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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:06,465
[marching band plays]
2
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,929
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle-USMC.
3
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,643
Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,606
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,955
Now, don't gobble it so fast, Henrietta.
6
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,123
Ain't nobody gonna take it away from you.
7
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,210
Just sip it nice and easy,
and don't slurp.
8
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,420
[indistinct chatter]
9
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:48,840
Gomer!
Gomer, I thought you got rid of that cat!
10
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,551
Nuh-uh. I guess she likes me.
11
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,844
You mean she likes that chow
you've been feeding her.
12
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,096
That too, I suppose.
13
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,348
I wish I could find her some fish heads.
14
00:00:56,348 --> 00:01:00,269
Cook says we only get frozen fish here,
and they don't freeze the heads.
15
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:03,355
Well, I'll rustle her up
somethin' else nice later on.
16
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:06,817
You're really asking for trouble.
You're not supposed to have any pets.
17
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,819
What's the matter with you?
A cat, he's got!
18
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:12,573
[Duke] Gomer, what is it about you brings
every stray animal to your doorstep?
19
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:16,743
I don't know. I just kind of take to them,
and they kind of take to me.
20
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,912
I like all Iivin' things.
21
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:22,499
She reminds me of Henrietta,
my cat back home.
22
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:26,211
That's the reason I call her Henrietta,
on account of she reminds me of her.
23
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:31,717
You'd have loved Henrietta. Clean? Why,
she was the cleanest cat you ever saw.
24
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,176
Pyle!
25
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,636
Hey, Sergeant.
26
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:37,681
Did I or did I not tell you
to get rid of that cat?
27
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:38,807
You did, but--
28
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:41,893
This is a Marine base,
not a home for lost animals!
29
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:45,022
I tried to get rid of her, honest,
but she just keeps comin' back.
30
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,523
She just keeps comin' back to me.
31
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,066
That's very touching.
32
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,193
I'm really sorry, Sergeant. But I'll--
33
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,862
Never mind, Pyle. It's okay.
34
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,573
You don't have to get rid of the cat.
35
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The cat is gonna get rid of you.
36
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,701
I beg your pardon?
37
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,995
You're going on a little trip, is what.
38
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,123
Now, all of you, listen up.
You're all going on a trip.
39
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,958
We just got orders to move out.
40
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,711
We're boarding ship
for three weeks of maneuvers.
41
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,548
You really mean it? We're gonna go aboard
a for-real navy ship?
42
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,134
No, it's the Good Ship Lollipop.
43
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,095
Now, all of you, I want you
to get all your gear together.
44
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,264
We're moving out tomorrow at 1900.
45
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:25,187
That means Marines only. No cats.
Is that clear, Pyle?
46
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,396
Right, Sergeant.
47
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:34,446
Well, I guess this looks like
the end of the line for us, Henrietta.
48
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,281
That's all part of bein' a Marine.
49
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:40,077
When duty calls, you just got to leave
your loved ones behind.
50
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,578
Okay, you finished your milk.
51
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:45,374
Now's as good a time as any
for you to be on your way.
52
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:48,710
Okay, now, go on, scoot.
53
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,213
Go on now, don't look back.
54
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:54,675
That's the worst thing you can do.
Look straight ahead and keep goin'.
55
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,718
Now, scoot.
56
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,137
That's a good girl.
Just keep walkin'.
57
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:03,517
If I was you, I'd hook up with a civilian.
They lead a lot more settled life.
58
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,150
Pyle! Did you say goodbye
to your whiskered friend?
59
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,193
My what?
60
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,736
The cat, the cat!
61
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:18,407
Oh, you mean Henrietta. Oh, yeah,
I expect she's back in town by now--
62
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,158
Is she gone?
63
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,411
- Yes, sir.
- Good! Now move it!
64
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,500
All right, let's straighten up
that formation! Look alive in there!
65
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,795
Come on, buckle up that chin strap!
66
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,882
That's better.
