All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S05E29 My Fair Sister 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

- Hiya, Slater.
- Hi, Sarge.

- I got us a couple of jelly doughnuts.
- Hey, great.

Here, take that one, it looks good.

Okay, thanks a lot.

Uh, by the way, Slater...

Oh, yeah,
you want a dime for the doughnut.

Oh, no, no, no, this is on me.

Uh, what I wanted
to talk to you about, uh...

Now, my sister's coming in for a visit
this weekend.

Is that the same sister that was here
a couple of years back?

Oh, no, no, she got married.

This is my other sister, Muriel.

Anyway, I was thinking, uh...

We are having a company dance tonight,
and I thought, as long as she's here,

she might want to go to it.

Well, yeah, I... I guess she might.

Now, I'd take her myself,
but I'm sergeant of the guard tonight,

so I thought it'd be kind of nice
if you took her.

- Well, Sarge, I...
- Now, don't get me wrong.

Uh, this ain't an order.
Now, I could ask a lot of guys,

but since you're the one
that works right under me,

it's kind of like keeping it
in the family. Right?

Oh, sure, Sarge, sure.
I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Oh, that's all right.
What are friends for? So it's all settled.

She'll be coming in this afternoon.

You can make all the arrangements
after she gets here.

Fine, fine.

- Uh, Sarge?
- Yeah?

- Uh, I was wondering...
- About what?

Well, I'm not exactly
the tallest guy in the world.

Your sister
isn't a real tall girl, is she?

No, Slater.

Uh...

- Yeah?
- Just out of curiosity,

not that it's important,
do you happen to have a picture of her?

- No, Slater.
- I thought you kept pictures

of your whole family in your desk.

I do. I just don't happen
to have a picture of her right now.

- If I did, I'd show it to you, wouldn't I?
- Oh, sure, sure.

Look, Slater, she's a wonderful girl,

has a nice personality, and bright.

She's a high school graduate
and has one year of business school.

Right now, she's assistant cashier
at the top auto repair shop in Toledo.

- Gee, that's great.
- Yeah.

Well, I'd better get these reports
over to the colonel.

If you're, uh, still hungry,
you can have my doughnut.

I didn't even touch it.

Hey, Sergeant Carter,
I came to clean up like you wanted me to.

Okay, Pyle.
If you're going to wax the floor, tell me.

I'm getting tired of sliding to my desk.

Hey, Duke.

Hi, Gome.

I won't be in your way here, will I?

No, go right ahead.

Hey, Gome, uh,
would you like a jelly doughnut?

Oh, no, thank you, Duke,
I'm working right now.

Oh, come on, you can take a little break.
Here, have it, it's nice and fresh.

Well, thank you.

Say, uh... [clearing throat]

...did you hear about the sergeant's
sister coming here for the weekend?

Well, ain't that nice?

Yeah, but I sort of got myself
into a little spot.

- I don't know how I could be so forgetful.
- What do you mean?

Well, I promised the sarge I'd take
his sister to the company dance tonight,

and just this minute I remembered
I already promised Harriet I'd take her.

Golly, that is a problem.

Yeah. I wish I knew what to do about it.

Hey, I just had a thought.

Maybe...

Oh, no. No, no, it'd be unfair to ask you.

Ask me what?

Well... well, it's obvious I can't take

both the sarge's sister and Harriet
to the company dance,

so, well, I was wondering,

by any chance... would you take her?

Well...

I don't really know Harriet that well.

No, no, not Harriet, the sarge's sister.

I really feel terrible about missing out
on the chance to take her,

but, well, unfortunately,
I'm stuck with Harriet

and I'm just too much of a gentleman
to break the date.

Well, that's real thoughtful of you, Duke.

- I'll be glad to help you out.
- Then you'll take her?

Well, I sure will.

Lou-Ann's out of town and
I wasn't planning on going to the dance,

but now that I got a date, I can go,

especially seeing how
it's the sergeant's sister.

Hey, great, Gomer, you're a pal.
Thanks a lot.

There's just one thing, though, Duke,
that worries me.

What's that?

Well, I hope she won't be disappointed
having me as her date.

Gomer, you got nothing to worry about,
believe me, nothing at all.

Pyle?

For my sister, you got Pyle?

Well, like I said, Sarge,
it just slipped my mind

that I already had this date with Harriet.

Harriet? You got some nerve, Slater.

