All language subtitles for Bellezonismo.2019.WEBRip
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1
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:29,760
Socrates…
2
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,560
STEP 1: FIND AN ISOLATED AREA
3
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,200
We're lost!
4
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,000
Shit, shit, shit! It's all
your fucking fault, you illiterate.
5
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,000
- I said left curve.
- It was a right curve.
6
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,560
- This says…
- How dare you contradict me?
7
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,000
I was a five-time
worldwide rally runner-up
8
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,200
when you were still
the wet diaper runner-up!
9
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,400
Are you part of a plot to make me lose?
10
00:00:58,480 --> 00:00:59,480
What?
11
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,080
Say: "I'm not an Illuminati."
12
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,080
- What?
- You're one of them!
13
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,680
- I'm not an Illuminati!
- Ok, ok.
14
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,400
I believe you. You're telling the truth.
15
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,720
Because your voice didn't quiver.
16
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:21,640
That's how I know someone's lying.
I learned it in an online FBI course.
17
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,000
You should be proud.
You did well under extreme pressure.
18
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,000
Like that girl being circumcised.
19
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,240
My stomach's killing me.
It hurts when something's wrong.
20
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:39,480
She's insane, hitch-hiking out here.
Ask her how to get back to civilization.
21
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,280
- No, no, don't stop.
- You think it's an ambush?
22
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,520
I haven't spoken
to a woman in over two years.
23
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,880
She's just a girl.
Oh, you poor degenerate...
24
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,920
Fine, I'll do the talking.
25
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:01,680
Excuse me.
26
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,000
Ok, ok, you've convinced me.
I'll take you anywhere you want.
27
00:02:06,656 --> 00:02:08,200
I already lost anyway.
28
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,240
Watch it, boys.
29
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,240
What, you thought
we were going to rape you?
30
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,720
Why is making love to me
all women think about when they see me?
31
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,960
- Asshole!
- Why's she insulting me
32
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,054
- if you were talking?
- Don't piss her off.
33
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,880
It's your fault
we'll miss out on a free good time.
34
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,000
Why wouldn't it work out between us?
35
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,040
So immature!
36
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,200
I'll get in just so you stop bugging me.
37
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,000
So, where will it be?
38
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,800
- You can't go where I'm going.
- Is that a left or a right?
39
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,320
I can't give the exact address
because nobody knows where it is.
40
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,240
It's not even on a map.
41
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,400
The legend says you can only arrive
42
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,040
after getting lost.
43
00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,440
It's raining!
44
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:03,440
Shit!
45
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,240
Slow down!
46
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:14,640
What was that?
47
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,080
We're here.
48
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,800
Look at that.
49
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,960
There are Asians with asses.
50
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,880
I died in the accident and went to heaven.
51
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,960
I died too and now I'm in hell.
52
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,920
Wonderful, Miss. Wonderful.
53
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,760
Raise that chin, Rollergirl.
54
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,960
Your posture must be like a prayer.
55
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,560
Of course, He.
You're such a tennis expert.
56
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,480
At last we meet, He.
57
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,560
Nobody knows anybody. Not even themselves.
58
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000
And you are?
59
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,000
Jose. I follow you on Instagram.
60
00:04:26,258 --> 00:04:30,442
No, you're Wonderbra
and you've come to find happiness.
61
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,000
Any trouble finding us?
62
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,240
I got lost.
63
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,000
Yeah, we really need to get some signs.
64
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,000
Alright, Wonderbra.
65
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,640
Ask for L'Oreala,
she'll show you to your bed.
66
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,440
Excuse me, what the hell is this place?
67
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,800
A scalene triangle!
68
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,440
The legend says
that He can't tolerate ugliness.
69
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,955
If He sees an ugly person, his ear bleeds.
70
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,800
You, Lardo, get your ass…
71
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,080
Ass, ass!
72
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,520
…out of my "communitee".
73
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,960
If this is a "communitee"…
74
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,320
why are they all goddesses?
75
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,000
So now the guru can't choose
what kind of community to create.
76
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,280
Go, He's bleeding out!
77
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,720
You're the worst thing
to ever happen to me.
78
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,440
Don't mind us, we'll just be going.
79
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000
Hurry up…
80
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,440
- This is a very dangerous cult!
- A cult?
81
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,578
Community means conclave.
Conclave means cult.
82
00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:30,920
He called himself a guru.
83
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,560
Something might happen to her.
84
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,360
- We're abandoning her?
- Yes.
85
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,000
What the hell
kind of fucking joke is this?
86
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,960
Maybe I should drive?
87
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,520
Nené?
88
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,760
- Socrates?
- Nené!
89
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,280
- De Bello?
- Yes!
90
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,000
How did you find me?
91
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,480
Coinci... Destiny.
I didn't know you were here.
92
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,920
I had a restraining order.
93
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,280
- But it expired.
- You were 24, I was 12 and 3 months.
94
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:40,280
I was confused. My first girlfriend
left me and I didn't calculate right.
95
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,400
It was your parents
that turned you against me.
96
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,680
Hey, I didn't touch you.
I promised I'd wait until you were 14.
97
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,160
I just ran my finger down your back.
98
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,880
Bad girl.
99
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,560
Nené! What are you doing here?
100
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,640
Nené! I still love you!
101
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,000
- Why did that ass call me ugly?
- You know that tigress?
102
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,440
Oh, yeah. She was my second great love.
103
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:15,000
I read a magazine in Driver's Ed that said
they're the worst. Well, are we going?
104
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,000
The blood will stain!
105
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,000
It's all that Lardo's fault.
106
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,000
Forget about that now. I'm right here.
107
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,000
That's all you need.
108
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,560
Perfection.
109
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,560
Symmetry.
110
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:35,920
Photoshop.
111
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:42,280
You're right.
Thank you for answering my call.
112
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,000
You can go. But not too far, in case I...
113
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,000
In case Bonbon gets scared.
114
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,960
No more blood in your blessed ear.
115
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,680
- This won't work.
- Shut up!
116
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,000
When I saw Nené with those shears,
117
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,040
I realized I would die for her.
118
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:09,000
I can't just leave her in the hands
of that nut job with such bad taste.
119
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,960
Plus, I don't know how to get out.
120
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,160
So my only chance
to free her is from the inside,
121
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,000
brainwashing her with cunnilingus.
122
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,880
I think it's going to sprinkle.
123
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,760
"It's just humidity from the pool."
I feel my hair frizzing.
124
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,240
"Don't worry, my king, you're very sexy."
125
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,080
- Amen.
- Hello!
126
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,440
Heart attack.
127
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,000
We are Sandy and Mandy.
And our asses are always hanging out.
128
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:44,000
We've heard you can fix that,
and we'd love to join your cul...
129
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,280
Community.
130
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,240
- Bastards!
- You're jealous!
131
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:54,560
Lardo, He only accepts
hot girls in his center.
132
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,160
The guy's smart, he's on to us.
133
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:02,560
Come on, if you accept me,
you can do manly things with me.
134
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,320
Experiment.
135
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,000
And I won't tell the president of Spain
136
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,440
about your little setup
and get it shut down!
137
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:16,400
I've seen the eyes and chests
of your girls, they're radiant.
138
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,000
And I can only improve my figure
139
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,840
with your bloody ear
reminding me who I am.
140
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:38,920
Alright, Lardo,
let's see how far you're willing to go
141
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,720
to be a member of the center
while we explain who we are.
142
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,240
And I dress you up.
143
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,400
He was actually a designer.
144
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,040
Some doorknob, right?
145
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,280
No, no, He was
the enfant terrible of fashion.
146
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,520
There was no one like him.
He threw the greatest parties.
147
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,160
One day, He was offered
the chance to design large sizes
148
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,000
while making bank.
149
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,240
Being so generous
and humble, He couldn't turn it down.
150
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,000
Go! But when He was fitting a model...
151
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,000
- A fatty.
- …He ended up vomiting.
152
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,680
One night, trying to forget,
He went too far with a spiritual leader
153
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,600
- and insulted a couple of…
- Jews.
154
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,600
The fatty recorded everything
155
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,040
and caused quite the stir
in the media, which crucified him.
156
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:27,160
Tired of that hypocritical society,
He decided to turn his life around.
157
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,640
But He didn't know how.
158
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,320
That was when
the it girl arrived at his agency.
159
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,000
Let's go.
160
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:37,600
At just 18, she was perfect,
everything always matched.
161
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,160
Lardo, drop them.
162
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,040
- Right away.
- Not those.
163
00:10:43,856 --> 00:10:45,160
But she had just found out
164
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,106
her boyfriend was cheating
on her and she had a breakdown.
165
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,160
- Lardo!
- What?
166
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,920
Lower your glutes!
167
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,000
If not, they won't grow.
168
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,160
So one day, she told He
169
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,240
that she wanted sushi,
170
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,600
and then something
that would change human history forever.
171
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,960
After that mess with my ex,
getting a zit is just what I needed.
172
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,440
And He had a revelation.
173
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,000
He encouraged Miss to abandon the world,
174
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:18,400
forget about that off-white loser and go
with him and other girls to a commune
175
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,000
to experience his revolutionary "theoree"
176
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:27,280
whose fundamental principle is that
until we get over our internal trauma,
177
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,360
we won't radiate
our full external "beautee"...
178
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,400
"Beautee"! "Beautee"!
179
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,400
...which is our main objective.
180
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,800
According to He's imagination,
181
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,880
20% of our beauty depends on genetics
182
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,600
and the remaining 80% on how happy we are.
183
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,640
Is that one
of the new girls you mentioned?
184
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,880
What is Nené doing
up to her eyeballs in shit here?
185
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,840
L'Oreala was a doctor and occasional
model, as well as He's girlfriend.
186
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,240
He? But He is gay.
187
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,600
Isn't He gay?
188
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,680
He's just sensitive and effeminate.
189
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,800
She helped with
all the logistics founding the center,
190
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,200
turning into
his right hand. Left too.
191
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:19,000
Hey, how can you stand He making you
repeat everything He says over and over?
192
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,880
Or always talking with his head turned?
Well, when He remembers.
193
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,600
- You haven't realized?
- What?
194
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,960
He's looking for his good side, the right.
195
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,040
It will be great for Wonderbra
196
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,000
when that zit disappears.
What an embarrassing face.
197
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,160
So tell He your problem
198
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,240
and He'll tell you
the "therapee" to follow
199
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,880
for it to disappear, Wonderbra.
200
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000
Jose...
201
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,560
says it's from
white chocolate. With cookies.
202
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,800
No, her voice quivered.
203
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,800
It's coming.
204
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,360
It's coming.
205
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,800
It came!
206
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,400
Wonderbra, you have a trauma
207
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,920
your brain forgot
and it's making your life hell.
