All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S05E21 Gomer Maneuvers 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

[Carter] Now, we'll be stationed
right here in this area,

about 200 yards behind the front lines.

Now, we'll be up close because we're going
to be the scouting platoon.

I want you people to remember that
the enemy is Headquarters Company,

a bunch of office clerks
and maintenance people,

so there shouldn't be one chance
in a million of them beating us,

like they did last year.

Now, also, I want you to remember
that certain members of this platoon

had better be on their toes,
and not goof things up.

- Do you hear me, Pyle?
- Oh, yes, sir, Sergeant.

- I hear you clearly.
- What did I say?

You said certain members of this platoon

better be on their toes
and not goof things up.

I'm talking about you, Pyle!

- Oh, you are?
- That's right, so pay attention.

Now, we will assemble
in the morning at 0300,

march to the maneuver area
and set up our bivouac.

Now, I need not tell you
that anything that you've heard

in this barracks is absolute secret!

Okay, Vince, what do you say? You want to
make it the same as last year? 25 bucks?

Why? What are you going to do?
Have them file clerks

tie us up with typewriter ribbon?
[laughs]

I think you're scared, Vince,
'cause we got brains on our side,

and brains will beat muscle
any day of the week.

Oh, really?

Well, I'll tell you what
I'm going to do, Hacker.

If you got the guts,
I'll make that bet an even $50.

- What do you say to that?
- It's a bet.

Okay. And, after I win,
I'm going to buy you a beer

just to show you
there's no hard feelings.

[laughs]

Just remember what I said, pal.
Brains over muscle anytime.

Well, I'll be seeing you, Vince,
right in the middle of my gun sight.

[laughs]

[mocking laugh, scoffs]

- Well, here he is, Sarge.
- Oh, thanks, Nelson.

That will be all for now.
You fellas can take a break.

- Hiya, Pyle.
- Sergeant Hacker.

I just thought you might be interested
in seeing some of the stuff

I'm making for maneuvers tomorrow.

Golly! Sure smells good.

Yeah. Lamb stew for tomorrow night.

Hee...

Chicken for the next night.

Well, it sounds like an awful lot of food.

Well, I got to feed all you guys, don't I?

An army travels on its stomach, you know.

[laughs] That's right, I guess.

Yeah. Come on over here, Pyle.

- Try one of those.
- Well, thank you.

How is it?

Delicious. Absolutely delicious!

[laughs] Well, well, well, well.

Well, I suppose you got your boots
and long underwear all packed, huh?

It'll probably be pretty damp
down in that low ground

where you'll be tomorrow.

- Oh, we're not going to be on low ground.
- You're not?

I thought you guys were going to be down
in that south sector near the marsh.

Oh, no. We're not going
to be down there at all.

Oh, of course. That's right.

Sergeant Fine is going to be down there.

[laughs] I got mixed up.

Try one of these, Pyle.
One of the crumb kind.

Well, I haven't even
finished this one yet.

Ah. Well, then take your time.
Eat slow. Enjoy yourself.

As a matter of fact, why don't you come on
over here, sit down, and relax?

Well, thank you.

Well, you fellas will be up
in the hills tomorrow then, huh?

Actually, Sergeant Hacker,
I'm not supposed to tell you

where we gonna be.
Sergeant Carter says it's a secret.

And he's right. He is absolutely right.

I mean, if you start
giving away things like that,

then what's the use
of having maneuvers, right?

[laughs] Try one of these.
One of the chocolate ones.

I don't know whether I can or not.
Chocolate is my favorite.

[Hacker] Oh, take it.

[laughs] I'll tell you this.

I don't envy you fellas
carrying all that radio equipment

up into the hills tomorrow.

Hmm? What radio equipment?

Well, you're in Communications,
aren't you?

- No. Scouting.
- Oh.

Wait a minute.

I just wanted to make sure
that nobody was listening.

We can't be too careful, you know, Pyle.

- That's right.
- Maybe we ought to whisper.

So, uh, you're in Scouting, huh?

Well, that means you'll be
about 200 yards behind the lines.

- How did you know that?
- It's my job to know.

