Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,188
Hey, guys, can I
share something with you?
2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,868
Sure.
Yeah. Go ahead.
3
00:00:08,892 --> 00:00:11,760
Well, you know how
I don't ever brag
about my sexual exploits.
4
00:00:11,829 --> 00:00:13,607
That would be
an accurate statement, yes.
5
00:00:13,631 --> 00:00:17,215
Well, last night,
Bonnie and I got really kinky.
6
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,284
She painted my toenails.
7
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,503
What? You serious?
8
00:00:21,571 --> 00:00:22,805
Check it out.
9
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:25,940
What the hell is that?
10
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:27,242
Nail polish.
11
00:00:27,311 --> 00:00:28,477
No. The foot.
12
00:00:28,545 --> 00:00:30,645
It's a child's foot, Joe.
13
00:00:30,714 --> 00:00:32,914
You were crippled
when you were an adult.
14
00:00:32,983 --> 00:00:34,294
How the hell did...
Yeah.
15
00:00:34,318 --> 00:00:36,151
A few months back,
I got really drunk
16
00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:38,686
and was playing around
with an elastic band.
17
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,888
I wrapped it around my thigh
and forgot about it
18
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:44,859
for a week or
two and, yeah, so,
that's my left foot now.
19
00:00:44,928 --> 00:00:46,294
I mean, it still works the same.
20
00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:47,695
Oh, yeah, sure.
21
00:00:47,764 --> 00:00:49,063
Still a foot, I guess.
22
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:50,333
Whassup?
23
00:00:51,901 --> 00:00:53,435
Oh, hey, Cleveland.
Hi.
24
00:00:53,504 --> 00:00:56,605
Wait, don't you
have a show to do...
That's right.
25
00:00:56,673 --> 00:00:58,173
All right.
26
00:00:58,241 --> 00:01:00,587
I knew this was coming.
Everybody give me
your best shot.
27
00:01:00,611 --> 00:01:02,288
Oh, my God.
Where do I even begin?
28
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,913
You know, it's not a good sign
that this is the first time
29
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,793
a lot of people are
realizing you had a show.
30
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,283
Your logo was stupid.
31
00:01:08,352 --> 00:01:10,786
It looked like a big,
purple penis
and your ratings blew.
32
00:01:10,855 --> 00:01:13,288
We did about the same
as Bob's Burgers.
33
00:01:13,357 --> 00:01:15,807
That's your bar?
Oh, shame on you!
34
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,060
This is good.
This is constructive.
35
00:01:18,128 --> 00:01:19,761
The talking bear was so bad,
36
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,263
Seth MacFarlane
quit voicing him
after season two.
37
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,511
It's hard to make
a talking bear funny.
38
00:01:24,535 --> 00:01:27,402
It worked out
okay in movie form.
39
00:01:27,471 --> 00:01:29,404
What was supposed to be
the show's audience?
40
00:01:29,473 --> 00:01:30,905
Who did you make it for?
41
00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:33,186
Like, some black guy
who's never met
another black guy?
42
00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:34,954
Anything else?
Yeah.
43
00:01:34,978 --> 00:01:38,013
Here's four seasons worth
of DVDs of what
we've been up to.
44
00:01:38,082 --> 00:01:39,625
You know,
just so you're
back up to speed.
45
00:01:39,649 --> 00:01:42,489
And I'll warn you
ahead of time,
these have jokes in them.
46
00:01:43,453 --> 00:01:44,853
I...
47
00:01:44,922 --> 00:01:47,756
I don't have a DVD player.
48
00:01:47,825 --> 00:01:50,609
♪ It seems today
that all you see
49
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:54,779
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
50
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:58,183
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
51
00:01:58,235 --> 00:02:01,019
♪ On which we used to rely?
52
00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:04,740
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
53
00:02:04,808 --> 00:02:08,043
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
54
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:09,969
♪ All the things
that make us
55
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,798
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Sorry.
56
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,099
Sorry, Mort.
I... I hate to do this.
57
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:16,688
What...
What's happening?
