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1
00:00:00,216 --> 00:00:01,701
DJ: Hey, there he is!
2
00:00:01,791 --> 00:00:03,478
Got some big news for you, buddy.
3
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:04,570
I'm getting a promotion?!
4
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:05,871
Ha! No, no.
5
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,172
Absolutely not.
6
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,840
But you are getting more responsibility.
7
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,008
Awesome!
8
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:12,044
It's time for you to take
the training wheels off.
9
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,645
We're gonna let you
start handling trade-ins
10
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,783
- like a big boy.
- Really?
11
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,850
Determining the value of
the equipment we take in
12
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,184
is a sacred duty.
13
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:21,319
Used sports goods are the
lifeblood of this store.
14
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,188
Oh-ho, sounds like
someone's been studying
15
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:24,790
the employee handbook,
16
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,325
which only reinforces my
belief that you're ready.
17
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,661
Now, I know you know this
is a huge responsibility.
18
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,230
Make sure you have some fun
with it too, okay?
19
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:35,066
You never forget your first trade-in...
20
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,401
[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
21
00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,503
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
22
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,673
That was amazing.
23
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,043
Tell it again.
24
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,477
[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
25
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,712
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
26
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,349
That was even better the second time.
27
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,219
CUSTOMER: Hey, I, uh,
I'm looking to trade in some stuff.
28
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:55,888
You got this, champ.
29
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,789
Just make sure everything's
in working order
30
00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,324
and pay him what you think it's worth.
31
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,692
Okay, okay.
32
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:01,994
Wait, you're leaving?!
33
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,829
This is something you must face alone.
34
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,163
Okay.
35
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,632
Also, I got killer gas and you
know we don't fart on the floor.
36
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,302
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
37
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:13,772
?
38
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,507
This is all garbage!
39
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,910
He bought torn badminton birdies,
40
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:21,146
these skates from the mesozoic era,
and... eww!
41
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,248
A used mouthguard!
42
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:26,117
Who is gonna buy a used mouthguard?
43
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,586
[MUFFLED] Don't worry, they still work!
44
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,287
Ugh, spit that out! Spit it!
45
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:31,457
I hate to interrupt you
mid-admonishment, Cynth,
46
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,494
but look at this signature.
What does that say?
47
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:38,530
- Rocket... Richard...?
- Rocket Richard!
48
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,866
- Maurice "the Rocket" Richard?
- Who is that?
49
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,001
He's a Montreal Habs legend!
50
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,336
He's the Babe Ruth of hockey!
51
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:45,537
Some might even say Babe Ruth
52
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,005
is the Rocket Richard of baseball.
53
00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,406
Really?
54
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,375
I've never heard anyone say that,
but someone might.
55
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,945
Do you think that this
is the genuine article?
56
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,547
- Guess we'll never know.
- We could call an appraiser!
57
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,550
I guess we'll know soon enough.
58
00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,984
Hey, Jen.
59
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,820
Snack time!
60
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,021
[SCREAMS]
61
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,723
For the love of...
62
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:08,694
What in God's good grace is this?
63
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,262
You ever heard of Christine Lavigne?
64
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:11,496
Is... is this her?
65
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,631
What? No!
66
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,266
She's the world's
greatest javelin thrower
67
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:15,901
and she eats nothing but raw spleen
68
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,502
to get her body into shape.
69
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:21,105
Ugh! Seems... unappetizing.
70
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:22,707
I'll tell you what's unappetizing,
71
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,510
failing Olympic qualifications
by 1.3 centimetres.
72
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,647
CYNTHIA: Aw, Jen! You didn't qualify?
73
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,215
Nope!
74
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,452
Placed 33rd worldwide and 32 get in.
75
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,254
Ooh, tough break.
76
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,224
So... you're saying
that you're gonna eat
77
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,527
nothing but raw spleen for four years?
78
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,263
Is your coach suggesting this?
79
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,797
No, he's fiercely opposed to it.
