All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S05E24 The Short Voyage Home 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

Boy, these monthly reports,
they can drive you out of your mind.

Yeah. I'm getting so used to doing
everything in triplicate,

I'm afraid to get married and have kids.

Funny. I'll laugh later.

Right now, I've got too much work to do.

Excuse me, Sergeant. Are you busy?

No, Pyle. All these papers are here

because I want to fold them up
and make paper airplanes out of them.

Of course I'm busy!

But it's important. It's real important.

All right, Pyle. What is it?

Well, I've got a whole lot
of accumulated leave coming,

and I'd like a week starting right now.

Are you kidding, with all we've got to do?

You've got your nerve, Pyle.
It's out of the question.

- But Sergeant...
- I said forget it.

But Sergeant, something come up,
and I just got to have that leave.

Well, don't bother me.
Go talk to the chaplain.

Well, all right, Sergeant.

It's just that me and my cousin Goober
got a chance to buy this gas station,

and I was gonna go back home
and give him the money.

If I've got a good business to go back to,

I might decide to get out of the Marines
when my hitch is up.

But if you won't give me the pass,

I got to figure it's for the best,
and that's the way fate willed it.

And I'll just go ahead and stay
in the Marines, like I'd planned to.

Thanks again, Sergeant.

Slater, did he just...?

Pyle!

Pyle!

Pyle!

Where were you running off to? [chuckles]

Well, you said you was busy, Sergeant.

And maybe it's just as well. Maybe I
should just stay in the Marine Corps

and forget all about going into business.

Wait a minute.

I didn't know it was something important
like a filling station.

You see, Pyle, you have a habit

of running the important things together
with the dumb things.

Uh... Slater, get out of here.

Pyle, sit down.

There you go.

Now, tell me all about
what you're going to do

when you get out of the Marines.

Well, there's this gas station
on the Main Road

right outside of Mayberry,
only it don't do much business,

'cause Old Man Murdoch's
kind of let it run down.

- Mr. Murdoch, he's the owner.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

He's lost a lot of business on account of
he's mean-tempered and stingy.

He won't give the kids free air
for their bicycles

or schedules
to the high school football games,

so naturally the kids tell their parents,

so the parents don't buy any gas
from Mr. Murdoch.

Oh, well, I don't blame 'em.

So now Mr. Murdoch wants to sell it,

and Goober and me
think we can really make a go of it,

'cause it's an ideal location.

Yeah?

Only Mr. Murdoch won't go through
with the deal unless we pay cash.

That's the way he is, you know.

So I was going to withdraw all my savings
and head on back home,

- and that's what I needed the leave for.
- Then by all means, you should have it.

Will seven days be enough? You need ten?

Well, no. I think seven would be enough.

Three days by bus going
and three days coming back,

and one for the transaction.

Good. Go get packed,
get your money out of the bank,

and I'll have your leave papers all ready.

Well, thank you, Sergeant.
I can't tell you how grateful I am.

Fine. Now go, Pyle.
You don't want to miss that bus.

Well, I'll be back soon, Sergeant.

- And thanks again.
- Go, Pyle.

Go, go, go, go.

All of it? Sixteen hundred and 82 dollars?

You mean, you want to take all of it out?

Yes, ma'am.

But you'll lose three months' interest.

Sixteen dollars and 82 cents.

I know, ma'am. But it's real important.

Do you really think it's wise
to put all of your cash in a business?

I just read that this year there have been
more bankruptcies than ever before.

Well, we hope to make a go of it.

That's the way it always is.

One goes in with such high hopes,

and so often the hopes are dashed.

Now, on the other hand,
a savings account is eternal.

Won't you think about it, Gomer, please?

Well, me and Goober really have
our hearts set on a gas station.

[she sighs]

Sixteen hundred and 82 dollars in gas.

And with all this talk
about electric cars!

[chatter outside]

What's all that commotion in the barracks?

It's like bees around honey.

Some of the guys found out
that Gomer's got $1,600 in his kick.

So?

Well, if I know Gomer,
he won't have it very long.

What are you talking about?

Well, all the guys
are hitting him with sob stories.

And Gomer's such a soft touch
anyway, Sarge.

By the time they get through with him,
they'll have all his money,

and he can say goodbye
to that gas station.

Pyle! Pyle!

[all clamoring]

All right, you guys, out. Out! Out!