You see, my only problem is, Pyle,

I gotta deliver your food
out there tomorrow,

and I don't want
to leave it out in the sun.

If there was only some shade nearby...

There's some trees close by.

Oh, yeah? You mean that big bunch
of big oak trees, right?

No, I think they're sycamores.

Oh, you'll be near
that grove of sycamore trees.

Fine. Well, that's where
I'll leave the food, then.

Right under them sycamores.

- How are the tents coming, Slater?
- Almost ready, Sarge.

Well, hurry it up, will you?
We were supposed to be set up by 0400.

I ought to have my scouting parties
out by now.

Hey, Duke, when is Sergeant Hacker
going to get here?

- I'm kind of getting hungry.
- Hacker? What are you talking about?

Well, ain't he supposed
to bring our breakfast?

Are you kidding?
We got our own mess sergeant, Gomer.

- Hacker's on the other team.
- Huh?

Gomer, Hacker's the enemy.

- Oh, my goodness!
- What's wrong?

Well, I got a feeling there's a chance

Sergeant Hacker might
be showing up here anyway.

How could he?
He don't know where we are.

Yes, he does. I think I told him.

You what?!

Well, we was talking yesterday
in the mess hall,

and he didn't exactly know
where to bring our food,

- so I thought...
- No!

Sarge, I got something to tell you!

Pick up the tents! Pick up the tents!

Pick up the tents!

Pack up the whole platoon,
march four miles,

unpack the whole platoon.

We've lost over an hour, Pyle,

and we traded a good position
for a rotten position.

And it's all your fault, because you
couldn't keep your big mouth shut!

Well, I'm sorry as I can be, Sergeant.

Okay. One more goof,
and back you go to the base!

And you're out of the maneuvers!

I won't make any more mistakes.

Believe me, Sergeant, I'm going
to be as careful as I can be.

[metallic clang, carter screams]

Shazam!

Hey, Duke. Hey, Duke.

- Over here.
- What's up?

Look.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised
if that wasn't Sergeant Hacker's platoon.

Why?

Well, he said they was going
to be having Iamb stew tonight,

and I'm almost positive
that's Iamb stew they got cooking.

- Are you sure?
- Well, yeah.

You see, the sergeant uses
a little garlic and some bay leaf.

Sometimes,
I think he uses too much bay leaf.

Good work, Gomer. Boy, the sarge is really
going to be happy with you.

You sure about this?
You actually saw the tents?

Yeah, Sarge. Well, Gomer saw them first,
and then he showed them to me.

- How do you know it's Hacker?
- Gomer smelled their cooking.

[Gomer] You see, Sergeant Hacker
said they was having Iamb stew

the first night,
and I smelled Iamb stew cooking.

And there's no mistake,
cause Sergeant Hacker

uses garlic and a little bay leaf.

Yeah, yeah.

Gomer's got a nose
just like a bird dog, Sarge.

Yeah, and a brain like one, too.

Get the squad leaders together
and bring them here.

We'll work out our plans down
to the last detail,

and surprise them
at the first crack of dawn.

[chuckling]

They're still in their sacks.
What a surprise they're going to get.

Now, I want this thing
to go off like clockwork.

You all know your assignments.

Slater goes in from the south,
Johnson from the northwest,

Smith from the east behind them tress.

Let's check our watches.

I got 0601, coming up on 30 seconds.

Mark.

Now, as soon as you get to your positions,
you give this signal:

[double note whistle]

At 0608, I'll give this signal:

[triple note whistle]

And then we go in.

And just remember one thing:
stay away from that big tent.

That's Hacker, and he's all mine!

All right, all you guys except Pyle
get to your positions. Good luck.

Pyle, I'm keeping you with me
so I can keep an eye on you.

This is a 50-buck attack,
and I don't want you fouling it up.

Yes, sir.

[double note whistle]

[double note whistle]

Right on the nose.

Four, three, two, one.

[triple note whistle]

Let's go, Pyle!

[Carter] Boys, go get 'em!

Cover me, Pyle.
I'm going to get Hacker.

[laughs] All right,
get out of that sack, you big ape!

