Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,870
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:08,207
♪ Is violence in
movies and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:11,843
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,946
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:18,283
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,620
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,354
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:24,890
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:30,061
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:39,315
Oh, this is a big
moment for Stewie.
11
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,972
Big moment?
12
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,186
Come on, Lois, he's moving
from the green room
to the purple room.
13
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,687
And just last month,
we had to come here
14
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,456
when he went
into the green room
from the yellow room.
15
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:47,946
Oh, don't remind me.
16
00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,282
I'm gonna start
crying all over again.
17
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:53,919
I told work he was
getting dialysis,
so I got the whole day off.
18
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,655
Stewie Griffin,
welcome to the purple room.
19
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,763
Aw!
20
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,493
Wow, look at that.
21
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,829
This must be how
the Tin Man felt
when he finally got his heart.
22
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,798
And as for you, Tin Man,
23
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,067
a 19-year-old kid in Cincinnati
24
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:11,403
was struck by
a drunk driver last night.
25
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:14,239
And so, you've got your heart.
26
00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:15,785
You know,
it's kind of hitting me now
27
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,077
that maybe I was thinking
more metaphorically.
28
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:19,344
Oh, no.
29
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,481
You said you wanted a heart
over and over again.
30
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,683
You sang that
whole song about it.
31
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,453
We bumped you
right up to the top
of the donor list.
32
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,754
Which means
there's a father of three
in Nebraska
33
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,157
who, now, has
a very little chance
34
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,493
of receiving one
within the next 24 hours.
35
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,797
So feel good about that.
36
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,032
Now, who wanted the brain?
37
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:51,509
"And when
Alexander saw the breadth
of his domain, he wept,
38
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,678
"for there were
no more worlds to conquer."
39
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,191
All right,
take it down a notch, Stewie.
40
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,227
You just happen
to be the offspring
of a generation
41
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,995
that celebrates
their kids for nothing.
42
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,563
Everybody's always
getting an award.
43
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,087
Well, you've never
gotten an award.
44
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:05,123
Uh, what's that bowl
that says "good boy"?
45
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:06,752
You know,
that was our old dog's dish.
46
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,628
Hey, how are you?
47
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,408
I was just putting this cake
in my purse for a friend.
48
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,443
Listen, you probably
get asked this
49
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,534
all the time,
but have you ever modeled?
50
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,769
I've never even been
in a picture before.
51
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,582
Well, I don't just
shoot school events.
52
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:22,385
My real passion
is discovering
talent like yours.
53
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,142
Really?
You think I could model?
54
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,955
Sure. You've got
a great look.
55
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,392
Here's my number.
Give me a call if
you're interested.
56
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,449
Wow, me being a model.
57
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,718
I mean, I guess crazier things
have happened.
58
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,589
Heh-hoo!
59
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,429
We now return to
Rocky Dennis the Menace.
60
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,299
What the hell?
61
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,801
Oh, it's you.
62
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,604
My wife said I'm not allowed
to get mad at you anymore.
63
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,751
All right, see you later.
64
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,041
Where are you off to?
65
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:59,010
Actually, I met a photographer
at Stewie's school yesterday,
66
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,399
and he wants me
to model for him.
67
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,884
Lois, please send
these back to the factory.
I believe they're defective.
68
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:09,532
Oh, my God, Peter,
did you just rip
your own ears off?
69
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:13,558
It was the easiest way
to let her know
the news was ridiculous.
70
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,706
You know, it would be
nice if you guys
believed in me just once.
71
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,408
You're being terrible parents.
72
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,632
Even worse than John Edwards.
73
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,366
Kids, we need to talk.
74
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:23,935
Your mama has cancer.
75
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,071
And it's made me
incredibly horny.
76
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,139
Take care.
77
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,590
You know,
Brian, I gave some thought
78
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,791
to what you said the other day,
79
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,147
and I realized you're right.
80
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,617
Moving to the purple room
is not an achievement.
81
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:39,829
Stewie, what are you doing here?
82
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,531
I asked Peter to
read my manuscript,
83
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,266
and he said he had to
take you to dialysis.
84
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,522
Anyway, you got me thinking.
85
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,958
I've spent my entire
life in that ivory tower,
86
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:49,694
learning from pop-up books
and animal sound machines,
87
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,097
instead of actually
experiencing the world.