The least you could have done
was come to me and tell me

and let me pick the substitute.

- Gee, Sarge, I'm sorry.
- You're sorry?

I know what it is.
You just didn't want to take my sister.

Maybe she ain't pretty enough
for a big ladies' man like you.

No, Sarge, that's not it at all.
She's very nice-looking.

- How do you know?
- Well, I, uh...

You sneaked a look
at her picture, didn't you?

No, how could I? You don't have a picture
of her. You said so yourself.

Never mind.
I don't need you or your substitute.

I can do better than you or Pyle.
Get out of here!

- Slater.
- Yeah, Sarge?

You owe me 20 cents for two doughnuts.

Uh, excuse me, but can you tell me
where I can find Sergeant Carter?

Oh, well, yes, ma'am.
He's probably in the duty hut.

- That's right straight ahead.
- Thank you.

Excuse me. Ma'am, by any chance,
are you Sergeant Carter's sister?

Well, yes, I am.

I knew it, I knew it!
There's a family resemblance.

It's the eyes.
They're just like Sergeant Carter's.

A lot of people tell me that.

I've really been looking forward
to meeting you, ma'am.

Oh, well, that's very nice of you,

but I didn't know my brother
told anyone I was coming.

Oh, sure, everybody knows about it.

Ain't it nice you're here
in time for the company dance?

Dance?

I don't know whether you know it or not,
but I'm gonna be taking you to it.

- You are?
- Yes, ma'am.

I'm privileged and honored
to be your escort.

Well, that's very nice of you, but I...

I hope you don't mind.
You see, originally,

Corporal Slater was gonna take you,

but it turned out
he had a prior engagement,

so I was happy to step in.

- I hope it's all right.
- Oh, of course it is.

I'm glad, 'cause I know
we'll have a real good time.

[laughs]

I just can't get over it! Them eyes,
they're just like Sergeant Carter's.

Of course, his are just
a little bit beadier than yours.

Listen, here I am rattling on and on,

and you're probably anxious
to get over there and see your brother.

I'll walk you over to the duty hut myself.
I'm Gomer Pyle.

- Oh... My name is Muriel.
- Muriel.

Wouldn't you know
you'd have a pretty name like that?

I've got this aunt named Muriel,
and she is the sweetest thing.

Ain't it funny, though,
how names kind of fit people?

- Yeah.
- Like when you say Muriel,

you think of somebody nice and sweet.

Then I've got this Aunt Matilda,
and she's just what you'd expect.

She's kind of uppity.
And then I got this cousin Goober...

Get me Corporal Kibbler
over in the motor pool.

He was transferred to Alaska
four months ago?

Oh, gee, that's too bad.

My sister's coming to town
and I thought...

Wait a minute.

Say, fella... what are you doing tonight?

Nah, forget it, never mind.

- Sergeant Carter, look who's here.
- [Muriel laughs]

- Hello, Vince.
- Muriel!

How are you?

Let me look at you.

Hey, you haven't changed a bit.
You look the same as ever.

Oh, well,
you're looking just fine too, Vince.

Uh, trim as usual.

[all laughing]

Well, I know you two got a lot
to talk about, so I'll see you later.

- It was nice meeting you.
- Oh, same here.

Uh, come on, sit down,
tell me all about yourself.

What's new, huh?

Oh, well, everything's going real good
down at the job.

Last month,
I was promoted to head cashier.

I work in the front office now.

Oh, that's great.

It's good being right up front.
I bet you meet a lot of fellas, huh?

Guys paying their bills.
Meet a lot of 'em, do you, huh?

Say, you know who sends her regards?

Cora. Remember, you used to go with her
in high school.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah. How is she?

Oh, she's fine. Uh, she married
Tony Hansen and has two kids.

Hey, that's good.

Say, besides guys paying their bills,

I bet you run into a lot of salesmen
and service managers, huh?

[chuckling] You run into
a lot of 'em, do you?

Oh, yeah.

I also got acquainted with the boss's
wife. She works in the front office too,

and we hit it off real well.
Have lunch together all the time.

That's nice, real nice.

How about fellas?
You ever go to lunch with fellas?

Occasionally, yeah.

- Occasionally?
- Say, Vince, are you still worried

about me being an old maid?

[stammering] Why would you think that?

[Gomer] Excuse me, Sergeant.

Muriel, I almost forgot.
Where will I pick you up tonight?

