All language subtitles for Expats.S01E06.1080p.WEB.h264-ETHEL

I couldn't
stop thinking about you.

About how you were doing,
what you were doing.

And to be honest, I... I don't know
if I wanted you to be doing well.

But I'm glad you responded to my message.

I didn't know
if you were still in Hong Kong, or...

Clarke and I are moving back
to the States.

We have to... for our other kids.

They need to be able to live.

I guess...

we all need to keep living.

Even you.

What?

You sing it.

- I don't know it.
- You should.

You know, I've never felt more Korean
than I do in Hong Kong.

You know, all your friends, that's the
first thing they tell each other about me.

"This is Charly's girlfriend."

"She's Korean."

They think it's cool.

You know being Korean

and being Korean-American
are totally different things, right?

But at least you know something
about Korea, right?

Have you ever heard of those protesters?

Lee Han-yeol and Park Jong-chul.

They are so inspiring.

I don't know.

Mm, Queens is pretty far
from South Korea.

They just want to get to know you.

In the States, that would be known
as a microaggression.

You Americans are too sensitive.

Mm. I'm too sensitive?

- Thank you.
- I got to go.

I have to go talk to my boss.

Do you really have to go?

I haven't had a shift in so long,
which is weird, and also making me poor.

...until our
demands are addressed.

Do you anticipate a resolution
to the Occupy movement anytime soon?

That's really not up to me to say.

Can you tell us about your recent arrest?

Look, there's always personal sacrifice,
but somebody has to take a stand.

Our generation was...

♪ I could lift you up ♪

♪ I could show you what you want to see
and take you where you want to be ♪

♪ You could be my luck ♪

♪ Even if the sky is falling down ♪

♪ I know that we'll be safe and sound ♪

♪ We're safe and sound ♪

♪ I could fill your cup ♪

♪ You know my river won't evaporate,
this world we still appreciate ♪

♪ You could be my luck ♪

♪ Even in a hurricane of frowns
I know that we'll be safe and sound ♪

♪ Safe and sound ♪

♪ We're safe and sound ♪

♪ Safe and sound ♪

♪ We're safe and sound ♪

♪ Hold your ground ♪

♪ We're safe and sound ♪

♪ Safe and sound ♪

♪ Safe and sound...

Come.

Um, I got your text. Is everything okay?

I don't have time to baby you, so I'm just
going to get straight to the point.

We have a complaint about you.

Oh. Oh, the guy at the Tregunter party?

He totally felt me up
when I was trying to serve him an endive,

so I should sue him.

And chili oil comes out. Fact.

A client called and said she had money
go missing from the purse of a guest.

Her description of you was clear.

Clearly what? What did she say?

She knew your name.

What? How?

You're lucky she's not pressing charges.

But I'm innocent.

This is so unfair.
What am I supposed to do for money?

I can barely afford rent as it is.

My mother is coming to see me
in a few weeks, and I'm dreading it.

I just want to have something good
to tell her when I see her.

And I never do.

Sometimes I search the news
for horrible stories.

About, like, serial killers,

or children falling out of windows after
being left alone by their teenage mom,

or that woman
who had a chimpanzee as a pet

and had sedated it
before her friend came over,

but then the chimp reacted badly to the
drug, and it tore her friend's face off.

I guess it just makes me feel better

to read about all the chaos...

...about all the terrible things
happening around us

so I can pretend
that my life isn't that bad,

like what I've done isn't that bad.

Maybe it's just
so I feel a little less alone.

Well, I'm glad
everything is okay with your boss.

Sure you don't want one?

Okay. I'm gonna eat 'em all.

You have a big appetite these days.

Hey!

Looks good lah. I like it.

You were too skinny before.

It means you are happy.

Hey. Hey, Mercy?

Mercy?

David? What are...
what are you doing here?

I've been trying to get ahold of you...

Can-can we talk?

What's going on?

Uh, he's telling him he has to go.

I don't think he likes you.

