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1
00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,046
BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA#212
"We Don't Rat on Family"
Closed Captioned
2
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:04,874
Previously onBob Hearts Abishola...
3
00:00:04,917 --> 00:00:08,051
When you see Bob,
tell him I'm happy for him.
4
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,531
I will.
5
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,055
He doesn't talkto me anymore.
6
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:16,320
Well, that might be because
you hurt him very badly.
7
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:17,756
Yeah.
8
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,497
-When you cheated on him.
-Mm-hmm.
9
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,108
With his childhood friend.
10
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:23,588
Hang on. There are two sides
to that story.
11
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,155
Oh. What is your side?
12
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:28,724
Well, I don't come off real good
in that one, either.
13
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,684
Bob has to present himself
to Abishola's family.
14
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:33,903
If they don't like him,
15
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,731
they can forbid
the marriage.
16
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:38,342
So, you telling me if Bob
17
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:40,170
rubs some second cousin
the wrong way,
18
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,519
-you can't marry him?
No.
19
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:42,955
-But she
20
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,392
can never return to Nigeria.
21
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,176
-Or Texas.
-Huh?
22
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,569
I have family there.
23
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,788
Poor sock man.
24
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,877
He tries to give you
a diamond ring,
25
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:54,402
and suddenly, he's proposing
to a whole village.
26
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:55,925
It's not the whole village.
27
00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:58,449
At most, it will
be 200 people.
28
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,585
Excuse me, ma'am.
29
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:06,066
That is a beautiful ring.
30
00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:09,112
-Ah, thank you.
-It was a gift.
31
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:12,289
Someone must love you very much
to give you a ring like that.
32
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:15,423
Eh, I suppose so.
33
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:18,339
And do you have the same
feelings towards him
34
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,905
that he has towards you?
35
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:22,865
Eh, I suppose so.
36
00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:25,085
You love screwing
-with me, don't you?
-I do.
37
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,219
Need to get that?
38
00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:30,655
Uh...
39
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:32,179
Oh, it's my mother.
40
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:33,484
I'll call her back later.
41
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,356
I could say hi.
42
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:38,141
That is whyI will call her back later.
43
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,883
We're getting married. I
have to meet her eventually.
44
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,841
-Why are you rushing?
-Enjoy this time
45
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,930
while you do not know her.
46
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,367
Are you worried about
what she'll think of me?
47
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,890
Because I'll have you know,
48
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:50,458
I'm very charming.
49
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,764
I did not like youwhen I first met you.
50
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,115
But I wore you down.
That's my specialty.
51
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,594
You are ridiculous.
52
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,336
Ridiculously charming.
53
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,773
Come on, call her
back. Let me say hi.
54
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,603
All right.
55
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,431
But there will be otherfamily members in attendance
56
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,216
who will want to speakto you, as well.
57
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:10,782
That's fine. How
many we talking?
58
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:13,524
Uncles, aunties,cousins, grandparents.
59
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:14,786
11 or 12.
60
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:16,571
Put the phone down.
61
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:17,746
-What?
-Put it down.
62
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,008
I'm not ready.
63
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,054
You set me up.
64
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:23,839
Eh, I suppose so.
65
00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:54,304
Hey, guys, am I
pronouncing this right?
66
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,827
E nle ma?
67
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:57,786
Are you trying
to respectfully greet
68
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,048
a female elder in my language?
69
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,268
-Yes.
-Then no.
70
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,486
Was I close?
71
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,358
No.
72
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:06,403
All right, forget
that. Traditionally,
73
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:08,579
I'm supposed to lie on the
ground when I meet her family?
74
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,190
-What if we meet in a bathroom?
-Oh,
75
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,322
Mr. Wheeler,
if you meet them in a bathroom,
76
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:15,151
you have already done
something terribly wrong.
77
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,980
It is also acceptable to bow,bending at the waist,
78
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,764
dropping your handsto your feet.
79
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,550
Yeah. Maybe if I did
a little stretching first,
80
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:23,594
I could pull that off.
81
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,509
Mr. Wheeler,
82
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,337
why are you
putting yourself through this?
83
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,947
Because it's tradition.
84
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,862
You got engaged
while she was still married.
85
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,255
You have already stompedon tradition
86
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:34,431
like a burning bag of doo-dooleft at your doorstep
87
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,432
by local pranksters.
88
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:36,955
I keep telling you,
89
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:40,002
when you stomp on the feces,
the neighborhood kids win.
90
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,526
And,
91
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,136
Mr. Wheeler,
92
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:45,964
your ignorancehas already gotten you this far.
93
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,619
-Why stop now?
-Goodwin is right.
94
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,926
Lean intoyour American naivete.
95
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,232
When you meet her mother,
96
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,146
wear a cowboy hatand a big belt buckle.
97
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:55,887
And say...
98
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,324
"Howdy, ma'am."
99
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,894
Thanks for all your help.
100
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,027
Y'all come back,
now, you hear?
101
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,509
You are very goodwith accents.
102
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:10,380
Much obliged, pardner.
103
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:18,301
Here you go, sweetie.
104
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,129
Tomorrow's Bride.
105
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,305
Oh, thank you.
106
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:23,785
Apparently,the brides of tomorrow
107
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,656
are all whiteand one Asian lady,
108
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,527
but you get the idea.
109
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,790
Ah,
110
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,313
you are finally
planning the wedding.
111
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,794
I will send you a list of
dates I still have open,
112
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:35,057
but act quickly.
113
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,146
This dress
114
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:39,191
-would lookso beautiful on you.
-Oh.
115
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:40,889
Yes, it would.
116
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:42,717
But my mother
would hate it.
117
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:46,590
Oh, also this one.
118
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:49,289
Oh, and this one.
119
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,507
Who cares what she thinks?
120
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:51,943
It's your day.
121
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,337
A wedding
is all about the bride.
122
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,557
Maybe in America. In Nigeria,
123
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,993
it's all about the family.
124
00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,342
The bride is lucky
to be invited.
125
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,604
Mm-hmm.
126
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:01,997
The family uses the wedding
127
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,912
as a way to show
off their wealth,
128
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,784
and your friends use it
as a way to show off themselves.
129
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,047
Her first wedding was perfect.
130
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,962
Hundreds of guests,
131
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:13,617
all of them looking at me.
132
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,184
What about Abishola?
133
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,665
She saw me, too.
134
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,320
I remember being so upset
about my dress.
135
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:23,801
-Ugh. I hated it.
-So what? Everybody did.
136
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,935
But your mother loved it,
and that is what's important.
137
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,371
Well, around here,
138
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,852
you don't have to worry
about what anyone else wants.
139
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,680
They just go to weddings
to get drunk
140
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,595
and hook up
with some second cousin.
141
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:37,032
-Mm-hmm.
-We have that, too.
142
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,428
It was a third cousin,
and I was not drunk.
143
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,647
Oh.
144
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,519
That's an ugly dress.
145
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:48,130
Your mother would love it.
146
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,703
Hello, Bob.
147
00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,574
E kaale, Uncle.
148
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:58,575
Are you okay?
149
00:05:58,619 --> 00:05:59,837
Do you have a cramp?
150
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,013
No, I'm bowing in respect.
151
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,580
And cramping.
152
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:06,801
Abishola is at
work, and Olu
153
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,890
"is at Bible study."
154
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,935
I did the quotes
because she is actually getting
155
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,763
her "hair dyed."
156
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,112
That did not need the quotes.
157
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:16,027
I actually came to see you.
158
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:17,638
How wonderful.
159
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,204
Would you like some tea?
160
00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:21,772
I also have
some fun-sized candy bars
161
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,426
hidden around the apartment.
162
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:24,775
I'm okay.
163
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:25,733
Ah, suit yourself.
164
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,259
It's come to my attention
165
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,869
that I did not court Abishola
166
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:33,828
in the traditional Nigerian way.
167
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,612
You certainly did not.
168
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,092
Well,
169
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,354
for the wedding,
I want to do it right,
170
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,617
and I was hoping
you could help guide me
171
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,184
through the process.
172
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,447
It would be an honor
for me to be an emissary
173
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,667
from my family to yours.
174
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,625
That's great.
Now, I was hoping we could ...aditionally,
175
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,497
you would bow again,
but don't worry about it.
176
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,802
Oh, thanks.
177
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,763
You're really not going to bow.
178
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:59,244
Well, I guess that's why
we are doing this.
179
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,116
Uh, I did
a little research,
180
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:03,379
and I wrote
my letter of intent
181
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,469
stating my case to marry
your beautiful niece.