58
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,136
They want me in the line.
59
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,404
Well, where do I go?
60
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:20,622
Home?
61
00:02:20,690 --> 00:02:22,824
Okay, but I still get
paid for today, right?
62
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,910
Uh... I wouldn't know.
You need to talk to Marla.
63
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,460
Sorry.
64
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,550
You okay?
65
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:32,739
What do you care?
66
00:02:35,272 --> 00:02:37,000
♪ All the things
that make us
67
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,656
♪ Laugh and cry
68
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:43,679
♪ He's a family guy ♪
69
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,488
It'll be nice having Cleveland
back across the street.
70
00:02:53,557 --> 00:02:54,557
Why?
71
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:56,436
I think a lot of times
you only say things
72
00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:58,204
because they
make you sound good.
73
00:02:58,228 --> 00:03:00,623
You know, Cleveland,
it must be weird
for you guys to move
74
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,347
and not 'cause of a hurricane.
75
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:06,952
Oh, Lois, I'm so glad to see
Peter and Cleveland
back together again.
76
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,097
Yeah, me too.
77
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,565
Now Peter will
have something to do
78
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,808
besides flushing the toilet
to Foghat's Slow Ride.
79
00:03:12,876 --> 00:03:14,493
Peter,
what are you doing in there?
80
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:15,927
Nothing.
81
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,129
♪ Slow ride
82
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,466
♪ Take it easy
83
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,770
♪ Slow ride ♪
84
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:29,391
Peter,
you're wasting tons of water!
85
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:32,160
It's not a waste!
And we need a faster toilet.
86
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:33,779
Sup, man?
87
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:34,974
Yeah, yeah, "sup."
88
00:03:34,998 --> 00:03:37,198
Keep walkin',
you Boondocks rip-off.
89
00:03:39,169 --> 00:03:41,269
Home, sweet... Huh?
90
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,424
This house is a disastrous area!
91
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,293
I can't move my family in here.
92
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:51,107
You're right.
Well, we'll all have
to do our part.
93
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,910
I'll take little
cocoa butter here.
94
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,234
What the hell happened?
95
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,347
Well, a lot of people
rented your house.
96
00:03:57,371 --> 00:04:00,205
Uh, Ryan Reynolds,
Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd...
97
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,518
For a while, it was an orphanage
98
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,862
where the children
sang desolate songs.
99
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:08,496
♪ We're too old
to ever be adopted
100
00:04:08,565 --> 00:04:14,235
♪ No one wants
a nine-year-old ♪
101
00:04:14,304 --> 00:04:16,624
Shut up, you bastards!
102
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:24,129
I really appreciate y'all
helping me fix up my house.
103
00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:25,775
Yeah, no problem, Cleveland.
104
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,677
Hey,
where do you want me to put
all these giraffe figurines?
105
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:31,119
Just spread them out.
Don't make any one
room too giraffey.
106
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,122
Cleveland, where
should I hang the mirror?
Right about here?
107
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,524
Maybe a little higher.
108
00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:37,125
Oh, like up here?
109
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,660
I think maybe higher.
110
00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:40,328
You don't want it too high, now.
111
00:04:40,397 --> 00:04:42,564
Let's get you
a different job, Joe.
112
00:04:42,632 --> 00:04:45,733
Are you sure?
'Cause I already hung
all these paintings.
113
00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:48,403
This place is
shaping up real nice.
114
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,875
Hey, Cleveland, what's that?
115
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:55,410
Oh, this is my bead door.
116
00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:56,678
It looks stupid.
117
00:04:56,747 --> 00:04:58,787
Why don't you walk through it?
118
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,834
How do you feel?
119
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,002
Awesome!
120
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:06,351
Like a suitcase comin'
out of the airport.
121
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,808
Yeah, or like a bug walking
through Stevie Wonder's hair.
122
00:05:14,764 --> 00:05:17,682
Turns out this old house
is lacking in storage space,
123
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,985
so I gotta make
some tough decisions.
124
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,436
You gonna keep these neckties?
