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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,336 --> 00:00:02,368 Hmm... 2 00:00:02,374 --> 00:00:03,902 DJ, Cynthia, and Chris. 3 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:05,303 CHRIS: Nice. I would go 4 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,473 with Jen for her athleticism, 5 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:10,242 Cynthia because she's seen stuff, 6 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:12,511 and Keeran because of his eagerness 7 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,912 to repopulate the earth. 8 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,247 - KEERAN: Thank you, man! - WAYNE: Couldn't help notice 9 00:00:15,346 --> 00:00:17,416 you both forgot old Waynester for your zombie apocalypse teams. 10 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:20,352 - You would be the first to die. - Totally. 11 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:20,886 WAYNE: Seriously? 12 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:23,322 The swords on my bedroom wall are not just for decoration. 13 00:00:23,392 --> 00:00:24,490 Cynthia, you'd pick me, right? 14 00:00:24,534 --> 00:00:27,526 No offence, Wayne, but you are lazy and unreliable. 15 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,560 Only at work! 16 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:29,661 CYNTHIA: I would go... 17 00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:33,465 Chris, Jen, and DJ. 18 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:34,800 JEN: Huh... Cynthia, Chris, Wayne for me. 19 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:35,867 Thank you! See, 20 00:00:35,893 --> 00:00:38,404 Jen knows how to survive a zombie apocalypse. 21 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,339 I thought we were playing fuck, marry, kill. 22 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:41,874 - Aw, come on! - DJ: Listen up, team. 23 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,676 Nadia Albesu from the Korverton Crier 24 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,045 will be coming in to write a profile on us. 25 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,681 - KEERAN: What? - WAYNE: Nadia Albesu. The kingmaker 26 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,750 and grim reaper of small businesses. 27 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,419 Yeah, she once ran a scathing four-page review 28 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:57,022 on Needle Scratch Records just because no one greeted her 29 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,057 when she entered the store. 30 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,794 Two weeks later, they were closed. 31 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,962 So let's all put our best foot forward today. 32 00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,530 I was hoping to take a long lunch 33 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:06,832 so I could teach hot yoga. 34 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,634 CYNTHIA: Yeah, and I need to leave early tonight 35 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:09,968 for my daughter's play. 36 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,437 Oh, and I have a date tonight. What should I wear? 37 00:01:11,533 --> 00:01:12,571 We're going to my basement! 38 00:01:12,626 --> 00:01:15,574 DJ: Look, I know we all have commitments outside of OMT, 39 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,643 but today I need you all to step up 40 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,512 and be on your best behaviour. 41 00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,379 WAYNE: Okay, no thinking... 42 00:01:21,468 --> 00:01:23,749 who's gonna be on your zombie apocalypse team? Go. 43 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,651 Uh, Cynthia, Jen, Chris. 44 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,519 Wow, I really tried to say "Wayne" there, 45 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:28,920 but my brain wouldn't allow it. 46 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:30,856 You know what? Don't come crawlin' to old Wayneroni 47 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,790 when you need a superior linguist to negotiate 48 00:01:32,827 --> 00:01:35,093 trade deals with warring encampments, okay? 49 00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,528 Don't worry, we won't! 50 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,598 ? 51 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,734 [PHONE RINGING] 52 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:45,137 OMT, Keeran speaking. 53 00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,672 Yeah, I remember you. 54 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,942 I'll keep an eye out. Thanks. 55 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,344 Get this... some prankster just called to say 56 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,613 that he traded in items that may have bedbugs. 57 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:55,914 Hilarious, right? 58 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,049 Keeran, what are you saying? 59 00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,716 Bedbugs are very real. 60 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,485 No, they're not. They're just fantasy! 61 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,687 Like from that nursery rhyme, 62 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,488 "Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite." 63 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,490 Oh my God! 64 00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:06,824 Are bedbugs really that bad? 65 00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:07,893 JEN: Ugh... 66 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,427 [SHUDDERS] 67 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,963 [CREEPY MUSIC] 68 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,966 The year was 2019. 69 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,701 I flew to Vancouver for a javelin meet. 70 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,771 We got in after an extremely long flight. 71 00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,573 Layovers... delays... 72 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,709 emergency landing in Red Deer, Alberta... 73 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,710 WAYNE: Isn't every landing in Red Deer an emergency? 74 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:26,945 When we finally arrived, 75 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,447 I yearned for a good night's rest. 76 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,850 Little did I know, that's when they feed. 77 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:34,052 They were in your... bed? 78 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,855 Oh, no, Keeran... 