All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S01E28 Sergeant of the Guard 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band playing]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

...and left, hut, left!

And left.

Detail, halt!

Left face!

At ease!

[in southern accent] Sergeant,
do you mind if I ask you a question?

Yes.

That's your privilege.
After all, you don't know

whether the question I'm gonna ask
is that important or not,

so I respect your decision.

All right, Pyle,
what is the question?

Well, if you'd rather
I didn't ask it, Sergeant,

- why, I'd just...
- Pyle, what's the question?

Well, I was just gonna ask
how long we was gonna be here,

for kind of a personal reason.

Just what is
the personal reason?

Well, you see,
I got this rock in my shoe,

and on the way over here,
I figured

it'd take me about a minute
to get it out.

So, if we wasn't gonna be here
that long, I couldn't.

Pyle, don't you know
you're standing at ease,

which means you keep
one foot in place?

Yes, sir.
I can stand on one foot,

and raise the other one
up like this,

and that's the reason
it'll take me at least a minute.

I got real good at this back home
by watchin' whoopin' cranes.

They can stand like this all day.

Pyle, I don't know how long
we're gonna be here,

they didn't tell me.

But for right now,
you sit down on the deck,

take the stone out of your shoe,
put your shoe back on,

get up, then stand there
like a Marine,

and not like
a whooping crane!

[Gomer] Yes, sir, Sergeant,
and thank you.

[groans]

Come in.

Sergeant Carter
reporting as ordered, sir.

At ease, Sergeant.
Your detail outside?

Eight men from my platoon.
Yes, sir.

Sergeant, you and your men
are pulling guard duty tonight

at Warehouse 12.

Your ammo will
be issued here.

- Guard duty, sir?
- Guard duty.

You weren't notified
in advance

because we're invoking
security precautions.

A gang has been
working our warehouses

almost every night.

- Did you know that, Sergeant?
- No, sir.

They never use
the same method twice.

They've taken electronic gear,

other equipment worth thousands.

Now, just in case they have
a man inside the base,

we don't want them to know
who our guard detail will be.

Yes, sir.

Do you have good men,
Sergeant?

With me since boot camp, sir.

They've got
your stamp on them, huh?

- Yes, sir.
- Good.

The CID is working on this,

but in the Corps, we--we count on
the men in the field.

- You'll be officer of the day, sir?
- Right.

But I don't mind
telling you, Sergeant,

that the, uh, ones
who pull in this gang

will be up
for a commendation.

Yes, sir.
You can count on us, sir.

On the other hand,

if some goofball
on guard duty

should let those crooks get away
with any more government property,

very unpleasant things will happen.

Is that clear?

Uh, yes, sir.
It's very clear, sir. Yes, sir.

I can't emphasize strongly enough
the importance of the whole operation.

Now, I would assume
that the most important guard posts

would be four, five and six.

Sergeant?

Uh, yes, sir.
Four, five and six.

But since we have no previous
pattern of operation for this gang,

it's vital that every man
on every post be on his toes

from the minute he's assigned
to the minute he's relieved.

We keep that in mind,
I think we're home free.

- What's your 7th General Order?
- My 7th General Order is,

"To talk to no one
except in line of duty."

- Your 4th General Order!
- My 4th General Order is,

"To report all calls more distant
from the guard house than my own."

- Your 9th General Order!
- Well...

Pyle, do you or do you not know
your 9th General Order?

Oh, yeah, Sergeant,
I even know that one backwards.

My 9th General Order is,

"To call the corporal
of the guard

in any case not covered
by instructions."

- Okay.
- Now you wanna hear it backwards?

- "Instructions by covered not..."
- Knock it off!

Anyway, I'm to call
the corporal of the guard.

Do you wanna hear
how I call him?

"Corporal of the guard,
post number four!"

That's if I've got post number four.
If I got post number three, I say,

- "Corporal of the guard..."
- Knock it off!

Pyle, there will be
no corporal of the guard.

There will be
a sergeant of the guard,

and I will be that sergeant.

- Wonderful.
- Pyle!

I will be checking on you

every minute
you're walking your post.

Well that's real friendly of you,
Sergeant.

That's not being friendly!

Well, sure it is.
It gets mighty lonesome out there

walkin' back and forth
all hours of the night.

Your General Orders
do not take into account

your getting lonesome.

- It's scary, too.
- Pyle,

you're not a Cub Scout
going on an overnight hike.

You are a Marine!

And that's all due
to you, too, Sergeant.

All right, you people,
listen up and listen good!

You are going to be
on your toes tonight

because a gang of thieves

has been making off
with Marine property,

and they may
keep right on trying!

So challenge everyone!

No matter what they tell you,
don't believe it!

Call me and keep them there
until I come!

Is that clear?