125
00:05:21,504 --> 00:05:22,882
Yeah, throw them in my car.
126
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,517
They're just to
keep my trunk closed
127
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,086
what if I'm ever
hauling garbage.
128
00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:29,205
I ain't no lawyer.
I use whatever
for my purposes.
129
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,595
Could be a box spring.
130
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,999
Could be an old radio.
Could be a more recent radio.
131
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:36,834
Wait, now I'm confused.
So some of this stuff
isn't trash?
132
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,330
Like this old computer monitor?
133
00:05:38,354 --> 00:05:40,889
Nah, that's a sitting chair,
what for children.
134
00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:42,456
How about this telephone cord?
135
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,792
That's a pet leash.
136
00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:46,511
If the good Lord decideth
we should have one.
137
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,940
I'm gonna go ahead and ditch
138
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,976
these promotional
McDonald's cups
from the '80s.
139
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,632
Nah, that's all we drink from.
140
00:05:51,701 --> 00:05:53,234
That's the Riddler right there.
141
00:05:53,303 --> 00:05:56,087
He would make inquiries
to set your mind a-jumble.
142
00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:58,167
How do you live in a house
with all this junk?
143
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,620
I'd rather stay
in a house
with small kids.
144
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:02,672
So you can sleep on the couch.
145
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:06,130
Uh, please take
the potty seat off the toilet,
don't try to pee through it.
146
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,944
There's juice boxes
in the fridge
147
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:11,014
and if you get hungry,
there's plenty of
Goldfish in the couch.
148
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,504
Um, feel free to watch TV
with the sound off.
149
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,685
And the kids will be down here
first thing in the morning
150
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,408
to antagonize the dogs.
151
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:19,517
Oh, and everyone here
has pinkeye.
152
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,636
"And that was the moment
I stopped being Dwayne Johnson
153
00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:29,871
"and started being The Rock."
154
00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:31,718
That's a good place
to leave off.
155
00:06:31,742 --> 00:06:33,074
Hey, I just realized.
156
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,088
We're The Rock!
What do you mean?
157
00:06:35,112 --> 00:06:38,697
Together, you and I make
one biracial wrestler.
158
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,365
Do you have any folding chairs?
159
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,433
No.
160
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,234
That's all right.
I'll use this.
161
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,147
Folding chair!
Ow!
162
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:46,454
What was that?
163
00:06:46,523 --> 00:06:49,173
That was my
great-grandma's vase!
164
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,610
On the drive up from Virginia,
she kept that vase
between her legs.
165
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,063
What are you doing?
166
00:06:55,131 --> 00:06:57,665
Making sure you learn
your lesson.
167
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,084
Ow! It hurts! It hurts!
168
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:03,822
I can't believe Japanese men
pay good money for this.
169
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,575
At work,
I am important businessman.
170
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:09,977
Here, I am bad boy!
171
00:07:16,052 --> 00:07:18,937
We now return to
The Gay Bachelor.
172
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:21,923
Ew. They're all gross!
I'm keeping the roses.
173
00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:25,026
Mom! Mrs. Brown spanked me!
174
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,243
What?
175
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,072
And you still haven't
pulled up your pants?
176
00:07:28,298 --> 00:07:29,530
Chris, what happened?
177
00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:31,733
I was playing with Rallo
and I broke a vase
178
00:07:31,801 --> 00:07:33,885
and then she gave me a spanking!
179
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,621
Uh, I believe the term
is "whuppin'," Chris.
180
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,601
God, look at the size
of that handprint.
181
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,791
It's like Doctor J.
182
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:42,911
Peter, this is serious!
A woman hit our child!
183
00:07:42,979 --> 00:07:44,596
What is wrong with her?
184
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:48,082
Whoa!
Can I get some white bread
on that judgmental sandwich?
185
00:07:48,151 --> 00:07:50,196
Brian, why are you
bringing race into this?
186
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:53,354
Lois, I've spent my life
trying to keep race
out of things.
187
00:07:53,423 --> 00:07:56,357
That's why
whenever I walk into Lids,
every guy fist-bumps me.