Uh, well, I'm staying
at the Oceanfront Hotel in town.

Fine, I'll pick you up there
at 7:00 sharp.

- Okay?
- [Muriel] Fine.

See you then.

Uh, you don't worry about me, huh?

Oh, you mean tonight's little thing?

Ah, it's just a company dance.

I figured as long as you're here,
you might as well go.

How about some coffee?

Well, I appreciate
what you're trying to do, Vince,

but I didn't plan this
as any social visit.

I just came here
to spend a few days with my brother.

I understand.

You're disappointed in Pyle.

Well, it's the best I could do
at the last minute.

Now, that's not it. Gomer seems very nice.

Yeah, well, he'll get you to the dance.
That's the important part.

Once you're there, there'll be
plenty of other fellas you can meet.

- Vince!
- All right, all right,

we won't say any more about it.

[sighs]

So, uh...

- Cora's got two kids now, huh?
- Uh-huh, a boy and a girl.

Ah...

Say, she's a year younger than you,
ain't she?

- Vince!
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you have a nice trip?

Yes, and I didn't meet
any fellas on the plane.

- I wasn't even thinking about that.
- Uh-huh.

Hey, look, maybe I'd better go back
to the hotel and freshen up.

- You don't have to.
- What?

Look, sis, I hope you don't mind,

but I knew you'd be kind of
mussed up from the trip,

so I made an appointment for you in town.

- Appointment? Where?
- Madame Claudette's.

Who's Madame Claudette?

She's an old friend of mine.

She used to be a belly dancer.

Then she had this gall bladder operation
and she had to retire.

But she knows all about makeup.

Aw, Vince, what'd you do that for?

Because I knew you wouldn't
have time to do it yourself,

and you want to look good
for the dance tonight, don't you?

You know, you are really something else.

Instead of worrying
about me getting married,

you ought to get married yourself.

You'd make a wonderful mother.

[both laughing]

Yeah, we can do something about that.

Hey, Vince, I thought I was just
coming here to get my hair done.

Excuse us a minute, sis.

[quietly] Now, you're going to
do everything, right?

Eyelashes, and all that kind of stuff?

Yeah, yeah.
And you'll want a wig, won't you?

A wig?

Well, I thought you were
going to do her own hair.

Oh, you can't do anything with that.

Don't even start.
I'll get you something nice.

Well...

It's only a few bucks, Vince,
if that's what's worrying you.

No, no, go ahead. I'm gonna go for broke.

Good.

Now, about the facial.

Would you prefer to have the regular
cosmetic cream or the apricot milk?

For her, what do you suggest?

For her, apricot milk.

- Apricot milk?
- Yeah, it's my own formula.

I got it from a skin doctor
I used to go with.

Is it extra?

Just $1 .50.

Okay, throw it in.

What do you think, Claudette?

You can level with me.

I'm gonna do the best I can.

Okay, kid, you're going to get the works.

Eyelashes, wig, everything.

Gee, Vince, it sounds like
you're going to an awful lot of expense.

What expense?
Honey, you're my baby sister.

When do I ever get to do anything for you?

I know, but I don't think I'd feel right.
False eyelashes, a wig...

Honey, times change,

and fashions change,
and you gotta change with 'em. Right?

Oh, yes!

Honey, there's such a new look
in the world today, you can't believe it.

You see, the whole idea
is to enhance your basic beauty.

You hear that? She's gonna enhance ya.

Now, come on,
it's a present from your big brother.

- All right, Vince, if it'll please you.
- It will, it will.

And it'll please you too.
Just wait and see.

I want nothing but the best for my sister.

In fact, throw in
another shot of that apricot milk.

- I'll pay for it.
- You got it, Vince.

I guess that's all we need to know.
I'll go get things started.

- She'll be ready in about two hours.
- [Carter] Good!

I'll pick you up about 4:00.

- Oh, uh, Claudette...
- Yes?

When I get back,
you better point her out to me.

I might not recognize her! [chuckles]

How much longer
you think she's gonna take?

Just as soon as she gets into the dress
I picked out for her.

What dress?

I hope you don't mind, Vince,
but I took the liberty

of picking out a dress for her to wear,

'cause her own clothes just won't
go with that terrific that makeup job.

Well, how much is it gonna run?

Very cheap, Vince.

You can rent it for five dollars, and the
reason I'm letting you have it so cheap

is 'cause there's a little cigarette hole
down at the bottom of the hem.

