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1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:04,936
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:08,240
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,877
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,880
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:18,150
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,503
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,571 --> 00:00:23,088
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,790
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:29,928
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:37,480
Oh, man,
I've been dying to
see Maniac Pope 2.
11
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:38,815
The first one was awesome.
12
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,205
Is this one of those theaters
13
00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:42,285
where they bring
your beef stew
right to your seat?
14
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:43,954
What?
That's not a thing.
15
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:47,545
Sure is. Don't get mad
at me 'cause you don't
know nothing fancy.
16
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,070
I feel like I'm being watched.
17
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:03,862
Of course you are,
silly. The Lord is
always watching us.
18
00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:17,492
May the sword be with you.
19
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,413
And also with you.
20
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,750
Jeez, this movie sucks.
21
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,317
I know, it's terrible.
22
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:29,020
Excuse me,
who had the stroganoff
with the roasted potatoes?
23
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,289
Right here.
24
00:01:33,377 --> 00:01:35,794
Thank you for seeing me,
Your Excellency.
25
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,925
Of course.
What did you say your
name was, my child?
26
00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:39,949
Lucy.
27
00:01:42,753 --> 00:01:44,736
You've been Lucy-fied!
28
00:01:49,759 --> 00:01:51,526
That was awful.
29
00:01:51,595 --> 00:01:54,474
I know. They just
redid all the same stuff
from the first Maniac Pope.
30
00:01:54,498 --> 00:01:56,964
Yeah, like in
the first Maniac Pope,
he says to Bruce,
31
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,766
"You've been
Bruce-ified."
32
00:01:58,835 --> 00:02:00,680
Like, that's smart, right?
That's a smart line.
33
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,904
But he did
the same thing
twice in this movie,
34
00:02:02,972 --> 00:02:05,940
once to Lucy,
and once earlier when
he found that wild goose.
35
00:02:06,009 --> 00:02:07,620
It's just bad writing.
36
00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:09,155
Yeah, I mean,
we could write a better
horror movie than that.
37
00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:10,456
Really?
You think we could?
38
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,846
Absolutely.
39
00:02:11,915 --> 00:02:14,633
I'm as creative
as the first spider
to spin a web.
40
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,142
Hey, you know how
we always dreamed
41
00:02:16,186 --> 00:02:18,386
about having a house
that comes out
of our butts?
42
00:02:18,455 --> 00:02:19,587
Uh, what?
43
00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:21,990
Huh? Yeah. Butt-house.
44
00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:30,983
I found your cigarettes.
That's all I'm gonna say.
45
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,250
Morning, everybody.
46
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,252
And the crisis continues.
47
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:38,190
What, these?
Come on. The last thing
I want is attention.
48
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,725
It's just that
when you've read
as many books as I have,
49
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,060
it takes a toll, you know.
50
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,273
You sure it's not from watching
51
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,575
too much close-up
porn on your phone?
52
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,500
You know,
I wouldn't be surprised
if they have that now.
53
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,280
Brian, what do you
want for breakfast?
54
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:51,436
Uh, hold on.
55
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:57,225
What do I want?
56
00:02:57,294 --> 00:02:59,539
You're so full of it.
You don't need
those things.
57
00:02:59,563 --> 00:03:00,762
Wait, who said that?
58
00:03:01,532 --> 00:03:02,664
Oh, Stewie.
59
00:03:02,733 --> 00:03:04,365
You are just horrible.
60
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:07,555
You're even worse
than those people who
take dumps in the shower.
61
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:11,623
What?
Why are you cutting to me?
What did somebody say?
62
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,159
Whatever they said I do,
I don't do.
63
00:03:18,348 --> 00:03:20,326
All right, I got
a horror movie idea.
64
00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:21,894
It's called Cereal Killer.
65
00:03:21,918 --> 00:03:25,487
A serial killer who
only kills people
who eat cereal.
66
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:28,139
Wait, what if God
is a serial killer?
67
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,810
He lowers the average
lifespan of humans to 65,
68
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,380
but there are many exceptions
based on genetics and diet.
69
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,717
That's stupid,
I ain't never heard
of somebody lived to 65.
