybe going with something really serious,

like they're in rehearsal for "Death of a Salesman."

S-s-s-sure.

They're in rehearsal for "Magic Mike."

- That is very funny. - I could see it.

And then do the logline.

Like, "Magic Mike," they've lost the magic.

The magic is gone.

- Magic is gone. - That's the one.

Oh, my goodness. Look at this.

Have you ever done comedy, Luxx?

Never, but people tell me I'm funny all the time.

But looks aren't everything, Luxx.

Loosey... Thank you very much.

That was my comedy. I'll be here all week.

Loosey, have you ever done stand-up?

- Yes, I do a lot of stand-up. - Do you? Great.

- But I always do it solo. - Thank you, Luxx.

- Are you ready to show us? - Yeah, I think so.

I heard that you have a sugar daddy?

A sugar daddy.

Yeah, I actually do.

He's really nice. I think he has a friend.

He really has a thing for white girls with no rhythm.

For white girls with what?

- No rhythm. - Oh, no rhythm. Okay.

I don't want to lose

any of these, like, great lines you're saying.

So just make sure to, like, take your time,

'cause that's a great punch line.

Do you have no rhythm, Loosey?

No.

- We saw you earlier, girl. - I think I have rhythm.

But do you really?

I won in LaLaPaRuza, so...

Oh, my God.

How are you making money nowadays?

I mean, I don't mean to embarrass you

in front of all of your fan, but I...

Very funny.

Is that okay to say?

- No, it's fine. - Okay.

If I got laugh, baby, it's going to stay.

Oh, yeah, no, girl, of course.

I hear he really has a thing for white girls

with no rhythm.

Again, I couldn't...

- I lost you on "rhythm." - Okay.

Luxx needs to work on slowing down.

This is a group challenge.

We either succeed together, or we fail together.

We're basically going to tell, like, hook-up stories

that go wrong because of our drag personas.

Oh, that's unique.

Salina's playing coy. She's a nasty bitch.

That's why I wanted to go with this direction,

because it's real,

and, like, even if we slip up on our notes,

it's a story we could tell

because it's really happened to us.

Okay, good.

All right, well, let's give it a go.

I was craving a little Mexican,

so I found me a sickening papi, bitch.

I dimmed the lights,

and I played some seductive music to set the tone.

Ooh, what's your favorite song to go get freaky to?

"Geronimo" by RuPaul.

I think I'm funny,

and the coaches are definitely laughing.

Bitch, it is time for my winner era.

Girl, right, like this one time, right,

I was at a Christmas party,

and I was dressed as a pregnant Mrs. Claus

with a prosthetic belly out to here.

And, baby, there was this fine piece of trade eyeballing me

from across the room.

My phone was disconnected, so I gave him my email.

I run home, and I log in, and there's a...

And I say, meet me

in the communal laundry room downstairs.

And he's already in there with his chonies down

on top of the washer machine on the final cycle.

That's when I realized he wants my South Pole.

So the idea is, like, I thought I was going to bottom,

but he wants to be the bottom.

It's taking too long to get to the punchline.

Okay.

So I crawled into bed next to my boyfriend,

and I whispered, "Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas."

As if I'm going to give it to him, because he left me.

I'm a little nervous, because I can ramble and I can talk,

and I'm trying to remember, like, girl, you got this.

Like, calm down, bitch. You're fine.

Because I'm over that

being-in-the-bottom bullshit, okay?

I think there's so much fat you can cut.

Just take, like, what are the funniest parts

and you want to get to them sooner.

Got ya.

You know what you're doing because these are your stories.

You're just embellishing on them.

So what you need to do tonight is work on those timings.

I will stay up all night to make sure that I'm in the top.

But if Salina flops, I am going to jump ship.

Sorry, girl.

I hope you have your floatie.

I am going to make sure that I am swimming

- out to the shore, honey. - Good luck.

Thank you so much.

- Oh. - Hi, kids.

Hi.

I am so excited.

I was like, when is an Asian queen coming out?