188
00:07:56,426 --> 00:07:58,159
Oh, you're full of crap, Brian.
189
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,838
I'm just saying,
Lois, some of us
190
00:07:59,862 --> 00:08:01,440
go through life
without seeing color.
191
00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:03,631
That's because
you're colorblind, Brian.
192
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:05,912
You're right.
I am colorblind.
193
00:08:05,936 --> 00:08:08,403
Here. And here.
194
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:10,511
Hey, remember
when you swallowed
that rib-eye bone
195
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:12,273
and you couldn't poop it out?
196
00:08:12,342 --> 00:08:14,804
And then you pushed real hard
and the poo came
through the rib eye hole?
197
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,279
Peter, we gotta go
over there and talk to Donna.
198
00:08:17,347 --> 00:08:19,292
All right,
but you need to
cool down first, Lois.
199
00:08:19,316 --> 00:08:21,116
Find a way to
channel your anger.
200
00:08:21,184 --> 00:08:23,084
What I do is throw
a shot put into a crowd
201
00:08:23,153 --> 00:08:25,003
and make it look
like an accident.
202
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,373
I forgot to make it
look like an accident.
203
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,784
That woman is gonna be sorry
she laid her hands on our son.
204
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,118
Hello.
205
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,521
Hi, just so you know,
this is sort of Lois's thing.
206
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,774
I'm not really upset about it.
So... Go ahead, dear.
207
00:08:45,842 --> 00:08:48,542
Donna,
what gives you the right
to spank my child?
208
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,962
It always smells like
the same meal over here.
209
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,598
I hit him for a reason.
He broke my vase.
210
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,618
And maybe I wouldn't have
to discipline your child
if you did it yourself!
211
00:08:57,687 --> 00:09:00,249
Oh, please!
The only thing kids
learn from spanking
212
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,602
is adults don't
have the patience
to teach them.
213
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,459
Bull honkey!
What?
214
00:09:04,528 --> 00:09:07,806
I don't spank,
and my children are
very well-behaved.
215
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:10,631
Oh, yeah? Your baby's
on the roof right now.
216
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,469
Stewie!
You get down from there
this instant!
217
00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:16,737
Munch me, bitch!
218
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,840
Right now, Stewie,
or you're in time-out!
219
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:21,587
How many gray pubes
you pluck today,
you old bag?
220
00:09:21,611 --> 00:09:24,729
Your time-outs are a joke.
You're a terrible parent.
221
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,765
I'm a terrible parent?
You're a child abuser!
222
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:28,911
You know what?
223
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:30,680
From now on,
I don't want our families
224
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,415
having anything to
do with each other!
225
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,801
Well, Cleveland, looks like
these two little alley cats
226
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:36,302
have scrapped it out.
I'll see you tomorrow.
227
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:37,670
That includes you, Peter.
228
00:09:37,694 --> 00:09:39,961
I don't want you ever
talking to Cleveland again.
229
00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:43,565
And, Cleveland,
I forbid you from ever
talking to Peter again!
230
00:09:51,307 --> 00:09:56,727
Hey, Lois, look! I'm smoking!
You can't control dick!
I'm a roof baby now!
231
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:04,736
So we're making plans for
Susie's first birthday party.
232
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,370
Oh, that's good bar talk.
233
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:10,125
Hey, y'all... Oh.
Sorry, Peter,
I'll get outta here.
234
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,071
No, no, no, no, I'll go.
I'll go. It's okay.
235
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:13,211
What's going on?
236
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,113
You guys touch pee-pees
or something?
237
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,225
I wish.
238
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,061
No, our wives got in a big fight
239
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,829
and banned us from
seeing each other.
240
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,265
So what if they're in a fight?
What does that
have to do with you?
241
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,033
Well, I gotta live with Donna.
242
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,690
Uh-oh.
There she is.
243
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,677
Oh, no! Peter, quick!
Change pigments!
244
00:10:34,183 --> 00:10:35,399
That was close.