80
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,400
Yet you still think it's wise.
81
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,635
I don't know, Cynthia, why don't you ask
82
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,670
Christine "the Spleen Queen" Lavigne?
83
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,741
Come on, you think spleen did that?
84
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,342
Oh, I mean, she trains, too,
85
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,277
but spleen is definitely the X factor.
86
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,745
[SIGHS]
87
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,815
I am gonna pray for you.
88
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,017
Oh. Okay.
89
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,986
?
90
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:12,357
[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING]
91
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,694
JOSH: Nice setup, bro!
92
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,862
Never occurred to me to
bring lawn chairs out here.
93
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,565
Yeah, well,
it never occurred to the Egyptians
94
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,233
to build the pyramids until it did.
95
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,468
Huh. I never thought of it like that.
96
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:24,602
Need a light?
97
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,838
- I don't smoke.
- Oh.
98
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,707
Okay.
99
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,243
You see, smokers on average
take 38% more breaks
100
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,810
than non-smokers, without repercussions.
101
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,380
Wow, you really know how to
make the most out of a break.
102
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,415
That's just the tip of the iceberg,
my friend.
103
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,750
When it comes to taking breaks,
104
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:42,520
it's all about quality and quantity.
105
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,289
Teach me?
106
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:48,860
[REGGAE MUSIC CONTINUES]
107
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,528
You know, I usually break alone.
108
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,397
But what would be an ascended master...
109
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,900
- [LAWN CHAIR CLANGS]
- ...without his disciple?
110
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,668
Oh!
111
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,539
Hmm!
112
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,009
I can get used to this.
113
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,077
You will.
114
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:09,815
[REGGAE MUSIC CONTINUES]
115
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,153
[EXHALES]
116
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,555
Alright, Hauser, you got this.
117
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,556
[EXHALES LOUDLY]
118
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:21,559
Just like steak tartare...
119
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,828
without the seasoning
to make it palatable.
120
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,230
Hmm...
121
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,098
Oof... so gruesome.
122
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,167
[HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
123
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:30,335
Mmm...
124
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,171
[WHIMPERING]
125
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,040
Mm-hm!
126
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,575
This is how champions are born!
127
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,178
[INTENSE GUITAR SOLO]
128
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,180
Mmm!
129
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,249
[SNIFFS LOUDLY] Smells like 1954!
130
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,184
No... [SNIFFS]
131
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:47,318
It's '55.
132
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,521
The signature's just inside there.
133
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:50,955
APPRAISER: Oh, yeah.
134
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,794
We've got Radcliffe, Redman, Romijn,
135
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,496
Romijn-Stamos... That's too far.
136
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:02,200
Ah, yes, Rocket Richard.
137
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:03,468
Okay, so...
138
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,869
- See the curve on the R there?
- Mm-hm.
139
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,971
Okay, see the pressure
on the tail of the D?
140
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,608
- Yeah.
- That is his authentic signature.
141
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,177
Oh!
142
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,411
APPRAISER: Mm-hm.
143
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:18,015
These skates are worth
approximately $50,000!
144
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,153
What?!
145
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,985
$50,000? Are you kidding?
146
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:23,822
No, sir,
and that is a conservative estimate.
147
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,024
It is my professional opinion
that these are the exact skates
148
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,926
the Rocket wore the night
he punched a linesman,
149
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,096
and as a result was suspended
for the rest of the season
150
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,631
and playoffs,
causing the famed Richard riot.
151
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,368
Oh! Simpler times.
152
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,903
CYNTHIA: DJ!
153
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:41,840
Oh, imagine what
we could do with $50,000!
154
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,876
That money's not ours.
155
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,778
We gotta find the guy who
brought these skates in.
156
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,714
Ugh, I knew you would say that.
157
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,751
- Hmm.
- [COMPUTER BUZZES]
158
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:56,421
Oh, there is no record of the
transaction in the system.
