All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S02E27 A Date With Miss Camp Henderson 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

[Hacker] Beautiful.

Her eyes are beautiful,
her nose is beautiful.

She's beautiful. She is just beautiful!

[Carter] Yeah. Beautiful.

[Lubik] She sure is.

How would you like a date with that,
huh, Boyle, huh?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Huh?

First a little dinner and a show,

then later a drive up to Lookout Point,
then park a little.

Hey, Vince, you see that Boyle
out on a date with Miss Camp Henderson?

What do you mean, "Boyle out on a date"?
Any one of us!

I'd say our chances of reaching the moon
first are better.

You're not kidding, LUBIK.

- Well, I don't know as I'd go that far.
- Huh?

I mean, the way you guys are talking,
it's not that impossible.

- It's not?
- Well, no!

What have you been drinking? Because
the rest of us want some of the same.

All right, wise guys, I'll tell ya!

I've got a theory.

My theory is that any girl -

repeat, any girl -
is approachable and date able.

- Including this girl?
- Including this girl. Who's this girl?

She won a beauty contest.
She's beautiful, but she's a girl.

Therefore, she's approachable

and date able.

Okay. All right.
Then, you go get a date with her.

You go get a date
with Miss Camp Henderson.

- Yeah, Valentino.
- Come on. I'd like to see it!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

First of all, I've got a girl, and I'm not
about to louse myself up with her

- to prove something to you guys.
- [men snigger]

That's a pretty safe theory, Vince.
You never have to prove it.

All right, I'll tell you what!
I'm so sure of my theory,

I could teach another guy.

Just coach him and he'll end up
with a date with that dame.

- For dough?
- For dough.

Okay, how much, Vince?
And make it easy on yourself, pal,

because both of us know
this is a pretty stupid bet.

How about $50? Is that too much?

No, no, make it $50.

Hey, you're pretty sure of this,
aren't ya?

Okay, now, let's set the time limit.

- How much time do you figure you need?
- Well, I...

- How about a week? Is that enough?
- Well, no, not really.

- Well, how about three or four years?
- [laughter]

All right, make it a week!
Make it a week!

Okay, and here's the bet,
so we both understand it.

Within the time limit,
your boy has to take Miss Camp Henderson

up to Lookout Point.

- Lookout Point?
- Well, isn't that the best possible date?

Or is your idea of a date
going to the public library

and meeting in front of the big dictionary
to look up bad words?

- Lookout Point! Make it Lookout Point!
- Good, and any guy, huh?

Well, don't pick me an 80-year-old man.

Oh, no, no. Someone right here
on the base. Someone you can work with.

- Who's not too bad-looking.
- At least as handsome as you.

- At least.
- All righty-roo, now, let's see...

[playful music]

I got him.

Yeah, who?

- Pyle?
- Pyle.

You said anybody, and he qualifies.

- Barely, but he qualifies!
- Yeah, yeah.

[laughs] Come on, Vince,
I'm gonna let you off the hook!

I know how you get carried away sometimes.
Forget the whole thing. Forget the bet.

What do you mean? Forget nothing.
I made a bet! I'm no welcher!

Okay, Vince,
if that's the way you want it.

But, well,
at least let me make it easier for you.

- Let me pick another guy.
- No, no, no.

Y-You wanted Pyle? Okay, Pyle it is.

Come on, LUBIK, let's get out of here!

Let the professor start working out
his strategy.

Or, uh, can we stick around
and watch you give Pyle his first lesson?

Nah, you can't do that.

He's gonna put him under hypnosis,
right, Vince?

You're gonna make Pyle think
he's Rock Hudson!

Hypnosis! I never thought of that!

You're funny, LUBIK! [chuckles]

Hypnosis!

- See ya later, Rock!
- [both laugh]

[Hacker] Whoo!

- Oh, boy...
- Never mind!

No, I gotta say it!

I've seen you go out on a limb before,
but what kind of a bet is that?

You really believe that theory?

Look, there's nothing wrong with
the theory. It happens every day.

Okay,
but look what you've got to work with -

Pyle, and in a week!

What do you want to see me about,
Sergeant?

What did I wanna see you about? [sighs]

What did I wanna see you about?

Oh, uh, by the way, uh,

what do you think of this year's choice
for Miss Camp Henderson?

Well, she's very attractive.

Beautiful smile.
Hasn't she got a nice smile?

Uh-huh! Real nice.

- Happy-looking, huh?
- Yeah.

That shows how much you know, Pyle.

- That is not a happy girl!
- She's not?

Don't fooled by the smile.
That's just for the newspapers.

My goodness,
why would a girl like that be unhappy?

She's young and pretty and popular.

And everybody wants to take her out,
right?

I'm sure of it.

Everybody wants to take her out
because she's beautiful.

They wanna be seen with her. They wanna
show her off like a shiny bauble.

And what do they want?
They wanna kiss that beautiful face.

They wanna hug that body.

They do, don't they?

Think, Pyle, think.

Does one guy ever take that girl out
and hug her mind?

That's right!
Take her out just to talk to her.

I mean, this girl has a mind.

I'll bet there are lots of things
she could talk about -

politics or history or grammar.

- You think she would?
- Sure, but does she ever get the chance?

No!

Sure, it's a date every night,
but it's kiss, kiss, hug, hug.

It's disgusting!

- Really?
- Really!

And don't think she doesn't know it.

She knows she's just a trinket,
just a poor little glad rag doll.

I don't know, that smile of hers...

That smile of hers fades
when she gets home from a date.

Sure, she was popular all evening,
the center of attention,

- but not one man looked at her mind.
- That's true.

- After a while,
it's gotta make her bitter.

All men are kissers and huggers,
not one talker.

Is that a fact?

You know, Pyle, it's too bad
she doesn't know men like you and me,

you know, kind, gentle, understanding,

men who know other places, uh,
besides Lover's Lane.

Can't you see yourself with this girl
in a museum?

Yeah, I could, but...

Yeah, in a museum or maybe... [sighs]

Pyle, I just got the craziest idea!

Pyle, how would you like to personally
restore this girl's faith in men?

- Me?
- You!

I'd do it myself, but you know my girl,
Bunny, she's insanely jealous.

Sergeant, I don't know the girl.

Well, suppose I arrange
for you to meet her, huh?

- Well, I don't know.
- I arrange for you to meet her

and you take her out.
What do you say, huh?

I better not.

Oh...

Ah, you don't trust yourself, is that it?

You're gonna be like all the others
with the hugging and the kissing?

- Why, I never would!
- Then, prove it to her!

If this girl were drowning,
wouldn't you jump in for her?

She's drowning, Pyle.

Jump!

Good boy. That's a good boy.

By the way, Sergeant,
what was it you wanted to see me about?

Oh, uh, I'll think of it!

18...

20.

Well, here we are.

Sergeant, I don't think
this is such a good idea.

I've already got a dry throat.

- That means the words won't slip by and...
- Relax, just relax!

Now, listen, Pyle,
in order to set up this meeting,

I had to use a little device.

What kinda device?

Well, I told her it was for an interview
for the camp newspaper.

I told her I was the editor
and you were a reporter.

That's not a device, that's a fib.

Well, listen, we can't explain to her
on the phone that we're different,

so, uh, so I used the device!

- You mean the fib.
- It's just to establish a beachhead!

- [door buzzer]
- So make-believe you're a reporter.

Ask a lot of questions.

"How does it feel
to be Miss Camp Henderson?"

Does she have any hobbies?
What's her favorite dessert?

You know, get to her mind!

Sergeant, I don't think I want to do this.

Oh, wait a minute!

You can't back out now. This girl...

- Yes?
- Miss Myers?

I'm Sergeant Carter, the editor
of the Camp Henderson newspaper.

- I spoke to you earlier on the phone.
- Oh, yes.

This is Private Pyle,
uh, one of my reporters.

He'll handle the interview.

Very pleased to meet you.
Won't you come in?

- Would you sit down?
- Uh, no, thanks. I gotta run.

You know, keep the presses rolling!
[chuckles]

Uh, I just came along to make sure
the interview gets off on the right foot.

That's funny, they didn't say anything
about an interview

when they took my picture.

Yeah, well,
we appreciate your giving us your time.

Now,
Private Pyle likes to get all the facts,

so he'll probably need an evening
besides this meeting.

Fine.

I'll go now
so Private Pyle can start the interview.

Start interviewing, Private.

Make it good, Pyle. Don't forget
how important this is! [chuckles]

Ah, won't you sit down?

Can I get you something?
Coffee or...

Oh, no, ma'am.

Ah...

Well, what would you like to know, hm?

I'm a photographer's model,
I'm studying acting

and my favorite sport is horseback riding.

Is there something you'd like to ask me?

No, ma'am.

The fact is,
there's something I'd like to tell you.

- Oh?
- Sergeant Carter's not an editor

and I'm not a reporter.

- What?
- Sergeant said that that was just a device

to get us in here.

And the reason we wanted to see you
was to tell you that,

well, you're not just a trinket, ma'am,

and not all fellers wanna take you out
just to show you off and to kiss you,

cause we know
that behind that pretty face,

there's just got to be a pretty mind.

We know it and you know it.

The fact is, you're not just
a poor little glad rag doll.

That's what I wanted to tell you.

It was nice meeting you, ma'am.

Bye.

Uh, no, wait! Uh...

I have a pretty what?

Mind.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Oh, no, don't go! Uh...

Listen, you tricked your way in here
just to tell me that?

You really mean that, don't you?

I mean, you're not kidding me?

Oh, no, ma'am!

Well, then,
I'm glad you tricked your way in here.

You are?

I think that's probably
the nicest compliment I've ever had.

It is?

Well, you see, it's not really important
how anybody looks,

cause if a person
is beautiful on the inside,

then they're beautiful on the outside.

Now, you take Abraham Lincoln,
for instance.

He's the first one to admit
he's the homeliest person ever born.

Nobody ever noticed it!

So old Steve got hisself
this brand-new tractor

and him not even knowing
how to drive a car!

Well, he wouldn't let none of us show him.

He just jumped up on that thing

and he stomped the gas
all the way to the floor.

Well, the front wheels come off the ground
and he went off the back!

It was the funniest thing I ever seen,

him chasing that tractor yelling,
"Whoa! Whoa!"

Did it ever whoa?

No, but it did finally run outta gas!

It's funny, Gomer! Oh!

- More coffee?
- Oh, no, thank you.

I really gotta go.

I didn't mean to talk your ear off
all this time.

Oh, but you didn't, I really enjoyed it!

Well, I enjoyed myself a whole lot, too.

You know, I've never really met anybody
quite like you.

You know,
Sergeant Carter says that all the time,

but it comes out different
the way you say it!

Oh, Gomer, um, the Sergeant said
you'd probably need an evening.

Oh, that was when we was fibbing
about being reporters.

Well, you can still have it,
that is if you want to?

Well, it'd be an honor, ma'am.

Saturday night?

Well, Saturday night would be fine!

- Bye, Miss Julie.
- Bye, Gomer.

Where is he? Where is that nitwit?

That was some chance to take,
to leave him alone with the girl.

Why? All he has to do
is ask her a few questions,

make an appointment for a night interview
and that's the date.

Up on Lookout Point for an interview?

Why not? It's quiet.

Hey, Sergeant!

Pyle, where have you been?
What happened? How did it go?

Did you set up an appointment
for a night interview? Huh? Did ya?

That's over and done with, Sergeant.

I told Miss Julie the truth
about us not being on the newspaper.

You didn't?

You blew it! You went and blew it!
Why did you blow it, Pyle?

Well, because it wasn't necessary.
We got along just fine.

Got to be good friends!

- What? You got along fine?
- Uh-huh.

Things always work better
when you tell the truth.

The fact is, she asked me to take her out
Saturday night.

She... asked you?

For a date.

She didn't?

Ah, that's great! This is great!
[chuckles]

Now, look, Pyle,
the next step is to prove to this girl

how really different you are
from all the others.

So here's what I want you to do. I'm gonna
let you have my car for this date.

You are? Well, thank you.

Now, you take her up to Lookout Point
and park.

Lookout Point?
You mean that Lover's Lane place?

Well, uh, you're gonna be going up there
not to hug and kiss.

You're gonna be going up there
to find out more about her mind!

Is that gonna prove to her there's still
some decent guys left in the world, huh?

Sergeant Carter, this is a fine thang
we're doing for that girl!

- You're a good person! Truly, truly good.
- [Carter chuckles]

And truly, truly rotten!

What do you mean? It's working!
The theory's working! He got to her mind!

Yeah, well,
what if she tries to get to his mind?

How can she get there? Nobody's ever been!

[chuckles loudly]

- Why are we stopping?
- Because this is Lookout Point.

I know that.

We're lucky tonight,
there's not many people parked up here.

So I see.

Miss Julie,
you know why I wanted to come up here?

I think so.

- Listen.
- What?

Just listen.

- Listen to what?
- Listen to the quiet. Just listen.

I think that's the nicest sound
in the whole world.

It's getting harder and harder to come by.

It seems like now, anytime, day or night,

you can always hear a car passing by
or people talking or music playing.

I used to like to ride elevators
in them professional buildings,

but now they got loudspeakers
playing music

and in the hallways and in the offices,
everywhere.

It's not that I got anything
against music,

but I don't even think Stephen Foster
could write anything this pretty.

Just listen.

Gomer, is that why you brought me up here?

Uh-huh. It's the only place I know
that's near the city and still so quiet.

[train horn toots]

- Hear that?
- That train?

That's the 9:04 to Barstow.

Ain't that a pretty sound?

Golly!

Ain't it peaceful?

She's kissing him.

He's not kissing her.

- She's kissing him!
- Huh?

Let me see that!

Well, I told him to play hard to get.

Experience is the best teacher.

And when it comes to girls, that's me.
Come on, pay, pay, pay, pay.

Hypnosis - that's what you used, right?
Hypnosis.

Dr. Carter's Magic Lover course.

Would you like to sign up for a summer
session or maybe a few evening hours, huh?

[Carter chuckles]

Hi there.

- Hello?
- These are for you. Special delivery.

- Ah! Who are they from?
- Me.

- I'm a very special deliverer.
- [sighs]

- Yeah, well, I don't think I know you.
- Ah, but I know you.

And for the record,
I'm Charley. Charley Hacker.

For your record, I don't think
I'm too pleased to meet you.

Hey, hey, hey!
Aren't you gonna invite me in?

I am not, and you'd better get outta here
before I call the police.

Now, hold it. I'm not looking for trouble,
but I don't get it.

You mean you'll go up to Lookout Point
with that Private, Gomer Pyle,

- but you won't even talk to me?
- What?

Well, now, you did go up to Lookout Point
with him, didn't you?

- How do you know?
- How?

I saw you with my own binoculars.

Binoculars?

Well, now, you don't think
I'm gonna pay off a $50 bet

without seeing it with my own eyes,
do you?

What are you talking about?

A bet that Pyle couldn't get you
up to Lookout Point.

And may I tell you
that 50 outta my pocket hurts.

A bet?

I guess I underestimated Pyle.

He must have a pretty smooth line
going for him, that boy.

[sighs angrily]

[door buzzes]

- Hey, Miss Julie!
- Hello, Gomer.

Come in.

Oh, my goodness, did you hurt your back?

You sure sounded anxious to talk to me,
Miss Julie. Something special?

Mm-hm.

You sure are acting strange, Miss Julie.
That's not like you!

Don't play innocent.
That's what you want, isn't it?

You're just like all the others,
except you're a lot smoother.

You and your dumb hillbilly act!

Well, you got your kiss and you
won your bet. Now get outta here!

What? What's going on? What bet?

Sure you took me up to Lookout Point
just to listen to the quiet!

And I was dumb enough to believe you,
with your friend watching the whole thing!

- Pretty funny!
- Huh?

Yes, Sergeant Hacker, your friend,
told me all about it.

It seems he's a sore loser.
So, why don't you go cheer him up,

buy him a beer
and have a good laugh on me?

How could you do it, Sergeant?

How could you do a thing like that?

Look, the whole thing was a gag,
that's all, a gag, and it paid off!

What are you making such a big thing
out of it?

Cause now that girl's more bitter
than ever.

Look, if Hacker hadn't gone up there
and blabbed the whole story,

everything would be okay!
Go blame it on him.

The bad part is how Miss Julie trusted me.

But you know what the worst part is,
Sergeant?

The worst part's how I trusted you.

Pyle! Hey, Pyle!

So, like I said,
the whole thing was kind of a gag.

We sure didn't mean
to step on anybody's toes.

And one thing,

Pyle didn't know anything about the bet
or the binoculars, nothing at all.

So for the record,
let's get him off the hook.

That really wasn't a nice thing to do,
though, Sergeant, was it?

Well, you know,
a bunch of guys sitting around,

they come up with all kinds of crazy bets
and ideas!

They don't always backfire like this one.

Well, the only fortunate thing about it

is that you picked someone as nice as
Gomer, who was very sincere about it all.

Yeah.

Well, anyway,
I'm sorry about the whole thing.

But it was an accident
the way it came out, just an accident.

But you see, it all comes out in the wash.

I suppose.

Sergeant,
would you care for something to drink?

- A beer?
- Yeah, that's great!

- Gomer?
- No, thank you.

It's a sure nice thing you did, coming up
here, Sergeant, and explaining everything.

What you did first, though, was terrible.
But this was the nice thing you did.

Yeah, well, look at it this way, Pyle,

you never would've met Julie if it hadn't
been for that terrible thing I did, right?

That's right.
It was still a terrible thing, though.

- Here's your beer, Sergeant.
- Oh!

Oh! I'm sorry!

- Oh, it was an accident! Just an accident!
- Yeah, yeah.

But as you say,

it all comes out in the wash.

Well, here we are again.

Yep, here we are again!

You know, I wanted to come back up here
just once more

to kind of wipe out that last experience
when we were being spied on.

Yeah. It sure was nice of Sergeant Carter
to let us have his car again.

I think he felt
it was the least he could do.

I suppose.

- Gomer?
- Huh?

You know, the last time we were here, I...
I was very suspicious at first,

and, of course,
I found out that you meant well all along

and that you're very sincere.

- Well...
- And so, Gomer, if you'd like to kiss me,

I won't mind.

Of course, if you'd rather not...

Oh, no, ma'am, it's not that.

It's just that the 9:04 to Barstow is due

and I can't do two things at once.

I can't kiss and listen to trains
at the same time.

So just as soon as it passes,
I'll kiss you real good!