S... Sorry. I'm-I'm David, by the way.

Uh, Charly.

I've-I've been calling.

Sorry. Sorry. Do you mind going up first?

- Yeah, sure.
- I'll-I'll be up in just a minute.

- All right.
- Thanks.

I know

we both needed some time
to figure things out.

I sort of need to know
where your head's at.

You really didn't seem
to care that much before.

I mean, it kind of seemed like
you didn't want anything to do with this,

- me.
- Yeah, I know.

I was a dick... before. I'm sorry. I...

I'm just starting to realize
what a gift this is.

A gift?

Yeah, the baby.

Or did you already...?

Oh, God. You did, didn't you?

- Did what?
- Well...

No, I didn't.

So you decided to keep it?

- I don't know.
- Mercy, it's a little late. What are you?

Four, five months pregnant?

Look, I-I got the name and number
of the OB that everyone uses.

He's at the Matilda.

It's the "Ritz on the Peak," they call it.

He's supposed to be the best.

I'll pay for it, of course.

- It's okay.
- You can't afford it on your own.

- I'll figure it out.
- Stop it, Mercy. You need me.

- Well, I don't want to need you.
- I'm the father. I have a right to be

- a part of any decisions that are being made.
- You have a right?

You sure about that?

You know what?
Do whatever the fuck you want.

Finally agree!

You know, I... I'm trying
to do the right thing here.

Okay, I even wrote you a check

so you don't have to feel weird
about the money and stuff.

Thanks, but if I'm gonna do this,
I'm doing it on my own.

Fine. I'll just go fuck off then.

Fine! Whatever.

Hey.

So... that was David.

I heard.

We should get back to the protest.

Wait. Um... I want to talk
to you about something.

Is it about that boy?

Gus?

No.

Well, I mean, that's how we met.

Who?

Me and David.

Uh, he was there
the night Gus went missing.

He was very... kind.

- Yeah.
- He took me home.

If you are trying to say
that you two were together before,

it's okay.

No. No, we weren't together.

That's... that's not what it was.

He's married, and it was...

I'm pregnant with his baby.

What? Like, right now?

But I told him
I don't want him anywhere near me.

How long have you known?

I don't know.

Couple months.

Couple months?

Now you see what I'm saying.

It's so fucked.

No matter how far I run,
I can't outrun the curse,

and it's always there,
and things always get messed up

before I even have a chance to...

A chance?

A chance to be happy.

To live my life, to be free of this thing.

How can you say
you haven't been given a chance... to me?

I didn't mean it like that.

You blame everything on some curse
like you don't have a choice

in your own life, in your own happiness.

Unlike so many people in the world,
you have nothing but choices.

No, please don't go.

You are so lucky,
and you don't even see it.

You have an American degree,
you have an American passport.

You have freedom.

And now you are pregnant
with some rich gweilo's baby.

Whose fault is it this time?

His wife? Is she part of your curse?

Am I?

Or is it that you can't think
of anyone else but yourself?

Charly.

- Charly, I want to go with you.
- Why?

So you can brag to everyone
back home that you protested?

It isn't your fight, and it never was.

You're a tourist.

It doesn't affect your future.

Not really. You can just leave.

Another blessing I'm sure you can't see.

The truth is,
I never really thought of you.

I could put you out of my mind
because I knew nothing about you,

and it was easier that way...

...until a friend pointed out
how shitty that was,

and I realized that she was right.

I can't imagine what you must think of me.

How much you must hate me.

And you should.

I'd be angry, too.

Look who's home.

You look tired.

You're not using the face cream I got you?

It keeps away the wrinkles.

So this is the new kitchen?

Oh, it's hardly new.

You haven't been home in five years.

Is that your Tesla out there?
Whose idea was that?

Uh, your dad brought it home as a gift.

I'm sure you deserved it.

Oh... damn it. I forgot the dhaniya.

- Want me to go?
- No.

Consuelo can go.
Consuelo?

Can you go to the store
and get me some fresh coriander?

Want me to chop some garlic?

Now, don't forget,
we're having a paath tomorrow

for your father's recovery.

I wanted to fit it in
before Papa has his surgery.

Mom, I didn't bring
any of my Indian clothes.

Oh, well, I've got Consuelo
to put your old things in the attic.

There'll be something in there.

Now we need to get going.

He's very frail, you know?

There's a time

and place for everything, Harpreet.

Your dad doesn't need to know
about your divorce.

- Mom.
- Well, he's sick.

Getting too agitated could kill him.

- Just be nice.
- Be nice?

I can't lie. He's gonna ask about David.

Look who's here. He's sleeping.

You need to let him rest.

It's not good for him to have
so much commotion in the room.

We're leaving.

Kids, let's go.

We'll see your father when he wakes up.

- Did you know that they would be here?
- Of course.

Have you met them before?

Oh, we have brunch together.
What do you think?

Your father flew them in from Delhi.

I honestly don't know what he sees
in that shameless gold digger.

She looks like one of those beggars you'd
find in some bus station in Bathinda.

What do you expect when you've
just come from selling mangoes

- in the market?
- Mom.

Please.

I forgot how good your dal is.

When are you going
to learn to make it?

Mm. I'm sorry you didn't get
a chance to talk to him today.

Your father's changed a lot,
you know, since he got sick.

Do people change? I don't know.

Mm, he became reflective.

Well, he certainly had a lot
to be reflective about.

You could've left, you know.

You had a job.
You could have supported yourself.

What kind of life is that?

- A life without all that toxicity.
- Oh.

Sorry, I don't speak Oprah.

♪ In my own hometown ♪

♪ In my own
hometown ♪

♪ I met a man ♪♪

♪ Don't go wasting your emotion ♪

- ♪ Lay all your love ♪
- Hi.

♪ On me...

Hi.

I'm Sukhi.

This is Fauja.

I know who you are.

Mum didn't want to come.
We thought it was a good idea.

We always wanted to meet you.

Papaji speaks so highly of you.

Me? He talked about me to you?

He always talks about
how successful you are.

Obviously, he didn't mention
either of you to me.

I wouldn't think so.

I'm sure he was thrilled to finally have
the son he always wished I was.

He is a good man.

I think you were raised
by a very different man.

I know things were tough
for Papaji in America.

He said that he was very scared there.
He felt not in control.

And what control did we have?

I'm sorry?

- Forget it.
- He loves you very much.

You must understand.

♪ Don't go wasting your emotion ♪

♪ Lay all your love ♪♪

Look who has come!

Prodigal daughter returns.

She came to see you yesterday,
but you were asleep.

- You're here, beta.
- Hi, Dad.

I'll go get us some coffee.
You two can catch up.

You okay? You nervous?

Much better
now that you're here.

It's been too long.

I'm sorry I didn't come back.

I understand.

How is, uh, David?

He's, uh...

sorry that he couldn't be here.

I see.

Have you met Fauja and Sukhi?

- I have.
- They are good children.

I hope you will soften towards them
when I am gone.

You'll see the benefits
of having a family.

Is that how you see us all? As a family?

Of course. My family.

Children are God's gift to men.

It's not too late for, uh,

- you and David to...
- I'm pregnant, actually.

Oh, my God.

I was saving the news for you,
and there it is.

Do you know yet if it's a boy?

Yes.

- It's a boy.
- Oh, beta.

That's wonderful.

Thank you for the nourishing
and hopeful news.

They're ready for you, Mr. Singh.

If you're ready, that is.

A boy.

What a blessing.

Thank you for the wonderful news, beta.

It gives me strength.

Hey, Dad.

I want you to know that...

my baby is gonna grow up knowing
what kind of a man his grandfather was.

That's my greatest wish, beta.

I'm gonna tell him everything about you.

Like how you fractured
Mom's jaw on Mother's Day.

And how you threw her down the stairs,

and how none of her rings fit because
you broke every single one of her fingers.

And how while you were being
a loving dad to that other family,

I was at home icing her bruised face.

No matter what that other family says,

I'll never forget,
and I will never forgive you.

You can go now.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Oh, come here. Hey.

I'm so sorry about your dad.

- Here.
- Thank you.

- How's your mom doing?
- Oh, you know, she's...

Brinder?

Yeah. Come on.

I'm glad you called me.

I was worried about you for a while.
Come on.

Hil?

I killed my father.

Oh, God, I'll never forgive myself.

- No, no, I killed him.
- No.

David, I killed him.

- I killed my father!
- Why-why-why don't we go to the car?

We'll talk about it in there, okay?

Okay?

It's all right.

It was like I was just...

watching myself,
like some sort of tortured spirit,

as I was just saying things
I had no control over.

No, you know what? No, I did have control.

Actually, if I'm being honest...

it was like I just couldn't
stop myself from saying it,

- like I didn't want him to die without hearing it.
- Mm-hmm.

Like I just, I just
couldn't stand the thought of it.

Oh, fuck.

- Did you tell him we were separated?
- No, I didn't have the time.

I was too busy killing him with my words.

Come on.

I'm so tired of being a... angry.

Yeah.

How is she? Your...

Mercy.

Can I ask you something?

When you said you didn't want kids,

did you just mean
you didn't want them with me?

No, of course not.

Is that what you thought?

Yeah, Mercy doesn't want my help.

She doesn't want anything to do with me.

Well...

She might come around. You don't know.

All you can do is be a good guy.

That's what she said, too,
that I should be a good guy.

- Because it's true.
- It's like...

I was just trying to figure out
who I could be after you, and then...

all of this shit happens.

And I didn't have any time to think.

You're not asking me
to feel sorry for you, are you?

No.

No, of course not.

No.

Fuck.

Okay, this might be a bit weird, but...

last time I saw Mercy,
she actually asked me for your number.

Would that be...?

Sure.

Yeah?

Hmm.

I don't know what's next.

I'd always thought of David as my home.

That's what we said.

"Wherever we go,
as long as we're together...

- See you around the neighborhood?
- Yeah.

- ...we're home."
- Thanks, Sam.

L.A. is certainly not
home anymore.

Going back made that apparent.

But who am I to tell you about loss?

At least I know I'll heal.

I'm scared, of course, but...

There's this saying about how
you can't discover new lands

without the courage
to lose sight of the shore.

Can't wait to get some color in here.

Color would be nice in here.

I think about this saying a lot.

Moving forward.

Onwards.

Yeah.

Not looking back.

...met no resistance
to the clearing of the occupied area...

- No-no scooting in the...
- Sorry, Mom.

...what the next step
would be for the Occupy movement.

The situation
is returning to normal

in Hong Kong's financial district

after the removal and arrest
of hundreds of pro-democracy protesters.

Police officers armed
with chain saws and excavators

destroyed the camp
outside government headquarters,

the epicenter of the campaign.

Most protesters vacated the area
peacefully and quietly,

with no resistance.

However, as Gabriel Ulls reports,

some defiant protesters remain.

Until Thursday,
the area outside of Hong Kong...

Hey, honey, um...

- I'm gonna go run some errands.
- Okay.

Had a reservation under Margaret Woo.

Thanks so much.

- Thank you.
- Enjoy.

Do you know
what the opposite of talking is?

It's not listening, it's waiting.

So, are you just waiting?
Are you not listening to me?

It's just that this is
a really weird conversation,

and-and there are all these
awkward pauses.

You're pregnant.

- I didn't know how to tell you.
- I knew.

Really?

- How?
- People talk.

Hong Kong's small.

How are Daisy and Philip?

They don't know about this,
that I contacted you.

- Why did you contact me?
- I don't know.

To apologize, maybe.

I also owe you an apology.

Why?

I called your work. I got you fired.

That was you.

You lied about me stealing.

It feels petty now, but at the time

it was all I could think of.

I was hurt and angry.

You had every right
to be upset.

I'm sorry that my accusations
affected your marriage.

It wasn't personal against David.

I was desperate for answers
and I was willing to find them anywhere.

Sorry.

All I can think about is meat and milk.

Meat and milk.

You're hungry.

Last night, when I was lying in bed,

when I closed my eyes,
on the back of my eyelids,

there was a chicken carcass.

I wanted to eat the flesh of something
so badly, I could smell it.

You're growing flesh.

Makes sense that you'd dream of it.

Ms. Kim? Please come with me.

Yeah.

Mercy Kim.

Twenty-five.

Can you tell me the date
of your last period?

- It's blank on the form.
- Um...

It's not something
I usually keep track of.

I'm more like moon to moon.

I see.

Well, I guess the baby
will have to tell us.

Please lie back.

We're going to open your robe.

Maybe you should
buy me dinner first.

Okay.

Great.

Relax.

Have you been taking
good care of yourself?

Folic acid?

Prenatals?

Does the OJ in a screwdriver count?

No.

We take some measurement to see
how many weeks you're at.

Ah.

Oh, you're quite far along.

Have you not seen a doctor?

It's been on my to-do list.

Well, you must start taking supplements.

Here's your baby.

That's my baby?

I'd say you're about 23 weeks along.

I can't feel it, but it's totally moving.
That's so weird.

Everything looks normal.
Luckily, you're young.

Too many women
are getting pregnant too old.

Do you want to know the sex?

Um...

For a long time,
I wanted to erase you.

I just wanted you not to exist.

But here you are, adding to the world.

That's ironic, right?

Have you ever thought
about having my baby?

Because I think about it all the time.

Don't say that.

Don't even think it.

I feel like I owe you so much.

That I've taken so much from you...

and I can't ever make it right.

I want to give you something.

Don't you want your baby?

I do.

But I don't want to mess it up for her.

And I will.

It's a girl?

I'm terrified for her already.

Mercy-a.

Hey, Mom.

What is this?

I know, I know
I've put on a few pounds.

- Mi-young you're...?
- Fat. I know.

Stop playing! You're not fat...

- You're pregnant!
- Oh, my God, is that what it is?

Here, I thought it's all the dim sum
I've been eating.

You wench!

How?

When?

Who is the father?

- Why didn't you tell me before!
- Ow.

I wanted to tell you in person.

Come on, people are staring. Let's go.

When the baby comes...

I'll make you miyeok-guk
for breast feeding.

I'll need to get some oxtail too.

You need collagen.

Mom, it's too much.
Don't buy any more food.

I can't fit anything else in this place.

It's just for now.

Let's sort through your things.

We'll see what to take with you.

I'll help you.

Take with me?

Yes, back to New York.

I'll book your ticket.

We can travel back together.

I'm not leaving, Mom.

You're not?

Of course you are.

There's no room for me to stay here.

Who asked you to stay?

Then who's going to take care of you?

You still haven't mentioned a father.

So I assume...

We can't expect anything from him?

That's what I thought.

Daisy?

- Come on, let's go,
- Come on, Chauncey. Come on.

Daisy? Philip, where's your hoodie?

- In my backpack.
- Where's your backpack?

- I have it, ma'am.
- Oh.

Come on! You're gonna miss the flight.

- Mom, my headphones are broken.
- Okay, we got to go.

Hey, come on. We got to go.
We're gonna be late.

I can't go any faster.

- My wheels are slow.
- Chauncey hasn't had anything

- to eat or drink, right?
- No, not at all.

Good.

- Do you have a little toy for him?
- Yeah.

Who do we think we are,

any of us...

...to think we're immune to tragedy?

I can't imagine a day
where it's not with me.

- Where I'm not reminded of what I...
- Stop.

You don't have to keep
punishing yourself, you know.

You're not betraying anyone
by trying to live a better life.

The first days after Gus
went missing, I was wild with pain.

Pain you can't even imagine.

I wanted to die.

But I couldn't,

because I had to stay alive to find Gus.

I know it's hard to imagine
feeling anything but pain ever again.

But you can.

- You will survive.
- I have to,

for Daisy and Philip.

And when the dark thoughts hit you...

You decide whether
you let them take you under.

Or whether you're gonna get up.

- Brush your teeth.
- Open the curtains.

Go for a walk.

You look to the children you still have.

And you hum...

...so the silence doesn't overwhelm you.

Could've just used
some breastfeeding tips.

- Essie, where's my gum?
- In your backpack.

- No, I already checked. It's not there.
- Essie, we need our gum...

- It's in your backpack.
- No, it isn't.

- Yes, I just packed it.
- ...or else we're gonna have our ears pop.

What time is it?

- Uh, quarter past. We're okay.
- It's in Philip's bag.

How much longer? This airport's huge.

Stop being so lazy, Daisy.

Lazy Daisy.

Oh, my God.

- Philip. Philip.
- Lazy Daisy. Lazy Daisy.

- Dad, do you hear this?
- Hey, hey.

- Philip, hey. Come on.
- You're the one who said your legs hurt.

That's because I scraped them
in soccer, not because I'm lazy.

That's because
you just suck at soccer, Philip.

Guys, guys, guys.

So, when do you leave?

Too soon.

Whoa, look how big that plane is.

- Yeah.
- Dad, is that one ours?

Uh, yeah.

It'll be good for you
all to be home.

I have no home without Gus.

I'm not gonna sit in the
middle seat. Come on.

Why?

You guys, you can trade seats.

Margaret, what's wrong?

I can't.

Mom?

- Hey.
- Mom?

- Okay.
- I can't leave him here.

I know. I know.

- I get it.
- What?

- I can't.
- Wait.

It's okay.

- All right? It's okay.
- Mom. What are you...

- I love you.
- N-No, you can't do this.

Mom, come on. What are you doing?

- Let's go.
- Mom is gonna meet us at home, okay?

We'll see her later. We'll see her later.

Daisy, I can't leave him here.

- I can't.
- You're the worst mother

in the whole world,
and I hate you so much.

- Dais...
- Daisy.

I love you, Mom.

- Final boarding call...
- Philip,

- we got to go.
- Dad!

- Come on. Don't worry.
- Come on.

We'll see her later, bud. All right?

Essie.

I understand.

You take care.

Hello?

- Hi!
- Hello. Oh, it's exactly what I wanted.

It's perfect. Thank you so much.

- It's quite heavy. You good?
- Uh, you know what?

- I can get it. Yep.
- Okay.

- I got it. Thank you. Bye, guys.
- Okay, bye.

Thank you.

Lady with a rug.

Pardon me.

Thank you, thank you.

Uh... Yeah. Sorry about that.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Thank you. Pardon me.

Excuse me.

Have some gomtang.

Don't be upset.

Come here.

Stop, Mom. I'm fine.

Come here!

My baby...

is going to have a baby?

Oh...

Umma.

Everything is going to be okay.

Umma's here now.

Stop crying.

You need to eat well now for your baby.

Have some soup.

I'll bring you some rice.

Not a moment goes by where
I'm not thinking about what I've done.

Not a moment goes by
where I'm not thinking about you.

I had hoped for a specific event.

An unimaginable act of kindness.

A forgiveness that would reset everything.

That would give me permission
to start living again.

But there is no miracle
that can reset everything.

You must hold the pain and keep on living.

The pain becomes a part of you.

And soon you can't recognize
yourself without it.

More than anything,

I wish that, at some point in the future,
you might be happy.

That you might find yourself
forgetting the pain once in a while.

I...

I hope to be happy, too.

For my daughter.

For myself.

Only we can make the choice
to start living again.

To put one foot in front of the other.

Take one breath after another.

We hum.