159
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,590
Keeran, did you even punch this in?
160
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,592
I thought I did. Maybe I didn't.
161
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,761
I don't... I don't know!
It was my first trade-in.
162
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,996
You know, if we had security cameras,
163
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,666
we at least could have taken
a good look at the guy.
164
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,135
You know how I feel about
security cameras, Cynthia.
165
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:13,672
- They breed distrust in...
- Distrust in the community, I got it.
166
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,941
Listen, there is no way we're gonna find
167
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,075
the rightful owner of these skates.
168
00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:21,413
So... maybe we should just
keep 'em for ourselves.
169
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,548
Have I ever told you about the time
170
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,384
I almost lost my faith in humanity?
171
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,354
I was on a plane flying from
Binghamton to Bakersfield.
172
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,822
Cool!
173
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,957
I wanted to sleep,
so I took my hearing aids out,
174
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,960
which renders me dead to the world.
175
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,694
It requires a tremendous amount of trust
176
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,096
in my fellow passengers.
177
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,699
But when I awoke,
that trust had been shattered...
178
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,168
my cellphone and blueberry
muffin were gone.
179
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,870
What year was this?
180
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,171
Uh, 2019.
181
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,238
A $7 muffin.
182
00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:48,573
Oh my God!
183
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,641
I stood up; I asked my fellow passengers
184
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,043
if anyone had seen anything.
185
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:55,247
I pleaded, but no one so much
as looked me in the eye.
186
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:58,250
In fact, someone outright
told me to shut the fuck up.
187
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,317
- Whoa.
- Ugh!
188
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,853
I thought I'd never trust again.
189
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,588
But when I got off the plane,
190
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:06,458
there was an elderly woman on the jetway
191
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,727
with my muffin in her hand,
192
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,912
waiting to return it to me.
193
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,867
I've never eaten a muffin
that tasted so good.
194
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,036
So the old lady stole your muffin?
195
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:22,607
You're missing the point, Cynth,
which is she returned it.
196
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:25,142
And from that day forward,
I vowed to live my life
197
00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:28,679
with the same integrity as that
sweet old lady on the jetway.
198
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,483
Which is why we have to track down
199
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,486
the rightful owner of these skates.
200
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:37,755
Your sense of justice is
refreshing in this day and age.
201
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,891
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
202
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,359
- Let me get the door.
- This one?
203
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,829
Tempered glass,
anodized frame; I peg it at $2,500.
204
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,068
KEERAN: Okay, he might have had hair,
205
00:07:49,165 --> 00:07:50,970
but definitely presented as bald.
206
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,673
He had a moustache, maybe a goatee...
207
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,108
No, it was a fu manchu.
208
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,644
Uh... he had big teeth.
209
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,045
He was missing a few,
210
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,081
but he still came off as toothy,
you know?
211
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,483
- Mm-hm.
- Why is his description so hazy?
212
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:08,186
It was his first trade-in.
He was jacked up on adrenaline.
213
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,322
We are never gonna find this guy, DJ.
214
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,923
Why don't we just keep the skates?
215
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,192
No, no, the rightful owner
is out there somewhere
216
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,728
and this sketch is
gonna help us find him.
217
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,996
That's the guy! That is the guy!
218
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,265
That's Howie Mandel.
219
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,534
[SIGHS]
220
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,769
I thought you were a sketch artist.
221
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,505
No, ma'am, I'm a caricaturist.
222
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,206
- Ahh!
- Ohh!
223
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,344
Well, we obviously
can't use this, but...
224
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,678
Do me?
225
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,014
[BLENDER WHIZZING]
226
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,815
Hey, what you making, beet smoothie?
227
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,351
Close! Spleen smoothie!
228
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,355
Are you gonna cut it
with mango or something?
229
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:47,158
Does the reigning champ cut
it with mango or something?
230
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,225
No, she does not.
231
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,561
Are you saying that if I drank spleen,
232
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,229
I could look like this?
