All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S02E13 Gomer Minds His Sergeants Car 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

Phone call, Sarge.

Yeah, who is it?

Sergeant Firsky over at headquarters.

Okay, tell him I'll be right there.

Boy, Sarge, you really keep this car
beautifully.

- Watch it, Boyle.
- Hm?

Watch it.
I don't want you to smudge it up.

I didn't even touch it.

Well, I know, but there may
be some dust on your uniform,

and that could get on the car.
So just stand back.

I'm sorry. If I realized I was going
to be in the vicinity of your car,

I would have had my uniform sterilized.

Never mind the smart remarks.
Just tell Firsky to hang on.

I've got a ribbon,
if you want to wrap it as a gift.

Yeah, I found him.
He'll be here in a minute.

Guess what he was doing. [chuckles]

Right, you'd think
he was married to that car.

Here he is now.

Hey, Sarge, who's watching the car?

[groaning]

Sergeant Carter here.

What? San Francisco, what for?

You're kidding.

Okay, sure, sure, I'll bring him back.

Sure, sure. So long.

What's up?

Remember that guy, Franklin,
that used to be in our outfit?

Franklin, sure, the guy
who was AWOL for three weeks.

Yeah, well, they found him
in San Francisco.

They want me to take a plane up there
right away and bring him back to the base.

Hey, this isn't the first time
he's been AWOL.

Are you kidding? He's been out and back
so many times, they him Yoyo Franklin.

But I'm gonna get him back here
this time once and for all.

How long will you be gone?

Well, I should be back tomorrow.

Is the Jeep here?

No, Gordon had to take it into town.

Well, how am I going
to get to the airport?

Take your car,
and park it overnight at the airport lot.

And come back
and find it all scratched up?

The guy next to you opens
his door against your car

and makes all them little
nicks and scratches. No, sir!

Listen. Why don't you drive
me out to the airport

and bring my car back here?

I can't, Sarge. I've got guard duty.

Oh, that's right. I forgot.

Wait a minute.

You would let me drive
your car to the airport?

Sure, why not?

I thought you had
to be at least a captain.

I'll check the barracks.

Boy, you really go all out when
you do something, huh, Gomer?

Take care of your things,
and your things will take care of you.

Keep thy shop,
and thy shop will keep thee.

You know who used to say that?

Benjamin Franklin?

No, Grandma Pyle.
Did Benjamin Franklin say it, too?

Yeah.

All right, you people, I need a volunteer.

Slater, you're it. You have to drive me
to the airport right now.

I can't, Sarge.
I don't have a driver's license.

Huh?

Okay, Gilette, you just won the prize.

You have to drive me
to the airport in my car

and then bring it right back here.
You got a license?

No, Sergeant.

Oh.

Hey, Frisby, you got a driver's license?

- Sure, I do.
- Okay, let's go. You'll drive me.

Sure, Sarge, be glad to.

What happened to your head?

Oh, nothing, I was just driving when
this guy in front of me stopped short.

So I plowed into him.

Forget it! You're not driving my car.

You got a driver's license, Pyle?

I sure have, Sergeant.

I got a license,
and I'm a very good driver.

Never have had an accident.

I had a feeling you'd end up with me.

- Yeah.
- It's the reason I didn't say nothing.

- I didn't want to push myself.
- Okay.

I'd be proud and honored
to drive your car.

Well--

And I'll take good care of it, too.

Keep thy shop,
and thy shop will keep thee.

Do you know who used to say that a lot?
Grandma Pyle and Benjamin Franklin.

Pyle, do you think you could drive me out
to the airport in my car

and then bring it right back here
without anything happening?

- Well, sure, Sergeant.
- Swear.

Huh?

Nothing, I just wanted to make sure that
nothing happened to my car, that's all.

Golly, nothing will happen to your car.

Why, if anything happens to that car,
I hope it happens to me, too.

Don't worry. It will.

All right, you know where I park my car.
Meet me there in ten minutes.

Don't forget to wash your hands.

Golly!

Looks just like a brand-new car, Sergeant.

You sure do keep it shiny.

Don't touch it, Pyle.

I didn't mean to scare you.
It's a thing with me.

Fingerprints drive me crazy. Now get in.

I want to make sure you can drive it.

Now what's the first thing you do?

Well, the first thing I like to do
whenever I drive a strange car

is get the feel of the brakes.

Good, good.

Next, it's important to get the feel
of the wheel in your hands.

See how much play there is in it.

Good thinking.

It's just right,
just the right amount of play.

Good. Now remember, these are the lights.

That's the windshield wiper.
That's the cigarette lighter.

If you don't mind, Pyle, I'd rather
you didn't smoke in the car.

Oh, you don't have to worry about that,
Sergeant. I don't smoke.

Yeah, well, if you take it up,
don't do it in the car.

That's the directional indicator.

That's the handbrake.

Dang, Sergeant, I know all that.

Well, it never hurts
to go over these things.

Now are you sure you can handle it?

Absolutely, positively.

Okay, now move over. I'll drive.

Okay, Pyle, there should only
be 14 and 8/10 more miles

on the car when I get back

because that's the distance
from here to the base and back.

Now from here on,
you're in charge of the car.

Right, Sergeant.

Come on. I want to tell you
a few more things.

Remember, cover the car with the cover.

Don't worry, Sergeant. I will.

Make sure you tuck it in under the wheel
so no sand blows against the hubcaps.

You can count on me. I'll tuck it in
just like it was a baby in a cradle.

Yeah, and remember,
Pyle, no speeding.

20, 25 miles an hour
is enough for anybody.

I'll be careful.

And don't turn on the heater.
It may make you sleepy.

I won't, Sergeant.

Let's see. Did I forget anything?

I don't think so. Let's see.

Don't turn on the radio.
Don't turn on the heater.

Don't go over 25 miles an hour.

Don't open the vents or the windows.
Don't jam on the brakes.

Don't smoke in the car.
Don't forget to signal.

Don't drive one-handed,
and don't race the motor.

Right, have a nice ride back.

Okay, Sergeant, you have a nice trip.

And remember, Pyle,
I'll be back this time tomorrow.

I want to see that car
the same way as I left it,

right there where I left it.

Don't worry, Sergeant. I'll take care
of it just like it's my very own.

It's gone!

Sergeant Carter's car is gone!

All right, now let's have all the details.

Stolen car.

- See, I was parked out at the airport.
- Hold it. Hold it.

First, a few other things.

Name?

Pyle, Gomer Pyle.

All right, Pyle, when did you
first discover your car was missing?

Well, it's not my car. It's my sergeant's.

All right, let's try it again.

Now whose car was stolen?

That's the name I want,
the name the car is registered under.

Carter, Sergeant Vincent Carter.

You see, Sergeant Carter
went to San Francisco.

And he asked me to drive him.

Okay, Pyle, when did you first
discover your car was missing?

When I went to get in it.

When was that?

Oh, I'd say it was just about...

Well, it couldn't have been too long.

I'd say it was just about...

Maybe just about just a short time ago.

Pyle, I can't type all
that in this little space.

Now just give me a time.
How long ago was it?

Oh, I'd say about ten minutes ago.

Maybe 20.

Thirty tops.

Look, Pyle, this isn't
a multiple choice exam.

Just stick with one answer.

I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous.
Golly, do you think you'll find it?

We'll probably have a better chance
if we know what kind of car it was.

Now what kind was it?

- It's a Dodge.
- What year?

1961, but it looks brand new.

He keeps his car in real tip-top shape.

What color?

Well, I guess you'd call it a two-tone.

It's white on the top
and red on the bottom.

Or was it red on the top
and white on the bottom?

No, it was white on the top
and red on the bottom.

Of course, the red
was kind of a raspberry.

Golly, I hate to rush you, officer,

but I've just got to find that car
before Sergeant Carter gets back tomorrow.

Look, we have to fill out these forms.

Besides, 80% of the time,

stolen cars are usually found abandoned
somewhere within three or four days.

Three or four days?

But I've got to have it back by tomorrow.

- Gomer!
- Yeah.

What happened? You sounded terrible
on the phone. They find it?

No, what am I gonna do?
Sergeant Carter's gonna kill me.

He's just gonna kill me.
He's gonna kill me dead.

Look, Carter can't be mad at you.
It wasn't your fault.

Yes, it was.
I should have taken the keys out.

You left the keys in the car?

Sergeant Carter is gonna come back
tomorrow.

And he's gonna look for his car,
and he's gonna say, "Where's my car?"

And I'm gonna say, "Gone."
And he's gonna say, "Gone?"

And then he's gonna grab me. He's gonna
kill me. He's gonna kill me dead.

Gomer, Gomer, get a grip on yourself.

All right, now come on.

The sooner we finish this, the better
our chances are of finding the car.

Were there any obvious marks?

[phone rings]

Dugan.

Really? What make?

Hold on a second.

This might be your lucky day.
They just found an abandoned car.

What year, Freddy?

'61. He thinks it's a '61.

That's it. That's it.

Bless you, officer. Bless the officer
that found it. Bless you all.

Where is it?

Yeah, where's it at?

No kidding?

Do they know where it is?

It's in the ocean.

It's in the ocean!

They found the car, and it's in the ocean.

In the ocean?

Duke, Sergeant Carter's car's
in the ocean.

Oh, golly, golly, golly, golly, golly.

Oh, look, Pyle. Maybe this isn't
your sergeant's car.

Why don't you wait before you panic?

Duke, Sergeant Carter's car
is down there in that water.

And he's gonna come back.
And he'll say, "Why is my car so wet?"

And I'm gonna say, "On account
of they found it in the ocean."

And then he's gonna kill me.
He's gonna kill me dead.

- Look, Gomer, relax, will you?
- Relax? I can't relax.

Well, you've got to.
My fingers are going numb.

I'm sorry, Duke.

But what am I gonna do if that's
Sergeant Carter's car down there?

Well, first, you get a great, big blotter.

That ain't funny, Duke.
It just ain't funny.

I'm sorry.

[Dugan] Any second now.

Here it comes.

I can't look.

Oh, please, don't be the Sergeant's car,
please, please, please.

Look, Gomer, it's not your fault.
It could have happened to anybody.

It's just as much his fault for leaving
the keys in the car. You think about that?

- No, I didn't.
- Well, think about it.

Why didn't he take the keys out?

You remind him of that
when he gets back.

I will. You're darn right.
And then he'll kill me dead.

[Dugan] There it is.

Well, Pyle, is that it?

That's a station wagon. You see that,
Duke? That ain't the Sergeant's car.

Yeah, you're right.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Ain't that wonderful?

I thought that was gonna be the
Sergeant's car down there. But it's not.

That's not the Sergeant's car.
What a lucky thing.

That ain't the Sergeant's car.

But if that ain't the Sergeant's car,
then where is the Sergeant's car?

Let's go.

Gee, is there any other
place we could go and look?

Well, we'd just be running around
in circles.

The only thing to do is wait
and sit tight.

But maybe if we--

[man on radio] Abandoned car reported in an empty lot

on the corner of Fairview and Essex,
cars in the vicinity, investigate at once.

Abandoned car reported
in an empty lot

- on the corner of Fairview and Essex.
- That could be it, Gomer!

Golly, maybe that's it. Do you think?

Come on.

Well, is that Sergeant Carter's car,
or isn't it?

It could have been repainted.

No, that isn't it, or wasn't it.

Maybe something came in
while we were gone.

No, not a thing.

Well, there's nothing to do now but wait.

I'll call you if I hear anything.

Call me? What do you mean?

Why don't you go back to the base
and get a good night's rest.

But I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink.
Please, let me stay here and wait.

It wouldn't do any good, kid.

Why don't you go back to camp,
get some sleep?

But I've just got to stay here
till I find that car.

Look, Gomer, it might not show up
for days, weeks, maybe never.

Don't say that, Duke. Bite your tongue.

Those are the facts,
you might as well face them.

But what about Sergeant Carter?
He's coming back tomorrow.

When he gets off that plane,
he's going to say, "Where's my car?"

- And I'm going to say, "Your car--"
- Yeah, we know.

- Then he's going to kill me dead.
- [Dugan] Go on, Pyle.

Go on back to the base. I promise
to call you first thing in the morning.

- Well--
- Come on, buddy. Get a good night's sleep.

You'll feel better tomorrow.

Okay, but you promise to call me
first thing in the morning.

[Dugan] First thing.

He loved that car so much.

It was his whole life, and now it's gone.

And when he comes back,
I'm going to be gone, too.

You want to know why?

'Cause he's gonna get off that plane.
He's gonna say, "Where's my car?"

I'm gonna say, "Well, I parked your car
in the parking lot, but it was stolen."

And then he's gonna...

[Carter] I want to see that car
the same way as I left it...

the same way as I left it,
the same way as I left it.

Pyle. Pyle. Hey!

- Did you find the car?
- Wake up, Pyle.

Officer Dugan, I'm sorry, but
I just couldn't sleep back at the base.

Want some coffee?

No, thank you. Is there anything new?

I just got in. Let's take a look.

Well, what do you know?

What's it say?

A stolen car was spotted
just an hour ago.

It answers your description.

Does it say where?

190th and Merrivale.
That's on the outskirts of town,

where they're building
the new housing project.

Oh, glory be. Glory be!

Well, keep your fingers crossed.

I guess that's it over there.

I don't believe it.
I just don't believe it!

This is it!

This is the car.

This is Sergeant Carter's car.

Hallelujah.

And it's perfect. It's just perfect.
I can't believe it.

You're a lucky man, Pyle.

And all because of you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Duke, I've got to call Duke.

Phone booth over there.

Hello. Camp Henderson?

I'd like to speak to Private First Class
Duke Slater in B Company, please.

It's an emergency.

Yahoo!

Hello, Duke. It's me, Gomer.

Guess what?

Right, we found the car.

Uh-huh.

Yes, just this minute.

It's way out here at the far end of town.

And guess what, Duke?
There ain't a scratch on it.

Ain't that something, there ain't
the teeniest, little scratch on it.

DUKE [on phone] Hello, Gomer?

Gomer? Gomer, what happened?

Hello? Hello?

It's terrible, just terrible,
and it's stupid.

- There's just no excuse.
- A case of negligence is what I'd say.

Do you have anything to add
to what the officer said, son?

He's been that way ever since it happened.

That's why I came here, Mr. Gibbons.
Is there anything you can do?

Well, it shouldn't be too big
of a problem.

I'll just turn it over
to my insurance company.

I'm certain that after 30 or 60 days,
they'll be able to satisfy the claim.

[moaning]

What's the matter?

You see, his sergeant
is coming back today.

He had the car all ready
to return to him,

if it hadn't been for the fact
that one of your men

left that crane unsecured.

[moaning]

So, that's how it is for the lad.

Mr. Gibbons, you were
in the service once, I'm sure.

Can you imagine being in a spot
like that with your sergeant?

Yes.

Yes!

Come on.

How do you like it, Pyle?
If you do, it's all yours.

Or I should say, your sergeant's.

Shazam!

I never heard Shazam before,
but I think it means he likes it.

I've made a lot of fast purchases before,
but this one beats them all.

What time is your sergeant due in?

Oh, golly, I've just about got time
to make it out to the airport.

Well, then, get going.

I can't thank you enough,
Mr. Gibbons, and you, too, Officer Dugan.

Better hurry, Pyle.

I almost forgot. You got the keys?

- They're in your hand.
- Oh!

- Hey, Sergeant.
- Hello, Pyle.

How was your trip?

- Where's my car?
- Hey, Franklin.

You remember me, Gomer Pyle?

Of course, you might have forgotten.

You haven't been around lately,
but welcome home.

He's not a war hero, Pyle. He was AWOL.

Now where's my car? Where is it?

Well, it's right over there.

Where? I don't see my car.

I know. That's what I got to explain.

Maybe I'd better start at the beginning.
I don't care where you start. Just start!

Where's my car?

Well, you see, right after you left
yesterday,

I went back to get your car.

But I didn't really go back to your car

because when I went back to your car,
your car wasn't there.

What are you trying to tell me?

What is it? Where is my car, huh?

Well, your car was stolen.

Stolen? My car was--

Wait. See, I left the keys in it,
but then I went right to the police.

Pyle, where is my car? Where is it?

Like I say, it's right over there.

- And do you know where they found it?
- They found it?

They sure did.
It's parked right on the street,

right near where they was
tearing this building down.

There wasn't a scratch on it.

And then this big steel ball fell on it

and just smashed your car
to smithereens.

My car?

But the owner of the construction company
felt so bad about it,

he wanted you to have
this new 1966 car with his compliments.

So like I said, there's your car.

Free, just like that?

And you ain't kidding?

This is really my car?

Your keys.

Don't touch it, Pyle.

Oh, boy, what a stroke of luck,
what a stroke of luck!

I can't yell at you, Pyle. You were lucky.

And your luck was my luck.

But remember, it was just your luck,

and that doesn't wipe out the fact
that you were careless.

- I know, but--
- No excuses, Pyle, you were careless.

You never, never, leave the keys in a car.

Well, I was just--

I know what you were gonna say.

You were gonna say
it was just a short time.

But no matter how short a time,
you never leave the keys in a car.

Do you know how long it takes,
Pyle, to just turn,

to just turn a little key in a lock?

No time at all, Pyle.

So, you never, you never leave the keys...

Sergeant, do you know you're right?

You can't leave a key anywhere anymore.

Where is he?

Where's my prisoner?

Don't forget, Pyle.
I'll catch the next plane out,

so, tell Boyle to take over for me.

I may not be back till late tomorrow
or the next day.

Okay, Sergeant, are you sure
that Franklin is on that plane?

Yeah, they radioed the pilot.

He said they'll hold Franklin for me
when the plane lands in Phoenix.

Just my luck, he wouldn't
jump a plane to San Francisco.

No, he has to go all the way
to Arizona.

That boy needs an air credit card.

Very funny, Pyle, you just get
back to the base, understand?

Yes, sir.

And you just take care of this car.

Don't worry, Sergeant.
I won't let it out of my sight.

Make sure you don't,

because we wouldn't want to have this
nice, brand-new car stolen, would we?

No, sir.

But we don't have to worry about that,
do we?

Uh-uh.

Good. Okay, Pyle, I gotta be going.
So long.

So long, Sergeant.