208
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,320
We'll help you
remember it and overcome it.
209
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,000
Lady Gaga, Wonderbra is all yours.
210
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,000
Sounds like a blast.
211
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,880
One by one. Your turn, Co…
212
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,200
Where's the copilot?
213
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,040
I caught him trying to escape.
214
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,280
Petunias. I wanted to pick
petunias in the field and…
215
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,320
Tie him up with the girl.
216
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,960
That way, if he misbehaves again,
she can bite him.
217
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000
You rat!
218
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,440
My copilot's problem is
it's been more than two years
219
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,560
since he's talked to a woman.
220
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,280
It's coming. It's coming.
221
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,240
It came!
222
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:01,320
You, Copi, need a female friend
without sex getting in the way.
223
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,120
I'll leave you with Miss,
224
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,160
the girl
with the best areolas around here,
225
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,920
with regular supervision
by my darling L'Oreala.
226
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,000
And to finish your "therapee",
227
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,400
an irremovable device
that will keep you from running.
228
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:21,200
It's also a bomb
that counts how long you talk to a woman.
229
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:26,320
If you don't talk for 3 minutes
and 18 seconds in a week,
230
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,280
it will explode and we'll all die.
231
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,101
You're kidding, right?
232
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,080
I'm willing to climb in
to the wheel of truth.
233
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,800
Since we're going
to start with my therapy,
234
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
I just want to say I'm very happy.
235
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,000
I'm a five-time rally runner-up.
236
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,960
Today was my first competition
after seven years.
237
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,920
I'm sure you've seen me on TV.
238
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
They were telling jokes about...
239
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,320
Copi!
240
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,040
Lardo, it hurts
He's soul to have to tell you
241
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,120
that your problem
is the opposite of everyone else.
242
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:17,000
You were born so ugly
that your interior only affects 20%.
243
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,360
You're a mutant.
244
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,000
That's why I immediately decided
245
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,760
that Bonbon will try to make you an Adonis
246
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,000
with the help of aesthetics.
247
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,640
Does that mean I'm in?
248
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,360
That means that He
249
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,000
will only ask you this once.
250
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:39,080
Do you want to join my center?
251
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,720
Yes!
252
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000
Do you want to join my center?
253
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,000
- Yes.
- Do you want to join our center?
254
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,480
- Yes.
- Do you want to join our center?
255
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,000
I said yes!
256
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,080
Do you want to leave our center?
257
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,960
- No!
- Sorry, he didn't fall for it!
258
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,480
Do you want to join my center?
259
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,880
Yes.
260
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:10,880
Do you... want to... join my center?
261
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,080
Yes.
262
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:26,240
Alright, Lardo. Your wish is my command.
263
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:34,040
Now the three of you
are officially welcome
264
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,320
in my Xanadu of the senses.
265
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,000
You are welcome
to my technification center
266
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,120
for "beautee".
267
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,960
STEP 2: DISCOVER THE POSSIBILITIES
OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS
268
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,640
I'm a renowned journalist,
I shouldn't be covering sports!
269
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,280
Who cares if I didn't include
the winner's name in my story?
270
00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:00,080
He's Finnish
and his last name is impossible to spell!
271
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,320
No, no, I'm the one firing you!
272
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,600
I thought I heard you're a journalist.
273
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,040
Are you from the competition
here to offer me a job?
274
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:17,040
I accept. But I won't write obituaries!
275
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:20,120
No, I'm the number one fan
of Socrates del Bello.
276
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,800
He's number two.
277
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,440
We wanted to say very strange things
have happened in this rally.
278
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,160
Sounds like an exclusive. Spill, buddy.
279
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,800
Officially, they said he
pulled out because of a puncture...
280
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:34,040
in his foot, but he didn't reach the end.
281
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,080
What else, asshole?
282
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,080
Before the rally, we got his autograph.
283
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,520
“S.O.S.
Some Afro-Americans want to kidnap me."
284
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,240
I'd say he was playing a joke,
but the president is right there.
285
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,960
Don't forget she and Socrates are cousins.
286
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:56,440
I think I'll destroy her,
but first I'll make her sing.
287
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,000
Please stop whipping 180s on the track.
288
00:18:01,849 --> 00:18:03,600
Sorry, sir, you can't come in here.
289
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,280
If your boss doesn't mind
putting up with the cravings...
290
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,720
Sorry, I didn't know.
The president's dealers.
291
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,080
- The president's dealers.
- The president's dealers.
292
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,800
Your dealers.
293
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,560
- Finally.
- Hey, smarty pants,
294
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,640
tell me right now why you're covering up
your cousin's kidnapping
295
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,520
at the hands of an Afro-American
terrorist group or I'll hang myself.
296
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,120
What?
297
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,720
What a scandal,
the president's bodyguard is attacking
298
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,000
a renowned journalist!
299
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,000
Between you and me,
300
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,200
Socrates indeed
never reached the finish line.
301
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,080
But believe me, I know my cousin,
302
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:48,080
and halfway through
he may have decided to pick up hookers.
303
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,640
- What?
- Exactly. To stop rumors from spreading
304
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,240
about his mental health,
I chose to cover it up.
305
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,200
So forget about
this ridiculous jungle bunny conspiracy.
306
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,840
- What?
- What? I'm just talking like young people.
307
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,000
That way, I'll rise in the polls.
308
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:07,520
Or don't you colloquially say "beaners",
309
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:12,200
"chinks", "fucking towelheads"?
310
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,000
Fucking frogs.
311
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,360
It's because
I'm saying it wrong, right, Right Hand?
312
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:23,240
- And that young man is recording it all.
- Get that phone from that rat!
313
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,080
Posted!
314
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:36,040
Don't bother, like Anne Frank said.
315
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,440
He already told you it can't be removed.
316
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,320
Merci.
317
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,360
I've worked enough
on the angle trisection problem for today.
318
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:01,840
So why don't we start your therapy?
I have 12 free minutes.
319
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,080
Hooray!
320
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,840
Why don't we communicate in Rococo style?
321
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,720
I'll ask you a question
and if you hit me once, it means yes.
322
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,400
If you hit me twice, it means no.
323
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,280
Alright, man.
324
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,880
Let's start.
Have you been racing in rallies long?
325
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:30,280
No. Do you have
other hobbies, like cockfights
326
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,640
or girls?
327
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,320
So have you ever had a girlfriend?
328
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,600
I mean after age eight.
329
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,000
Have you been in love, even with your mom?
330
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,000
I wasn't going to ask about virginity.
331
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,520
So you wanted
to run away and abandon me here!
332
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,360
Stop, Lardo,
that shampoo won't work for you!
333
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:57,480
Shit.
334
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:00,400
The temple soireé is starting.
335
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,200
You can't miss He in his element.
336
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,000
So blessed be those who pretend.
337
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,400
Always show your teeth,
even if you're furious inside.
338
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,200
Beauty!
339
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,000
And be very careful with sincerity.
340
00:21:20,688 --> 00:21:22,440
- Or would it be ok...
- What's this?
341
00:21:22,847 --> 00:21:26,007
- ...to tell your colleague...
- You're looking chubby today!
342
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:31,280
Criticize them behind their backs when
they can't hear you, never to their face.
343
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,840
Be fake!
344
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,400
Beauty!
345
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,880
Each one of you... Like those who say...
346
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,954
I don't like it from behind, it hurts.
347
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:43,761
The Grandson doesn't ask
you eat through your sphincter,
348
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,920
only that you enjoy and let him enjoy!
349
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:48,560
Beauty!
350
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,160
Who is this grandson?
351
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:53,360
All the glands
you'll exercise with the Greek god!
352
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,000
Beauty! Beauty! Beauty!
353
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,800
Because he is the ruler
of the heavens for obedient girls,
354
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,320
lovely, lovely, which here on Earth
355
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,040
is our small and beautiful community.
356
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,000
He! He! He!
357
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,400
A pure satanic cult.
358
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,160
That asshole makes them
take drugs that cloud their reasoning.
359
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,640
I'll sacrifice myself
to see it first-hand.
360
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,160
In case we need proof.
361
00:22:56,160 --> 00:23:00,320
Until you're 18, forget about it.
Like you forgot about your trauma.
362
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,840
- What?
- Go on, get lost.
363
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,560
Get lost.
364
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:10,600
Move over, move.
365
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,280
Drug addict and dealer.
366
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,920
Look what you've become
thanks to this cult.
367
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,800
Don't you realize the only drug
you need is Socrates del Bello…
368
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:23,880
Junior?
369
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,080
Sorry, honey.
370
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,600
Keep it up, Lardo.
371
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,200
The therapy is doing wonders for you.
372
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,000
You're cooler.
373
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:52,640
Still a moron, but cooler.
374
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,160
Confirmed.
375
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,480
Chasing the dragon.
Top quality product from China.
376
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,640
A single hit can make you bipolar
377
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,680
and addicted to the cancan.
378
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,160
This is the best part.
379
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,000
There is a song.
380
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,720
A song written about something
that may seem strange these days,
381
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:30,240
but something very idealistic
and something I like.
382
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,000
It's a song written about fidelity.
383
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,880
Eternal fidelity at that.
384
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,920
It's a song that starts by saying…
385
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,000
There He goes!
386
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,840
I want to feel the heat of your skin
387
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,840
Never wake up
388
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,720
I want to live each second of you
389
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,120
- What's that asshole doing?
- And enjoy
390
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,160
You're everything I imagined
391
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,000
I couldn't live without your love
392
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,000
You're the one to make me laugh
393
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,240
You're the one to make me glad
394
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:14,240
You'll come back,
you'll come back, you'll come back
395
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,880
You'll come back to me
and always be inside me
396
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:27,000
Our love will be
a dream you'll never forget
397
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:34,440
I've always been faithful
to the touch of your skin
398
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,640
Because I know you're mine
399
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:41,040
Mine and nothing else
400
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:48,040
You'll come back,
you'll come back, you'll come back
401
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,320
Because I know you're mine
402
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Mine and nothing else
403
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,760
- Here, here!
- Me!
404
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,000
- Pick me!
- Here, me!
405
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:17,600
Later.
406
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,920
Rave!
407
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:30,320
The orgy is about to begin, Copi.
408
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,880
I would love to mingle amongst them
409
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,240
and slyly touch their erogenous areas.
410
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,760
They couldn't tell my hands from theirs,
411
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,000
look at this manicure.
412
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,000
But I've got work to do.
413
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,240
I have to confirm a suspicion
that will bring me closer to Nené.
414
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:49,320
If this goes well and turns into
an orgy, my phone is on.
415
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,800
Don't leave me here alone!
416
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:12,920
Why were you looking at me?