But you won't see it, 'cause
it's in the black part of the stripe.

Okay. Fine.

Tell me... how does she look?

You'll be so happy.

She's Très chic.

- That's French, ain't it?
- Yeah.

I'm glad I brought her to you.

You should be.

You ready, honey?

Hey, will you look at that!

Now, that's what I call class.

Aw, ain't she a knockout?

- See what I mean about the dress?
- Oh, yeah, yeah!

Well, Muriel, what do you think, honey?

Gee, Vince, I appreciate
what you're trying to do for me,

honest I do,
but I just don't feel right like this.

Oh, you don't know
what you're talking about.

I think you look great!

Wait till the guys
back at the dance see you!

They'll eat their hearts out.
Every one of 'em.

I don't think so.

How do you know what guys are gonna think?
I'm a guy and I know.

I say you look terrific.

If you looked this way a few years ago,
you'd have one kid more than Cora by now.

Thanks a lot, Claudette.

You really did a great job for us.

Oh, you're welcome, Vince.

- Bye. Have fun!
- Bye-bye.

Oh, by the way, if she smokes,
tell her to watch the ashes!

[sighs]

Hello, Gomer.

- Gomer, it's me.
- Muriel?

Won't you come in?

Thank you.

I... I hope I'm not too early.

It's... it's still a little bit
before 7:00.

Oh, that's all right. I'm ready.

You are?

Fine.

Uh...

You look... real nice.

Thank you.

Very stylish.

Thank you.

Oh, I brought you a corsage.

Oh, how sweet.

Oh, it's beautiful.

It's a white orchid.

Uh, the man at the flower shop said
that it'd stay fresh, you know,

if you keep it in the refrigerator.

They don't have one in this room.

Oh.

You got something in your eye?

Oh, it's just my eyelashes.

[sniffles and sighs]

Well, shall we go?

Might as well.

- Muriel...
- Hmm?

I... I just got to talk to you.

Oh, what is it, Gomer?

Well, could we sit down for a minute?

Sure.

What in the world
have you done to yourself?

You don't like it, do you?

Well, you just don't look
like yourself at all.

- Well, I don't like it either.
- Then why...?

It was Vince's idea.
He wanted me to look glamorous.

- Huh! Yeah.
- I don't understand that.

I don't understand that at all.

To me, you looked fine the way you were.

I'm afraid Vince didn't think so.

I don't see why.
There's all kinds of looks and tastes,

and the way that a brother
looks at his sister

is entirely different
than the way other fellers do.

To me, you're a very attractive girl.

Really? You mean that?

Well, I wouldn't say it if I didn't.

Oh, thank you, Gomer! [laughs]

Now listen, why don't we see about
getting you back the way you was?

[upbeat music playing]

- Hiya, Slater.
- Oh, hi, Sarge.

I thought you were busy
making the rounds.

Oh, I am. I just popped in
for a couple of minutes.

Where's Harriet?

Harriet?

- She got the mumps.
- Oh, really?

- Yeah.
- That's strange.

Charlie Hacker told me he was
just on his way over to pick her up.

- Look, Sarge...
- You outsmarted yourself, Slater.

You could a had yourself a goddess,
and how do you end up?

Here alone on the stag line...

just like Napoleon.

A lonely little corporal
on a lonely little island!

Eat your heart out!

What are you talking about, Sarge?

I'm talking about how Pyle
is bringing my sister to the dance.

But not the sister you saw in that picture
wearing that dumb hat.

An angel.

Stay away from her, Slater.

She'll break your heart!

- Look, Sarge, I hope you're not sore...
- Sore?

Why should I be sore?

Maybe later in the evening,
you'll be a little sore at yourself,

but I ain't sore.

Sore at myself? What do you mean?

Nothing, Slater, nothing.
I think I've said too much already.

So long... loser!

I just know you're gonna
enjoy the orchestra.

- It's Nick Pellico and the Pellicans.
- Oh, I'm sure I'll enjoy them.

Nick plays the drums and leads
the orchestra all at the same time,

- and that ain't easy. Hey, Chester.
- Hi, Gomer.

- Tickets?
- Uh, yeah, sure thing.

Oh, golly, I must have
left 'em in my locker.

Well, if it was up to me,
I'd let you go in, but I gotta keep count.

Oh, I understand.

Would you excuse me? It won't take me
but a minute to go back and get 'em.

