All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S04E11 To Watch a Thief 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

Huh? Huh?

- Lovely, isn't it?
- It sure is.

Seventy dollars, huh?

Yes, and that includes the tax.

Well, okay.

But I'll have to come back for it.

I don't have all the money with me
right now.

- All right.
- Don't worry. I won't be long.

Seventy bucks?
That's a pretty expensive present.

Look, I've known Bunny a lot of years.
I can't be chintzy on her birthday.

Besides, I've got a lot of class, Boyle,
and a lot of pride.

- And no money.
- Don't worry. I'll get it. I'll get it.

Easier said than done.

As long as I got buddies,
I can always borrow.

All I got to do is...

Hey, here comes Haskall.

I'll bet ya
he'll come up with what I need.

Hiya, Haskell, old buddy!

Not a penny, Vince, not a penny.

Aw, who needs him?

I got lots of friends on this base,
why, lots of friends.

What kind of friend are you?

Look, Smiley, last month
when you needed 20 bucks,

I gave it to you just like that,
no questions asked, no strings attached.

I gave it to you out of the goodness
of my heart. And now when... Huh?

Same to you, fella.

Look, if you're so desperate for money,

why don't you dig into
your savings account?

What savings account?

You mean to tell me that after all these
years you don't have something put away?

I've got a lot of expenses, Boyle.

I'm taking care of my mother,
paying off her mortgage.

Just last month
I bought her a new septic tank.

- Yeah, Pyle, what do you want?
- Excuse me, Sergeant.

I don't mean to interrupt you, but you
assigned me extra cleaning duties,

- remember?
- Oh.

Oh, okay, get on it.

- Hey, we still haven't tried Hacker.
- Hacker? You're kidding.

Uh, get me Sergeant Hacker.
He's in the mess hall.

I know we don't get along,
but I can handle him.

All it takes is a little smooth talk.

Charlie?

Vince.

How are things
down at the mess hall, buddy?

Hello? Hello?

Strike three and you're out.

This watch is something
I gotta get for Bunny.

- It's the perfect birthday present.
- Excuse me, Sergeant.

Did you say it was Miss Bunny's birthday?

- Yeah, today.
- Well, ain't that nice!

Be sure and wish her
many happy returns of the day for me.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, Sarge, if you don't have the money
to buy her a watch,

why don't you get her some flowers or
something? It's the thought that counts.

No, Boyle.
With me, it's first class or nothing.

Sergeant Carter?

Pyle, I thought you were supposed
to be cleaning up.

I'm sorry, Sergeant,
but I couldn't help overhearing you.

Did you say you don't have any money
to buy Miss Bunny a birthday present?

Yeah. But it doesn't concern you.

Well, I can lend you what you need.

Pyle, what's the matter with you?

You've been in the Marine Corps
long enough

to know that a non-comm can't borrow money
from anybody of a lower rank.

- I could be court-marti a led.
- That's right. I forgot.

It's a shame, though, because I got
some money I could lend you.

Yeah, well, forget it.

I could go over right now
and get it out of my savings.

I said forget it.

Yes, sir.

I've even got some cash on me this minute.
It ain't much, but it might help out.

- Pyle!
- I know.

It's against regulations.

Sergeant, what if I was to accidentally
leave the money on your desk

and you was to accidentally find it?

- Pyle, stop it!
- Yes, sir.

How much money are you talking about?
No, forget it. Forget it!

Well, I guess you'll just have to
forget about the watch.

Yeah.

Man, I tell you,
I can understand what happens

when you pick up a paper and read about
one of them crimes of passion.

A guy can get so desperate for something

that all of a sudden
something in his brain snaps, and pow!

You can't get what you want one way.
So you try another.

You know what you're doing is wrong,
but you do it anyway.

- [gasps]
- Pyle, you're supposed to be working.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible.

- Oh, hello, Sergeant.
- Hi.

- I'm back, just like I said.
- Good.

Uh, I'm afraid I wasn't able
to come up with the whole $70.

Well, that's all right. You can purchase
this on our layaway plan, $14 down.

You got six months to pay off the balance.

Well, I got a counter-offer.

How about nothing down?

Come on now, Sergeant.

Just until payday, and then I'll give you
the whole thing. No six months to pay.

Well, we have to have
some sort of down payment as a binder.

Even a dollar would do it.

You mean for a dollar down
I can take it with me?

Well, no, but we'd put it aside for you.

But I gotta have it tonight!

I'll pay you the whole thing
in a few days.

Come on, it's my girlfriend's birthday.

- Well...
- Please?

Well, it's highly irregular, Sergeant.
And I shouldn't be doing this.

Ah, you're a peach!

- That's a dollar, huh?
- Uh-huh.