70
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,864
Look, you know,
I think the problem
is this is a bar.
71
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,454
We can't get inspired here.
72
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,667
We have to go someplace
scary, you know,
to put us in the mood.
73
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:47,893
Good idea.
What's the scariest
place in Quahog?
74
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,595
Quahog proper
or unincorporated Quahog?
75
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,942
Yeah, we know
you used to clerk
at the town hall.
76
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,450
I got it.
The old Quahog Asylum.
77
00:03:55,519 --> 00:03:58,920
What? Well, we can't go there.
That place has been
abandoned for years.
78
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,540
And they say
it's haunted by a ghost
with a hook hand.
79
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,191
That's why
it's the perfect place.
80
00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:04,604
If we want to write
a scary movie,
81
00:04:04,628 --> 00:04:05,905
we need to do it
somewhere scary.
82
00:04:05,929 --> 00:04:07,507
Well, I guess we could try it.
83
00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:10,032
We have sort of just been
spinning our wheels here,
84
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,499
no offense, Joe.
85
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:13,201
I guess Cleveland's right.
86
00:04:13,270 --> 00:04:15,103
So far, this has been
a bigger waste of time
87
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,873
than an acceptance speech
at the Asperger's Awards.
88
00:04:17,941 --> 00:04:21,243
I'd like to thank
everyone I've ever met
in the order that I met them,
89
00:04:21,311 --> 00:04:22,577
last name first,
90
00:04:22,645 --> 00:04:25,080
and if anyone interrupts me,
I'll have to start over.
91
00:04:58,064 --> 00:04:59,631
This place is terrible.
92
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,178
Are you kidding?
It's the perfect place
to write a horror movie.
93
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,562
All right, well, I got an idea.
94
00:05:03,586 --> 00:05:04,931
You know, I like
them horror movies
95
00:05:04,955 --> 00:05:06,599
where you got
a couple of teenagers
96
00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:09,023
getting busy in their
car at Make Out Point,
97
00:05:09,092 --> 00:05:11,025
but there's a killer
on the loose.
98
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:20,018
Hey, Stacy, what do you say
we go all the way tonight,
99
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:22,365
and then I unload
on the sun visors?
100
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,056
Is that all you
ever think about?
101
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,024
And besides, Richie,
aren't you worried
102
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,443
about what
the man on the radio
is saying right now?
103
00:05:28,511 --> 00:05:31,713
Another deadteenage couple was foundat Make Out Point,
104
00:05:31,782 --> 00:05:33,365
clawed beyond recognition.
105
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:36,301
You see?
There's a dangerous
creature out there.
106
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,048
Oh, what? You mean
the big, rabid,
slobbery cat
107
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,549
what's been scratching
people to death?
108
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,385
I don't believe
it exists, Stacy.
109
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:45,054
Now help me get
the right angle
and lower the visor.
110
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,246
Richie, did you hear that?
111
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,581
Will you calm down?
We're the only ones out...
112
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,104
Oh, my God!
113
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,115
Wait, you were
the guy and the cat?
114
00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:09,913
And what's with
that visor stuff?
115
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,520
Did Richie achieve release?
116
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:14,189
Okay, of the three of you,
Cleveland's the only
one who gets it.
117
00:06:14,258 --> 00:06:16,341
That's an awful idea.
Well, I got one.
118
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,320
We should write
one of them zombie movies,
119
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:21,290
where a guy wakes up
in a comfortable
cotton hospital gown
120
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:24,093
with the back open
so there's a nice
breeze on your behind.
121
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,584
And he's like, "This ain't bad,"
122
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:29,637
but then he notices
the hospital's empty.
123
00:06:34,744 --> 00:06:37,495
Nurse, I'm ready
for my sponge bath.
124
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,197
Hmm.
125
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:42,049
What happened to this place?
Everybody up and gone.
126
00:06:47,623 --> 00:06:49,441
Hmm, that's annoying.
127
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,247
Maybe it's a loose filament.
128
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,349
Nope, that's a busted bulb.
129
00:07:02,238 --> 00:07:05,140
These are all 145s.
I need a 180.
130
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:10,929
Well, now, maybe
I did need a 145.
131
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,633
Here we go.
132
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:19,887
Damn it, I guess
it's a wiring issue.
133
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,017
That's it?
What the hell?
134
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,420
When do the zombies show up?
135
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:26,794
That's the thing.
Their shuttle was late.
136
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:28,730
I don't know.
I was thinking
we write a movie
137
00:07:28,798 --> 00:07:30,732
where something
that's not supposed
to be scary
138
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,100
becomes scary.
139
00:07:32,169 --> 00:07:33,501
Like an evil doll.
140
00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:35,971
Yeah. Or like an
evil bar of soap.
141
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:38,959
Peter, I don't think
that's such a good...
Too late.
142
00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:43,961
Oh, yeah, that's nice.
143
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,248
Time to wash my body with
this harmless bar of soap.
144
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:54,172
Hey, Ambassador Mumbasa,
145
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,240
are you enjoying that
new soap I bought you
146
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,975
from that mysterious Chinese man
147
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,412
whose store was weirdly
not there the next day?
148
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,131
Ambassador Mumbasa?
149
00:08:04,268 --> 00:08:06,818
Oh, my God, Ambassador Mumbasa!
150
00:08:18,382 --> 00:08:22,033
Ambassador Mumbasa?
Assistant
Ambassador Armstrong?
151
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,135
Everything okay up
there with the bath?
152
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:43,338
I wonder if everything's okay
up at the old Embassy.
153
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:49,060
All right, maybe
coming here wasn't
such a great idea.
154
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:52,049
Is anybody else getting
a little freaked out by
all these scary stories?
155
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,482
Yeah. Even my spine
is tingling.
156
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:57,248
You guys, I'm scared.
You remember that movie,
The Blob?
157
00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,420
What if the Blob...
Let's get out of here.
158
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:02,957
Oh, damn it, it's locked!
159
00:09:03,026 --> 00:09:05,120
Oh, my God,
somebody must
have locked us in.
160
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:06,956
We're gonna die in here!
161
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,350
Sorry, guys, somebody
emailed me a video
of a sheep screaming.
162
00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:27,098
It was him.
It was the hook-handed
killer. He locked us in!
163
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,094
All the windows
have bars on them.
164
00:09:29,118 --> 00:09:32,248
I think the only way
out of here is through
this duct system.
165
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,639
Guys, do the words
"dead by dawn"
166
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,152
scrawled in feces
over there mean
we're in trouble?
167
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:38,454
Did you do it?
I did.
168
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,478
Then no.
169
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,863
Still sticking with
the glasses, huh?
170
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,454
What? Oh, right,
I have glasses.
171
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,668
They're such
a part of me now,
I forgot all about them.
172
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,591
You're gross.
173
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,071
You know, it's funny.
I've gotten an awful
lot of writing done
174
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,695
at that very table.
175
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,764
You're a writer?
176
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,077
I like to consider
myself an observer.
177
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,746
You have nice breasts,
for instance.
178
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,705
You wanna join me?
A guy with glasses
can't be all bad.
179
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,775
Thanks. Boy, it's loud
in here, huh?
180
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,806
When they said
"Professor Griffin"
I barely heard them.
181
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,596
That's it.
I'm putting an end to this.
182
00:10:15,665 --> 00:10:18,699
I'm gonna
destroy those glasses
if it's the last thing I do.
183
00:10:18,768 --> 00:10:22,587
You should really check
out the Thanksgiving
jazz CD they sell here.
184
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,567
Where the hell are we?
185
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,253
I heard something.
186
00:10:38,321 --> 00:10:39,871
Is someone else here?
187
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,924
Oh, my God,
it's hook-hand!
He's coming for us!
188
00:10:42,992 --> 00:10:45,204
Damn it, why can't
I get any reception?
189
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,495
Because we're in a basement
in the middle of nowhere.
190
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,930
Besides, if cell phones worked,
191
00:10:48,998 --> 00:10:50,632
every movie would be
two minutes long.
192
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,266
Like An Affair to Remember.
193
00:10:59,142 --> 00:11:02,176
Darling, I was running
to the Empire State
Building to see you,
194
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,845
but I got hit by a car.
195
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,964
No wonder you were late.
I'll be right down.