Get out, you bunch of crummy deadbeats.
Out! Get out of here. Come on.

Move. Out! Out!

Get out of here!

Pyle, have you still got
all of your money?

Yes, sir. But you know, Sergeant,
a lot of those fellers

need that money a lot worse than I do.

Pyle, if you gave them all your money,
what would happen to your gas station?

Think of what you're jeopardizing.

Yes, sir, I know.
But when a feller comes to you

and needs braces
for his girlfriend's teeth,

or money to make his motorcycle payment,

it just makes you feel that a gas station
ain't that important.

- It can wait another hitch.
- [gasps]

Don't say that.

Do you know how often opportunity knocks?

Once.

And think of your cousin Goober.
What about him?

Is Hennison's motorcycle payment

more important
than your own flesh and blood?

Now, think, Pyle, think.

No, Sergeant.
But when somebody comes to you in need,

it's just kind of hard to turn 'em down.

Turn 'em down. Turn 'em down.

Now, when are you leaving?

- In about an hour.
- Good. I'll have your leave papers ready.

And don't talk to anybody
before you leave, understand? Anybody.

- Sergeant, but I don't think...
- You see, you're talking, Pyle.

I said anybody.

[door slams]

Pyle's leave papers
are ready for your signature, Sarge.

[cackling] And I am ready
to sign them, Slater.

I am ready to sign them.

Sergeant Carter, I'm ready to leave now.

Ah, Pyle.

We were just talking about you.

Your leave papers are all ready.

- Here, file this, Slater.
- Well, thank you, Sergeant.

Now, remember what I told you, Pyle.

I want to see you do well on the outside.

You owe it to yourself.

You owe it to Goober.

You owe it to me.

Well, I'll sure do my best, Sergeant.

Good. Now, you go on that bus,
you keep that money in your pocket,

and you don't talk to strangers,
no matter what.

Right, Sergeant. I'll see you. Bye, Duke.

Have a good trip, Gome.

Good luck, Mr. Businessman.

[laughing]

[men clamoring]

What's that?

Sounds like the vultures are back.

Boy, they're determined to get that dough
out of Gomer before he leaves.

Pyle! Pyle!

It was nice of you to bring me
all the way down here, Sergeant,

but I don't really think it was necessary.

Well, I do. I had to get you away
from them buzzards.

Oh, they's just trying to be nice.

They just wanted to drive me
down here to the bus station.

Uh-huh.

Did you ever stop to figure out
why they were being so nice?

Would you make him out

a round trip bus ticket
to Mayberry, North Carolina, please?

I beg your pardon, Sergeant.
Is that your jeep parked right out front?

- Yes, sir, it is.
- I'm afraid you'll have to move it.

- It's parked in a loading zone.
- Well, we'll just be here a minute.

Look, Sarge.
I'm trying to give you a break.

If you don't move it,
I'm going to have to give you a ticket.

Okay, okay.

- Pyle, where's your bus fare money?
- Right here in my pocket.

Okay. Now buy your ticket,
don't talk to no strangers,

and keep that 1,600 bucks in your pocket.

I'll be right with you, Officer.

Remember, the only way
you're going to get that gas station

when you get out of the Corps
is to be careful, you got that?

- Yes, sir.
- Okay. I'll be right back.

Young man, can I see you for a minute?

- Me?
- Yes, you.

- Over here.
- Yes, sir. Just a moment.

Yes.

What can I do for you, sir?

There's just one little word
I'd like to say to you.

- Sir?
- Chinchilla.

- Chinchilla?
- Precisely.

What?

Now you look like
a very enterprising young man.

Tell me... [clears throat]

...how much longer do you have
in the Marine Corps?

Well, it's funny you'd ask me that,

'cause I'm going to be
getting out real soon.

Good. Do you have any plans?

Well, yes, sir.

I was on my way back to Mayberry now
to see about a gas station.

How many pumps?

- There's two.
- How would you like four?

Four pumps?

I can put you in four pumps
inside of a month.

Are you in the gas station business?

Oh, my. No. No. Chinchillas.

Raising them. Big money in it.

One month in the chinchilla business,

and you'll have four pumps,
maybe even a grease pit.

Well, I don't know nothing
about raising chinchillas.

Ah, but that's the lovely part of it.
You don't have to.

The chinchillas know.