182
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:09,994
I see your mission
is to make me cry today.
183
00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:12,127
Give it to me.
184
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,564
I took
a few creative liberties,
185
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,740
-but I think it's okay.
-Hmm.
186
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:19,700
There is no immediate
-mention of God.
-Is that a problem?
187
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:21,658
Not if you're writing
this letter to Satan.
188
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,051
Uh, give me a pen.
189
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,227
In the next paragraph,
190
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:28,622
you are asking permission
to marry Abishola.
191
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:29,927
Was that not right?
192
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,103
It is not.
193
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:35,367
It must be from the
perspective of your family
194
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,587
asking her family
for permission.
195
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:40,677
-Got it. Great tip.
-No. No.
196
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,157
What is this?
197
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,376
Oh, I used the flower
as a metaphor.
198
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:47,554
Lovely. But no.
199
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,214
No.
200
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:01,132
What was the name
201
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,483
of your neighbor I threw a
drink on at your first wedding?
202
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,701
Abeni.
203
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:07,487
No, the other one.
She has a mustache.
204
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:10,228
-Ewatomi.
-That's right.
205
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:12,361
Make sure you put
her at my table
206
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:15,277
so I can show off my sexy
pharmacist boyfriend.
207
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,279
I will have Chukwuemeka
208
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:20,151
grow a mustache that
will put hers to shame.
209
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:22,023
I do not think
Ewatomi will be there.
210
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:23,720
No? Is she dead?
211
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:26,331
Did my curse work?
212
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,464
She will not be invited. I have
not spoken to her in years.
213
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,944
So what?
214
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,249
So, suddenly you're
only inviting
215
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:33,251
people you speak to?
216
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:35,993
-Yes.
-You don't speak to your
mother's hairdresser.
217
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,560
Are you saying
she cannot come?
218
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:38,430
Yes.
219
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,085
Oh, my God.
220
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,870
You are considering
a small wedding.
221
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,480
If I had a drink,
222
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,482
I would throw it
in your face.
223
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,919
What is the point
of putting myself on display
224
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,094
for everybody I know?
225
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:51,313
And their friends?
226
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,445
And their friends' friends?
227
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,317
To show off your
wonderful life.
228
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,579
I do not want to show off.
229
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:57,972
But I do.
230
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,669
Abishola, what has
happened to you?
231
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:00,888
This is the way
we do things.
232
00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,324
It does not have to be.
233
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:05,806
Okay, but people
would talk.
234
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:09,070
I am a divorced Nigerian woman
marrying a white man.
235
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,985
People are already talking.
236
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:13,553
And that is why you
have a big wedding--
237
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:17,382
to distract them from your
ridiculous relationship.
238
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,559
I just want the day
to be about Bob and me.
239
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,777
Is that so wrong?
240
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,562
Yes!
241
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:27,175
But you are my
best friend,
242
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:29,046
so I support
your desires.
243
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,353
Thank you, Kemi.
244
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:34,791
Your selfish,
selfish desires.
245
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,319
Bobby,
246
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,799
you're just in time
to celebrate.
247
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,148
What's the occasion?
248
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:46,411
We found a bottle of champagne.
249
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,850
Had a nice talk with
your buddy Tunde, by the way.
250
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,329
-What?
-Yeah.
251
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:52,504
He said
252
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,028
part of being an emissary
253
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,420
is making sure
the groom's family
254
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:57,161
isn't hiding a crazy cousin
in the attic.
255
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,555
What'd you tell him?
256
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,643
I said we don't
keep her in the attic.
257
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,037
That's not funny.
258
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,517
Whatever. Tunde laughed.
259
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:06,867
Tunde called me, too.
260
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,564
I told him it's none
of his business.
261
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,219
What happens in the family
stays in the family.
262
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:14,222
But nothing's happening
in the family.
263
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:17,094
That's exactly what I told him.
264
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,401
Why are you saying it like that?
265
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,098
Like what?
266
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,754
He didn't call me.
267
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:26,321
Why didn't he call me?
268
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:28,671
I don't want him
calling anybody.
269
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:29,977
He can call
whoever he wants,
270
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,109
he's not getting a thing.
271
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:35,330
We're like the Corleones--
we don't rat on family.
272
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,682
Oh, no. It's-it's Tunde.
273
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,336
What do I do?
274
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:46,733
Well, you heard the lady.
We don't rat on family.
275
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,264
Bob,
276
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:57,482
what are you doing here?
277
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:58,788
I was in the
neighborhood, and I saw
278
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,616
you posted a picture
of your moin moin.
279
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,880
Oh, the shapes they mold them in
are so whimsical.
280
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:07,144
Hey...
281
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:10,365
did you really have
to call my family?
282
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:11,714
I was just trying
to be thorough.
283
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,150
But you know me.
284
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:16,066
And the Bundys thought they
knew Ted.
285
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,677
This was supposed
to be you helping me out,
286
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,679
maybe putting in a good word
with the in-laws?
287
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,463
Well, I am helping you out.
288
00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,726
I am making sure
you succeed.
289
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:27,817
And I should not tell you this,
but you are doing well.
290
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,819
Great to hear.
291
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:32,213
So are we done
with interrogating my family?
292
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,781
Not quite.
I also called your ex-wife.
293
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:37,697
Why would you do that?
294
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,090
To better understand why
your first marriage failed.
295
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:42,440
All right, well,
what did she say?
296
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,225
Oh, I don't know.
I haven't talked to her yet.
297
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:47,271
Hey, Bobby Socks.
298
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:50,013
Oh, you are killing me, Tunde.
299
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:01,459
Relax, Bob. I'm not gonna
say anything bad.
300
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,505
He has major trust issues.
301
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:06,508
Tunde, please don't do this.
302
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:07,944
I am just trying to help you
303
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:10,599
avoid making the same mistakes
with Abishola.
304
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:11,992
I didn't make a
mistake with this one.
305
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,776
She had an affair
with my best friend.
306
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,953
That is a part of the story,
but is it the whole book?
307
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,130
The Mistress Named
308
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,785
MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery.
309
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,352
Interesting.
310
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:26,354
That is the name of his company.
311
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,487
His first and only love.
312
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:31,489
Can I get a beer?
313
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,449
Alcohol, his other mistress.
314
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,321
"Alcohol."
315
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,156
Olu, these were the colors
316
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,637
I was thinking
for the
iro and the
buba.
317
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,508
All I can see is your ceiling.
318
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,424
Is that better?
319
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,817
No.
320
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,079
Ah, I recognize
this ceiling.
321
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:57,515
Hello, Mommy.
322
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:58,603
Hello, Abishola.
323
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,127
We are discussing your wedding.
324
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,650
It's very exciting.
325
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,695
I would like to be a part
of this conversation.
326
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:04,827
Why?
327
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,829
Abishola,
328
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,048
send me your measurements.
329
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,658
Bimpe needs
to start on your dress.
330
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:10,877
Oh, that won't
be necessary.
331
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,095
I can get
a dress from here.
332
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,836
Don't be ridiculous!
333
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,664
You will not wear
a dress from Detroit.
334
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,101
Bimpe will make it.
335
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,842
And if she cannot,
336
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,670
I know several
seamstresses in Lagos.
337
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,672
But we will not be using
your seamstresses.
338
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:25,630
We will be using Bimpe.
339
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:28,590
Bimpe is half blind
and has arthritis.
340
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,113
I am in charge
of the clothes, Olu.
341
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,811
You are in charge of the food!
342
00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:35,118
At least
there will be
343
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,554
no problem
with the food this time.
344
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:37,860
What is that supposed to mean?
345
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,601
At Abishola's first wedding,
346
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,472
you ran out of hot pepper soup.
347
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:43,126
There is no greater crime!
348
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:46,695
We ran out because Tunde ate
bowl after bowl after bowl!
349
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,131
It is a wedding!
350
00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:50,046
One must be prepared
to feed an army of Tundes.
351
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,874
Aah!
352
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,878
When did you first
start feeling unhappy?
353
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,271
Oh, well,
354
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,925
I guess it was when I realized
355
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:02,711
that Bob loved making and
selling socks more than me.
356
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:05,061
That's not true.
I was just building a business.
357
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:06,802
And destroying a marriage.
358
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,064
He would...
he would come home exhausted,
359
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:09,326
have a couple of drinks
360
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:12,590
and pass out
-on the couch.
-Alcohol.
361
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,637
How could I not
feel abandoned?
362
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,596
Did you make these feelings
known to Bob?
363
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:22,992
It's hard to be heard
when you aren't even seen.
