All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S02E25 Vacation in Vegas 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

- Hold it!
- Huh?

Don't move, Gomer. Don't move a muscle.

Y-Ya see a bee?

No, a fin. A great big genuine fin.

How about it? You loan your old buddy the
five, for a very important date? Please?

Well, I'd like to help you out, Duke,
but I can't.

I'm sending this money back home
to the Community Chest.

The Community Chest?
You mean the charity?

Uh-huh. I give every year.

Don't lick! Don't lick!

Well, I mean, it's a great idea,
sending money to the Community Chest,

but couldn't you hold off
and send it later?

Oh, no.

You see, it says right here that all
contributions have to be in by the 15th

in order to get credit.

- Credit?
- For the Community Chest drive.

You see, Mayberry has always been 100%,
as long as I can remember.

I just couldn't go back home
and face anybody

knowing that I was the one
that brought 'em down to 99%.

[sighs] Oh, brother!
How do you fight goodness?

Hey, how about that?!

- Yeah, sure. I can get him for you.
- For me?

Just a second, please.

- It's for Pyle. This guy here...
- Pyle?

How many times did I tell that knucklehead
no personal calls on this phone?

- Huh? How many times?
- But, Sarge!

Hang up! We ain't taking no private calls
of any kinda nature.

None whatsoever. Especially for Pyle.

But, Sarge,
it's the Peter Pan supermarket!

Pyle just won the big vacation sweepstakes
grand drawing.

- What?
- That's what the man says.

Pyle just won himself a weekend
in Las Vegas, all expenses paid!

- Yeah, I'm still here.
- Pyle won a trip to Vegas?

Yeah, and they wanna talk to him.

Here, Sarge,
you hold the phone while I go get Pyle.

Hello?

Uh, this is Private Pyle's
sergeant speaking.

He'll be right with you
as soon as we can locate him.

Yeah, it's real exciting news all right!

Lucky guy,
winning himself a trip like that.

What do you mean, it ain't for him alone?

Really?

Two people, huh?

Well, gee, it's too bad
that Private Pyle ain't married.

No kiddin'?

Anybody at all, huh? Uh, a friend,
a close buddy, somebody like that even?

Oh, yeah!

Yeah, that sounds good.
That sounds real good!

Uh, hang on. Here he comes now.

- Sergeant, is it true?
- Yeah, yeah!

Look, Pyle, why don't you sit down
over here and make yourself comfortable?

I just can't believe it. I never have won
nothing before in my whole life.

Hello?
This is Private Gomer Pyle speaking.

Uh-huh.

Golly! The Hotel Mirage, you say?

And $50 in cash, too?

All that for me?

Well, it sounds wonderful, just wonderful!

When do I go?

This weekend?

Well, golly, I don't know.

I'll have to check and see if I can
get liberty first. You see, I have to...

It's okay! Sergeant Carter say it's okay,
I can go.

Yes, sir.
Just tell the messenger Company B.

And thank you kindly, sir.

I'm sure I'll have a fine time!

Well, bye!

Golly!

Let me be the first to congratulate you,
Pyle!

Thank you, Sergeant.
Imagine that, a free trip to Las Vegas!

Yeah. By the way,
who are you gonna take with you?

- You don't have too much time, you know.
- That's right.

- I know just who'd like to go.
- Who? Who?!

Duke. He's been talking about it
ever since I can remember.

Yeah. Duke.

Oh, good idea. Duke is a good choice.
The two of you can...

Oh, darn! Did you say Duke?
Duke Slater?

- Let me see the duty roster.
- Why, what's the matter, Sergeant?

Oh, yes. Just as I thought. [stammers]

Slater has guard duty this weekend.

- Oh, golly, that's a shame!
- [tuts] Isn't it?

Gosh, I wonder who else I could invite.

Well, anyone would enjoy taking a trip
like that.

A private, a corporal, a sergeant...

Anybody.

- A sergeant?
- I'll go! I'll go!

That's wonderful, Sergeant. I can't think
of anybody I'd rather go with than you.

Well, thank you, Pyle!

And it was nice of you to think of me.
Real nice!

And now that it's all set,

hustle over to the barracks
and start packing

while I get the passes in order.

Yes, sir, I'll do that!

- And Sergeant?
- Yeah, Gomer?

You don't mind if I call you Gomer?

After all, we are going to be together
the whole weekend.

Of course. I just wanted you to know that
this has been the luckiest day of my life,

- thanks to you!
- [chuckles]

Beautiful. Beautiful!

Here I was sitting here
without a nickel to my name.

Two minutes later, Pyle is begging me
to go to Vegas with him.

- Could you ask for anything sweeter?
- Not off-hand, I couldn't!

Now, the plan...

Right after we get registered,

I'll call that little hat check girl
that works at the Gold Mine Club.

And then, after she's lined up,

we really get onto serious business
around the tables.

She brought me a lot of luck
the last time I was there.

- Sounds great, Vince.
- Yeah.

With her blowing on my dice,
I'll have no trouble at all

running Pyle's 50 clams
into a small fortune. No trouble at all!

Then, I guess you won't have any trouble
laying your hands on that 50, huh?

What?

All you have to do is play him like
a barracuda, like you did just now.

What are you talking about?
Look, I'm doing him a favor!

- How do you figure that?
- Well, it's simple.

A nice, innocent kid like Pyle
comes into a town like Vegas,

he don't know from nothing!
He don't know where to go.

That's where I come in.
I take him around, I show him the sights,

I see that he has a good time!

Oh, you're making a sacrifice?

Well, in a way, yeah!

Sarge, you're all heart.

I like to think so!

Yeah...

Tomorrow night at this time,

there I'll be, in the casino,

just me, a pair of dice,

Irene...

And the barracuda.

[lively big band music]

[male dealer] All right, we're going out
with a new shooter...

We've reserved a lovely room for you, too,
if you'll just register right here.

[lounge music plays]

[coins rattle]

[woman squeals]

[onlookers gasp]

- Oh, excuse me, my dear!
- [bell dings]

Room 207.

Thank you kindly!

- We all set, all registered, huh, Pyle?
- Uh-huh.

From now on, Sergeant, we're on our own.
It's gonna be nothing but fun, ain't it?

Look, Pyle,
you've never been to Vegas before, right?

That's right, Sergeant.

That's the reason I made sure to plan
the whole trip out, real careful-like.

Huh? A plan?

- You've got a plan?
- Mm-hm. Listen to this.

I figured it all out on the plane.

First of all, we go to
the Precious Metals Mining Museum.

- Huh?
- And then we take a sightseeing bus

- out to Hoover Dam.
- Hoover Dam?

Listen, Pyle. I-I know this town.
I'm the one that should show you around.

Oh, no, Sergeant, I'm the host!

It's only right
that I should show you around.

Now, after we go to Hoover Dam,
we're gonna take a tour of...

Listen, Pyle! I asked this friend of mine
to meet us here.

Both of us know this town real good.

By the way, are you sure you don't mind
my asking her along?

Oh, no, Sergeant. I don't mind at all.
The more the merrier.

Well, seeing she's cooped up
in a nightclub all night,

I thought we could liven things up for her
a little.

You know, give her a little
change of pace, show her the sights.

I know just what you mean, Sergeant.

And so I think that the two of us...

Oh, here she comes now. Not bad, huh?

Hiya, baby! Needless to say, you're
looking bigger and better than ever!

Hiya, Vincy! It's been a long time!
[barks with laughter]

Yeah, too long!

Uh, this is my buddy
I was telling you about.

- Gomer Pyle, this is Irene.
- It's a pleasure, I'm sure!

Hey, Miss Irene!

Listen, Sergeant,
I'll go make all the arrangements

while you and Miss Irene
get all your hellos done with.

- That way, we'll save a whole lot of time.
- Yeah...

Yeah, you do that.

Well, where do you wanna go?

There's a great daytime show
at the Money Tree. You might like that.

The girls are in nothing but $100 bills!

- [barks] What do you think?
- Well, I...

Then there's the Double Whammy Saloon.
I know all the dealers there.

Or maybe you boys got something in mind,
huh?

Well, yes. As a matter of fact, we do.

Well, anything you say, Vincy!
After all, you're the boss.

Where to first?

The Precious Metals Mining Museum.

What? What's that?

It's a rock museum.

You know, a museum? With rocks?

You've gotta be kidding?

A rock museum?

Listen, baby, I can explain everything!

A rock museum?
Believe me, we're gonna have a ball!

It's just that Pyle is the guy
who won the contest I told you about.

I-It's his money.
You see, I'm just along for the ride.

That is, until I loosen him up a little.

A rock museum?

So we play our cards right
and go along with him for a while,

we got no problem!

I mean, how much money can he spend
in a museum?

I don't know! I never been!

Take my word for it, when we get back,

we'll have enough left over
for a little fun around the dice tables

and then, baby,
it's champagne up to your knees!

Believe me, I...

Here he comes now. Just make sure
you act like you're enjoying yourself.

Are you ready?
I've got us a taxi waiting right outside!

A taxi? What about the bus?

I decided that a taxi would be quicker.

That way, we'll get to see
a whole lot more of everything.

But a taxi?
That could cost a lot of money!

I know. But that's what
the prize money's for, ain't it,

to make everything real convenient for us?

- Well I don't know. I...
- Please, Sergeant, it's my treat.

I want to be sure you and Miss Irene have
yourselves a day you'll always remember,

even if it does cost a few extra dollars.

Don't forget, you two are my guests.
Now, come on!

We're doing it. We're actually doin' it.

We're going to a rock museum!

We're going to a rock museum?

Now, let's see...

2.50 for the cab,
50 cents apiece to get into this dump.

That's four bucks.

Plus 3.50 for breakfast this morning,

that's 7.50.

Glory be! Sergeant, look here.

It's a piece of fool's gold
as big as your hand.

Oh!

Oh, yeah! That's something, all right!
[chuckles]

Ain't that something, Irene?
Huh, ain't it something?

Says right here it's totally worthless.

It's hard to believe, ain't it?

Men fighting and dying
and losing everything dear

for something worthless?

You are kidding.
You've just gotta be kidding!

Ssh.
I told you, it's just a matter of time.

We've been here an hour already.

I didn't have to go through this
last time you were here.

I told you, this time it ain't my money.
It's his dough.

Well, you'd better do something,

because if I have to look at one more rock
I am gonna scream!

- All right! All right!
- [sighs]

Um... Hey, Pyle?

It's getting kinda late, ain't it?
[chuckles]

Golly! You're right, Sergeant.
You're absolutely right.

We stay here one more minute
and we'll miss that tour of Hoover Dam.

Oh, yeah. Hoover Dam.
I-I forgot about that!

Hoover Dam?
You never said anything about that!

- He'll hear you!
- I don't care if he does!

- If you think for one second that I'm...
- Please, Irene! Please!

Ya gotta be patient!

Come on, play along with him
a little while longer, huh? Please?

Please? Huh? Please?

[dramatic music]

Now, this generator you see here
operates at 60 cycles

and produces 95,000 kilowatts
of electrical power.

Or breaking it down
to a more familiar household term,

95 million watts of electricity.

Gosh! That's sure a lot
of electrical power, ain't it?

That's right. Enough to light up
the entire city of San Diego.

San Diego?

Hey, Sergeant. Did you hear that?

There's enough electrical power coming out
of that one generator down there

to light up the whole city of San Diego,
that one generator.

Oh, yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful!

What about two generators?
What cities could they light up?

- Oh, boy, I gotta get outta here!
- Oh, come on, honey. Take it easy.

So you take the tour. So what?
It ain't so bad.

Who knows,
maybe you'll even learn something.

Now if you'll all just step this way,
please...

Hey, you two!

We're going up to the top of the dam now!

Uh, look, Pyle. Why don't we skip it
and head on back to the hotel?

Irene don't feel so good.

Well, that's a shame.
What seems to be the matter?

- She feels faint. Don't you, Irene?
- I feel faint.

It's some kind of condition she's got.

Happens toward the end of every day.

All of her muscles go limp.
Just like that.

Maybe I can go get her something.

I'm sure they've got a first aid station
at a dam this big.

Oh, no! No, no. She'll be all right.

It's just that she needs to sit down
for a while. Don't ya?

All I know is I feel faint. Very faint.

Well, then, that's just what we'll do.

Yes, sir. We'll get you off your feet
in no time. In no time at all, Miss Irene.

[drums beat]

You are so smart, Vince.
For a prize dope, you sure are smart!

Well, I tried, didn't I?

How did I know
this is what he had in mind?

Vince, so help me, five minutes...

I'm gonna give you five minutes
to get me out of this feather flam

or I'm going back to town alone.
And I mean A-Lone!

Okay! Okay!

Just leave it to me.

Hey, Gomer.

That, uh, rain dance he's doing,

- I think it's working.
- Huh?

Look over there.

A raincloud if ever I saw one.

- And it's coming up fast!
- Where? I don't think I see...

Let's get outta here before we get soaked!

- If you say so, Sergeant.
- Now you're talking.

Well, here we are!

We had a nice outdoorsy afternoon, huh?

Well, it was some fine day, wasn't it?

Seeing all them sights and learning all
about our ancient heritage like we did.

And it's going to be an even better night,
ain't it, Pyle?

Considering we've still got
20 dollars and 52 cents left

to see some of our modern heritages,
if you know what I mean?

How did you know that, Sergeant?

That's exactly how much money I got left,

right down to the last penny -
20 dollars and 52 cents!

No kidding? I just took a wild guess!
How about that?

Gosh! All that fresh air and all them
facts and figures about Hoover Dam

just kinda made my mind weary.

In fact, I'm so tired,
I think I could go for a nice nap.

- Good idea. Why don't you do that?
- I think I will.

Why don't you and Miss Irene take a walk
and have a look around in the meantime?

Yeah! Yeah. That would be nice.

And maybe you want me to take the 20

and, uh, kind of make some plans
for this evening, huh?

Oh, no, that won't be necessary, Sergeant.
I've already made plans.

It's gonna be perfect, just perfect.

Huh? Uh, what...
What's gonna be perfect? What?

The rest of the evening.
Now, here's what we do.

You remember that restaurant we passed
up there on the corner? Hamburger Harbor?

The one where it says
all you can eat for a dollar 95?

Well, I'll meet you and Miss Irene there
in an hour and we'll have dinner.

From there, we can go to a movie and that
way we'll have ourselves a real fine time!

And I'll still have $10 left,
just like I promised myself.

- Huh?
- For something special.

Something kinda close to my heart.

Well, I better go on upstairs
and get to bed

if I'm gonna meet you all in an hour.
I'll see you later!

Night clubs, huh? Fancy dinners, huh?
Champagne up to my knees, huh?

- A little fun around the dice tables, huh?
- Believe me, Irene, I can get around him.

- Just be patient!
- Patient?

I walked my feet to the bone
looking at a bunch of rocks.

I spent two hours listening to some square

telling me how to light up
the City of San Diego!

And then I twist my legs out of joint
looking at an Indian weathermen,

and you want me to be patient?
Goodbye, Vincy! And I mean goodbye!

Wait a minute, Irene! Wait, huh?

Please... Please will you listen? Wait!

Pyle, you awake?

Pyle?

[groans]

[sighs]

[playful music]

Pyle, I'm borrowing the 20.
Any objections? Good.

Six again!

Boom!

- [laughter]
- [dealer] Clear the line!

- Uh, 20 right, huh?
- 20 right.

Come on, stay hot!

Come on!

Seven. Boom!

- [cheering]
- Another winner. Pay the line.

[yawns]

Oh, that was good!

Irene? Vince.

Wait a minute!

Boy, oh boy, are you gonna eat crow.

Huh? Never mind.

Just get yourself over here on the double.

That is, if you wanna do the town up right
like I promised ya!

Yeah, I'm at the tables!
And, boy, am I hot!

Listen, this time wear a cocktail dress
and your dangle earrings. Yeah.

A-And hurry!

[chuckles]

[laughter and chatter]

The number is eight.
The shooter wants eight.

- The hard way.
- The hard way.

I've been robbed! I've been robbed!

- Have you seen Sergeant Carter?
- I beg your pardon?

The fellow that I'm sharing the room with.
Have you seen him? I've gotta find him!

Well, never mind. There he is now.

- Come on five! Five!
- Sergeant Carter! I was robbed!

- Somebody robbed me!
- Huh?

The $20. Remember $10 was for dinner

- and the movies!
- Whoa! Hold it! Hold it!

Whoa! Whoa!

Pyle, I've got a confession to make.

You wasn't robbed.
That money was borrowed is all.

- Borrowed?
- That's right. By yours truly.

Pyle, look at all them chips there.
That's your money.

Your money, Pyle, and my luck!

Golly!

You were getting all excited for nothing!

Pyle, I know how you feel about gambling,
but I never lose, Pyle, never!

- You mean all that's my money?
- Your money.

Quadruple. Quadruple twice over!

That's what I was trying to tell you
in the room, but, well, you were napping.

And all that money, it's all mine?

Of course!

- Well, I'll be!
- [chuckles]

- Five's the winner.
- Hey, that's me! That's me right there!

[chuckles]

Wait till you hear what the Sergeant did
with my money, Miss Irene.

I know! I know! I heard! [barks]

Oh, hiya, baby!

Wasn't I right? Look at that. 200 bucks!

- I told you, I was born lucky.
- Not bad, Vincy! Not bad at all!

Here's another thing about me, too.
I-I'm smart.

I never push my luck. I know when to quit.
From now on, baby, it's just you and me.

Just you and me, baby!

- First we'll have cocktails at the Sierra.
- Uh-huh!

And then we'll catch the dinner show
at the Silver Dust Inn.

I'd like to cash in, please. All tens.

Keep planning, baby!

Just make sure it's first cabin
all the way!

Sergeant Carter? There he is, ma'am.
That's Sergeant Carter right there.

- And this is the money.
- Huh?

Less $10.

After all, I did promise Sergeant Carter
and Miss Irene

I'd take them to dinner and to a movie,
and I sure wouldn't wanna let 'em down.

Thank you.
The Red Cross thanks you very much.

You're very kind.

Don't thank me, ma'am.
Thank Sergeant Carter here.

After all, all I had to give you was $10.

It was Sergeant Carter here
that built it all up.

Wasn't it, Sergeant?

I can't tell you how much
we appreciate this gesture, Sergeant.

And you may be sure
the money will be put to good use.

Must make you feel warm all over,
Sergeant.

Just think of all those poor unfortunates
you're helping out

just 'cause you had some good luck.

It's almost like the fates
was being good to you on purpose.

Well, we sure did have fun, didn't we,
Sergeant?

Yeah, Pyle. [sighs]
It was a weekend to remember all right.

Was sure too bad about Miss Irene
getting that sick headache

and not being able go to the movie
with us.

Poor thing. I never saw anybody take
changes for the worst as fast as she did.

Did you?
Look, Pyle, the weekend is over,

finished, caput.

Let's just hop a plane back and
be done with it. Is that asking too much?

All right, Sergeant.

Hey, Sergeant, you know something?

I never did get to try
one of these things.

Do you think I should
so as I can say I tried my luck?

You? Mr. Pure and Simple?

I know it, but seeing as we gave
all that gambling money to charity,

I don't see anything
so unrighteous about it, do you?

No, go ahead. Live it up.

Here. I got two quarters.

You take one and I'll take one.
Thanks.

I ain't even gonna look. [cranks lever]

You got a plum. You got a plum.
And a cherry. And a lemon.

Naturally a lemon. One big lemon.

Now I'm gonna try mine.

[coins rattle]

Glory be! Glory be!

You hit the jackpot! You hit the jackpot!

There must be $40 in there, Pyle!
What are you gonna do with it, huh?

- What are you gonna do with it?
- Well, golly!

Since I was the one that decided to give
yesterday's winnings to the Red Cross,

I think it's only fair
to turn all this money over to you.

To me?

You really mean it, Pyle?

- To me?
- I sure do, Sergeant.

This time, you pick the charity.
After all, fair is fair!