We had two, but...

Luckily, I feel much better now.

I got some, like, meds and pills in, so I'm good.

I mean, this is "RuPaul's fucking Drag Race,"

and I'm not laying down for nothing.

So, Anetra, I heard about your ocular migraines.

I can tell you that they're nothing to worry about.

- Okay. - So familiar with them.

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman over here.

- Thank you. - I had no idea.

There's nothing I can't do. Let's get going.

- Okay, great. - Hear what you've got.

I'm going to start it off by thanking Luxx and Loosey.

Do you know what the direction

you're going to go in is?

Like, I was thinking, like, drag's answer to Penn & Teller,

which, you know, you want one of them mute and the other one,

I don't know, something.

That's good. You're onto something there.

And then it was going to go into Anetra's bit.

When I sat down to write, the pain

was so excruciating that all I could think about

- was my headache. - Okay.

So I kind of just ran with that.

Okay.

I'm dealing with a migraine currently

bigger than Mistress and Luxx's ego combined.

- Yes. - It's an inside joke.

- Are we going to get it? - Right.

You never want to do an inside joke that we won't get.

Okay.

My head is throbbing harder than Salina

during Pride season.

- Does Salina... she... - EsTitties.

- Scrapping it. - Okay.

Oh, my God.

And then I have... But lucky for my man,

my head is an absolute mess.

Why is your man lucky if you can't give head?

Yeah.

Girl, it's not going well.

Trying to figure out the headache jokes

is making my headache worse.

Should I scrap the headache?

- Maybe. - When are you funniest?

When do you make people laugh the most?

I don't know.

There are jokes in you, Anetra.

Sasha can help you. You're a team.

You go down, she probably goes down.

So it's important to look out for one another

in this situation.

So keep at it and see the bubbly side

and turn it out for us tomorrow.

I just want to pray that the physical is overwhelming her

and she'll click in,

because I don't want us to be on the bottom.

I'm worried about Anetra.

Me too.

Wow.

Ahh...

It is elimination day, and tonight we

are performing our comedy sets in front of the judges

and a live audience.

- So how are we feeling? - I feel good.

I definitely kind of feel like I got, like,

a little bit of a rough start.

I'm feeling good today.

It's pretty clear that none of the headache jokes

were landing, so after the coaching session,

I did take a different direction,

and I feel much better about it today.

I'm excited to see that we are applying the critique.

- Mm-hmm. - Hoo...

After a pretty rough start,

I know that my shit has to be tight.

And I'm just praying that Anetra's head is

in the game literally.

So how are you guys feeling after everything?

Really good.

Yeah, I'm feeling super excited.

Yeah, very confident.

So how are you and your partner doing, Marcia?

Me and Marcia are doing really well.

How are you feeling working solo?

You know, part of it's just a little scary

because I didn't have anybody to, like, work off of

and I had to kind of come up with everything myself.

Was that something that, like, made you nervous?

I really tried to think of it like, okay, this is a blessing.

This is an opportunity for me to kind of shine on my own.

This is the first morning

I've woken up with butterflies in there,

just because if I mess up, it's, like, all on me.

I will admit, being alone in a challenge like this,

don't let it, like, throw you off.

Girl...

I feel like if you get thrown off,

it's going to be, like, even worse for you

because you don't have someone else to pick up the slack.

- It's like... - Oh, that's true, too.

It's only you.

Look at them psyching her out.

You think that's what happening?

Yes, ma'am.

Them hos is shady.

If that's what you treat your friends like...

I don't want to know about your enemies.

Would you say that you get your humor

because of growing up chubby?

I know for me I grew up really chubby,

and it's because I'm not the pretty one,

you got to entertain the kids with a little, you know, humor.

I've never really let that affect me.

I always just say what's on my mind.

You've been doing that, girl.

I think also it's different, too,

when you're born and raised with a whole bunch of Latinas,

- because, you know... - They cut up.

Me and Mistress vibe.

We're both thick. We're both Latina.