79 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,999 I was in theirs. 80 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,191 [CREEPY MUSIC SWELLS] 81 00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,726 - We gotta tell DJ! - Uh-uh! 82 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,661 He's got enough on his plate. 83 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,462 If the guy said that there may be bedbugs, 84 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,965 - then there also may not be. - Smart! 85 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,133 We should toss everything from that trade-in to be safe. 86 00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,635 Okay, don't tell anyone, okay? 87 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,070 Don't tell anyone! 88 00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:54,740 Tell anyone what? 89 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,557 - [SOUND OF JACKHAMMERING] - They couldn't have picked a worse day 90 00:02:56,748 --> 00:02:58,277 to fix that pothole. 91 00:02:58,339 --> 00:03:00,878 Last time, they hit a pipe and cut our water off. 92 00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:03,682 What if it happens again and Nadia needs to wash her hands? 93 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,116 Or poop? She'll eviscerate us. 94 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,819 I better put out more hand sanitizer. 95 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,221 - Smart idea. - What up. 96 00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,889 Got garbage. Need cash. Now! 97 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,691 Nat, no. What are you doing here? 98 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,492 Some guy left all this stuff in the back of my chauffeur 99 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,094 and he didn't tip me, so... 100 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,495 [CHUCKLES] I'm trading it all in. 101 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,163 No, no, no, today's not a good day. We're gonna be featured 102 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,832 in the chronicles of... Nadia! 103 00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,166 - Hello! - Hi. 104 00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,669 Hi. Welcome. 105 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,837 I'm DJ, manager of One More Time sports. 106 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,839 So nice to have you here. Huge fan! 107 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:28,973 - Oh! - Huge fan. 108 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,442 Let me introduce you to our staff. 109 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:31,977 First up, we have Keeran. 110 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,511 Don't touch me! Nobody touch me! 111 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,780 Uh, he was a bubble boy. 112 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,047 He just got out. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 113 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,982 - Hmm! - Next up, we have... 114 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,718 WAYNE: Greetings. Wayne Williamson. 115 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,453 Longest-tenured employee. 116 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,622 If DJ's the head of OMT, then I would be the vertebral column 117 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,723 holding everything upright. 118 00:03:45,729 --> 00:03:47,327 Also, I can scamper up a tree in a matter of seconds, so... 119 00:03:47,404 --> 00:03:48,794 And that was Wayne! You've met Wayne. 120 00:03:48,839 --> 00:03:49,695 - He's a hoot. - Oh? 121 00:03:49,743 --> 00:03:52,331 Jen! Jen Hauser. You're gonna love Jen. 122 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,899 DJ, I'm a little... hot! 123 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,835 In here... It is hot in here! 124 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,537 - Um, hi. - Hi. 125 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:01,207 - Jen Hauser. So nice to meet you. - You, too. 126 00:04:01,277 --> 00:04:03,508 Yo, dickweed, why is there nobody at trade-ins? 127 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:04,910 - Is this another employee? - NAT: Oh my God, ew. 128 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,279 No, I'd never work here, ever. 129 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,380 Are you kidding? 130 00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:10,116 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] You'll have to excuse my sister. 131 00:04:10,148 --> 00:04:13,285 She gets carried away sometimes with fun family banter. 132 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,752 NAT: Family banter? Ew! 133 00:04:15,056 --> 00:04:16,888 DJ: Uh, let me show you the great wall of skates! 134 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,223 Come on over! They're right over here. 135 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,724 [INAUDIBLE] 136 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,226 [QUIETLY] What? I didn't... shut up! 137 00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,594 DJ: Pretty cool, huh? 138 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,861 [JACKHAMMERING] 139 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,030 - JEN: Okay, cleats? - CHRIS: Check. 140 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,099 - Batting gloves? - Check. 141 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:26,731 Jockstrap? Ugh! 142 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,635 Keeran, how many times do I have to explain to you? 143 00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:30,269 We don't accept used jockstraps! 144 00:04:30,355 --> 00:04:34,105 The guy said he always showered before and after he used them! 145 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,041 Looks like we got everything from the transaction 146 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,176 except for one item marked "miscellaneous." 147 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:39,778 Yeah, 'cause there's still one item 148 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,046 that I can't remember the code. 149 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,246 Well, what was it? 150 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,915 Uh, I'm blanking. 151 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,060 Think, Keeran, think! 152 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,717 Hey, what's going on over here? 153 00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:47,785 - Nothing! - Why do you ask? 154 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:48,987 I took a bad trade-in, 155 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,855 and I think the store might have bedbugs! 