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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,671
[marching band playing]
2
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,887
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:16,183
Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:21,563
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:34,576
[grunts]
6
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,179
Is it somethin' I said?
7
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,598
Of all the rotten breaks.
8
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:59,726
Of all the mean,
nasty, rotten breaks.
9
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,228
What happened?
10
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:04,064
What happened?
11
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,484
I've been waitin'
a whole week for this date.
12
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:10,904
One whole week, I've been pointin'
to this particular date,
13
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,407
with this particular girl,
and what happens?
14
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,993
I pull Sergeant of the Guard,
and I get stuck on the base,
15
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,286
that's what happened!
16
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,996
What are you gettin'
so shook up about?
17
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,123
You caught last-minute duty
before and got stuck.
18
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,458
This is different.
This girl is different.
19
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,670
This ain't no ordinary date!
This could be the one, Miss Right.
20
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,255
No kiddin', Vince.
21
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,257
No kiddin'. What do you think
I'm so sore about?
22
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,259
I'll be darned.
She really flipped you, huh?
23
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,052
I gave her my tie clip.
24
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,887
Who is it?
25
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:38,265
Geraldine Turk.
You don't know her.
26
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,684
Geraldine Turk? Hey, is that
the one that had the nose job?
27
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,227
No!
28
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,354
I told you,
you don't know her.
29
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,856
I met her at a party.
30
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,692
Oh, is she beautiful.
31
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,110
She's so beautiful.
32
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,196
Not like some of the bow-wows
you go out with.
33
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,159
- And she flipped for you, too?
- Well, I had to work on it.
34
00:01:57,159 --> 00:02:00,203
I worked hard. There were
a lot of guys buzzin' around,
35
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,915
but I sweet-talked her
all evening.
36
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,626
That's what did it.
37
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,546
She's so pretty.
38
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,757
Sarge, I think you're in love.
39
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,551
Hey, if I was you,
40
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,554
I'd get a bodyguard to watch over
this girl when you're not around.
41
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,766
Well, it's just that
she's the first girl that I...
42
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,852
Hey, you know what?
43
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,105
- You just said somethin'.
- Huh?
44
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,942
A bodyguard,
but not a real bodyguard.
45
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:34,237
Why don't I get one of my guys
to take her out for the evening?
46
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,907
You know, protect her
from the wolves?
47
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,742
Why?
Don't you trust her?
48
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,036
It's just that...
49
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:42,954
Well, I sweet-talked her
50
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,706
and took her away
from a master sergeant.
51
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,500
What's to prevent some guy
from coming along
52
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,709
and doin'
the same thing to me?
53
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,586
Yeah, yeah,
but who could you send?
54
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,588
I mean, uh,
who could you trust?
55
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,466
Well, it'd have to be
56
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,718
a guy in the platoon
who ain't too handsome.
57
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,261
Right.
58
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,555
And it should be a guy
who's not a fast-talker.
59
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:03,600
In fact, he should be
a little on the slow side.
60
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,018
Not an idiot exactly,
61
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:08,647
but a nice, harmless,
dumb cluck.
62
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,524
[in southern accent]
You wanted to see me, Sergeant?
63
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,067
Yeah, Pyle, uh,
64
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,569
do you plan on going
into town today on your liberty?
65
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,321
As a matter of fact,
I was.
66
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,782
You got any special plans?
67
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,200
Nothin' special.
68
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,619
Hey, do you wanna
make a day of it together?
69
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,621
We could go over
to the aquarium.
70
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,998
They got one of them
piranha fishes over there.
71
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,625
It ain't no bigger
than your hand,
72
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,670
and they say it can eat up
a human bein' in five minutes.
73
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,089
- No, Pyle.
- Wouldn't you like to see a fish
74
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,717
that could eat up
a human bein' in five minutes?
75
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,928
Golly. What do we need
a fish like that for, anyhow?