We have similar upbringings and perspectives.

So I really relate to that.

You know, also, too, with Latinas,

it's like, they also keep a lot of stuff hidden.

That's, like, a big reason I think why me and my family,

like, just didn't see eye to eye.

My mom... me coming out gay, being a drag queen,

her biggest thing was like, what are people gonna think...

- You're ruining the dream. - Yeah.

That's hard.

Was there, like, something that prompted, like,

you know, like, the cutoff?

So. from 17 and up, I was already on my own.

But I would always try to give my mom little ways

to come back into my life.

I had broke my ankle one time

when I was performing at a brunch show.

- You were bucking too hard? - In drag.

My ankle, like, snapped, like, full broke.

And I go to get up, and it's like a movie.

Like, my leg is like spaghetti.

Call my mom when I'm in the emergency room.

I'm like, hey, I broke my ankle.

I need you to come, like, help get my medical things situated

and, like, go get my stuff.

So she shows up and she goes,

ugh, what the fuck are you wearing?

Because I'm still in drag.

So keep in mind I'm in so much pain now.

So I literally told her, girl, please leave me alone

and forget I even ever reached out to you.

And, like, after that day,

I have not talked to my mom in, like, years.

I wouldn't either.

I think when I was younger and as I grew up,

I kind of always pictured that when I became an adult

that we would work it out.

But I think that some of the things

my mom has said and done are just unforgivable.

So I don't think that I would ever have

a relationship with her.

And I think, like, after that day, it just helped me realize

that I can't keep putting myself out there

to expect something from someone who doesn't see me

as a normal human being.

But it was just such a learning experience,

and, like, weirdly enough, one of, like, the best things

to ever happen to me.

Breaking my ankle really showed me

so much about who I could depend on,

who really matters in my life.

And now I have a bionic ankle.

Nothing is going to break or shatter her.

I feel unstoppable at this point.

Cover girl

Put the bass in your walk

Head to toe, let your whole body talk

Yes.

And what?

Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

My favorite straight man, Michelle Visage.

Well, you know what they say, Ru...

You are what you eat.

The electric Ts Madison.

Hey, Ru, I got a joke for you.

- What does a nosy pepper do? - I don't know.

What does a nosy pepper do?

It gets jalapeño business.

And the hilarious Ali Wong.

You look gorgeous.

I can't believe you've had two kids.

Well, Ru, I have to take care of myself.

I'm single now,

and this pussy ain't gonna eat itself.

This week we challenged our queens

to make us crack a smile at the Bubly Comedy Festival.

And tonight on the runway,

category is Rip Her To Shreds.

Racers, start your engines, and may the best drag queen win.

From the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race,"

it's the Bubly Comedy Festival.

Please give a warm welcome

to Marcia Marcia Marcia.

Oh, my gosh.

Look at these faces.

My name is Marcia Marcia Marcia.

I'm sort of a newer drag queen.

So being here has felt a lot like puberty to me.

You know, my body is changing.

I'm, like, discovering a lot of insecurities

that I didn't know that I had.

But guess what.

I'm finally a B cup. Ah!

But, yes, another journey that I've really been going on

since I've been here is with my makeup.

When I got here, we'll say I wasn't necessarily

doing "drag," per se.

I was more enhancing my natural beauty, yeah.

And everybody at home kept telling me how pretty I was,

which begs the question,

where were you when you realized your entire hometown

was lying to you?

Yeah, I was on television.

Yeah, yeah.

A round of applause for the judges.

This table of icons.

You may notice that Ross and Carson

are not up there tonight.

Unfortunately, they could not be here.

They are filming "Die Hard 20" down the street.

Yeah, not exactly what I meant

when I wanted more diversity in Hollywood,

but you take what you can get.

On the judges' panel,

we have Ursula the Sea Witch, everybody.

Give it up for Ts Madison.

Your critiques have got some of these girls really nervous.

Oh.

And when I say "these girls," I do mean myself.

I am very nervous around you.