You mean there's nothing to it?

Nothing.
Again, the magic word... chinchilla.

Go-o-Olly!

Four pumps
would be a whole lot better than two.

Goober'd really like that.
What do I have to do?

Well, it just so happens that in my car
I have two furry little money-makers

that can be the beginning
of an empire, my boy.

The beginning of an empire. Come along.

Pyle! Where you going?

We're going outside
to see some chinchillas.

You're what?

Sergeant, perhaps
I could interest you in...

In the chinchilla racket?

Chinchilla business, Sergeant.

Look, buddy. I don't know what's going on,

but if you don't get out of here,
I'm going to call the cops.

Now, wait a minute...

[yelling] Police!

Goodbye, gentlemen.

Sergeant, you know
what that feller told me?

He said I could make enough in a month
raising chinchillas

to buy two extra pumps and a grease pit.

Pyle, you idiot!
Don't you know a con when you see one?

Well, he was taking me outside to show me
those two furry little money-makers.

He was taking you outside
to hit you on the head

and take your 1,600 bucks!
That's what he was doing.

Go-o-Olly!

[announcer] First call.
Transcontinental bus number three,

leaving for Barstow, Needles,
Albuquerque, and points east.

That's my bus.
I guess I better get going, Sergeant.

It's really too bad
about that chinchilla feller, though,

'cause I really like animals.

All right, Pyle.

I guess I'm going to have to
take you out to the bus

and put you on it personally.

Well, it really ain't necessary, Sergeant.

Ain't necessary?
Pyle, you're a sitting duck.

[yelling] You're walking around
with 1,600 bucks in your pocket!

Shh! Come on.

- Sergeant, I really...
- [grunting] Oh, excuse me, Marine.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, Chester.

You ought to look where you're going.
Are you all right, young man?

Yes, ma'am. I'm fine.

Oh, my son is so careless.

He's always bumping into people.
As a matter of fact,

we're on our way to see a specialist
to cure him of bumping into people.

Pyle, will you come on?
We ain't got much time.

Right, Sergeant. Goodbye, ma'am.

And I hope the operation
turns out all right.

Ohh! Another second,
and I would have had it.

Well, you're just not as fast
as you used to be, Mother.

Don't ever say that!
I've still got the touch.

There's $1,600 going on that bus,
and we're going to get it.

[chatter]

[driver] Thank you. Thank you.

- Thank you. Ticket, please.
- I ain't a passenger.

- I'm just seeing my friend here off.
- Yes, sir.

Sergeant, I'll be all right.
Really I will.

Well, it don't hurt to make sure.
Now, let's find you a good seat.

Well, here's one.

Huh? Not there, Pyle.

That guy's got shifty eyes.

There. Sit down there.

Sergeant,
you're just too suspicious of people.

Well, you have to be when
you're carrying that much money on you.

Oh, hello, young man.

My, what a surprise.
We're traveling together.

Yes, ma'am. Guess so.

- Chester, here are two seats.
- Yes, Mother.

Ah, you're in luck
sitting in front of them.

They're the only two honest-looking people
on the bus.

Here, here's your magazines.

- Thank you, Sergeant. Let me pay you.
- No, no.

Keep that wallet in your pocket.

Now, look, Pyle.

I've got to leave you now.

So remember,
don't be your usual friendly self.

Just bury your face
in one of them magazines

and keep it there until you get
to Mayberry, North Carolina.

But Sergeant, Mayberry's a three-day trip.

Huh? Well, all right.

If you got to talk to somebody,

maybe just talk
to that nice lady and her son.

Well, I got to get back to the base now.
I'll see you, Pyle.

Bye, Sergeant.

- Is that seat taken, Marine?
- Yes, it is.

Why'd you do that, Sergeant?

I didn't like his looks.

He looked too suspicious.

He didn't look suspicious to me.

Well, naturally.

No one does to you.

Frankenstein could sit down beside you,

and you'd invite him home to dinner.

- Excuse me, sir.
- Yeah?

I'm wondering if I could ask you
to do me a little favor.

What is it, Sergeant?

Well, one of my men here
is making a cross-country bus trip.

He's carrying
an awful lot of money on him.

He's going back to his hometown
to buy a filling station,

and I was wondering if, well,

you would sit down here beside him
and sort of keep an eye on things.

You know, all the dishonest people
we got around these days,

you can't be too careful.
You know what I mean?

Certainly, Sergeant.
I'd be more than happy to sit with him.

Well, thank you, sir.
I certainly do appreciate that, sir.

Well, goodbye, Pyle.

Bye, Sergeant.

- Hello, Harry.
- Hello, Lieutenant.

Okay, Harry. On your feet.

Put your hands up there.

Now to the front.

Good luck with the gas station, Marine.

- Nice to have met you, Sergeant.
- Yeah.

Uh... What is this? Who is he?
What did he do?

You name it, Sergeant, he's done it.

I'm going with you, Pyle.

- All the way to Mayberry?
- Just the first stop or two.

Sergeant, it's not that
I don't enjoy your company,

- but I don't really think it's necessary.
- Shut up, Pyle, and read.

Would you like a magazine, Sergeant?

No, Pyle.
For me, there's a much more important job.

What are you going to do, Sergeant?

I'm going to watch, Pyle.
I'm going to watch.

[snoring]

[driver] Pleasantville.

Fifteen-minute rest stop. Next stop...

- Sergeant? Sergeant Carter?
- Huh?

We're at Pleasantville.
Are you gonna get off here?

Well... I don't know. I'll see.

I think I will.
I'd like to stretch my legs a little.

Well, I'll go too.

If you'd like, ma'am,
I'll bring you a cup of coffee

so you don't have to get out.

Well, thank you, son, but I'd like
to get a little exercise myself.

Darn! I almost had it.

All I needed was a couple more seconds
before we got here.

What are you talking about?

Look.

Somebody's gonna see that.

- But what are we going to do?
- The only thing we can do.

Lift it in the diner
before somebody else notices it. Come on.

No, no, Pyle. I'll get it.

I don't want you flashing your wallet.

Okay, Sergeant.

- Excuse me.
- Sorry.

- That's all right.
- Oh, Chester. You did it again!

Oh, I'm sorry, young man.

- But you know about my son.
- Yes, ma'am.

I understand.

- Excuse me.
- [chuckles]

- Pyle, where is your wallet?
- Well, it's right here...

Huh? Huh?

- It's gone, Sergeant!
- Of course it's gone.

It was sticking so far out of your pocket

that a baby could have come along
and grabbed it.

You took it?

Just to show you that you don't even know
how to put the dumb thing in your pocket.

All right. I got it,

and I'm going to keep it,
and I am going with you.

[Gomer] But Sergeant...

Pyle, don't you realize
what is at stake here?

Don't you know
how important this wallet is,

and what it represents?

Dreams. Your dreams.

Goober's dreams. My dreams.

Uh... hopes.

For your future.

Sergeant, I know all that, and I really
will be more careful. There's no...

Well, forget it, Pyle.
I'm going with you, and that's that.

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, Sergeant.

That's all right, Madam.

Come on, Pyle. Let's get on the bus.

- See you on the bus.
- Bye-bye.

Sergeant, I still don't know
how my pocket got unbuttoned.

That's your trouble, Pyle.
You never know what you do.

See, it's a good thing I came along.

Now at least you know your wallet's safe.

That's right, Sergeant.
And I sure do appreciate it.

Come on, fellas. Let's go.

Wait a minute, driver.

That little old lady and her son
ain't on yet.

Well, they're not
going any further, buddy.

- Oh, are you sure?
- Yeah. I just talked to them.

They're getting off here.
Come on, let's go.

[driver] Barstow, Barstow, 20-minute stop.

I still don't understand
why that little old lady and her son

got off at the last stop.

Well, they probably live
out in the country someplace.

Forget about them
and worry about yourself.

Well, I'll be all right, Sergeant. Honest.

And you don't have to
go any further with me.

- I didn't expect you to go this far.
- I had to, Pyle.

- I want to protect you.
- But Sergeant, I'll be all right.

Honest I will. Now that I know
what you was worried about,

I'll really watch it.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, sir.

If you'll just give me back my wallet now,
you can head on back to the base,

and I wanna thank you again
for all your protection.

Okay, Pyle. Here's your wallet.

Something wrong, Sergeant?

You're all flushed, Sergeant. Are you ill?

Pyle, your wallet... It's gone!

- It's gone?
- Yeah.

It's lost. We lost the wallet!

Has anybody here found a wallet?

It had $1,600 in it.
It was the young man's life savings.