233
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,230
Christine says getting
into peak physical shape
234
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:55,166
is 50% training, 50% diet.
235
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,335
So... I could get halfway to this?
236
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,237
- 100%.
- Holy shit.
237
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,840
Even Shane Corkery's
biceps aren't that big...
238
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,507
and he's the captain
of the wrestling team!
239
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,111
I wouldn't be girlfriendless
if I had a body like that...
240
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,647
Keeran, welcome
to the mean spleen dream team.
241
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,920
- [RETCHES]
- Mmm.
242
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,555
Mmm!
243
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:18,590
Mm-mm!
244
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:19,991
[GROWLS]
245
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:22,260
SAMUEL: Please, please,
have a seat here, have a seat.
246
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,863
Hey, Samuel.
Thanks so much for having me on.
247
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,398
Please, uh, Samuel was my father's name.
248
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,534
Call me, uh, Silky Samuel.
249
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,336
Silky Samuel, anyone ever tell you
250
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,738
that your off-air persona
is nothing like your on-air?
251
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,874
[IN DEEP VOICE] So good
to be with you here
252
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,276
on Silky Samuel in the late afternoon.
253
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:41,413
We've got a sultry guest
with us here today:
254
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:46,318
DJ, the steamy manager
of One More Time sports.
255
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:50,488
Now, I understand that you're
looking for a special man.
256
00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:52,023
I sure am.
257
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:56,761
He's about 5'9 " to 6'3",
bald but confident with it, uh,
258
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,630
and facial hair,
quite possibly even a soul patch.
259
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,766
Ooh, a soul patch!
260
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,300
Sounds stimulating.
261
00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:06,037
And, uh, what is it that
you want to say to this man?
262
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,039
You came by One More
Time sports this morning
263
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,642
and you traded in your
old hockey skates.
264
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,844
Those skates are worth a lot of money.
265
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:16,514
I'm talking $50,000.
266
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,982
So, come by One More Time
267
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,383
and claim what's rightfully yours.
268
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:22,453
Whoa-ho-ho, 50 k!
269
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:25,456
That's right, you shmexy snacks,
you heard it here first.
270
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:29,861
There's gotta be someone in this
town that fits that description.
271
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,596
Does that look like the guy?
272
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,665
- Yeah.
- What about him?
273
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,334
- Oh, yeah.
- And him?
274
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,936
Without a doubt.
275
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,537
Yeah, this isn't working.
276
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,873
[STRAW SQUELCHING SOUNDS]
277
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,475
I got it! Let's make them try it on,
278
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,877
Cinderella-style!
279
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,879
[STOMACH GURGLES]
280
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:51,615
[REGGAETON MUSIC PLAYING]
281
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,419
?
282
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,687
Juice me.
283
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,054
Man, you know, I didn't think we'd
284
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,289
break better than yesterday,
285
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,824
but you've really opened my eyes.
286
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,826
I'm not teaching you how
to open your eyes, kiddo.
287
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,895
I'm teaching you how to close 'em.
288
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,029
Whoa, so wise.
289
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,432
Hey, what is goin' on down here?
290
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,133
You guys breakin'?
291
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,902
Bet your sweet ass we are.
292
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,937
- Can I join?
- Absolutely not.
293
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,872
Come on, man! You have so much to offer.
294
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,841
Well, I suppose the sun
cannot withhold its light
295
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,976
from those upon whom it shines.
296
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:20,344
JOHNNY: So is that a yes, or...?
297
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,447
JOSH: Yeah, yeah,
he's saying you can join.
298
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:26,250
JOHNNY: [LOUDLY] Yo, Joe!
Check out how these guys are breakin'!
299
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,853
I hope you know what you're doing.
300
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,423
Who the hell is Joe?
301
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:36,828
Hey, Jen.
302
00:11:36,953 --> 00:11:37,958
Look at this.
303
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,431
Any closer to Baywatch Zac Efron?
304
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:40,664
He's on my swole vision board.
305
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,199
Who else is on your board?
306
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,536
Okay, I just have a poster of Zac Efron.
307
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,070
Ah, give it time, sport!
308
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,439
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
309
00:11:48,455 --> 00:11:49,460
Hah!
310
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,076
[RETCHES]
311
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,612
Honestly, I don't know how
much more time I can give it.
312
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:55,713
I'm not feeling too hot.
313
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,949
Really? I'm feeling tip-top.
314
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,550
[QUIETLY] My pee is brown.
315
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,420
That's just your gut's biome
acclimating to the nutrients.
316
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,488
Organ meat, eh!
317
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,825
Uh, actually,
you're kind of a weird colour.
318
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,493
Like, I wanna say greyish.
319
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,094
Greyish? No!
320
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:14,031
I can literally feel the spleen
powering me up from the inside.
321
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,167
I'm stronger, faster,
faster than a javelin.
322
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:20,371
I am the javelin and no one
will bring me dow... own...
323
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,773
[THUD]
324
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,107
Jen?
325
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:26,044
Oh, your pee is brown, too!
326
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,046
MAN: [GRUNTS WITH EFFORT]
Fits like a glove!
327
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,181
[GRUNTS WITH EFFORT] Also
fits me like a glove!
328
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,816
As soon you two fellas finish,
329
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,451
it's gonna fit me like a glove, too.
330
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,486
Silky Samuel?
331
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:38,122
No!
332
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:42,393
DJ, what are we proving by
having them try on the skates?
333
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,595
We don't even know if that
guy ever wore the skates,
334
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,731
and even if he did,
there's a lot of people
335
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,333
with size 10 feet.
336
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,267
My God, you're right.
337
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:53,071
Cinderella was full of plot holes!
338
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:56,140
Give me those.
339
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,076
- [INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
- My fellow Korvertonians,
340
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,812
these skates mean something to someone.
341
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,580
Search inside your hearts
342
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:06,017
and imagine someone claiming
something precious of yours.
343
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,886
I implore you, speak truthfully:
344
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:12,557
Is anyone here the actual
owner of these skates?
345
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,694
DJ: Shame on you!
346
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:19,564
Shame on all of you!
347
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,499
Look at yourselves.
348
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:26,303
Look... what... you've... be... come!
349
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,439
Oh, I should not have shaved my head.
350
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,607
Eh...
351
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,278
This is almost as bad
as the muffin incident.
352
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:37,181
I hate to see you this stressed.
353
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:41,719
How about I hang onto
these skates for a while?
354
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:45,456
Et tu, Cynthia?
355
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,258
I can't trust anyone.
356
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,462
The skates stay with me.
357
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:52,630
[SIGHS]
358
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,731
KEERAN: Cynthia, Cynthia!
359
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,868
Okay, Jen blacked out,
but I put her head in ice.
360
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,102
What?
361
00:14:01,317 --> 00:14:06,611
["FADED" BY SOUL DECISION
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
362
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,280
?
363
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:12,149
?
364
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,951
Hey, man, I've been waiting
on a pomegranate-cherry
365
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,219
for five minutes!
366
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,421
I said it's coming right up.
367
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,556
Here!
368
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:23,962
?
369
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:27,031
Hey! Can you watch
where you hacky, please?
370
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,767
I don't smoke!
371
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,035
Argh!
372
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,437
Josh!
373
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,371
?
374
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,739
Would you look at these clowns?
375
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,807
I never thought I'd say this,
376
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,175
but I need a break from the break.
377
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,244
What? No, no, we can't quit.
378
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,879
We worked too hard for this.
379
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,715
Hey, we don't use that word out here.
380
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:44,882
What, quit?
381
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:47,185
No, work.
382
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,986
Look, you're just bartending for free.
383
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,755
I'm sitting over there
in a pool with precum.
384
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,089
It's over, Josh.
385
00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:54,292
We broke too close to the sun.
386
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,462
- I'm sorry, man.
- No, don't be.
387
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,463
I got no regrets.
388
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,466
It was good there for a minute,
wasn't it?
389
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,134
Nah...
390
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,669
It was great.
391
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,805
You know what we gotta do, right?
392
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,741
[SNIFFLES] Yeah.
393
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:14,746
?
394
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,348
?
395
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,016
?
396
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:25,556
[DEATH METAL MUSIC PLAYING]
397
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,893
?
398
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:32,763
?
399
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,500
?
400
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,102
[SCREAMING]
401
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,504
JOSH: Move it! Get outta here!
402
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,307
Hey, let's go back to work, huh?
403
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,642
Yeah.
404
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,112
DJ: And now I don't know who to trust.
405
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,380
What's so special about them?
406
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,950
Oh, they belonged to Maurice Richard.
407
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,318
Legendary NHLer.
408
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,252
Yeah, they're worth a lot of money.
409
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,888
You wanna give 'em a whiff?
They smell like greatness!
410
00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,056
Word to the wise, though:
411
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,424
Greatness smells a lot
like athlete's foot.
412
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,926
Yeah, uh, tempting. Tempting...
413
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,927
but I can't smell
anything with my anosmia.
414
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,097
- Your a-what-mia?
- Anosmia.
415
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,732
Can't smell a damn thing.
416
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,266
- Anosmia, eh?
- Mm-hm.
417
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,135
I can't believe I didn't
know this about you.
418
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,970
It's not something I
talk about very often.
419
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:15,273
It's one of the least respected
disabilities on the planet,
420
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,107
in a tight race with ADD.
421
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,043
MAN: Waiter?
422
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,578
I gotta go.
423
00:16:20,645 --> 00:16:21,646
Smell you later.
424
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,348
- I hear what you did there!
- [CHUCKLES]
425
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,552
Guess you never found the guy.
426
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,188
Hey, take a hike!
427
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,591
Nope, just a community
of phonies and fraudsters.
428
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,059
You know, I meant what I said earlier.
429
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,228
It is refreshing to see someone
care about their fellow man.
430
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,697
You would be surprised
how much greed and deceit
431
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,234
- is in my line of work.
- Never expected to find it in mine.
432
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,503
Great timepiece, BT-Dubs.
What is that, 2004 Seiko?
433
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:46,970
That's like 300 bucks right there.
434
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,939
$40 at the thrift store.
435
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,641
But you have an uncanny gift.
436
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,044
You could make a killing
on The Price is Right.
437
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:56,647
Legally, I'm not allowed on that show.
438
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,050
I'd love to appraise your bedroom.
439
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,517
Oh, it's really nothing impressive.
440
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,319
I've got a bed, a dresser, a gong...
441
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,255
That's not what I meant.
442
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,891
- Oh!
- Yeah?
443
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:07,925
Yeah!
444
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,259
Let's do some appraising!
445
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:12,196
[SULTRY SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
446
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,899
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
447
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:16,467
Wanna take this inside?
448
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,202
I'm just right there.
449
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,403
I can't.
450
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:20,838
I thought you wanted to...
451
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,906
appraise my bedroom?
452
00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:24,408
Oh, I do, but I forgot
that I have an audition
453
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:25,742
for the Antiques
Roadshow in the morning.
454
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,878
I would not want my alarm to wake you.
455
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,880
Oh, I take my hearing aids out to sleep.
456
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:34,952
Unless your alarm is a jet engine,
I'll be fine.
457
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,555
Oh, I wish I could!
458
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,889
I can't.
459
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,625
Rain check?
460
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,560
You got it.
461
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,429
Ooh, 2022 Honda Civic sports edition.
462
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:49,300
This could go anywhere
from 31.5 to 36 k.
463
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,968
Individual temperature knobs?
You're a fancy boy!
464
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,637
Damn, she's good.
465
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,773
- [MONITOR BEEPING]
- We're gonna run some tests
466
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,576
to rule out any permanent organ damage.
467
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:02,180
In a hilariously ironic twist,
your spleen will be fine.
468
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,648
Huh! That is hilarious.
469
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:04,849
Rest up.
470
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,985
There's some reading
material on your side table.
471
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:09,186
Thank you, doctor.
472
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,921
Ooh... [WINCING IN PAIN]
473
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,858
Nothing but spleen?
474
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,059
My God.
475
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,528
[WINCING IN PAIN]
476
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,597
[INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]
477
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,235
Wait... Spleen Queen disqualified?
478
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,603
Pee screen unclean?
479
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,939
Lavigne seen fleeing from team?
480
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,407
If she's out, then...
481
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,810
[CELLPHONE BUZZES]
482
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:37,014
[VANGELIS-STYLE SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING]
483
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:39,149
Hello?
484
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:41,486
Mm-hm, this is she.
485
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,087
Yes. Yes, I understand.
486
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,423
Yes, thank you.
487
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:49,627
I'm in.
488
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,363
I'm going to the Olympics.
489
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,501
I'm going to the Olympics!
490
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,769
[LAUGHS INCREDULOUSLY]
491
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,005
Hey, you're up!
492
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,306
Guess what?
493
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,442
A girl in the waiting
room said I looked sick.
494
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,010
I think this stuff's working, you know?
495
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,678
No, don't!
496
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,116
I'm gonna be an Olympian.
497
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,651
I'm going to be...
498
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,387
a tiger!
499
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,258
[THUD]
500
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,926
Doctor!
501
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:26,663
[SPY MUSIC]
502
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,599
?
503
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:35,272
[WINDCHIMES CLANGING]
504
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,942
[GRUNTING]
505
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,279
Ow...
506
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,481
Ow!
507
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,686
[GONG BANGS]
508
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,954
Oof!
509
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,521
[LAMP RATTLING]
510
00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:55,526
[CLOWN HORN HONKS]
511
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,662
Gah! [IN A WHISPER] Hey.
512
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,096
[LOUDLY] Hey!
513
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:00,164
Alright, well...
514
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,298
[BUBBLE WRAP POPPING]
515
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,167
Yoink!
516
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:04,969
[BUBBLE WRAP POPPING]
517
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:07,504
- [CLOWN HORN HONKS]
- [WINDCHIMES CLANGING]
518
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,941
Galvanized steel?
That's a quality fire escape!
519
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,312
Nailed it.
520
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,480
Hey, Keeran!
521
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,315
- Yeah, boss?
- Feeling better, champ?
522
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,051
Oh, much better since the stomach pump.
523
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:21,918
Oh, terrific.
524
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:23,788
- Uh, where are the skates?
- Oh, great news.
525
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,589
- I found the guy.
- Oh, you did?
526
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,890
- Yeah.
- What did he look like?
527
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,127
Oh, just like you said:
Bald, facial hair...
528
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:32,462
- Toothy, right?
- So toothy, yeah!
529
00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:35,633
Even with the missing teeth.
530
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:38,135
Hey, we never could have found
the guy without your keen eye,
531
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,404
so you really came through
for the store, champ.
532
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,638
Thanks, boss.
533
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,543
I saw you with the appraiser last night.
534
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,712
Did ya? Nice, nice woman. Talented.
535
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,349
Mind if I take a stab
at what really happened?
536
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,317
Be my guest.
537
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,686
You took her home,
bedded her, fell asleep,
538
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,889
and then she stole the skates
and vanished into the night.
539
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,391
What?!
540
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:01,625
No...
541
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,429
I didn't bed her.
542
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,698
Hmph!
543
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,234
[DEATH METAL MUSIC PLAYING]
544
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:14,705
?
545
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:18,376
?
546
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:21,712
?
547
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:25,316
?
548
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:29,720
?
549
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:32,789
?
550
00:21:32,839 --> 00:21:37,389
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