And with that, I think that's my time.

Y'all have been an incredible audience...

So welcoming.

And it is part of my job as the show opener

to introduce our next pair of girls.

These two are some of my closest friends

in the competition.

So I can tell you from a really sincere place

that they're both rotted garbage people.

Yeah.

Luxx Noir London and Loosey LaDuca.

Thank you all so much.

Oh, hello.

Now, first of all, give it up for Marcia Marcia Marcia.

Yes, oh, my God. Wasn't that such a funny joke?

Her comedy wasn't half bad either, am I right?

You know, Loosey, I'm sure nobody's ever told you this,

but you have really nice teeth.

Thank you.

How do you keep them so white?

- I whiten them. - Oh, my God.

I didn't think you could get any whiter.

Oh, wow. Okay, here's how.

This is what you do.

You take the white strips, okay?

Now, those pesky directions will tell you 30 minutes.

Forget it. Put them on.

Baby, you go to bed.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, eight hours later, you're going to wake up,

and your teeth are going to be white.

They'll be on your pillow, but they will be white.

How white do they get?

Oh, girl, they get so white,

they put mayonnaise on everything.

Oh, honey, I bet they get so white, they say,

can I speak to the manager, please?

Girl, they get so white, they find my comedy funny.

I know that's white.

It's good. I can say when it's good.

I don't like saying it, but I can say it.

Now, Luxxy, I don't mean to embarrass you

in front of all of your fan, but...

I heard a nasty rumor that you might have a sugar daddy.

A sugar daddy?

Actually, I do.

He's so sweet, and I hear he has a friend.

Wink, wink.

Oh, sweetheart, listen, if I wanted a sugar daddy,

I could probably get his number from you, right?

Oh, yeah, girl, no, of course, of course, of course.

All right, listen, we got to get out of here, okay?

I am late for my lobotomy.

Our next duo consists of a legend, an icon, a star,

a former Miss Continental, and a trailblazer

in our community.

And the other one is Anetra.

We are the two stoned queens.

- You know what I mean? - Mm-hmm.

We're living the California dream.

We're living the California sober dream,

you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm feeling like Demi Lovato up in here.

- Love it. Love it. - My name is Anetra.

I'm from Sin City, Las Vegas.

So that means that I have a venereal disease

and I can show you a great time.

And now some canned bits.

You know, sex is a misdemeanor.

- Oh, really? - Oh, yeah.

The more you miss, the meaner you get.

Oh.

You know what else they say?

They say sex is a lot like playing bridge.

What do you mean?

Well, if you don't have a good partner,

you better have a good hand.

Ow!

You know what I love more than canned bits is...

- You know what I love? - I think I know.

- I think you know. - I think I do.

Yeah, I think you know.

- We love some... - Laganja.

Oh, yes, mama, let's get sickening,

okurrrrr?

They're not getting a lot of laughs.

There's some dead air in there.

Stoned queens... we just get such a bad rap, you know?

Yeah, it's like we're lazy, we're forgettable,

- we get the munchies. - Yeah. Yeah.

- We're forgetful. - Wait.

We're... You already did that.

Oh, right, right, right. Anyway...

Wait. What were we talking about, again?

Well...

I'm feeling a little bad for them at this point.

God, this bit is lasting longer than Yvie Oddly's dick.

Yeah, I went there.

It's like a bell. Can't unring it, all right?

Let's just go for it.

All right.

What we really want to talk about

is Michelle's huge balls.

Ew.

Michelle Visage's balls are so big,

she lovingly refers to them as Latrice and Eureka.

But unlike Latrice and Eureka,

Michelle's balls have lasted

an entire season of "Drag Race."

- Damn. - Our time for you is over.

Welcome to the stage our next two divas,

Salina EsTitties and STD's Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

- Thank you, good night. - Whoo!

Thank you, Sasha and Anetra.

Who knew getting high can bring such a new low, girl?

These people are so beautiful.

Look at all the sexy men in the audience.

Ooh, you're right.