He was gonna buy
a filling station with it,

in Mayberry, North Carolina.

Look, sir, sir, and ma'am.
Hey, anybody, everybody!

We lost a wallet.

- Sergeant!
- Don't panic, Pyle. Don't panic!

- Where do you think you lost it?
- Lost it?

I didn't lose it.
Somebody stole it from me.

Somebody lifted it right out of my pocket.

- Really?
- That's right.

A pickpocket.

Now all we gotta do is retrace our steps
to figure out exactly where it happened.

Now, let's see.

Who was riding behind us on that bus?

Oh, yeah. I remember.
The little old lady and her son.

No, Sergeant.
They didn't get back on at the diner.

- That's where I give you the wallet.
- The diner. Right.

That's the last place we saw the wallet.

When I lifted it off of you after
the little old lady's son bumped into you.

Yeah, the poor thing.

Then you put it in your pocket,

- and you went over to pay the check.
- Right.

I was paying the check,
you were standing right beside me,

and the little old lady bumped into me.

The little old lady bumped into me!

Pyle, it was them! Come on.

Taxi!

Taxi!

Taxi!

Taxi!

- Where's the driver?
- Where we going, Sergeant?

Back to Pleasantville.

Maybe they'll still be there waiting
for another bus. It's our only chance.

Don't worry, Pyle.
I'll get your money back for you.

Taxi!

- Sergeant, I was just thinking.
- Huh?

Well, you know what they say.

Maybe this whole thing's
just a blessing in disguise.

What?

Well, if I don't have a business
to go home to,

then I won't get out of the Marines
when my hitch is up,

and we'll still be together
maybe for always.

Taxi!

- Taxi! Taxi!
- Sorry, bud. Got to go out on a call.

But we got to get to Pleasantville
right away.

Yeah? Well, that's just where I'm going.
Got to pick up a fare. Hop in.

[car starting]

Driver, stop!

Pyle, look.

Is that the fare you're picking up?

I guess so. They said it would be
a lady and a young man.

They want me to take them
all the way to Las Vegas.

They must be rolling in dough.

Get down, Pyle.
Pull up in front of the diner.

- What?
- Just do as I tell you.

I'll explain later.

Las Vegas, mack, and make it fast.

All right. This is it. Hold it, lady.

- Goodbye, Mother.
- Pyle, get her son!

Chester! Chester!

Shame, shame, shame.

Hold it, lady.

Fourteen, 15, 1,600.

It's all here, every dollar of it.

Good. All right, you two, in the car.

We'll contact you
when the case comes to court.

[car starting]

Hard to believe that a nice mother and son
like that could go so wrong.

Well, maybe you'll learn now, Pyle,
you cannot be too careful.

Hey, buddy. How about my fare?

- Well, I'll take care of it.
- Oh, let me handle it.

It's the least I can do.

What's the matter, Sergeant?

My wallet. It's gone!

That little old lady!

When we were talking to the sheriff,
she must have lifted it.

Sheriff! Sheriff!

Sheriff!

[chuckling]

The way I got it figured,
Pyle is halfway across Arizona,

closer, ever closer,
to that beautiful little gas station,

further, ever further, out of my life.

I'll tell you one thing, Sarge.

It's not everybody that would go this far
just to get rid of a guy.

Slater, I was willing to cross country,
any country,

to get rid of Pyle.

Don't you realize what this means to me?

Freedom!

Once Pyle buys that gas station,
he's gone, Slater, gone.

[laughing]

Sur-prise, sur-prise, sur-prise!

Pyle, what are you doing here?

You're just pulling into Flagstaff.

Sergeant, after you left me,
I got on the bus,

and I headed for Mayberry,
and I started thinking.

What kind of thinking?

Well, soul-searching,
Sergeant, soul-searching.

Mostly about you.

- Me?
- Yes, sir.

When I realized what you was doing for me
and how you'd been protecting me,

and you kept me from losing that money,
I realized, as close as I am to Goober,

and even though he is my cousin,

he could never give me
the kind of protection you give me

right here in the Marine Corps.

What are you saying, Pyle?

Well, as soon as I realized all that,

I got off the bus there at Barstow
and I called up Goober

and I told him if he wanted
that gas station,

just go right ahead and buy it.

- You mean...?
- That's right, Sergeant.

I'm back.