All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S01E09 Survival of the Fattest 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band playing]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

Well, here, for example,
is some tree bark that would be edible.

And water that you'll find when you dig

for underground streams
will look like this.

However, after you've filtered
it with a piece of cloth and boiled it,

it would be safe for drinking.

Now then,

the reason for this particular briefing

is because of the special operation
this platoon has been chosen for.

It's a survival test,
and it's just what the name implies.

It's a rigorous, challenging test

to survive under the most adverse
and primitive conditions.

[in southern accent]
Sounds like fun.

We feel this is an essential part
of your training.

It's not uncommon for a group
to find itself in the wilderness

with inadequate equipment and no food.

Under those conditions
you have one main function,

to survive, to live off the land.

In the test,
this platoon will be abandoned

in a totally uninhabited area
for a period of five days.

You will operate in teams of two.

How well each team comes out of the test

will depend on their resourcefulness.
Any questions?

Sir, is that the only kind of
food we can expect to find?

- Roots and berries?
- Correct.

Berries, edible roots, the bark of some
trees. Certainly enough to sustain.

However, I must point out, you'll probably
all come back five or six pounds thinner.

That's to be expected.

I always lose it in my face first.

Do you have a question, Private?

No, sir, I was just saying
I always lose it in my face first.

My cheeks get all hollow.
It's nothing to worry about.

I never feel as bad as I look.

We'll bear that in mind.

Now, during the coming week,

your troop leader will put you
through a training program

to prepare you for this test.

You will receive instructions
in mapping, foraging.

All phases of survival.

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

Carry on. Good luck.

Thank you, sir.

Corporal.

All right, Corporal, these are the teams.

Slater is all right on first aid.
He can go with Peters.

He can take care of the mapping.

Burnside. Sailing, was it?

Well, he can team up with Fletcher.
He'll handle the foraging.

Pyle.

Pyle.

Let's see, uh...
What was he good at, huh?

Pyle. I'd better go with you.

He picked me over everybody.

Lucky you.

You know, him and me
just hit it off good right from the start.

Just one of them lucky things,
I guess, to find a buddy like that,

somebody to watch over you
and to look after you

and to keep an eye on you.

[Carter] Pyle, you're in attention!
Keep that mouth shut.

See?

[Carter] All right, first team out.

You guys have a lot of fun
down there, hear?

- Watch out.
- [man] Watch that snake in the grass.

Okay, Pyle.

All right, Charley.

Do you want me to get out
my compass now, Sergeant?

No, Pyle, don't you do anything.

But I can read my compass real good now.

Fine, fine. Just do as I tell you,
and life will be beautiful.

Yes, sir. This is really gonna be fun
out here, just you and me.

This might be all right.

This sure is pretty.

Reminds me of a spot
in the hills back home

where we buried Grandpa Stokes.

Peaceful and shady.

We'll make it here.

Grandpa Stokes would have
liked it here, too.

We can set up the tent right over here,
next to this tree.

That's how we buried
Grandpa Stokes, right near a tree.

I'll go out and do some foraging,
and you set up the camp.

Maybe if I was to forage some, too, sir.

You set up the camp.

- But, sir, I was thinking...
- Pyle!

Sit down, Pyle.

[sighing]

Pyle, we're gonna be cooped up
out here for five days.

Five long days.

Just you and me. Nobody else.

Now, we don't wanna get
on each other's nerves, do we?

Oh, no, sir.

And you ain't got a thing
to worry about neither, sir.

'Cause not one time have you
ever got on my nerves.

Not once.

That's real good news.

I've enjoyed serving under you, sir.

Good. Now, you'll fix up the camp, huh?

Yes, sir. And I'll fix it up
just as nice as I can.

Good.

And, sir,

it won't look nothing
like a burying place

like where we buried
Grandpa Stokes. No, sir.

All right.

I thought it'd make it look kind of homey.

Pyle, in case it hasn't been
made clear to you,

this is a military operation.

We're not setting up housekeeping.

No, Sergeant, but...