417
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,440
Why were you… looking at me?
418
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,760
You're pathetic, here alone,
drooling like a creep.
419
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,400
- At least dance.
- No.
420
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,320
No like dancing.
421
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,440
Is this to make me feel inferior?
422
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,880
Then you'll ask me to dance
so I'll think you really like me
423
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,040
and I'll blow you.
424
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,000
No way. Besides,
425
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,040
weren't you
incapable of talking to a woman?
426
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,280
I'm talking to you
because you still... a girl.
427
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,880
Maybe if I talk to you
longer than three minutes...
428
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,440
Darn, I thought that was acid.
429
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,560
Dance with me, my sweaty little friend.
430
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,520
You don't have to talk to dance.
431
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,720
- No.
- Yes!
432
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,400
Come on, use your wand.
433
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,680
He always speaks metaphorically.
434
00:28:31,809 --> 00:28:34,160
L'Oreala said
He used the Greek god to stimulate
435
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,000
our brain muscles using the classics.
436
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,640
- Greece. Capital: Athens.
- Bonbon!
437
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,000
What do you want,
little Lardo? I was learning.
438
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,360
I also want to learn more about the cult.
439
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,680
For example,
if He slept with that Pipi Langstrum...
440
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,080
Right now I can only think metaphorically.
441
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,760
Tell me or I'll stop waxing my scrotum.
442
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,200
We'll see what you tell He.
443
00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:01,240
Like He says, sex releases
happiness "endorphimones".
444
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,200
Plus, each round burns 560 calories.
445
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:05,560
Gross, of course.
446
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,000
So, the grandson
that prick was talking about...
447
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,160
He said his life
would be the Third Testament.
448
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,960
If the New Testament,
the second, was the son of God,
449
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,800
the third is about the grandson.
450
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,600
So that ass is cheating on Nené!
451
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,440
According to the Mayan calendar,
identical to ours,
452
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,960
every 24 hours, He chooses
a girl and gives her his gift.
453
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,120
But L'Oreala knows everything.
454
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,080
You'll come back to me
455
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,200
Things are getting messy.
456
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,920
He can choose two. What a pro!
457
00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:00,800
STEP 3: FIND INSPIRATION FROM YOUR MUSE
458
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Arabs and Latinos
putting a price on my head
459
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,200
after my unfortunate remarks.
460
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:13,040
China threatening
to organize bull fights for a euro.
461
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,840
And animal rights activists
demanding my resignation
462
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:21,800
for using speciest language
by calling that lizard a rat.
463
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,320
Those are who most worry me.
464
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,960
The polls confirm you've dropped 50%
465
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,120
among potential voters.
466
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,880
What can I do?
467
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,160
Apologize?
468
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,120
Well, maybe we can make them think
469
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,000
the recordings had cuts
470
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:49,960
and it was edited.
471
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,040
Edited?
472
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,800
Edited...
473
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:01,000
by the same people
who kidnapped a national icon
474
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,160
like Socrates del Bello!
475
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,560
I'm not following, Madam President.
476
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,760
Which country would it be
easiest to win a war against?
477
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,120
Costa Rica has no army.
478
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,656
- They have coconuts.
- Andorra.
479
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,840
- I discount shop there.
- Liechtenstein.
480
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,240
- That's not a country.
- Ethiopia.
481
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:21,800
Bingo!
482
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,120
Come on, purify, get thin.
483
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,000
That's why today is the…
484
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,720
WEEKLY VOMIT DAY
485
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,520
Good, Copi, good.
486
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,120
Jihad, bring me some coffee
to cover the taste of bile.
487
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:44,280
Any cream?
488
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,480
You don't think I can drink it black?
489
00:31:48,932 --> 00:31:51,400
You're puking more than me.
What will they think?
490
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,320
I don't understand why Nené
lets He cheat on her.
491
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:58,760
That asshole has made
them all his sex slaves.
492
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,040
How did He do it? I want that too.
493
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:05,000
According to you,
the tigress is so good and trusting
494
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,520
that maybe she thinks the sex
with the grandson is just a metaphor.
495
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,200
Was that you, Lardo?
496
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,400
I didn't know you could
purify and get so thin.
497
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,360
The aesthetic no-operation was a success.
498
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,760
You finally have the fingers
you've always wanted: even.
499
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,000
I think Copi has idealized
women to such a point
500
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:41,880
that he's unable to get close
to us because he thinks he's flawed.
501
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,120
Well, I'm no pinup girl.
502
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,600
If you only knew...
503
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,200
I'd better not tell you.
504
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:58,080
Come on, tell me. I'm your supervisor,
you can tell me anything.
505
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,520
Like that time you spent three days
crying because a man walked by
506
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,920
- and didn't look at your ass.
- It was in Nepal. He was a Sherpa.
507
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:09,960
Alright.
508
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:12,000
I…
509
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,160
once re-wore a dress.
510
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:16,800
Your nose is growing, Miss.
511
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,680
I've never...
512
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,040
That's it! That's it!
513
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:38,520
Do it in front of everyone to look
terrible and humiliatingly ridiculous.
514
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,000
You have to…
515
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,400
Sis!
516
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,000
I'd do anything for Copi… except that.
517
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,000
Plus, it was just a joke.
518
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,000
I'm funny, right?
519
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,000
- Sis!
- What the hell are you doing here, shrimp?
520
00:34:15,976 --> 00:34:17,632
What do you mean what am I doing?
521
00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:22,000
I've traveled 100,000 kilometers
with this Chinese guy I've never met
522
00:34:22,398 --> 00:34:24,000
because I was worried about you!
523
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:29,080
Your friend Chollas told Dad
that you were really weird one day
524
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,440
and decided to come here.
525
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,720
That day, this Chinese guy showed up at
the house and thanks to Google Translate,
526
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,550
we realized he was looking for you.
527
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,760
Please, come home.
528
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,480
Since you left, Mom won't drink water.
529
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,720
And Dad won't paint landscapes,
only bowler hats.
530
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:55,000
Maybe they'll help you figure out
what happened and get over your trauma.
531
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,640
Jason was my son
and today is his birthday.
532
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,760
If the four of us play a game, I swear
on my clitoris I'll leave you alone.
533
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,800
The importance of smelling good…
534
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,040
They're all in the temple.
535
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,000
- Do we really have to do this?
- Yes, Caviar.
536
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:22,640
There's no other solution.
537
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,280
What's this?
538
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,560
I don't get it,
this should have knocked you out.
539
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,240
You should have lost consciousness!
540
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,000
And you still beat me in a fight?
541
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,280
I'll have to turn
to hypnosis to get you in the car.
542
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:51,280
Happy?
543
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,000
I beat you.
Now you and I are going to talk alone.
544
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:07,040
Friends, what you're going to experience
is not for the faint of heart.
545
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,400
Those who are easily influenced,
546
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:13,480
you leave as well.
547
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:18,440
Alright.
548
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:21,640
I am only doing…
549
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,160
what L'Oreala told me to.
550
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,880
A giant chocolate cake!
551
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,040
Chocolate and foie gras.
552
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,000
Why would she show us
a cake if she knows we can't eat it?
553
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,080
I've got it!
554
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:47,000
It's testing our commitment
to the community and beauty.
555
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:51,680
That's it! My God, get that chalice
of fine Swiss chocolate away from us!
556
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,360
- What the hell. I'm going to eat it.
- What?
557
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,680
Me too, I'm starving.
558
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,120
I once got an abortion
to maintain my figure.
559
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:02,800
And I'm not leaving a single crumb!
560
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,000
- Get back!
- What's our idol doing?
561
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,200
I've got it again!
562
00:37:18,888 --> 00:37:22,240
She's so perfect she doesn't want
the girls to eat the cake and sin.
563
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,360
Good, Influencer, now rip out her eye!
564
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,000
Look, I'll eat half
and you can have three fourths.
565
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,440
She's going to destroy it!
That's it, down with temptation!
566
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,000
Make it disappear
with the magic of your beauty!
567
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,320
She took it literally.
568
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:29,200
Miss…
569
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,480
Miss isn't perfect.
570
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,760
I'm sorry I resorted
to violence to talk to you,
571
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,000
but you wouldn't agree
if I got on my knees.
572
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,160
Like when you refused
my marriage proposal, also on my knees.
573
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,000
- I was 12 and 3 months.
- Yeah, but I wasn't.
574
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:55,120
Ok, I admit that you were
the second biggest mistake in my life.
575
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:59,280
But we also had fun. We went to the fair,
I taught you to play hockey.
576
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,000
And you got mad when I won.
577
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,440
Don't you get that that was all impure?
578
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,880
No, no. I know about doing
impure things and that wasn't it.
579
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,000
I just ran my finger down your back.
580
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,000
Miss!
581
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,440
I don't know what you're doing here.
582
00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:17,520
Is the outside world better,
583
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:21,200
with wars, savage capitalism,
kids risking their lives on small boats?
584
00:39:23,546 --> 00:39:26,000
I thought you'd say
risking their lives on skates.
585
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,120
Let me go! It took years
of therapy to forget your whispers!
586
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,200
- "Blossom."
- I don't believe you forgot me.
587
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,000
Haven't you followed me on TV?
588
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,520
I heard about you being the runner-up.
589
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,200
I only saw one competition
590
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,400
and you made
a tetraplegic lose 50,000 euros.
591
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,360
You and my stomach will be the end of me.
592
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:53,000
Go to the infirmary,
I'll give you miraculous blue pills
593
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,000
recommended for assholes.
594
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,840
Ok, you've given me no choice,
I'll just drop the bomb.
595
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,440
He's cheating with other girls.
596
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,240
I also let off steam with the other girls.
597
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:08,240
It's normal, I'm a model.
That's my relationship with He.
598
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:09,840
You whore!
599
00:40:19,240 --> 00:40:21,800
Let's see how you explain this
to your happy world.
600
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:29,800
STEP 4: FIND FOLLOWERS
AND AN OUTSIDE ENEMY THAT JOINS THE GROUP
601
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,560
Just an impartial host,
602
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,880
I didn't make such statements.
603
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:36,840
It was an Ethiopian.
604
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:41,000
If you don't believe me, I'll show you
the video the intelligence agency
605
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,480
managed to uncover. Roll the tape!
606
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:48,800
Beaners, chinks, fucking towelheads.
607
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,320
Fucking frogs.
608
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,000
Chilling. And what might that mean?
609
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:57,000
It means my cousin was kidnapped
by the Ethiopian government
610
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:58,880
to get a ransom from us.
611
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,640
To pressure me,
they created this smear campaign.
612
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,000
They want 20 billion to release him.
613
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,520
I told them to find someone else
614
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,012
- to end hunger in their country.
- As they should.