245
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:38,547
Peter, we can't
risk seeing each other.
246
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:41,606
But, Cleveland,
you and I are pals,
and I just got you back.
247
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,836
Well, there might
be one solution.
248
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:46,405
We just got to hang out
where there's no chance
we'll be seen.
249
00:10:46,429 --> 00:10:48,157
You know, keep it a secret.
250
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:51,399
Then that's what we'll do.
'Cause I can't lose
you again, Cleveland.
251
00:10:51,468 --> 00:10:54,285
I'm closer to you
than I am to
my own right hand.
252
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:59,523
Oh, my God,
you like scrambled eggs, too?
Here, go ahead, have some.
253
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:02,226
Whoa! That's a big bite there.
Slow down, buddy.
254
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:06,489
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
He's choking!
255
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,766
Thanks for coming.
256
00:11:08,818 --> 00:11:12,303
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming.
257
00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:16,335
Why you thought
it was appropriate
258
00:11:16,359 --> 00:11:19,026
to show up here, Cheryl,
I have no idea.
259
00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:24,905
Are you sure
this is the best solution,
Peter?
260
00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:26,767
I just figured
a plane is a safe place
261
00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:29,270
where you and I can hang out
and not be seen by our wives.
262
00:11:29,339 --> 00:11:31,639
Oh. That makes sense.
So, what have you been up to?
263
00:11:31,707 --> 00:11:33,452
Sorry, Cleveland,
I'm gonna have to
cut you off there.
264
00:11:33,476 --> 00:11:34,553
Whenever I ride on a plane,
265
00:11:34,577 --> 00:11:36,944
I have to put on
my noise-canceling headphones.
266
00:11:37,013 --> 00:11:39,847
Leaves me alone
with nothing but my thoughts.
267
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,960
But I don't want to
kill all these people!
268
00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:44,163
I don't careabout the alignmentof the dark forces!
269
00:11:44,187 --> 00:11:45,553
Leave me alone!
270
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,068
I love my wife Donna.
271
00:11:50,092 --> 00:11:52,793
I wish she and Peter's wife
got along better.
272
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:55,630
That's why we're
on this airplane.
273
00:11:55,698 --> 00:11:57,565
I'm Cleveland.
274
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,987
Ah, dang it!
275
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,021
Do you have any idea
how fast you were going, sir?
276
00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:10,378
Peter?
277
00:12:10,446 --> 00:12:11,723
Hey, Cleveland,
this is just so we can talk
278
00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:13,592
without getting
spotted by Lois and Donna.
279
00:12:13,616 --> 00:12:15,361
I need you to step
out of the car, sir.
280
00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:16,846
Peter, there's got
to be a better way...
281
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,269
He's got a knife!
282
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,719
Sorry, Cleveland,
it's got to be authentic.
Stay down! Stay down!
283
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,754
Ow!
Cleveland,
try to grab my gun.
284
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,922
Oh! Trying to
grab my gun,
are you?
285
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,515
Hey, rookie, save some for me.
286
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:35,352
Wow, the whole
gang's back together.
287
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,239
Shut up!
We don't need you
in this town!
288
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,243
We don't need you in this town.
289
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,972
Oh! Oh, hi, Lois.
290
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,352
You were with Cleveland,
weren't you?
291
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,376
No!
292
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,693
Then what were you doing?
293
00:12:58,762 --> 00:13:00,261
I'm, uh...
294
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:01,696
I'm having an affair.
295
00:13:01,764 --> 00:13:02,941
That's ridiculous.
296
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:04,498
It's not ridiculous.
297
00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:07,012
It's Cybill Shepherd.
She's attainable
for a guy like me now.
298
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,215
Peter, enough lies.
I know you were
with Cleveland.
299
00:13:10,239 --> 00:13:13,107
Until further notice,
you can sleep downstairs.
300
00:13:15,745 --> 00:13:18,446
Oh, man. I wonder
how it's going for Cleveland.
301
00:13:18,514 --> 00:13:21,599
Cleveland, get in here!
And pull your pants down!