88
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,299
That's why I got this.
89
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:58,069
I'm gonna take a year off,
hit the open road and
live life to the fullest.
90
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,049
You're a baby.
How'd you afford a car?
91
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,740
Don't worry,
I got a great price on it.
92
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:04,409
You know how good I
am at making a deal.
93
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,811
All right, I have $50
for the first person
94
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,147
with a paper clip and
rouge in their purse.
95
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,149
Ooh, ooh! Monty, Monty!
96
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,117
Paper clip and rouge!
Paper clip and rouge!
97
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:14,387
Why do you have rouge?
98
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,831
I don't know, it's been
in the purse for ages.
99
00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:16,999
Why do you have a purse?
100
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:19,424
For the paper clips
and rouge, you idiot!
101
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,193
What are you gonna
buy with that $50?
102
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,301
Purses and rouge!
103
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,112
Sorry to use your
bathroom so much.
104
00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:31,570
I'm just really nervous.
105
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,538
You have nothing
to be nervous about.
106
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,106
This is gonna be fun.
107
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,408
Okay, well, here goes.
108
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,025
All right,
Meg, while we take these,
109
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,759
we can either play Freeze Frame
110
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,428
or She Works Hard for the Money.
111
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,551
Which would you prefer?
112
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,719
Can we play both?
113
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,466
Sure.
114
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:52,758
♪ She works hard for the money
115
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:56,327
♪ So hard for it, honey
116
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,964
♪ She works hard for the money
So you better... ♪
117
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,766
Well, that was a stupid idea.
118
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,802
But you, you were phenomenal.
119
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,436
You really think so?
120
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:06,738
Here, have a look.
121
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,567
I think these turned out great.
122
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,880
Wait, Ben, are they
all of my feet?
123
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,215
Well, Meg, the thing is...
124
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,850
My name's Evan, by the way.
125
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,586
A lot of people
will pay good money
for pictures of sexy feet.
126
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:24,122
Foot-fetish porn
sites are a huge business.
127
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,835
But when you asked me to model,
128
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,637
I thought you
meant real modeling.
129
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,828
This is real modeling.
And you could be
our next big star.
130
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:33,264
Really? I don't know.
131
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,999
Come on, it could be great.
132
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,468
You'll meet lots
of famous people.
133
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:37,668
Like Charles Barkley.
134
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:40,472
Hi, Meg.
You have nice feetses.
135
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,051
I want to put 'em
both in my mouth
136
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,909
and then make a slapping sound
on my bald head with 'em.
137
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,498
We have a tranq
gun if he gets rough.
138
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,853
♪ Highway run
139
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,222
♪ Into the midnight sun... ♪
140
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,070
Meg, why are you home so early?
141
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,006
Yeah, I thought you
were doing your
modeling thing.
142
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,597
I was. But what...
What's happening here?
143
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,143
Well, not that it's
any of your business, Meg,
144
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,913
but this is why
we've been married
as long as we have.
145
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,603
We do things together.
146
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,450
You think 20 years just happens?
147
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,706
No, it does not.
148
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,419
Now, tell us fast
about your nonsense,
149
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,120
so I can plow your
mother on the staircase.
150
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,856
Yeah, what kind of
photoshoot was it?
151
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,123
Did they take
a picture of you eating
152
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:23,715
a whole pizza pie next
to an astonished chef?
153
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,052
Actually,
Evan thinks I'm a natural
154
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,755
and that I'm gonna
be a huge success.
155
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,790
He thinks I could
be a famous model.
156
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:33,925
You, famous?
157
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,594
Oh, come on, Meg.
158
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,973
Your only chance at fame
would've been as
the dog on Frasier.
159
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:40,865
Well, of course I
respect my father.
He's a vet.
160
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,133
Woof!
161
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,301
Not that kind of vet.
162
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:51,075
So, where exactly
are we going anyway?
163
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:52,677
Brian, I think
the road has a way
164
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,179
of telling you
where you're going.
165
00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:59,684
There.
Rhode Island Folk Festival.
166
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,252
The road has spoken.
167
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,165
Huh, that actually
sounds kind of fun.
168
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,924
See, Brian?
This trip's already
off to a great start.
169
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,659
Certainly better
than that retreat
170
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,994
we went on with
the Quahog Baptist Choir.
171
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,665
Why don't we show
our visitors how we sing
what we see, y'all?
172
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:17,001
♪Sing what we see,sing what we see ♪
173
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,614
Brother Roscoe, what do you see?
174
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,783
♪ Oh, I see a Howard
Johnson's billboard
175
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,374
♪ Sing what you see
176
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,687
♪ Uh-huhAn old red barnthat needs a paint job
177
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,723
♪ Sing what you see
♪ Oh, yeah
178
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,680
♪ Boy in a truck
too young to drive
179
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,214
♪ Sing what you see ♪
180
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,049
Brian!
Oh, uh, uh...
181
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,918
Car?
182
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,119
Come on.
183
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,256
Let's just see what we see
and keep it to ourselves.
184
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,073
Hey, Evan.
185
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,663
Oh, good, Meg, you're here.
186
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,633
Grab a pair of dirty socks
and meet me by
the tub of dead mice.
187
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,402
Actually, Evan,
188
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,914
I've been thinking about this,
189
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,384
and I'm not sure
being a foot-fetish
model is for me.
190
00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:56,107
What? You can't quit.
191
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,642
You're an overnight sensation.
192
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:58,790
I am?
193
00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:04,582
You got 35,000
views in one night.
194
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,491
And none of them
got past the fourth picture.
195
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,519
What does that mean?
Oh...
196
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,688
They love you.
And look at these comments.
197
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,990
"Who is this?"
"She's beautiful."
198
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,459
A bunch of anti-Muslim stuff.
199
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:15,560
"Great feet."
200
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:16,861
You're a hit, Meg.
201
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:19,289
Wow. That's...
That's amazing.
202
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,176
It's not often that anyone says
203
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,178
anything nice
about any part of me.
204
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:26,337
But still,
I don't know. It's porn.
205
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,017
I never thought I'd do porn.
206
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,008
I understand your
apprehension, Meg.
207
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:33,011
That's why I'm
going to confuse you
by calling it erotica.
208
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,446
And besides,
think about all your fans.
209
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,526
I guess when you
put it that way,
210
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:41,185
I wouldn't want to
let down Drizzlefoot321.
211
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,800
You really think
I can do it, Evan?
212
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,356
Of course you can.
213
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,093
Sometimes people
just need a little
encouragement to succeed,
214
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,761
like Jason Biggs got
from his grandfather.
215
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,898
Jason, I want you to
promise me one thing.
216
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,467
Always be forgettable.
217
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,070
I will, Grandpa.
218
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:04,408
Hey, that's just a regular,
unattractive guy
who's not famous.
219
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,610
We did it, Grandpa.
220
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,190
What are you doing?
221
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:22,618
It's 18 and older, Brian.
If I want to get in,
I need to look the part.
222
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,041
I've also been
working on my banter.
223
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,442
Like, in case
somebody bumps into me.
224
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:27,898
"Oh, no worries, bro."
225
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,812
Stewie, there's
a lot of sex and drugs
at these things.
226
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,880
You sure you're
ready for this?
Of course I am.
227
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,144
I'm tired of living my
life in a tiny little box,
228
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,374
like some sort of
claustrophobic turtle.
229
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,109
Aah! Aah!
230
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:43,080
He scare inside,
he scare outside.
231
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,350
Uh-huh.
232
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,387
Okay, Brian,
the key to these things is
233
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,322
to find a good
position to sit on the ground.
234
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,302
Yeah, cool,
I got that blanket
from your trunk.
235
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,860
Oh, yeah, the old
scratchy trunk blanket.
236
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,506
Bring it, use it once,
then put it back
237
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,130
in the trunk for
the rest of your life.
238
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:01,932
Ah, yeah.
239
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,001
Okay, this is
already hurting my hip.
240
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:05,281
We could probably just stand.
241
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,704
No, no, we got the blanket.
242
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,384
All right, let's try
sideways on the elbow.
243
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,475
Ow, no, that hurts.
Scratchy blanket.
244
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,510
Okay, all right,
let's try sitting on my knees.
245
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:13,878
Okay, that's good.
246
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,213
Nope. Uh...
247
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,260
Lean back on the palms
until they get weird creases.
248
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,316
No.
249
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,517
All the way back? Nope.
250
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,019
Flat-back, craning to look up?
251
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,253
Terrible.
252
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,789
Balls of feet
butt-hover like a Chinese guy?
Nope.
253
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,624
All right, standing it is.
254
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,368
I got to tell you, Bri,
I am a big fan of sundresses.
255
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,581
Oh, yeah.
Every woman looks
good in a sundress.
256
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,706
Yeah, just waiting
for a big gust of wind,
right? Huh?
257
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:42,807
Good gust of wind?
258
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,609
See a couple fannies? Huh?
259
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,811
Give a little
bare-hand slap,
a little cup?
260
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,257
Yep, that's what we're here for.
261
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,692
Okay, Stewie.
Yeah.
262
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,394
Just give it
a little test tap,
see where she's at.
263
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,098
Then you're pushing
all up on that fanny.
264
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,353
Whoa, Stewie.
Yeah. Yeah, "whoa."
265
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,755
Who's this Stewie, huh?
266
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,267
Yeah. I'll tell you
who this Stewie is.
267
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,292
This is day-drinking Stewie.
On the patrol for fannies.
268
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,628
Fanny! Yeah! Fanny!
269
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:04,729
What are you looking at?
270
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,268
All right, finished a chapter.
271
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,706
Time to reward myself
with a slow, relaxing yank.
272
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,275
Let's see.
What will it be today?
273
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,176
Time to spin the Wheel of Porn.
274
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,383
All right, foot fetish it is.
275
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,455
Wait a minute.
276
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,332
Oh, my God.
277
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,972
Mom. Dad. Meg is
doing foot porn.
278
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,740
What? Oh, my God.
279
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:52,343
Peter, our little girl
is doing pornography.
280
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,489
We got to stop her.
281
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,778
What the hell?
282
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,927
There's an animated version
of you and me doing it.
283
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,283
Who put that on there?
284
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:00,830
Brian.
Stewie.
285
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:01,974
Hey, how's it going, man?
286
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,454
Uh, I don't know.
287
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,658
Four different
bands said we've been
a great crowd, so you tell me.
288
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,237
Yeah, I've had
a pretty good day, too.
289
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,839
People keep
passing out and barfing,
290
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,340
and that barf is,
like, free to take.
291
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,597
Awesome.
292
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,543
Plus, I met
the most amazing girl.
293
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,044
Well, I'll tell you this,
she's got to be
294
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,446
the second most
amazing girl here,
295
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,337
because I've met
the most amazing girl.
296
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,906
Oh, here she comes now.
297
00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:23,942
Hey, Stewie. Hey, Brian.
298
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,376
Oh, crap.
299
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,546
Wait, how can
a music festival chick
like two guys?
300
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,997
As soon as Meg
walks through that door,
301
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,832
I am giving her
a piece of my mind.
302
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,389
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
303
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,658
Wait, you've been
upstairs the whole time?
304
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,572
I figured all that
clomping around up there
305
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,507
was Junior Gorg
from Fraggle Rock.
306
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,275
Is that what you really thought?
307
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,065
I did. I really did.
308
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,213
Meg, we know you've
been doing foot porn,
309
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,370
and that is going
to stop right now.
310
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,739
Please. Don't try to
act like you guys care.
311
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,007
Oh, thank God.
312
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,643
Peter!
313
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,077
Meg, we do care.
314
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,890
And we're just
trying to protect you.
315
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:02,981
Are you kidding?
316
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,049
All you've done is
make fun of anybody
317
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,018
possibly thinking
I could be a model.
318
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,853
Well, guess what,
there are people
319
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,888
out there who
think I'm beautiful.
320
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,990
That's my ride.
321
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:16,427
I'm going to a big party
they're throwing in my honor.
322
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:20,096
Meg, don't you dare
walk out that door,
or you're grounded.
323
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,373
Oh, my God!
324
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,909
I can't believe our
daughter's a porn star!
325
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,678
Well, porn actress.
326
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,586
Let's not go crazy
on the Christmas letter,
okay, Lois?
327
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,767
Peter, we got to do something.
328
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,669
Our daughter just left
for some sleazy
foot porn party.
329
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,195
I feel like we're
getting invited to
less stuff nowadays.
