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1
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[marching band playing]
2
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,179
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
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Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:21,396
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:33,450
You're wrong, Duke.
6
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,202
Well, I got two bucks
says she doesn't show.
7
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:36,411
Well, I'll take that bet.
8
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I don't see how you can say that.
That's terrible, Duke, just terrible.
9
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,833
Oh, come on, Gomer, it's happened before.
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A big movie star
says she'll show up and then she doesn't.
11
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What's so terrible?
12
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,757
You know what it shows on your part?
It shows a lack of faith on your part.
13
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,802
Gomer's a little prejudiced, fellas.
You'll have to excuse him.
14
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:57,558
Gloria Morgan does happen
to be my all-time favorite. That's right.
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00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,769
Oh. You got a thing
about Gloria Morgan, have you, Gomer, huh?
16
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I don't exactly know
what that means, Duke,
17
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,606
but the lady is my favorite actress,
18
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:07,776
and I don't appreciate talkin' loose-like
about her around a men's barracks.
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00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,779
Okay, okay. So, when she shows up
for the dance tonight,
20
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if she does show up,
why don't you ask her to dance with you?
21
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,408
- Huh?
- Ask her to dance.
22
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Your favorite movie actress. You'll be
able to hold her in your arms and dance.
23
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,621
I don't appreciate you
talkin' about her like that.
24
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Who are you
takin' to the dance anyway, Gomer?
25
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Just me myself.
26
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I do plan on doin' a whole lot of starin'
at Miss Morgan, though.
27
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That sounds pretty exciting, all right.
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I just hope it don't make her too edgy.
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You know, a lot of folks get real edgy
after you stare at 'em a long time.
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00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,555
Well, if she just gets edgy,
you walk right up to her,
31
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,931
put your arms around her...
32
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,851
I don't appreciate
talk like that about her, Duke!
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00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:47,232
Okay, Pyle,
what did you do this time?
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- About what, Sergeant?
- You're wanted in the Colonel's office.
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The Colonel? He wants me?
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Well, he asked specifically for you.
37
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There's only one Gomer Pyle.
38
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I don't think the world is ready
for another Gomer Pyle.
39
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,371
I wonder what the Colonel wants.
40
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,540
Well, there's only
one way to find out, Pyle,
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get over there on the double.
42
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- He didn't tell you what...
- Move it!
43
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Private Pyle, reportin' as ordered, sir.
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At ease, Pyle.
45
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,388
Thank you, sir.
46
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:22,809
Pyle, do you remember that enlisted
man's dance a few months ago?
47
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,561
The one you took my daughter, Jane, to?
48
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:27,397
Yes, sir. I remember, and I'm sorry.
49
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,900
Why are you sorry?
She had a very nice time.
50
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:34,029
She did?
Well, I did, too. I really, truly did.
51
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Not only is Miss Jane real nice,
52
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but she's a real good dancer, too.
53
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,035
Do you know she didn't even stumble
once that whole evenin'?
54
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:44,706
Yes, uh, well, uh,
Jane's home again.
55
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,792
Has a little time off from school,
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and I was wondering if you'd care
to take her to this evening's dance?
57
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,756
Yes, sir. I sure would, sir.
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I'd consider that a real honor.
59
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Fine. You can pick her up
a little after 8:00.
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I'll authorize a jeep for your use.
61
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,097
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
62
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Carry on, Pyle.
63
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,060
- Sir?
- Yes, Pyle?
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00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,520
When I bring Miss Jane home,
65
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,480
I'll be real careful
not to squeal the brakes,
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00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,316
just in case you and the missis
decide to turn in early.
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00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,069
Thank you, Pyle.
That's very thoughtful.
68
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:17,989
And that ain't all, Duke,
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00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,616
her daddy said
I could even use a jeep
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00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,326
to take Miss Jane to the dance.
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00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,246
No two ways about it, Gomer,
you're becoming quite a ladies' man,
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and with the Colonel's daughter.
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Oh, go on, Duke.