Pyle, suppose we were
suddenly surrounded by the enemy,

and they started shooting at us.

Gosh.

You'd be caught with
a helmet full of snapdragons.

Black-eyed Susan.

You see, the petals is a little smaller.

- Get rid of them!
- It's a different fragrance entirely...

- I said get rid of them!
- Yes, sir.

There must be some underground
streams around here someplace.

What if we don't find any?
We're down to half a canteen.

We'll find one.
It's just a matter of looking.

Instead of looking together,
maybe if I was to go out by myself...

Not again, Pyle.

Double our chances.

Look, Pyle, this kind of thing
takes experience.

Now, I've been through it.

It's not just the soggy ground
and the way the plants look.

You've almost got to be able to...

[sniffing]

Smell the water in the air.

Believe me, you wouldn't find it.

You don't have that experience.

I could try that smelling, too.

Okay, okay,

keep your eyes open
for some more berries.

More berries?

Five days of berries, it looks like.

Nobody said this was gonna be a party.

Are you complaining?

No, Sergeant.

Pyle, maybe I better tell you
the facts of life

about this project just in case
you don't remember.

We're gonna be out here for five days.

We're gonna have to find
our own food and water.

There are gonna be times
when we are hungry, thirsty, and tired.

It's gonna be rough.
It's gonna be hard.

We're gonna have to suffer a little.

But it has to be that way.
It that clear?

- Yes, sir.
- Good!

And I can't think of nobody
I'd rather be with

during trying times like that.

Thank you, Sergeant.

[sighing]

Hey, Sergeant.

Phew.

Looks like we both took
the same directions.

Yeah? Well, I found some.

Well, I sure got to hand it to you, sir.

I couldn't find
no underground streams no place.

You just wouldn't believe me, huh?

I kept looking at the ground and smelling.

It must be a knack, like you said.

Here we are.

Strain it and boil it,
and we're all set.

We can fill a canteen every day, easy.

Well, we don't really have
to go to all that trouble.

No?

We could just call room service

and ask them to send up
a pitcher of ice water,

or we can call one of them
bottled water companies

and ask for home delivery.

But since we can't do that, we'll...

It's what I was trying
to tell you, Sergeant.

I couldn't find one of them
underground streams no place,

so I done the next best thing.

I found one of them
over-ground streams.

You don't have to boil mine or nothing.

I know. I know.

[sighing]

That there over-ground stream,
I bet there's some fish in it.

Maybe.

Trout, most likely.

There could be smoked salmon,
but without a hook and a line,

they got nothing to worry about.

Yes, sir.

Raspberries don't stay
with you very long, do they?

Sort of like what folks say
about that there Chinese food.

Are you complaining?

No, Sergeant. No, sir.

It's just that I don't seem to have
as much get up and go

as I done yesterday.

And it's gonna be worse tomorrow
and worse the next day

and worse the day after that.

Get used to it, buddy.
We're on raspberries from here on out.

Yes, sir. Still,

I sure wouldn't mind having one of
them there Chinese dinners right now.

Some of that egg foo yong
and chow mein.

I bet that'd stick to your
ribs better than raspberries.

Pyle, stop thinking
about other kinds of food.

It only makes it worse.

I wasn't thinking about
other kinds of food. Only Chinese.

I wasn't even thinking about baked ham

or chicken or sweet potatoes,

- corn bread or...
- Pyle!

Eat your raspberries.

The main thing is to save your strength.

Rest whenever you can.

Yes, sir.

I bet they'd run around 10 inches.

Trout, that is.
Rainbow, most probably.

I've been thinking.

I might go back there
and try to scoop some out of the water

with my hands or my helmet or something.

Pyle, when you're on short rations,
you got to save your energy.

It don't make sense

to hike all the way back
to that creek and then strike out.

So let's drop it, huh?

- But if I was to...
- Drop it! Drop it!

Yes, sir.

I might have been
a little hasty in my judgment.

They could run 12 inches easy.

I just wanted you to have
the facts straight, sir.

I don't wanna hear one more word.

Not one more word, do you hear?

- I'm...
- Not one more word!

Yeah?

Well?

You sure were right
about that scooping, Sergeant.

I must have tried for an hour,
and I didn't catch a thing.

I knew you wouldn't.

You know, it's funny
how the mind works.

We were talking about this before,

but when I was waking up just now,
I could have sworn I smelled fish.

It's funny how the mind works.

That's what you call
the, uh, power of suggestion.

What's that?

I sharpened my key ring on a rock,
and it worked just fine.

You caught those?

Yeah, Sergeant.

- With, uh...
- Yeah.

Well, are they done yet?

Pretty near.

Good. Let's have 'em.

Well, do you know something, Sergeant?

I couldn't decide
whether to pan-fry them in their own oil

or to fillet 'em
and broil 'em on a stake over a low fire.

Let's have 'em.

Or I could have rigged up
some kind of cover and steam-baked them.

Let's have 'em.

- Or there's...
- Pyle, let's have 'em. Let's have 'em!

Yes, sir.

In another mile, we ought to
reach the given point.

Not a sign of a berry or nothing.

It's too bad we had to leave
that stream back there.

There's fish in there that's
just begging to be caught.

Chew on your bark.
It ought to hold you for a while.

Are you sure this is the right kind?

It seems like I've carved my initials
on more nourishing stuff than this.

At the moment,
it's all we've got. Eat your bark.

It'd be funny if we really got to like it.

Might turn into
half man, half termite.

[Carter] Hey.

Hey, Sergeant.
Did you find something?

Plant roots.
I told you I'd find something, didn't I?

What do they taste like?

They taste like plant roots.
What did you expect?

What's that for?

To put on the fire.

You don't cook plant roots.
You eat 'em raw.

- But, Sergeant.
- Yeah?

I got to thinking back there.

There might be some rabbits
here in this wood,

so I made me a trap
to try to snare one.

Pyle, don't tell me.

You caught seven rabbits,
they all weigh 10 pounds,

and each has a head
of lettuce in his mouth,

so we can have our salad.

Oh, no, Sergeant.

Pyle, there are no rabbits in these woods.

You're right, there sure aren't.

I wasted my time even thinking about it.

You should have asked me first.

- Yes, sir, I didn't catch no rabbit.
- I knew you wouldn't.

- But I did catch a wild pheasant.
- Huh?

Look good?

Hey, we can have
your plant roots on the side,

do you know, like greens?

My mama said you always ought to have
greens with your meal.

Lucky thing you found 'em.

Hey, Sergeant, do you want a cigar?

Those are homemade cigars

made right here in these woods.

I found some tobacco
down the road there a ways,

and I picked us a whole supply.

You wanna know how I made it?

No.

[Gomer] Hey, guys! Here we are!

Hey, did you miss me?

Boy, I sure missed you all.

We really did have fun.
Did y'all have fun, too?

[man] One fifty-seven.

It's the usual.

They all seem to lose about five pounds.

One seventy-four.

Try again. He was 169.

Right here's where it all is, sir.

Wait over there a moment.

Yes, sir.

Sergeant.

One sixty-seven.

That's a gain of six pounds.

- Really, sir?
- You men were a team, weren't you?

Yes, sir.

Did you take rations with you?

- No, sir.
- You sure?

We took no rations, positively.

You left the designated area.
You bought food, didn't you?

No, sir.

All right, I'll stop guessing,

and you tell me
how you go out on a survival test

and gain six pounds.

Well, uh...

For one thing,
I found a lot of berries.

Lots of berries.

And on the second day, I come
across this trout stream.

But you didn't have any equipment.

Well, sir, I tried scooping
them out with my hands,

but like the Sergeant said, that wasn't
no good, so here's what I done...

I also discovered some edible roots.

I cut off this branch,
and I got one of my shoe strings

and tied on the end of it.

And for a hook, I sharpened off
my key ring and I attached that...

...few hours later,
there was this wild pheasant

settin' in there in that snare,
just as pretty as you please.

Pyle, I must say,
you certainly were resourceful.

That's amazing. Absolutely amazing.

I also discovered some bark.

No wonder you picked Pyle
to be your teammate.

Pretty sly.

Yes, sir.

And then I found some plant roots.

We work real good as a team together.

Pyle, I want you to put this
all down in detail.

Yes, sir.
Hey, you want a cigar?

I made it myself.

Wanna know how I made it?

I was walking along,
and I found this tobacco...

Hey, Sergeant.

I just can't figure it out.

That's the way he's been to me
ever since we come back.

- So?
- You know something?

I don't think he likes me no more.

- Did he ever?
- Well, sure.

Used to, when he was
always yelling at me,

I knew we was good friends.

But he ain't yelled at me in two days.

He don't like me no more.

You wanna know why
he doesn't like you anymore?

Yeah. Why?

- You hurt his pride.
- What?

That's right. On the survival test.

Don't you know why
he took you along with him?

'Cause we was always hitting
it off so good, I thought.

No, Gome.
That's not the reason.

He went along with you to protect you,

to make sure you got through it okay.

- He did?
- Yeah.

And then what happens?
You go out there,

and you're like another Daniel Boone.

You get all the praise and everything.

The Captain makes a big deal over you.

Well, it--it hurt
the Sergeant's pride, Gomer.

Shazam.

I sure didn't mean
to do nothing like that.

[knocking on door]

Come in.

- Sergeant.
- Yeah?

I was just over to see Captain Hathaway.

Yeah? What for?

Well, sir,

to talk about
that there survival test we was both on.

Yeah?

Wanted some more compliments?
Get a few more pats on the back?

Make sure you get
all the credit. Is that it?

Oh, no, sir. I went
to tell the Captain the truth.

- The truth?
- Yes, sir.

What I done in the woods back there,

catching the fish
and the pheasant and all,

shoot, there wasn't nothing to that.

Back home, any 10-year-old
young one could have done the same thing.

We was practically brought up
in the woods.

But it was you, Sergeant,
that really got us through the thing.

Huh?

All that mapping and compass work,

and arriving where
we was supposed to,

I couldn't have done that
for the life of me.

I remember a couple of times there
that I would have gone off

in an altogether different direction.

I would have gotten lost,
sure as the dickens.

I didn't know where I was going.

You told all this to the Captain?

Yes, sir. I told him I'd have still been
out there if it hadn't been for you.

Well, you don't have any
scouting experience is why.

Well, you're right, sir,

but what I'm trying
to say is, Sergeant, that

I just couldn't have gotten through
the thing if it hadn't been for you.

The Captain really
appreciated hearing that.

He did, huh?

Okay, Pyle, you better get
back to your quarters.

Yes, sir, and if we go on one of them
survival tests again, I wanna go with you.

Yeah, all right, Pyle.

'Cause you really know
your way around.

- Yeah.
- Yes, sir.

You're the one I wanna buddy up with.

All right, Pyle.

On account of you know
how to get there and back.

Fine, I think you better be...

I'd still have been lost out there
if it hadn't been for you.

Pyle, don't you have
anything better to do

than to stand around here
running off at the mouth?

Get out of here.
Move! Move! Get!

Out. Out. Out...

Can't you find anything
to do around here?

- Hey, fellers.
- Yeah?

He likes me again.
He really likes me.

- Great, buddy.
- Swell. Good.

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Sir, Private Pyle reporting as ordered.

Here are your supply reports.

Oh, thank you, Pyle.

Are you rolling yourself
a cigar, Sergeant?

Yeah.

Well, if I may suggest, sir,

what you do is you start
with the point at the end

when you go to put on the outside leaf.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yes, sir.

And be sure
you start her slanty enough

so she'll point out proper at the end.

And then you tuck it like so.

And it comes out like this. See?

Yeah.

I declare, Sergeant,
you make 'em better than I do.

You really roll 'em good. Yes, sir.