330
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,431
We got to find out
where that party is
and get Meg out of there.
331
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,666
You're right.
332
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:55,833
God, what happened?
333
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:58,369
It seems like just
yesterday she was born.
334
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,471
Mr. Griffin, would you
like to cut the cord?
335
00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:02,706
Sure.
336
00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:05,876
Okay, that wasn't the cord,
and now you've got a girl.
337
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:09,880
♪ Oh, Josephine ♪
338
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,186
Okay, Brian,
so we like the same girl.
339
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,166
There's no reason
we can't be
gentlemen about this.
340
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,658
Absolutely. Our friendship
is more important
than any one girl.
341
00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:22,104
Hey, guys.
I got us all some food.
342
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,428
Oh, great.
343
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,174
Just mash Brian's
pill in there and
344
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,842
smear it on the grass,
he's good to go.
345
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:30,068
Oh, no, he's kidding.
I'm perfectly capable
of taking a pill.
346
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,896
Yep, down the hatch.
Now, Stewie,
347
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,154
would you like your
food served to you
as an airplane or a magic bus?
348
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:53,290
You two are so cool and funny.
349
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:54,970
Brian especially.
350
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,506
Did you happen
to read his tweet
about jumbo shrimp?
351
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,241
Just a little heads-up.
352
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,077
Stewie still screams,
"What's happening?"
when he gets an erection.
353
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:04,301
Oh, this is nice,
spending this time together.
354
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:07,115
Brian, why don't you
show Cassandra your
Boost Mobile phone?
355
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,205
Stewie has AIDS.
356
00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,575
Guys, guys,
there's no reason to fight.
357
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,220
I don't have AIDS, by the way.
358
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,679
In fact, I was thinking
maybe we could all
have a three-way.
359
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,247
A...
360
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:18,415
A three-way?
361
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,930
I'm in.
Yeah, totally.
362
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,187
Really? Cool. Let's go.
363
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,202
I'm serious, man.
I'm doing this.
364
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,426
I am, too. Bring it on.
365
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,339
Don't doubt me, Brian.
I never back down.
366
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:33,130
Like Boppo,
the inflatable punching clown.
367
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:34,932
Ah, you're in
big trouble, Boppo.
368
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,934
We told you to take a dive
in the third round,
369
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,569
and you just kept
popping back up.
370
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:39,737
Let him have it, boys.
371
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,078
He's pretty tough, boss.
372
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:48,212
I'll handle this.
373
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,682
Whoa! Boppo.
Take it easy there, pal.
374
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,462
We was just playin' with ya.
375
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,019
Yeah, we didn't mean no harm.
376
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,438
Boppo, we've got the place
completely surrounded.
377
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,462
We all know how
it's going to end.
378
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,291
Come out with
your hands up, lad.
379
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:16,174
♪ Bat us around
380
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:19,577
♪ But we land on our feet... ♪
381
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,289
All right, let's lay
some ground rules here.
382
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,258
You take her left side,
I'll take her right.
383
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:24,648
What?
384
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,757
Wait,
how about top and bottom,
or front and back?
385
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,230
How about I take head,
shoulders,
386
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,165
knees and toes, knees and toes?
387
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,522
Okay, you can have those.
388
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,258
You just gave away
the store, mister.
389
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:35,726
You guys ready?
390
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,729
'Cause I am.
391
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,800
Ah! What's happening?
392
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,772
Is this foreplay?
393
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:50,808
She's dead.
394
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,621
I think she had a drug overdose.
395
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:55,046
Well, just 'cause she's out
doesn't mean the party's over.
396
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,981
Yes, it does.
We gotta get out of here.
397
00:16:57,050 --> 00:17:01,152
What? We can't just leave her.
She had nobody.
No family, no friends.
398
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,653
Really?
How do you know all that?
399
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:03,955
"All that"?
400
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,467
You said you were
in love with her.
401
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:06,936
Did you not talk to her at all?
402
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,392
No, I talked to her.
403
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,194
I know she liked
404
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,964
tents and cocaine.
405
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,967
Oh, oh, and how she loved
bleeding from her nose.
406
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,401
You're a monster.
407
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,871
You're even worse
than Dr. Finkelstein.
408
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,073
Igor, did you get the body?