Are you okay?
196
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,216
I think I may be paralyzed.
197
00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:11,736
I'm sorry, there's nobody
here by that name.
198
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,598
Wow, Stewie,
thanks for taking me
to the spa.
199
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:25,378
Hey, you deserve it, buddy.
200
00:11:25,402 --> 00:11:29,471
So just relax,
take your glasses off,
take a nice, dry sauna.
201
00:11:29,539 --> 00:11:32,285
No glasses in the sauna,
just leave those puppies
in the locker.
202
00:11:32,309 --> 00:11:33,352
They'll be safe out here.
203
00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:34,409
Sounds good.
204
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,736
Hey, you all mind if
I spits on the rocks?
205
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,849
Make it a little steamy in here
206
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,685
for my spread-legged
stretchings?
207
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:50,308
Um, okay.
208
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,091
Come on, Chris.
Don't let me down.
209
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,781
Don't worry, Stewie.
210
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,494
Chris. What are you
doing in here?
211
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:01,152
I did it.
I locked us in the sauna.
212
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,221
You what?
Yup, it's all set.
213
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:07,341
It's turned up high,
and nobody is coming
for the whole weekend.
214
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,885
Boy, you guys sure look steamed.
215
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:19,682
This Family Guy
joke was written byJimmy Sullivan,
216
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:22,540
age nine,of Decatur, Georgia.Thanks, Jimmy.
217
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:25,743
And we'll pass alongyour gross requestto Mila Kunis.
218
00:12:34,471 --> 00:12:36,337
Those footsteps
are getting closer.
219
00:12:36,406 --> 00:12:38,973
Those aren't footsteps.
It's an old building.
Just relax.
220
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:41,442
Besides, I can see
an exit door right there.
Where?
221
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,522
Right there,
behind that guy
with the hook...
222
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,703
Everybody run!
223
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:05,294
Wait a minute.
There's four of us,
and one of him.
224
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,618
Yeah, let's get him.
225
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:12,818
Son of a bitch!
Take that!
226
00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:14,802
Die, hook-hand!
You won't kill us!
227
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:23,201
Um, Hook-hand's name
is Albert, and he's
dressed like a janitor.
228
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:29,174
I've been
trying to help you.
I'm the caretaker here.
229
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,659
Wait, you work here?
But you have a hook hand.
230
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:36,914
I was a soldier.
I lost my hand saving
six men in Korea.
231
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,066
Oh, God, he's a war hero.
232
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:42,837
He's dead.
233
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,121
What have we done?
234
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,274
We killed an innocent man.
235
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,682
Well, if this doesn't
justify a McFlurry,
nothing does.
236
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:06,260
Oh, my God,
we killed an innocent man.
237
00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:09,247
Now, look,
we gotta report this.
We gotta turn ourselves in.
238
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:12,950
No way. If we do that,
we'll all go to jail.
And I'm a cop.
239
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,336
Do you know what
they do to cops in jail?
240
00:14:15,405 --> 00:14:18,973
Hey, man. When you
were a cop, did they
let you use the siren?
241
00:14:19,041 --> 00:14:20,575
Yeah, it's part of the job.
242
00:14:20,644 --> 00:14:22,888
That's so cool.
Hey, hey, when
you were a cop,
243
00:14:22,912 --> 00:14:23,989
when you were going
to a crime scene,
244
00:14:24,013 --> 00:14:25,258
did you go,
"Chung-chung!"
245
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,392
Like Law & Order?
246
00:14:26,416 --> 00:14:28,215
No, that would be
very unprofessional.
247
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:29,462
All right, all right.
248
00:14:29,486 --> 00:14:31,397
Hey, check it out, man.
When you were a cop,
249
00:14:31,421 --> 00:14:33,299
did you ever, you know,
use your handcuffs
250
00:14:33,323 --> 00:14:35,234
when you were
getting kinky
with your girl?
251
00:14:35,258 --> 00:14:38,137
No, it's city property,
so you're not really
supposed to take those home.
252
00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:40,273
Oh, for sure, for sure.
Oh, hey, by the way,
253
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:43,537
a bunch of us
are gonna kill you
in the shower later.
254
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:52,223
Guys, before we lay
this former military
hero to rest,
255
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,669
does anybody want
to say something?
256
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,926
I do.
257
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,672
I didn't know Albert very well,
258
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:59,497
but I know he masturbated
with his left hand.
259
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,885
Good night, sweet prince.
260
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,146
Oh, because of the hook.
261
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,231
Okay, so we're all on
the same page, right?
262
00:15:06,255 --> 00:15:08,689
We bury the body,
we never speak of this again.
263
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:09,874
Deal.
Got it.
264
00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:10,942
Yup.
265
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,934
Wow! That was exhausting.
266
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,322
Wait a minute, is that his car?
267
00:15:35,285 --> 00:15:36,750
Oh, crap, it's still alive!
268
00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:49,046
It does not feel
like a Wednesday.
269
00:15:58,607 --> 00:16:00,374
What was that?
Who's there?
270
00:16:01,977 --> 00:16:05,579
Lois, if you kill a guy,
does he come back
and haunt you?
271
00:16:05,648 --> 00:16:09,248
Of course, Peter.
Now calm down and
go back to sleep.
272
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:20,578
Peter, I'm glad you're up.
I need to talk to you
about something.
273
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,380
I know what you did last night.
274
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,832
You do?
275
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,535
How could you do
something so heinous?
276
00:16:27,603 --> 00:16:29,269
Last night,
277
00:16:29,338 --> 00:16:33,607
you left your dirty
dishes in the sink.
It's disgusting.
278
00:16:33,676 --> 00:16:38,011
So I did half,
and I left the
other half for you.
279
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,281
Oh, forget it.
You'll just do it wrong.
I'll wash them myself.
280
00:16:41,350 --> 00:16:43,361
Why don't you just
go in the other room
and relax?
281
00:16:43,385 --> 00:16:45,352
I'll call you when
breakfast is ready.
282
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,621
Okay.
283
00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:50,324
Oh, my God, Peter,
come look at the newspaper!
284
00:16:50,393 --> 00:16:52,676
"Janitor dead."
285
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:53,995
What? No!
286
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,314
Right here.
My college roommate,
Jan Itter.
287
00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:59,416
She passed away yesterday.
288
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,729
Are we really doing this?
289
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,397
'Cause I didn't get, like,
any sleep last night.
290
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:05,022
What are you
freaking out about?
You didn't even know her.
291
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:08,370
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're right,
you're right.
292
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:11,546
You and the guys
killed and buried a man?
293
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,113
I knew you'd find out!
294
00:17:13,182 --> 00:17:16,183
Find out what?
I just got David
Sedaris' new book,
295
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,486
You and the Guys
Killed and Buried a Man.
296
00:17:18,555 --> 00:17:21,121
Okay, I am really on edge
and this thing we're doing,
297
00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:22,423
I'm not happy about it,
298
00:17:22,492 --> 00:17:24,603
and that's a very odd title
for a humorist's book.
299
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:27,127
Peter,
you're acting very weird.
Just go in the other room.
300
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:29,508
I don't want to go
in the other room,
I want to stay here
301
00:17:29,532 --> 00:17:31,892
and see what you're seeing,
because you're saying things
302
00:17:31,935 --> 00:17:34,413
that I think are something
totally different
than what they are.
303
00:17:34,437 --> 00:17:36,471
Peter, you're gonna
have a heart attack.
304
00:17:36,539 --> 00:17:38,473
I won't say anything,
I'll let you relax.
305
00:17:40,677 --> 00:17:44,429
They found
a body of a war hero
down by the old asylum!
306
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,409
Okay, that has to be something.
307
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,976
Uh, sorry, Peter,
308
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,569
I'm just singing along
with this old
John Mellencamp song.
309
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:55,940
♪ They went up there
to write a movie
310
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:59,777
♪ Peter, Quagmire,
Cleveland and Joe
311
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:03,247
♪ Killed the old
janitor war hero
312
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:06,116
♪ Just why, we'll never know
313
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:09,821
I don't remember this one.
Guess it's never been
in a car commercial.
314
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:13,023
♪ In a truck that's
built Dodge tough ♪
315
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,373
Oh, yeah, no, I know this one.