615
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:14,800
So listen closely,
you savage Ethiopians:
616
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:16,960
you either release my cousin
617
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:18,560
or Spain,
618
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,280
Spain,
619
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,920
will go to war with you. Publicity!
620
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,000
Holy shit.
621
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:28,000
- That's horrible.
- Yeah.
622
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:30,360
I'll never get used to my voice on tape.
623
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:35,160
But don't worry, I'm not mad
about what you said. I'm a Buddhist.
624
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:37,299
I meant if we can just find Socrates,
625
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,017
the president will stop all this.
626
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:40,960
You don't buy her theory?
627
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,760
We were there
talking to her, not an Ethiopian.
628
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,040
I didn't see it coming.
629
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,880
We have to comb
the area where he disappeared
630
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,040
and figure out if
he was really kidnapped or abducted.
631
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:53,000
Bullshit!
632
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,360
What we have to do
is comb the area where he disappeared
633
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,720
and figure out if he was kidnapped…
634
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,000
or abducted. Right, Nancy?
635
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:09,000
Abducted by
a couple Afro-American extraterrestrials.
636
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,160
That's it.
637
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,080
Don't try to talk.
638
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,800
It's a miracle you're alive.
You were very lucky.
639
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,360
You call this luck?
640
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,080
The accident affected your face.
641
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,880
I saved what I could, like your nose,
642
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,640
but I can't guarantee
what you'll look like.
643
00:42:58,875 --> 00:43:00,328
Does she need mouth to mouth?
644
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,840
Although it deeply hurts He,
645
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,200
depending on how
you look with the bandages off,
646
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,520
you can either stay
at the center or c’est fini.
647
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:16,360
Someone please cover her back up
before the off-white
648
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,160
destroys my eyes forever!
649
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,480
Poor Miss.
It's the worst blow she could take.
650
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,920
No. Not knowing if she's disfigured
or not gets me so hot.
651
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,640
When my punishment's lifted,
I think I'll fuck her.
652
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:40,760
You...
653
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:43,800
Nené and I are on a break right now.
654
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,400
By the way, she knew
He was cheating, but she's still hooked.
655
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,160
That's because He is using black magic.
656
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:54,920
To get her out of here,
657
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,320
I have to become the new He.
658
00:43:58,490 --> 00:44:01,840
Nené will admire me and fall back
in love with me. Brilliant, right?
659
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,920
Record. He's speechless. Stop.
660
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:11,040
Girls, Chinese dude,
the game consists of spinning the bottle
661
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,520
and confessing to the person it lands on.
662
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,360
A secret.
663
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,520
This will help to uncover
what's hidden in our subconscious.
664
00:44:19,768 --> 00:44:22,720
- Where did you study psychology?
- How about confessing lies?
665
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,880
- If there's no other option...
- Sold.
666
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,800
Great! Making love to you is so quick.
667
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,600
Get up, get up, get up!
668
00:44:52,240 --> 00:44:53,400
Strange, isn't it?
669
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,880
He sent you to me
knowing you couldn't resist me.
670
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,920
If He loves you so much, why did He do it?
671
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:04,920
Maybe it was a bet?
672
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,960
And why would He insist
that Miss is the perfect one
673
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,080
when you are much better, Bonbon?
674
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,360
- Because of euthanasia?
- No.
675
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,960
Because of favoritism!
676
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,520
When He sings and looks at you,
his face always changes,
677
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,560
as if you disgusted him.
678
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,760
He gives you more food to make you fat
679
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,000
to give him a reason
to kick you to the curb.
680
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:39,440
Thanks.
681
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,400
- Hey, a gypsy!
- A what?
682
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,880
Not just you,
He'll kick all the girls out.
683
00:45:51,544 --> 00:45:54,000
Because deep down,
He set this up to fuck you over
684
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,920
because He hates pretty girls.
He's a repressed gay
685
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,000
who learned his techniques
from the worst gays:
686
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,640
Gorbachev, Sai Baba, Gandhi...
687
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,400
India. Capital: New Delhi.
688
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:13,520
And He makes you believe you're happy
so later the fall will be harder.
689
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,080
- He's the worst son of a B there is.
- Yes.
690
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,640
What He doesn't know
is that with your help,
691
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,920
we'll be the ones fucking him over.
692
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:26,600
Give me a minute.
693
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:32,560
Come on, learn
to communicate with each other.
694
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:36,360
It's the first step to contact an ET
695
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,040
that can use its advanced "technologee"
696
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,320
to delay our aging.
697
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,680
He, can I do telepathy with you?
698
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,920
Lardo only thinks about dirty things.
699
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,280
Fine.
700
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:59,440
But give me a hint
what you'll be thinking.
701
00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:10,240
I've got you.
702
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:16,240
What's that? You're a cryogenic Nazi...
703
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:18,480
What?
704
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:21,640
…who sold nuclear weapons
to the Dalai Lama?
705
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:26,040
I think Bonbon has established
telepathic contact with He's subconscious!
706
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:30,000
What? You'll soon be sending us home
707
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,480
and replacing us with transvestites?
708
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:36,840
Neither I nor my subconscious
have ever thought that!
709
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,680
- Come back, Bonbon!
- What's this about a dog and its nipple?
710
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,560
- A what's the melted cheese for?
- Melted cheese?
711
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,760
He just hit a single woman!
712
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,760
No, I… I just wanted to wake her up.
713
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:56,040
Her telepathic connection must have been
intercepted by a lying spirit!
714
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,440
What, nobody believes in lying spirits?
715
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,360
Or Kunta Kinte?
716
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,080
Forgive me, Bonbon.
717
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:18,600
Let's begin.
718
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:21,600
I…
719
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,000
I never fought
with my dad on a daily basis.
720
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:30,880
So I never started
going out with Lee, a Chinese guy,
721
00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:32,400
to hurt him.
722
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,600
I never surprisingly fell in love with Lee
723
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,520
or lost my virginity
and a coin purse to him.
724
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,840
But since I didn't manage
to piss him off enough,
725
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:50,760
I never went and flirted with
my Chinese boyfriend's Chinese dad.
726
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,720
And I never cheated
on my boyfriend with this guy here,
727
00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:00,000
who went nuts
and wanted to eat his own hand
728
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:01,800
after what happened to his...
729
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,640
Lee never found out about me cheating.
730
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,280
That's why Lee…
731
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:12,800
never killed himself.
732
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:15,760
That reminds me of a story.
733
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,760
Quiet, shut up!
734
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,160
He never killed himself
on the way to school,
735
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:25,280
without stopping at the ice-cream stand
and getting hit by a school bus.
736
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:28,000
Then
737
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:31,000
it was an accident, not suicide.
738
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,560
It would have been
if he'd stopped for ice-cream
739
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,000
like always. But if he didn't stop,
740
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,720
it means he wanted
to jump in front of the bus ASAP!
741
00:49:43,240 --> 00:49:44,440
That's why…
742
00:49:45,999 --> 00:49:47,439
I never want to die.
743
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:58,000
Snot.
744
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,160
It's clear He's primitive essence
is starting to come out.
745
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,640
I suspect that Grandson is actually
746
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,000
Satan himself.
747
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:13,640
Why are you on that podium?
748
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:17,840
Podium? Dodium? Lodium? Urbodium?
749
00:50:18,240 --> 00:50:20,120
Nothing makes sense to me anymore.
750
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,400
It's the only place in the center
751
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:25,040
where you can't see
your reflection in a mirror.
752
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:32,000
I came to see if you wanted to come with
to light this candle for my grandfather
753
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,080
so he performs the miracle
of maintaining your perfect face.
754
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:39,880
But here,
755
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,800
you are the only goddess. So...
756
00:50:46,935 --> 00:50:49,639
I think He wants to perform
a satanic ritual with Miss.
757
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:54,280
Goddess,
I ask that you continue to be perfect
758
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,840
or my world will go to hell.
759
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:58,880
Amen.
760
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:04,400
Not being able to see your perfection
has made me lose my balance.
761
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:06,040
Amen.
762
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:09,075
Perhaps my mistake was looking for beauty
763
00:51:09,126 --> 00:51:11,129
in something fleeting like humans. Amen.
764
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,000
Perhaps true beauty is in objects
765
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:16,960
like that table... that's red.
766
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:21,000
Or in the flame
of this candle. Shit, that's hot!
767
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,400
He's burning the commune! Run!
768
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,160
No, no, no!
769
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:27,120
Back you pyromaniac!
770
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:34,200
Take me, I'm yours!
771
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:40,640
Are you ok, Miss?
772
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:43,840
Did He harass you
or masturbate in front of you?
773
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:45,440
You scum!
774
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:47,760
- No, she said no.
- Exactly.
775
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,920
He normally masturbates
when He's alone with us.
776
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,000
But now that she's a monster...
777
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,520
If this happens again,
you're out of here, degenerate.
778
00:51:57,680 --> 00:51:59,680
You can't kick me out of my own home.
779
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,640
Or do you all agree with Lardo?
780
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:05,560
Right now, yes. A while ago, no.
781
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,120
Who's telling us what to think now?
782
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,360
- Me!
- This can't be.
783
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:13,760
Are you ok, Miss?
784
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:15,440
Should I masturbate?
785
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,760
Just to raise your self-esteem.
786
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:21,200
Poor girl's a mess.
787
00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:33,160
He hit her with those hooked knuckles.
788
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,360
And He tried to burn the center, by day!
789
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,080
It's Miss… by day!
790
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,360
Miss… went to great lengths
for you to get over your problem.
791
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,000
So she told me her secret.
792
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,880
She could never resist
a chocolate and foie gras cake.
793
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:03,760
If you found out,
you'd realize not all women are perfect.
794
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:10,160
But she couldn't tell you and I made sure
you all found out to help you,
795
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:12,920
not because I was jealous of her.
796
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:17,000
Now something tells me
you are the only one who can help her.
797
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:23,000
What?
798
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:28,241
Guys! I used to teach deaf-mutes.
799
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:30,374
Maybe I can understand you and translate.
800
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:32,920
Nope, no clue.
801
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Hey, I also used to teach retards.
802
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,120
Maybe now.
803
00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:42,480
This is ridiculous?
804
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,120
You got it!
805
00:53:46,090 --> 00:53:48,746
Now I've seen it all...
What did you want to tell me?
806
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,640
That I'm just some nobody.
807
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:58,000
But you can give her the love
and understanding her housemates won't.
808
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:03,000
And will you give that idiot Socrates
love and understanding?
809
00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:08,000
For the fifth year, del Bello
came up short for the world championship.
810
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:10,880
Some bad luck
has once again kept him from winning,
811
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,120
making him the butt of rim jokes.
812
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:14,160
There he is!