67
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,093
You too!
68
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,804
Come on, move, move, move!
69
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,190
All right, fall out! Get ready to load up!
70
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,943
You better get that cat out of here
before she follows you on the truck.
71
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,695
That's all Sergeant Carter needs.
72
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:57,946
Come on.
73
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,579
It ain't gonna do you any good
to hang around here.
74
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,080
I can't take you with me.
75
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,498
Now, go on and scoot.
76
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,671
Now, go on. You don't want
to get me in trouble, do you?
77
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,256
Please, Henrietta, go on.
78
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,635
Now, stop that.
It ain't gonna do you any good.
79
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,889
You can cuddle all you want to,
but I just can't.
80
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,111
Pyle?
81
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,824
Pyle!
82
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,662
I'm sorry, Sergeant. I forgot somethin'.
83
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,123
Let me try and guess. Your head?
84
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,458
No, it was just--
85
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,502
Are we keeping you away
from something important?
86
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:54,503
No, it's--
87
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,630
I wouldn't want to drag you away
from anything.
88
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,049
That's real considerate
of you, Sergeant, but I--
89
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,842
- Get on that truck!
- Yes, sir.
90
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,238
[bell rings]
91
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,907
Well, here it is, gentlemen,
your home away from home.
92
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,995
This is it? This is the whole thing?
93
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,622
[sailor] Yeah. Make yourself at home.
94
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,624
I hope none of you have claustrophobia.
95
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,709
What's claustrophobia?
96
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,379
That's when you're afraid
of small, closed-in places.
97
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,089
Is that what they call it?
98
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,841
Yeah, what do you call it?
99
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,760
I call it bein' afraid of small,
closed-in places.
100
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,136
Why? You got it?
101
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:48,473
No, I like it.
I think it makes things cozier.
102
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,474
Yeah, swell.
103
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,435
I hope I get the top bunk up there,
104
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,646
it'll be like sleepin'
in a tree house back home.
105
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,566
Just don't walk in your sleep.
That first step will be a beaut.
106
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,153
- Well, Navy, how's the chow in this tub?
- [sailor] The best.
107
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:05,156
You know the Navy.
We always go first-class.
108
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,703
Do you ever serve sardines
once in a while?
109
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,954
Yeah, sometimes.
110
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:13,415
- How about tuna fish?
- Yeah.
111
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,501
And fresh milk,
do you have plenty of fresh milk?
112
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,045
Of course we do.
Anything you got, we got.
113
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:27,095
Gomer, what was all that
third degree about just now?
114
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,180
Tuna fish, sardines, fresh milk?
115
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:33,351
You used to worry about that when you had
a cat, but now you don't have a cat.
116
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,646
That's right, isn't it, Gomer?
You don't have a cat?
117
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,983
Gomer, tell me
you don't have a cat to feed.
118
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,029
Well, darn it all, Duke.
I just couldn't leave her behind.
119
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,447
I just couldn't.
120
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,366
Gomer, you've gotta be out of your mind!
121
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:53,246
Sorry I had to transport you this way,
Henrietta, but it was the only way.
122
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,832
Take a deep breath
and get some fresh air in your lungs.
123
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,168
Sergeant Carter is gonna kill you!
You know that?
124
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,879
With his bare hands,
he's gonna squeeze the life out of you!
125
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,089
I ain't too happy about the prospects,
126
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:07,260
but what are you gonna do when a
poor critter curls herself around your leg
127
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,970
and begs you not to leave her behind?
128
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,973
You can give her a good, swift kick
and tell her to get lost!
129
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,725
You don't mean that, Duke.
130
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,019
You're a kind person,
and you don't mean that.
131
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,812
All right, all right.
132
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:21,483
How do you expect to keep a cat
hidden aboard a ship for three weeks?
133
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:24,194
Well, I ain't quite got that
planned out yet.
134
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,237
Oh, peachy.
135
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:31,034
It shouldn't be too much trouble. Such
a big ship and such a little-bitty cat.
136
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,411
Get that thing in the bag!
Carter's coming!
137
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:36,790
Oh, lordy. Not a peep out of you,
do you hear?
138
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,541
All right, you people listen up!
139
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:43,296
For the next day or so, we're gonna be
anchored here until the convoy assembles.
140
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,131
But that don't mean
we're on holiday!
141
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,968
Our work goes on as usual.
So let's get settled down.
142
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,721
Oh, one more thing.
I got a few important words to say,
143
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,640
so listen up real good!
144
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,978
As sharp as we are on land, we gotta be
twice as sharp on board this ship!
145
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,939
So let's don't give the Navy
any reason to think we're not!
146
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,275
During the next three weeks,
we're gonna be perfect in every way.
147
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,652
Is that clear?
148
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,862
- Aye, aye, Sergeant.
- How are we gonna be?
149
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,239
Perfect in every way.
150
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,241
I can't hear you!
151
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,534
Perfect in every way!
152
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:15,829
Okay. I've had a lot of squads
and a lot of platoons
153
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,373
on a lot of ships,
and I have a perfect record.
154
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,667
I don't want this trip
to be any different.
155
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,545
- I don't want to see--
- [Henrietta meows]
156
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:27,048
What was that? I heard something.
A kind of squeaking.
157
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,551
[high-pitched] Ahem. Ahem.
158
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,469
Was that you just now, Pyle?
159
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,514
Just now? Yes, sir, that was me.
160
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,725
You see, I ain't used to the sea air yet.
161
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,354
I don't want to see any rules broken.
I don't want to see them even slightly--
162
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,814
[Henrietta meows]
163
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,567
There it was again.
164
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,277
Ahem! Ahem! Ahem!
165
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,655
- That wasn't you this time, Pyle!
- Ahem! Ahem! Ahem!
166
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,533
Will you shut up? Get out of my way!
167
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,620
- There's somethin' I'd like to explain.
- You're out to get me.
168
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,913
Sergeant--
169
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,458
If you want to destroy me,
why don't you do it quick?
170
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,878
Shoot me, push me overboard,
but why this slow torture?
171
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,547
- Sergeant--
- You actually brought a cat aboard ship!
172
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,133
- You actually did it!
- Sergeant, I was--
173
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:14,512
Okay, Pyle, you did a real bright thing.
Now I'm gonna do a bright thing.
174
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:17,265
- What are you gonna do, Sergeant?
- You wanna know what, Pyle?
175
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:20,268
I'm gonna take this cat,
I'm going up on deck,
176
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,853
and I'm gonna throw it overboard!
177
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,688
But, Sergeant Carter, you wouldn't!
178
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,316
- Oh, wouldn't I? Just watch me!
- But, Sergeant--
179
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,109
[man over PA] Now heart his. Now hear this.
180
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:31,404
All Marines fall in topside. All Marines
fall in topside. On the double.
181
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,491
Okay, you're saved
by the bell this time.
182
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,452
When we get back from up there,
this thing goes in the drink.
183
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,120
But you can't do that, Sergeant.
184
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,915
Pyle, are you telling me
what I can and can't do?
185
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:42,999
No, sir, but--
186
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:47,170
Secure this cat until we get back.
I don't want it roaming all over the ship.
187
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,213
But, Sergeant--
188
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,090
Move it, move it! Do it!
189
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,718
Henrietta, see what trouble
you got me into?
190
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,348
In case any of you lads think
this is a pleasure cruise,
191
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,517
let me straighten you out
right here and now!
192
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:04,646
You're here to work!
You will keep your own areas policed.
193
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,315
While on deck,
you will help police the decks.
194
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,776
You will each take your turn
in the galley.
195
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,654
I'm the senior chief petty officer
aboard this ship.
196
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,240
I'm in charge of this group!
197
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,159
Obey the rules and regulations,
keep your noses clean,
198
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,036
and there won't be any trouble.
