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1
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:04,870
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:08,240
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,877
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,846
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:18,250
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,536
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,166
♪ All the things
that make us
8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,856
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:30,095
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:38,781
Hey.
What are you
working on?
11
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:42,185
Ah, just trying
to make some sense
of these numbers.
12
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,655
What the...
What did you hit?
13
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,257
What happened to my spreadsheet?
14
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:50,849
What exactly
was the endgame
if I hadn't walked in?
15
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,896
Ah! There's nothing worse
than grocery shopping
16
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,297
on the day before Thanksgiving.
17
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:58,090
Yeah, that's the sound
a rich family's turkey makes.
18
00:00:58,158 --> 00:01:00,592
There's still a lot more
groceries in the car.
19
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,927
Well, it's not a race.
Take a break.
20
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,574
Ugh, if you knew
how close we were
21
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,932
to putting you down last year.
22
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,645
Geez, what's her problem?
23
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,235
Ugh, Thanksgiving's exhausting.
24
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:11,381
You know what she could use?
25
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,705
A little sip
of that drink
I invented.
26
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,852
Hi! Stewie Griffin here
with my latest creation,
27
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,587
Monster Energy drink.
What is it?
28
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,989
I don't know,
but it's free
from this truck
29
00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:20,323
that stopped outside your work.
30
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:21,387
Mix it with booze.
31
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,759
Ever been
wide-awake-blacked-out?
32
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,327
Ever try to jump over
a train on a bike?
33
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,929
Ever bit the beak off a bird?
34
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:28,498
Monster Energy!
Put it in your body
and ask questions later.
35
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,442
It's green, so it's nature.
36
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,462
We now return to Guy Friends.
37
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,263
So, you must be pretty pumped.
38
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,765
For what?
39
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,411
Oh, Olympics.
Oh, yeah.
40
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,012
I guess that's starting soon.
41
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,736
I thought you were
a big Olympics guy.
42
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,839
Yeah, I like 'em okay.
43
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,206
Huh.
44
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:57,165
Mail's here.
45
00:01:57,234 --> 00:01:58,844
Any fliers of Hispanic women
46
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,880
running for city council?
47
00:02:00,904 --> 00:02:02,036
Yeah, there is.
48
00:02:02,105 --> 00:02:03,225
Thank you.
49
00:02:04,408 --> 00:02:06,941
Peter, you got a letter
from your sister Karen.
50
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:08,876
What? You've
got a sister, Dad?
51
00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:10,295
How come we've never met her?
52
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:13,916
Is she a prim and proper aunt
or a big, fat, dirty aunt?
53
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,701
I have no obligation
to tell any of you anything.
54
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,182
Mr. Griffin has shown
good faith in appearing
here today
55
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:22,473
and will not be subjected
to this sort of hostile
interrogation.
56
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:25,521
Your father
doesn't like to talk
about his sister, Meg.
57
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,524
They've never
really gotten along.
58
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:28,958
Wow, Peter, in all
the years I've known you,
59
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,494
you've never even
mentioned a sister.
60
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,262
Big deal, I don't
talk about my sister.
61
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,570
I also don't talk about
that tickling uncle.
62
00:02:34,638 --> 00:02:37,305
All right, Uncle Dan,
remember. No tickling.
63
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:38,740
You got it.
64
00:02:40,778 --> 00:02:42,756
You didn't say anything
about Uncle Neil.
65
00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:44,613
Whose uncles are you?
66
00:02:44,681 --> 00:02:47,515
It says here your sister's
coming for Thanksgiving.
67
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,661
She what?
68
00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:49,996
If we're having guests,
69
00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:52,954
can I invite Rosario Vargas
from the third district,
70
00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:54,867
a leader you can depend on?
71
00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:56,235
I don't want Karen here.
72
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,794
Peter, you've been avoiding
your sister for too long.
73
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,423
Besides, she says
she's been having
74
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:01,691
Thanksgiving with your mother
75
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,215
for the last 20 years.
76
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,694
And now that
your mom has passed,
77
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,963
she'd like to spend
Thanksgiving with you.
78
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,075
No.
79
00:03:13,143 --> 00:03:15,077
Peter, Karen's coming
and that's that.
80
00:03:15,145 --> 00:03:17,512
How cool!
I didn't even know
I had an aunt.
81
00:03:17,581 --> 00:03:18,981
I can't wait to meet her.
82
00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:20,994
Look, I'm telling
you guys, it's gonna
be a disaster.
83
00:03:21,018 --> 00:03:23,563
Just like the
alternate ending of
Back to the Future.
84
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,920
Well, if I'm gonna
disappear into nothing,
85
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,522
I might as well bang my mom.
86
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,046
Hey, Lorraine, wait up!
87
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:38,850
Hi! My name's Marty!
88
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,769
I'm in a picture!
89
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,263
- We now return to
- The Cosby Show,
90
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,182
knowing what we know now.
91
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,562
Huh, I was so busy
not seeing color,
92
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,510
I didn't see the raping, either.
93
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:26,765
Okay, everyone.
94
00:04:26,817 --> 00:04:28,828
It'll be another hour
before the turkey's done,
95
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,386
but I made more appetizers.
96
00:04:31,454 --> 00:04:34,422
Oh, grape jelly
on a Triscuit.
You're a whiz.
97
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,825
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
slow down.
Save your appetite.
98
00:04:36,894 --> 00:04:37,937
And don't think
I haven't noticed
99
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:39,361
you've already had two drinks.
100
00:04:39,396 --> 00:04:41,741
You're, like,
all the worst parts
of a girlfriend.
101
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,282
Ah, that must be Karen.
102
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,583
I'll get it.
103
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:46,696
Aunt Karen?
104
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,286
And you must be Meg.
105
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,556
Do that to me!
106
00:04:56,012 --> 00:04:59,114
Wow, it's so cool
that I've got an aunt
I didn't know about.
107
00:04:59,182 --> 00:05:01,566
Oh, Karen, I'm so happy
you could make it.
108
00:05:01,618 --> 00:05:04,886
Lois Pewterschmidt.
The one that got away.
109
00:05:04,955 --> 00:05:06,066
I'm just joshing, kid.
110
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:08,323
Auntie's not a biscuit-bumper.
111
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:12,627
I'm not, either!
112
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:14,896
Peter, come say hello
to your sister.
113
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,665
Ah, fine.
114
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,412
Hey, Karen.
Welcome to our...
115
00:05:19,436 --> 00:05:21,269
Bring it in, Pee Pee!
116
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:25,940
I like her.
117
00:05:26,009 --> 00:05:29,628
Hello. I am
City Councilwoman
Rosario Vargas.
118
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:33,464
Quahog doesn't work
if it doesn't work
for all of us.
119
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:36,768
That's a beautiful
pantsuit, Ms. Vargas.
120
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:45,221
Well, Karen,
nice to meet you.
I'm Glenn Quagmire.
121
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,823
I didn't know Peter
even had a sister.
122
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,030
What are you,
ashamed of me,
Chin Nuts?
123
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:52,179
Oh, my God.
His chin kind of
does look like nuts.
124
00:05:52,236 --> 00:05:54,214
I never noticed that.
125
00:05:54,238 --> 00:05:55,670
How could you not notice it?
126
00:05:55,739 --> 00:05:58,740
Watch this,
I'll punch him
in the nuts.
127
00:05:58,808 --> 00:06:00,741
Sort of clever.
128
00:06:00,811 --> 00:06:03,745
Wait a second. I know you.
You're that lady wrestler.
129
00:06:03,814 --> 00:06:05,014
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's right.
130
00:06:05,048 --> 00:06:06,392
Hey, what do they
call you again?
131
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:08,549
Heavy Flo.
You're Heavy Flo!
132
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,751
In the flesh and blood.
133
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,753
Gross.
Man, you're amazing.
134
00:06:12,822 --> 00:06:14,742
I remember
when you called out
Andrea the Giant
135
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,541
the day after September 11th.
136
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:19,010
What just happened
was a national tragedy,
137
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,723
but it's nothing
compared to what
138
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,314
I'm gonna do to
Andrea the Giant!
139
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,328
We will never forget
what happened yesterday,
140
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,762
but you'll also never forget
141
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:28,864
what's gonna happen
September 17th
142
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,973
at the Jack Witschi's
Sports Arena!
143
00:06:32,042 --> 00:06:34,553
Peter, I can't believe
you've kept your sister
a secret.
144
00:06:34,577 --> 00:06:35,655
She's amazing!
145
00:06:35,679 --> 00:06:36,856
Yeah, she's crazy strong.
146
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,813
Like Superman on a date.
147
00:06:38,882 --> 00:06:41,316
Yeah, I wasn't here,
but I heard her scream,
148
00:06:41,385 --> 00:06:43,318
so I came flying in
and found her like this.
149
00:06:43,387 --> 00:06:44,452
It's weird.
150
00:06:44,521 --> 00:06:45,898
Same cause of death
as those three guys
151
00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:47,722
in that local public bathroom.
152
00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:49,424
Unsolvable.
153
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,025
Now do you see
why I didn't want
Karen here, Lois?
154
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,227
She terrorized me
my whole childhood.
155
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,397
Now she's got to
embarrass me in front
of my friends?
156
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,587
Peter, Bonnie
just changed Joe
on the table.
157
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,022
What are you worried about?
158
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,968
Still, I don't want
to go back out there.
159
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:09,093
Look, I know you've
had your differences,
but Karen's your sister.
160
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,695
And you're grown-ups now.
161
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,815
Can't you just go out
there and pretend to
have a good time?
162
00:07:13,883 --> 00:07:15,461
Fine, I'll play along.
163
00:07:15,485 --> 00:07:17,485
I guess I've lied before.
164
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,606
Where you going?
Home.
165
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,109
Where's home?
The White House.
166
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,181
Okay, I'm here.
This is my house.
167
00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:31,969
You can go now.
Thanks for taking
me home.
168
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,218
Go ahead, go inside.
169
00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:34,953
I will. You can
drive away now.
170
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:37,567
No, no, I want to
make sure you get
inside safe.
171
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,368
Yeah, but I got
to look through
the mail first.
172
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,992
You know how it is.
Really, I insist.
173
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,326
It's totally okay. Go.
174
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,841
At this point,
it's more about me
than it is you.
175
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,041
It's a bad neighborhood.
176
00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:47,477
If I don't see you go inside,
177
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:50,101
I'll be thinking
about it all night.
178
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,320
Come on in,
Mr. President!
179
00:08:22,552 --> 00:08:23,752
And then, so I'm like,
180
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:25,386
"Peter, how was
I supposed to know
181
00:08:25,455 --> 00:08:29,591
"you didn't want
your teammates to know
you wore a bra?"
182
00:08:29,659 --> 00:08:32,193
It was a custom-designed
sports halter top.
183
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,957
More stories!
More stories!
184
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:37,949
Hey, tell one where
Peter is a nincompoop
or maybe a silly billy.
185
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,435
Oh, man.
186
00:08:40,503 --> 00:08:42,181
Okay, let's just
carve the turkey.
187
00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:43,737
Oh, Aunt Karen
already carved it.
188
00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:45,773
She did?
But that's my thing.
189
00:08:45,842 --> 00:08:47,286
I always do my
"Are you a leg man
190
00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:48,787
"or a breast man" joke.
191
00:08:48,811 --> 00:08:51,079
Aunt Karen
did that, too.
It was hilarious.
192
00:08:51,147 --> 00:08:53,781
I never really got it
until she said it.
193
00:08:56,853 --> 00:08:59,498
Hey, Karen, later
you got to show us some
of your wrestling holds.
194
00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:00,666
Yeah, what's that trademark
195
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:01,901
finishing move of yours?
196
00:09:01,925 --> 00:09:03,258
The Toxic Shock.
197
00:09:03,326 --> 00:09:05,827
Oh, yeah,
that move is badass!
You're awesome.
198
00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:08,007
Know what
else is awesome?
This stuffing.
199
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:09,063
Thank you, Glenn.
200
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,593
You're welcome.
I'm in a good mood.
201
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,751
Sure, what the hell,
I'll show you my moves.
202
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,252
Maybe after dinner.
203
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,432
No, no, no.
The family football
game is after dinner.
204
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:17,738
We do it every year!
205
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,052
Peter, calm down.
You're making
a scene.
206
00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:22,544
It's not my fault, Lois.
She's ruining Thanksgiving!
207
00:09:22,612 --> 00:09:25,230
The way Tim Burton ruined
the Fourth of July!
208
00:09:29,719 --> 00:09:31,486
♪ Spooky! Happy!
209
00:09:31,555 --> 00:09:33,404
♪ Spooky! Happy!
210
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,006
♪ Weirdness! Weirdness!
211
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,343
♪ Spooky! Happy!
La, la, la!
212
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,729
♪ Weirdness, weirdness
Patriotic weirdness
213
00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:45,216
♪ Barbecuing human heads
Every president is dead
214
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:49,120
♪ Everybody's gonna die
Have a dark and dead July ♪
215
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:55,092
Fat chicks with black hair
get tattoos of me!
216
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,581
God, I love this time of year.
217
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,850
It's just past
all the amazing
colors of fall,
218
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,674
and before the white of winter.
219
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:11,876
Just brown and gray.
220
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,028
Magical.
221
00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:14,696
All right, let's do this.
222
00:10:14,764 --> 00:10:16,075
All right, listen up,
I'm the captain.
223
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:18,299
The teams are chosen
by a lottery system where...
224
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,829
Aunt Karen,
can I be on
your team?
225
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,369
Yeah, yeah, me, too!
226
00:10:21,438 --> 00:10:22,615
Ah, yeah, sure,
227
00:10:22,639 --> 00:10:26,140
I'll take Meg, Skinny,
Hot Chocolate
and The Bus.
228
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:28,754
Pee Pee,
you get the crumbs.
Let's go.
229
00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:30,098
All right, let's do it, Pop!
230
00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:32,397
I'm gonna make some
sports points for you!
231
00:10:32,449 --> 00:10:33,831
We'll kick off.
232
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,982
Hey, time out!
Did anyone tape
the parade?
233
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:42,086
Please tell me
someone taped
the parade!
234
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:49,225
Oh, my God!
She's doing
The Toxic Shock!
235
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:03,495
You're a jerk, Karen!
236
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,707
What the hell was that?
237
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:05,997
That's his stutter.
238
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:09,250
And whenever he stutters,
he usually pees his pants.
239
00:11:09,319 --> 00:11:11,819
No, I don't.
240
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,156
Oh...
241
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,345
So this is football.
I like it.
242
00:11:27,703 --> 00:11:29,870
Hi, Dad.
Look, I just want
you to know,
243
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,180
I feel bad about what happened
244
00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:32,801
with you and Aunt Karen
the other day.
245
00:11:32,842 --> 00:11:34,019
Oh, you mean when
she put me in that
246
00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:35,688
no-bottom James Bond chair
247
00:11:35,712 --> 00:11:37,055
and assaulted my grundle?
248
00:11:37,079 --> 00:11:38,446
I didn't even know about that.
249
00:11:38,515 --> 00:11:40,981
Well, that's 'cause
it didn't happen.
250
00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:42,828
I'd kick her ass
if she tried
something like that!
251
00:11:42,852 --> 00:11:44,151
Dad, stop.
252
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,354
Even I can see
that your sister's
a huge bully.
253
00:11:46,423 --> 00:11:49,290
And trust me, I know
more about getting
bullied than anyone.
254
00:11:49,359 --> 00:11:51,609
You do? How?
255
00:11:51,661 --> 00:11:55,547
♪ Celebrate good times,
come on
256
00:11:59,569 --> 00:12:03,471
♪ Celebrate good times,
come on ♪
257
00:12:05,675 --> 00:12:07,041
Man, I love that song.
258
00:12:07,109 --> 00:12:09,076
Dad, what I'm trying
to tell you is,
259
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,713
I now see why you've
been so tough on me
all these years.
260
00:12:11,781 --> 00:12:13,426
'Cause it makes
my friends laugh?
261
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:16,834
No, because that's
how Aunt Karen treated
you when you were a kid.
262
00:12:18,221 --> 00:12:19,453
That's right.
263
00:12:19,522 --> 00:12:21,066
And that's why
you need to
confront Karen.
264
00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:22,835
Oh, no. No. No,
I can't do that.
265
00:12:22,859 --> 00:12:25,737
I tried for years
to stand up to her.
Nothing ever worked.
266
00:12:25,761 --> 00:12:27,295
What, so now you're gonna quit?
267
00:12:27,363 --> 00:12:29,998
You can't quit.
What if Muhammad Ali
had quit?
268
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,483
Ah, my grandchildren!
269
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,996
Who would like me
to read them a book,
270
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,520
or maybe paint their name
on a grain of rice?
271
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,723
Honey, dinnertime!
272
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,859
Ah, my favorite.
Hot soup.
273
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,128
Right in there.
274
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,563
Dad, I know
you can stand up
to Aunt Karen.
275
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,532
And maybe if you finally do,
276
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,167
she'll stop terrorizing you,
277
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:52,103
and you won't have
to take it out on me
for the rest of my life.
278
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,839
You know what, Meg?
You're right!
279
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,707
I'm gonna do it!
You are?
280
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,776
Damn right!
Yay, Dad!
281
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,823
I am gonna become
a lady wrestler
282
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,148
and defeat Heavy Flo
in the ring.
283
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,415
Wait. What? No!
284
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,351
What? I meant
go talk to her.
285
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,547
Nope, it's got to be
a lady wrestling match.
286
00:13:08,571 --> 00:13:09,915
Hey, Meg, Thanksgiving's over.
287
00:13:09,939 --> 00:13:13,006
Come help me with
the Christmas decorations.
288
00:13:13,075 --> 00:13:15,193
Meg! Help me with
the Christmas decorations!
289
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,963
Comments?
Questions?
290
00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:26,020
What the hell are you...
291
00:13:26,088 --> 00:13:28,000
I'm sorry.
Chris had his
hand up first.
292
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:29,101
Chris?
293
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:30,591
What's the capital of Maryland?
294
00:13:30,660 --> 00:13:32,738
I do not know,
but that's a very
good question.
295
00:13:32,762 --> 00:13:33,822
Now, Lois?
296
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:35,647
Peter, what the hell
are you doing?
297
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,248
First, it's not Peter.
298
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,851
When I am in this outfit,
I am Maxi Paddy,
299
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:42,386
the fiercest enemy of Heavy Flo.
300
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,121
Peter, you look...
Okay, that's clever
301
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,157
but, Peter, you look ridiculous.
302
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,524
Take that off.
303
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:48,770
If you want
to settle things
with your sister,
304
00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:50,194
just go talk to her.
305
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,674
No, Lois,
the only way to settle
a family dispute
306
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:54,048
is in the cage.
307
00:13:54,117 --> 00:13:55,827
I mean, you don't understand.
308
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:58,964
Karen made me feel worse
than a guy getting cut
from a baseball team.
309
00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:00,065
You wanted to see me, Coach?
310
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,389
I'm sorry, Kyle.
311
00:14:01,457 --> 00:14:03,541
You can't do this
boring, stupid thing
with us.
312
00:14:07,497 --> 00:14:10,230
All right, Peter,
your sister's
the real deal.
313
00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:13,133
So I arranged
for you to get
some combat pointers
314
00:14:13,202 --> 00:14:15,803
from my old buddy,
Steven Seagal.
315
00:14:15,872 --> 00:14:17,104
Uh...
316
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:18,250
This...
This fat guy?
317
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,274
Yup.
318
00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:21,008
Go on, ask him anything.
319
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,043
How... How did...
320
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,423
Why...
Why you so fat?
321
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,214
Okay, ask him
about anything
but his weight.
322
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,616
Uh...
323
00:14:28,685 --> 00:14:30,963
You act Asian,
you look
Native American,
324
00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:33,087
your name is possibly Jewish.
325
00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:34,321
What are you?
326
00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:35,757
He fat.
327
00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,605
All right, Peter,
most professional
wrestlers
328
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,907
become addicted
to painkillers
at some point.
329
00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:45,300
So I figure,
why don't we
just start now?
330
00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,212
Uh, okay, yeah, I'm in.
331
00:14:47,236 --> 00:14:48,581
Where you getting all these?
332
00:14:48,605 --> 00:14:50,104
Stepdaughter's purse.
333
00:14:50,173 --> 00:14:52,440
Ain't my problem.
334
00:14:52,509 --> 00:14:56,977
Man, I love putting
my hand down my pants
when I'm on drugs.
335
00:14:57,046 --> 00:15:01,315
We should just
go live on a boat
in some guy's backyard.
336
00:15:01,384 --> 00:15:03,429
So, you gonna do
that wrestling stuff?
337
00:15:03,453 --> 00:15:05,386
Nah, I'm gonna stick with these.
338
00:15:05,455 --> 00:15:07,921
I would crime for more of these.
339
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,770
Okay, now if you're
gonna defeat your
sister in the ring,
340
00:15:11,794 --> 00:15:13,672
you got to get to
the root of your fears.
341
00:15:13,696 --> 00:15:15,429
We got to go back
to your childhood,
342
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,198
so I'm gonna hypnotize you.
343
00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:19,433
Okay, go back.
344
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,902
Now, we need to go back in time.
345
00:15:24,707 --> 00:15:26,908
My jeans are husky.
346
00:15:26,976 --> 00:15:30,444
Okay, further.
Further. Little further.
347
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:33,347
Now, open your eyes
and tell me what you see.
348
00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:38,869
I see the six stations
of the Lord's order,
and they will all burn!
349
00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:40,198
Okay, too far!
Too far! Too far!
350
00:15:40,222 --> 00:15:43,107
Come back. Come back.
Come back.
351
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:46,644
Hey, can I make
my husky jeans into
cutoffs for swimming?
352
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,040
Ah, forget it.
You're ready.
353
00:15:48,064 --> 00:15:49,697
Yeah, Peter. I think
you're gonna win!
354
00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:51,065
All right!
355
00:15:51,133 --> 00:15:52,811
Hey, thanks for all
your help, you guys.
356
00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:54,012
You know, there's
only two things
357
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,514
I've wanted to do my whole life.
358
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,948
Put my sister in her place
359
00:15:56,972 --> 00:15:59,172
and go to Chico's Monkey Farm.
360
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,175
♪ Chico's Monkey Farm
361
00:16:02,245 --> 00:16:04,261
♪ Come and have
a howling good time
362
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,225
♪ Ooh, ooh, ah, ah
Ooh, ooh, ah, ah
363
00:16:06,249 --> 00:16:08,165
♪ Chico's Monkey Farm
364
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:10,501
♪ The only
drive-through monkey farm
365
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:11,613
♪ In Northern
Southern Rhode Island
366
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,653
♪ Ooh, ah
367
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,455
♪ Chico's Monkey Farm
368
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,691
♪ After a prolonged litigation
We're finally open again
369
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,809
♪ Ooh, ah
370
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,527
♪ Chico's Monkey Farm
371
00:16:20,597 --> 00:16:22,630
♪ There's a fair amount
of paperwork
372
00:16:22,699 --> 00:16:24,659
♪ Before you get
to see a monkey
373
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,116
♪ So allow for extra time
374
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,201
♪ Ooh, ah
375
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,203
♪ Chico's Monkey Farm
376
00:16:29,272 --> 00:16:30,588
♪ Keep your windows rolled up
377
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,824
♪ 'Cause the monkeys
will pry 'em open
378
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,736
♪ And they're known
to strangle kids
379
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,844
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, ah! ♪
380
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,897
Chico's Monkey Farm
Now open pending how it goes.
381
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:54,245
And we've got
quite a match tonight
382
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,980
between Heavy Flo
and another woman
whose name I've forgotten
383
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,815
but I'm sure is a gross pun.
384
00:16:58,884 --> 00:16:59,995
Right you are, Bill.
385
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,130
Tonight, she's up against
386
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,348
Her Vajesty's Secret Cervix.
387
00:17:03,372 --> 00:17:05,116
Interesting fact, these two gals
388
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:07,675
have over eight meters
of ass crack between them.
389
00:17:07,743 --> 00:17:09,376
One! Two! Three!
390
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,263
It's over!
391
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:17,568
And once again,
a Heavy Flo has ruined
another lady's evening!
392
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,455
You ain't no champ!
393
00:17:21,524 --> 00:17:23,491
Not till you go through me!
394
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,942
Who the hell are you?
395
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:28,412
I'm Maxi Paddy,
which is short
for Maxine Patricia.
396
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,801
I was named
after my father,
Maxwell Patrick.
397
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,767
But that's enough about me.
I'm here to kick your ass!
398
00:17:33,837 --> 00:17:35,136
Get out of here!
399
00:17:35,205 --> 00:17:37,732
I'm not fighting
some fat loser
from the crowd.
400
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:42,593
Huh, it looks like
this Heavy Flo is pee,
because you're yellow!
401
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:45,237
Well, that didn't quite track,
402
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,131
but the crowd
seems to be on board.
403
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,366
It sure does!
404
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,662
Looks like
Heavy Flo has
a challenger!
405
00:17:50,686 --> 00:17:52,831
All right, get up here,
but make it quick.
406
00:17:52,855 --> 00:17:55,356
I got a Lampoon
reunion to get to.
407
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:57,119
Heavy Flo, always finding a way
408
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:59,343
to drop her Harvard degree
into conversation.
409
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,279
Yes, very off-putting, Bill.
410
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:02,624
Those of us who went to Harvard
411
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,626
really don't appreciate it.
412
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:11,839
Ow! Damn it, Karen!
413
00:18:11,908 --> 00:18:13,074
Karen?
414
00:18:13,142 --> 00:18:15,475
Peter, is that you?
What are you doing here?
415
00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:18,195
Something I should have
done a long time ago.
416
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:21,115
I'm tired of
you bullying me!
You're going down!
417
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:23,935
Butt-scratcher?
Butt-scratcher!
418
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,498
Don't, Karen!
419
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,250
Toxic Shock! Toxic Shock!
420
00:18:58,287 --> 00:19:00,454
Oh, my God,
she's taking it
too far!
421
00:19:00,522 --> 00:19:02,823
Heavy Flo is gonna
break this girl's arms!
422
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:05,259
Woman's arms.
Come on, Bill.
423
00:19:06,028 --> 00:19:07,477
No!
424
00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:11,799
Tell Stewie
he's in charge
of the show now.
425
00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:17,488
Say hello to Teen LaQueefa!
426
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:21,425
One! Two! Three!
427
00:19:22,778 --> 00:19:24,077
I don't believe it!
428
00:19:24,146 --> 00:19:27,297
Heavy Flo is down,
and we have a new
champion!
429
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:29,466
I tell you, this is one
for the books,
430
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:32,753
if anyone kept track
of this nonsense!
431
00:19:32,822 --> 00:19:35,217
Wow, you really
saved me!
Thanks, stranger.
432
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,841
Dad, it's me.
433
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,576
Meg?
434
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,273
It was you who saved me?
435
00:19:41,297 --> 00:19:42,829
That's right, Dad.
436
00:19:42,898 --> 00:19:45,510
Even after all
the crummy stuff
I've done to you?
437
00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:47,534
But why?
Because you're my dad.
438
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,003
And I couldn't stand by
and watch you get hurt.
439
00:19:50,072 --> 00:19:51,938
Wow. Thanks, Meg.
440
00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:53,552
You know,
that's something even
my own mom and dad
441
00:19:53,576 --> 00:19:54,720
never did for me.
442
00:19:54,744 --> 00:19:57,088
They just stood by
and let Karen
pick on me.
443
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,963
Well, you deserve
better. We all do.
444
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,953
You know, Meg, I'm really sorry
445
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,268
I treated you so badly
over the years.
446
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,087
I guess I was taking out
all the pain I felt on you.
447
00:20:07,156 --> 00:20:10,424
I understand.
Better than anybody.
448
00:20:10,493 --> 00:20:12,610
But I still love you, Dad.
449
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,478
I love you, too, Meg.
450
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,219
Did somebody order
a hot-ass bitch
and this lady?
451
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,054
Oh, you're alive.
452
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:26,223
Sorry, I was told
I was in charge now.
453
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,792
Well, if you die,
454
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,340
this is kind of
the creative direction
I'm leaning toward.
455
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,166
Well, I'm proud of you, Dad.
456
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,968
You finally stood up
for yourself.
457
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:40,004
So, Peter, have you
talked to Karen?
458
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,449
I called, like, four times,
459
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:43,018
but she's not out
of the coma yet.
460
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,853
Apparently, they usually
use fake chairs,
461
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,121
but Meg used a real one.
462
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,912
Do they think
she's gonna survive?
463
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,280
It could go either way.
464
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,216
Hello?
465
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,930
No, I think
I'm a different
blood type.
466
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,498
No, I don't want to check.
467
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,882
Doctor says there's
nothing they can do.
34662
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