364
00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:25,255
Oh, my God.
365
00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:26,996
I see you, Lorraine.
366
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,868
Oh, my God.
367
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,043
Can you blame me
368
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,131
for having an affair?
369
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,610
Yes!
370
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:33,960
Was it an affair?
371
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,005
Or was it a cry for help?
372
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:37,485
It was an affair.
373
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,530
She slept with my best friend.
374
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,663
You drove me into Gary's bed.
375
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:43,317
Oh, really? It's my fault?
376
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,405
Well, who drove you
into the bouncy castle
377
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,276
at his kid's birthday party?
378
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:48,975
How'd you know about that?
379
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:51,412
The clown owed me a favor.
380
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:53,936
Now, this is Gary Gendelhoff?
381
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,808
-Yes.
-Do you happen
to have his phone number?
382
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,898
Oh... my... God.
383
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,209
Planning a wedding is
tougher than I thought.
384
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,298
I tried to warn you.
385
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,781
Before we go any further,
I got to tell you something.
386
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:15,827
-Mm.
-My job is very
important to me.
387
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:18,004
-I know that.
-It takes a lot of my time
388
00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:19,919
and attention, but
if it ever feels like
389
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,312
I'm putting it above you,
please let me know.
390
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,967
That will not be a problem.
391
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,361
You sure? 'Cause sometimes
I'll work a 70-hour week.
392
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:30,016
Is that a little
or a lot for you?
393
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,366
I love you so freaking much.
394
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:34,150
I know.
395
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,239
Mmm.
396
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,636
We should just
get married at city hall.
397
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,986
-There's an idea.
-Mm.
398
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,162
It is the only way
we'll have a say in our wedding.
399
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,859
I'm down with that.
400
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:49,774
We have to bring Dele,
of course.
401
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,342
-I want him there.
-Absolutely.
402
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:53,822
And your uncle
would be heartbroken,
403
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:56,390
so we should ask him
and Auntie to come, too.
404
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:59,523
Mm. If they are coming, we
should also bring your family.
405
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,396
Do we have to?
406
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,354
Yes.
407
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,443
And you should invite Kemi.
408
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:10,012
Do I have to?
409
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:13,711
There's a couple of guys at
work I'd love to have there.
410
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:17,019
I wouldn't be getting married
-if it wasn't for them.
-Mm.
411
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,673
It would be nice
to have Gloria
412
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,414
and a few of my nurse friends
there, too.
413
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:24,766
This is getting to be quite
a crowd for a courthouse.
414
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:26,376
I guess my mother
and auntie are going
415
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,030
to get their wedding
after all.
416
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:29,901
I guess so.
417
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,904
Are you disappointed?
418
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:34,689
No.
419
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,821
It doesn't matter
where it's at,
420
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,780
or who's there, or what
anybody's wearing.
421
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:40,912
All I'll be
looking at is you.
422
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:44,133
I'm going to be
in a dress made by Bimpe.
423
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:46,396
Is that a famous designer?
424
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,964
It is a blind
arthritic woman in Lagos.
425
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,533
Does she do tuxedos?
426
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:05,894
Uh, Mommy, I would like you to
meet my fiancé, Bob Wheeler.
427
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,896
E nle ma.
428
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:12,074
What took you so long
to introduce yourself to me?
429
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,249
Oh, that was my
fault, Mommy.
430
00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:14,468
I did not ask you.
431
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,557
I asked Bob Wheeler.
432
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,515
Uh, that was my fault.
433
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,126
I was just nervous
434
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:22,911
about meeting the most
respected woman in the family.
435
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,044
I admire your attempts
at flattery.
436
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:28,482
I have received your gift--
a new tablet.
437
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,397
Do you think
you can buy my approval?
438
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,702
I was hoping.
439
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,054
Hey, look, not finding me funny
runs in the family.
440
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:37,621
Tunde speaks highly of you.
441
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,449
He told me your credit score.
442
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:42,191
Very impressive.
443
00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:44,280
I'm just happy
I have a great job
444
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,673
where I can help
provide for you,
445
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:48,589
your daughter
and your grandson.
446
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,199
Abishola?
447
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,418
Yes, Mommy.
448
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,246
I like him.
449
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:55,770
I like him, too.
450
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:07,390
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
451
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:11,655
and TOYOTA.
452
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:15,703
Captioned by
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29477