156 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,858 CYNTHIA: [GASPS] Keeran! 157 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:55,060 Ooh, oww! Augh... ouch! 158 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,329 JEN: I'm literally gonna spew. 159 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,197 - Ugh! What?! - Don't worry. 160 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,999 We tossed all the potentially infested items. 161 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,701 Almost all. 162 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,936 There is still the one miscellaneous item 163 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,270 that I can't remember. 164 00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,639 Well, let's just pray that 165 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,741 Keeran didn't take in a mattress! 166 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,610 In the meantime, let's just stay calm 167 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:12,878 until we know more! 168 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,746 Whoa, whoa, you guys are scratching yourselves 169 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,348 at the same time! We're gonna die! 170 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:17,849 JEN: No. No, no, no. 171 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:18,884 Bedbugs can get into your brain 172 00:05:18,953 --> 00:05:20,052 as much as they get into your body. 173 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,820 Maybe because it's psychosomatic. 174 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:22,954 Let's check! 175 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,222 - Oh, no bites? - Yeah, no bites. 176 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,057 - [RELIEVED LAUGHTER] - Keeran, let's see? 177 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:26,958 - [SOMEONE GASPS] - [CREEPY MUSIC] 178 00:05:26,968 --> 00:05:30,228 It's just a zit, I promise! It's just a zit, guys, please! 179 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,831 I'm a teen, and they happen in the darndest places! 180 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,966 Keeran... 181 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,067 lift up your shirt... 182 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,569 No, there's customers everywhere! 183 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:40,171 Keeran, lift up your shirt! 184 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,606 False alarm, right? 185 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:45,977 - [ALL GASP] - [CREEPY MUSIC SWELLS] 186 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,581 [SCREAMS] 187 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,883 Did you hear something? Like a sharp scream? 188 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,352 You know, high pitches aren't my forte. 189 00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,121 But honestly, it was probably a customer 190 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,055 excited about our low, low prices. 191 00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,724 Happens more often than you'd think. 192 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,126 But if you'll excuse me, I should go let 'em know 193 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:05,029 about our deal on, uh... snorkels! 194 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:07,064 Used snorkels? 195 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:09,134 That's disgusting. 196 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,602 You're quarantining me? 197 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:13,805 It's for your own good... and ours. 198 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,941 We need to clear the store before customers find out. 199 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,843 DJ: All I asked was that we be on our best behaviour. 200 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,678 Now you got me over there pretending I didn't hear something that I did hear. 201 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,648 That's bad luck. What's going on? 202 00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:24,683 Keeran's got bedbugs. 203 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,385 In fact, we might have... 204 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,986 an outbreak. 205 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,823 [CREEPY MUSIC] 206 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,224 I never thought this could happen. 207 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,297 CHRIS: Really? 208 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,694 In a used sporting goods store? 209 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,130 I'm the only one bit! Why can't I just leave? 210 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,231 DJ: Absolutely not. We can't let those monsters 211 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,901 loose in the community. 212 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,702 Jen, Chris, get everyone out of here. 213 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,370 Cynthia, call an exterminator. 214 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,039 I'll wrap up this interview with Nadia 215 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,241 and send her off before she clues in. 216 00:06:49,271 --> 00:06:51,377 Do you need help with Nadia? Because we could tag-team her. 217 00:06:51,401 --> 00:06:53,879 What do you want me to do, boss? 218 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:54,946 Wayne! 219 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,149 Uh, you can go on break. 220 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,918 Stop sidelining me! I have value! 221 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,119 WAYNE: Unbelievable! 222 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:04,322 - You guys got it? - Got it. Let's go! 223 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,257 KEERAN: We'll get through this together, guys! 224 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:09,327 Okay, you, time to go! You, lucky day, follow me! 225 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,129 Hey, if you wouldn't mind just coming right this way with me! 226 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,665 Both of you! Alright, thank you! 227 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,934 CYNTHIA: Hi, is this the Critter Gitter? 228 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,937 Uh, how soon can you... can you gitter? 229 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,271 - What?! - That's right, 230 00:07:20,392 --> 00:07:22,207 none of the hockey stuff is for sale. 231 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,408 Thank you so much. Move along. 