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00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,377
But we did hit it off
kind of good that first date.
75
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,712
Hey, Gomer, do me a favor.
76
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:32,754
Sure, Duke, what?
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Invite me over to your house
for dinner after you get married
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so I can hobnob with you
and all the other brass.
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00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,385
Won't do me any harm
to show I'm buddy-buddy
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00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,553
with the Colonel's son-in-law.
81
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,596
Doggone, Duke. I think you're just...
82
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:44,558
Guess what, they're bringin' Gloria Morgan
to the barracks! She's headed this way.
83
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,768
- You're kidding.
- Go on, they wouldn't do that.
84
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Women ain't allowed in Marines' barracks.
85
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I just saw her outside! Come on!
86
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,982
Let's get this place squared away!
87
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,984
They're bringing
a civilian visitor through any minute!
88
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,446
Then it's true, Sergeant, Gloria Morgan's
comin' through this very barracks?
89
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,447
The Gloria Morgan?
90
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,449
That's right.
She arrived a little early,
91
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,908
so she's being shown around the base.
92
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,785
Did we catch you unawares?
93
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,079
Shazam! I'm so excited!
94
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,331
Just feel on my heart,
Sergeant, it's goin' ka-thump...
95
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,458
Pyle!
96
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,460
I'm so nervous.
How do I act when she gets here?
97
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What do you mean how do you act? You
stand there at attention and don't talk.
98
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Talk? Why, if she looks at me,
I'll just die! I'll just die!
99
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,469
Good. I'll see
what can be arranged.
100
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,303
Here they come!
101
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,972
All right!
Knock it off, knock it off!
102
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,599
Get back to your bunks!
103
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,518
Ten-hut!
104
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Hello, boys. Hello.
105
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,067
Hello.
106
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,112
The, uh, living quarters
are pretty much alike in all the huts,
107
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bunks, lockers.
108
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,575
Why, do you mean to tell me that
they keep everything they own
109
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:44,826
in these little lockers?
110
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:45,994
Oh, yes, ma'am.
111
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Just about everything they need.
112
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,707
Well, now!
113
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,167
Whose locker is this?
114
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,920
Well, whose locker is this?
115
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,464
Uh, it's Private Pyle's locker, sir.
116
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,423
Isn't it, Pyle?
117
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,885
[voice cracking] Y-Yes, ma'am... Sergeant.
118
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,386
I--I mean, sir.
119
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,182
Well, now, I just bet you put
those pictures up there
120
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:10,393
when you heard I was coming,
didn't you? Very sweet, though.
121
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,229
No, ma'am.
I cross my heart, I didn't.
122
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They've been stuck up there
almost ever since I've been here. Honest.
123
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,274
Really?
124
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,360
Well, I'm very flattered.
125
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,154
Not only that,
but I've seen all your movies, too.
126
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,407
There was Doomsday at Taranto,
127
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,409
It Happens Every Payday,
128
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:29,913
Lost Lovers Forever,
Dinner With Diana,
129
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,581
I Love You, I Love You, I Love You...
130
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,750
I seen that one three times.
131
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Lady Be Bad,
and Faithful Till Tomorrow.
132
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My goodness,
what a memory you have.
133
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,132
You know,
I did some of those pictures so long ago,
134
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I didn't even remember them myself.
135
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,345
Oh, that's very sweet.
136
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,932
Say, um, would you like me
to autograph that picture for you?
137
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Golly.
138
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,603
Would you, ma'am?
139
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,647
Oh, I'd love to.
Does anybody have a...
140
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,858
Uh, fountain pen?
Is that what you want?
141
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,111
Now, what's your name?
142
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,238
Uh, Pyle, Gomer Pyle.
143
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,532
Gomer, like Homer, except with a G.
144
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,034
And Pyle, like pile, except with a Y.
145
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,913
Are you gonna make
that other picture, ma'am?
146
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,707
The one with you
and Mr. Hudson together
147
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,876
on that island
with the over active volcano?
