All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S05E22 Gomer Tends a Sick Kat 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

Hey, Duke. I was just down at the cleaners
and your pants was ready,

so I brought them back.

Oh, thanks, Gomer.
Here, I'll take them.

Hey, Duke. Is something wrong
with Sergeant Carter?

Why, didn't he yell at you today?

No. On the way back from the cleaners,
I saw him going into sick bay.

Oh, yeah.
He said he was going to stop by.

Something about a pain in his side.

Well, that sounds serious.

You don't think it could be his appendix,
do you?

No, he went over to Bunny's last night
for their weekly Mexican dinner:

liverwurst tacos, refried beans,
and a butterscotch ice cream soda.

Well, that must be it.

With all due respect,

I've had Miss Bunny's beans,
and they're not too good.

[phone rings]

- I'll see you later.
- Sure, Gome.

Company B, Corporal Slater.

Duke, this is Bunny. Is Vince there?

No, he's not, Bunny. He went over
to sick call a little while ago.

"Sick call"? Is anything wrong with him?

Nah, I think it was just
a little indigestion.

Oh, probably something he ate.

Yeah. You want me to have him call you?

Oh, would you please, Duke,
as soon as he gets back.

- And tell him it's important.
- Okay, Bun.

Hold on just a second. He just walked in.
Sarge, it's Bunny.

- Oh.
- What happened at sick bay?

The doctor asked me
if I'd ever had the pain before.

I said, "Yeah, last week
after I ate at Bunny's."

So what'd the doctor say?

He said, "Well, you got it again."

Hello, Bunny?

Vince? Duke said you were at sick call.
You okay?

Yeah, it was just
a little pain in my side.

Well, it's not your appendix, is it?

No, he said if it was my appendix,
I'd know it.

Just a case of wait and see. What's up?

Vince, it's terrible.
I just don't know what to do.

About what?

Boots, he's had another relapse.
I don't know if he's going to make it.

Oh, really?

Well, look at it this way,
he's lived a good life,

but when it's time, it's time.

Who is it, Sarge? Anybody close?

- Her cat.
- Her cat?

Uh, yeah, I'm still here, Bun.

Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am.

I knew you'd understand.

That's why I was sure you
wouldn't be mad

that I have to break our date tonight.

Break our date? What for?

Well, Vince,
I can't leave Boots at a time like this.

Who said anything about leaving?

I'll come over, we'll sit, talk...

You know, watch Boots.

Oh, Vince, I just couldn't.
I mean, I'd be bad company.

Okay, okay, stay with Boots.

And let me know how he's getting along.

I mean, call me if there's any change
in his condition.

You really want me to?

Sure. Call me the minute there's a change.

Oh, thanks, Vince. You're a sweet guy.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye, Bun.

- [slams receiver]
- That crummy cat!

Huh? You just sounded so interested.

What interested? This is
the fifth time he's done this to me!

- He hates me!
- The cat?

Yeah, Boots.
You'd think he was out to get me.

This sick thing
is just the latest gimmick.

He's pulled all kinds of stuff
before this.

He used to just sit there
and stare at me all night.

- You mean he really ain't sick?
- No, I told you.

He ain't sick, he's jealous.

How come Bunny doesn't
know he ain't sick?

She takes him to the vet, doesn't she?

He must have the vet fooled, too.

Hey, Sarge. Maybe Boots
and the vet are in cahoots.

Yeah, that's it.

The vet tells Boots to act sick,

then tells Bunny
that Boots is on his way out,

then after you leave, the vet sneaks up
to Bunny's apartment and...

Slater! The vet
is Bunny's sister-in-law.

She's 56-years-old
and hates that cat as much as I do.

Oh. Boy, that's a bad cat, Sarge.

Why do you want her
to think you like it?

Look, Slater, when you've been around
as long as I have,

you realize that the best way
to handle dames

is to make them think
you're going along with them.

Yeah, good thinking, Sarge.

So look, the next time she calls,
if I ain't here, act like you care.

As if we've talked it over.

Be sad. Lay it on.

Okay, Sarge.
Uh, how long is this going to go on?

I'll guarantee you, Slater, the second
I don't show up for two days,

that cat is going to have
a miraculous recovery.

- [phone rings]
- Company B, Corporal Slater.

No, he's not, Bunny.
He's out checking on the guys.

Oh, yeah, the sarge mentioned it
when he got back from sick call.

Oh, really? What'd the doctor say?

No kidding.

Gee, I didn't realize it was that serious.

Hold on, Bunny,
maybe I'd better get him.

I'll be right back, Gomer.

Hello, Miss Bunny? This is Gomer.

Oh. Hi, Gomer.

Excuse me for butting in like this, but I
couldn't help overhearing the bad news.