76
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,930
Pyle, the fact is I can't go in,
77
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,725
I've got guard duty,
but I want you to do me a favor.
78
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,727
- I'd be glad to, Sergeant.
- Coffee?
79
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,603
Thank you,
but no, thank you.
80
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:52,524
Well, Pyle, I had a date
with this girl,
81
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:53,817
the girl.
82
00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,903
And I didn't wanna disappoint her,
so I was wondering if...
83
00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,073
Well, if you wouldn't mind
takin' her out for me?
84
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,491
Well, I don't know.
85
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,536
- Take out one of your girls...
- You didn't hear me, Pyle.
86
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:07,122
Not one of my girls,
the girl.
87
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,124
This is it,
88
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,375
the girl.
89
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:14,045
Well, you mean
you and she might...
90
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,589
That's what I mean,
all right.
91
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,257
Well, golly, Sergeant!
92
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,760
Best wishes, and may you have
every happiness.
93
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,261
Thank you, Pyle.
94
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,180
You mean, you want me
to take her out?
95
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,389
And do you know why?
96
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:27,058
Because there's not
another man on the entire base
97
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,894
that I trust like I trust you.
98
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,104
Well that's real nice of you
to say, Sergeant.
99
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,606
No, I mean it.
100
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,649
Well, where would
I take her?
101
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,902
You think she might like
to see that piranha fish
102
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:39,654
that can eat up a human bein'
in five minutes?
103
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,072
She might.
104
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,992
But, uh, why don't
you take her out,
105
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,787
have some dinner together,
see a movie?
106
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,622
But the important thing is, Pyle,
107
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,458
that you don't let any other Marine
or civilian anywhere near her.
108
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,584
Huh?
109
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,127
Well, you know how it is.
110
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,755
A pretty girl like Geraldine,
well, she's popular.
111
00:04:56,755 --> 00:05:00,300
Another guy comes along and...
Well, I could lose her.
112
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,344
So she's gotta be watched,
you understand?
113
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,470
- Uh-huh.
- Good.
114
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,138
Now, here, let me
give you some money.
115
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,766
Oh, no, Sergeant.
I couldn't take that.
116
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,934
I insist.
117
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,644
Look, you're taking out
my girl.
118
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,437
You're doing me a favor.
Now, come on.
119
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,105
Here, take this ten bucks.
120
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,024
Ten dollars?
121
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,652
Shazam!
I'll never spend it all.
122
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,695
She sure is
a mighty lucky girl
123
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,864
to be gettin'
a thoughtful man like you.
124
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,534
You know, you sure are
thoughtful for a sergeant.
125
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,786
Well, I try, Pyle. I try.
126
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,746
Now, look,
I'll phone Geraldine.
127
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,749
I'll explain the whole thing to her,
and you pick her up.
128
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,418
In fact, I won't call her until
right before you go to pick her up
129
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,504
so she won't have time
to make any other plans.
130
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,173
Thoughtful, thoughtful.
131
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,634
"Thoughtful" is the word
for Sergeant Carter.
132
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,762
And "trustworthy"
is the word for Gomer Pyle.
133
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,390
But bring me the change
out of that ten.
134
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,728
This is very disappointing.
135
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,647
I mean,
very disappointing, Hal.
136
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,107
Vinny.
137
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,568
I'm sorry, honey,
but listen,
138
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,989
meanwhile, you're still my own
little cutie-babe, ain't you?
139
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,700
My own little Lambchop?
140
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:10,412
Oh, I love when
you sweet-talk like that.
141
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,290
Say it again.
142
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,834
You're my own little dew drop.
143
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,043
[knocking on door]
144
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,170
Oh, someone's at the door.
145
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,840
Okay, baby. Don't forget...
146
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,217
Que Sera Sera.
147
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,927
Our song, remember?
148
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:29,139
I remember. I have to get the door.
Bye, Dave.
149
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,098
Vinny.
150
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,268
Hey, ma'am.