- [all] Yes, Sergeant!
- All right, now,

we're gonna be
guarding Warehouse 12.

That's a natural target.
Electronic equipment.

Now, we don't know
how this bunch operates

because they never do
the same thing twice.

So, anything suspicious,
and I wanna hear it from you!

Anything you see, hear, smell,

and cannot identify,

and I wanna hear it from you!

Now, what do I wanna hear?

- [all] Sergeant of the guard!
- Again!

- [all] Sergeant of the guard!
- I can't hear you!

Sergeant of the guard!
Sergeant of the guard!

Halt! Who's there?

Gomer, that's five times
you've challenged me

just because I'm walking
the next post.

Sergeant Carter said
to challenge everybody.

But I told you,
I'm just walking the next post.

Sergeant Carter said not to believe
anything they told you.

Oh, boy. So if I tell you
I'm walking the next post,

- you shouldn't believe me?
- That's right.

Even if I tell you my name
you shouldn't believe me?

Maybe you ought not tell me.

Duke, I know it's you.

It's just that I've got to keep on
practicin' that challenge.

You're really playing
cops and robbers, aren't you?

Look, nothing's gonna happen.
Who's gonna try

and break into a warehouse
with guards all around?

I don't know, but I'm always
keepin' on the alert.

Yeah, sure.

That bunch is clever, and I ain't
gonna let them outsmart me.

I got good eyesight
and a loud voice.

So, anything that I see,

I'm gonna yell
for Sergeant Carter.

You do that.

Uh, are you gonna challenge me
the next time we meet here?

- I might.
- Oh, brother.

Halt! Who's there?

Sergeant of the guard,
post number five!

[Duke] Sergeant of the guard,
post number five!

Well, what is it, Pyle?
What is it? What did you see?

I don't rightly know.

Something moved over that way
that I couldn't identify,

and my instructions
was anything that...

Yeah, yeah. O-Over there?

- Yes, sir.
- Come on.

[cocking gun]

[meowing]

Pyle, don't you know a cat
when you see one?

Oh, yes, sir.
I can tell a cat real good.

Trouble is,
I didn't see this cat.

I just heard a sound.

Why, it could have been
them robbers makin' cat noises.

Pyle.

Back home,
we had this cat burglar,

and he used to crawl
into people's houses

and go "Meow, meow..."

Pyle!

Anyways,
my instructions was that...

I know what
your instructions were,

and I didn't say
anything about cats!

Carry on!

Yes, sir, Sergeant!
Don't you worry.

I'm keepin'
always on the alert!

Sergeant of the guard,
post number five!

[Duke] Sergeant of the guard,
post number five!

Sergeant of the guard,
post number five.

What is it, Pyle?
What is it?

I don't rightly know,
Sergeant.

What do you mean you don't know?
It's not another cat, is it?

It's more like a rabbit,
I think.

A rabbit?

I never did see it, but it give off
kind of a hippity-hop sound.

You mean you're just standing
out here in the middle of the night

yelling over a rabbit?

I didn't want that gang
of thieves to outsmart me

by making rabbit noises
and trickin' me into thinkin'

that they was bunny rabbits,

so I didn't think at all,
I just called you.

Pyle, if a gang of bunny rabbits
is robbing this warehouse,

I do not want
to hear about it!

And that goes for cats
and mice and chipmunks.

They are not my problem!

When you see something
walking on two legs,

then I want to hear about it!

Until then, I don't want to hear
another word! Is that clear?

- That's clear enough, Sergeant.
- Fine!

Rabbits and cats and mice,
they ain't too bad,

- but chipmunks, now them, they...
- Knock it off!

- Get back on your post!
- Yes, sir.

[groans]

Sergeant of the guard,
post number five!

[Duke] Sergeant of the guard,
post number five!

Sergeant of the guard,
post number five!

Not you again, Pyle.

But I really seen somethin'
this time, Sergeant.

- With two legs, too.
- Where?

Over there against the warehouse,
movin' around.

Hey, now there's
two of them.

Do you know what that is, Pyle?
Do you?

It's your shadow!

- My shadow?
- It's your shadow!

Now, get back on your post!

Golly, it's funny
how that fooled me.

I'm sorry, Sergeant.

Pyle, what are you doing?

Makin' a giraffe.
Don't that look just like a giraffe?

I've already seen a jackass,

and if I hear one more word
out of you tonight

you'll be a dead duck!
Now get back on your post!

Yes, sir.

Just turn around
real slow-like.

Oh, good work, sentry.
I didn't even hear you coming.

You better put up your hands, too.

I'm Johnson.
Criminal Investigation Department.

My identification's in my pocket.

Yes, sir. That very well
may be the case.

Aren't you gonna let me
show it to you?

- No, sir.
- Why not?

Orders from my Sergeant.
Sergeant Carter.