Oh, yes, Gomer. Isn't it awful?

I guess so, but to be truthful,
I don't know too much about it.

Well, that's the trouble, Gomer,
no one does.

The doctor says it's really
just a matter of time.

Golly.

Well, that's terrible, Miss Bunny.

I know, but he's been
through this before, you know.

No, I didn't know.

What really scares me
is there's so little we can do,

except follow the doctor's instructions.

Well, what did the doctor say?

Just to be sure
and make him comfortable

and keep him inside as much as possible.

You mean he's not even allowed to go out?

Well, no. And there's nothing he enjoys
more than that car and a drive.

And now the doctor
says he can't even do that.

That's just terrible, Miss Bunny.

And then there are the things
like seeing he keeps warm,

and above all,
he's not supposed to get wet.

Well, who else knows about this?

Just Duke, you, and the doctor.
Oh, and of course, Vince.

Oh, he's been just marvelous
through this whole thing.

He's a tower of strength, Gomer,
a real Rock of Gibraltar.

I know, Miss Bunny, I know.

Gomer, would you take a look outside
and see if Duke's found him yet?

Well, all right.
But don't you worry about a thing.

Everything's going to turn out just fine.
Just hold on.

Pyle, why don't you watch
where you're going?!

What are you trying to do, kill me?!

- Oh, no!
- [groans]

Hey, Duke, could I talk to you outside
for just a minute?

- Sure, Gome.
- Hello, Bun. What's up?

I just talked to Miss Bunny, and,
well, she told me what the doctor said.

- Yeah.
- Well, it's just awful.

We gotta do something.

No, Gome, you stay out of it.

Bunny's the one that's closest to this
whole thing, so you let her handle it.

And don't say anything to the Sarge,
cause it gets him upset.

But, Duke, it's a matter
of life and death.

That's one of the reasons the sarge
doesn't want to talk about it.

Pyle, what are you doing?

Hmm? Oh, I was just sweeping.

No, Pyle, you're leaning.

If you were sweeping,
the broom would be moving.

Yes, sir.

You want me to get you
another cup of coffee, Sergeant?

No, thanks, Pyle.
That was the last cup.

Don't say that, Sergeant.

What'd you mean? The pot's empty.

Oh. Well, I was just noticing,

you don't have an extra blanket
on your bunk.

Would you like me to get you one?

No, thanks, Pyle. I only use one.

Well, what with the cold
we've been having at night,

- I just thought that you might like...
- Pyle, I don't need another blanket!

Now, will you get out
of here and let me work?

Yes, sir.

- Sergeant?
- What, Pyle?

Do you happen to be going
into town tonight?

I guess you want a ride, huh?

Okay, meet me at the flagpole at 1900.

Oh. Well, no thank you, Sergeant.

I can't be ready that early.

Sergeant?

DO you think you'll be taking
a shower before you leave?

Get out, Pyle.

Hey, Sarge, can I borrow
your copy of Fun Girl?

- Why?
- Well, I got MP duty

over at headquarters tonight,
and I need something to keep me company.

- Okay. Don't lose my place.
- Thanks, Sarge.

- Where are you going?
- Into town.

I thought Bunny was sitting up
with her sick cat?

She is. I'm playing pinochle
with the guys tonight.

If you want me, you can get me over
at Bill Persky's until midnight.

Right, Sarge.

[engine starts]

[engine revs]

[engine revs]

- Get me the MPs!
- I am the MPs.

Okay. I want to report two stolen wheels!

- What?
- You heard me.

Somebody stole my two rear wheels!

- The whole wheels?
- The whole wheels!

They jacked up the rear of my car
and stole both of them.

Okay, Sarge, but it sounds awful crazy.

You want to go over
to headquarters with me?

Okay, I'll fill out a report.

Hey, Sarge, I just thought of something.

If somebody were to swipe your wheels,
why didn't they take all four of them?

How do I know?
Maybe they just need two.

Yeah. I'll tell them to look
for a guy with a motorcycle.

Move it, Slater!

[snoring]

[alarm rings]

Hmm?

[alarm stops]

[moans]

[exhales]

[grunting]

[panting]

Slater!

Slater!

[groans]

[water slows]

[water stops]

[shower running]

[door slams]

[water stops]

[moans]

[groans]

[phone rings]

Hello?

[Gomer] Hello. Miss Bunny?
Well, this is Gomer.

I was just wondering, have you heard
anything else from that doctor?

No, I haven't, Gomer.

You mean, they haven't
got any idea what it is yet?

Well, they have their theories, but
the way he used to run around at night,

there's no telling
what he might have picked up.

He just doesn't seem
to be getting any better.

Well, is there anything...?

Well, there's got
to be something we can do.