Ru does look good tonight, doesn't he?

Mistress, as a juicy, thick Latina,

it's hard to get a man sometimes.

They can't handle all this.

One time I was at a Christmas party,

and I was dressed as a pregnant Mrs. Claus.

- As a who? - Yeah.

I had this prosthetic belly. It was out to, like, here.

Oh, bitch.

And there was this fine piece of trade across the way.

He was hairy and veiny, and he was, like, 6'5".

He came over to me, right? He said, 'sup.

I want to feel that baby from the inside.

Girl, so I sent him my address, right?

I run home, I throw my shoes off,

- I take my hip pads off, right? - You keep the belly on, bitch?

Duh, you can't get pregnant twice.

So I text trade.

I said, meet me in the communal laundry room downstairs, okay?

I put on my chanclas, I run over, I open the door.

Trade is bent over the dryer on its final spin cycle.

No, ma'am!

His figgy pudding just shaking in midair.

Remember, he was 6'5", girl.

I'm trying to get in.

- Reach, reach, girl, reach. - I can't reach.

So I whisper in his ear, right? I'll be right back, papi.

I run upstairs,

I grab my highest pair of platform stiletto heels,

put them on, I kick open the door.

He's vanished.

It was just me and my unborn child

and a hot, steamy load of laundry.

Girl, that's why I don't even entertain trade in drag.

I was craving a little Mexican, so I hopped on the hook-up apps

to go shopping...

You know, the yellow Facebook.

And I found this sickening papi, girl.

He was hairy, veiny, and 6'5".

He sounds perfect.

Girl, he was.

So I start doing my normal routine

before a trade comes over.

I dim the lights, I put on some seductive music.

I like something sexy and sensual.

I just knew papi was going to make me go...

Ooh, I was ready to get me a piece.

Okay, girl, get to the point.

There's a lot of unnecessary detail

that isn't really funny.

I heard a knock at my door, so I run.

And as soon as I open the door,

he looked even better than his picture.

So I took him to the bedroom.

And, baby, you know I got to work.

And then all of a sudden, he goes, "Aah! What is that?"

Girl, I flip on the switch.

Tell me why there's a big-ass rhinestone on this man's...

Pinga?

Bitch, you already know.

So I take that stone from his disco stick so fast.

Wait, so what happened?

Girl, before I could even get back to the session,

he was gone.

What?

What about the rhinestone?

Oh, girl, it's right here.

What is that? Ooh, hold on.

Ignacio.

Good night, you guys. Thank you so much.

You've been a lovely audience.

The world is your runway

Category is Rip Her To Shreds.

Up first, Marcia Marcia Marcia.

What, did Jan win or something?

Honey, I am limping down this runway, girl.

I'm a pageant queen, and I won,

and all the girls didn't think that I deserved it.

So they tore apart my dress.

And, of course, I'm crying,

'cause this is supposed to be my moment.

If I can be beautiful and in pain

and funny at the same time, that's drag, mama.

You know, these pageants can be so cutthroat.

Loosey LaDuca...

Viola Swamp really got a makeover.

I'm giving you Nosferatu realness, girl.

I am serving a Victorian vampire queen.

She's been alive hundreds and hundreds of years,

and all of her clothing has been dragging through the mud,

and everything is just torn and spooky-ooky-kooky.

I look dead.

Interview with a glampire.

I got to tell you, the dry cleaners in Transylvania

are the worst.

Luxx Noir London...

I can see her wee-wee pole.

Yes.

This look was inspired by RuPaul herself.

She wore this look in the 1980s.

She was in a punk rock band called Wee Wee Pole.

It's just like this shiny kind of Liberace, Mad Max type

of feel.

This hair is the largest hair

that I have ever worn in my entire life.

Like, it's just giving.

This is true supermodel vibes right now.

This look is giving me déjà Ru.

Yes.

Sasha Colby...

She's got great jeans.

From the House of Rip Torn.

Nothing gets between me and my Calvins...

except all that ass.