148
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,169
How'd you know about that?
149
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:22,173
Well, you bein' my favorite
female movie star and all,
150
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:25,427
I not only see all your pictures,
but I read all I can about you, too.
151
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:28,430
You know I think you know more
about me than my agent does.
152
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,432
Well, thank you kindly
for your autograph, ma'am.
153
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,225
Oh, it was my pleasure.
154
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,519
I--I've seen a lot of your
pictures, too, Miss Morgan.
155
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,645
[chuckling]
156
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Really? How nice.
157
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,775
Well, goodbye, boys. Bye.
158
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- Bye, Homer.
- Gomer!
159
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,656
Bye, ma'am.
It's sure a pleasure talkin' to you.
160
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,074
Bye.
161
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,204
"If she looks at me, I'll die.
162
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,748
I'll just die!"
163
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,207
[groaning]
164
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,546
Gloria Morgan.
165
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,049
She wrote it in her own hand,
on my very locker.
166
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,426
Well, I can see it already
in Hedda Hopper's column,
167
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,595
"What well-known movie actress
and what Marine private
168
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,306
are past the hand-holding
stage and rumored to be altar-bound?"
169
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,974
- [all laughing]
- Oh, stop that, Duke.
170
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:16,686
Gomer, I'm just looking into the future.
And I see you and Gloria
171
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,814
off on an island
with an over active volcano and there...
172
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:20,815
Hey, movie fan!
173
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,152
- Me, Sergeant?
- You!
174
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,237
It's your turn to clean up the duty hut.
175
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,155
Yes, sir.
176
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,866
And Smith and Sullivan,
you police up in front of this hut.
177
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,911
Hey, Sergeant, did you see what
Gloria Morgan wrote on my picture?
178
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,371
I saw it, I saw it.
179
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,997
"Sincerely, Gloria Morgan."
180
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,624
Swell. Move it, Pyle.
181
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,168
And if she wrote "sincerely",
she meant sincerely
182
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,128
on account of she's a sincere person.
183
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,047
Did you see her in Faithful Till Tomorrow?
184
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,341
- She was so sincere...
- Pyle, did you hear me?
185
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,635
- On the double!
- Yes, sir.
186
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,887
[chuckling] "Sincerely."
187
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,806
She wrote "sincerely" on there.
188
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,063
You know something, men?
189
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:03,233
I think Gloria Morgan really got to Gomer.
190
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,318
[all giggling]
191
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,362
Hey, do you guys wanna have some fun?
192
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,822
- What's up?
- [all] Yeah, sure.
193
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,032
We're gonna make a little phone call.
194
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,033
Come on.
195
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,329
[telephone rings]
196
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,251
Sergeant Carter's quarters.
197
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,794
[in a deep voice] Let me talk to Sergeant Carter.
198
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,672
Well, he ain't here right now,
can I take a message?
199
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,675
Well, I'm trying to get in touch
with a Private Gomer Pyle.
200
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,386
Oh, well, this here's Gomer Pyle talkin'.
201
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,388
Hold on a minute, Private.
202
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,979
[imitating a woman] Hello, Gomer?
203
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,147
This is Gloria.
204
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:43,940
Gloria?
205
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,110
Gloria Morgan.
Have you forgotten already?
206
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,989
Shazam! Hey, Miss Morgan.
207
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:54,701
Excuse me for not recognizin' your voice,
but you sure sound different.
208
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,910
I do?
209
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,329
That must be because
this is my telephone voice.
210
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,583
Listen, I was wondering...
211
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,961
How would you like to escort me
to the enlisted men's dance tonight?
212
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:08,506
Me? Are you sure
you mean me, Miss Morgan?
213
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,134
Oh, I'm very sure, Gomer. Say you will.
214
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,511
Golly.
215
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,722
What an honor.
What a real honor.
216
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,390
It's all settled, then.
217
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,476
You can pick me up
at the guest quarters
218
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,853
at the Officer's Club tonight at 8:00.
219
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,646
Toodle-ooh.
220
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,696
She called me Gomer.
221
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,572
What?
222
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,909
Sergeant, you'll never believe this,
you really won't,
223
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,411
but that was Miss Morgan,
Miss Gloria Morgan.
224
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,538
She called up
and asked especially for me.
225
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,583
You're right, Pyle,
I don't believe it.
226
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,211
See, I told you you wouldn't
believe it, but she did.
227
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:49,339
She called on that very phone
there and wanted to know if I'd take her
228
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,132
to that enlisted man's dance tonight,
229
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,175
and I told her...
230
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,677
Oh, Lordy!
231
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,180
I clean forgot.
I'm supposed to take
232
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,307
the Colonel's daughter
to that dance tonight.
233
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,810
Well, aren't we Mr. Popular?
234
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,813
That's what you get
for not checking in your datebook, Pyle.
235
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:07,315
But this is serious, Sergeant.
236
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,609
What an embarrassin' predicament.
237
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,654
How could I make
such a dumb mistake? What'll I do?
238
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:13,947
Pyle, don't bother me.
239
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,325
But this is serious, Sergeant. I can't
take both of those girls to that dance.
240
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,910
What'll I do? Please tell me.
241
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:21,037
Well, it's simple, really.
242
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:24,415
You just call up
both gals and you tell them you're sorry,
243
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,000
you can't take them to the dance
244
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,169
because you won't
be able to dance tonight.
245
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,546
Huh?
246
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,172
Why won't I be able to dance?
247
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,716
I forgot to tell you.
248
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,094
Before you call,
you shoot yourself in the leg.
249
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,105
Gome, what's the matter?
You look awful.
250
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,524
Oh, I got myself a terrible problem, Duke.
Just terrible.
251
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,192
Well, what is it, pal?
252
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,027
Well, Miss Morgan called,
253
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,071
- Miss Gloria Morgan.
- Mmm-hmm.
254
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:58,074
And she wanted to know
if I'd escort her to the dance tonight.
255
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,535
And naturally, I said yes,
but I clean forgot
256
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:02,745
I'm supposed to take
the Colonel's daughter.
257
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,707
Oh, that is a problem.
258
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,250
Well, what am I gonna do, Duke?
259
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,253
If I back out on Miss Jane,
well, that'll hurt her feelings,
260
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,880
and if I back out on...
261
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,757
Oh, I got myself
into real trouble this time.
262
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,467
I feel awful, just awful.
263
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,969
- Uh, Gomer...
- Yes, siree,
264
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,846
real honest-to-goodness trouble.
265
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,932
Look, Gomer, hold it, um,
before you blow a gasket,
266
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:26,644
I got some news for you.
You don't have a date with Gloria Morgan.
267
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,314
Well, sure I do. Miss Morgan
herself called me on the phone.
268
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:32,066
No, no,
that wasn't Gloria Morgan that called you.
269
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,318
Huh?
270
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,695
I-It was me, playin' a little joke.
271
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,655
I don't believe it.
272
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,823
You don't?
273
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,617
[imitating a woman] Hello, Gomer?
274
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,994
This is Gloria Morgan, you silly boy.
275
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,832
I'm surprised at you, Duke.
276
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,960
That's really a cruel thing
to do to a person.
277
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,503
It really, truly is.
278
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,255
It was just a little joke,
Gome.
279
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,217
Well, it's still a mean thing to do.
280
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,012
Yeah, I guess it was kind of
a cruel trick at that.
281
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,388
I'm sorry.
282
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:05,975
Shake, pal?
283
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,440
Okay, good buddy.
284
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,610
Then I really don't have to take
Miss Morgan to that dance tonight?
285
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,696
You sure don't.
You got a date to take me.
286
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,574
And you'd like your escort to be
one of the men here on the base,
287
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,492
a private?
288
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,244
- Yes, if I may.
- Fine,
289
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,120
and very appropriate, I might add,
290
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,331
since it is an enlisted men's dance.
291
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:31,417
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got to get home.
292
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,753
My daughter just arrived
from college for a few days,
293
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,797
and, uh, I must tell her
that she, too,
294
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,590
has an escort for tonight's dance.
295
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,593
Captain, uh, help Miss Morgan
locate the Marine in question.
296
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,011
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you, Colonel.
297
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,137
Thank you, Miss Morgan.
298
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,098
- Now if you'll excuse me...
- Certainly.
299
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,227
Well, now, uh,
just what is the name
300
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:52,313
of the, uh, private you'd like as
your escort for the dance tonight?
301
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:56,901
Oh, now, let me see.
It was a strange name. Um, Homer.
302
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,653
No,
303
00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:01,572
Gomer, like Homer,
except with a G,
304
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:04,367
Pyle, like pile,
except with a Y.
305
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,994
Gomer Pyle.
306
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,129
[telephone rings]
307
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,505
Sergeant Carter here.
308
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,633
Uh, yes, sir.
Private Pyle, sir?
309
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,177
I'll get him for you right away.
He's in the area.
310
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:28,057
Hey, Pyle!
Get over here!
311
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,642
You're wanted on the phone!
312
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,939
He'll be right in, sir.
Yes, sir.
313
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:39,068
- Phone for me, Sergeant?
- It's the Captain.
314
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,322
Are they doin' that again?
315
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,365
Are they doin' what again?
316
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,242
Oh, they acted out this mean trick.
317
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:49,370
I told them it was a cruel joke,
and I'll tell them again.
318
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,496
Hey, Duke,
319
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,333
I'm surprised at you,
pullin' another fake call like this
320
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,961
after admittin' just a few minutes ago
that it was a mean, cruel trick to do.
321
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:57,962
Gimme that!
322
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:01,215
Listen, Slater,
any more practical jokes,
323
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,093
and I'll have you doin' push-ups
from now till Groundhog's Day!
324
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:07,055
Now get back to your barracks
you knucklehead...
325
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:09,307
I don't know
what you're babbling about, Sergeant,
326
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,808
but I have Miss Morgan here.
327
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,518
Now put Private Pyle on the phone,
328
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,020
or I'll have you doing push-ups!
329
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,938
Y-Yes, sir.
I--I'm sorry, sir.
330
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,566
It was all a misunder...
Right away, sir.
331
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,651
It's her. It's really her.
332
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,570
Well, take it, take it!
333
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,114
[voice cracking] Hello?
334
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,908
Hello, Gomer, is that you?
335
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,786
Hey, Miss Morgan.
Is it really you this time?
336
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,954
I assure you it is.
337
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,332
Gomer, I understand that it's customary
338
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:37,668
for a Marine to escort the guest of honor
to the dance, and, uh,
339
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,295
well, I've made my choice.
340
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,922
It's you. Will you take me?
341
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:44,258
Me? You mean it?
342
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:45,218
You really mean it?
343
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,012
Why I'd be honored to, ma'am.
344
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,474
Eight o'clock at
the Administration Building.
345
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,435
Bye, and thanks, ma'am.
346
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,896
Well, what do you know?
347
00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,316
I really am gonna
escort Miss Morgan to that dance tonight.
348
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,026
That was her, and she just said...
349
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,114
Oh, Lordy!
I done it again!
350
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:09,492
I got myself two dates for that dance
tonight, is what I've done again
351
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,327
and I really done it this time.
352
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,788
Golly, Sergeant,
what am I gonna do?
353
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:16,332
Well, you could claim
you're an amnesia victim
354
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,875
and don't remember anything.
355
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,253
Or you could desert.
356
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,921
They don't hold dances at Leavenworth.
357
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,632
Or you could shoot yourself in the leg.
358
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,384
I still think that's the best way.
359
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,429
[tires screeching]
360
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:49,198
Gomer! You didn't even
let me finish my makeup! Are we late?
361
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,616
I just wanna get to the dance.