199
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,289
But if one single rule is broken,
200
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:28,169
hmm, you'll regret the day you ever
stepped aboard this ship!
201
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,671
So just keep that in...
202
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,133
Wait a minute, what's this?
203
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:37,470
What's this, what's this?
Who belongs to this?
204
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,639
Well?
205
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,599
It's mine, sir. I guess it fell
out of my pocket.
206
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,768
How did it get into your pocket?
207
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:47,480
I bought it in town. I didn't think
there'd be any harm in having a turtle.
208
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,775
See, it's just a souvenir, and I thought--
209
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,695
A turtle belongs in the ocean!
210
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,156
[splash]
211
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,492
Check your men a little
more carefully, Sergeant.
212
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,537
You know the rules about contraband.
213
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,456
There will be no contraband
aboard this ship!
214
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:08,126
Especially, pets of any kind.
215
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,962
If I find any, they'll be
keeping that turtle company!
216
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,798
I don't like contraband.
Contraband goes overboard.
217
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:18,720
Okay, now you all know
how I feel about contraband.
218
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,805
Ten-hut!
219
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,182
Dis-missed!
220
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,227
Did you see what he did
with my turtle?
221
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,562
Boy, he's a doll.
222
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,899
What's so terrible about a little turtle?
What can a turtle do?
223
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,234
You heard him. It's contraband.
224
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,820
Poor Henrietta. She's as good as gone
right now.
225
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:39,574
If he'd do that with a little turtle,
just think what he'll do with a cat.
226
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,621
Looks like you ain't gonna get to do
what you said you was gonna do, Sergeant.
227
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,580
Huh?
228
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,540
That chief petty officer
is gonna beat you to it.
229
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,084
He's gonna do it,
throw Henrietta overboard.
230
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,171
- Yeah, well, don't be so sure.
- What do you mean, Sergeant?
231
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:55,006
You heard what he said about contraband.
232
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,759
I heard, I heard!
I know about contraband!
233
00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:02,805
Nobody has to tell me about contraband.
I got something to say, too, you know.
234
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,100
You ain't on his side?
You won't let him hurt Henrietta?
235
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:10,313
If I don't want him to hurt Henrietta,
then he ain't gonna hurt Henrietta!
236
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:13,149
Sergeant Carter,
you're a wonderful human bein'
237
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,319
to be protectin' a cat that way!
A wonderful human bein'!
238
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,155
Knock it off, Pyle.
It has nothing to do with the cat!
239
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:23,743
I'm saying I'll make the decisions
about what to do with my contraband!
240
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,037
Thank you, Sergeant, thank you.
241
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,790
You ain't only savin' a cat,
but you're protectin' a mama.
242
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:31,709
Pyle, I told you
it had nothing to do...
243
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:32,710
A mama?
244
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,046
Uh-huh. Henrietta's gonna have kittens.
245
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,715
- No!
- Gomer, you're kidding!
246
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:40,093
I wouldn't kid about a thing like that.
247
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,637
That's the reason I didn't
have the heart to leave her behind.
248
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,931
I couldn't leave her alone
in that condition.
249
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,685
Why didn't you say something
for crying out loud? Why keep it a secret?
250
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,521
I knew how you felt about
havin' one cat around.
251
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,982
I was afraid to tell you
there might be six more.
252
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,566
Six!
253
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,986
It's possible. Ain't it excitin'?
254
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:01,197
Henrietta's gonna become a mama
on the high seas.
255
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,740
You mean
it could happen that soon?
256
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,367
It looks like, Sergeant.
257
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,744
Oh, what's just great!
258
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:09,831
It ain't enough we have
to hide one cat on a ship.
259
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:12,250
Now we have to hide
a whole maternity ward!
260
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,179
I can't believe it. Boy, you've pulled
some dillies in your time, Gomer,
261
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,432
but this time, you've topped yourself.
262
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,935
Bringing an expectant cat
aboard a Navy ship. Oh, brother!
263
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,187
I sure am sorry
I've caused so much trouble.
264
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,897
A lot of good that does.
265
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,983
Gomer, quick, someone's coming!
Quick!
266
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,736
Come on.
267
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,405
[Henrietta meows]
268
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,282
Never mind. It's only Sergeant Carter.
269
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,870
You sure gave me a scare, Sergeant.
270
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:52,749
Wipe that smile off your face, Pyle.
I ain't exactly in a jolly mood!
271
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:56,085
We've gotta do something to get that cat
off this bucket before it shoves off.
272
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,170
If the Navy finds out--
273
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,381
How about sticking her in a basket
and floating her to shore?
274
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,425
She could float the wrong way.
275
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,927
I sure hate the thought of puttin'
Henrietta in the water.
276
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,388
Then come up with something!
We gotta do something--
277
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,015
Quick, the CPO is coming!
278
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,308
Huh?
279
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,268
You keep that little mouth of
yours closed.
280
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,937
Sergeant, I wanna talk to you!
281
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,189
Sure--
282
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,067
No, what I want to say, I want to say
right here in front of the men!
283
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,193
Oh?
284
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,321
Well, okay, what seems to be the problem?
285
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:26,032
Yesterday, I set down
a set of rules and regulations
286
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,159
which I expected to be followed
to the tee.
287
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:31,496
One of the things I mentioned
was the subject of contraband.
288
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,665
Unfortunately, it has come to my attention
289
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:37,919
that one of your men has seen fit
to ignore these regulations
290
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,171
and has neglected to turn over to
us
291
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:43,508
contraband which he brought
aboard this ship.
292
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:46,886
Yeah, well, uh, look, I know all about it.
293
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,847
I guess it's my fault for letting it
happen in the first place.
294
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,058
Before you do anything rash,
let me explain--
295
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,686
I'm not interested
in any explanations, Sergeant!
296
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,356
You know we can't allow
a thing like that aboard ship!
297
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,401
A thing like this could affect
the whole communications system!
298
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,654
A transistor radio?
299
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,489
"Transistor radio?" Contraband!
300
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,741
I found it on one of your men up on deck!
301
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,785
You better check your men.
302
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,245
If you find any more of these,
303
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,539
they'll have to be confiscated
till after the operation.
304
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:17,166
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'll get on it right away.
305
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:18,543
You see that you do!
306
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,378
That's contraband!
307
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,005
And you know how I feel about contraband.
308
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,884
Oh, sure, sure. We all know
how you feel about contraband.
309
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,845
[laughs]
310
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:34,183
Boy, I thought Henrietta was
a dead cat for sure that time.
311
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:37,395
I can't tell you how much I appreciate
you helpin' out, Sergeant.
312
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,981
The cat lovers of America
ought to hear about this.
313
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:43,192
Yeah, swell. In the meantime,
we still got a cat on our hands.
314
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:44,861
[man over PA] Now heart his, now hear this.
315
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,947
All Marines topside for inspection
at 1100.
316
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,699
Full pack and weapons.
317
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,951
All right, that's 15 minutes from now.
Move it.
318
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,121
- Pyle, secure that cat!
- Right, Sergeant.
319
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,290
I made a leash out of
a couple of bootstraps.
320
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,000
That ought to keep her
from roamin'.
321
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,918
Tie her down good!
322
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:04,046
All right, Henrietta, I'm gonna have
to anchor you down here for a while.
323
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,048
There we go.
324
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:10,720
Now, we'll figure out somethin'.
So don't you worry about a thing.
325
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,917
- Sergeant?
- Yes, sir.
326
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,086
- Dirty weapon.
- Yes, sir.
327
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:44,021
What's wrong with you, Private?
328
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,107
What's going on, Private?
329
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,692
Uh, he hasn't been well, sir.
330
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,486
Ever since he boarded ship,
he's been having these attacks.
331
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,530
I think it's just nerves, sir.
332
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,156
Perhaps you better get him to sick bay.
333
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,075
Aye, aye, sir. Right away, sir.
334
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,620
I think if I could go down to my bunk
for a bit, I'd be all right.
335
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,747
Very well. Dismissed.
336
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,141
That's all I can see.
337
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,434
Are you sure it's the only way?
338
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,103
- Positive. We can't go on.
- You know what'll happen--
339
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,732
What do you want me to do? We tried
to figure a way out, and we couldn't!
340
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,650
- I ain't sticking my neck out no more!
- Sergeant!
341
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,069
She's really secured good this time.
342
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,905
I doubled up on the bootstraps
and put in an extra knot.
343
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,075
The hide-and-seek game's over with, Pyle.
344
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,369
- I beg your pardon?
- We're gonna turn the cat in.
345
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,248
- Sergeant Carter!
- It's the only way.
346
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,126
If that CPO finds her roaming
around down there, she's done for.
347
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,837
This way, if we turn her in
and tell him about the kittens,
348
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,631
he may show a little mercy.
349
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,341
How can we be sure?
350
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,926
We can't be, but if they found out
I knew about that cat,
351
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,511
I'll have my head handed to me.
352
00:18:57,511 --> 00:19:01,515
So, I'm gonna make like I found her
roaming around and I'm turning her in.
353
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,267
There's still time to think of
another way.
354
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:07,229
Pyle, it's the cat's neck or mine.
Who do you think is gonna win?
355
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,650
Yes, Sergeant.
356
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,902
All right, now, get down there
and bring her up here.
357
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:24,121
Henrietta, poor little mama-to-be.
That CPO's gonna take--
358
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:27,458
Henrietta? Oh, Lord, she's gone
and got unsecured again!
359
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,752
Henrietta? Kitty, kitty. Henrietta?
360
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,296
Please be here. Henrietta?
361
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,840
Sergeant, maybe if we went to the Captain?
The head man.
362
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,384
No, no, no, no!
363
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:39,053
Sergeant Carter, I got some bad news,
some real bad news.
364
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,680
The cat's gone.
365
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,974
I don't know how it could have happened.
I had her tied up real good this time.
366
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,060
I really did.
367
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,311
You wanna know what I think?
368
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,397
I think that there CPO
must have found her.
369
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:52,400
We can't be sure. Let's spread out
and start looking for her.
370
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,860
You go aft, you go forward,
and you go down the hole!
371
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,113
Hey, Sergeant, look!
372
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,999
He threw Henrietta overboard,
just like that!
373
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:09,917
He really did!
374
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:16,006
What a mean thing!
What a mean thing to do!
375
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,425
Pyle,
what are you doing?!
376
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,177
Cat overboard!
Cat overboard!
377
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,363
What's this?!
What's this?!
378
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,157
Sergeant, what's going on here?
379
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,117
Who-who jumped overboard?
380
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,327
As if you didn't know all about it!
381
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,537
What are you talking about?
382
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:49,540
Boy, I've seen some cold cookies,
but you take the prize!
383
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,499
Huh?
384
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,335
Couldn't you have said something?
We could have figured something out.
385
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,671
- You're all heart, Chief!
- What are you talking about?
386
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,131
[Gomer] Sergeant! Sergeant!
387
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,928
It wasn't what we thought at all.
388
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,513
It was just a bunch of old magazines.
389
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,850
Hey, he's right. Just old magazines!
390
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:12,646
True Love Stories,
Real Romances, Passion Digest.
391
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,649
Hey, are these your magazines?
392
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,110
Well, what if they are?
393
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,154
Why'd you have to jump in after them?
394
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:23,073
After you're through with them
you wanna get rid of the evidence, huh?
395
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:25,910
Real Romances. Passion Digest?
396
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,745
[laughter]
397
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:30,498
What I choose to read
is nobody's business!