302
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:27,097
At least turn me over
to my back side!
303
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,673
We now return to
304
00:13:34,697 --> 00:13:37,648
Slightly Too Early Comedy Club
Audience Member.
305
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,967
Not like when Clinton
was in the White House, huh?
306
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,669
When Clinton was
in the White House,
307
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,782
all you needed to votewas a piece ofduct tape and a...
308
00:13:43,806 --> 00:13:46,290
Yes, yes!
309
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,759
But things are different
with the Republican majority.
310
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,128
They're totally in the pocket
of the oil companies.
311
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:54,331
I mean, the Presidentof the United Statesmight as well be...
312
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,635
Amen! Why not?
Why not, right?
313
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,336
But I guess it could be worse.
314
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:00,972
The other day, my wife asked me
315
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,560
if her ass looked fat
in her jeans.
316
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:03,741
And I'm like, "Honey..."
317
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,710
Oh, no!
318
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:08,779
Wow. Wow!
319
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,765
Dad,
what are you doing down here?
320
00:14:10,834 --> 00:14:12,700
Your mom's making me
sleep on the couch
321
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,246
'cause she caught me
hanging out with Cleveland.
322
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,770
How about you?
323
00:14:15,839 --> 00:14:17,349
Mom's making me
sleep in the basement.
324
00:14:17,373 --> 00:14:20,074
Sleeping lower in the house
is a big punishment for her.
325
00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:21,709
Well, this isn't working.
326
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,323
I can't keep sneaking around
trying to hang out
with Cleveland.
327
00:14:24,347 --> 00:14:26,425
Maybe you could figure out a way
328
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,449
to get Mom and Mrs. Brown
to be friends.
329
00:14:28,518 --> 00:14:30,017
Yeah, you know, I bet I can.
330
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:32,230
I mean,
I'm the guy who figured
out how much eye contact
331
00:14:32,254 --> 00:14:34,656
a band should make
during a guitar solo.
332
00:14:37,893 --> 00:14:41,996
Yeah, we're in sync,
and showing others
how much we love the song.
333
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,051
Okay, okay,
time to turn away now, Vince.
334
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,355
Come on,
we got a lot of song left!
Turn away!
335
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,523
Look at something else!
336
00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:56,744
I'm glad you didn't listen.
337
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:04,885
Chris is right.
I got to do something.
338
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:02,254
All right, Cleveland,
nothing bonds
women together like
339
00:16:02,278 --> 00:16:04,756
having to take care
of invalid husbands
in the hospital.
340
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:06,464
What?
Don't die!
341
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:15,722
Oh, Cleveland,
I'm gonna hate
those Griffins forever.
342
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,592
Only my side had airbags.
343
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,531
Peter, what are we doing here?
344
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,744
Well, women will
always band together
345
00:16:25,768 --> 00:16:28,785
to stop
an offensive art exhibit
from coming to town.
346
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:31,422
So I've arranged for all
my photos of baby wieners
347
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,873
to be put on display.
348
00:16:32,942 --> 00:16:36,176
Oh, Peter, I'm gonna
have to call the police
on this.
349
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,057
What? Why?
It's to get our
wives back together!
350
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:43,183
Peter, these are
hundreds of naked babies
in suggestive situations!
351
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:46,153
And they're time-stamped
as far back as 1998,
352
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:49,023
which is way before
we had this idea!
353
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,491
I need help!
354
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:55,707
All right, Cleveland,
one thing that
always bonds women
355
00:16:55,731 --> 00:16:57,581
is healing an abused animal.
356
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,433
So I got us
an injured bald eagle.
357
00:16:59,502 --> 00:17:01,202
Somebody put
cigarettes out all over him.
358
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,215
Peter, that's
a symbol of our country.
359
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:05,072
This particular eagle is a dick.
360
00:17:05,141 --> 00:17:06,985
Everything out of
its mouth is a taunt.
361
00:17:07,009 --> 00:17:08,554
Peter, you're being ridiculous.