316
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:25,002
- Hey, Bri?
- Yeah?
317
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,738
Damn it! Ahhh!
There's glass in my eye!
318
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,707
Son of a bitch!
319
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,521
Mom says
dinner's at 6:00.
320
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:35,905
She wanted me
to tell people,
I don't know why.
321
00:18:41,237 --> 00:18:44,304
Guys, I'm kind of
freaking out about
killing that guy.
322
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,118
Anybody else have
a hard time sleeping?
323
00:18:46,142 --> 00:18:48,242
No, but there's an old
John Mellencamp song
324
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:49,877
you're not gonna
fucking believe.
325
00:18:49,946 --> 00:18:52,641
Wait, what's all this
stuff about you guys
killing someone?
326
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,065
Last night at the asylum,
we killed that war hero.
327
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,634
Whoa, whoa, what?
328
00:18:56,702 --> 00:19:00,371
You really killed someone?
Holy moly, I don't think
I want to hear this.
329
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,273
Quagmire, you were
there with us.
330
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:05,087
You're so weird.
Last night,
I was in St. Louis.
331
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,510
I even have a picture.
332
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,958
See that?
That's yesterday's date
on that newspaper.
333
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,714
On The Quahog Informant?
334
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:13,351
They sell
The Quahog Informant
in St. Louis?
335
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:15,130
Well, probably,
but good luck
with that whole
336
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,000
"you three and not me
killed a guy" thing.
337
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,069
Damn it, that bastard
is bailing on us.
338
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:22,860
He's a worse accomplice
than Johnny Wind Chimes.
339
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,597
Hey. Shh!
340
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,699
Sorry, it's my chimes.
341
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,021
I hate to frame you
like this, Quagmire,
but I gotta.
342
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,212
I can't go to jail.
343
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,680
They'll razz me good
on account of my belly.
344
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,120
Cleveland?
What are you doing here?
345
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,833
What are you both doing here?
346
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,257
Joe?
What the hell?
347
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,859
You backstabbers.
348
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,390
What the hell's going on?
349
00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,675
I'll tell you what's going on.
350
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,210
Cleveland's trying to frame me.
351
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,745
He's got my
miniature portraits
of cool guys.
352
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,381
Peter, those are baseball cards.
353
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,483
Whatever. He's using it
to frame me for murder!
354
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,939
Well, I'm not the only one.
355
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,942
Joe's got
my Sports Illustrated
football phone.
356
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:16,447
He was using this
as his main phone.
It is a mess over there.
357
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,082
Look at all you pathetic people,
358
00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:19,650
bringing stuff to
frame each other.
359
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:20,984
You're supposed to be friends.
360
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,452
Hey, that's my shovel.
361
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:25,389
Damn right.
That's how smart I am,
I only had to bring one thing.
362
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,675
This way I can dig the hole
and just throw this in.
363
00:20:27,743 --> 00:20:29,388
But once you throw it in there,
364
00:20:29,412 --> 00:20:31,652
how you gonna get
the dirt back on top?
365
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,197
Give me your shovel.
366
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,710
You're gonna have
to kill me first.
367
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,912
Not with my shovel.
That's brand new.
368
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,236
Give me back
my rattle-y plastic phone.
369
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,196
Wait, wait, wait, guys! Guys!
370
00:20:49,264 --> 00:20:50,330
What?
371
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:52,783
Don't you see? This.
372
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,852
This is our horror movie.
373
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:19,226
It doesn't feel
like a Wednesday.
374
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:23,525
Boy, that sucked.
375
00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:25,226
Yeah, I guess writing
a movie isn't as easy
376
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,862
as Joseph Gordon-Levitt
makes it look.
377
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,586
Hey, at least we gave it a shot.
378
00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:31,288
I just feel bad
we killed an innocent man.
379
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:33,506
Well, don't feel too bad.
Look at that.
380
00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:39,145
Oh, my God.
381
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:40,547
Wow! That's a relief.
382
00:21:40,616 --> 00:21:42,794
We may have
actually made this
town a better place.
383
00:21:42,818 --> 00:21:46,537
Yeah, what a monster.
But at least now
he's gone forever.
30297
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