This gown is a denim dream shredded to bits.

It's giving you early-2000s VMA.

I feel like a "TRL" moment, honey.

I feel like that "Total Request Live."

I shred what I shred.

Anetra...

If you stay shreddy, you ain't got to get shreddy.

I am giving you this shredded catsuit.

My concept is a lotus shredding through the mud

and coming out to blossom on top of the lake.

I'm giving you hot pink underneath

to represent the lotus,

and I'm giving you green to represent the water

and the murkiness of it.

Lotus flowers can only blossom when they're

in muddy or dirty waters.

You kind of have to, like, go through something

to come out on top and shine.

Ripped for her pleasure.

Salina EsTitties...

This week my runway is the story of a woman

escaping for a better life.

My mom told me how she got to America.

She was 17, running, crossing the border.

No one knows how hard it is

and what that takes, trying to get here.

Baby, I got my big Latina hair,

I got my cobija that's shredded, honey.

My runway is dedicated to every Latina mother

who wanted more for their family.

Mistress Isabelle Brooks...

She is booked, burnt, and blessed.

I didn't burn, I crystallized.

It's Madonna's "Material Girl" meets

Mugler meets Moschino with just a hint of Texas drag.

I look so fierce.

I feel so fashionable.

And the judges are eating it up.

Y'all see the shape, honey. Boop, boop.

Sickening.

Honey, her pussy is on broil.

She's got one in the pink and two in her butthole.

Welcome, queens.

It's time for the judges' critiques,

starting with Marcia Marcia Marcia.

So, Marcia, you had to start the show.

It's a tough gig to do.

You landed some laughs, but most of it kind of just

started to fall flat.

I think it just wasn't really funny enough.

But you clearly have such a great stage presence.

You just forgot to do that logline

for the movie to explain why you picked "Die Hard 20."

Like, if they could have been like,

Carson and Ross are starring in "Top Gun 3,"

just the volleyball scene.

Tonight on the runway... Though, I love this look,

Loosey did it not too long ago.

So, if I were you, I would have been a crafty queen

and thought of something else to do.

When there are seven girls left, it has to be more.

More, more, more.

Up next, Loosey LaDuca.

What I like about this look is that this

is very different for you.

It's creepy and Bram Stoker-y.

It's just so good.

In the comedy challenge, you clearly have

such a strong stage presence.

And that was clear from the jump.

And so we had a lot of high expectations,

and you really rose to the challenge.

- It was really great. - Thank you.

Girl, those white jokes were so funny to me, honey.

I almost fell out of my skin.

You did a really good job tonight.

All right, up next, Luxx Noir London.

- You are so funny. - Thank you.

And we had talked yesterday about... because I couldn't hear

some of the words you were saying,

and I could hear every word you said.

You were wonderful together.

I thought your timing was good.

I thought you were listening to what Loosey was saying.

You really did a wonderful job, Luxx.

You came here to win this competition, didn't you?

- Absolutely. - Oh, yes.

I love this look.

I love the way it's a homage to the mother.

You get it.

Let me just talk about this look.

I'm going to try to talk about it

without crying, okay?

Because I wore this look in 1986,

and it just brings back so many great memories for me,

because I was this freak running around New York City.

And if you would've asked me if I'd be sitting in this seat

hosting a television show back then,

you know what my answer would have been?

- Yes? - Yes.

So it all comes full circle.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Up next, Sasha Colby.

When you bent that corner, I said, baby,

she tore that shit up.

This is why in the comedy challenge

I was like, girl, nah.

You trying to rely on this stoner stuff, honey.

Yeah. There was a lot of lulls.

The pacing needed to stay up.

It's really hard to make new Michelle Visage balls

and dick jokes, and you made fresh ones

that were really good.

But that was probably, like, the peak of the performance.

I just wanted more of that, and you have it in you.

You're a very naturally funny queen.

You're Sasha Colby, girl. I want more from you.

Anetra.

I just think for you, there were moments

like I felt you were lost or scared,

and I felt like Sasha was doing the heavy lifting.