813
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:17,880
What happened?
814
00:54:18,240 --> 00:54:20,680
I was about to finish and a goat ran out.
815
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,875
That's the second time
the same goat has run out on me.
816
00:54:23,926 --> 00:54:26,476
- There are no goats in Copenhagen!
- A lemming maybe?
817
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:30,120
It's a worldwide conspiracy
to keep me from taking first.
818
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:32,360
Winning means being an opinion leader,
819
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:35,160
which means credibility to unmask
820
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:36,920
those controlling the sport!
821
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:38,640
But I beat them.
822
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:41,640
This time I killed the goat!
823
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,640
Tonight, we're having roasted goatfish.
824
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,920
That's actually just a fish, but anyway…
825
00:54:47,993 --> 00:54:51,547
Any words for those who say
so many near wins are affecting your head?
826
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:53,280
They're the crazy ones.
827
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:54,880
But I'll warn them
828
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:57,000
that I've trained,
829
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,720
I'll remember each of your faces.
830
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:04,160
I'll remember each of your license plates.
831
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:09,320
There are no goats in Copenhagen, dammit!
There never have been!
832
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,120
Why would they put a goat in Copenhagen?
833
00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:15,520
It cost a kidney's worth
of witch doctors to get rid of the curse
834
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:16,720
in case that was why.
835
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,640
Those witch doctors, who were also seers,
836
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,560
told me I'd soon
win back the second love of my life.
837
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:25,560
Is that true?
838
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,000
No.
839
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:32,160
So you didn't follow me, huh?
You disconnected from me.
840
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:37,080
I have an alert
every time a video of you pops up.
841
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:40,440
I was looking through them.
842
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,866
I got chills
seeing what you did on that cooking show.
843
00:55:44,917 --> 00:55:46,320
I didn't know you had Wi-Fi.
844
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:52,000
He banned computers so we aren't
contaminated by the outside world.
845
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:54,600
But you know I'm a bad girl.
846
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:56,000
I'll fight for you.
847
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,200
Today, I planted the seed.
848
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:02,480
Tomorrow will be the final leg.
I'm going to win this race, Nené.
849
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,000
I admit that despite everything,
we had our moments.
850
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:12,640
But Jack the Ripper
has a better chance with me than you do.
851
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:14,440
Your voice quivered.
852
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:16,280
What?
853
00:56:17,336 --> 00:56:18,440
Nothing, it's just me.
854
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:26,520
STEP 5: COLLECTIVE CATHARSIS
AND THE FINAL SACRIFICE
855
00:56:29,736 --> 00:56:31,345
Where are you, Madam President?
856
00:56:31,556 --> 00:56:35,840
Public opinion is going nuts
with the war proclamation.
857
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:40,560
We're getting non-stop calls from
Washington, Berlin, even your hairdresser.
858
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:46,000
I needed to get away from it all,
so I'm in my usual spot.
859
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,720
What? Holy shit!
860
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,840
Since they know I always duck out,
861
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,320
no journalist will ever look for me here.
862
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:57,160
And definitely not my hairdresser.
He never leaves the salon.
863
00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,480
How are the polls?
864
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,800
Your lies won over the military
865
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:06,600
and the most patriotic sector.
You're up five points.
866
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,960
But the rest of the country
hates you even more.
867
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:11,520
Five points?
868
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:15,600
I bet if we win the war,
my popularity will explode like champagne.
869
00:57:16,224 --> 00:57:18,280
Do you really want to go to that extreme?
870
00:57:18,584 --> 00:57:20,440
Millions of innocent people will die.
871
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:23,720
I have a wife and two neighbors.
872
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,760
Nobody is innocent
in this life, Right Hand.
873
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:31,960
So if they haven't released
Socrates by 12 p.m. today...
874
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:33,920
Boom.
875
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,800
How can they release him
if they don't have him?
876
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:40,840
That's not my problem!
877
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:42,440
Madam President…
878
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Boom.
879
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:03,360
Don't you want to see me?
880
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:06,520
I can at least talk a little.
881
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,240
Your therapy is working, Doctor Miss.
882
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,680
So not even you see me as a woman,
883
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,040
only an imperfect monster.
884
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:18,880
You know what?
885
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:22,560
To be perfect, it's best
for the rest of your body to match.
886
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,280
What do you mean?
Perfection is impossible!
887
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:30,000
It should be!
888
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,560
Then I wouldn't have dropped that spoon
889
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:37,440
and my boyfriend
wouldn't have cheated on me!
890
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:39,720
Eyes to match!
891
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:43,560
Oh God, no!
892
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:47,600
Always remember they once called me Miss.
893
00:58:52,076 --> 00:58:55,584
Can I tell you something not even
the priest at catholic school knows?
894
00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:58,880
Father Damian.
895
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,000
I...
896
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,080
inside this pitiful body…
897
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,040
also have a small flaw.
898
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:12,840
I, inside this pitiful body...
899
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:14,640
Thanks, but she understood me.
900
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,000
- I'm fired just when it gets good?
- Out!
901
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:19,000
Ungrateful stutterer…
902
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:28,720
What's your flaw?
903
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:31,400
I, Copi...
904
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:37,760
have testicles that are
disproportionately large for my legs.
905
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:40,960
I don't believe you,
906
00:59:41,959 --> 00:59:44,060
you're just trying to make me feel better.
907
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,440
See? And it's fine.
908
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,160
Well…
909
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:06,640
I…
910
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,680
have one boob
that's lower than the other.
911
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:16,000
I don't believe you,
you're just trying to make me feel better.
912
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:35,840
It's true, you have
one boob that's lower than the other.
913
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,640
But they're
the most perfectly imperfect boobs
914
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:45,840
I've ever seen.
915
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:48,440
You asshole!
916
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,560
Go to hell, buddy. Take a right up there.
917
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:54,840
That's how you talk
in rallies, right? Get lost, buddy.
918
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:58,480
Why does she hate me so much?
919
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:02,200
Copi, you still
have a lot to learn about women!
920
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:07,000
Shit, I forgot about the device.
There's 20 seconds left.
921
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:10,280
- How long have I been talking to you?
- I don't know!
922
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:12,680
I told you about the secret no one knows,
923
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,000
then my pitiful body and my weird balls.
924
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,000
Thirty seconds.
925
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:18,360
We got naked, I saw your boobs.
926
01:01:18,756 --> 01:01:19,960
One minute, ten seconds.
927
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:22,215
We hugged, I got hard,
Wonderbra interrupted.
928
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:24,440
Oh, Wonderbra… Two minutes, five seconds.
929
01:01:24,672 --> 01:01:26,552
Plus this time I've been talking.
930
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:30,520
Crap.
931
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:34,720
What the...
932
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:39,680
Don't tell me you bought my bomb metaphor.
933
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:42,000
You're dumb.
934
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:45,160
Then why did the alarm
go off when I tried to run?
935
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:47,320
And why was it irremovable?
936
01:01:47,571 --> 01:01:50,173
It must have coincided
with the bell to go to temple.
937
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:54,440
The irremovable thing was
all in your head. It's just an old lock.
938
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:59,560
It is indeed irremovable.
You'll wear it to the grave.
939
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:03,760
In any case,
congratulations. You're cured.
940
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:08,000
Now I'm the sick one.
941
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,800
I suppose
I should be happy after all this.
942
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:21,200
What?
943
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:24,000
What?
944
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:27,000
Now, after
945
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:30,440
seeing you naked, I'm the one stuttering.
946
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:38,520
Do your muscles feel
more relaxed for the final leg?
947
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:44,000
After tonight, He will wish
He'd been born in an aquarium.
948
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:46,240
Aquarium, aquarium.
949
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:48,000
I've got a plan B anyway.
950
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:50,494
Where did you get that?
951
01:02:50,545 --> 01:02:54,000
The center's black market.
With luck, you can get off-season bikinis.
952
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:56,360
Control yourself
or you'll screw up the plan.
953
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:01,440
- Massage me with your boobs.
- With both of them?
954
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:03,840
Yes.
955
01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:08,160
Oh, much better.
956
01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:12,880
Wonderbra, I think there's a note for you!
957
01:03:19,159 --> 01:03:22,999
"Wonderbra,
I'll meet you in the art gallery at six.
958
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:24,520
Signed..."
959
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:26,280
God?
960
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:41,560
Why are you hiding there, He?
961
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:45,000
No! I'm Danonina!
962
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:50,000
Is this because of what happened
yesterday with Bonbon and that silly fire?
963
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:54,360
I've failed them! What if
I'm not actually the chosen one?
964
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:56,840
Or I'm only a little chosen.
965
01:03:57,320 --> 01:04:01,000
Come on, He. No one can handle
the pressure of dozens of girls
966
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,680
and two rally drivers
with no sense of aesthetics
967
01:04:03,945 --> 01:04:06,440
devoting their lives to you
without any mistakes.
968
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,400
But you're still their beacon.
They need you.
969
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:12,520
Sing "You'll come back"
tonight like never before
970
01:04:12,656 --> 01:04:14,160
and you'll regain their trust.
971
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:19,600
Do you really think that
or are you laughing under your breath?
972
01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:23,240
I still believe in you. You're handsome.
973
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:29,880
You're right.
974
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:33,720
You're right, you're right.
975
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:36,480
You'll come back!
976
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:44,000
I'll show them this beacon
can still guide humanity
977
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:46,200
through its darkest nights.
978
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:50,960
But first, tell me…
979
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:56,960
Has my suffering
given me a wrinkle on my bad side?
980
01:04:57,568 --> 01:04:59,680
Your skin's still soft as a baby's bottom.
981
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:03,080
I love you too, L'Ore.
982
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:10,440
By the way,
is such a kitsch Band-Aid legal?
983
01:05:11,520 --> 01:05:12,520
I know.
984
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:18,120
Perhaps you have cancer and give yourself
morphine injections for the pain
985
01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:21,000
and then cover it up so we won't find out?
986
01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:23,600
A ten for imagination.
987
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,040
It wouldn't be a stretch mark, would it?
988
01:05:28,720 --> 01:05:31,000
A ten for sixth sense.
989
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:33,120
Why are you doing this to me?
990
01:05:33,827 --> 01:05:37,040
- What's going wrong in your inner life?
- Age is a cruel mistress.
991
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,000
I turn 35 today.
992
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:42,000
And it looks like
there's no surprise party.
993
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:46,000
Can't you see
you're forcing me to kick you to the curb?
994
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:47,000
Excuse me?
995
01:05:47,240 --> 01:05:51,280
The rules are clear: girls
in the community can't have stretch marks.
996
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:54,720
They aren't pretty.
And they could become popular.
997
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:57,320
I might have to set an age limit.