232 00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:24,943 Don't touch those skis! 233 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,277 Don't touch the fabric! Thank you so much! 234 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,946 - Take care! - Uh, yeah, we're closed 235 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,414 for a lesser-known holiday, but please come again. 236 00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:33,251 And, uh, be careful of the pothole! It's a big one. 237 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,189 Hey, Guido. 238 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:40,358 Is "the exterminator" still cleaning up messes? 239 00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,360 Just human corpses? 240 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:43,695 Yeah, okay, not today. 241 00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,897 Thank you, take care. Say hi to your wife. 242 00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,332 DJ: And that's why our customers... 243 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,967 we're just going this way right here... 244 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,168 are more than just customers, 245 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,435 - they're family. - Mm-hm. 246 00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:53,038 Wow, this has been really terrific. 247 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,106 If you have any other questions, feel free to call me. 248 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,675 Oh, I'm not done. I cleared my whole day for this. 249 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,910 Your whole day? For a simple, little profile? 250 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,979 - Is that necessary? - I take my job very seriously. 251 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,046 I went to Columbia. 252 00:08:02,118 --> 00:08:04,683 When I write a story, I cover all the angles. 253 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:05,917 Every dirty detail. 254 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,186 [LOUD BOOM AND ELECTRICAL ZAP] 255 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:11,056 [CREEPY MUSIC] 256 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,190 Good thing you can't see dirt in the dark. 257 00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:14,993 Oh, I can. 258 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,027 Of course you can. 259 00:08:20,048 --> 00:08:21,068 CYNTHIA: Oh! 260 00:08:21,135 --> 00:08:22,935 Nadia's in the office. I closed the blinds 261 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,736 and threw on some classical music. 262 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,405 If she's anything like me, it'll both bore and confuse her. 263 00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,741 Okay, well, every exterminator I called is busy. 264 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,611 One guy said he'll come when he can. 265 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,879 If I had a dime... 266 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,713 DJ: In the meantime, the Internet says 267 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,749 there are steps we can take to mitigate this ourselves. 268 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,083 Well, how long is that gonna take? 269 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,152 I've got training! 270 00:08:40,154 --> 00:08:40,819 - Yoga! - Daughter's play! 271 00:08:40,914 --> 00:08:43,498 I know we all have somewhere we'd rather be, okay? 272 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,890 But the store is on life support! 273 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,858 She needs mouth-to-mouth, and I need all the mouths 274 00:08:46,861 --> 00:08:47,960 - I can get. - What? 275 00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:49,093 I'll lead the bedbug charge, 276 00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:50,662 but I need someone to distract Nadia. 277 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,430 Uh, dibs! Shotgun! Me! I'll do it! 278 00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:53,532 - DJ: Thanks, Jen. - [DOOR CLOSES] 279 00:08:53,635 --> 00:08:55,767 Okay, Chris, Cynthia, we need to go around the store 280 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,636 and toss everything Keeran touched. 281 00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,705 KEERAN: Great plan! Should we bring it in? 282 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,407 Three, two... One More Time! 283 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:03,809 [DRILL BUZZING] 284 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,377 KEERAN: [MUFFLED] Is this really necessary? 285 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,545 Pardon? 286 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,146 Is this really necessary? 287 00:09:08,149 --> 00:09:10,182 Sorry, squirt. It's for the good of the store. 288 00:09:10,184 --> 00:09:11,984 - [BANGING] - I've got a date! 289 00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,819 CYNTHIA: Not anymore you don't! 290 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,654 And while you're in there, try to remember 291 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,122 that miscellaneous item. 292 00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:18,990 KEERAN: Aw... 293 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,193 In the meantime... 294 00:09:21,195 --> 00:09:23,929 we've got some bugs to blast. 295 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:28,800 [FUNKY SUPERHERO MUSIC] 296 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:35,073 ? 297 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,076 DJ: Wait... did we check this gear for bugs? 298 00:09:38,212 --> 00:09:40,545 CYNTHIA: Oh, sweet Jesus! Oh my God, okay! 299 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,013 Hold on, hold on... 300 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,115 [NERVOUS MUTTERING] 301 00:09:44,185 --> 00:09:45,684 DJ: I'm good. You good? 302 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:46,751 CHRIS: I'm good. 303 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,052 CYNTHIA: I'm good, too. Right, guys? 304 00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:50,822 Guys? 305 00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,224 [CREEPY MUSIC] 306 00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:53,491 No, please! 307 00:09:53,561 --> 00:09:54,659 You're gonna be okay, Cynth. 308 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:57,696 No! Please! I will give you anything! 309 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,897 Oh, not dental... can't do that. 310 00:09:58,899 --> 00:09:59,998 [DOOR SLAMS] 311 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,500 KEERAN: Well, hello, Cynthia. 