He told me if anybody told me
anything, not to believe 'em.

So I'll just hold you here
till he comes.

That's good practice.
Very good.

Yes, sir. Thank you.

Aren't you gonna call him?

No, sir, I got orders
from my Sergeant not to.

What kind of
an order is that?

Oh, he's right.

See, I called him out for a rabbit,
and a cat, and a shadow.

After that, he just didn't want
to hear from me.

What are we supposed to do,
stand here all night?

Well, he didn't give me
no orders about that.

So I guess
that's what we'll do.

- Look, Private...
- Private Gomer Pyle, sir.

Look, Pyle,

even if you won't
look at my identification,

what do you think I am?

Oh, I got strict orders
not to think.

'Cause if you was a member
of that warehouse gang,

why, you could
out think me real easy.

So the smart thing for me to do
is just to make my mind a blank.

You don't have
any trouble there.

No, sir,
that comes real easy.

Private, how would it be if I called
the sergeant of the guard?

Now, that's a real good idea.
Why didn't I think of that?

Your mind's a blank.

Sergeant of...

I feel like a fool.

Sergeant of the guard,
post...

- What post is this?
- Post number five.

Sergeant of the guard,
post number five!

[Duke] Sergeant of the guard...

Be sure and tell him it was
you that called when he gets here.

He'd get mighty irritated
if he knew it was me.

I'll tell him, all right.

Sergeant of the guard!

He may not come.

Maybe you should have said
post number four.

Why?

On account of he said
he wasn't comin' back

to post number five anymore.

Pyle, did I tell you to...

Who's that?

He says he's a CID man,
Sergeant.

I've got my identification
in my pocket, Sergeant.

Well, didn't you check it?

No, sir. You told me not to believe
anything anybody told me.

Sorry, sir.

Can I take
my hands down now?

After 10 minutes,
the circulation cuts off.

Uh, of course, sir.

Why didn't you call me sooner?

Well, you said not to.

Well, never mind what I said.
Use your head!

That's just what you
warned me against, Sergeant.

He didn't call you at all, Carter,
I had to.

Why didn't you call me?

What kind of a knucklehead
thing is that?

Did you give orders to this man
not to call you, Carter?

[stuttering] Oh, well,
in a way I did, sir.

What kind of
a knucklehead order is that?

[stuttering] Well, it's a kind of

a knucklehead
kind of order, sir.

You are right.
It will be reported as such.

Yes, sir.

Halt! Who is there?

Sentry, Captain.

Halt! Who is there?

Captain Danville, Private.
Here's my warehouse requisition.

"To all personnel.

Expedite."

Rush shipment.

Well, I don't know
much about requisitions,

but this sure looks like
a good one.

Good. I'd appreciate it very much
if you help my men load.

Be glad to, sir.

So far, so good, Jo-Jo.

Don't call me Jo-Jo.
I'm a captain now.

Congratulations, Captain.

Now get in there and help them load.
Maybe you'll make PFC.

- I could use the money.
- Hey, remember,

if the CID show up,
no shooting.

First sign of trouble,
I whistle, we cut out.

You think that's in the finest
tradition of the Marine Corps?

Get in there and help
that stupid sentry load, will you?

Aye, aye, Captain.

Pyle?

Pyle?

[cocking gun]

Hey, Sergeant!

Pyle, what is this?
Why aren't you walking your post?

Well, it said
"All personnel to expedite,"

and I'm personnel.

What are you talking about?

I didn't hear nothing
about a loading requisition!

Who was this, anyway?

Well, there's this captain
with this requisition

that says to expedite,
so I'm expeditin',

and it said to rush,
so I'm rushin'.

What are you talking about?
Who was this captain?

Pyle, what is this? What do you mean
you're expediting?

Just that, Sergeant.

This captain come along
and told me to expedite.

Captain? What captain?

Did it occur to you
to ask questions?

Well, yeah, there was one question
I was gonna ask him,

- so I'll ask you.
- Huh?

What does "expedite" mean?

It means doing
what you're doing right now

instead of
walking guard duty.

Pyle, why didn't you
call me?

Well, you're gonna think
this is silly.

I'm sure of it.

Well, I just didn't want to be
a burden to you anymore.

- What?
- Well,

every time the least
little old bitty thing happened,

I was yellin', "Sergeant of the guard!
Sergeant of the guard!"

And you was probably thinkin',

"Lord, that boy can't even
stand on his own two feet."

And you do want me
to stand on my own two feet...

Pyle!

Forget the rest of this stuff.

The CID jeep is due by here
any minute.

Makes the rounds every hour.
Let's close the truck gates

- and get out of here.
- Right.

Where is this captain?
I wanna talk to him!

Well, he was...

Let's go.

We're movin'!

Halt!