- Yeah.
- Chester, is it all right

if this lady waits inside?

- She's Sergeant Carter's sister.
- Oh, sure, sure.

Look, I don't mind waiting out here,
Gomer.

No, I don't want you to miss
any of that good music.

You go in there and watch Nick.
I'll be back in a jiffy.

- Sarge?
- Yeah?

Did Gomer and your sister ever show up?

Oh... you're getting a little impatient

to see what you passed up, huh, Slater?

- Well, I was just a little curious...
- Sure, you're curious. So am I.

I'm curious to see the look on your face
when she walks through that door.

So, you're gonna stand right here
by my side. [chuckles]

Gee, Sarge, she looked better
in that picture with the dumb hat.

- Muriel!
- Oh, hi, Vince.

What did you do to yourself?
What did you do?

Oh, look, I know you had your heart set
on making me look glamorous,

but Gomer thought, and I agree,
that I didn't look right.

Pyle thought!
Who told you Pyle could think?

You were a doll!
You were... you were Très chic!

- Oh, now, Vince, I...
- Where is he?

- He just went back to the barracks to...
- Stay here!

- I'll be right back!
- Vince!

- Oh, good evening, Sergeant.
- Don't good evening me, you clown!

You had to come along
and spoil everything, didn't ya?

- Beg your pardon?
- Don't give me that innocent look.

Who told you
you could fool around with my sister?

- Fool around?
- You know what I mean.

It cost me a fortune to get her glamorous,

and you came along and wrecked her!

- But, Sergeant, I...
- Who gave you the right

to judge what's chic and what ain't?

Well, nobody, Sergeant. Nobody at all.

Then what right do you have to come along
and spoil all my good plans for her?

You made me a laughing stock,
Pyle, a laughing stock!

Sergeant, maybe I ain't
got a right to speak,

but, well, I think I know how you feel,

and, well, I know
how you worry about your sister.

Who worries about her?

Well, you must worry about her a little,

like taking her over to Madame Claudette's
and doing all them things.

- That was very thoughtful.
- Yeah! And you loused it up!

But, Sergeant,

there are some girls,
and, well, your sister's one of 'em,

who look good just the way they are.

Well, maybe they ain't
what you'd call glamorous,

but, well,
they're pretty and they're nice.

Are you trying to tell me
about my own sister?

No, Sergeant.
I'm just saying Muriel's a person,

and she's got a right to be
what she wants to be.

And I kinda think you're trying
to make her into what you want her to be.

And, with all due respect, Sergeant,

she just don't want to be that.

Now, is it all right if I go in?
'Cause Muriel's waiting on me.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Muriel.

Oh hi, Gomer. Is everything all right?

Everything's just fine.

Uh, you didn't happen
to run into my brother, did you?

Well, as a matter of fact, I did.

[gasps] Ooh, was there any trouble?
He went out of here pretty mad.

Well, I know, but we talked about that,

and, well, I kinda hope he sees things
a little differently now.

[band strikes up a lively tune]

Miss Carter, may I have this dance?

Certainly.

[inaudible]

See, Sergeant, she's having a good time.
You want to know why?

On account of she's being herself.

I still say a little eye makeup
wouldn't hurt.

- Sergeant Carter?
- Yeah, what is it, Pyle?

Well, this letter just arrived for you.

- It's from your sister.
- Oh!

It got mixed up
with the other mail at mail Cali

and I thought I better
bring it on over here to you.

- Well, thanks.
- What'd she say, Sergeant?

Did she have a nice trip back?

Say, how about that!

Some interesting news, Sergeant?

Yeah, very interesting.

Muriel's dating.

Nothing steady yet,

but she's dating.

He's a guy that works
at her place with her.

He's a... an accountant.

- Well, that's just wonderful, Sergeant.
- Yeah!

You're liable to be going home
to a wedding one of these days.

Could be. You never know.

You sure don't.
We'll just keep our fingers crossed.

Well, I'll see ya later, Sergeant.

- Oh, Pyle...
- Yes, sir?

I want to thank you for being so nice
to Muriel when she was here.

Oh, it was my pleasure.
I enjoyed being with her.

Well, I still think it was nice,

and I want to give you something
to show my appreciation.

- That ain't necessary, Sergeant.
- I want to.

You did something for me,
now I want to do something for you.

Here, I already paid for this.

Maybe your girlfriend can use it.