998
01:05:58,000 --> 01:05:59,920
The maximum will be 35.
999
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,920
I can't see myself rubbing cream
on an old bag in my pool.
1000
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:05,360
After everything
we've been through together,
1001
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:07,880
even that tax thing,
1002
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:11,600
- that's your final word?
- No! My final word is…
1003
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:17,520
Fine. I'll take the bandages off Miss
1004
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:20,760
and pack my bags
so you can kick me to the curb.
1005
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:24,240
No, no. Try to communicate telepathically
with the stretch mark.
1006
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:28,000
Disappear, disappear.
1007
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:31,000
L'Ore! L'Ore, don't go!
1008
01:06:31,089 --> 01:06:33,644
Don't leave me like this,
I'll have a heart attack!
1009
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:36,920
It's coming, it's coming!
1010
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:44,200
God?
1011
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:50,480
Is this a good time
or should I come back later?
1012
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:01,400
I'm just giving you what you want.
1013
01:07:18,640 --> 01:07:21,280
Welcome to the gates of heaven.
1014
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:26,680
I can't let you in
until you're cleansed of all sins.
1015
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:30,000
I am, however,
offering you an opportunity.
1016
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:33,880
Tell that ex of yours
what you couldn't tell him in life
1017
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:37,760
and earn his forgiveness as well as mine.
1018
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:40,000
Is that you, Lee?
1019
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:44,280
- Yes.
- Jesus, you learned Spanish!
1020
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:48,880
Well, I wanted to tell you that…
1021
01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:52,000
since you've been gone,
1022
01:07:52,920 --> 01:07:55,400
there isn't a moment
I haven't thought about you
1023
01:07:56,602 --> 01:07:58,680
and the pirouettes you did on the tatami.
1024
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:03,000
But you know what, selfish ass?
You ruined my life by killing yourself.
1025
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:06,080
Nothing justifies suicide! I would know...
1026
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:10,000
because I thought about it many times.
1027
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:15,000
Four times.
1028
01:08:17,968 --> 01:08:19,720
So besides asking your forgiveness…
1029
01:08:20,865 --> 01:08:22,920
I ask that you let me forgive myself too.
1030
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,000
One more thing.
1031
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:31,320
Do you know where I left my khaki pants?
1032
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:42,120
The gates of heaven are open to you...
1033
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:51,920
What?
1034
01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:56,600
…but it will be a long time
before you enter, sis.
1035
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:57,880
Yes!
1036
01:09:01,328 --> 01:09:03,888
Go to hell, you fucking bitch!
1037
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:06,320
- Sis!
- Get her off me! Get her off me!
1038
01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:13,760
“When making love,
I'm too accommodating with my partner."
1039
01:09:14,520 --> 01:09:16,000
- That's right, isn't it?
- Yes.
1040
01:09:16,677 --> 01:09:18,680
Until you break your arm and get a cast,
1041
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:24,000
- you don't have room for more defects.
- I bet you tell all the girls that, silly.
1042
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:26,760
It's time, Miss.
1043
01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:30,120
It will be ok.
1044
01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:33,760
Just remember
that if worse comes to worst,
1045
01:09:33,880 --> 01:09:36,200
some guys are more interesting with scars.
1046
01:09:37,960 --> 01:09:39,000
What about women?
1047
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:45,720
Let's see.
1048
01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:13,800
I'm a monster, right?
1049
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:18,000
You're... exactly the same.
Not a single scar!
1050
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:19,360
Huh?
1051
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:29,320
I can see thousands.
1052
01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:31,960
And I'm fatter!
1053
01:10:33,040 --> 01:10:37,000
It's just... Lipoweski syndrome.
1054
01:10:38,992 --> 01:10:41,842
You spent so long
thinking you'd have scars
1055
01:10:41,897 --> 01:10:44,000
that your subconscious makes you see them.
1056
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:50,160
Don't worry,
you'll soon see what you really look like.
1057
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:55,280
You mean I'm being controlled,
like Copi with his device?
1058
01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:56,920
Textbook Lipoweski!
1059
01:10:57,040 --> 01:11:00,320
It's impossible for you
to have scars because the accident
1060
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:02,000
never caused any damage.
1061
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:04,000
Then why did you bandage me?
1062
01:11:04,704 --> 01:11:07,760
I had to prepare you
for when you aren't young and beautiful.
1063
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:10,480
I see you passed the tes...
1064
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:14,000
You never read the science books?
1065
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:16,920
Not even the mushroom ones? Honey...
1066
01:11:17,320 --> 01:11:20,040
I just memorized
the title and number of pages.
1067
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:25,240
Since all that matters... mattered
in my world were appearances.
1068
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:31,040
My happiness was a rhythmic hair flip.
1069
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:35,880
Thanks for the lesson, bitch.
1070
01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:39,000
You're welcome, Lipoweski.
1071
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:44,040
- She's coming...
- Copi!
1072
01:11:45,120 --> 01:11:47,000
I'm so happy for you!
1073
01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:51,000
I'm talking to you
and you're still the number one beauty!
1074
01:11:51,392 --> 01:11:55,872
I couldn't be happier.
And now it's your turn to be happy too.
1075
01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:58,000
Right now? I left the stove on.
1076
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,720
I'm finally free to accept
1077
01:12:02,800 --> 01:12:06,200
that I'm in love again, oh yeah.
1078
01:12:06,760 --> 01:12:11,000
In love with a guy
a thousand times more imperfect than me.
1079
01:12:11,680 --> 01:12:15,320
These past few days
by your side, I've discovered
1080
01:12:15,440 --> 01:12:18,000
that not all men are the same.
1081
01:12:18,120 --> 01:12:20,520
What do you mean?
I'm the same as everyone else.
1082
01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:23,520
Come on, you're not alone anymore.
1083
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:26,840
It's true, I'm in love... with Lady Gaga!
1084
01:12:28,240 --> 01:12:29,240
With L'Oreala!
1085
01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:31,480
With Caviar?
1086
01:12:32,440 --> 01:12:34,000
Bonbon, Socrates, Wonderbra.
1087
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,760
I saw how you looked at Wonderbra.
1088
01:12:40,920 --> 01:12:42,360
- You did?
- Yes.
1089
01:12:42,800 --> 01:12:46,640
So it's clear
that I'm in love with that girl?
1090
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:50,360
When it comes to love,
she's light years ahead of you.
1091
01:12:50,480 --> 01:12:52,800
You don't need to constantly remind me.
1092
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:57,040
What I don't get
is why she was the only one
1093
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:58,400
I could talk to.
1094
01:12:58,600 --> 01:13:01,520
Like He says, life isn't just cut and dry.
1095
01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:03,234
Well, that's not his best line.
1096
01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:07,760
So, do you think
I should take a chance with Wonderbra?
1097
01:13:08,840 --> 01:13:09,840
Yes.
1098
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:12,240
No?
1099
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,200
So you and I…
1100
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,440
Do you still have your M-A-R-K?
1101
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:51,000
Don't think about that now.
It's my final "You'll come back"
1102
01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:52,400
and I want to enjoy it.
1103
01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:56,240
Go, get out there
and show them all who you are.
1104
01:13:58,000 --> 01:13:59,000
Ok.
1105
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,160
There is a song.
1106
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:11,560
A song written about something
that may seem strange these days,
1107
01:14:12,560 --> 01:14:14,280
but something very idealistic
1108
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:17,080
and something I like.
1109
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:20,920
It's a song written about fidelity.
1110
01:14:21,104 --> 01:14:22,360
Eternal fidelity at that.
1111
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,000
It's a song that starts by saying…
1112
01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:36,080
I want to feel the heat of your skin
1113
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:39,880
Never wake up
1114
01:14:40,440 --> 01:14:43,440
I want to live each second of you
1115
01:14:45,560 --> 01:14:47,120
And enjoy
1116
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:49,000
What?
1117
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:55,800
I want to fly
and for my mind to feel free...
1118
01:14:55,880 --> 01:14:57,600
Lardo's time has come.
1119
01:14:58,760 --> 01:15:04,440
I want to go back to that book
I invaded, extracting its honesty…
1120
01:15:04,560 --> 01:15:06,560
Women are won over with humor.
1121
01:15:09,560 --> 01:15:11,440
Immortal…
1122
01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:14,000
He's insane.
1123
01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:16,000
No answer will shut me up
1124
01:15:17,399 --> 01:15:21,799
I can disappear,
I can make them explode
1125
01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:26,480
Endure their truth
1126
01:15:28,040 --> 01:15:30,920
In my bag
1127
01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:35,200
There's a pair of balls and a cannon…
1128
01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:39,880
Socra…
1129
01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:45,360
What are you looking at, asshole?
1130
01:15:46,040 --> 01:15:48,160
I could ask the same about you, doodoodoo!
1131
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:53,000
Of all the hot girls in the center,
1132
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:55,000
why do I have to look at you, Wonderbra?
1133
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:01,880
And I come to an all-girl commune
so I don't fall in love again
1134
01:16:01,960 --> 01:16:05,200
and destroy anyone's life,
but I fall in love at first sight.
1135
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:10,280
Dammit, why am I so turned on
by sweaty guys?
1136
01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:12,480
What do I do now?
1137
01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:17,080
Get involved with some girl
who will try to dominate... and fuck me?
1138
01:16:18,120 --> 01:16:22,120
This ends here if I'm not behind
the wheel and you're the Copi... lot.
1139
01:16:22,440 --> 01:16:26,480
You fall in love and finally grow a pair.
I hate you so much, weirdo.
1140
01:16:26,720 --> 01:16:28,920
I hate you more, an... al.
1141
01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:32,000
There!
1142
01:16:40,320 --> 01:16:43,400
I don't want to meet your dad
under any circumstances.
1143
01:16:44,440 --> 01:16:45,840
He's dead.
1144
01:16:46,320 --> 01:16:47,640
That's perfect.
1145
01:16:50,160 --> 01:16:52,000
- You bit me.
- Get used to it.
1146
01:17:04,320 --> 01:17:06,000
My name is Socrates del Bello
1147
01:17:06,240 --> 01:17:08,680
and I've come to the cult to end you.
1148
01:17:09,160 --> 01:17:12,480
But why? We were happy!
1149
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:14,000
You're right.
1150
01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:17,760
But I wasn't!
1151
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:25,480
Now I am. You are all welcome
to the new and improved cult
1152
01:17:25,760 --> 01:17:29,000
of Socrates del Bello, called…
1153
01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:32,000
Called...
1154
01:17:36,280 --> 01:17:37,280
Holy shit.
1155
01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:39,000
Beautylism!
1156
01:17:40,240 --> 01:17:42,720
Are you with me, beauties?
1157
01:17:43,920 --> 01:17:47,200
Call me "Me"!