362
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:02,837
[tires screeching]
363
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,965
[up-tempo music playing]
364
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,472
Well, here we are, ma'am.
365
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,979
Gomer, why do you keep
looking at your watch?
366
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,814
Oh, I guess it's because
367
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,733
that the Marines
do everything by the clock, ma'am.
368
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,443
Shall we dance?
369
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:28,070
Well, I thought first
we should take a walk... [exclaiming]
370
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:46,589
Thank you, ma'am. Why don't you
sit there and rest awhile now?
371
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,883
- Oh, but I'm not tired.
- Well, I'll just go over here and get...
372
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,301
Good evening. May I?
373
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,594
- Well, I...
- Sure you can, sir.
374
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,514
You two enjoy yourselves,
and I'll be right back.
375
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,997
Gomer, for heaven's sakes,
you didn't even stop to say hello.
376
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,000
Oh. Hello, Miss Jane.
377
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,168
Well, let's go.
378
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,138
Well, now then, Gomer, tell me,
how's everything been?
379
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:36,973
Fine.
380
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:38,558
[tires screeching]
381
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,476
[slow music playing]
382
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,562
The place sure looks nice,
doesn't it, Gomer?
383
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,521
Sure does.
384
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,898
Oh, look, there's Gloria Morgan.
385
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,816
- Where?
- Over there.
386
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,628
I'd love to meet her.
Oh, wouldn't you, Gomer?
387
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,382
Huh? Oh, sure.
388
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,553
[all applauding]
389
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,683
Excuse me, ma'am.
I'll go get us some punch.
390
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,059
Oh, but, Gomer, I really...
391
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,188
Hey, Miss Gloria, I'm back.
392
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,232
Did you enjoy dancin'
with Captain Murdoch?
393
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,985
Oh, yes, I had several dances
with Captain Murdoch.
394
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,695
Captain Murdoch's
a real good dancer.
395
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,322
I thought you'd enjoy dancin' with him.
396
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,532
Yes, I did,
but now I'd like to finish our dance.
397
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,159
Would you excuse us, please?
398
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,036
Gomer?
399
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:41,746
Yes, ma'am.
400
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:51,088
Gomer, that, uh, girl you've been dancing
with, is she your girl?
401
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,799
Uh, oh, what girl?
402
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,468
The one you've been dancing with.
403
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,514
Well, what makes you think that?
404
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:03,017
Well, she hasn't taken her eyes off you.
405
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,105
Uh, excuse me, ma'am,
I'll get us some punch.
406
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,231
Uh, but, Gomer, I...
407
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,873
- Here's our punch, Miss Jane.
- Thank you, Gomer.
408
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,085
I, uh, see you were dancing
with the guest of honor.
409
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:30,920
Uh, yes, ma'am.
410
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,630
I figured
that's the least I could do,
411
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,132
with her sittin' on the wall
like a wallflower and all.
412
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,512
That was very thoughtful of you, Gomer.
413
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,390
She's very pretty, isn't she?
414
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,141
I guess her features do go together
415
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,686
in kind of an interestin' way at that.
416
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,317
- I'll get us some punch.
- Gomer, we have punch.
417
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,318
Oh, yeah.
418
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:59,532
Mine's all gone.
You mind if I get me some more?
419
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,369
By all means, Gomer,
do go get some more punch.
420
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,996
I guess the night air's
made me kind of thirsty at that.
421
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:06,997
Well, don't bother...
422
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,083
Here I am again, ma'am.
423
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,168
Where's our punch, Gomer?
424
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,337
- Oh, oh, well, I...
- Gomer!
425
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,006
Look, Gomer, if you have
another date, I don't want to...
426
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,217
Oh, you're not!
Excuse me, ma'am.
427
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,481
Oh, hey, Miss Jane,
I just got us some more punch.
428
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,942
Gomer, I don't want any more punch.
429
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,569
Aren't we gonna dance anymore?
430
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,821
Yes, ma'am, right now.
431
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,125
Well, what do you know?