So I wanted more confidence, which is weird,

because when you come out here in drag,

you're powerful.

Michelle's absolutely right.

The confidence you have on the runway,

and you have so much confidence on this runway,

is yours for the taking throughout your life.

But I am really enjoying this look, honey.

It gives me body, and I'm a body girl.

And I like the way you... Yes, do that again.

Ooh, let me see that.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Up next, Salina EsTitties.

Let's talk about the challenge.

I want to give you credit because you got

to the storyline quicker.

I thought it was funny.

I thought the execution was good.

I think you look absolutely beautiful,

and I love the story that you're telling.

I think I might have been even more excited about this look

had it just been a dress made from that blanket

and you had really made it couture.

I think that would have been something

that we've truly never seen on this runway before.

All right.

Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

This look tonight... stunning.

It's burnt-up Marilyn Monroe.

It's just fun. It's drag.

I love the way that you, as a big girl, come out,

and you serve the girls, honey, letting people know,

honey, that we thick girls are gorgeously burnt up, too, okay?

- Yes, ma'am. - You also came a long way.

When we were doing the rehearsal,

you were not interacting with Salina that much.

But on the day, you guys were really

bouncing off of each other.

I felt like you were two preachers delivering

the unholiest of sermons.

Thank you, ladies. I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck in the workroom,

the judges and I will deliberate.

All right, now, just between us girlfriends,

what do you think?

Let's start with Marcia Marcia Marcia.

Going first is not always a bad spot.

Remember when Bosco opened up the show and she bodied it?

So it can really be an advantage.

And she did fine, but for this competition at this point,

you have to do great.

The thing is, she's very green when it comes to drag.

And a lot of what she learned in theater school

needs to be dragged up.

All right, let's move on to Loosey LaDuca.

In the challenge, she was kind of holding court,

because she's the one with the most experience

in this between her and Luxx.

And I felt very, very comfortable

and confident with her.

I think they could have been tighter as a whole.

- Tighter as a whole. - Thank you.

But she was very strong tonight in general.

I was proud of her.

Luxx Noir London.

Every time I see her, she always wows me.

I thought she was the most improved out

of the bunch from yesterday.

And on the runway, that look was just smart.

Not because it's kissing up to you, which, hey,

I'm always here for.

But also the reimagining of this look was so well done.

- A very smart move, you know? - Yes.

Let's talk about Sasha Colby.

Somehow the only joke I can remember

is Michelle's balls being named Eureka and Latrice.

That was the strongest one.

Which is a good sign, because that joke was great.

But then it's kind of a bad sign,

because I don't really remember the rest of the set.

Honey, she tears those looks up every time.

But can you always rely on your looks?

I don't know.

Anetra.

Every time she hits the runway, she kills it out here.

She's got the best walk

- in this entire competition. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

In the challenge, though, she got so lost in the situation

that I don't remember any funny part of her skit.

The pot-reference thing really threw us

into a different direction.

- It also never went anywhere. - And it never went anywhere.

- Yeah. - It didn't deliver anything.

All right, let's talk about Salina.

I thought she improved a great deal.

When Michelle and I watched the rehearsal,

we sat through, like, two presidential administrations.

100%. 100%.

But she really cut out a lot

and got to the juicy meat of the story sooner.

I could not stand the dress that she was wearing

underneath that jacket.

She looked like she was wrapped up in bandages.

Let's move on to her scene partner, Mistress.

I thought they worked very well together.

I thought they lifted one another up.

But the story took a little bit too long for me.

And you can see her setting it up

to get to the punchline at the end.

You know, the real meat of that story

is that she just starts giving head to a dude

and one of her rhinestones is on the tip.

So she could have started the story right then and there.

But she still clearly is a funny queen.

She's just not quite there yet.

- All right. - Silence.

I have made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Salina EsTitties and Mistress Isabelle Brooks,

your hook-up stories tickled our funny bones.

You are safe.

You may step to the back of the stage.