1158
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:52,360
What will you do
when you realize that ridiculing He
1159
01:17:52,680 --> 01:17:56,000
and leading a cult
still doesn't make you happy, Me?
1160
01:17:56,800 --> 01:17:58,560
Leave them with running mascara?
1161
01:17:58,600 --> 01:18:00,280
No. Me doesn't do those things.
1162
01:18:00,520 --> 01:18:02,080
You've run all your life,
1163
01:18:02,240 --> 01:18:06,000
racing cars at stoplights
that didn't even know they were racing.
1164
01:18:06,280 --> 01:18:09,920
The problem wasn't
that you had bad luck and couldn't win.
1165
01:18:10,217 --> 01:18:11,787
Let's not discuss that, dear.
1166
01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:15,640
Or that women only approached you
because you're famous.
1167
01:18:16,040 --> 01:18:17,040
Got you!
1168
01:18:17,080 --> 01:18:20,000
I loved it, they screamed louder
if they knew I was famous.
1169
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:21,840
The problem has always been you.
1170
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:25,000
That's why you stayed here,
another in-demand girl.
1171
01:18:25,640 --> 01:18:29,046
And you've managed improvements here
that I never thought you would.
1172
01:18:29,756 --> 01:18:31,960
Your smile is back,
like the day at the zoo,
1173
01:18:32,280 --> 01:18:34,040
without riding a fucking dolphin.
1174
01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:36,680
You say “ha!” like you mean it.
1175
01:18:37,040 --> 01:18:38,760
And your stomach doesn't hurt.
1176
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:39,800
That's true.
1177
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:43,360
Ever since you gave me
those blue pills for assholes.
1178
01:18:43,440 --> 01:18:45,400
A placebo more harmless than water.
1179
01:18:45,984 --> 01:18:47,040
But most importantly,
1180
01:18:47,640 --> 01:18:53,320
you made an effort, to the point
of leading a commune just to please me.
1181
01:18:54,209 --> 01:18:57,120
And you did it for something
you never thought you'd feel.
1182
01:18:57,520 --> 01:18:58,520
What was it?
1183
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:00,000
Love!
1184
01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:05,120
I know you aren't cured,
but as strange as it seems,
1185
01:19:06,360 --> 01:19:07,480
I know you will be.
1186
01:19:09,240 --> 01:19:10,480
That's because I…
1187
01:19:11,360 --> 01:19:12,920
I must be really sick.
1188
01:19:14,320 --> 01:19:17,680
Because I love you too, asshole.
1189
01:19:18,073 --> 01:19:20,674
I have since I met you
at 12 years and 3 months old.
1190
01:19:20,929 --> 01:19:23,040
And although I've fought it my whole life…
1191
01:19:24,480 --> 01:19:25,480
I need you with me.
1192
01:19:26,800 --> 01:19:28,600
And even more now that I'm leaving.
1193
01:19:29,280 --> 01:19:30,320
Why?
1194
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:34,200
I got a stretch mark
and He can't have that here.
1195
01:19:35,240 --> 01:19:36,640
I'm getting old, Socrates.
1196
01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:42,120
But I promise not to leave
a trail of Post-its to say "I love you".
1197
01:19:47,560 --> 01:19:48,560
Nené,
1198
01:19:49,440 --> 01:19:50,600
I…
1199
01:19:52,400 --> 01:19:54,400
I know I've made a lot of mistakes.
1200
01:19:56,600 --> 01:20:01,000
Like when I quit racing
and started that brief wrestling career.
1201
01:20:01,401 --> 01:20:03,120
They called me "the Masked Bello".
1202
01:20:04,320 --> 01:20:05,720
Then I tried to kill myself.
1203
01:20:07,880 --> 01:20:10,040
My autobiography comes out this September.
1204
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:13,680
I returned to racing for a distraction.
1205
01:20:14,887 --> 01:20:16,927
I know I'm not a damn sunset and
1206
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:19,000
that I still wouldn't make you happy.
1207
01:20:20,280 --> 01:20:22,200
But... but
1208
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:25,320
I can't be selfish and...
1209
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:28,400
and ask that you and I…
1210
01:20:55,360 --> 01:20:57,520
L'Ore, no!
1211
01:21:06,920 --> 01:21:08,920
Kill yourself.
1212
01:21:08,971 --> 01:21:10,331
- That's impossible.
- What?
1213
01:21:11,520 --> 01:21:14,320
You caused everything I just felt
1214
01:21:14,400 --> 01:21:16,508
with your cultish manipulation techniques!
1215
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:19,440
- What?
- Happiness doesn't exist for man!
1216
01:21:19,520 --> 01:21:22,000
Happiness means lies,
lies mean abomination.
1217
01:21:22,040 --> 01:21:24,000
Happiness is an abomination.
1218
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:26,840
- No!
- You wanted me to join your tribe.
1219
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:29,880
You tricked me,
you don't love me! You bitch!
1220
01:21:30,040 --> 01:21:33,760
You bitch! You bitch!
1221
01:21:36,920 --> 01:21:38,080
Kill yourself.
1222
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:44,440
Socrates!
1223
01:21:48,960 --> 01:21:51,000
Kill yourself.
1224
01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:53,400
Kill yourself.
1225
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:55,480
Nobody loves you.
1226
01:21:57,280 --> 01:21:59,040
Nobody loves you.
1227
01:22:01,800 --> 01:22:03,240
Nobody loves you.
1228
01:22:04,120 --> 01:22:05,440
Kill yourself.
1229
01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:08,080
Nobody loves you.
1230
01:22:09,400 --> 01:22:12,320
- What are you doing?
- Quick, before they kill us!
1231
01:22:12,440 --> 01:22:13,440
I'm staying.
1232
01:22:13,640 --> 01:22:16,080
How dare you contradict me, copilot?
1233
01:22:17,553 --> 01:22:19,006
I'm not your copilot anymore.
1234
01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:22,240
If you were smart, you'd take the tigress
1235
01:22:22,280 --> 01:22:24,436
and set up
a commune branch somewhere else.
1236
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:27,000
The whole world needs to experience this.
1237
01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:29,600
The cunnilingus of your brain is complete.
1238
01:22:30,160 --> 01:22:32,000
I can't do anything to save you.
1239
01:22:32,400 --> 01:22:33,800
Kill yourself.
1240
01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:38,000
Nobody loves you. Kill yourself.
1241
01:22:38,640 --> 01:22:40,400
My vengeance is underway.
1242
01:22:40,480 --> 01:22:43,720
If all goes well,
humanity as we know it will be saved.
1243
01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:45,040
Now I must run.
1244
01:22:46,720 --> 01:22:48,360
Where the hell is he?
1245
01:22:48,480 --> 01:22:51,240
It's the sirens.
I can't listen to their singing.
1246
01:22:51,920 --> 01:22:53,440
You really love him, right?
1247
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:55,560
Not like you love me.
1248
01:22:56,000 --> 01:22:57,280
More than anything, He.
1249
01:22:57,520 --> 01:23:00,000
I love that paranoiac more than anything.
1250
01:23:02,720 --> 01:23:03,720
Socrates!
1251
01:23:05,040 --> 01:23:06,040
Socrates!
1252
01:23:07,999 --> 01:23:10,906
"Lady Gaga,
add black market Peruvian broccoli
1253
01:23:10,976 --> 01:23:13,234
to the chasing the dragon.
Signed: L'Oreala."
1254
01:23:20,160 --> 01:23:23,000
Nobody loves you. Kill yourself.
1255
01:23:24,120 --> 01:23:25,800
Kill yourself.
1256
01:23:29,440 --> 01:23:31,920
Socrates! Socrates!
1257
01:23:32,560 --> 01:23:34,000
Socrates!
1258
01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:38,800
Although it kills me
1259
01:23:39,080 --> 01:23:41,040
that you prefer him over me,
1260
01:23:41,680 --> 01:23:42,920
let me just say...
1261
01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:48,680
if it's true love, Lardo will come back.
1262
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:52,080
Is that your sixth sense talking?
1263
01:23:52,480 --> 01:23:55,080
All the romantic comedies
I've seen are telling me.
1264
01:23:55,240 --> 01:23:58,360
This isn't a romantic comedy.
And cults never end well.
1265
01:23:58,480 --> 01:24:00,960
This is a technification center.
1266
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:05,960
Anyway, you have to have a happy ending.
1267
01:24:06,160 --> 01:24:09,400
So tonight, I'm putting on
the great show I've spent months
1268
01:24:09,480 --> 01:24:10,760
secretly planning.
1269
01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:13,400
So secretly
that sometimes even I didn't know.
1270
01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:16,240
It's the best way
to regain the girls' trust
1271
01:24:16,696 --> 01:24:18,000
and give you your goodbye.
1272
01:24:19,000 --> 01:24:22,240
He, I can't think about that,
I'm worried about that asshole.
1273
01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:25,760
Don't talk back, I'm still your leader.
1274
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:29,480
So repeat after me: Lardo will come back.
1275
01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:33,200
Lardo will come back.
1276
01:24:34,120 --> 01:24:35,160
Lardo...
1277
01:24:36,920 --> 01:24:37,960
Will come back.
1278
01:25:12,000 --> 01:25:13,080
We're finally free!
1279
01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:16,000
What are you doing here?
1280
01:25:17,440 --> 01:25:19,440
Go off with your cult!
1281
01:25:21,680 --> 01:25:24,840
As I was using you,
I thought about making you my geisha,
1282
01:25:25,360 --> 01:25:27,000
but someone with that hair
1283
01:25:27,000 --> 01:25:29,000
is nothing but a giant bitch.
1284
01:25:29,080 --> 01:25:30,244
Why would you say that?
1285
01:25:32,280 --> 01:25:35,000
So I can hate you.
Go on, get out, I'm stopping.
1286
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:41,000
Close the door!
1287
01:25:45,000 --> 01:25:47,520
We've spent two days looking for Socrates
1288
01:25:47,840 --> 01:25:48,840
and found nothing.
1289
01:25:48,920 --> 01:25:50,480
We only have a few minutes!
1290
01:25:50,600 --> 01:25:52,000
Relax, Snoopy.
1291
01:25:53,160 --> 01:25:56,000
I'll be damned
if there's not an alternative.
1292
01:25:56,480 --> 01:25:57,720
I called my aunt,
1293
01:25:58,000 --> 01:25:59,920
the best medium at the Vatican,
1294
01:26:01,080 --> 01:26:03,040
- to help us.
- When is she coming?
1295
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:07,400
Hello, miss medium.
1296
01:26:08,360 --> 01:26:10,720
How will she
figure out Socrates' whereabouts?
1297
01:26:11,280 --> 01:26:15,720
Calling on spirits, going into a trance,
screaming really loud?