151
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:36,021
Hello. You must be Goomer.
152
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:39,190
Gomer.
Like Homer, except with a "G."
153
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,484
Yes. Well, uh, come on in.
154
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:44,321
Sergeant Carter was sure
disappointed he couldn't make it.
155
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:47,198
I hope you won't be
too disappointed in the substitution.
156
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,577
'Cause I sure ain't
no Sergeant Carter, nowhere's near.
157
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,079
Well, um...
158
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,874
Uh, won't you sit down,
Homer?
159
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,501
Uh, Gomer.
After you, ma'am.
160
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,212
I never do sit
in the presence of a lady.
161
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:05,383
Oh. Well--Well,
I thought I'd get you something.
162
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:08,345
- Would you care for a drink?
- Yes, ma'am. Sure would.
163
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,804
What would you like?
164
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,223
Well, I'd like for you
to leave the tap run a while.
165
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,893
That way, you're sure to get
the water nice and cold.
166
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,021
All right.
167
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,440
- Ma'am?
- Uh, yes?
168
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,734
No wonder Sergeant Carter's
so stuck on you.
169
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,819
You sure are pretty and nice.
170
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,447
- I am?
- Yes, ma'am.
171
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,824
You're a whole lot prettier
than I expected.
172
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,662
[slow music playing]
173
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:37,040
Gomer, what did you say
about my hair?
174
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,458
Huh?
175
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,460
Well, when we first
started dancing,
176
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,963
you said something
about my hair.
177
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,798
Oh, that it was
pretty and soft,
178
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,967
and it smelled
real nice, too? That?
179
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,468
Say it again.
180
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,346
Your hair
is pretty and soft,
181
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,349
and it smells real nice,
real nice.
182
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,821
Gosh, I didn't realize
it's so late, Miss Geraldine.
183
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,406
I sure am sorry.
184
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,658
Well, don't be.
I had a wonderful time.
185
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,369
Really? 'Cause
I sure enjoyed myself.
186
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,163
Oh, I mean it.
I enjoyed every minute of it.
187
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,541
The aquarium, that was fun,
and--and the...
188
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:20,875
I still can't believe it,
189
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,419
a little old bitty fish like that
190
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,754
is able to eat up
a human bein' in five minutes.
191
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,798
Why, it'd take a human bein'
longer than that
192
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,676
to eat that little old fish.
I mean, bonin' it and all.
193
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:33,263
Well, I enjoyed that.
194
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,515
And the movie
and the dinner...
195
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,184
And the talk.
196
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,271
Well, shoot, you sure are easy
to talk to, ma'am.
197
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,939
Talk some more.
198
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:46,192
- About what?
- About me.
199
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:49,320
- You mean, about your hair?
- Anything.
200
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,197
Well...
201
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,159
You sure are good company,
and you're a real good dancer.
202
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,536
Golly, you're light
as a feather,
203
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,539
but most of all, [chuckles]
you're real pretty.
204
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,375
I love sweet talk.
205
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,587
Well, I guess I better
be gettin' back to the base.
206
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,339
Good night, ma'am.
207
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:09,799
Good night.
208
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,217
Night.
209
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:34,282
- What's the matter, Vince?
- Go get Pyle.
210
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,284
What's wrong, Sarge?
You look terrible.
211
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,827
Go get Pyle.
212
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,496
What is it, bad news?
213
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:42,373
Get him. Go get Pyle.
214
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,292
Sure, Sarge, sure.
215
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,169
Get him. Get Pyle.
216
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:54,719
[Geraldine] And so, I think
it's best that we end it now.
217
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,596
I'm sorry.
218
00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,141
But don't think it hasn't been fun,
because it has.
219
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:04,104
Think of it as a trip to the moon
on gossamer wings,
220
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,106
just one of those things.
221
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,984
Auf Wiedersehen, my dear.
222
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,830
Go get Pyle.
223
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,630
You wanted to see me, Sergeant?