312 00:10:01,502 --> 00:10:03,167 [CREEPY VOICE] Welcome to our new home. 313 00:10:03,204 --> 00:10:04,836 - [SKITTERING SOUND] - What's that, beddy-bugs? 314 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,772 You think she's gonna like it here? 315 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,040 - [SKITTERING SOUND] - Me, too! 316 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,842 [CREEPY MUSIC] 317 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,044 [MANIACAL LAUGHTER] 318 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,513 DJ: We gotta get outta these clothes. 319 00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:18,984 - [MANIACAL LAUGHTER] - Get me outta here! 320 00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:20,919 Somebody! 321 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,488 Somebody... 322 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:29,728 [FUNKY SUPERHERO MUSIC] 323 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,796 [CHRIS GROWLS] 324 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:32,964 [ROARS] 325 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,534 Is there nowhere else we can conduct 326 00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:38,537 - the rest of this interview? - Oh... 327 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:41,039 This is the most comfortable spot. [CHUCKLES] 328 00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:43,841 So, when's DJ coming back? 329 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:47,912 Um... uh, I'm not sure. He's just always managing. 330 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,182 But I'd be happy to answer any of your questions. 331 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,683 That's okay, I'll wait. 332 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,051 How long have I worked here? 333 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:55,219 Three years. Do I enjoy it? Sure do. 334 00:10:55,256 --> 00:10:57,956 Is it hard juggling a retail job with Olympic training? 335 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,124 - Sure is. - Olympic training? 336 00:11:00,128 --> 00:11:02,727 Oh, yeah, I'm just going to the Olympics. 337 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,095 Whatever, it's no big deal. 338 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,931 Now, that's an angle. 339 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:08,599 Tell me everything. 340 00:11:08,636 --> 00:11:10,235 [TRIUMPHANT CLASSICAL MUSIC] 341 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,771 Let me outta here! 342 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:15,307 I am very important! 343 00:11:15,309 --> 00:11:17,642 [SIGHS] Dammit! 344 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:21,045 I can't believe I am missing my daughter's play because of bugs. 345 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,146 I cancelled my date. 346 00:11:22,216 --> 00:11:24,225 But that's okay because I have a new one now. 347 00:11:24,285 --> 00:11:26,284 - Oh... - Cynthia? 348 00:11:26,287 --> 00:11:29,121 Meet... Wilson. 349 00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:32,190 Oh! Huh, very good. You're doing cast away. 350 00:11:32,326 --> 00:11:34,192 What's cast away? 351 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,662 See, Wilson, I had big plans for my other date. 352 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:37,863 We were gonna see the world. 353 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,798 And maybe even dry hump! 354 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,267 But now, we can do that. 355 00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:46,071 He's gonna hump things! Get me outta here! 356 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:49,741 Only one apocalypse team worth joining, anyway... 357 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,609 Team Wayne Train. 358 00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:54,746 [MILITARY MUSIC] 359 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:57,181 ? 360 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,284 Gotta stop 'em... 361 00:11:59,353 --> 00:12:02,153 before their next blood meal. 362 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,021 DJ: I can't believe bedbugs don't like peppermint. 363 00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:06,091 It is delightful! 364 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,959 [COUGHS] I can already feel the nicotine 365 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,761 destroying the bugs' nervous system. 366 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,297 Yeah, I can feel it destroying your nervous system, too. 367 00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:14,766 Maybe we just... skip that step. 368 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,635 And hey, dude, I don't wanna jinx anything, 369 00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:17,803 but I haven't seen any bugs. 370 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,237 Neither of us have been bitten. Maybe... 371 00:12:19,373 --> 00:12:21,205 We're in the clear? 372 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,574 We're in the clear! 373 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:23,909 - What's that? - What's that? 374 00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:26,077 - Did you just get bitten? - No, man! 375 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,545 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 376 00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:32,851 I've been bit this whole time. 377 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:36,087 - Oh, dude, what the fuck?! - I-I-I'm sorry, man! 378 00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:38,657 But I... I can't be confined to that room! 379 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:41,092 I'm a free-range chicken! 380 00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:43,261 [MILITARY MUSIC] 381 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,864 It has been an honour serving with you. 382 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,965 DJ: Such an honour. Yeah, okay. There you go. 383 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,869 Alright. 384 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,137 - [DOOR SLAMS] - Ho... ly... shit. 385 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,272 What's going on here? 386 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,141 Nat! You're still here! 387 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,675 Yeah, I was waiting at trade-ins forever 388 00:12:57,711 --> 00:12:59,978 and nobody came, so I took a nap in the break room. 389 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,079 That sounds nice. 390 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,881 DJ, why are you wearing that? 391 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,015 That's... [LAUGHS] 392 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,651 Oh my gosh, wait, I've seen this before. 393 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,319 - Mm-hm? - The garbage bag clothes... 