1298
01:26:17,440 --> 01:26:19,960
Recent tire tracks.
1299
01:26:20,560 --> 01:26:23,000
It must be our guy. Let's follow them.
1300
01:26:24,800 --> 01:26:27,840
My aunt is a very realistic medium.
1301
01:26:31,600 --> 01:26:34,560
Shit, it's full.
Let's see what I can erase.
1302
01:26:37,360 --> 01:26:39,040
Where the hell is he?
1303
01:26:39,080 --> 01:26:42,000
It's the sirens.
I can't listen to their singing.
1304
01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:45,000
You really love him, right?
Not like you love me.
1305
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:46,240
More than anything, He.
1306
01:26:46,320 --> 01:26:48,800
I love that paranoiac more than anything.
1307
01:26:51,120 --> 01:26:53,560
I love that paranoiac more than anything.
1308
01:26:55,240 --> 01:26:56,560
More than anything.
1309
01:26:58,640 --> 01:27:00,360
Paranoiac, huh?
1310
01:27:04,320 --> 01:27:07,800
She said she loved me
without knowing I was listening.
1311
01:27:10,520 --> 01:27:12,840
I have to go back before it's too late,
1312
01:27:13,120 --> 01:27:14,720
before she's gone forever.
1313
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:21,440
When your cheeks catch a glimpse of me
1314
01:27:22,240 --> 01:27:25,800
I'm overcome by your smile
1315
01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:30,200
And I can't breathe
1316
01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:35,000
I always keep
1317
01:27:35,400 --> 01:27:41,280
Your scent in a paper bottle...
1318
01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:47,000
Back again, Satan?
1319
01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:52,840
You won't beat me this time,
this is going to be my best time ever.
1320
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:54,840
I have something to fight for now.
1321
01:28:01,853 --> 01:28:03,960
I beat you! I beat you! I humiliated you!
1322
01:28:41,680 --> 01:28:44,920
I just sent the shrimp home,
along with Fu Manchu.
1323
01:28:45,240 --> 01:28:47,000
Careful he doesn't fuck her too.
1324
01:28:48,280 --> 01:28:50,120
Well, today you'll let me, right?
1325
01:28:50,280 --> 01:28:52,440
I smoked twice as much on nights out.
1326
01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:55,400
When you win the war,
you need to be generous.
1327
01:28:56,000 --> 01:28:59,000
Did you notice
your "tumor" is gone, Jose?
1328
01:29:00,960 --> 01:29:02,160
I prefer Wonderbra.
1329
01:29:03,120 --> 01:29:04,120
Go on!
1330
01:29:08,920 --> 01:29:11,000
You're more handsome than ever.
1331
01:29:12,000 --> 01:29:13,840
We'll have quite the three-way.
1332
01:29:14,000 --> 01:29:16,000
I always keep
1333
01:29:16,712 --> 01:29:22,272
Your scent in a paper bottle
1334
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:27,920
Today, I remember your touch
1335
01:29:28,000 --> 01:29:32,120
Like petals that break when they fall
1336
01:29:32,600 --> 01:29:36,360
And the wind that carries them away
1337
01:29:36,760 --> 01:29:42,000
Returns the aromas
that brush against my skin
1338
01:30:12,617 --> 01:30:14,969
I see you overcame
your problem with off-white.
1339
01:30:19,080 --> 01:30:20,080
My darling,
1340
01:30:21,000 --> 01:30:25,000
you have been
the true leader of this commune.
1341
01:30:25,680 --> 01:30:28,760
Let life smile upon you. You deserve it.
1342
01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:31,360
You deserve it, you deserve it.
1343
01:30:35,360 --> 01:30:36,560
Thank you, girls.
1344
01:30:45,280 --> 01:30:49,720
I've never seen so much "beautee".
1345
01:30:54,160 --> 01:30:56,000
Say it with me.
1346
01:31:01,920 --> 01:31:03,080
Amen.
1347
01:31:03,360 --> 01:31:04,640
Amen!
1348
01:31:25,480 --> 01:31:26,520
No!
1349
01:31:27,920 --> 01:31:28,920
No!
1350
01:31:37,280 --> 01:31:41,360
The lethal combination of
chasing the dragon and Peruvian broccoli
1351
01:31:41,440 --> 01:31:44,320
I learned from YouTube
and tried to kill myself with,
1352
01:31:44,680 --> 01:31:46,280
but was too scared to take,
1353
01:31:46,560 --> 01:31:48,640
worked this time. They're all dead.
1354
01:31:50,520 --> 01:31:51,520
Nené!
1355
01:31:52,200 --> 01:31:53,400
Nené!
1356
01:31:55,080 --> 01:31:57,280
No! No!
1357
01:31:57,800 --> 01:31:59,000
She's gone forever.
1358
01:32:03,840 --> 01:32:05,320
I'm late again.
1359
01:32:11,320 --> 01:32:13,000
Three…
1360
01:32:16,560 --> 01:32:18,200
I'll have to join the party.
1361
01:32:19,920 --> 01:32:20,920
Two…
1362
01:32:21,760 --> 01:32:23,000
Socrates del Bello?
1363
01:32:25,960 --> 01:32:26,960
One…
1364
01:32:27,000 --> 01:32:29,920
What the hell happened here?
1365
01:32:30,360 --> 01:32:31,520
Posted.
1366
01:32:33,480 --> 01:32:34,840
Zero…
1367
01:32:37,320 --> 01:32:41,160
Shit! No, we can't fuck here, it's taken.
1368
01:32:42,920 --> 01:32:46,320
By the way, your cousin
Socrates del Bello was found alive.
1369
01:32:46,400 --> 01:32:48,760
- What?
- So where are we going to fuck?
1370
01:32:53,800 --> 01:32:58,640
STEP 6: ACHIEVE IMMORTALITY
1371
01:33:00,040 --> 01:33:02,000
The judge finally lifted the block
1372
01:33:02,000 --> 01:33:05,000
to remove the bodies.
It smells ripe in there.
1373
01:33:05,640 --> 01:33:08,000
Maybe that's why
I couldn't get it up in there.
1374
01:33:08,000 --> 01:33:09,880
See anything we can swipe?
1375
01:33:10,280 --> 01:33:11,640
Besides those boobs?
1376
01:33:12,640 --> 01:33:13,840
Mamma mia.
1377
01:33:14,360 --> 01:33:16,520
Where do those models keep the coke?
1378
01:33:17,120 --> 01:33:18,760
If we don't take this...
1379
01:33:19,200 --> 01:33:21,960
If I give it to your sister,
maybe she'll even blow me.
1380
01:33:23,280 --> 01:33:24,280
Look at this, Rico!
1381
01:33:25,480 --> 01:33:27,800
The teriyaki? Amazing. Yes, yes.
1382
01:33:28,000 --> 01:33:29,000
Are we rolling?
1383
01:33:30,400 --> 01:33:32,000
A cult, not Ethiopia.
1384
01:33:32,080 --> 01:33:34,360
And the five-time rally runner-up,
1385
01:33:34,800 --> 01:33:36,800
after 48 hours in a state of shock,
1386
01:33:36,880 --> 01:33:40,760
has finally shared details
to clear up his strange disappearance…
1387
01:33:40,880 --> 01:33:43,346
…as well as
the death of 44 beautiful women,
1388
01:33:43,397 --> 01:33:46,247
one with scars,
and two men in the cult where he was held.
1389
01:33:46,920 --> 01:33:49,640
As corroborated
by the journalist who found him,
1390
01:33:49,840 --> 01:33:52,120
a dangerous beauty-worshipping cult led
1391
01:33:52,200 --> 01:33:55,200
by former fashion enfant terrible
SerafĂn Bubu, a.k.a. He,
1392
01:33:55,240 --> 01:33:57,840
captured him for being
the most handsome man alive.
1393
01:33:57,920 --> 01:34:01,520
According to Socrates,
seeing him and not measuring up
1394
01:34:01,689 --> 01:34:04,744
depressed them so much
that they committed collective suicide
1395
01:34:04,822 --> 01:34:06,960
wearing special clothes for the occasion.
1396
01:34:07,200 --> 01:34:10,280
Thanks to the techniques
learned at Mossad,
1397
01:34:10,320 --> 01:34:12,800
del Bello made them believe
he had killed himself
1398
01:34:12,880 --> 01:34:15,520
though he only put his body
in a catatonic state.
1399
01:34:15,560 --> 01:34:18,480
With this discovery,
Spain is ending the war
1400
01:34:18,560 --> 01:34:21,600
it had planned against Ethiopia,
and our detested president…
1401
01:34:21,718 --> 01:34:24,070
…who dined and ditched on me
just the other day,
1402
01:34:24,149 --> 01:34:25,560
was forced to resign.
1403
01:34:25,920 --> 01:34:29,450
Socrates' first statements
after recovering have been
1404
01:34:29,513 --> 01:34:31,200
that he wants to forget it all...
1405
01:34:31,360 --> 01:34:32,720
...and that next,
1406
01:34:32,760 --> 01:34:34,880
after winning the Nobel Peace Prize,
1407
01:34:35,280 --> 01:34:39,760
he will dedicate himself
to what he does best: racing.
1408
01:34:40,000 --> 01:34:41,000
Fucking hero.
1409
01:34:48,280 --> 01:34:49,880
Can you believe that bitch?
1410
01:34:51,000 --> 01:34:53,520
After saying she loved me,
turns out I was right.
1411
01:34:53,600 --> 01:34:54,600
It was all a lie.
1412
01:34:57,680 --> 01:35:02,000
When I was in the hospital,
I played Nené's recording backwards
1413
01:35:02,040 --> 01:35:04,880
and I heard satanic phrases
in foreign tongues
1414
01:35:05,000 --> 01:35:08,880
that said they just wanted
to trick me to keep spreading
1415
01:35:08,960 --> 01:35:10,880
their cultish ideals across the Earth.
1416
01:35:11,280 --> 01:35:15,080
That's why I'm glad I killed them all.
1417
01:35:16,320 --> 01:35:19,000
This experience has made me stronger
so I can become
1418
01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:20,360
the world rally champion.
1419
01:35:20,480 --> 01:35:23,480
I won't get lost,
I just have to follow the applause
1420
01:35:23,640 --> 01:35:27,000
and the crowd's cheers
at every corner to see me
1421
01:35:27,000 --> 01:35:28,000
and applaud me.
1422
01:35:29,960 --> 01:35:34,000
After a lifetime of searching,
I've finally found my path.
1423
01:35:35,000 --> 01:35:38,080
My path, my path, my path.
1424
01:37:42,680 --> 01:37:45,013
Subtitle translation by: Megan Mundt107677