Is somethin' wrong?
224
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,174
It's all over, Pyle,
all over.
225
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,467
What's all over?
226
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,553
Geraldine and me.
227
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:40,640
Over, done, finis, kaput.
228
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,975
Huh?
229
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,273
What a terrible thing!
230
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,775
What a terrible thing!
231
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,695
Yeah. Huh? Huh?
232
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,031
You take a girl out,
you--you give her your tie clip,
233
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,784
and just like that, it's over.
234
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,371
Que sera sera.
235
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,664
What?
236
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,207
That was our song.
237
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,211
Well, I was que sera sera'd,
all right.
238
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,505
I can't tell you
how sorry I am, Sergeant.
239
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,756
You see, Pyle?
240
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:17,468
You see why I wanted you
to take her out and watch her for me?
241
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,929
Well, you didn't watch
good enough, Pyle.
242
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,598
While your back was turned,
243
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:25,018
some rat fink came around
and stole my girl!
244
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,062
- You really think so?
- Of course.
245
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,398
Didn't you see her
make a phone call?
246
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,525
Didn't you see her talk
to any other guy all day long?
247
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,610
Now, think, man, think!
248
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,404
Well, at the aquarium,
249
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,406
there was this one feller
that spoke to her.
250
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,492
- Yeah, yeah, what, a guy in uniform?
- Yeah, but...
251
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,828
Well, who was he? What did he say,
what did he say to her?
252
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,830
Well, he was the guard,
and he said,
253
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,416
"Lady, don't lean
against the glass."
254
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,002
You missed it, Pyle.
255
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,379
You blew it.
256
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:56,507
There was probably some guy
following you around all day long,
257
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,842
and you didn't even
know about it.
258
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,178
- You really think so?
- I know so.
259
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,891
Well, I'm not gonna give up
so easy.
260
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:08,311
No, sir, I'm not
throwing in the towel just yet.
261
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,813
I'm gonna fight this!
262
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,774
I want you to do me
another favor, Pyle.
263
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,400
I'll be glad to, Sergeant.
264
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,361
I want you to take
Geraldine out once more,
265
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,238
spend the entire day with her.
266
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,115
Oh, but this time, I want you
to keep your eyes wide open, see?
267
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,867
I want you to watch
for any guy she talks to.
268
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,118
Find out who he is.
269
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,579
I wanna track this down.
I wanna know one thing,
270
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,707
who's the other guy?
Who's the dirty, double-crossing rat?
271
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,335
Any person that'd pilfer
another one's loved one
272
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:33,836
is all them things and more.
273
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,381
All right.
Tomorrow, tomorrow's Saturday.
274
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,715
You got liberty.
275
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,717
Take her out.
Spend the whole day with her.
276
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,803
Here, let me give you
some more money.
277
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,055
You got anything left
out of that ten bucks I gave you?
278
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:47,183
Oh, I forgot, I was supposed to
bring you the change.
279
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,309
Good.
280
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,311
Twenty-six cents.
281
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,605
Hang on to it.
Here's another ten.
282
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,732
Another ten?
283
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,277
Golly, Sergeant,
this is really costin' you.
284
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,946
It's worth it, Pyle, to find out
what I wanna find out!
285
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,823
- Right.
- Now, I'm depending on you, Pyle.
286
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,950
- Don't let me down!
- Oh, you can trust me, Sergeant.
287
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,201
I'll watch her, all right.
288
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,078
I'll watch her
just like a hawk.
289
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,830
Just like a hawk.
290
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,248
Good boy!
291
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,375
Any person that'd try to steal
my sergeant's girlfriend
292
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:15,586
is a mean, hateful thing
that's got his lumps comin' to him.
293
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,838
That's the ticket!
294
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,798
Now, report back to me
tomorrow night as soon as
295
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,466
- you get back to the base.
- Right!
296
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,968
As soon as I get back,
Sergeant.