Well, no. The doctor seems
to feel the best thing

we can do is keep everything
as normal as possible.

As a matter of fact,
if I have time this afternoon,

I'm going to try
and get him a new ball.

- A new ball?
- Uh-huh, with a bell in it.

The old one disappeared.

Oh? Well, what did he do with it?

We played catch. It's marvelous exercise.

Oh. Well, I didn't know
he liked to do that.

Well, you're never around
when we're alone.

Oh, I know it sounds crazy, Gomer.

It's the kind of thing a kitten
would like, but not when you're his age.

Well, if he really likes it,
then he should have a new ball.

Exactly, Gomer.

Little things become very important
when you're not well.

Like a game of catch,
or... or a cup of warm milk.

Just simple, everyday things.

Golly, Miss Bunny,
I don't know what to say.

Well, just knowing how much you care
means a great deal, Gomer.

I'll call you if I hear anything more.

Well, thank you, and don't you worry.
Everything's gonna be just fine.

It's just got to be. Well, bye.

- Slater?
- Yeah, Sarge.

How'd that get there?

- It's a cup of milk.
- I know what it is.

- How did it get there?!
- Gosh, I don't know, Sarge.

It wasn't there when we left.

Hey, it's warm.

See, it's got skin on it.

I'm being sandbagged, Slater.

I don't know who, and I don't know why,
but I'm being sandbagged!

What makes you think that?

Did you ever see me drink warm milk
out of a cup?

No, but I remember one night in Tijuana
when you drank beer out of one of those...

Slater!

Well, who ever heard of sandbagging a guy
with a cup of milk?

The same guy that tried
to cook me this morning,

that kept me from taking a shower,
and then stole my valves!

You know, Sarge, the pressure
of day-to-day command responsibility

- can sometimes make a guy... well...
- Slater!

But certainly not in your case, Sarge.

Look, I'm not going off my rocker.
How about last night with my wheels?

Well, yeah, I guess...

And waking up this morning
wrapped like a mummy!

I'm telling you, Slater, there's some
strange things going on around here.

[bell tinkling]

[bell tinkling]

It's a ball.

[bell tinkling]

With a bell in it.

Where'd it come from?

- From the bottom of Meyer's Lake.
- Huh?

It belongs to Boots.

- You mean Bunny's cat?
- Yeah.

One night last week I was over at Bunny's,

and the cat was bugging me,
so I stole his ball,

and on the way home,
I flung it in Meyer's Lake.

You stole a ball from a cat?

I told you, he was bugging me.

- Don't you have anything to do?
- [phone rings]

Company B. Sergeant Carter.

Vince? It's Boots.
I think it's about over.

He's dying?

No, the crisis is over.
He seems to be getting better.

[stifled whimper]

Gee, ain't that swell.

Oh, I tell you, Vince,
he really had me going there for a while.

Yeah, but the little son of a gun
always seems to pull out

at the last minute, don't he?
[weak laugh]

Isn't it wonderful?
He's got his appetite back.

Why, he drank two cups of milk.

And remember his little red ball
that disappeared?

- The one with the bell in it?
- Uh-huh.

Well, I got him another one,
and he's been playing with it all day.

Vince?

- Vince, are you there?
- Huh? Uh, yeah.

Would you please tell Gomer
that Boots is all right?

- Pyle?
- Uh-huh. Oh, he's been so concerned.

He must've called two
or three times every day.

Pyle called? Why would Pyle call?

Well, to see if he could do anything.

Oh, he's been just wonderful
through this whole thing.

Listen, Bunny, when Pyle called, did you
tell him what you told me just now,

about the ball and the milk?

Yeah, Vince. Why?

Look, Bun, I got to go now.
I'll call you later, okay?

Well, sure,
but am I gonna see you tonight?

I'll call you later. Bye, Bun.

- That nitwit.
- Bunny?

- No! Pyle!
- What did he do now?

I finally figured out what's going on.

Nobody's sandbagging me.
It's that stupid Pyle!

What are you talking about, Sarge?

For some reason, don't ask me why,

Mr. Butinksi has got me
and that stupid cat, Boots, mixed up.

He thinks I'm dying!

Well, how could he make
a mistake like that?

Two reasons--
he's stupid, and he's nosy.

Okay. Okay.

I'll teach him a lesson
he'll never forget.

What are you gonna do, Sarge?

In a half an hour,
you tell him I want to see him.

Pyle thinks he's got a dying sergeant?

Well, I'm gonna give him one!

Sergeant?
Duke said you wanted to see me.

Yeah, Pyle. [coughs weakly]

I wanted to see you one last time.

One last time?

Sit down, Pyle.

Here, next to me.

Are you there?

I'm right here, Sergeant.
Can't you see me?