[gun firing]

- Those were shots!
- Sure sounded like it.

Pyle, do you realize
what's happening?

We accidentally got ourselves
locked in the back of this truck

while they spotted that gang
of crooks somewheres else!

- [gun firing]
- They're shootin' at us!

[gun firing]

That's all right, Sergeant,
we're shootin' back.

Pyle, you knucklehead,
those people up in front are crooks!

I thought they was Marines!

They're not Marines.
That's the gang we've been after!

I knew it, I knew it!
I knew you'd get yourself taken!

[gun firing]

I'm sorry, Sergeant,
but they had on Marine uniforms,

and they had this requisition,
it said to "Expedite."

They tricked me.

All right. They don't
seem to know we're back here.

Do you think we ought
to let 'em know?

We don't want 'em
to know.

Now look,
here's what we'll do.

They got to be getting back
to their hide-out any minute,

and when they do...
Where's your rifle?

Golly, I left it
leanin' up against the wall.

That's a great place for it.

Well, I'm sorry, Sergeant,
but I couldn't carry my rifle

and expedite
all at the same time.

All right, listen up.

Now the odds are against us,
so follow orders exactly.

I'm listenin' as hard as I can.

Now we got to figure out a way

to get them
in the back of this truck.

- Get 'em back here?
- That's right.

The only thing that'll work
is a trap.

There are three of them
and two of us,

and all we got is
a pistol and no rifle.

As soon as we get 'em
trapped back here,

then we'll drive 'em back
to the base.

Well, how are we
gonna do that?

Well, as soon as we stop,

I'll get on the left side
of the door and you...

Hold on!

Sergeant?

Sergeant?

Sergeant Carter,
I think we're here.

Okay, let's get
this thing unloaded.

Hey!

Bet you all didn't know
I was in here.

Come on, come on!
Get down out of there!

Didn't you see him in that truck
before you slammed the doors?

Who had time to look?

What are we
gonna do with him?

Guess you wouldn't want
to drive me back to the base.

I could catch a bus.

I'm about
out of suggestions.

Well, don't you worry.
We'll think of something.

You guys get in there and unload.
I'll keep an eye on him.

Oh, I--I'll unload it for you.

After all, I loaded it up.

All right, go ahead, unload.

Glad to help out.

Sergeant?

Sergeant?

It sure would be helpful
if you'd wake up.

Sergeant,

would you mind greatly
if I took your gun?

Hey! Who are you
talkin' to in there?

[stammering]

I was talkin' to my sergeant,
and he's hurt.

- Are you kidding us?
- No.

Y'all better come in here
and help me carry him out.

He's hurt bad.

Go ahead take a look.
I'll keep an eye on him.

All right, watch out.

If this is
some sort of a gag...

[man] Hey, there is somebody
in here, and it's a sergeant.

- What?
- Yeah, and he's out cold.

[shushing]

I'd appreciate it
if you'd get in there.

You see, this is a trap.

[tires screeching]

Hey, what are you guys
doing here?

- Private Pyle reportin', sir.
- Where have you been, Pyle?

What happened?
Where's Sergeant Carter?

He's in the truck
with the warehouse gang.

- He captured them?
- Yes, sir, it was a trap.

- Wait till you hear.
- Great work. Open up the truck.

Cover them, men.

All right, come on down there
with your hands up high!

Where's Sergeant Carter?
Sergeant!

Sergeant Carter?

Good work, Sergeant!
I said good work.

I don't know how you managed it,
but you did a great job!

Turned out just like you planned,
Sergeant Carter.

It was Sergeant Carter's idea

to trap the crooks
in the back of the truck.

And it turned out just that way.

I think we ought to hear it
for the Sergeant.

That's not all, there will be
that commendation I mentioned.

- Yes, sir.
- Good going, Sergeant.

And you got a good man
here with you.

All right, get 'em inside!

Yes, sir.
I--I got a good man here.

Now, for you men
relatively new in the Corps,

there's a lesson
in what happened last night.

Sergeant Carter here
has had 14 years as a Marine.

Fourteen years of training,
conditioning.

He probably could have fought
those men for their weapons,

and engaged
in a bloody gun battle

but he elected to pursue
a sensible approach

and bring in the thieves
without firing a shot.

His trapping of the gang
in the back of that truck

was a masterpiece of strategy.

- Sergeant?
- Y-Yes, sir?

Once again, well done.

- Now dismiss your men.
- Aye, aye, sir.

Detail, ten-hut!

Dismissed!

- Pyle.
- Yes, Sergeant?

Come here. [mumbling]

Did you wanna tell me somethin'?

No. I want you
to tell me something.

- Huh?
- Tell me what happened.

Start at the beginning,
don't leave anything out.

Well, from the beginning,

there was this feller
that come along

dressed as a Marine Captain
with this requisition...