297
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,261
Gung ho!
298
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,924
[guns firing]
299
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,219
[Indians whooping]
300
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,835
[jazz music playing]
301
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,602
Here we are.
302
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,604
Yeah, here we are.
303
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,190
Thank you, Gomer.
304
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,442
- Ma'am?
- I said, "Thank you."
305
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:02,735
Oh, you're sure welcome.
306
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,153
You know something,
Gomer?
307
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,656
I'd like to spend
days like this forever.
308
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:09,200
- You would?
- Mmm-hmm.
309
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,203
Wouldn't you?
310
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:15,790
Well, to tell the truth,
I sure would.
311
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,084
Oh, Gomer, I accept!
312
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,630
Don't you realize that
you just proposed to me?
313
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:23,548
But, ma'am...
314
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:26,008
Oh, I almost forgot.
You have to give me your tie clip.
315
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,678
You know what that means?
I'm your steady.
316
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,888
- But, ma'am...
- Oh, no. Let's not say anything more.
317
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,390
Let's not spoil it.
318
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,767
Good night, darling.
319
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,644
Good night.
320
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:37,728
[sighs contentedly]
321
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,230
Until tomorrow.
322
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,120
[knocking on door]
323
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,666
Pyle, you're back, boy.
Come on in, come on in!
324
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,919
Well, well, well?
325
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,379
Well, uh...
326
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:08,509
I went over to her house
and I picked her up...
327
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,927
Yeah, yeah, yeah?
328
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,304
Can I tell you this
tomorrow?
329
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,931
No, no. This can't wait.
Now, tell, tell.
330
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,518
Sergeant, can I ask you
somethin' first?
331
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,519
What?
332
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:22,565
W-W-What was you plannin'
on doin' to this other feller
333
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,816
once you found him?
334
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,943
Have you been
thinkin' about that?
335
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:28,112
Oh, I've been
thinkin' about that.
336
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:32,116
I've been thinkin'
real good about that.
337
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,117
You have?
338
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,203
Oh, yeah.
339
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:40,041
I see us meetin'
in an alley somewhere,
340
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,878
a nice, dark,
dead-end alley,
341
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,171
where he can't get away.
342
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,339
And then...
343
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,967
Then I haven't
quite made up my mind.
344
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,845
Should I start with his ribs
and work my way up?
345
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:57,183
Or should I start
with his head
346
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,894
and work my way down
to his legs,
347
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,896
breaking things as I go?
348
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:05,233
Oh yeah, I've been
thinkin' about that.
349
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:08,402
I've been thinkin'
a lot about that.
350
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,657
Tell me, Pyle, tell me!
351
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,325
Do you know who this guy is?
Do you know?
352
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:17,870
W-Well, uh,
I think I have a lead.
353
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,664
- You have?
- Uh-huh.
354
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,999
Uh, uh, can I tell you
tomorrow night?
355
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,709
Why? Why do we
have to wait?
356
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,629
Well, I think he's comin' back
tomorrow night.
357
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,756
- Tomorrow night?
- Uh-huh.
358
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,467
- I think so.
- Well...
359
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,929
I waited this long.
360
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,681
I can wait another night.
361
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,018
Good night, Sergeant.
362
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,065
Hey!
Are you going out?
363
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,692
That is right.
364
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:49,777
I thought you were gonna
stay in all weekend.
365
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,153
What is it,
a last-minute deal?
366
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,864
This, my friend, is called
"Operation Close-in."
367
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,157
Huh?
368
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,326
Closing in on the fink
who stole my girl,
369
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,662
the fink who sweet-talked her
away from me.
370
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,747
Last night, Pyle told me
he had a lead.
371
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,332
He said he'd get back
to me tonight.
372
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,835
He said the guy would
probably be there tonight.
373
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,086
So?
374
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,422
So, I wanna be there.
375
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,341
I wanna take myself
a little look-see.
376
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,219
I wanna run into this chap,
and when I do...
377
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,638
Now don't go gettin' yourself
into trouble, Vince.
378
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,223
It ain't worth it.
379
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,933
What trouble?
380
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,060
I just wanna see this guy.
381
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,771
I just wanna see what he looks like.
I wanna meet him.
382
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,316
I wanna take a good look at him.
And then...
383
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,901
I wanna kill him.
384
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,653
[knocking on door]
385
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,157
Oh, darling, come in.
386
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,867
Come in, darling.
387
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,785
Why didn't you call
all day?
388
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,872
Oh, last night was wonderful,
just wonderful.
389
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,041
Have you been thinking
about last night?
390
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,209
Well, yes, ma'am.
I sure have.
391
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,462
That's the reason
I've come back here tonight.
392
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,047
Oh, tell me, tell me.
393
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:53,591
Say something sweet,
like you always do.
394
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,052
Well, first of all, though,
395
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:58,137
I've got to ask
for my tie clip back.
396
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,889
We're supposed
to have two of 'em.
397
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,308
Oh, I understand.
Of course.
398
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,061
I should know,
it's part of your uniform.
399
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,772
But, darling, you know,
tie clips are just sort of,
400
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,900
well, trinkets
to kind of seal a bargain.
401
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,444
You know how I'd rather
seal the bargain?
402
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,862
Like this.
403
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,917
What's this?
404
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,419
What's this?
405
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,172
Oh, mercy!
406
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,466
Leonard!
What are you doing here?
407
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,343
- You?
- Sergeant, listen...
408
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,387
- You?
- I wanna know what this is all about!
409
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,138
- What are you doing here?
- You?
410
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,015
Will you answer me?
What do you want?
411
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,017
You?
You're the rat fink?
412
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,977
You're the one I sent in
to watch over my girl,
413
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,021
do a little spying for me,
and this is what happens?
414
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,940
- You?
- What are you talking about?
415
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,401
This rat fink here, I sent him in
to take out my girl,
416
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,277
and what happens?
He steals her!
417
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,321
- What?
- Miss Geraldine, Sergeant...
418
00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,741
Oh, yeah. I sent him in personally
to take you out!
419
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:03,244
I even financed it! Ask him,
ask him if it ain't the truth!
420
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:06,372
"Oh, yeah, here,
take another ten bucks, Pyle!
421
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,791
Here, take out my girl,
go ahead!"
422
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:10,543
"I'll watch her, Sergeant.
You can trust me!
423
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,628
I'll watch her like a hawk,
just like a hawk!"
424
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,338
Well, you watched her
real good, all right!
425
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:15,631
Sergeant,
Miss Geraldine...
426
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,676
This is the most disgusting
thing I ever heard of!
427
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,846
How dare you send someone
in here to spy on me!
428
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:25,725
And--And how dare you
take a job like that and fool me!
429
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,393
Oh, get out here!
430
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,019
Both of you,
get out of this house!
431
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,272
Miss Geraldine, if you'd
just listen for a minute...
432
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:34,525
Out! Out! Get out of this house
before I call the police!
433
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:36,819
You heard her, rat fink!
Out!
434
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,487
Sergeant, wait just a minute,
listen...
435
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:41,031
Out! Out of my sight!
436
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,284
And take Sergeant Hagen
with you!
437
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,619
You rat fink, come on out!
438
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:48,581
- [mumbling]
- Rat fink! Rat fink! Rat fink!
439
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,875
Sergeant...
440
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,752
Now, Sergeant...
441
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,004
Wouldn't nobody listen
to nothin'.
442
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,131
Wouldn't nobody listen
to a thing I had to say.
443
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:58,799
I'll listen!
I'll be glad to listen!
444
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,177
But first, let's find
that nice, dark alley!
445
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,262
Wait a minute!
Can't I say just one thing?
446
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,681
- A prayer, a short one!
- Wait.
