All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S03E17 The Secret Life of Gomer Pyle 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

[music continues]

Oh, now that's right, Eleanor.
You've got the idea.

Good. Oh, yes, lovely, Estelle.

Be careful of your neck now.

Fine.

Gomer. Your rug's going to be just lovely.

- Thank you, Mrs. Whipple.
- Ah-ah-ah.

Now, I've told you, before,
we're on a first-name basis here.

And my name is Clarice.

I'm sorry, I forgot, Clarice.

That's better.

You know, Gomer, when I see
how beautifully you do this,

it just proves to me

that men can be just as
good rug hookers as women.

Well, thank you, ma'am.
But I've done this before.

Grandma taught me how to hook rugs
when I was just a little feller.

Grandma Pyle used to always say,

"Busy fingers stay at home,
haven't got the time to roam."

Oh, that's so true.

Yeah, but she never
could get Grandpa to try it.

He was always roaming.

Is that so?

Gomer, do you think perhaps some
of your pals over at the post

might enjoy joining us some Sunday?

Well, golly. I really don't think so.

I don't see why not.

Do you know that many
top business executives

do this as therapy?

They find there's nothing
better to help them unwind

and soothe their nerves.

Well, I don't think
the fellas at the base would--

I hate to say this, but if they knew
what I was doing,

I think they'd just laugh.

Oh, really?

Oh, that's too bad.

Oh, my, look at the time.
Well, it's time to wrap it up, girls.

Almost four o'clock.

Now, um, I'll see you all next Sunday.

And don't forget to give Irma your quarter
for the lemonade and cookies.

Oh, let me help you, Estelle.

Hey. What about that guy in the sweater?

No, he's too short.
Besides he's not the right type.

- Hey, there's a couple of guys.
- Nah, they're not right either.

Look, I keep telling you
the kind of a guy I want.

A hayseed.
You know, right off the farm.

Um, naive, innocent, you know?

What do you want
a guy like that for, Mike?

Because of the contrast.
Look, don't you understand?

The thing that'll make this work

is a guy that looks like
he doesn't know what's going on.

Hey, hey, look.

Huh, where?

- But he's a Marine.
- So what?

A guy in uniform,
you think he'll want to do this?

Well, we won't tell him
exactly what we're gonna do.

Just leave him to me.

Uh, hey.

Hey, Marine.

How are you?

Uh, my name is Mike Bender.

This is my assistant Wendell.

How are you, kid?

[stammers] Oh, well, fine.
Uh, my name's Gomer Pyle.

No kidding.

Well, I'm pleased to meet you, Gomer.

Look, my friend and I are taking
some pictures down here for a layout.

A picture story, you know what I mean?

Well, no, not exactly.

Well, you see, we want to
show people doing something,

so we take a series
of pictures to illustrate it.

Oh, you mean like in National Geographic
when they show people planting rice

or washing clothes in the river?

Yeah.

Hey, yeah, yeah, that's it.

Only our idea is to show people having fun
in their leisure time.

Well, that should really be good.

And we'd like to have
a fellow just like you.

Yeah, a great big good-looking Marine.

Oh, golly.

You see, we want to show
how a Marine has fun on Sunday.

Well, I don't usually do
very much on Sundays.

Well, that's all right.
You see, we're just gonna kind of pretend.

It's what we call literary license,
you know what I mean?

No.

Oh. I'll tell you what,
don't you worry about it

because it's all good, clean fun.

Now, Gomer, you don't object
to a little good, clean fun, do you?

- Oh, golly, no, I love it.
- Well, that's all that matters.

And besides that, Gomer,
we're gonna give you 20 bucks.

- Oh, well, you don't have to do that.
- Well, why not?

If this idea's accepted,
we can make a few bucks off of it.

Why shouldn't you share in it, too?

Oh, well, I'll be glad to
help you out if you like,

but you don't have to
give me anything for it.

I told you he was the right guy
the minute I laid eyes on him.

Aw

Now, just like
you're catching a beach ball.

You see, when the picture's finished,
there'll be a beach ball in your hands.

There will? How can you do that?

Trick photography, Gomer.

We can do a lot of
things. You'd be surprised.

Hold it.

That's right, just like
you're playing horsie.

- Hold it.
- Well, shouldn't I have a rider?

Don't worry, you'll have a rider.
Now hold it.

[camera clicks]

All right, Gomer,
just like you're playing leapfrog.

Sure seems funny playing leapfrog alone.

You sure you fellas
know what you're doing?

We do, don't worry, Gomer, we do.

Hold it.

[camera clicks]

All right now, in this one,
you're a real happy Marine.

You own the whole beach.
Throw out your arms.

Are you sure this looks
like I'm having fun?

Don't worry, it will
when we finish with it.

Are you gonna put
another ball in my hands?

Yeah, you'll be having a ball. Hold.

Okay, hold it.

[camera clicks]

Perfect!

Well, that was wonderful, Gomer.
We got some real good pictures.

- And you were great, really great.
- Sure, Gomer, thanks a lot.

Yeah, now if you'll just sign this,
everything will be all right.

- Sign that?
- Yeah.

Well, what's it for?

Oh, it's just a release, Gomer,

to give us permission
to use your pictures.

It's just one of those things that's
required if a guy's picture is published.

So people won't think
we're taking advantage them.

- Here sign.
- Well, I sure never would do that.

Yeah, that's good, Gomer.
Now here's your 20 bucks.

Oh, no, I really don't want that.

Come on, take it, you deserve it.

Buy yourself a milkshake.

Well, I just really
wouldn't feel right taking it.

We insist, Gomer, we insist.

- Now take it.
- Well, thank you, fellers.

I wish you a lot of
luck with your pictures.

Well, I guess I'll be going.

Thanks again and I'll see you.

Yeah, so long, Gomer. Good-bye, kid.
And thanks a lot.

Boy, we really got some great stuff.

Listen, what do you think he'll do
when he sees those pictures?

What'll he do?

Look, a guy like that doesn't
even read our magazine.

Besides, even if he does

- It came out pretty good.
- Hey, get this, get this.

Terrific, terrific.

You're a genius, Mike.

What a face.
You see, this guy makes the layout.

You see what I mean?

That innocent kisser and all those dolls.

You know, there's a
million beautiful dames,

but a guy like this is hard to find.

Oh, the boss is gonna love these.
I bet he'll use them in the next issue.

And you know something?
I dreamed up a great title.

"Sunday is fun day."

Hey, Boyle.

Huh? Huh?

Yeah. Nice.

[chuckles]

Here's what it says about her.
She's an attorney.

No kidding.
She can handle any case of mine.

Yeah, mine, too.

[chuckles]

Hey, but, Sarge, let's go get
some breakfast. I'm starved.

Yeah, all right.

Oh, boy.

Look at this.

"Sunday is fun day."

And a Marine, too.

Some guys have all the luck.

You know, when I look
at a magazine like this,

I begin to feel that life
has been very unfair to me.

I mean, all of these
gorgeous dames in the world

and I never get to see any of them.

Then some stupid guy
like this comes along--

[groans] Aah.

No.

It can't be.

It just can't.

Hey, Gomer, look at this.

"Sunday is fun day."

Now there's a way to spend a Sunday, Gome,

playing at the beach
with a dozen beautiful chicks.

- Hey, the guy's a Marine, too.
- A Marine?

[clicks tongue]

Matter of fact, he looks
something like you.

A lot like you.

Exactly like you.

- Gomer!
- What?

This is you!

Why I never!

It is you, isn't it? Isn't it?

No. I mean, yes, but it wasn't like that.

I don't get it, what?

Well, I mean, I was there.

But it was just me.
They said they'd fix them up.

Just to trust them, not to worry.
And this is what they did.

What a mean trick.
What a mean, mean trick.

Gomer, how did you get in this?
Did you know somebody or what?

You don't understand, Duke.

I didn't make those
pictures with those girls.

I don't get it,
you said this was you, didn't ya?

Those girls weren't
there when I made the pictures.

- Huh? Gomer, wait, where are you going?
- To a phone.

I'm gonna call them and give them
a piece of my mind right now.

No, wait, Gomer. Listen,
these girls, did you get their numbers?

Why don't you get in touch with them?
We'll get a couple for tonight? Gomer?

- Sorry, they're not here today.
- Well, where are they?

I want to talk to them right now.

Well, they're out
at the Third Street Beach

shooting pictures. Why?

Who's this?

This is Gomer Pyle,

the Marine they tricked into
being in your magazine this month.

And I've got something
I want to say to them.