- Thank you so much. - Gracias.

Loosey LaDuca and Luxx Noir London,

tonight you had the white stuff.

Condragulations, you are both the winners

of this week's challenge.

You've each won a cash prize of $5,000

courtesy of Bubly Sparkling Water.

Money.

Thank you so much.

I am so excited,

because we honestly worked really well together,

and we both deserve.

Marcia Marcia Marcia,

we needed more, more, more.

Sasha Colby, to be blunt,

your stoner comedy was a little half-baked.

Anetra, you shredded the runway,

but your comedy had some holes in it.

Sasha Colby...

you are safe.

Thank you so much.

Marcia, Anetra, I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are up for elimination.

This is the first time I am in the bottom two.

Like, my heart is beating so fast.

I'm just, like, trying to keep myself calm.

I know that Anetra is one of the best performers

in this competition, and I know that Anetra

is going to turn it out.

So I'm going to try and turn it out just as hard.

Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

The time has come

for you to lip-synch...

for... your... life.

Get ready, Marcia.

I'm about to show you who's boss, bitch.

Good luck,

and don't fuck it up.

Mm, I ain't tryna

I ain't tryna

- I ain't tryna - Come on, bitch.

Yeah, ain't tryna to be cool like you

Wobbling around in your high-heeled shoes

I'm clumsy

Made friends with the floor

Two for one, you know a bitch buy four

And two left feet, you know I always drop

First thing a girl did was a bop

I'm the whole damn cake and the cherry on top

Shook up the bottom, made a good girl pop

You ain't even here to party

Ken in the club tryna pipe a Barbie

I don't wanna go, go, go with the flow

Backbend till I touch my toes

I don't wanna row, row, row the boat

Wrist full of rocks, and I hope I float

Free Willy!

I chew, chew, chew 'cause they hope I choke

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

Said, bitch, I'm the after, you been the before

I been the stallion, you been the seahorse

Don't need a report, don't need a press run

All of my bad pics been all my best ones

I wear the hat, and I wear the pants

I am advanced, so I get advanced, and I do my dance

And cancel the plans

Said, boo, don't be mad 'cause you had a chance

Drop, said, I took it, and I ran for it

I won it, then I stand on it

Money on the floor when we dance on it

Shine bright, finna put a tan on it

Said I ain't took it

I won it, then I stand on it

Money on the floor when we dance on it

Shine bright, finna put a tan on it

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

Come on, Anetra!

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

I'm a bitch, I'm a boss

I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss

Yes, ma'am.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Anetra...

shantay, you stay.

- You may join the other girls. - Thank you.

Marcia Marcia Marcia, we've got much more than a hunch

that you are going to be

a big, big star.

Now, sashay away.

Thank you for helping me evolve who I was.

Thank you so much to all of you, really.

I love you, Marcia.

Forget the nose.

Ow...

my heart.

Aw.

I'm honestly not super bummed.

I feel really proud of what I've done here.

Having just lip-synched against Anetra

and to have actually kind of put up a solid fight,

I feel really good. I pushed my makeup skills.

Oh, wait. Grammar.

Most importantly,

Ariana Grande knows who I am now.

So, I mean, that's worth $200,000 to me.

Condragulations, queens.

And remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell

are you going to love somebody else?

- Can I get an "amen" in here? - Amen.

All right. Now let the music play.

A little bit of love goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

Can you feel the love?

Next time on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You'll be starring in "Wigloose."

Everybody's going wigloose

There's a queen that wants to come through

Ooh, everybody's going wigloose

You didn't miss a beat.

Cracking me up the whole time.

I hope you have fun,

because I feel like you're a workaholic.

I'm not even cutting up.

I just feel like you're not being real, Loosey.

You think I'm not being real right now?

There goes Loosey lying.

A little bit of love goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

A little bit of love goes a long, long way

Turn it around when you up and say

Everybody say love, love, love

Love, oh, love, love

Love, love, love, oh, love, love

Love, can you feel the love?

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