All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S02E10 Gomer State Witness 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

[humming]

You like what you see in that mirror,
huh, Sarge?

I do indeed.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the sharpest of them all?

[growls and barks]

[laughs]

Hey, Sarge, all right if I come in?

There's not much point in asking
after you're in, Pyle.

What do you want?

[Gomer] I just come by to pick up my pass.

Your pass?

You have the nerve to stand there
and ask me for a pass

after the week you put in?

Think, Pyle, think. Was there any day
this week you didn't foul up? Was there?

Wednesday wasn't too bad.

Wasn't that the day you drove
a Jeep into four feet of water?

And that was your good day.

They got it out.

Pyle, do you know how much it costs
to rent one of them hoists?

And you have the nerve to ask me
for a pass after a week like that.

No. But I sure would like one.

They got something special in town.
It's a flower show.

And I'm just dying to see it.

A flower show?

Uh-huh, they got
a particular nasturtium

that I sure would like to see.

You're kidding, right, Pyle?

No, Sergeant.
I sure would appreciate if you let me

go on pass so I could see
that particular nasturtium.

Pyle.

[Gomer] Did you ever see a nasturtium
proper grown?

Oh, it's a sight.

You see, Sergeant,
nasturtiums is natural climbers.

And if you let them,
they'll just grow right on--

All right, Pyle. All right.

Anybody with a reason
that good deserves it.

Here. There's your pass.

Thank you, Sergeant.
I sure do appreciate it.

You look like you're getting
ready to go out, too.

Yeah.

There's a particular nasturtium
that I'm just dying to see, too.

Do tell. Are you going
to flower show too?

- Well, maybe we can--
- No, Pyle.

I ain't going to a flower show.

Well, even if you're not,
fact is any time at your convenience,

maybe we could get together later on
for ice cream soda or something.

Maybe.

That is, if you'd like.

You're kidding, Pyle.

Me have a soda with you?

Me and you?

Pyle, even if your work
was perfect, perfect, mind you,

you and me would never
be going out together. Never!

Well, we have before. Twice to be exact.

Those were accidents of fate, Pyle.

Accidents of fate.

I would never in my right mind

plan an evening with you
unless it was an accident of fate.

Well, I just thought I'd ask.

You did not think, Pyle,
or you wouldn't have asked.

A private going out with a sergeant?

You must be out of your skull, Pyle.

Besides, if I did go out with a private,

it would never be with a lame-brained,
lunk-headed goofball like you.

Now take your pass and get out of here
before I change my mind.

Right, Sergeant, and thank you.

How about that?

Pushy, isn't he?

Very pushy.

Hey, you want anything else, Private?

No, thank you, ma'am.

Hey, you want to smell
something pretty?

Mm. Nice. Where'd you get them?

- At the flower show.
- They're beautiful.

Hey, if you're going, I think I ought
to warn you about something.

Yeah?

The nasturtiums is a big disappointment.

They are?

I mean, they're all right.
But don't expect too much.

Oh, I won't. I never do from nasturtiums.

- [tires screech]
- They're going to hit! They're going--

[crashing]

Hey, what happened?

I seen the whole thing.
I seen the whole thing happen.

Golly, the way some people drive.

This is a Main Street, pal,
not the San Diego Freeway.

What are you doing? Drag racing?

Look, buster, nobody
asked you to stop on a dime.

I knew they was going to hit.
I just knew it.

I was sitting here looking out
the window just like I am now.

Shazam!

What happened? Somebody give you
new brakes for Christmas?

I slowed down to make a left hand turn.

What do I look like? A mind reader?

Next time try signaling.
Let everybody in on it.

Why don't you wake up? I did signal.

- You did not.
- I did, too.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

That's my sergeant.
That's Sergeant Carter. He's my sergeant.

Can I have my check, please, ma'am?

Oh, sure.

I'm going to go out there
and see if I can help.

Okay, okay.

Bacon, lettuce,
and tomato sandwich.

Let's see, that's, uh...
Ain't that something.

That's the one price I always forget. Will
you wait a second? I'll check the menu.

I was not speeding.
Just ask the girl with me.

Why ask her? How bright can she be
if she's out with you?

[Carter] Give me your license.
Give me your license.

That is, if they ever gave you one.

I'll take yours, too, wise guy.

Hey, Vince.

[horn honks]

What are you doing?

I'm hungry!

Bacon, lettuce, and
tomato sandwich is 65 cents.

And an ice cream soda is, uh, 30 cents.

- Now is that all?
- Yes, ma'am.

Okay. Um...

Five and zero is five,
carry the nothing.

Six and two is eight.

Oh, darn.

I do that every time.

Vince.

Hey, Vince.

[horn honks]

Can't you see I'm doing something?

I'm hungry!

Hungry? Didn't you see
what this guy did to me?

I didn't see nothing.
I had my eyes closed.

All I could see was a big juicy steak.
Now, when are we going to eat?

Here, loud mouth. I'll see you in court.

I hope for your sake you saved your money.

Don't worry. I'll be there.

Move over.

Take my advice. Don't drive to court
or you'll never get there.

Now are we going to eat?

Eat, eat, eat.
That's all you think about, is eat.

[indistinct argument]

What happened to the other fellow?

Nothing compared
to what's going to happen to him.

Where'd he go?

If he's smart he went
to look for a good lawyer.

That's a shame. I was sitting right
over there in that window.

And I seen the whole thing happen.

I even said, "Hey, they're going to hit."

And then, crash.

Hey, wait a minute.

You saw it happen?

I was sitting over there in that window.

And I said,
"Hey, they're going to hit."

You mean you saw the way
he hit me right in the back?

I seen the whole thing.
I said, "Hey, they're going--"

I mean, me just minding
my own business,

waiting to make a left hand turn.
You saw that?

- I seen the whole thing. I said, "Hey--"
- What's your name?

Gomer. Gomer Pyle.
See, the fellow in the accident--

Gomer, how would you like
to be a witness in court?

Me? A witness in court?

Golly.

Well, you're the only eyewitness we have.

An eyewitness?
Well, that sure sounds exciting.

You'll be a wonderful witness.

Well, thank you. Uh...?

Fred. Fred Cummins.

I'm pleased to know you, Fred.
Like I was saying, that other fellow--

Now, let me get your name and address.

You'll be hearing from my lawyer
in the next day or two.

And, uh, Gomer, just make sure you don't
discuss any of this before the trial.

Yes, sir. You'll be a great witness.

Seen the whole thing.

[Carter] Okay. Go ahead, buddy.

See how far you get. Yeah?

Well, we'll see about that.

That miserable creep. That no good--

- What's up, Sarge?
- I just got a call. That guy's suing me.

Suing you? What for?

That accident I had.
How do you like that guy? He's suing me.

So? You got insurance, haven't you?

Sure. But it's the principle of the thing.

Why should my insurance company
have to pay for that?

Well, was the accident your fault?
I mean, how did it happen?

That creep stopped right in front of me
so I smacked into him.

Well, did he signal he was going to stop?

Huh?

Did he?

I don't remember.

Well, if he didn't signal
then you're okay.

Oh. I don't remember.

- I don't think he did.
- Well, were there any witnesses?

No. Those things happen so fast
nobody ever really sees them.

Well then, what are you worried about?
There was no eyewitness.

It's just your word against his.

The word of a stalwart, upstanding,
20-year Marine

who fought for his country
against the word of a civilian.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, maybe I ought to sue him, huh?

[laughs]

Hey, that's one good thing.

No witnesses, huh? [laughs]

Hey, Sergeant.

What do you want, Pyle?

I just come by to tell you something.
Guess what?

I'm going to have to appear in court.

Court? What have you done now?

Well, it's about that accident
you had yesterday.

I hadn't seen you,
so I hadn't had a chance to tell you.

But I seen the whole thing,
that accident you had.

Huh? You saw it?

That's right.

I was sitting there staring out
the window at the coffee shop

when all of a sudden, crash.

I seen the whole thing.

Yeah?

I come out there as fast as I could
but you'd already gone.

So I talked to Fred for a few minutes.

Fred?

Uh-huh, you know, Fred Cummins,
the fellow whose car got all smashed up.

I stayed with him till the tow truck come.

Tow truck.
His car wasn't wrecked that bad.

Oh, he wasn't so worried about his car.

He was afraid to drive
with his back hurting like it was.

Well, I'll see you later.

Uh, look, Pyle. It wasn't my fault.

You saw the whole thing.
It was his fault, right?

Well, maybe I said too much already.

I was told not to discuss
the case till the trial comes up.

Well, I better get back.

[Boyle] So, there was a witness, Sarge.

Too bad it had to be that one.

Huh? What do you mean?

Remember when Pyle was in here
yesterday

and suggested you go out
for a soda together?

Remember how you told him off?
Remember those things you called him?

I remember. What are you getting at?

Just this.

Pyle would be an idiot not to spring
at the chance to get back at you.

I mean, he wouldn't be human if he didn't
take advantage of a set up like this.

Anyone else, yeah. But Pyle?

- We've been together since boot camp.
- Sure, Vince.

- I'm the only sergeant he's ever had.
- Uh-huh.

He's loyal to me.
- Uh-huh.

I'm dead, ain't I?

Like I say, it's a golden opportunity
for the private.

He just won't be the friendliest
witness you might have.

That's great. Oh, that's just great.

Well, what am I supposed to do now?

Well, it might help
if Pyle just wasn't around.

I need you to tell me that?

It's too bad Pyle doesn't
have a furlough coming up or something.

I was looking over the furlough list
and I couldn't believe my eyes.

I don't know how I missed it.

You've been in the Marines
for over a year

and you've had only one furlough.
You're entitled to another.

Really, Sergeant. Are you sure?

I'm positive.

And I'm going to see that you get it,
immediately, a two week furlough.

Two weeks? Shazam.

Well, I can't thank you enough, Sergeant.

Oh, well, you don't have to thank me,
Pyle. You have it coming.

Well, thank you, anyhow. Thanks a million.

I'm going to write home right now
and tell them I'm coming. What a surprise.

When you came in here, I bet you didn't
expect anything like this, huh?

- I sure didn't.
- [they laugh]

Sergeant Carter?

Yeah, that's me.

[server] I got a summons for you, Sergeant.

Some accident you had. You're being sued.

Now, can you tell me where
I can find PFC Gomer Pyle?

I'm Gomer Pyle.

Got one for you too, Private.

I understand you are the only witness.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Ah, heck. What a shame, Sergeant.

Now I won't be able
to go on that furlough.

Boy, I sure am glad you two
invited me for dinner.

There ain't nothing better than good food
and good conversation.

Just think, here we are
socializing together, you and me.

I didn't think that's
possible after what you said,

you know, about us getting together
only through accident of fate.

Is this an accident of fate, Sergeant?

Huh?

Oh, no. No.

When I said a sergeant
doesn't socialize with a private,

it was, uh, because of time.

Yeah, that's it. Time.

You see,
time is the greatest enemy of mankind.

All of us have so much to do
and so little time to do it.

Why, I'd love to get to know
all the men in the platoon

but I just don't have the time.

So, I have to narrow it down
to the one or two men I like the best.

Golly.

Now, have you had enough to eat?
Would you like anything else?

No thank you, Sergeant.
I think I've eaten plenty.

Well, there's plenty more if you want it.
Ain't there, Bunny?

Of course. There's plenty of food
left in the house.

Two cans of tuna and a bottle of ketchup.

I don't think I could eat another bite.
I'm just as contented as I can be.

Then why don't you sit down on the sofa
and relax

while Bunny and me do the dishes.

Gee, can't I help you do the dishes?

There seems to be a big load of them.

- Well, sure--
- We wouldn't hear of it.

We don't mind doing the dishes,
do we, Bun?

Of course not. I like washing dishes.

[laughs]

Well, why don't you just take your coffee
over to the sofa, Pyle.

Thank you, Sergeant.

I'll be back in a minute.

[laughs]

- You're kidding.
- Look, Bunny--

It's all a big joke, right?

Sh! He'll hear you.

How can he?
He's stuffed to his ears with food.

Sh! You know why I'm doing this.

If he's a hostile witness against me
in court tomorrow, I'll be ruined.

So, all I'm trying to do is to make sure
he's not a hostile witness. That's all.

You should have gone out and hired
a good lawyer like I told you.

Good lawyers cost money.

I don't need a lawyer as long
as Pyle ain't a hostile witness.

So, please, Bunny, be a sport.
Be nice to him, just for tonight.

Well, why do I have to be nice to him?

We can do the dishes later.

Now, come on. Let's keep him entertained.

I've got to make sure he ain't hostile.

Know who's hostile?

I'm hostile.

Bunny, please.

You sure got some swell records here.
I mean, good records for dancing.

Pyle's one of the best dancers
on the base, Bunny.

How about that?

Oh, he's terrific. Go ahead.
Dance with him. See for yourself.

Well...

Go ahead. I love to watch good dancers.

Yeah. It's okay with me.

But, why I'm sure Gomer's too tired.

For dancing?
I ain't never too tired for dancing.

[light music plays]

[music ends]

[she groans]

Well, that was sure fun.
That's the first time I ever danced

a whole long playing record
without stopping.

You're a good dancer, Miss Bunny.
Did you know that?

I... [pants]

[groans]

You having a good time, Pyle?

Am I? I haven't had so much
fun in a long, long time.

Good. Good.

- You know the best part?
- What?

Being out with such good friends.

That is the most important thing in life,
Pyle. Friends.

I believe that, Sergeant. I really do.

No matter where you are
or what you're doing,

it doesn't mean a thing
if you don't have a friend.

So true. So true.

You can be the richest man
in the whole world.

What good is it
if you don't have a friend?

Amen, Sergeant. Amen and double amen.

And when times are good, you should
always share them with a friend.

Isn't that right, Pyle?

Right, Sergeant. And when times is bad,

who else can you depend on
except a friend?

You know something, Pyle?
You and me think alike.

Yes, we do.

And we're friends, aren't we, Pyle?

You're not only my friend,
you're my best friend.

Aw, that's really important to me, Pyle.

Because when a man's on trial,
he needs a friend.

I guess I'm just lucky
that the only witness to that accident

happens to be my friend.

Right, Sergeant.

And ain't it a shame
that the court's the only place

where a friendship don't count.

In court, whether you're a friend
or an enemy,

you've got to tell the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth.

The whole evening.
I spent an entire evening with him.

I gave him dinner.
I let him dance with my girl.

Nothing. He's not going
to be a friendly witness.

- You're sure, huh?
- Well, it's like you said.

He wouldn't be human
if he didn't take advantage of this.

I have been leaning on him
for over a year.

Now comes a golden opportunity for him.

Oh, I can see it coming.

Sarge, will you sign these papers, please?

Do you have to bother me with that stuff
now? I go on trial in an hour. Remember?

What are you bugging me with that for?

I'm sorry, Sarge.

But these are the day's duty rosters
and they need your signature.

[groans]

Yeah.

Yeah.

Boyle, this entire roster
has to be retyped.

What's wrong with it?

Plenty.

There's a name missing.

Pyle.

Private First Class Gomer Pyle.

What are you talking about, Sarge?
He's got to be at your trial.

Why, if his name were
on that duty roster...

Retype it, Boyle.

And this time, do it right.

Cummings versus Carter.

[clears throat] Uh, your honor, on behalf of my client,

I'd like to request
the court's indulgence.

Are you telling me that your witness
still hasn't shown up?

[lawyer] Your honor,
you've been very patient.

But I'm sure we won't
have to wait much longer.

We'd better not.

[Gomer] Hey, everybody. Sorry I'm late.

Hey, Sergeant.
I didn't miss nothing, did I?

You know why I'm late?

You put my name on the duty roster
by mistake.

You forgot all about
me being an eyewitness.

When I explained to the officer
of the day, he let me go.

Will you approach the bench, please?

- Who, me?
- Both of you.

You were a witness to this accident?

Yes, your honor. The eyewitness.
The only one.

Sergeant, is it true that you
assigned this man to duty

knowing that he was due
here in this court?

Uh, well, I--

I think it was just a mistake, your honor.

Sergeant Carter's been real good to me,
especially lately.

Especially lately?

Uh-huh.

Couple of days ago, he tried to get me
to go on a two week furlough.

And just last night he took me to dinner
with his girlfriend. That's her there.

Hey, Bunny. She's a real good dancer.

Counselor, in view of this information,
do you still want to call this witness?

[Gomer] That won't make any difference.

I know that a witness has to be 100% fair.

Well in spite of the irregularity,
your honor, my client has no objection.

Very well. Um, you can sit down, Sergeant.

Bailiff, swear in the witness.

Raise your right hand.
Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, nothing but the truth?

I certainly do.

And now will you tell the court
your name, please?

Private First Class Gomer Pyle,

United States Marine Corps,
serial number 42050227.

If I'm going too fast, just let me know.

Now, Private, on the afternoon
of October 15 of this year,

did you witness an automobile accident?

I sure did.

Now, will you tell us exactly
what did you see?

Well, I was sitting in this coffee shop
right by the window.

And I was staring out
just watching the people go by,

when all of the sudden I seen these
two cars coming down the road.

All of the sudden the car in front
stopped to make a left hand turn.

And the car in back just kept coming.

I could see that they was going to hit.

I even said to myself, "They're going
to hit. They're going to hit."

And the car in back, the one driven
by the defendant Sergeant Carter,

crashed into the car in front.

Yes, sir. That's what happened all right.

Well, your honor, there seems no doubt
that this is a case of blatant negligence

on the part of the defendant
Sergeant Carter.

Well, there's a little more
to the story than that.

Don't you want to hear it all?

Sergeant Carter didn't hardly slow down.

Oh, yes, yes. Do go on, Private.

But that's probably because
he didn't have time to.

You see, the other driver, Mr. Cummins,
he stopped real short

and he didn't give a signal.

Sergeant Carter's got real good eyesight

and he would have seen that signal,
all right.

I think the trouble was he was paying
too much attention to Miss Bunny.

Miss Bunny's a real pretty girl.

I can understand
why he likes to look at her.

But I can't understand why Mr. Cummins
would be driving

when his brake lights don't work.

That causes a lot of accidents,
Mr. Cummins.

And so does speeding.

And I think Sergeant Carter
was speeding a little.

And I don't understand why Mr. Cummins
was making a left hand turn

from a right hand lane.

If Sergeant Carter had been looking,
he would've seen what was going to happen.

- [bangs gavel]
- All right. All right. I've heard enough.

Sergeant Carter, Mr. Cummins,
come up here.

Now, from the testimony of this witness,

it is all too apparent
that both of you are at fault.

And not only that, but as drivers,
you were a menace to public safety.

Now if I hear that either one of you
commit some other infraction,

even if it's only overtime parking,

I personally will see that
you lose your driver's license.

- Case dismissed.
- [bangs gavel]

Sergeant. I'm sorry I had to say
all them things about you

but I swore to tell the truth.

Yeah, Pyle. Yeah.

Everything turned out all right, though,
with the case being dismissed and all.

Yeah, sure.

Why don't we celebrate tonight?

What say we go over to your house,
Miss Bunny, and dance and dance and dance.

I sure do appreciate the lift, Sergeant.

Yeah.

Boy, the way they're parked, they ought
to have their heads examined.

They got me jammed in here
like a sardine.

Speaking of sardines,
where are we going to eat?

They sure do have you sandwiched
in here all right, Sergeant.

- Speaking of sandwiches, I am--
- No!

[Gomer] I think you've got just enough
room to make it, Sergeant.

I know Pyle. I can see.

Hey, look out. You're going to--

[crash]

Shazam.

Another accident.

Don't you worry, Sergeant.

I seen the whole thing
and I'll be your eyewitness.

[marching band plays]