They're not gonna
get away with it, no, sirree.

The Third Street Beach, huh?

Well, good-bye.

You know what I think?

This is Pyle's double.

You know they say everybody has somebody
that looks just like them.

Somewhere in the world,
this is the guy that looks like Pyle.

In the Marines?

Another PFC in the Marine Corps
that looks exactly like him?

It's not possible. It's got to be Pyle.

Yeah, but with these dames?

These gorgeous, wild,
wonderful-looking dames?

Listen to what it says.

"Here are some fun girls
cavorting on the beach

with their Sunday companion,
a playful young Marine."

Their Sunday companion? Pyle?

I sure don't get it, but if it is Pyle--

- Yeah, if it is Pyle, what?
- Well, I've said it before.

You never know what
kind of a guy dames go for.

- You never know.
- Oh, come on, Boyle.

There are all kind of tastes, but Pyle?

You never know, you just never know.

Well, I've seen good-looking
dames out with monkeys.

Yeah I know what you mean.

Take me, I mean, I'm a good-looking guy,
yet some dames don't see it.

- What's the matter?
- Nothing. I didn't say anything.

Sergeant Carter?

Oh. Pyle.

I wonder if I could have my pass now.

Your pass now?

Why, it's only 10:15.

You usually don't leave the base
on Sunday until around 1 :00.

I know, Sergeant,

but I've got some urgent business
to take care of, and I have to leave now.

Oh.

Can I have my pass now, please?

Well, yeah, I guess so, Pyle.

Maybe I can give you
a lift where you're going.

I got the jeep outside. I could take you.

No, thank you, Sergeant.

I've got to see some people
and I prefer to see them alone.

Oh. Alone, huh?

So could I have my pass now, please?
I'd like to get started.

Yeah, well, uh There you are, Pyle.

- Have a good time.
- Thank you, and, bye, Sergeant Carter.

- Corporal Boyle.
- Bye, Pyle.

What do you think, Boyle?

Well, those dames said he
was their Sunday companion.

Let's get the jeep.
We're gonna follow him.

But you're sure you got a signed
release from him?

I told you, I got it. It's in my desk.

Well, if you got the release, okay.

But he sure sounded hot over that phone.

- Aw, forget it, what can he do to us?
- What's up?

Oh, that Marine we used.
You know, the cornball.

He saw the magazine, called the office.
He's all shook up.

He's on his way out here.
That's why I came out to warn you.

Look, you go back to the office.
Just leave him to me.

Let's just park right here.
We'll see where he's going.

He's going toward the beach.

Now, look this way, that's it.

Will you get out of there!

Go on!

Now, this is what I have--

Hey, here he comes.

What do we do?

Well, don't panic.

Hey, girls! Come here, will you?

Look, um, you see this Marine
down here coming up the beach?

Huh?

Well, he's got a beef with us and he's
kind of sore, you know what I mean?

So I want you to kind of,
you know, smooth him down.

Take his mind off of it,
be a little nice to him, you know.

Go on, get him.

Oh, oh!

Where is he? Do you see him?

No, not yet.

Oh, oh!

What is it, Sarge?

I don't believe it.

Let me look.

- [Boyle] Oh, my gosh!
- [Carter] Do you believe it?

Do you believe it? The glasses don't lie.

I guess Sunday is just fun day for Gomer.

[girls clamoring]

I can't watch anymore.

It tears me to pieces.

Why don't we go down there
and ask for an introduction?

I mean, Pyle's your boy, isn't he?

No need to keep all
that loveliness to himself.

No, no, no, no, Boyle.

You know, sometimes
you don't use your head.

Look, if we went down there now,
it's obvious we followed him, right?

How else would we know he's here?

Oh, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, we'll get it on, all right.

But we'll do it smooth
and subtle, the Carter way.

The Pyle way
doesn't look too bad from here.

Oh, come on, Boyle. Let's get out of here.

If we stand around here looking,
it'll drive us nuts.

All right, girls.
All right, girls, let him go.

Let him go.

I'm sorry, Pyle, but we
were just having a little fun.

Fun? Well, I want to tell you
one thing, Mr. Bender.

I don't appreciate your sense of humor

and I don't appreciate what you did
with my pictures.

It was a mean, lowdown trick.

Oh, now, look, Pyle--

It was deceitful, that's what it was.

Sham trickery,
just plain out and out lying.

Now look, Pyle--

If you'd told me what you were
going to do with them,

I never would have
consented, but you misled me.

Aw, take it easy, will you, Pyle?
We thought you'd get a kick out of it.

We knew you'd be surprised, but it was
just a good-natured, little joke.

Well, I don't consider it a joke.
I was shocked when I saw those pictures.

I don't think it was funny
one bit and that's what I came

here to tell you,
and there's one more thing.

Here's your $20 back.

It was forced on me
through deceit and trickery

and I don't want anything to do with it.

Oh, come on now, Pyle.

I don't want any part of ill-gotten gain.

My, my, you've accomplished
a lot today, Gomer.

Thank you, Mrs. Whipple.

Oh-oh-oh, Clarice, remember?

I'm sorry. Clarice.

That's better.

You know, you were right
about this being relaxing.

'Cause when I got here this afternoon,
I was terribly upset.

Oh, really, Gomer? What was wrong?

Well, I'd rather not say.

But you know one thing, Miss Clarice?

There's a lot of deceit in this world,
an awful lot.

And that's one of the reasons
I like coming here and hooking rugs.

There's something honest about it.

You know, Gomer, in all my years,
I have never heard that expressed better.

Girls, did you hear what Gomer said?

Oh, he expressed it beautifully.

You wanted to see me, Sergeant Carter?

That's right, Pyle. Come in, come in.

[chuckles]

Did I do something wrong, Sergeant?

No, no, Pyle, you
didn't do anything wrong.

And that's just it.

We don't just call a fella in
when he's done something wrong.

Sometimes we call him in
when he's done something right.

You mean I did something wrong, Sergeant?

No, you did something right.
That's why I called you in.

I did?
What did I do right, Sergeant Carter?

Well, uh well, uh your general attitude.

You have got a terrific general attitude.

- I have?
- Absolutely.

Whatever you do, you stick right with it.

Right or wrong, you stick with it.

And I like that, Pyle.

I like that a lot.

Golly, Sergeant, I think I'm gonna cry.

No, no, Pyle, don't do that.

Just run along, and remember,
it's not all negative here.

We can be positive, too.

Thank you, Sergeant Carter. Thank you.

[sniffs]

I don't understand you, Sarge.

Why don't you just come out and ask him
to introduce you to those dames?

Because that's not the way
you handle a guy like Pyle.

A guy like Pyle is
delicate, like a butterfly.

You got to creep up on him in easy steps.

Yeah, and that was step one?

Right. And about three o'clock
this afternoon,

it'll be time for step two.

- Do you like your ice cream, Pyle?
- Mm-hmm, it's delicious.

Good, good. You can
have another if you like.

Well, let me finish this one first,
and then I'll see.

Well, I'll tell you why
I'm doing this, Pyle.

It's because I don't think it's enough
to just tell a fella when he's doing well.

I think you should reward him.

And this is your reward. Eat, eat, eat.

This is sure a day
I'll remember, Sergeant.

Yeah, well, I've enjoyed it, too.

And you know something else, Pyle?
You are good company.

Maybe you and me should
spend more time together.

I'd really like that, Sergeant.

You would?

Well, how about next Sunday for instance?

We'll do anything you want.

Whatever you usually do on Sunday.

Sunday? Well, I can't.

But I'm free tomorrow night.

No, no. Call it silly,

but I really want to spend
a Sunday with you, Pyle.

I don't know, Sergeant.

You see, there's this
usual thing I do on Sunday,

and well, I just don't
think you'd be interested.

That's where you're wrong, Pyle.
I would be interested, I would.

You would?

I'll level with you, Pyle

I know what you do on Sunday,
and I know you've been keeping it a secret

and I don't blame you.

'Cause a lot of them knuckleheads
would ruin it for you.

You're right to keep it to yourself.

Well, the only reason
I kept it a secret, Sergeant,

is, well, because I thought
the fellas would laugh.

Laugh?

What would they laugh about?

Well, it is kind of embarrassing.

All those girls, and I am the only fella.

Yeah, I know, I know. It's wonderful.

I mean, I think we
should keep it that way.

Just you, me and all them girls.

Then you really are interested, Sergeant?

Interested? Of course I'm interested.

- Are you kidding?
- Well, it is relaxing.

Clarice keeps saying it's therapy.

Oh, it is, it is. Clarice is right.

Listen, where are you meeting this Sunday?

At Clarice's.

At Clarice's place?

Uh, waitress, bring another plate
of ice cream for my friend here.

Eat, eat, eat.

[laughing]

Did I do it or did I do it?

- What's up, Sarge?
- I'm in, Boyle, I'm in.

Pyle's going to take me
with him on Sunday.

- Oh, yeah? How did you work that?
- Just like I told you.

I played him like a barracuda.

And he went for the bait,
hook, line and sinker.

Hey, great.
You didn't forget little Chuck, did ya?

You got me in too, didn't you?

Well, not yet.

You got to play it cool.

Now, we can't rush down
there in a gang, you know.

- But, Sarge
- Take it easy, Boyle, take it easy.

You'll get your chance
just as soon as I'm in solid.

Hey, you know where we're going Sunday?

To Clarice's place.

Doesn't that send chills
up and down your back?

Why can't I go with you?

Relax, Boyle. What's your rush?
There's plenty of time.

Hey, wait a minute Clarice

You know what I think, Boyle?

I think that's Clarice The attorney.

Take me with you.

Please take me with you.

Is this it, Pyle?
Is this where Clarice lives?

That's right, third floor,
apartment three-G.

Three-G.

"G" like in "girls," huh?

[laughing]

Hey, Pyle, look at that.

- Is she one of them, one of the group?
- Well, she must be one of the new ones.

We're getting new people all the time.

Come on, Pyle, I can't wait.

Well, this is it, Sergeant.

Wait a minute, Pyle, wait a minute.

What is it, Sergeant?

Do they know I'm coming,
that you're bringing me?

Oh, yeah, I called Clarice
and she was just as happy as could be.

Good, good.

One more thing.

I know this is my first time,

but I kind of operate
better if I swing loose.

Huh?

I mean, don't stick too close to me.

You see, I know my way around,

so don't be looking over
my shoulder too much.

You get it, huh?

You mean you've done
this before, Sergeant?

Many times, son, many times.

Is that so?

Gee, I didn't know you hooked rugs before.

Oh, Gomer. And you brought
your friend Sergeant Carter.

How nice. Come in, boys, come in.

Didn't know I did what to rugs before?

Girls, will stop everything
for a moment please.

I want to introduce
a new member of our group.

This is Sergeant Carter, Gomer's friend.

Now I'm Clarice,

and this is Marge and Lenore
and Yvette and Thelma

A rug hooking class.

Boy, I would have given
anything to see that.

Knock it off, Boyle, it's not that funny.

It isn't? I think it's hilarious.

- [laughing]
- Ha, ha, ha.

Hey, you know what I ought to do?

I ought to call it in
to the base newspaper.

They'd get a kick out of that.

You do that, Boyle,
and you'll get a kick out of it, too,

only not in the same place.

Boy, that Pyle.

I could kill him, I really could kill him!

Why? It's not his fault.

You wanted to go with him on Sunday
and you went with him.

No, no, Pyle knew what I had in mind
in the first place.

He set a trap for me
and I walked right into it.

Oh, come on, Sarge, Pyle?
He couldn't do a thing like that.

He couldn't? He did.

Listen, he knew all about
them pictures in that magazine

Sunday is Funday.

When I told him I wanted
to spend a Sunday with him,

he had to know what I had in mind.

Sure, he did that on purpose.

There's a lot of malice
in that guy, Boyle.

You can't be serious, Sarge.

Now say what you want about Pyle

That guy would do anything for you.

For me? You mean to me.

He was out to get me and he did.

No, this was his nice subtle way
of giving me the shiv.

After all this time,
he finally figured out

a way to get back at his sergeant.

Sergeant Carter, are you busy?
Could I see you for a minute?

Why? What do you got behind your back?
A rattlesnake?

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

It's for you, Sergeant Carter.

I've been working on
it almost three months.

[Gomer] Read what it says.

"Semper Fidelis.
Especially to Sergeant Carter."

Just a small token of my appreciation

for you being the kind of
sergeant you been to me.

Just my way of saying thanks.

Yeah Well, thanks. Thanks, Pyle.

Well, use it in good health, Sergeant.

Well, bye.

Bye, Corporal Boyle.

Well, what do you think of that, Sarge?

If I were you, I'd feel pretty small.

Sarge?

Sarge?