447
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,475
Now, I know what
you came in there and seen
448
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:08,726
must've looked pretty terrible.
449
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:12,021
But the fact of the matter is,
the whole thing was one-sided.
450
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,148
That's the reason
I come here tonight,
451
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,817
to tell her that this whole thing
just wasn't possible.
452
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,361
But she didn't even
give me a chance to do that.
453
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,322
But now I'm gettin'
to the most important part.
454
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,283
Miss Geraldine is pretty
and fun to be with,
455
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,701
but do you know what?
456
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:30,372
I don't want her to hear this,
but she's fickle.
457
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,665
Huh?
458
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,667
Fickle. She is
a fickle-hearted person
459
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,628
that just likes bein'
sweet-talked to.
460
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,004
She said so herself.
461
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:39,632
Just look how fast
she threw you over for me.
462
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,258
Now, how do we know how fast
she wouldn't
463
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:42,635
throw me over
for somebody else?
464
00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:45,179
As soon as another
sweet-talker come along.
465
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:48,891
Now, that type of person
is fickle, fickle, fickle.
466
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,434
Now, tell the truth,
Sergeant.
467
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,895
Ain't you glad you found out
about her this quick
468
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,772
instead of gettin'
more tied up with her
469
00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:56,816
and, later on,
bein' really disappointed?
470
00:21:57,274 --> 00:22:00,069
Now, if what I say
don't make good sense
471
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,780
and you still wanna
go find that dark alley...
472
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:03,781
Well,
473
00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:05,783
that's up to you.
474
00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:11,288
- Let's find a diner instead.
- Huh?
475
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,041
Come on, Goomer.
476
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,669
Harry's gonna buy you
a cup of coffee.
477
00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,172
Que Sera Sera.
478
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,803
[piano music playing]
479
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,440
Hey, Sergeant!
480
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,942
Pyle, what are you
doin' here?
481
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:42,486
Well, I'm supposed
to be meetin' a girl.
482
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:44,780
And I sure ain't lookin'
forward to it, neither.
483
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:47,241
- Why? Who is she?
- Well, it's like this.
484
00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:49,410
Duke Slater,
back in the barracks,
485
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,871
he had a date with these two girls
in one evenin',
486
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,998
and he didn't wanna disappoint
either one of the girls,
487
00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:56,417
so he asked me
if I'd take one of 'em out.
488
00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:58,961
So take her out.
Have fun.
489
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,173
- Hey, Sergeant.
- What?
490
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:05,175
Do you have any plans
this evenin'?
491
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,219
No. Why?
492
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:09,388
Would you like to take out
this girl instead of me?
493
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:10,890
You'd be much better
494
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,766
on one of these blind dates
than I am, I expect.
495
00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:14,935
- No, thanks.
- I sure wish you would.
496
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,980
She's due here any minute.
Duke said that the way I'd know her
497
00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:20,649
she'd be wearin' white gloves
and carryin' a black purse.
498
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:22,776
I don't think so, Pyle.
499
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:26,071
If Duke thinks
this girl is right for you,
500
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:28,532
well, I don't think
she's right for me.
501
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:31,035
- You understand?
- Yeah. Well...
502
00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:43,547
Uh, on second thought,
Pyle, uh,
503
00:23:43,547 --> 00:23:46,425
since, uh, I don't have
any special plans,
504
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:49,094
and since you really
don't care to have this date,
505
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:51,805
well, uh, I'll be glad
to do it for you.
506
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:55,392
You would, Sergeant?
Well, thank you very much!
507
00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:56,727
It's okay, Pyle.
508
00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:58,938
I'm always glad
to help out one of my men.
509
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:05,361
Has she, uh, come in yet?
510
00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:07,112
Take a look.
511
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,238
Okay.
512
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,621
Yeah, that's her,
all right.
513
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,539
Duke said she was tall.
514
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,091
Well, like you said,
Sergeant,
515
00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:28,342
y'all have fun.
37968
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