362
00:17:08,578 --> 00:17:10,723
And you need to release
that eagle out into the...
363
00:17:10,747 --> 00:17:12,480
What'd that eagle say?
364
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:15,766
Lock the door.
365
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:25,225
Peter, let's just
give Susie her gift,
eat our cake, and leave.
366
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,762
I don't want to be here
with that Brown family.
367
00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:30,097
That sounds even
more racist than it is.
368
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:35,836
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you
The Great Quagini!
369
00:17:35,904 --> 00:17:38,506
Hey, everybody!
There's the birthday girl!
370
00:17:38,574 --> 00:17:40,407
Oh, oh.
What's that behind your ear?
371
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:42,209
Oh, it's a condom!
372
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:45,398
Quagmire, please stop
touching my baby
with a condom.
373
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,092
And for my next trick,
I'm gonna split
374
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:48,694
my beautiful assistant in half.
375
00:17:48,718 --> 00:17:50,396
And not the way you think.
376
00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:52,820
Won't be needing this.
377
00:17:52,888 --> 00:17:56,741
Okay, time for
the three-legged race.
Pair up, everyone.
378
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,843
All right, Peter, let's do it.
You're my
three-legged race partner.
379
00:18:31,728 --> 00:18:33,522
No, Lois, I'm not
gonna be your partner.
380
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,546
What?
381
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,091
I'm gonna be
partners with Cleveland.
382
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,515
Peter, I told you...
383
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,562
And I'm telling you
Cleveland and I have
384
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,419
won every three-legged race
in Quahog
385
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,399
except that time
those two one-legged guys
386
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,704
formed the perfect
running person.
387
00:18:46,642 --> 00:18:48,203
Cleveland, what do
you think you're doing?
388
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,907
Peter's right.
We're friends
and that's that.
389
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,097
This whole fight is ridiculous.
390
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:56,450
Now, let's go win
a race with no prize.
391
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,841
On your mark, get set, go!
392
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:11,015
Did you see that?
My dog had a gun.
393
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,767
How are we doing?
Are we beating anyone?
394
00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:16,196
I waited too long
to pick a partner.
395
00:19:18,274 --> 00:19:19,289
Ahhh!
396
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,971
Oh, my God!
Peter, are you okay?
397
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:26,814
I'm down! I'm down, Cleveland!
Go on without me!
Save yourself!
398
00:19:26,883 --> 00:19:28,999
No, I won't leave you.
399
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:32,653
We started this race together,
we're gonna
finish it together.
400
00:19:32,721 --> 00:19:34,922
I'm gonna carry you, Peter!
401
00:19:38,828 --> 00:19:40,227
Oh, my God, Peter.
402
00:19:40,296 --> 00:19:42,964
I can't pick you up.
How much do you weigh?
403
00:19:43,032 --> 00:19:45,978
I don't know.
My car can't go
up hills, though.
404
00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:48,402
Well, then there's
only one solution.
405
00:19:48,471 --> 00:19:50,137
Hug and roll!
406
00:19:55,645 --> 00:19:57,995
Boy, those fools
sure do love each other.
407
00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,097
Yeah, I guess they do.
408
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,000
You know, Donna, they've
known each other a lot longer
than we have.
409
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,134
That's true.
410
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,781
And if we're gonna be neighbors,
411
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,906
we're gonna have to learn to
set aside our differences.
412
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,074
Friends?
413
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:11,142
Friends.
414
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:16,897
Mrs. Brown?
I want you to spank me again.
415
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,783
We're gonna win!
We're gonna win!
416
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,050
Not so fast.
417
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,495
Damn it!
418
00:20:35,851 --> 00:20:37,646
You know, Cleveland,
I got to say,
419
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,037
it's great having the old gang
back together again.
420
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,683
Well, it's great being back.
421
00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:42,751
To Cleveland!
422
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,475
To Cleveland!
To Cleveland!
423
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:47,111
To me!
424
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:50,247
You know, not a single person
stopped watching
'cause you left.
425
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,601
He doesn't have the guts
to say anything back.
32945
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof