All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S03E03 Gomer the Carrier 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

[somber music]

How about it, Sarge, are you ready?

Yeah, I'll be with you in a minute, Chuck.
[sighs]

- Am I crazy or is it hot in here?
- I don't think so.

Hey, you're not coming down with anything,
are you, Vince?

I don't know. I feel kinda flush.

Uh, it's just probably something I ate.
Maybe that pizza last night.

Better yet, maybe that beer last night,
or don't you remember?

I don't know.

- Oh, boy!
- You okay, Sarge?

Yeah, I'm okay.

All right, you meat...

All right, you meatheads!
Come on, move it, move it, move it!

Come on!

It's a muster, not a Maypole dance.
Let's go! Move, move, move, move!

All right, listen up.

Here's the way
the rest of the day shapes up.

At 1 :30... [sighs]

...and I mean 1 :30 sharp...

Are you feeling bad, Sergeant?

- Huh?
- I'm right, ain't I? I can tell.

Being as flushed as you are,
it's a sure sign of fever.

Knock it off, Pyle.
When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it.

Right, Sergeant, sorry.

All right. Now, at 1 :30 sharp, I...

What is it now, Pyle?

Excuse me, Sergeant,
but if I could just feel of your ears,

I could tell if you had a fever
in just a second.

That's the way you tell about fever,
not the forehead, like most...

Pyle, knock it off. You're in formation.

Right, Sergeant.

He does look flushed, though, don't he?

Do you know what Grandma Pyle used to do
for a fever? She...

Pyle, I told you to pipe down!
You're at attention.

I'm sorry, Sergeant. I was telling Duke
what Grandma Pyle used to use for a fever.

She'd take a clove of garlic
and two licks of sage...

If I take anything, Pyle, it's gonna be
that PFC stripe off your collar!

You're at attention! Don't move a muscle,
not one single muscle!

- Right, Sergeant.
- Okay.

Now, let's see.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. At 1 :30 sharp...

[muffled speech] ...you will proceed
to Building G for a lecture...

[Gomer] Excuse me?

Pyle, I told you not to move a muscle.
And no talking.

But I can't hear you, Sergeant.

- Did you hear me, Slater?
- No, Sergeant, not too well. I'm sorry.

See. If we both can't hear you,
then you're bound to be sick.

- Huh?
- Bad as you sound, you look even worse!

Don't he look bad, Duke?
Just look at his mouth.

Stow it, both of you.

Vince, maybe you ought to check in
at the sick bay to make sure, huh?

I'll take over here.

Yeah, yeah, maybe you're right.
I'm feeling worse by the minute.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

It's for the best, Sergeant, it really is!

Just ask 'em to feel of your ears
and see if that don't...

Pyle!

- I hope it ain't nothing serious.
- Don't worry about it, Gomer.

But he does look bad.

He looks just like my Aunt Serena did the
day she went down to have her ear lanced.

[Boyle] Pyle!

- Excuse me, Corporal.
- What is it, Pyle?

About Sergeant Carter,
have you heard anything yet?

As a matter of fact, I have.
The doctor just called.

It was a fever spell, right?
Is that what it is?

No, Sergeant Carter's got himself a case
of German measles.

German measles?

- How'd he ever get a thing like that?
- I don't know, Pyle.

I gotta hustle over to sick bay with some
of his stuff and try and cheer him up.

- He must be feeling miserable.
- By all means, Corporal, you do that.

German measles! My, my!

Poor Sergeant Carter.
If there's anything I can do to help?

I'll tell you what you can do, Pyle.
You can get back to work on the double,

so I can give the Sergeant a good report,
okay?

Yes, sir.
Tell Sergeant Carter not to worry.

Everything will be raked up real nice.
I'll see to it myself.

And be sure and tell the sergeant
best wishes.

Tell him it seems like he's been gone
for days instead of just hours!

- I'll see that Sergeant Carter gets this.
- Thank you.

Oh, you can't go in there.

If you want to talk to him, go this way
and use the phone by the viewing window.

- Yes, ma'am.
- And don't stay too long.

I won't.

[Boyle knocks on glass]

Hi, Vince.
I brought some of your stuff over.

- Hey, you don't look too unhappy.
- I'm not.

You look like you're enjoying yourself.

I am! I am!

You're enjoying the German measles?

Well, let me put it to you this way -

if you had your choice between
a 103 temperature without Gomer Pyle

and a normal temperature with Gomer Pyle,

- which would you take?
- I see what you mean!

It's a vacation away from Pyle.

So I have to pay for it
with a little fever?

I may even write a book -
German Measles Can Be Fun.

- How long are you gonna be in?
- Not long enough.

If I'm lucky, I'll catch something else
and continue the vacation.

I saw Pyle just before I came here.
You wanna hear what he said?

Please, Boyle, not while I'm convalescing.

He sent you his best
and says he misses you.

Great.
I think my temperature just went up!

Well, I better be getting back.
Take it easy, Vince.

Oh, I will, I will.

[lullaby music]

Sergeant?

- Are you awake?
- Huh?

Huh? What is it?

It's me - Gomer!

Pyle, of all...

- How did you get in here?
- I walked in.

There wasn't anybody at the front desk,
so I figured it's all right.

Well, it ain't all right! Go on,
get outta here this minute! This second!

Pyle, can't you read signs?
I'm in quarantine!

I've got measles! Even a knucklehead
like you should know what that means!

Oh, don't worry about me, Sergeant.
I never do catch anything.

All I know is you better get outta here
fast. On the double!

Yes, sir. I know just how you feel.

I know how over-wrought a person can get
when they're sick as you.

That's the reason
I brought you these treats.

Well, you should've left 'em outside.
Now, just drop 'em and get outta here!

Yellow jonquils. They're my favorites.

You just see how they brighten up
your room.

- Pyle!
- Oh, and I brought you this book.

Up The Yellowstone With Rod And Reel.

- It's all about salmon fishing.
- Out! Out, out, out, out, out!

Yes, Sergeant. Oh, the candy...

Now, this can't hurt you at all,
on account they're all fruit centers.

Pyle, get outta here! Just get out!

Keep your chin up, Sergeant!

The main thing is to get plenty of rest
and don't let nothing excite you.

Excuse me, Corporal?

Oh, not again, Pyle.

I know you're busy trying to catch up on
your reports and everything, but I was...

But you were just wondering
how Sergeant Carter's making out, right?

- Well, golly, it's been three days.
- That's right.

Like I said yesterday, and the day before,
he's doing fine. Just fine.

- Now, get outta here.
- Well, I sure am glad to hear that.

As a matter of fact,
he's due out tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow morning?

Yeah, and not a minute too soon,
as far as I'm concerned.

Golly! Will I ever be glad to see him!

It's not that you're not doing a fine job,
Corporal! You're doing real fine!

It's just that, well, you're not
Sergeant Carter. But, then, who is?

Yeah, yeah. Get back to work on the
floors, huh? I got a lot of work to do.

Right, Corporal.
Sorry to have bothered you.

Begging your pardon,
but do you feel all right, Corporal?

Hm? Yeah, I'm fine.

- Just a little beat, maybe.
- I guess that's it.

- That's what?
- The reason you look so flushed.

- Not feverish, mind you. Just flushed.
- Yeah?

Uh-huh. I could tell a lot better
if I could feel your ears.

No! Just get outta here!

[playful music]

Hey, fellers, wait till you hear the news!
Just wait till you hear the news!

I just talked to Corporal Boyle
and Sergeant Carter's all better

and he's gonna get out of the sick bay
first thing in the morning.

That's good news?

Well, I'm surprised at you, fellers.

Making light of a man that's been
in the hospital for three days.

Especially a man like Sergeant Carter.

I'm sorry, Gomer, it's just that
I don't feel so red-hot myself.

- I haven't been feeling too well, either.
- Huh?

My head feels kinda funny.
I'm warm all over.

Hey, Duke...

I know. I know.
You wanna feel my ears, right?

[jolly music]

Hey, Boyle?

Boyle?

Where is he, anyway?

Ah!

Back to work! [chuckles]

[jolly music]

First platoon, fall in!

Come on! Move it, move it, move it!
[chuckles]

Sergeant Carter! Golly, you're back!

- It sure is good to see you.
- Huh?

Come on, move it, move it, move it!

You're looking awful good, Sergeant,
considering.

- A little peaked around the face, maybe?
- Pyle, where is everybody?

You look like you've lost weight,

- but that's just perfectly natural.
- Pyle?

An active man like you gets laid up and
his juices play heck with his appetite.

Pyle, where is everybody?
What's going on?

Oh, that's right, Sergeant,
I guess you don't know.

Don't know what, Pyle? What, what?

Everybody's down with the German measles,
just like you had. Even Corporal Boyle.

- Huh?
- That's right.

They all woke up this morning
feeling sick and sore all over.

I never saw anything like it.

So, that's what the excitement
was all about?

They must've been checking in
when I was checking out.

Ain't it a shame, Sergeant? A whole
platoon coming down with German measles?

They say that somebody carried it
right into the platoon

and everybody caught it from this carrier.

Carrier?

- Then, how come you're not sick?
- Me? Oh, I never catch nothing.

- And you're the only one here?
- That's right.

Looks like, for the next few days,
it's just you and me, Sergeant.

Just you and me!

A-ten-hut!

Now, we've got a lot to do today,

so I want you to... [sighs]

Ah! It's just you and me, Pyle.

There's no use me reading off the program
for the day.

But I'd be glad to listen, Sergeant,
if it'll make you feel any better.

- Forget it!
- [phone rings]

At ease, Pyle, at ease!

First platoon. Sergeant Carter.

Oh, yes, Colonel?

The efficiency reports?

Well, sir...

Yes, sir, I understand.

You'll have 'em by tonight, sir.

Excuse me, Sergeant,
for leaving formation,

but Captain Hughes gave me
these inventory report blanks.

He wants 'em filled out
and returned to him by tomorrow noon.

Oh, for the love of Pete!

- I'll do it.
- Huh? Do what?

Fill out these forms. Be glad to.
All you have to do is tell me...

Never mind. Where's Hummel?

Well, he's in sick bay
with all the others. Don't you remember?

[phone rings]

- I'll get it!
- So get it. Big deal.

First Platoon. PFC Gomer Pyle
speaking for Sergeant Carter.

Yes, ma'am.

I sure will!

Thank you for calling.

Bye!

That was Lieutenant Klinger
over in sick bay.

She's missing some of Corporal Boyle's
personnel records.

- Third drawer, right in the front.
- Right, Sergeant!

I'll take it over there myself,
if it's okay. I'd be glad to, Sergeant.

- I'd be more than happy to...
- Take 'em over, take 'em over! Just go!

Right, Sergeant. It's a pleasure.

Anything I can ever do to help you out
is always a pleasure.

Especially now that
you're so hard-pressed.

- And, Sergeant?
- Yeah.

I just want you to know how thrilled I am
to be working so close to you.

- Yeah.
- I've learned a lot already,

but not half as much as I'm gonna learn
for the rest of this week,

what with you and me
being alone together like we are.

Okay, Pyle, okay. I get the message.

Now, get going, huh?
I got some work to do!

Right, Sergeant.

Don't you worry, Sergeant. I'll be back
to help you out before you know it.

From now on, it's just you and me,
side by side!

- We're a team, huh, Sergeant?
- Go!

Sergeant, can I borrow the ketchup?

Well, are you gonna return it, Pyle,
or is it your own private stock?

- Huh?
- The ketchup! The ketchup!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Here you are, Sergeant.

Since there's just the two of us,
do you mind if I join you?

That way, it'll save all that hollering
and passing everything, is it okay?

I suppose.

[mouths]

...five, six, seven...

- Pyle, what are you doing?
- I was just counting, Sergeant.

How many times do you chew your food?

I don't know. I don't count, I just eat.

Grandma Pyle says you should chew
each mouthful 12 times before you swallow.

Anything less than 12 chews
is bad for your digestive tract.

- Did you know that, Sergeant?
- Pyle!

A human being ain't like a dog.
A dog don't chew at all.

He just swallows his food whole
and lets his stomach do all the work.

I remember once I had this old bird dog
and he caught this wild turkey...

Pyle, just eat your chow, huh?
Just eat your chow and knock it off, okay?

Oh, I am, Sergeant, I am.

- I just like to take my time and enjoy it.
- [Carter sighs]

You know, it sure seems strange,
just the two of us at this big old table.

Yeah.

Sergeant,
you just chewed that four times.

Pyle!

Grandma Pyle was right.
If you don't chew it 12 times...

Hip, feet, your left!
Hip, feet, your left!

Hip, feet, your left...

Your left, Pyle, your left!
Don't you know your left?

Sorry, Sergeant, it's just I haven't got
anybody's feet in front of me to watch.

Well, watch my mouth,
that's all you gotta watch.

Left, and left, and left,

two, three, and left!

I'm sorry, I'm doing it again.

Left, and left, and left!

Platoon ready for inspection, sir!

I don't know why I'm even bothering.

But, Sergeant, you gotta turn in a report
to the lieutenant.

All right, all right.

Yeah, yeah. It's okay, Pyle.

Sergeant, the locker...

[Carter sighs]

It's okay, Pyle. As you were.

- Sergeant, is that all?
- Yes, Pyle, that's all.

But it sure went awful fast.
Well, there wasn't too much to do, Pyle.

- Sergeant.
- Huh?

Let's do it again.

What?

Can we do the inspection again,
just to kill some time?

- Hey, it's the sarge.
- [men] Hey!

- Hi, Vince.
- How you doing? Feeling okay?

Oh, not bad, not bad. Say, how are you
getting along with your one-man platoon?

- Don't ask.
- That bad, huh?

Do you know what life is like with Pyle?
Do you have any idea?

- I can imagine.
- It's worse than a horror movie!

Every move I make, there he is, sticking
to me like a bee sticks to plate of honey.

And he never shuts up, never for a second.

Why can't he be in there
with the rest of you guys?

I don't know, I guess he's immune.

Looks like he's just a carrier
and never gets it himself.

No, no.
Maybe he just wasn't exposed long enough.

- Yeah, that's it.
- Huh?

I was just thinking,
Pyle can't have that much immune.

I mean,
when a bug like that's going around,

nobody's immune should be that much better
than anybody else's, right?

Look, Vince, if you're thinking
what I think you're thinking...

Do you blame me? Huh? Knowing Pyle
like you do, do you blame me?

But purposely exposing a guy
to a case of the measles?

- Come on, Vince!
- Who said anything like that?

I was just thinking
he's bound to catch it sooner or later.

So, why not now, huh?

Why not? Mothers do it all the time.

When one kid gets it,
she exposes all the kids to it.

That way, she doesn't have to go through
all that trouble one kid at a time.

Vince,
you're as warm and human as they come.

Yeah, you might say that!

I mean,
if Pyle has gotta catch the measles,

no use he should suffer alone, huh?

- Sergeant, you wanted to see me?
- Yes, I did, Pyle, I wanted...

Before you say what you was gonna say,
can I ask you something?

- What is it?
- Well, I was just thinking,

if I had your permission
to move in here with you,

I'd save you all that running
back and forth every time you wanted me.

- Huh?
- Like in the mess Hali

when I sat down next to you,

I was right there
to pass you anything you wanted -

the salt, the pepper, the ketchup.

- Well, I...
- Why not, Sergeant?

It'd be a lot more efficient
now that Corporal Boyle's bed's empty.

Boyle's bed? Oh, uh, yeah.
Yeah, okay, Pyle.

- That might be a good idea. Look...
- Thank you, Sergeant!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

- I just knew you'd like the idea.
- No, I think it's just great!

- Sergeant, is this your bed here?
- Yes, that's my bed.

Don't you sleep
with your head facing towards the window?

- Oh, yes, I do.
- We'll have to switch the beds around.

- Huh?
- I sleep with mine facing the other way,

so if we switch the beds around,
our heads will be facing each other

and, that way,
we can talk without turning over.

Yeah.

- Um...
- My, my, my! We're gonna be roommates.

Look, Pyle. On your way over
to get your gear, do me a favor, will ya?

Corporal Boyle wants me to send over,
uh, this here book!

Run it over for me, will you?

I'll be glad to, Sergeant.
That's what I'm here for.

And, Pyle, look, that'll give you a chance

to pay your respects to Slater and Hummel
and all the gang, huh?

Yes, sir.
That's real thoughtful of you, Sergeant.

Yeah, just slip over and hand the book
to Boyle personally, will ya?

Remember how you just walked in on me
the other day? Well, do the same thing.

And give Boyle my best wishes.
In fact, shake hands with him.

In fact,
shake hands with the whole platoon!

That's a great morale builder!

Sergeant Carter,
you just think of everything, don't you?

I try, Pyle, I try.

- Psst! Corporal Boyle?
- Gomer!

Hey, Duke! Hey, fellers!

Pyle, how did you get in here, anyway?

Well, I waited till the nurse
left the desk out there,

on account of Sergeant Carter wanted me
to give you this book personally

- and give you his best wishes.
- [Boyle sighs]

Look, Pyle,
you shouldn't have come in here.

Gomer, you'll get in trouble!
This is an isolation ward.

Oh, don't worry about me, Duke.

Well, here's your book.
And best wishes from Sergeant Carter.

Best wishes to all of you
from Sergeant Carter!

- Well? Well? Did you deliver the book?
- I sure did, Sergeant. I sure did.

- And you gave it to Boyle personally, huh?
- Just like you said.

And did you shake hands with him

- and give him my best wishes?
- I sure did!

And then after your visit with Boyle,

did you have a nice bedside visit
with all the boys?

I went around
shaking hands with everybody.

Oh, wonderful!

Corporal Boyle
seemed very nervous about it, though.

- He did?
- Uh-huh.

The doctor told him there wasn't no such
thing as being immune to German measles

for even somebody as healthy as I am.

No kidding? I didn't know that!

All it takes is just one little germ
passed from one person to another.

Just one little germ is all it takes.

Is that so? Just one little germ?

Uh-huh.

You know, I just can't believe
we're gonna be roommates.

Maybe you better pinch me, sergeant,
just to make sure.

Later, Pyle, later.

Just tell me, how many fellas
do you think you shook hands with?

[banging on glass]

- Hi, Vince.
- Can you believe it?

- Can you believe it?
- Never in a million years.

You just don't get relapse
as quick as that.

I did!

I guess you gotta be philosophical.

Like you said, it's a vacation away
from knuckleheads like Pyle.

Yeah, but two vacations in one week?

Better than no vacation from Pyle at all,
right?

Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. [sighs]

If it's the only way
I can keep him off my back, okay.

- Yeah, it's okay by me!
- Now you're talking.

Yeah, I'm right back where I started.

Yes, sir, I like it here fine, Boyle.
Just fine!

[nurse] This way, please.

Pyle?

Golly! Sergeant Carter!

Pyle! What are you doing here, Pyle?

I've got the German measles.

But now that I know we're gonna be
roommates, I feel a whole lot better.

Imagine that! Three or four days of your
sergeant's undivided companionship!

Ain't that so, Sergeant?

Knowing how much fun we're gonna have,

the time's just gonna pass faster
than greased lighting.

I know a lot of games we can play
while we're in the hospital.

You know, it's a wonderful time to just...

- [typewriter keys clang]
- Hey, you're back!

- Yeah!
- You're all over it already?

- Yeah, it was just a relapse.
- What about Pyle?

Well, with Pyle, that was no relapse.

He's got the real thing for the
first time, so it'll be a while longer.

Hey, you may get that vacation
away from him after all, huh?

I will now!
I'm here, he's in the hospital,

and all's right with the world.

Surprise, Sergeant!
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

Pyle! What are you doing here, Pyle?
You're supposed to be in the hospital.

That's the surprise, Sergeant. The doctor
examined me right after he examined you.

He said I could go back to duty
just as soon as I wanted to.

He did, huh? The doctor said that?

He said it was just a light case.

It just goes to show you, Sergeant,
every cloud has its silver lining.

Now we can get back to working together
without missing a beat.

Did the sergeant tell you I was his good
right hand while you was in the hospital?

Now that you're back,
I'll be his second good right hand.

Just you wait, Sergeant!

I'll be here whenever you want me,
night and day...