You... fade in and out, Pyle.

You... fade in and out.

Turn on the light, will you?

- It's-It's on, Sergeant.
- Thank you.

Sergeant, let me call
a hospital right away.

No. No, Pyle.

By the time you get back,
I may not be here.

Well, there must be something I can do.

Can I make you more comfortable?

Let me take your boots off.

No, Pyle.

I want to go with them on.

Don't say that, Sergeant!

Look, Pyle, I want you
to do something for me.

Anything, Sergeant, just anything.

In my footlocker, there's a will.

Except for a few personal things

that go to Mom,

it's all yours.

Oh, no, Sergeant, I couldn't.

Believe me, Pyle,
you deserve everything you're getting.

- Sergeant, what can I say?
- Nothing, Pyle.

Just do me one more favor.

Call Bunny and tell her
I won't be able to make it tonight.

I'll call her right now, Sergeant.

But first...

my helmet.

Put it on.

No, Pyle. On me.

Oh. I'm sorry, Sergeant.

[sighs weakly]

[thwack and grunt]

Thanks, Pyle.

Sit me up.

But, Sergeant,
you shouldn't be sitting up.

Up, Pyle, up.

Pyle...

Atten-hut!

Goodbye... Gomer.

Sergeant! Sergeant!

Operator, get me the hospital.

[laughing]

- Sarge, you all right?
- Huh? Oh.

[laughing]

You should have been here.

He went for it hook, line and sinker.

I was beautiful. Beautiful!

Sarge, I still don't think you should have
done it. It was a pretty mean trick.

[grunts]

Sarge, are you sure you're all right?

Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was just laughing so hard,
I got a pain in my side.

[laughs, groans]

I got to get dressed
and get this place straightened up

before he brings anybody back here.
They'll think he's nuts.

[grunts]

- Sarge, why don't we let him off the hook?
- Ooh.

Sarge, what's wrong?

I told you, I got a pain in my side
from laughing so hard,

and I can't straighten up.

Get out of here
before he gets back, will you?

[siren wailing]

Oh, Duke, thank goodness you're here.
The sergeant's awful sick.

Gomer, I'm beginning
to think you're right.

The ambulance. Duke, got meet them.

No, Slater. Send them away.

- Hurry, Duke!
- Slater!

Well, you stay here. I'll go.

Slater, get rid of them. I ain't sick.
They'll think I'm nuts.

Hey, Doctor, it's right back here.
Right in here.

Right over there.

What seems to be wrong, Sergeant?

- Nothing, sir. I just got a cramp.
- Where?

Well, it's in my right side.
It's nothing really.

- Have you had it before?
- A couple of times,

but it always goes away.

You feel a little warm.
Are you nauseous?

Well, yeah, a little,
but I've been laughing a lot.

[laughs, grunts]

Does this hurt?

[yells, gasping]

Doctor, believe me...

Lie there and be quiet,
Sergeant, that's an order.

Sir, do you know what's wrong with him?

Well, I can't be sure, Corporal,

but it looks like he's about
to lose his appendix.

You didn't call us a moment too soon.

Tell the ambulance driver
we need a stretcher in here.

- Yes, sir.
- [whimpers]

- I sure am glad I called the ambulance.
- I am, too.

Do you think he'll be all right?

Gomer, as long as you're around,
he'll be fine.

Let's face it, Sarge, if it wasn't
for Pyle, you'd be in a lot of trouble.

- Yeah.
- I still think it's a pretty

rotten trick to play on a guy.

All right, Slater, all right.

I mean, you know
how Pyle feels about you.

I know, Slater, I know.

He idolizes you.

Why, he thinks about you
like most guys think about their father,

and now, you even owe him your life.

Slater, you made your point.

- Hey, Sergeant.
- [Carter] Pyle.

- Hey, Duke.
- [Duke] Hey, Gome.

Well, I got to go back to work.
I'll see you guys later.

- Yeah, see you, Slater.
- Bye, Duke.

- How are you feeling, Sergeant?
- [sighs] Fine, Pyle.

The nurse said you're good as new,

and you'll be out of here
by day after tomorrow.

Yeah. Uh, look, Pyle,
I want to tell you something,

uh, about what you did. I mean...

You don't have to say nothing, Sergeant.

No, Pyle, I-I want to.
I want to say...

But I know how you feel, Sergeant.

Maybe so, but I just want to say...

Honest, Sergeant, I'm just glad
we got you here in time.

- That's why I want to say...
- But you don't have to, Sergeant.

- I'd do anything for you.
- Pyle, will you shut up

and let me thank you?! Can't you tell
when somebody's trying to be sincere?

You talk and talk and talk... [grunts]

- Are you all right, Sergeant?
- [groans]