All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S02E06 Supply Sergeants Never Die 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

What a day. What a day.

What are you complaining about, Vince?
I asked you to do a little work.

A little work?

Two field problems, a 20-mile hike
twice around the obstacle course.

That's a little work?
That's murder, just plain murder.

Get the chaplain over to
listen to this heartbreaking story.

What I'll never understand is how
come you make the same dough I get,

and you're just a supply sergeant. Supply.

I'm out in the hot sun
with a 60-pound pack,

and you're sitting around
here in a soft chair

counting shoelaces,
and you get paid the same.

And for what? Supply.

Come on, get off it, Vince.

No, no, no, no. He's absolutely right.

I shouldn't get the same dough he does.
I should get twice what he does.

Did you hear that? Did you hear
what the glorified haberdasher said?

I'm worth twice. Without supply, nothing.

I'm the most important guy in this outfit.
Did you ever think of that?

Oh, come on, Hank.
I'm in charge of 62 men.

Without me, 62 naked men.

So you give him a pair of pants, big deal.

Me? I got the real responsibility.

The life of every one of
them is in these hands.

Look, Dr. Kildare, for your job,

all you need is a can of
foot powder and a big mouth.

Up, two, three, four.

For my job, you need brains.

You, you could be replaced by a recording.

- Do you have any idea what it takes--
- Come on, you guys.

Every night the same argument.

For once, couldn't we have a nice,
quiet game of cards, no arguing?

Who's arguing?

You and all the hard work you do.

Half the time,
you're off on leaves and liberties.

Well, easy enough, there are 40
guys who can take over for you.

Not me, I can't leave.

There ain't nobody can take over for me.

Are you kidding?

Why, any wet-nose recruit could
run this two-bit country store.

Oh, why don't you stop?

- Well, why don't--
- Come on, gentlemen.

- Cards, play, play.
- [groans]

- Excuse me, everybody.
- What do you want, Pyle?

It's Sergeant Klinger.

A telegram was just
phoned into the duty hut.

You're a grandfather.

- A grandfather?
- Really?

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

What was it? A boy or a girl?

Well, let me think now,
I was so excited when I heard.

Your son had a daughter.

- A baby girl.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- Congratulations!
- I don't have a son.

It, it was my daughter had the baby.

Oh, well, then your daughter had a son.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

If you had a son, he had a daughter.
If you had a daughter, she had a son.

I remember because they was opposites.

A boy, that's even better.

Hey, what else did they say?
Everybody all right?

Just fine, and the little fellow
weighed 10 pounds, born at six o'clock.

Hey!

Ten pounds, that's some baby, eh?

- Yeah, he's ready to be a Marine already.
- Yeah.

Or was it 6 pounds born at 10 o'clock?

Which is it, Pyle?

Well, I ain't exactly sure.

Like I said,
I was so excited and everything.

Hey, I got to go call her.

Nice going, Pyle.

- You got everything perfect.
- I was so excited.

This is the first baby I ever reported on,
and I didn't know what to do.

It's a boy! And he weighs 10 pounds.

- Hey! All right.
- [applause]

Ten pounds, born at 0600.

You sure it wasn't 600
pounds born at 10 o'clock?

[laughs]

Hey, guess what?
They are going to name after me, Henry.

Boy, that's starting out with a handicap.

Henry Wadsworth Steincamp.

Oh, that poor kid.

Oh would I love to see that kid.
I'd give anything to go.

So what's stopping you?

Oh, I can't get away.
The trip would take a whole week.

I couldn't find anybody
to take over for me.

Now you're going to go into that again?

Come on, Hank,
anybody can handle your job.

Nah, I know, I know.
You told me that before.

Well, I mean it.
You want to see the kid so bad, take off.

- What can happen?
- [Hank] What can happen?

In a week,
the supply room would be a shambles.

Nobody would be able to find a thing.
Go ahead, take off, he says.

I said it before, and I'll say it again,
any knucklehead can do your job.

Now is as good a time as any to prove it.

I've got a good mind
to take you up on that.

- And why don't you?
- For how much?

- You name it.
- Name it yourself.

- A month's salary?
- You're on.

- Good.
- You're a witness, Boyle.

You heard the bet.

I say by the time I get back,
the place will be a mess.

And I say any knucklehead
can handle his job perfectly.

Right.

Now let's see, how about that
knucklehead who delivered the telegram?

- Pyle?
- Yeah, him.

That knucklehead?

You said any knucklehead could do it.
What's the matter?

You want to back out?

What? And miss the chance to show you up?

No, it's a bet. You're on! You're on!

Good. So Pyle is my replacement.
Okay, I'll go get my leave papers.

An extra month's pay,
that will just about cover the trip.

- Thanks. [laughs]
- [mocking laugh]

You want me to do what?

That's right,
I've been watching you lately,

and I think you're ready
for more responsibility.

That's why I pick you
out for this job myself.

That's real nice of you, Sergeant,

- but I don't know a think about--
- Nothing to it.

A man comes in here and asks
you for something, you give it to him.

Well, that don't sound too hard.

Oh, it's easy.
Look, we'll practice a little.

Now, for instance, I come in here,
and I say,

"Give me, uh, give me a pistol belt."

- What do I do?
- You go and get a pistol belt.

Oh, well, where are they?

They are on the pistol belt shelf.

Oh.

Well, where's that at?

Pyle, why are you making a big
production out of a simple thing?

A man comes in and asks for a pistol belt,
you give it to him.

Is that difficult? Now, I can't show you.

If you're going to be in charge,
you're going to have to find it yourself.

Now, they're somewhere in there.

All right, Sergeant.

- Can you give me a hint?
- No hints.

[Gomer] Am I getting warm?

Keep looking. You'll find them.

I got some nice buckets here.
How about one of them instead?

A pistol belt.

Right, Sergeant.

Well, that will take him a little
while to know where everything is.

Yeah, sure, Vince.

You can't expect him to know
everything in five minutes.

- Mm.
- He's got to work at it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm dead, ain't I?

A whole month's pay.
What am I going to do?

Sergeant Carter?

What do you want, Hummel?

I've just completed
the platoon S-10 forms.

They need your signature.

They aren't due till the end of the week.
What's your hurry?

Well, I thought you'd might
like to have them ready.

Oh.

Copies in the duty hut and
the Y8s have been posted.

- Good. Good.
- I always say,

plan your work, and work your plan.

I can't find them pistol belts nowheres.

If you're looking for pistol belts,
they're on the second stack behind.

How did you know that?

Oh, I've had occasion
to requisition items.

Simple power of observation
and retention.

Thanks, Lester.

Observation and retention.

You had experience in supply, Hummel?

Some.

It's a simple matter of cataloging
and keeping a permanent inventory.

I had a course in business
administration back at school.

It really helps.

Business administration?
Are you going to be around long?

I'm at the company office, Sergeant.

I'll be over in five minutes.

They was right where he said they was.

Smart fellow, that Lester.

Isn't he though?

Pyle, come here a minute.

When was the last time you had leave?

Well, let me see,
I think it was back in about--

That long. I had no idea.
Why, you are way overdue.

And you got a leave coming.
You have to take it.

It's good for you, you know,
get away for a while.

What about the job here, Sergeant?

Well, I'll hate to lose you,
but a tense Marine is a bad Marine.

I'll have your orders typed up,
and you'll leave in the morning.

But Sergeant, this job here you said--

Don't worry about this job.
I want you to leave.

- But Sergeant--
- And that's an order, Pyle.

Hey, what a break.
Did you get that, Hummel?

He's had business administration.
He's an actual.

Yeah, but how are you going to get
Singer to go along with the switch?

Just leave that to me.

All set to go?

Yeah, just going to pick up
a couple of presents at the PX.

Hey, where's our knucklehead?
He's coming, ain't he?

Pyle? Oh, sure, sure.

He'll be on duty here,
subject to military obligations,

- of course.
- Huh?

Say, it's a nice day for your trip.

Sergeant, here are the
leave papers for the platoon.

- He wanted to check them.
- Oh, yes, thank you.

Yes, sir, it's a perfect day for a trip.

It's 72 degrees right now, Sergeant,
scheduled to go to a high of 85.

Well, what's this?
Private Pyle has gone on leave.

Who's on leave?

Pyle. You know, the knucklehead we picked.

Well, then he's out, like we said,
subject to military obligations.

Oh, that's too bad.

He would have been the perfect goof
to come in here and prove my point.

- Hey, wait--
- Well, there's nothing

to do but to try to think
of another knucklehead.

Let's see this.

You're not going on leave, are you?

- No, I'm--
- Then you'll have to take over.

What's your name again?

My name? Hummel, Sergeant.

Hummel, Sergeant Singer is
going to be away for a week,

and you'll just have to try
to fill in as best you can.

Okay, Singer, we got our man.

All right, if he's the one, let's go.
Let's get started. Come on, Hummel.

These are the unfilled requisitions.

- These here are--
- Oh, I understand.

The M-32s and the M-19s for
armory items, no problems.

I presume the regular rules of survey
apply to used items being replaced.

That's right.

- Who is he?
- Who?

Nobody, just somebody from a platoon,
a Private Himmel.

- No, Hummel.
- Hummel, Hummel.

- Come on, you better get started.
- How come Pyle got leave?

Well, can I help that
somebody gives him leave?

Just my luck, the only guy
left in the place is, uh--

- [snaps]
- Hummel.

Hummel, Hummel.
Okay, you better take over.

Very good, Sergeant, there'll be
no problem of any sort whatsoever.

You know, I had that course
in business administration--

I know. I know. That's fine. Get busy.

Come on, Hank,
you don't want to miss your plane.

That Hummel seems, uh,
pretty sure of himself.

Well, he's not as big
a knucklehead as Pyle.

Oh, he would have been the
perfect one to come in here

and prove once and for all that--

[Gomer] Hey, Sergeant,
I've been looking all over for you.

- Hey, Pyle, aren't you supposed--
- Get going, Pyle. You'll miss your bus.

I've thought it all over, and I just
can't leave with you depending on me.

So if you want me take that supply job,
I'm just gone do it.

- Huh?
- I know you's just trying be nice

ordering me to go on leave.

But I can't leave you in a lurch.
So I'll do it.

Well, that's all I wanted to tell you.
I'll see you later.

That's what you call dirty pool, Vince.
It's a shame, you started to worry.

Maybe it takes a guy with half a brain,
so you switch guys on me.

What's this Hummel, a college boy?

- Well, can I help it--
- But you know what?

You want Hummel in there,
put Hummel in there.

I don't care if you go in there and work

yourself because like you said,
any knucklehead can do it.

And I still say it,
and you want to know something?

I'm going to put Pyle in there
to prove it once and for all.

Yeah, any knucklehead can do it.
I say it again.

Right! Pyle it is.

Good.

[interposing voices]

All right, all right, knock it off.

- Hey, Sarge! Come on, Sarge.
- [door knock]

Shut up! Come on, Pyle, open up!

Open up!

[interposing voices]

I can't keep them out there all day.
What are you doing anyway?

What am I going to do, Sergeant?

I was just trying to
neaten up a little bit.

Pyle, you've been in here six days.
Is this the best you can do?

Lookie here, Sergeant,
I had no idea when I started this job

it'd be so complicated.

There's all these itsy, Bitsy items.

There must be hundreds, and hundreds,
and thousands, and thousands,

- and I don't know where--
- Pyle, Pyle, get a hold of yourself.

Now, look, Pyle...

Pyle, you're an intelligent man.
You really are.

There's nothing about this
little job you can't handle.

Well, gosh, it's just like--

Well, it's just like playing store,
now, isn't it?

And that's not hard, is it?

Then see if you can get this mess

straightened up before Sergeant Singer
comes back tomorrow, okay?

Right, Sergeant.
I just wish he's back today.

Well, there's all these itsy, Bitsy items.

There must be hundreds, and hundreds,
and thousands, and thousands, and--

Well, he's not. Now, get this place
going and now. You understand? Now.

- [door knock]
- Open that door up and let those men in.

[interposing voices]

- Come on.
- Let's go.

[interposing voices]

All right, all right, knock it off!
Hold it! Hold it!

Now, get in line,
and knock off the chatter.

You'll get taken care of. Him first.

- Five shelter halves.
- Check. Shelter halves, right away.

Five shelter halves,
shelter halves, shelter halves.

You did say shelter halves, didn't you?

You wouldn't want come back tomorrow

- when Sergeant Singer is here--
- Pyle!

I need them now. I'm already late.
We're going out on bivouac. Come on.

[interposing voices]

I gotta have some C rations too.

- [soldier] I need C rations.
- [banging]

- [phone rings]
- [interposing voices]

- So where is my C--
- I need some C rations.

- [phone rings]
- Knock it off! You'll get your--

- [interposing voices]
- [inaudible] phone.

- [phone rings]
- Supply Sergeant Carter.

Oh, Vince--

Knock it off! Knock it off!

Yeah?

This is Surplus Baggage Singer calling.

What do you want, Singer?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

I just wanted to know how
your boy was getting along.

Hey, what are you doing there,
Vince, helping out?

No, I ain't helping out,
and everything's fine, just fine.

Hey, if that's Sergeant Singer,

would you ask him where in mercy he keeps
them shelter halves, and I can't find hide

nor hair of them helmet liners,
and where do you send the laundry to?

Hey, what is it, Vince?
No trouble, is there? What's going on?

No, there ain't any trouble.
Why should there be any trouble?

Nobody even knows you're missing.

What is it now?

There's a feller here about
some basketball uniforms.

I never heard nothing about that.

Uniforms? For basketball?

Six teams, 10 on each, 60 uniforms.

Ask Sergeant Singer where they are at.

Can't you look someplace?

Hey, Carter, this is long distance.
It's costing me dough.

Yeah, but then I guess I can afford
it since I'm getting your paycheck.

Don't be so sure. You ain't back yet.

Hey, Vince, you getting squared

away with those basketball uniforms,
those 60 uniforms?

Well, as a matter of fact, I was--

Six teams, 10 uniforms, shirts, sneakers,
jackets, all in different cartons.

I meant to tell you about it.
It was just a routine thing.

Yeah, yeah, routine.

I'll see you tomorrow afternoon.

Oh, and a baby says, goo goo to you.

[laughs]

Dead.

- [phone clangs]
- I'm dead.

Did he tell you where the uniforms are at?

You find them, Pyle.

That's your job.

- But Sergeant--
- That's an order.

- Sarge?
- [interposing voices]

Pyle?

- You here, Pyle?
- [Gomer] Be right with you.

List of stuff being
delivered here in the morning.

More stuff?

Hey, did you happen to run
across those uniforms yet?

To tell you the truth,
I can't hardly find nothing around here.

Sure good thing Sergeant
Singer is coming back tomorrow.

Well, it may be good for you,
but not for Carter.

Why is that?

Because your dear old sergeant
is about to get clobbered, but good.

What do you mean?

Look, Pyle, for the last ten years,

Carter has been riding Singer, telling him
what a soft touch this supply job is here

and that anybody could handle it.

Well, Singer finally took him up on it,
and that's why you're here.

I can see what happened.

Shazam!

I had no idea.

Carter is not only going to
lose the month's pay he bet,

but Singer is going to ride
him about this from now on.

He counted on me, and I let him down.

You sure did, buddy boy.

If Sergeant Carter depended on me,
then I just got to deliver for him.

Yeah, how?

Well,

I got all night to straighten things.

I could fix the place up, couldn't I?

Maybe, they fixed Berlin.

Well, what do you say, huh?

Come on, Hank,
this is just the first time.

Have a heart, huh?
Give me three out of five, huh?

- Three out of five?
- Hey, you're that bad, eh?

Oh, now, ain't that awful.

I can't believe it.

[sergeant Singer] Well, I'll be.

Hey, Sergeant Singer, welcome back.

The place looks pretty good, don't it?

[Gomer] Of course,
it ain't as fancy as it was.

I moved some of the stuff around
so I could find it easier.

I put in my own system.

Your own system?

- You made up a system?
- Uh-huh.

I divided the whole
room into three parts--

Animal, vegetable, and mineral.

Now, that part back there in the back,

the leather stuff like that,
that's animal.

And the stuff that's made of cotton,
and wood, and the like, that's vegetable.

Then all the rest is mineral,
all the metal things.

And all you got to do is play
animal, vegetable, and mineral?

It won't work.

Blanket, poncho, and a bayonet.

Right.

Blanket, animal,

poncho, vegetable,

bayonet, mineral.

- [door closes]
- It won't work, eh?

That's beautiful, beautiful.

I knew you'd do it, Pyle. Good boy.

Are you satisfied now,
Sergeant Singer, eh? Eh?

Animal, vegetable, and mineral.

[laughs]

Hiya, Hank, how's my pigeon? [laughs]

Hey, come on, let's get the game started.
It's been a long time.

Yeah.

What's this?

Our bet. That's the check I owe you.

Well, you don't have to pay me now.
The day ain't over yet.

You got until midnight.
[laughs] Deal the cards, boy.

Boy, I've been waiting ten years
to prove this point.

Hey, how'd everything go at home, Hank?

Oh, fine, fine.

- Is that baby okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

You want to know something?
That trip was a blessing in disguise.

- Huh?
- I mean, I found out something.

You know, it's good to know

I don't have to feel like
I'm walking out on a job.

I can start thinking about retirement.

What are you talking about?

My daughter has a spare room over
the garage. I could be a big help to them.

Help them on babysitting,
things like that.

How can you go from being a
Marine one day to a babysitter the next?

Why not?

You mean, you'd really quit the Marines?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And you know I have to
thank for it you, Vince.

Oh, no kidding. You did me a great favor.

You never said anything
before about quitting.

Yeah. What kind of talk is this?

Well, why not? It makes sense.

But you got a job to do here.

Oh, you guys can find
another man for the card game.

[door opens]

[Gomer] Good evening, sergeants.

I just came by to pass out them
basketball uniforms to the fellers.

No need for you to get up.

It'll all run smooth as silk,
no need for you at all.

Yeah, yeah, get out of here.

It'll all run smooth as silk.

Go on. Get out!

It's your lead, Hank.

You guys mind if, uh,
we don't play tonight?

- I'm kind of beat.
- Yeah, sure. Sure, anything you say.

[chatter]

[soldier] Come on.

[interposing voices]

Sergeant,
are sneakers are made out of cotton?

Does that make them vegetable?

Or them little patches on the side,
does that make them animal?

I know they ain't mineral,
but I've looked all over.

Are basketballs plastic or leather?
I can't seem to remember.

I am doing the best I can.

- What am I going to do?
- Hold it. Take it easy.

Don't do anything. Just don't do anything.

All right, all right, pipe down.
All you guys beat it.

We got to restow our gear here.

You can dry your uniforms
first thing in the morning. Out!

I don't know what happened, Sergeant.

All right,
let's get things squared away in here.

Carter, Boyle, lend a hand, will you?

Huh? Oh, sure, sure.

All right, Boyle, you start back there.
Everything out, on the counter.

Wait a minute. Why bother, Hank,
if you're leaving the Marines?

Leaving? How am I going to leave?

Are you kidding? I'm stuck here.

Where am I going to find
somebody to take over from me?

Where? Come on. On the counter.

On the ball,
get this place straightened out.

[laughs]

Golly, Sergeant, hardly know what to say.
I sure am sorry I let you down.

Yeah.

The system just didn't work,
so I'm at fault.

Now life around here's just
going to be miserable for you.

Yeah.

I know what you're thinking.
So just go ahead and say it.

- Pyle.
- Yes, sir.

Have a cigar.

[Carter] Wait a minute.

You see, Pyle, you got to go by the book.

These jury rigged systems never work.

It takes experience.

Heya, Hank.

US government check,
my whole month's salary endorsed to you.

Nah, it was a silly bet.
We never should've made it.

- Keep the check.
- Never.

You won it fair and square. It's yours.

No, no, the bet's off.

You take it.

What do you think I am, a welcher?
I'd throw it away before I'd take it.

Here, Pyle,
you tear it up and throw it in the trash.

- Now, will you take it?
- Not me.

Well, I've got to go check the warehouse.

Oh, look,
why don't we forget the whole thing?

I'll keep my check. You keep yours.
I'll take it out of you at the card game.

If you feel that way about it, okay.
[laughs]

[door closes]

Give me the check, Pyle.

The check.

Well, I don't have it, Sergeant.

What's the matter with you?
I-- I just gave it to you.

But you just told me to tear
it up and throw it into the...

The trash?
You threw my salary check in the trash?

Pyle, why do you have to
listen to everything I say?

What's with you?
Can't you get anything right?

- Sergeant--
- Well, come on, help me look for it.

[marching band plays]

[marching band plays]