394 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,955 - Don't say it. - The peppermint smell... 395 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,824 The fear in your eyes... Does OMT have bedbugs?! 396 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,793 - Shut up! - Ew, DJ, that's so gross! 397 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,227 Is this where you're quarantining everybody? 398 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,328 That's ridicu... 399 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,030 No, actually, Jen got a puppy, though. 400 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,331 - Really?! - So cute, you're gonna love it. 401 00:13:20,401 --> 00:13:22,167 - Aw, how old is it? - So cute... 402 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,835 - He's wagging his little tail. - Ahh, DJ! 403 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,236 - CYNTHIA: Hold the door! - [DOOR SHUTS] 404 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,771 [LAUGHS] 405 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,706 Well, you live quite the life. 406 00:13:28,776 --> 00:13:29,975 - Mm-hm! - [MUFFLED BANGING] 407 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,309 CYNTHIA: [MUFFLED] Get me outta here! 408 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,476 Um... hmm! Mm-hm! 409 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,312 [TURNS UP CLASSICAL MUSIC] 410 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,014 You know, full disclosure, I've just... 411 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:38,383 I've always had a thing for athletes. 412 00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:39,718 Oh, yeah? 413 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:40,985 Sorry, that is so unprofessional. 414 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,454 No, please. 415 00:13:43,202 --> 00:13:46,224 Hey, um... 416 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,359 Wanna feel my throwing arm? 417 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,861 Yeah, that's... oh, she's nice. 418 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:53,497 DJ: Okay! Interview time. 419 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,933 - Where were we? - Um... 420 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,203 I... I think I have everything I need. 421 00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,938 - [JEN CHUCKLES] - DJ: Oh, okay. 422 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,240 [LAUGHS] Although I would love to grab your number 423 00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,342 just in case, you know, I have any follow-up questions 424 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,743 about the store. 425 00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,411 DJ: Yeah, our number's online if you... 426 00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:10,248 Oh. 427 00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:15,353 - [EXHALES LOUDLY] - [HEROIC MUSIC] 428 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,822 I'm here to drink bubble tea and squash bugs... 429 00:14:17,825 --> 00:14:21,026 and I'm all out of bubble tea. 430 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:26,698 ? 431 00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:30,035 Mommy's not gonna make it to your play tonight, baby! 432 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,038 [CRYING] I'm so sorry! 433 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,106 VIRGINIA: [PHONE] Okay, great! Bye! 434 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,042 [SOBBING] 435 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,244 CHRIS: Aahhh! 436 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,247 KEERAN: Wilson! [SOBBING] 437 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,382 I loved her too hard! 438 00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:47,785 I was promised a puppy! 439 00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:50,188 - [KEERAN CRYING] - [DIAL TONE] 440 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:54,326 ? Hush little baby, don't say a word... ? 441 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:57,996 ? Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird... ? 442 00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,464 [SOBBING] 443 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:00,932 Where did everyone go? 444 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,268 Uh, we close midday for siesta. 445 00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:05,337 Yeah, part of our health and wellbeing initiative. 446 00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,005 You know, the Spanish get it. 447 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,506 Well, I don't usually like to give anything away, 448 00:15:08,509 --> 00:15:10,408 but I think you will be... 449 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,343 very pleased... with this article. 450 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:17,082 You know what? This is ridiculous. 451 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,449 - [MOANING] - NAT: Look at you. 452 00:15:18,553 --> 00:15:22,353 You're all in here losing your friggin' marbles, and for what? 453 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,289 Sheeple, all of you! 454 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,424 Staying in here, why, just 'cause DJ told you to? 455 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,093 And because the door is locked. 456 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:32,096 You know what? I say nay. DJ? It's not up to him, okay? 457 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,498 What makes him the boss anyways? 458 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,433 It's literally his job title. 459 00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:38,336 Too long has DJ benefited from your hard work. 460 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,571 Too long has DJ taken your commissions! 461 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,173 We don't even get commission... 462 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:45,343 Too long has DJ said to you, "sorry? One more time?" 463 00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,312 - Right? - NAT: You know what I think? 