We've got you surrounded!

- I'm sorry, ma'am.
- What is this?

What are you doing here,
coming into my tent like that?!

What are you, a maniac?!

I'm sorry, ma'am.
I guess we made a mistake.

It's just that...
well, your tent-- it looks just like...

Army surplus! What is going on?!

Sarge, these are Girl Scouts!
This is a Girl Scout camp!

I'm terribly sorry, ma'am.

It's all a mistake,
and I know whose fault it was.

Pyle, you knucklehead!

[all yelling]

I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm terribly sorry.

Pyle, I'm telling you...!

I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry.

Garlic and a little bay leaf, huh?

Garlic and a little bay leaf.

Pyle, do you know
what you've done to me?

Well, Sarge, all I can figure
is that lady must cook Iamb stew

just like Sergeant Hacker does.

Maybe they got a hold of the same recipe.

Pyle, I don't care how she cooks.

What I'm saying is,
you completely fouled up these maneuvers!

First, you let Hacker
get our location out of you,

and now you get me in a spot

that could make me the laughingstock
of the Marine Corps.

- Well, Sergeant, I...
- What do you suppose he's going to do

if he finds out about this?

Well, I'd never tell him.

He'll give you a couple of cookies
and you'll spill your guts!

Sergeant, I wish there was something
I could say to make you feel better.

- Pyle, you are an albatross!
- An albatross?

Yeah. One of them big ugly birds that
follows people around bringing doom!

That's what you been doing to me
for the last five years:

following me around dooming me!

- If there's anything I can do, Sergeant...
- There is, Pyle.

You can get your stuff together,
get out of here, and get back to the base!

- You mean I'm out of the maneuvers?
- That's right, Pyle. You're out!

Now, beat it before you
pull some other stupid stunt

and completely lose the exercise for us.

- How will I get back?
- You can fly, Pyle.

You're an albatross. Remember?

Miss Beasterfeldt, we're hungry!

Keep calm, girls. I'm working on it.

Are you having trouble, ma'am?

Oh, you startled me.

You're not one of those men who came
into our camp this morning, are you?

Yes, ma'am. I'm Gomer Pyle.

You probably heard my name mentioned.
The sergeant repeated it several times.

- What seems to be the matter?
- I'm having trouble with the car.

It stopped and it just won't start again.

Well, let me have a look.
I used to work in a filling station.

Oh, here's your trouble, ma'am.

One of the wires came loose
from the distributor there.

Let me put it back on.

It should work all right now.
Why don't you get in and try it.

There we go.

- [engine starts]
- [cheering]

- Well, thank you very, very much.
- You're very welcome, ma'am.

And I'm awful sorry about what happened
this morning. It was all my fault.

Oh, no, no, it was partly mine.

An officer came by later and said
we were camped in the wrong place.

It was a maneuver area.

So we're moving,
just over that hill over there.

Can we give you a lift?

Well, no, thank you, ma'am.
I'm going the other way.

I see. Well, thanks again.

Oh, if you happen to come by the camp,
do stop in for a cup of coffee.

Well, thank you, ma'am,
but I don't think I'll be able to.

Well, goodbye.

[kids] Bye!

Bye!

Bye!

Bye!

All right, hold it right there
and put up your hands.

Well, Sergeant Hacker.

Well, well, well, if it ain't Gomer Pyle.
I'm real happy to see you, Pyle.

Because you're my first prisoner.

Prisoner? But I can't be no prisoner.

- See, I'm on my way...
- Never mind that.

Just start walking this way.
I'm taking you back to camp.

All right, keep them up there, Pyle.

Gomer Pyle, PFC 2252594.

Come on, Pyle, you might as well talk.
We'll get it out of you sooner or later.

Yeah, and we'll keep you right here
until we do.

Gomer Pyle, PFC 2252594.
And that's all I'm gonna say.

Furthermore, I'm still angry with you,
Sergeant Hacker.

Oh, yeah? Why is that, Pyle?

Well, because of that mean trick
you played on me.

And I ain't gonna let it happen again.

Fool me once, shame on you,
fool me twice, shame on me.

What are you talking about, Pyle?
You were pretty tricky yourself.

I mean, we went over to where you
said you'd be and you weren't there.

I ought be sore at you, don't you think?

Gomer Pyle, PFC 2252594.

And that's all I'm gonna say.

I don't care how many doughnuts
and cookies you give me.

I'm locking my lips
and throwing away the key.

Step outside a minute, will you, Nelson?

Sarge... you're not gonna be able
to get anything out of him.

- Why don't you forget it?
- Listen, I know this guy.

I know how his mind works.
If you can call it a mind.

- And I got kind of an angle.
- What is it?

I'll tell you later, if it works.

Now you stay here,
I want to take a crack at him alone, okay?

Right.

Pyle, I want to apologize to you.

I mean, that was a pretty dirty trick
I played on you the other day,

and I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?

I just want to tell you why I did that.

I want to explain something to you,
man-to-man.

So you'll know and understand, okay?

You know how long I been
in the Marines, Pyle?

18 years, next month.
18 years in the kitchen.

[chuckles] Oh, sure,
I'm a good cook, as cooks go.

You are, Sergeant.

I mean, your bacon's always nice and crisp

and I've never tasted better
lemon cupcakes.

Thanks, Pyle.

But how much military satisfaction
can you get out of a cupcake?

I mean, when my kids come to me and say,
"Dad, what did you do in the service?"

What am I gonna tell 'em?
I made great cupcakes?

Well, Sergeant, I really think
you can take pride...

I'm sitting out on the porch
in that old rocking chair,

what am I gonna use for memories

to give me that nice, warm feeling
in my last years, huh, Pyle, huh?

Well, I don't know.

It's something that would mean
that much to a guy like Carter

or most of the other sergeants,

but to me, it'd make
my whole life worthwhile.

Do you understand, Pyle?

Well, I think I do.

I mean, it's in your power
to make or break a man's whole life.

Ah, I know it's a lot to ask,

but at this point, Pyle,
I don't mind telling you,

I'm just a little bit desperate.

Sergeant Hacker...

You're not crying, are you?

No, it's all right.
I'll be okay in a minute.

Okay, Pyle, what's your answer?

- What do you mean?
- Will you help me?

Will you tell me where your platoon is?

- Gomer Pyle, PFC 225...
- Okay, Pyle!

That's way you want it, huh?!
You play tough, we'll play tough!

Nelson! You sit right there, Pyle.

- He wouldn't crack, huh?
- No.

Here's what I want you to do.

A couple of hours from now
just before it gets dark,

I want you to move him
into the tent right next to mine.

But before you put him in there, I want
you to slit the back of the tent, huh?

- About this much, you got it?
- But he'll get out, Sarge.

Yeah, and as soon as he does,
you let me know and we'll follow him.

I get it, I get it. He'll head straight
for Carter, we'll be right behind him.

Oh, you're pretty smart, Sarge.

How do you think I got these stripes,
baking lemon cupcakes? [laughs]

- Sarge, wake up.
- Huh? Hey, Nelson...

- Pyle escaped?
- No, no.

- Just stay right where you are, Sarge.
- What happened?

You remember that hole we put
in the back of Pyle's tent?

- Yeah.
- He sewed it up.

He what?!

He must've had a sewing kit in his pack.

Why, that stupid knucklehead.

I know it's hard to believe.
I couldn't believe it myself.

How can you outsmart a guy
that has no brains?

Pyle, don't you know the first duty
of a captured Marine is to escape?

Well, I suppose I do.

Well, I certainly hope
if you get another chance to escape,

you'll take it
and get right back to our outfit.

- Well, I can't do that.
- Why can't you?

Sergeant Carter won't let me.

See, he's kinda angry with me
about something I did.

And he was sending me back to the base.
I'm not in the games anymore.

[stammering] He can't do that.

- He can't?
- Why, no.

Article 24, section three:

"A man cannot be sent back from battle
lines for making a little mistake."

Why, Carter actually violated regulations.

If the referees find out about this,
he could lose the whole exercise.

Golly, I sure wouldn't
want that to happen.

Well, neither would I.

I mean, I want to win,
but not on a technicality.

I'll tell you what, Pyle, here.

Why don't you take all your equipment
and get right back to your outfit

before anybody finds out about it.

Now, if you hurry, you'll probably be back
in time for breakfast.

- [laughs]
- Well, all right.

But I'd just like to say one thing,
Sergeant Hacker.

You're a real nice fella,
and I really appreciate it.

Oh, forget it, Pyle.
After all, what's fair is fair.

[laughs] Nelson! Whoo-hoo!

Nelson!

Round up the guys. I just conned
the boob into taking us to Carter.

- No!
- Yeah.

I'll go in close,
you guys come in from behind.

And we'll keep in touch
on the walkie-talkie.

- Go. [laughs]
- Right, Sarge.

He's about 50 yards ahead of me,
heading southwest.

Do you have me in sight?

Affirmative. Stick with him, Sarge.

For goodness sakes.

Hello down there!

I think this it, Nelson. Get over here.

Come on, let's go.

Hello!

Hey, there's Gomer going
down that hill over there.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

And there's somebody behind him.

It's Hacker... and his whole platoon.

Come on, let's go tell the sarge.

Miss Beasterfeldt!
Miss Beasterfeldt, it's me, Gomer.

Gomer! So you did come by.
Come in and have some coffee.

Don't mind if I do.

He just went into Carter's tent.
We're moving in, boys.

But lay off Carter, he's mine.

Okay, Carter, come on out of there!

It's all over, and you owe me 50 bucks,
you big, dumb...

- Oh, oh, oh, I... I'm sorry, ma'am.
- Now, listen.

I'm getting sick of these sunrise raids.

These girls have a right
to their sleep, and so do I.

That officer told me it was all right
for us to be here.

Girls, start packing, we're moving.

You'll hear from me.
I'm gonna write to Washington about this.

- But... but... but...
- Pyle! What are you doing here?

What's going on? Where are the other guys?
Where's Carter?

Here I am, Hacker, right behind you.
We got you surrounded.

[Carter laughing]

- Pretty, clever, Vince. Pretty clever.
- Huh?

Having the dumbest guy in the Marine Corps
eat my cookies,

sew up my tent and lead me into a trap.
Oh, pretty clever!

You know what we call that, Hacker?
Strategy, just plain strategy.

[laughs] Right, Pyle?

You mean you really
weren't angry with me, Sergeant?

And when you sent me back,

you knew all the time I was gonna
get captured and refuse to escape,

and then lead Sergeant Hacker and his men

down here to Miss Beasterfeldt
and the girls?

Golly, that is strategy!

Yeah... yeah, yeah.

[laughing]

- Hiya, Vince.
- Well, well, well.

If it ain't the "Cupcake Commando."

Okay, let's have it.
One lost maneuvers, 50 bucks.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [laughing]

- Ten, 20, 30, 40, 50.
- Oh...

- [Gomer] Sergeant Carter?
- What is it, Pyle?

You remember Miss Beasterfeldt, don't you?

Huh? Oh, yeah. Hi there.

- Sergeant Carter, Sergeant Hacker.
- How do you do, gentlemen?

I just ran into Miss Beasterfeldt
at the PX,

and, well, I was just wondering

if you'd collected the $50
you won on the maneuver.

Yes. Uh, why, Pyle?

Well, I had an idea,
and see if you don't like this.

Uh, since Miss Beasterfeldt and the girls
kind of helped you win that bet,

well, I thought it might be nice if you'd
buy some of their Girl Scout cookies.

Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.

How much are they?

- Just 50 cents a box, Sergeant.
- Oh, fine.

Why don't you and me split a box, Charlie?

Well, actually, Sergeant,
I kind of promised Miss Beasterfeldt

you'd buy enough for both platoons,
which would be about 100 boxes.

100 boxes?

This ought to just about cover it.

Here you are, Pyle.

And there you are, Miss Beasterfeldt.

- [Beasterfeldt] Oh, thank you, Sergeant.
- [Gomer] Golly!

This is just like one of them fairy tales.
It's got a nice happy ending!