Can you lend me seven cents?

Sergeant, if you will just sign
this payment receipt

and fill in your outfit
and commanding officer's name.

Yes, ma'am.

- Shall I gift-wrap this for you?
- Huh?

Oh, no, no. I'll take it just like it is.

I'm gonna give it to my girlfriend
during dinner tonight.

I'm gonna hide it in her salad,
romantic-like.

Oh, that sounds very nice.

I mean, you did say
that's a stainless steel case, didn't you?

Roquefort dressing
won't corrode it or anything?

Oh, no. No, I think it'll be just fine.

Oh, fine ain't the word for this.

Beautiful, just beautiful.
And thanks a million.

Uh-huh.

[phone rings]

Company B, Sergeant Carter.

Oh, yes, sir. The supply requisitions?

Yes, sir. I'll bring them right over.

I'm sorry, Sergeant,
but I got to do this for your own good.

Thank you.

Company B, Sergeant Carter.

Sergeant Carter, uh,
this is Miss Johnson down at the PX.

I... I sold you a watch this morning?

Oh, yes, ma'am. What can I do for you?

Well apparently you were so excited
about your girl's birthday,

you walked away without your watch.

Huh? I did what?

[chuckling] That's right, Sergeant.
You must have left it on the counter.

But that can't be.

Are you sure? Are you sure?

It's the little square one
with the gold band.

Uh-huh. And the inset diamonds.

I'm sure it's your watch, Sergeant.
It's the only one we have like it.

Just a minute. Wait just a minute.

Uh, Miss Johnson?
That's my watch all right.

[chuckling] Well, don't worry
about it, Sergeant. I'll hold it for you.

Uh, yes, ma'am. You do that.
I'll be right down.

He's done it again.

Good morning, Private. May I help you?

No, ma'am.

Thank you, ma'am.

I was just looking. Thank you anyways.

Sergeant Carter?

Corporal Boyle?

[phone rings]

Company B, Sergeant Carter.

Oh, hi, Bunny!

What?

Well, like I said, 7 o'clock.
Is that okay?

Ah, nah, nah, no hints.

You're gonna have to wait
till dinner to find out.

And tonight
we're gonna celebrate in style.

We ain't gonna drink no birthday toast
with just beer.

Tonight we're going all the way,
a bottle of muscatel.

Okay, I'll see you later, baby doll. Bye.

Bunny's just dying to know
what the present is.

Wait till you see it, Boyle.
It'll knock your eyes out.

It's got real diamonds on the face...

Okay, Boyle, what is this,
some kind of gag or something?

What are you talking about?
I just came in, remember?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Boy, if this don't beat everything.
It's gone!

Just like that, just like it had legs.

[phone rings]

Company B, Sergeant Carter.

Hello, Sergeant.

You did it again.

Your watch,
I found it right where you left it.

But that's impossible.

Are you sure?

Maybe some new ones came in
when you were out.

Look, Sergeant, I don't know
if you're playing games with me,

but this is definitely
the watch I sold you.

We won't have another one in
like it for a month.

Well, how about that?

Then I take it
you do want the watch after all?

Oh, yeah, yeah. You kidding?
I'll be right down.

And this time, I'll guard it with my life.

Uh, bye.

Boyle, look at me.

Do I look normal to you?

Not just my face, but the way I've been
acting, the way I've been talking?

- What's going on, Sarge?
- Oh, I'll tell you later.

Right now I'm gonna get the watch.

- I'll be right back.
- [phone rings]

Company B, Corporal Boyle.

Well, yes, sir, he's here. It's
the chaplain. He wants to talk to you.

The chaplain?

I wonder what he wants.

Yes, sir, Chaplain.
This is Sergeant Carter.

Sergeant Carter, how are you?

Well, good, good.

Look, I wonder if you could do me
a rather big favor.

Well, sure, Chaplain, if I can.

Uh, of course, you understand
I spend most of my Sundays off the base.

You can relax, Sergeant.

For once it has nothing to do with trying
to get you to attend one of my services.

Oh.

Oh!

Actually, I'd like to see you in my office
right away, if you can arrange it.

Something's come up,
and I'd like to talk to you about it.

Uh, yes, sir.
See you in about five minutes? Fine, sir.

See you then.

- What does he want?
- Who knows.

One of our ugly ducklings
got himself a little problem, I guess.

And the chaplain
just wants to see the mother hen.

Want me to me pick up that watch for you?

Oh, no! As soon as I'm through
with the chaplain, I'll get it myself.

Hey, Sarge!

Maybe while you're with the chaplain,
you can take the curse off the watch.

You're sure now
that you saw him taking it?

I'm just sick about Sergeant Carter
carrying on like this.

You're absolutely certain now?

You're sure that it wasn't someone else
who took the watch?

Oh, no, sir. It was him all right.

I seen him just as clear as day
both times.

And each time I've seen him,
all I could say was, holy cow!

I mean, just plain cow, sir.

It seems hard to believe
that he'd actually stoop to...

Well, you and I know
that Sergeant Carter is no thief.

Of course he ain't.

Something must be driving him.

I heard him say how desperate he was.

Well, I have no reason
to doubt you, Gomer.

I've never known you to lie.

And I sure never would
when it comes to Sergeant Carter.

I only want to help him.

Very well. Just leave it to me.

Sir, if you don't mind a suggestion,

a little inspiration from the good book
always goes a long way in cases like this.

Thank you.

You might try Chapter 5 of Matthew,
Verse 13.

"You are the salt of the earth.

But if salt loses its strength,
how can it be made salt again?"

Yes, well, thanks for the suggestion.

Or maybe Chapter 6 of Matthew.

"The eye is the lamp of the body.

If your eye is sound,
then your whole body will be light.

But if your eye is unsound,
then your body will be dark."

Yes, well, I know that one also.

That sure ought to ring a bell
with Sergeant Carter,

seeing as how he got into this whole mess
when his eye fell on that watch.

Thank you.
Well, I think you can rest assured

that I'll find the right words
when the time comes.

Another real good one is Luke,
Chapter 8, Verse 17.

"Nothing is sacred
that shall not be made manifest."

Yes.

Or John, Chapter 8, Verse 32.

"The truth shall make you free."

Thank you.

You know what would really be good?

Revelations 6.

Now, as you're well aware,
man is an imperfect animal.

And because he's imperfect,
he must be constantly on guard

against being tempted down the wrong path.

Do you understand
what I'm getting at, Sergeant?

Yes, sir. Oh, yes, sir.

Under certain stress and tension

we're apt to do things
which normally we'd never do at all.

Of course, that doesn't mean
we're beyond redemption.

Oh, of course not, sir.

A person who is basically good can be sure

that the people around him, the people
who admire and respect him...

...will forgive and forget.

- You mean you want to make a withdrawal?
- Yes, ma'am.

Private Gomer Pyle.

Mm-hmm.

I don't mean to be prying,
but what is this for?

Ma'am?

You know we hate to have any of our boys
withdraw a single dime

unless they have a very good reason.

You know what they say
about a penny saved.

Yes, ma'am, I know. But this is important.

I need it for a friend
who's in real trouble.

I see.

Well, that's very loyal.

However, I do feel
that it's my duty to tell you

that you're going to lose
a whole lot of interest.

Please, ma'am, I'm in a real big rush.

Well, it's certainly your decision.

Twenty, 40, 60, 70.

Are you sure
you wouldn't like to discuss this matter

with Mr. Glick, our branch manager?

As the good book says...

"You are the salt of the earth.

But if the salt loses its strength,

how can it be made salt again?"

- Well, I see you're back again.
- Yes, ma'am.

- And I know just what I want.
- Well, good.

That lady's watch right there, the
square one with the little diamonds in it.

Oh, yes. That's a lovely watch.

You're gonna make somebody
very happy with this.

Well, I sure hope so.

And here's your $70, ma'am.
You don't even have to wrap it.

I'll take it just like it is.
And thank you, ma'am.

Or Luke, Chapter 8.

"Nothing is secret
that shall not be made manifest."

You're right, sir.

You do see the wisdom?

Oh, sure. It's as clear as a bell.

- Is that all, sir?
- Yes. Yes.

I think so. Well, I'm certainly glad

we didn't have to get into
the specifics of this little matter.

Oh, me too, sir.

- Thank you for coming by, Sergeant.
- Oh, well, it was all my pleasure, sir.

And thank you for calling me.

What was that all about?

Yes, Sergeant, may I help you?

Uh, well, I'm not sure.

- Is Miss Johnson here?
- No, I'm sorry. She went to lunch.

Oh, well,
she must have put it aside for me.

Put what aside?

A watch for a Sergeant Carter? That's me.
I bought it this morning.

No I don't think so.

At least Miss Johnson
didn't mention it to me.

But she called me.
She distinctly said it was here.

- I left it on the counter.
- I'm sorry.

I know there's nothing in the back.
Unless maybe it's in the case here.

No.

No. Never mind.
Never mind. Just forget it. Forget it.

I know she called me.
I know she called me.

It was the second time she called me.
[mumbling]

I brought the watch back here,
and I put it in the drawer.

And the major calls me,
so I went over there... [mumbling]

- Sarge?
- I came back here.

And Miss Johnson called. She...

- Something wrong?
- Huh?

Oh, never mind.
Just tell me where are the aspirin?

- In your top drawer, I think.
- Okay.

Now leave me in peace. Leave me in peace!

[yells]

What is this?

A watch.

Are you sure?

I mean, I'm not just seeing things?

It does have two little hands
and goes tick-Tock, tick-Tock?

How about feet?

Maybe it has teeny little feet too,

so it can keep finding its way
back from the PX.

[phone rings]

Company B, Corporal Boyle.

Oh, yes, ma'am. Uh, just a second, please.

It's Miss Johnson again over at the PX.
Ten to 1 she's calling

to tell you that she called before
by mistake.

It was someone else's watch all the time.

I'd sure like to think so.

This is Sergeant Carter speaking.

Oh, Sergeant,
I'm so sorry about what happened.

Oh. Yeah?

Well, we all make mistakes.

Well, it was all my fault.

Oh, well, you don't have to apologize.

Well, you see, when I went to lunch,

I forgot completely
about putting your watch aside for you.

My watch?

Yes.
I... I just found out that Mrs. Healy,

she's our other sales clerk,
sold it to someone else while I was gone.

Well, you can't imagine
how badly I felt when I came back

and she told me that a Sergeant Carter
was in asking about his watch.

My... my watch?

She sold my watch to somebody else?

Oh, I'm so sorry, Sergeant.

You just don't know how I feel,

especially since there's no possible way
of getting it back.

Naturally, we'll...
we'll return your deposit.

Uh, Miss Johnson, listen to me.
Stay right where you are.

I'll be right there.

- Now what?
- I'm going over to the PX

to get this whole thing straightened out

before somebody comes here
and throws a net over me.

- Sergeant Carter?
- Not now, Pyle, not now.

Where's Sergeant Carter going
in such a hurry?

- To the PX.
- The PX? With the watch?

Yeah. What do you know about it?

Well, he don't have to. Sergeant Carter!

Sergeant Carter?

Pyle, what do you want?

Well, Sergeant,
I wasn't gonna say anything.

But now I guess I'm gonna have to.

You don't have to return that watch.

- Huh?
- I'm glad you was going to.

Am I ever glad!

But you don't have to return it now
on account it's paid for.

What are you talking about?

It's paid for, and my heart is light.
And that's all I'm gonna say.

Oh, no, it ain't.

You're gonna say a lot more, Pyle,
a lot more!

Please don't make me say any more,
Sergeant.

You won't have to.
Maybe the lady can tell me.

Ma'am, have you ever seen this guy before?

That's him!
That's the one I sold the watch to!

I knew it!
I knew it had to be something crazy.

Why, Pyle, why? Why did you come in
and buy this watch, huh?

Sergeant,
I really don't know how to say this.

Pyle!

Well, I knew how desperate you was.

And I just didn't want to see you
get into any trouble.

- Huh?
- That's right.

I just couldn't stand idly by
and watch you...

I just couldn't stand idly by
and watch you steal it.

What?

The watch, Sergeant. You didn't see me.

But this morning I saw you
when you put it in your pocket.

And, well, that's the reason
that I took it out of your drawer

and I snuck it back
on the counter, like this.

Pyle. Pyle!

I know, Sergeant.
I know what you're gonna say.

I had no right spying on you like that.

But, well, I did it for your own sake.
I really did.

I knew you'd thank me for it later.

You know,
it's like it stays in the good book,

"You are the salt of the earth."
That's Matthew, Chapter 5.

"Salt of the earth..."

The chaplain... You're the one
that had the chaplain call me?

Well, I didn't have anybody else
I could turn to, Sergeant.

You're not angry with me, are you?

Pyle, you knucklehead!
I didn't steal that watch.

I bought it, you hear? I bought it!

You did?

Well, glory be!

Now my heart's lighter than ever.

Why, Sergeant, I should've known

that you never would've done
anything like that.

Ladies, I just can't tell you how happy
I feel right this minute,

because you know who just walked
out that door? The salt of the earth.

- I don't know why...
- The watch! The watch!

Where's the watch?

I'm really sorry, Sergeant.

I should have known you never would
take anything that didn't belong to you.

Pyle, from now on, do me a favor, will ya?

Don't do me any more favors.

- I don't blame you for being mad.
- I'm not mad.

I'm just a little surprised at you.
Would I ever steal anything, Pyle?

Would I?

Well, anyway, forget it.

All I want to do right now
is get this watch over to Bunny's

before anything else happens.

- Are you sure you got it now?
- Oh, don't worry. I got it.

There.

How on earth did you get two watches?

I don't know.

I must have picked this one up
when I went back for Bunny's.

I better get it back right away.

Don't tell the chaplain!
Whatever you do, don't tell the chaplain.