The music stopped.
432
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,295
- Miss Morgan?
- Oh, won't you sit down, Captain?
433
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,296
Thank you.
434
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,132
Well, are you enjoying the dance?
435
00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,134
- Oh, yes, very much.
- Good.
436
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,470
Where is, uh, where is your escort?
437
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,765
My escort? I'm afraid
I've been abandoned.
438
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,391
You've been what?
439
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,686
I'm afraid Private Pyle has another date.
440
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:14,398
Will you excuse me
for just a moment? I'll be right back.
441
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,192
Oh, Captain, please don't say...
442
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,110
Pyle!
443
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,448
Excuse me, Captain.
Would you, please?
444
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,824
Thank you, sir.
445
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:29,246
- Where you goin', Miss Jane?
- I'm going home.
446
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,749
Oh, but you can't do that.
The dance is hardly started...
447
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:34,084
Gomer, if you don't mind,
I'd like to leave.
448
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:36,504
Well, I'm sorry, ma'am,
but if you'd just let me explain...
449
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:38,005
I made a point of telling daddy
450
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:40,508
that I'd like only you
to take me to the dance.
451
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,134
I just feel very foolish.
452
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,470
Well, I'm sorry.
I really did want to take you...
453
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,889
Gomer, it's all perfectly obvious.
Good night.
454
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:50,351
Well, it may be perfectly obvious to you,
but it ain't the truth.
455
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:53,687
If you'll just wait here just a minute,
I can explain the whole thing.
456
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:56,148
Will you, please, Miss Jane?
457
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,650
Well, all right, Gomer.
458
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,318
But I won't wait long.
459
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:01,362
All right.
Now, you just wait right there.
460
00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:03,823
I'll be right back. Honest.
Just wait right there.
461
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,550
Miss Jane?
462
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,428
Miss Jane, this is Miss Morgan.
463
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:29,223
Miss Morgan, this is Miss Jane,
Colonel Gray's daughter.
464
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:30,850
- How do you do?
- Hello.
465
00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:33,769
I know both you ladies are mad at me,
466
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,271
and I'm sorry,
467
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:37,314
but, truly,
I didn't know what else to do.
468
00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:39,900
You see, Miss Jane,
when your daddy asked me
469
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,736
if I'd like to take you to the dance,
I was real happy to.
470
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:44,405
And then Miss Morgan called me
471
00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:46,073
and asked me the very same thing,
472
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,951
and my brain sort of froze,
and my big mouth took over,
473
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,078
and I found myself with two dates.
474
00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:52,997
Now, I know what I should've done,
475
00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:56,750
but I was afraid I might hurt one of
you's feelings, and I couldn't do that.
476
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,795
With you bein' my favorite
movie lady, Miss Morgan,
477
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:02,590
and you bein' my favorite
in-the-flesh lady, Miss Jane.
478
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:06,844
I just hope you two ladies
can find it in your heart to forgive me.
479
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,847
[Gomer] Miss Morgan?
480
00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:12,391
Miss Jane?
481
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:18,564
[whistling]
482
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:19,899
Shazam!
483
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,233
Well, I declare.
484
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:24,445
Hey, Sergeant.
485
00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:38,292
[up-tempo music playing]
486
00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:40,044
[people clapping]
487
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,765
Dancin' sure is good exercise
for you, Miss Jane.
488
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:55,643
The way you do it, it certainly is, Gomer.
489
00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:58,729
I sure am glad that you and Miss Morgan
ain't mad at me no more.
490
00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:00,314
You know something, Gomer.
491
00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:03,233
I think you should take
two dates to every dance you go to.
492
00:24:03,233 --> 00:24:04,818
Then one partner can rest up
493
00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:07,237
while you dance
with the other one for a while.
494
00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:09,156
That sure is somethin' to think about.
495
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,991
I know one thing for sure, though,
496
00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:12,451
if it ever happens again,
497
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,621
I'm gonna be sure
and tell both parties beforehand.
38184
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