398
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:33,000
Especially a bunch of Marines,
still wet behind the ears.
399
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,877
- [Henrietta meows]
- Henrietta!
400
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,004
Boy, am I glad to see you!
401
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:39,173
I thought for sure you was done for.
402
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:42,176
What's this? What's this?
403
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:44,804
Do you know what that is?
404
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,765
That's contraband. Contraband!
405
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:49,809
Look, buddy, let's not get all hot--
406
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:53,395
You heard what I said
about pets aboard this ship,
407
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:57,399
about contraband of any kind,
and what I'd do if I found any.
408
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,693
You just can't do
what you said you was gonna do.
409
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:01,987
There's somethin' about this cat
that you oughta know.
410
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:06,200
Look, I know it's a cat. It's contraband,
that's all I have to know!
411
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,744
Please, you can't throw
her overboard, please.
412
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:12,373
This ain't no ordinary cat.
This is a mama-to-be cat.
413
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:15,209
And from the looks of her,
I think the time is just about here.
414
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:17,294
I think all this excitement's
bringin' it on.
415
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,129
- What?
- [Gomer] That's right.
416
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:21,090
A mama-to-be cat any minute now.
417
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,469
Please, please, you can't.
418
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,721
Take your hands off me, Private!
419
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,640
Please, don't do it, please!
420
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,894
Look, Pyle, save your breath.
Talking to him's like talking to a rock.
421
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:36,814
I bet you spend your spare time
pulling wings off flies.
422
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:39,233
Go on, go on!
You got your contraband!
423
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:41,819
Throw the cat overboard.
Make yourself a big hero!
424
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,238
Don't you tell me what to do, mister.
425
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:47,950
If I wanna throw this cat overboard,
I'll throw him overboard
426
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:49,743
when I want to throw him overboard!
427
00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:52,788
No gyrene Sergeant's
gonna tell me what to do!
428
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:56,250
It so happens I got something better
to do with this cat right now.
429
00:22:56,250 --> 00:22:57,751
Yeah, like what?
430
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:01,213
Like taking her down to the sick bay.
431
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:05,259
I got a couple of raw pharmacist's mates
that could use a little extra experience,
432
00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:08,762
and maybe helping deliver these kittens
would be good training for them.
433
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:15,227
Well, I'll be!
434
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,939
Just when you think you got a guy pegged,
he double-crosses you.
435
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,649
How did you like that?
436
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:23,360
Deep down, he's a good person,
just like you are, Sergeant.
437
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,779
He wouldn't want to hurt
no poor, defenseless creature.
438
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,699
Look, don't stand there
dripping all over the deck.
439
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:29,950
Get some dry clothes on!
440
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:31,744
He may be a good person, Sergeant,
441
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,914
but you're a warm, wonderful person.
442
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,249
- Move it, Pyle!
- Right, Sergeant.
443
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:40,169
And, Sergeant,
if Henrietta has any male cats,
444
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:41,962
I wanna name the first one after you.
445
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:44,673
I'm gonna name her firstborn
"Vincent,"
446
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:47,468
on account of you're a warm,
wonderful person.
447
00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,178
Will you get out of here!
448
00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:01,231
What is this? What are you, on a cruise?
Break it up!
449
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,734
Just a minute.
Sergeant, come on over here.
450
00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:05,569
There's somethin' you ought to see.
451
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:08,906
Pyle, there's work to be done!
What are you doing just standing around?
452
00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:10,741
- Look in there.
- Huh?
453
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:13,994
[Gomer] There they are.
Henrietta and her young 'uns.
454
00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:15,996
The pharmacist's mate
found a home for them.
455
00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:18,165
Yeah. Yeah.
456
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,042
You see this one here?
457
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,879
This is the one I named after you.
This is Vincent.
458
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,048
Know why I call him that?
459
00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:29,093
Because he's so nice
and warm and wonderful
460
00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:32,221
and good and trustworthy and honest.
37597
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