464 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,915 I think maybe DJ has had his time. 465 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,417 I think maybe DJ is out of time. 466 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,152 Now, who's with me? 467 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,787 [LOUDLY] I said, who's with me?! 468 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,156 - Yeah! - Viva la revoluci�n! 469 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,357 You're getting outta here! 470 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,059 [ALL CHEERING] 471 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,260 Let's go! 472 00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:06,298 - Oh. - Ooh... 473 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,999 Well, this has been an absolute plea... 474 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,069 [LOUD BANG] 475 00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,302 NAT: Your tyranny ends now, DJ! 476 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,004 - CYNTHIA: Get him! - KEERAN: Wait for me! 477 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,406 What is going on here? 478 00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:15,873 I assure you, nothing is going on. 479 00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:17,541 Locking us up won't rid the store of bedbugs, 480 00:16:17,578 --> 00:16:18,943 you champagne-swilling plutocrat! 481 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,411 Bedbugs? 482 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,014 Now, that's an angle! 483 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,548 Hey! I... I can't let you leave! 484 00:16:24,585 --> 00:16:25,883 Why not? 485 00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:27,619 The bedbug story would ruin OMT. 486 00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:29,321 Also, you've been bitten. 487 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,156 [HORRIFIED GASPING] 488 00:16:35,108 --> 00:16:38,430 I have been to 75 different countries. 489 00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:40,165 I have stayed in terrible conditions. 490 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,299 I have had malaria, typhoid fever, 491 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:44,436 and diarrhoea for weeks... 492 00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:47,238 and that was just in Binghamton, New York! 493 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:50,174 But never have I had bedbugs! 494 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,377 Well, you can thank Keeran for that! 495 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,846 Hey! How do we know it wasn't in the baseball gear 496 00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:56,447 - Nat brought in? - Are you kidding me? 497 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,316 I'm not the one sitting here bragging about 498 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,118 visiting 75 different countries. 499 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,186 Please, it was obviously from Carmen Sandiego over there. 500 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,588 Enough! Enough. 501 00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:06,991 Pointing fingers is pointless. 502 00:17:06,994 --> 00:17:09,194 We need to stop the infestation. 503 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:10,461 CHRIS: Hmm. 504 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:14,399 There is one thing we didn't try. 505 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,433 [AIR VENTS ROARING] 506 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,036 CHRIS: If we hit 50 degrees for 90 minutes, 507 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:21,238 all the bugs and their eggs will die. 508 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,574 Do we have to be inside for this? 509 00:17:23,644 --> 00:17:26,010 Oh, they could be hiding in crevasses in our bodies. 510 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,511 [IN A WHISPER] We gotta be sure! 511 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:28,980 Wait, like, in our buttholes?! 512 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:31,048 - NADIA: Oh my God... - CYNTHIA: Hey, guys? 513 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,285 In case I die from heat, I have gotta confess... 514 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,088 I didn't wanna go to my daughter's play. 515 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,923 She just doesn't have "it," you know? 516 00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:40,692 Does that make me a terrible mom? 517 00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:42,159 No, I'm terrible. 518 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,561 Sometimes when I meditate, 519 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:46,364 I wish ill will on people who say "shedule" 520 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,299 instead of "schedule." 521 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,235 I didn't have a date! 522 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,603 I made it up to seem cool! 523 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:52,970 We knew. 524 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,138 We knew that. 525 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,443 NAT: This brings me back to my days of Gonzo journalism. 526 00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,510 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 527 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,312 Now I just write puff pieces. 528 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,647 Hmm, must have been a really difficult compromise, 529 00:18:03,684 --> 00:18:06,184 especially having graduated from Columbia. 530 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:07,919 Pretty and smart. 531 00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:09,454 [GIGGLES] You wanna hear a secret? 532 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,022 [IN A WHISPER] Yeah. 533 00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:12,557 I never went to Columbia University. 534 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:15,260 I went to Colombia, the country, 535 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,662 and I never corrected people when they assumed the school. 536 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,197 Huh. 537 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:22,066 I actually never graduated from journalism... 538 00:18:22,069 --> 00:18:23,268 at all. 539 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:26,071 Wow. 540 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,005 What a vulnerable thing to share. 541 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,140 Hey, Nadia? 542 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,441 - Oh... kay! - [JEN SIGHS] 543 00:18:30,545 --> 00:18:33,677 Just circling back to see if there's anything I can offer you 544 00:18:33,714 --> 00:18:35,346 for you to keep this under wraps? 545 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,615 Perhaps a skate sharpening card... 546 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,150 with all the holes punched? 547 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,485 - No. - KEERAN: Punching card? 548 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,620 Punch holes...! Punching bag! 549 00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:44,622 The miscellaneous item was a punching bag! 550 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:45,723 WAYNE: That's the nest! 551 00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:47,492 - [LOUD CRASH] - WAYNE: Oof! 552 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,760 JEN: Wayne?! 553 00:18:48,762 --> 00:18:51,196 [GROANING AND COUGHING] 554 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,296 JEN: Are you okay? 555 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,397 There's no time for any questions. 556 00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:54,532 Where is it? 557 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,000 [HEROIC MUSIC] 558 00:18:56,036 --> 00:18:58,369 JEN: Oh, come on! 559 00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:03,007 [SCREAMING] 560 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,642 CYNTHIA: That was the mother lode! 561 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,677 CHRIS: I wouldn't have touched that... 562 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,179 DJ: Damn, Wayne, that was... 563 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:09,347 really brave! 564 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,315 CYNTHIA: If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, 565 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,716 you are on my team. 566 00:19:12,753 --> 00:19:14,352 [ALL AGREEING] 567 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,519 KEERAN: Love you, Wayne. 568 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,188 Yeah, that's cute, but I'm not interested. 569 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,723 I fly solo. 570 00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:21,058 MAN: Hey, uh, someone call an exterminator? 571 00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,393 Wayne, is that you? 572 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:23,761 DJ: You guys know each other? 573 00:19:23,764 --> 00:19:25,263 Oh, yeah, Wayne's a regular. 574 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,031 He's got the worst luck with bedbugs. 575 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,433 Fortunately, they don't bite him, though. 576 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,301 Might be his blood type. 577 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:33,070 Or maybe they find him unpalatable, like the ladies do. 578 00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:34,109 Am I right, buddy? 579 00:19:34,141 --> 00:19:36,140 So, you weren't actually brave? 580 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,176 You just knew they wouldn't bite you! 581 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,310 CYNTHIA: You... 582 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,479 are off my apocalypse team! 583 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:42,680 WAYNE: What?! 584 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,282 No! There's no take-backs. 585 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,284 I rejected you first! 586 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:49,086 Well, it's still courageous to embed myself amongst them. 587 00:19:49,122 --> 00:19:50,421 DJ: Hey, team. 588 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,290 Thanks for all your efforts today. 589 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,592 Uh, for what it's worth, 590 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:57,127 those efforts made no difference at all. 591 00:19:57,164 --> 00:19:59,063 DJ: Well, anyway, I appreciate it. 592 00:19:59,132 --> 00:20:00,431 KEERAN: We didn't really have a choice. 593 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:01,498 Yeah. 594 00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:04,569 You locked us in the skate sharpening room! 595 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,737 [MATERIAL CRINKLING] 596 00:20:06,807 --> 00:20:08,439 CHRIS: Don't you need a shock blanket? 597 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:11,442 It's a sign of weakness. 598 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,110 DJ, thanks for today. 599 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,513 - Really? You're not mad? - Oh, I'm furious. 600 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,148 But I'm thankful for the cover story. 601 00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:18,483 Please don't write about the bedbugs. 602 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:19,488 It'll destroy the store. 603 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:22,453 The people need to know. 604 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,289 Do the people need to know that you're a fraud? 605 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:26,858 - What?! - Yeah, that's right. 606 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:30,128 If you print that, I will have no choice but to tell everyone 607 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,596 that you didn't go to Columbia. 608 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:34,265 Or any journalism school, for that matter. 609 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,667 I told you that in confidence! 610 00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:36,834 I thought we had something. 611 00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:39,370 Baby, we do! 612 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,309 But I can't let you close down our store. 613 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:45,610 Uh... well... 614 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:46,679 hmph! 615 00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,079 [MATERIAL CRINKLING] 616 00:20:48,148 --> 00:20:49,280 Still gonna call me, though, right? 617 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:50,514 Hmph! 618 00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:54,318 Jen, did you just defy all rom-com logic 619 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,353 and choose the job over the girl? 620 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:57,822 Yeah... 621 00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,557 I'm starting to think I love this place as much as you do. 622 00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:01,825 Pfft. 623 00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:04,595 That's impossible. 624 00:21:04,665 --> 00:21:07,432 NAT: Hey! This is what freedom looks like, sickos! 625 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,834 ? 626 00:21:10,871 --> 00:21:14,505 ? 627 00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:18,309 ? 628 00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:21,312 ? 629 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:24,782 ? 630 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,652 ? 631 00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:31,389 ? 632 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:34,325 ? 633 00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:38,925 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 44979

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