409
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,507
Yes, master.
410
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,909
You know what to do.
411
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,414
It's a five!
412
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:31,515
A five!
413
00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:40,369
Oh, hey, guys.
What's going on?
414
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,353
Quagmire, we need
your help finding Meg.
415
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,896
I would love if you guys
would just call first.
416
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,531
She's run off
to some foot-fetish
porn party.
417
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,160
We figured you
might know where it is.
418
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,935
You know, 'cause of
your boners and stuff.
419
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:54,705
Foot-fetish party, huh?
Well, come on in.
420
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:58,042
Let me just fire up
the Internet here.
Gonna go to Ask Beeves.
421
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,024
Sorry, Joe's Wi-Fi
is really slow today.
422
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,815
Ugh, I know, it's the worst.
423
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,416
We also use his cable TV.
424
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:07,284
I like Joe.
425
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:08,552
Here we go.
426
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,255
Oh, it's a busy night.
There's a black-tie event.
427
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,083
That's all black
and Thai chicks.
428
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,592
Okay, this must be Meg's thing.
429
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,695
It says there's
a shoe-kake party tonight.
430
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,663
"Shoe-kake"?
What's that?
431
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,232
It's 50 guys, one foot.
432
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,499
Oh, my.
433
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,585
All right, come on, Stewie.
Let's get this over with.
434
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,908
Well, slow down, Brian.
435
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,843
Everyone deserves
a proper burial.
436
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,646
Why do you think
we've been saving
that VCR box in the basement?
437
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,081
Oh, fine.
438
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,450
Um, Cassandra,
I'm sorry your
life was so screwed up
439
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:43,098
that you almost
had a three-way
with a dog and a baby,
440
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,722
but your life was
not without meaning.
441
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,925
I left
the comfort of the classroom
442
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,327
to experience
a world beyond books,
443
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,429
and thanks to you, I did.
444
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:55,266
Also, I loaned you $40
for that Lumineers T-shirt,
445
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,854
and you said
you'd pay me back,
so I'm gonna take your bra.
446
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,020
Wow. Lot of people
OD at these things.
447
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,276
Yeah.
448
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,445
Let's go trade this bra
for a couple of Gatorades.
449
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,595
All right,
you guys, before we begin,
450
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,465
let's sing
the Japanese national anthem.
451
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,311
Everybody stop
what you're doing!
452
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,168
Yeah, or else we'll...
453
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:32,870
That one's wearing goggles.
454
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,640
Mom? Dad?
What are you doing here?
455
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,307
I'll tell you what
we're doing here.
456
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,610
We're protecting
our little girl
from a lot of guys
457
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,012
who I oddly
recognize from Best Buy.
458
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,416
Listen, Meg, your mom
and I are sorry for
always putting you down.
459
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,717
That's right.
460
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,520
You shouldn't have to do porn
to feel appreciated.
461
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:50,620
Really?
462
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:51,721
Of course, Meg.
463
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,457
We love you, sweetheart.
464
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,059
And you deserve
better than this.
465
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,027
Thanks, you guys.
466
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:01,932
Can we please go home?
467
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,266
Yeah, let's get out of here.
468
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,636
Not so fast.
469
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,371
I promised these men a foot.
470
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:15,046
What did you say is going on,
on the other side
of this curtain?
471
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,325
Don't worry about it.
Just keep watching
Tower Heist.
472
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:19,450
This crew pulling off a robbery?
473
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:20,551
Good luck.
474
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,703
Well, Brian, thanks
for going on that little
adventure with me,
475
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,628
but I think I've
learned quite enough
from the real world for now.
476
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:34,109
I guess you're ready
for the purple room
after all, huh?
477
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:37,334
Yes. In fact,
today was my first day.
478
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:40,471
I saw that
teacher at the concert
with her boob out.
479
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,974
She was, um, popular.
480
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,975
Mom, Dad, thanks for keeping me
481
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:46,910
from doing something
I'd always regret.
482
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,512
Of course, sweetie.
483
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,214
We love you, and we would never
484
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,848
let anything bad happen to you.
485
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:57,454
Peter, we got a problem.
486
00:20:57,523 --> 00:21:00,224
Somehow my foot got pregnant
watching Tower Heist.
36453
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof