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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:18,813 扒手呀… 2 00:02:18,952 --> 00:02:22,080 搶東西啊，別跑…那裡跑呀 3 00:02:26,526 --> 00:02:28,790 整天都搶東西，又搶了！ 4 00:02:35,669 --> 00:02:36,397 豆腐花兩碗 5 00:02:36,536 --> 00:02:37,298 謝謝你 6 00:02:37,437 --> 00:02:38,699 小姐，以前怎麼沒有見過你？ 7 00:02:38,839 --> 00:02:40,033 她是我表姐 8 00:02:40,173 --> 00:02:42,300 我老弟生病了，所以她來幫忙 9 00:02:42,442 --> 00:02:44,603 你看，那小妞還真漂亮啊 10 00:02:44,744 --> 00:02:46,371 你又看上人家是不是呀？ 11 00:02:48,315 --> 00:02:50,146 小姐，算賬呀 12 00:02:50,283 --> 00:02:51,307 來了 13 00:02:51,651 --> 00:02:52,879 我去幫你算賬好了 14 00:02:53,487 --> 00:02:54,419 不好意思呀 15 00:02:55,856 --> 00:02:57,050 你表姐有沒有收了人家聘金呀？ 16 00:02:57,190 --> 00:02:59,055 小心噎著你！吃吧你 17 00:02:59,192 --> 00:03:00,250 噎死了也願意啊 18 00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:01,494 小妞來了 19 00:03:02,095 --> 00:03:02,891 客倌，要算賬了？ 20 00:03:03,029 --> 00:03:03,552 是呀！一共多少銀子？ 21 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,930 小姐，你皮膚真漂亮啊 22 00:03:09,069 --> 00:03:10,331 謝謝一兩銀子 23 00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:11,732 一兩銀子啊？ 24 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:14,704 拿去 25 00:03:14,975 --> 00:03:15,873 你想幹什麼？ 26 00:03:16,009 --> 00:03:18,671 我想多買一碗拿回去給我老媽吃 27 00:03:18,812 --> 00:03:20,006 請你等一下 28 00:03:21,781 --> 00:03:23,749 她生氣的時候樣子還要美麗 29 00:03:24,384 --> 00:03:26,284 小心點！那幾個癟三很下流的 30 00:03:26,419 --> 00:03:27,681 我知道 31 00:03:32,626 --> 00:03:35,288 客倌，請問你有沒有帶東西來裝啊？ 32 00:03:35,428 --> 00:03:36,622 沒有！ 33 00:03:37,197 --> 00:03:38,528 你們有沒有帶東西啊？ 34 00:03:38,665 --> 00:03:39,927 沒帶…沒帶 35 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:40,794 沒有關係，我家就住在附近 36 00:03:40,934 --> 00:03:43,164 你就倒在我手上好了 37 00:03:43,303 --> 00:03:44,201 倒你手上？ 38 00:03:44,337 --> 00:03:46,828 不用怕！我們不習慣戴東西的 39 00:03:46,973 --> 00:03:48,941 來…倒… 40 00:03:49,075 --> 00:03:49,973 真的要我倒你手上？ 41 00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:51,600 當然啊 42 00:03:51,745 --> 00:03:52,973 這是你自己說的 43 00:03:53,113 --> 00:03:55,581 既乾淨又安全呀，倒… 44 00:03:56,917 --> 00:03:58,316 感覺怎麼樣？ 45 00:03:58,451 --> 00:04:01,249 姑娘，你幫我看一下一共多少錢？ 46 00:04:01,855 --> 00:04:03,379 算清楚 47 00:04:04,558 --> 00:04:07,857 謝謝你，一共是一兩八錢銀子 48 00:04:10,497 --> 00:04:11,521 姑娘，我沒有手拿錢給你呀 49 00:04:11,665 --> 00:04:13,394 你幫我一個忙好不好呀？ 50 00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:14,591 怎麼幫呀？ 51 00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:18,202 把我衣服掀起來呀，掀起就可以了 52 00:04:24,678 --> 00:04:25,474 喜歡拿多少就拿多少，沒關係啦 53 00:04:25,612 --> 00:04:26,670 不要客氣 54 00:04:27,013 --> 00:04:28,503 你這樣子叫我怎麼拿？ 55 00:04:28,949 --> 00:04:30,314 沒有問題啦 56 00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:32,281 我們吃東西總要給錢嘛，對不對？ 57 00:04:32,419 --> 00:04:33,977 拿…啦，拿啦 58 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:34,984 有沒有搞錯啊！ 59 00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:38,750 誰講話，欠揍呀？ 60 00:04:40,393 --> 00:04:43,726 算啦，我不要你的錢，你們走吧 61 00:04:43,863 --> 00:04:45,490 不行，不行 62 00:04:45,632 --> 00:04:47,259 我們不能讓人家說我們白吃呀 63 00:04:47,434 --> 00:04:48,196 拿啦，拿啦 64 00:04:48,335 --> 00:04:49,393 我不要了行不行？ 65 00:04:49,536 --> 00:04:50,662 你想走？ 66 00:04:52,238 --> 00:04:54,866 拿呀，不要吱吱歪歪的，拿呀，拿呀 67 00:04:55,308 --> 00:04:56,468 放手呀 68 00:05:13,093 --> 00:05:14,685 小姐，他們欠你多少錢？ 69 00:05:15,128 --> 00:05:16,459 一兩八錢 70 00:05:18,064 --> 00:05:18,860 揍他 71 00:05:54,968 --> 00:05:55,798 不要走 72 00:05:56,302 --> 00:06:01,501 不要…救命呀！ 73 00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:07,236 我們過去 74 00:06:08,815 --> 00:06:10,282 多謝公子相救 75 00:06:10,417 --> 00:06:11,441 小意思，不用客氣 76 00:06:11,584 --> 00:06:12,983 拜託讓讓，拜託讓讓 77 00:06:13,119 --> 00:06:14,552 什麼事，那麼多人？ 78 00:06:14,688 --> 00:06:16,622 公子在那邊 79 00:06:18,658 --> 00:06:19,852 公子，這麼熱鬧怎麼沒你的份？ 80 00:06:19,993 --> 00:06:21,961 沒事啦，你們兩個跑哪裡去了？ 81 00:06:22,095 --> 00:06:23,289 我們去看放榜 82 00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:25,489 這兩位漂亮的姑娘是… 83 00:06:26,399 --> 00:06:27,730 是什麼也不關你的事 84 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:28,663 如果沒看錯的話 85 00:06:28,802 --> 00:06:30,633 這兩位姑娘，一定是滿州人 86 00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:32,060 你為什麼會那麼說？ 87 00:06:32,205 --> 00:06:33,797 如果不是，你的名字怎麼會那麼長？ 88 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:35,134 叫「是什麼也不關你的事」 89 00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:36,207 還說不是滿州人嗎？ 90 00:06:36,342 --> 00:06:37,070 你去死吧 91 00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:38,370 那麼多人死，你怎麼還活著呢？ 92 00:06:38,511 --> 00:06:40,308 鬧夠了沒有？放榜結果怎樣？ 93 00:06:40,447 --> 00:06:42,108 我差點忘了，在那邊呀 94 00:06:42,248 --> 00:06:43,579 我帶你去，走… 95 00:06:44,184 --> 00:06:44,980 公子 96 00:06:45,118 --> 00:06:45,982 走呀！ 97 00:06:46,119 --> 00:06:47,518 那位公子是… 98 00:06:47,654 --> 00:06:49,884 他叫柳先開，你說師不師呀？ 99 00:06:50,023 --> 00:06:52,992 文才好，又能夠打，家裡又有錢 100 00:06:53,326 --> 00:06:55,851 正合你的胃口，我看你發春啦 101 00:06:55,995 --> 00:06:57,428 不知道是誰發春 102 00:06:57,564 --> 00:07:00,499 死丫頭，快去做事啦 103 00:07:06,473 --> 00:07:09,135 柳先開，公子，恭喜…你考第一 104 00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:11,937 還用你說嗎？就算瞎子也看到啦 105 00:07:12,345 --> 00:07:13,403 恭喜…公子恭喜 106 00:07:13,546 --> 00:07:14,444 先不用恭喜我 107 00:07:14,581 --> 00:07:16,446 等我進京赴考高中了再恭喜也不遲 108 00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:17,481 沒問題 109 00:07:17,617 --> 00:07:18,379 有沒有搞錯？ 110 00:07:18,518 --> 00:07:20,782 是誰那麼無聊，連公文都敢撕掉？ 111 00:07:23,389 --> 00:07:27,223 有沒有搞錯，倫文敘，哪來的？ 112 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,952 倫文敘是哪顆蔥呀？ 113 00:07:29,095 --> 00:07:30,392 一定是主考官搞錯了 114 00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:33,328 應該是柳公子考第一的，是不是？ 115 00:07:33,733 --> 00:07:35,030 倫文敘 116 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,099 糯米雞 117 00:07:41,241 --> 00:07:42,538 來了 118 00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:44,074 倫兄，不用急 119 00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:46,337 這一頓是我們幾兄弟專程來請你吃的 120 00:07:46,479 --> 00:07:50,108 放心，我們帶了足夠銀兩，盡量吃 121 00:07:51,251 --> 00:07:53,116 很久都沒有吃得這麼飽 122 00:07:53,887 --> 00:07:56,754 吃得飽，想大個便都多花時間啊 123 00:07:59,092 --> 00:08:02,789 倫兄，我想請教一下，你都不唸書 124 00:08:02,962 --> 00:08:04,589 怎麼老考第一呢？ 125 00:08:05,198 --> 00:08:08,361 道理是很簡單的，有沒有紙筆墨？ 126 00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:09,991 有有有 127 00:08:15,441 --> 00:08:18,740 鮮鮑片 128 00:08:20,046 --> 00:08:22,105 到底是什麼意思呀？解釋一下好不好 129 00:08:22,248 --> 00:08:24,216 加菜囉，有意見嗎？ 130 00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:25,612 小二 131 00:08:27,287 --> 00:08:29,380 到底有什麼秘訣，快點講，快寫！ 132 00:08:32,492 --> 00:08:33,424 秘訣就是 133 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:34,686 「努力」 134 00:08:36,029 --> 00:08:37,394 好學生，是不可以講髒話的 135 00:08:37,831 --> 00:08:39,458 不好意思，鮮鮑片賣完啦 136 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:41,598 不好意思，不好意思 137 00:08:41,734 --> 00:08:42,666 真掃興 138 00:08:46,472 --> 00:08:48,235 誰點的那麼好菜呀？ 139 00:08:48,374 --> 00:08:49,864 倫文敘那些人 140 00:08:51,911 --> 00:08:52,707 那些癟三呀？ 141 00:08:52,846 --> 00:08:53,972 是呀，聽說他又考第一 142 00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:55,102 來這兒慶祝一下 143 00:08:55,248 --> 00:08:57,239 給我每樣減一半，拿回廚房去 144 00:08:57,383 --> 00:08:58,407 為什麼？老闆 145 00:08:58,551 --> 00:09:01,247 那些癟三沒錢，比韓信還窮 146 00:09:01,387 --> 00:09:02,649 搞不好沒錢結賬 147 00:09:02,789 --> 00:09:05,849 拿回去一半，虧也虧一半嘛，快點！ 148 00:09:07,193 --> 00:09:08,160 想不想考第一啊？ 149 00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:10,262 那我就出個問題問你們一下 150 00:09:10,396 --> 00:09:12,626 一個新郎跟一個新娘洞房的時候 151 00:09:12,765 --> 00:09:13,993 那個新娘呢也不知道 152 00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:15,259 為什麼掉了幾根毛髮 153 00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:16,390 在那幾根毛髮掉下地之前 154 00:09:16,536 --> 00:09:17,525 是什麼聲音啊？ 155 00:09:17,804 --> 00:09:18,566 「狗」的一聲 156 00:09:18,705 --> 00:09:19,330 「僕」的一聲 157 00:09:19,472 --> 00:09:20,166 「碰」的一聲 158 00:09:20,306 --> 00:09:23,332 錯，答案就是「Pook」一聲 159 00:09:26,813 --> 00:09:28,041 夠賤嗎？夠賤嗎？ 160 00:09:28,181 --> 00:09:29,648 公子，麻煩施捨點錢好不好？ 161 00:09:33,586 --> 00:09:35,781 婆婆，我好餓喔 162 00:09:35,922 --> 00:09:37,719 來來來，妹妹，糯米雞拿去吃呀 163 00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:38,482 謝謝哥哥 164 00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:41,093 不客氣 165 00:09:41,227 --> 00:09:45,061 豈有此理，你這個臭要飯的 166 00:09:45,198 --> 00:09:46,358 髒兮兮的，整天在這裡 167 00:09:46,499 --> 00:09:48,729 還偷東西吃，走走走呀 168 00:09:55,508 --> 00:09:56,372 不關我的事 169 00:09:56,509 --> 00:09:57,476 還說不關你事 170 00:09:57,610 --> 00:09:59,373 你在我店裡，打破我的東西 171 00:09:59,512 --> 00:10:01,173 不關你事，難道關我的事 172 00:10:01,314 --> 00:10:02,281 是我自己打破的？ 173 00:10:02,415 --> 00:10:03,211 賠錢 174 00:10:03,349 --> 00:10:04,281 我沒有錢呀！ 175 00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:05,782 沒錢呀，這些是什麼東西？ 176 00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:07,819 沒人性 177 00:10:13,359 --> 00:10:14,690 老闆，埋單 178 00:10:14,827 --> 00:10:16,021 來啦！ 179 00:10:18,464 --> 00:10:20,227 三三見九，三九二十七 180 00:10:20,366 --> 00:10:21,390 一共是二兩八 181 00:10:21,534 --> 00:10:22,660 咬人啊，二兩八？ 182 00:10:22,802 --> 00:10:23,791 沒折扣打喔 183 00:10:23,937 --> 00:10:25,564 真是便宜，便宜得厲害 184 00:10:25,705 --> 00:10:27,229 對呀，便宜，便宜 185 00:10:27,373 --> 00:10:28,340 給錢 186 00:10:28,474 --> 00:10:29,941 不是你付嗎？ 187 00:10:30,076 --> 00:10:31,304 我沒有帶錢 188 00:10:31,444 --> 00:10:32,240 我也沒帶 189 00:10:32,378 --> 00:10:33,709 我也沒帶啊 190 00:10:33,846 --> 00:10:35,143 不要鬧啦，趕快付了就算啦 191 00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:37,078 你們這些人不要在這裡演戲啦 192 00:10:37,216 --> 00:10:38,274 你們的演技差的很 193 00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:39,942 快給錢，不要演啦 194 00:10:40,086 --> 00:10:40,916 怎麼會是演戲呢？ 195 00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:43,079 我們的內部只是出了一點小小的問題 196 00:10:43,222 --> 00:10:45,986 今天的賬，我們明天再算好，明天見 197 00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:47,786 阿水，報官抓人 198 00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:48,825 不會吧 199 00:10:48,962 --> 00:10:50,520 老闆，只欠你二兩八，你就報官 200 00:10:50,663 --> 00:10:52,494 寫一張狀紙也要三兩 201 00:10:52,632 --> 00:10:53,894 大家也沒什麼好處啊 202 00:10:54,033 --> 00:10:56,501 沒得商量，沒錢我就報官抓人 203 00:10:56,636 --> 00:10:59,730 好啦…，現在是我們不對，是不是？ 204 00:10:59,872 --> 00:11:02,340 沒理由吃了東西又不付錢嘛 205 00:11:02,775 --> 00:11:03,764 這樣子 206 00:11:05,345 --> 00:11:06,107 我是很捨不得了 207 00:11:06,245 --> 00:11:07,974 這只是家傳之寶，起碼值二十兩 208 00:11:08,114 --> 00:11:09,672 我現在押給你 209 00:11:09,816 --> 00:11:11,647 我明天拿二兩八贖回來 210 00:11:11,784 --> 00:11:12,808 這樣可以吧？ 211 00:11:12,952 --> 00:11:14,579 你說什麼？我怎麼知道這是不是真的 212 00:11:14,721 --> 00:11:16,689 不信就找人驗一驗 213 00:11:16,823 --> 00:11:18,347 你當我這是當鋪呀？ 214 00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:21,123 那也是，我看… 215 00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:23,319 報官抓人好啦 216 00:11:23,463 --> 00:11:24,589 兄弟我們等官差來 217 00:11:24,731 --> 00:11:26,062 隨便「青菜」啦 218 00:11:26,199 --> 00:11:27,063 有東西抵押總比沒有的好 219 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,167 你給我聽好 220 00:11:28,301 --> 00:11:29,791 明天是五兩，後天是十兩 221 00:11:29,936 --> 00:11:31,904 過兩天不來，我就沒收 222 00:11:32,038 --> 00:11:33,130 這不是便宜你嗎？ 223 00:11:33,272 --> 00:11:34,068 不然你就付錢囉 224 00:11:34,207 --> 00:11:35,401 好…算我怕你了 225 00:11:35,541 --> 00:11:38,101 口說無憑，立據為證 226 00:11:38,244 --> 00:11:39,768 白紙黑字比較妥當一點 227 00:11:43,516 --> 00:11:45,677 好啦，現在不是你不相信我 228 00:11:45,818 --> 00:11:46,978 是我不相信你 229 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,212 這樣子就清楚啦 230 00:11:48,354 --> 00:11:50,083 價值二十兩玉鐲一隻 231 00:11:50,223 --> 00:11:51,212 暫押陸九記茶樓 232 00:11:51,357 --> 00:11:54,451 明天逾時如不帶二兩八來贖 233 00:11:54,594 --> 00:11:56,494 玉鐲歸陸九記所有 234 00:11:56,629 --> 00:11:59,427 來，我們認真一點，畫個押吧？ 235 00:12:06,305 --> 00:12:07,101 謝謝 236 00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:12,137 你們笑什麼？ 237 00:12:12,278 --> 00:12:14,746 笑你像個豬，是假的 238 00:12:15,314 --> 00:12:16,008 我不相信 239 00:12:16,149 --> 00:12:16,638 不信？ 240 00:12:16,783 --> 00:12:18,307 這個玉鐲一掰就碎了，你信不信呀？ 241 00:12:18,451 --> 00:12:19,110 我不信 242 00:12:19,252 --> 00:12:20,184 不掰也碎，你信不信呀？ 243 00:12:20,319 --> 00:12:21,343 不信 244 00:12:23,623 --> 00:12:24,920 不關我的事，不關我的事 245 00:12:25,058 --> 00:12:27,049 在你店裡，玉鐲在你手裡 246 00:12:27,193 --> 00:12:28,990 無緣無故分開兩段，不關你事 247 00:12:29,128 --> 00:12:30,288 難道關我的事嗎？現在… 248 00:12:30,430 --> 00:12:31,522 三十兩 249 00:12:33,766 --> 00:12:35,631 可以啦，可以啦，不用送啦 250 00:12:36,135 --> 00:12:37,830 以後再也不要讓我看到你們幾個！ 251 00:12:37,970 --> 00:12:40,438 看看有沒有緣份 252 00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:44,370 來啦，婆婆，不要哭了 253 00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:47,274 拿點錢跟孫女去吃點東西 254 00:12:47,413 --> 00:12:48,607 不要光顧這家黑店了 255 00:12:49,348 --> 00:12:50,337 謝謝 256 00:12:50,483 --> 00:12:52,417 不用謝謝我，謝謝老闆 257 00:12:53,319 --> 00:12:54,286 謝謝 258 00:12:56,989 --> 00:12:58,616 倫文敘… 259 00:12:59,025 --> 00:13:01,016 肥貓被人家打了 260 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,219 兄弟們，我們趕快「落」… 261 00:13:03,362 --> 00:13:04,386 落？落什麼？ 262 00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:07,328 我是說不能「落跑」！衝呀… 263 00:13:16,442 --> 00:13:17,807 不要打啦 264 00:13:20,413 --> 00:13:22,278 好了啦？打夠了沒有？ 265 00:13:26,385 --> 00:13:29,081 救命呀… 266 00:13:29,222 --> 00:13:30,746 肥貓 267 00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:37,595 打人？誰在打人？ 268 00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:39,721 是不是打人？敢打人跟我打呀 269 00:13:40,566 --> 00:13:41,931 打就打嘛，不用踢嘛 270 00:13:42,201 --> 00:13:43,566 還用七號的鞋來踢他 271 00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:44,692 他們打我 272 00:13:44,837 --> 00:13:45,633 他們為什麼打你？ 273 00:13:45,771 --> 00:13:46,635 打了我又踢我！ 274 00:13:46,772 --> 00:13:47,466 為什麼踢你呢！ 275 00:13:47,607 --> 00:13:48,539 踢完了又打 276 00:13:48,674 --> 00:13:49,936 你為什麼踢他呀？ 277 00:13:50,076 --> 00:13:52,237 吱吱歪歪也說不出來，你看看 278 00:13:52,378 --> 00:13:54,608 今天我們柳夫人擺壽酒 279 00:13:54,747 --> 00:13:56,078 你在我家門口寫這一些 280 00:13:56,215 --> 00:13:58,183 你分明是來找碴的 281 00:13:58,317 --> 00:14:01,013 柳家老母不是人，養個兒子去做賊 282 00:14:01,387 --> 00:14:02,251 是我寫的 283 00:14:02,388 --> 00:14:03,946 你說，他該不該打 284 00:14:04,290 --> 00:14:07,748 字寫得不錯嘛，筆法很有勁道的 285 00:14:08,161 --> 00:14:11,096 你找死啊？在人家門口亂寫一通！ 286 00:14:11,531 --> 00:14:13,021 我只是經過他們家門口 287 00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:15,896 他們就拿石頭扔我，還說我是白癡 288 00:14:16,035 --> 00:14:17,502 我是傻，可是我不是白癡啊 289 00:14:17,637 --> 00:14:18,899 傻跟白癡有什麼分別？ 290 00:14:19,338 --> 00:14:20,305 好像沒分別 291 00:14:20,606 --> 00:14:21,595 你知道就好了 292 00:14:21,741 --> 00:14:23,208 不要跟他嚕嗦，報官抓他 293 00:14:23,342 --> 00:14:25,037 不要亂來 294 00:14:25,578 --> 00:14:26,909 開扁怎麼不見你那麼神勇！ 295 00:14:27,046 --> 00:14:29,344 各位，肥貓本來是一番好意 296 00:14:29,482 --> 00:14:32,315 想題首詩來給柳夫人祝壽而已 297 00:14:32,451 --> 00:14:34,282 想不到讓人家打成這樣子 298 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:35,387 你們說有沒有道理 299 00:14:35,521 --> 00:14:36,488 沒道理 300 00:14:36,622 --> 00:14:38,055 你說這首詩是祝賀我們夫人的 301 00:14:38,191 --> 00:14:39,249 你當我不識字？ 302 00:14:39,392 --> 00:14:41,189 知道你識字，不過人家還沒寫完嘛 303 00:14:41,327 --> 00:14:42,385 你叫他寫下去 304 00:14:42,528 --> 00:14:44,393 他被你們打成這個樣子，怎麼寫？ 305 00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:45,758 我可以，我可以 306 00:14:45,898 --> 00:14:47,229 我幫他寫，可不可以嗎？ 307 00:14:47,366 --> 00:14:48,958 你幫他寫，如果你寫不好 308 00:14:49,101 --> 00:14:51,296 我就連你一塊抓 309 00:14:56,409 --> 00:14:56,932 筆墨 310 00:14:57,076 --> 00:14:57,940 在 311 00:14:58,511 --> 00:14:59,603 嚇我一跳 312 00:15:15,027 --> 00:15:16,085 柳家老母不是人 313 00:15:16,229 --> 00:15:17,719 九天僊女下凡塵 314 00:15:17,863 --> 00:15:19,057 養個兒子去做賊 315 00:15:19,198 --> 00:15:21,291 偷取蟠桃獻母親 316 00:15:21,434 --> 00:15:24,335 這也算罵老母，你罵我老母好啦 317 00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:27,564 好，好 318 00:15:28,741 --> 00:15:29,935 教教你們這些看門狗 319 00:15:30,076 --> 00:15:31,805 以後不要有事沒事在那邊亂叫亂叫的 320 00:15:31,944 --> 00:15:34,003 知不知道，我們走 321 00:15:34,547 --> 00:15:35,639 你厲害，倫文敘 322 00:15:37,016 --> 00:15:40,577 你寫詩又快又準 323 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,549 我剛剛又想到一句更絕的 324 00:15:42,688 --> 00:15:44,053 我念給你聽 325 00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:48,884 那句就是「柳家媽媽她是個臭鴨蛋」 326 00:15:49,061 --> 00:15:50,494 「柳家爸爸炒雞蛋」 327 00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:52,097 「一家大混蛋，涮！」 328 00:15:52,231 --> 00:15:54,165 好不好呀？ 329 00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:56,391 我打你個王八蛋 330 00:15:56,535 --> 00:15:58,560 看你以後在外邊亂講，我不理你啦 331 00:16:00,106 --> 00:16:02,233 媽，媽 332 00:16:03,776 --> 00:16:05,243 本來想買只鴨回來 333 00:16:05,378 --> 00:16:07,175 兩個人好好的慶祝一下 334 00:16:07,313 --> 00:16:09,907 不用說了，一定去賭博去了 335 00:16:10,049 --> 00:16:12,609 真是的！死性不改 336 00:16:12,952 --> 00:16:15,079 看來今晚也要自己食飯了 337 00:16:17,623 --> 00:16:20,114 恭喜，恭喜高中，倫少了不起 338 00:16:20,259 --> 00:16:23,524 客氣了，不是我行，是他們差而已 339 00:16:27,266 --> 00:16:28,130 媽，開不開心呀？ 340 00:16:28,267 --> 00:16:29,234 開心！開心！ 341 00:16:29,368 --> 00:16:30,164 多多指教 342 00:16:30,303 --> 00:16:33,204 我們廣東會館決定出錢供你去唸書 343 00:16:33,372 --> 00:16:35,602 高中之後就上京去考狀元 344 00:16:35,741 --> 00:16:36,708 是呀，大家都是這樣說 345 00:16:36,842 --> 00:16:38,366 考狀元，不好吧 346 00:16:38,511 --> 00:16:40,843 這當事我就不是很內行 347 00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:42,880 再說，我們家徒四壁 348 00:16:43,015 --> 00:16:44,448 你叫我走路上京嗎？ 349 00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:47,643 錢不是問題，我們廣東會館 350 00:16:47,787 --> 00:16:50,119 會拿錢出來給你作盤川用 351 00:16:50,256 --> 00:16:51,382 就是啊，我錢都拿啦 352 00:16:51,524 --> 00:16:52,718 真金白銀噹噹響，成色十足 353 00:16:52,858 --> 00:16:54,951 就這麼一點錢 354 00:16:55,094 --> 00:16:56,186 看看後頭呀 355 00:16:59,298 --> 00:16:59,992 媽呀 356 00:17:00,132 --> 00:17:01,121 倫少 357 00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:03,758 我們廣東從來沒有出過一個狀元 358 00:17:03,903 --> 00:17:05,837 給人說沒文化，是南蠻 359 00:17:05,971 --> 00:17:06,960 你天生聰明過人 360 00:17:07,106 --> 00:17:08,368 要為我們廣東人爭光呀 361 00:17:08,507 --> 00:17:10,634 是呀，倫少，你不要讓我們失望 362 00:17:10,776 --> 00:17:12,004 我不是想令各位失望 363 00:17:12,144 --> 00:17:13,509 我也不是不喜歡讀書 364 00:17:13,646 --> 00:17:14,874 其實我很喜歡讀書 365 00:17:15,014 --> 00:17:17,073 可是因為家母久病纏身 366 00:17:17,216 --> 00:17:18,080 要是我離開她 367 00:17:18,217 --> 00:17:18,842 誰來照顧我母親呀 368 00:17:18,984 --> 00:17:20,884 我只好不愛江山愛母親了 369 00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:24,683 各位，各位，我倫兒他很孝順 370 00:17:24,824 --> 00:17:26,758 你們就不要再逼他啦 371 00:17:26,892 --> 00:17:28,553 請讓一讓，請讓一讓 372 00:17:33,265 --> 00:17:34,232 媽你做什麼？ 373 00:17:34,367 --> 00:17:35,698 老媽上吊死了 374 00:17:35,835 --> 00:17:37,234 你就可以安心的唸書了 375 00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:40,100 媽呀，你下來呀 376 00:17:40,439 --> 00:17:41,929 媽你不要逼我 377 00:17:42,074 --> 00:17:43,473 你打死我也不要讀書呀 378 00:17:43,609 --> 00:17:45,167 我情願上少林寺學功夫 379 00:17:45,311 --> 00:17:47,302 好，要上少林寺是吧？ 380 00:17:47,446 --> 00:17:50,347 若你能連過我三關，老娘就隨你的便 381 00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:51,472 是嗎？ 382 00:17:51,617 --> 00:17:53,710 好！各位鄉親，請退開一點了 383 00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:55,580 五魁手…三星照… 384 00:17:55,721 --> 00:18:02,718 三星照…四季財…六六順… 385 00:18:02,928 --> 00:18:03,587 承讓 386 00:18:03,729 --> 00:18:04,593 好！我認啦！佩服，佩服 387 00:18:04,730 --> 00:18:05,628 第二關，來呀 388 00:18:05,765 --> 00:18:06,527 你先 389 00:18:06,665 --> 00:18:07,632 你先 390 00:18:09,835 --> 00:18:11,063 十字 391 00:18:15,007 --> 00:18:16,065 太字呀 392 00:18:18,878 --> 00:18:19,776 天字 393 00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:25,884 龍字，成龍的龍字 394 00:18:26,018 --> 00:18:27,212 這樣都猜得到 395 00:18:29,255 --> 00:18:31,382 太簡單啦，鶴字嘛 396 00:18:34,727 --> 00:18:37,821 停，成龍出完出元彪，元彪的彪字 397 00:18:37,963 --> 00:18:38,691 不是 398 00:18:38,831 --> 00:18:40,662 我寫錯字啦，我把字抹抹抹掉了 399 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,665 是嗎？他媽的！ 400 00:18:43,068 --> 00:18:44,592 最後一回合 401 00:18:44,737 --> 00:18:45,965 挖乾淨你的鼻屎 402 00:18:46,105 --> 00:18:46,935 擤乾淨你的鼻涕 403 00:18:47,072 --> 00:18:48,061 來啦 404 00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:51,473 雞 405 00:18:55,581 --> 00:18:56,411 燒肉 406 00:18:56,549 --> 00:18:58,073 有看頭 407 00:18:58,684 --> 00:18:59,708 果然厲害 408 00:19:00,653 --> 00:19:01,415 橙 409 00:19:02,488 --> 00:19:03,352 蒜頭呀 410 00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:05,120 年糕 411 00:19:05,391 --> 00:19:07,484 豆沙餅 412 00:19:09,128 --> 00:19:10,060 大白菜 413 00:19:10,629 --> 00:19:12,096 元寶蠟燭香，是什麼？ 414 00:19:12,431 --> 00:19:13,489 沒有 415 00:19:13,632 --> 00:19:15,964 厲害，連沒有都聞到 416 00:19:16,836 --> 00:19:17,666 壺 417 00:19:19,305 --> 00:19:19,930 咸魚 418 00:19:20,072 --> 00:19:21,004 錯 419 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:21,799 臭豆腐 420 00:19:21,941 --> 00:19:22,635 又錯 421 00:19:22,775 --> 00:19:23,742 死老鼠 422 00:19:23,876 --> 00:19:24,865 還錯 423 00:19:25,177 --> 00:19:26,075 給個提示吧 424 00:19:26,212 --> 00:19:28,305 給個機會你舐一舐吧 425 00:19:42,962 --> 00:19:46,193 兒子，你輸了吧？ 426 00:19:46,332 --> 00:19:48,323 該好好唸書囉！ 427 00:19:59,378 --> 00:20:00,868 你老母有四個弟弟 428 00:20:01,013 --> 00:20:02,844 為什麼偏偏選中我？ 429 00:20:02,982 --> 00:20:04,244 二舅在開賭場 430 00:20:04,383 --> 00:20:05,680 三舅在開妓院 431 00:20:05,818 --> 00:20:07,683 四舅是賣豆腐的 432 00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:09,287 老媽說沒得選啦 433 00:20:09,421 --> 00:20:10,285 怎麼會沒得選？ 434 00:20:10,422 --> 00:20:14,358 小心呀！小心呀！ 435 00:20:14,493 --> 00:20:15,482 漢朝的 436 00:20:16,862 --> 00:20:19,729 古語有云，女子無才便是德 437 00:20:19,865 --> 00:20:22,095 沒什麼事，念什麼書嘛？ 438 00:20:22,234 --> 00:20:25,897 還有呀，讀書人都是很好色的 439 00:20:26,038 --> 00:20:27,266 萬一你發生什麼事 440 00:20:27,406 --> 00:20:29,431 我怎麼向你老母交代呀，真是的 441 00:20:30,276 --> 00:20:31,243 可是你不是常說 442 00:20:31,377 --> 00:20:33,072 在這間學校讀書的學生 443 00:20:33,212 --> 00:20:34,941 個個都是品學兼優的 444 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:35,705 對呀 445 00:20:35,848 --> 00:20:37,281 講是這樣講嘛 446 00:20:37,716 --> 00:20:39,206 爹，那你就是騙人的了 447 00:20:39,351 --> 00:20:40,375 多事 448 00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:43,120 我不管啦，我一定要去讀書 449 00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:44,916 大不了我自己交學費 450 00:20:45,057 --> 00:20:47,855 不是錢是問題，就算你沒有交學費 451 00:20:47,993 --> 00:20:50,052 舅舅也有責任照顧你呀 452 00:20:50,195 --> 00:20:50,820 不過 453 00:20:50,963 --> 00:20:53,363 我不想破壞我二十多年來訂下的規矩 454 00:20:53,499 --> 00:20:54,932 我這裡從來不收女學生的 455 00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:57,092 又不是讓你破例，是我破例嘛 456 00:20:57,236 --> 00:20:58,669 不行…我說不行 457 00:20:59,004 --> 00:21:01,666 那要不要我先繳一年學費？ 458 00:21:02,942 --> 00:21:05,069 我說過不是錢的問題呀 459 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,977 我不是為了些學費 460 00:21:09,114 --> 00:21:11,947 我看你那麼有上進心我就破例一次 461 00:21:12,084 --> 00:21:13,574 收你做第一個男校女生 462 00:21:13,719 --> 00:21:14,617 可是有條件的 463 00:21:15,321 --> 00:21:17,619 沒問題，什麼條件我都答應你 464 00:21:21,093 --> 00:21:22,856 條件就是以後不准碰我的古董 465 00:21:23,195 --> 00:21:24,184 謝謝舅舅 466 00:21:24,663 --> 00:21:27,131 爹，我也要，我要跟表姐一起唸書 467 00:21:27,266 --> 00:21:28,858 真是女大不中留 468 00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:30,866 哎呀，隨便你啦，出去… 469 00:21:31,003 --> 00:21:32,129 謝謝爹，謝謝 470 00:21:32,271 --> 00:21:34,569 沒什麼事不要進來啊，出去，出去 471 00:21:36,675 --> 00:21:39,405 我忘了行李了，舅舅 472 00:21:41,013 --> 00:21:42,480 那是最貴的那隻，完蛋了！ 473 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:49,352 我上學了 474 00:21:49,688 --> 00:21:51,121 知道啦，別吵著我睡覺 475 00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:52,850 天都還沒亮就要上學 476 00:21:52,992 --> 00:21:54,619 比挑大便的還要慘 477 00:21:55,361 --> 00:21:58,592 她的腳怎麼會這麼臭？真是輸得冤枉 478 00:22:02,501 --> 00:22:03,468 土地公公，我上學啦 479 00:22:03,602 --> 00:22:05,729 救命呀 480 00:22:08,374 --> 00:22:10,001 大叔你怎麼了？是不是有山賊呀？ 481 00:22:10,609 --> 00:22:11,735 有人要殺我 482 00:22:16,382 --> 00:22:17,314 我們快躲起來 483 00:22:51,350 --> 00:22:52,408 千萬別出聲呀 484 00:22:58,824 --> 00:23:01,156 識相的，你就把八皇爺交出來 485 00:23:01,293 --> 00:23:03,693 或許我會跟指揮使大人求情 486 00:23:03,829 --> 00:23:04,853 放你一馬 487 00:23:05,097 --> 00:23:08,157 你們這些狗賊，想要我交出八皇爺 488 00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:09,597 除非把我殺了 489 00:23:37,696 --> 00:23:38,822 千戶大人，他有同黨 490 00:23:38,964 --> 00:23:40,090 把他也殺了 491 00:23:40,733 --> 00:23:41,563 我是路人呀 492 00:23:42,434 --> 00:23:43,264 快走 493 00:23:56,882 --> 00:23:59,373 打打…龜波氣功 494 00:23:59,518 --> 00:24:00,610 人到哪去了？ 495 00:24:09,828 --> 00:24:12,228 這位小兄弟，這位小兄弟 496 00:24:12,631 --> 00:24:13,529 我只是想請問一下… 497 00:24:13,665 --> 00:24:15,565 不要說那麼多了，立刻離開這裡 498 00:24:15,701 --> 00:24:17,100 就當什麼事都沒發生過 499 00:24:17,236 --> 00:24:19,796 不，我只想請問一下 500 00:24:19,938 --> 00:24:21,963 你剛才的旋轉360度，是怎麼轉的 501 00:24:22,808 --> 00:24:24,070 沒家教！ 502 00:24:29,381 --> 00:24:30,780 你們東西掉啦！ 503 00:24:35,721 --> 00:24:36,688 天都快亮啦 504 00:24:36,822 --> 00:24:39,188 啊，慘啦，遲到囉！ 505 00:24:42,661 --> 00:24:43,719 不准吐痰、不准打架 506 00:24:43,862 --> 00:24:45,796 不准喧嘩、不准泡妞 507 00:24:46,064 --> 00:24:48,294 老媽，這麼多條校規怎麼念嘛？ 508 00:24:48,433 --> 00:24:50,060 只不過是校規基本法 509 00:24:50,202 --> 00:24:51,464 裡面還有校規條例 510 00:24:51,603 --> 00:24:54,265 校規條例，校規註解，有得你念了 511 00:24:54,606 --> 00:24:55,698 那，如果犯了錯怎麼辦呀？ 512 00:24:55,841 --> 00:24:59,368 沒什麼，要嘛罰站，不然罰錢 513 00:25:00,779 --> 00:25:03,179 不就是錢嘛！這有什麼大不了的？ 514 00:25:03,315 --> 00:25:07,274 你老爸多的是，這錢嘛不成問題 515 00:25:07,419 --> 00:25:08,443 這當然不是問題啦 516 00:25:08,587 --> 00:25:10,521 公子，這牌子拿進去登記呀 517 00:25:11,723 --> 00:25:12,655 走吧 518 00:25:16,328 --> 00:25:17,488 老媽 519 00:25:18,163 --> 00:25:19,187 鄧蓮如 520 00:25:20,132 --> 00:25:22,464 不用怕兒子，喂，你是什麼人？ 521 00:25:22,601 --> 00:25:25,627 他們是東方書院的學生，很壞的 522 00:25:26,071 --> 00:25:28,665 兄弟，看你一表人才 523 00:25:28,807 --> 00:25:30,434 不如到我們的東方書院來念吧 524 00:25:30,576 --> 00:25:32,737 是呀，這間學校不夠看的 525 00:25:33,011 --> 00:25:33,568 講文 526 00:25:33,712 --> 00:25:35,441 當今皇上的補習老師 527 00:25:35,581 --> 00:25:37,606 是我們學校的校董 528 00:25:37,749 --> 00:25:38,374 講武 529 00:25:38,517 --> 00:25:40,712 當今金科武狀元黃飛鴻 530 00:25:40,853 --> 00:25:42,878 是我們的訓導主任 531 00:25:43,021 --> 00:25:44,215 要講談判 532 00:25:44,356 --> 00:25:47,814 黑白兩道都有很多我們的校友呀 533 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,394 怎麼樣，鄧蓮如，跳槽過來吧？ 534 00:25:50,529 --> 00:25:51,359 我不跳 535 00:25:51,496 --> 00:25:52,053 什麼？ 536 00:25:52,197 --> 00:25:53,664 因為這間學校的校董是我老爸 537 00:25:53,799 --> 00:25:54,561 把牌子還給我 538 00:26:01,106 --> 00:26:02,038 還給我啦！ 539 00:26:09,147 --> 00:26:10,171 來呀，來呀 540 00:26:10,782 --> 00:26:11,680 討厭，把牌子還給我 541 00:26:11,817 --> 00:26:12,545 接住 542 00:26:16,555 --> 00:26:17,487 接住 543 00:26:25,964 --> 00:26:27,056 兒子，不要跟他鬥啦 544 00:26:28,133 --> 00:26:30,192 我們東方書院如日方中 545 00:26:31,069 --> 00:26:33,503 你不來就是你的損失，走！ 546 00:26:35,908 --> 00:26:37,773 小心香蕉皮 547 00:26:42,681 --> 00:26:43,670 厲害吧？ 548 00:26:44,883 --> 00:26:45,941 小心呀 549 00:26:50,088 --> 00:26:52,682 你沒事吧，有沒有受傷呀？ 550 00:26:52,925 --> 00:26:56,884 那個吃西瓜不把皮吃掉呀？我們走 551 00:26:57,029 --> 00:26:59,020 沒有人吃西瓜皮的嘛 552 00:27:07,506 --> 00:27:08,165 老闆 553 00:27:08,307 --> 00:27:11,208 倫文敘，是你啊？怎麼，上學是嗎？ 554 00:27:11,343 --> 00:27:12,867 先坐下來，休息一下 555 00:27:13,478 --> 00:27:15,810 你真命好，像我們可就辛苦啦 556 00:27:15,948 --> 00:27:17,347 能比我上學辛苦嗎？ 557 00:27:19,918 --> 00:27:20,646 什麼事情？ 558 00:27:20,786 --> 00:27:23,516 什麼事，你的豆漿那麼燙想燙死人 559 00:27:23,655 --> 00:27:24,849 對不起… 560 00:27:24,990 --> 00:27:25,979 還不快給我換一碗 561 00:27:26,124 --> 00:27:27,716 對不起，對不起…老闆 562 00:27:27,859 --> 00:27:28,826 讓我來 563 00:27:29,428 --> 00:27:30,190 七爺，不好意思呀 564 00:27:30,329 --> 00:27:31,523 媽的，我揍你！ 565 00:27:31,663 --> 00:27:33,756 我還沒打你，你就哎呀 566 00:27:35,467 --> 00:27:37,162 什麼人這麼兇？ 567 00:27:37,302 --> 00:27:40,396 那個就是銅頭七，大嶺山的惡人 568 00:27:40,539 --> 00:27:42,370 整天橫行霸道慣啦 569 00:27:42,708 --> 00:27:44,107 快點換一碗來，快去呀！ 570 00:27:44,543 --> 00:27:46,033 好，我幫你幫仇 571 00:27:46,178 --> 00:27:48,373 千萬不要呀，否則你會死得更慘 572 00:27:48,547 --> 00:27:50,071 沒事的，我裝瘋賣傻的整他 573 00:27:50,215 --> 00:27:52,240 讓他連氣都不敢吭一下，還笑咪咪的 574 00:27:52,384 --> 00:27:53,078 真的假的？ 575 00:27:53,218 --> 00:27:55,448 事成之後這頓我請，隨便你吃 576 00:27:55,587 --> 00:27:56,383 你希望我怎麼整他？ 577 00:27:56,521 --> 00:27:57,886 罵他全家大死人 578 00:27:58,023 --> 00:27:58,921 不是啦，好 579 00:27:59,057 --> 00:28:01,025 那就多加兩隻雞連他老媽一塊罵 580 00:28:01,159 --> 00:28:02,285 這樣子最好 581 00:28:06,264 --> 00:28:07,697 你幹什麼？ 582 00:28:08,133 --> 00:28:09,225 這隻鳥是我的 583 00:28:09,634 --> 00:28:10,828 小子，這隻鳥是過年的時候 584 00:28:10,969 --> 00:28:12,163 七爺花三十兩買的 585 00:28:12,471 --> 00:28:14,098 不可能，我可以證明 586 00:28:14,239 --> 00:28:15,171 怎麼證明？ 587 00:28:15,307 --> 00:28:17,104 我講什麼它都會跟我講什麼 588 00:28:18,477 --> 00:28:20,342 你如果讓這隻鳥跟你講話的話 589 00:28:20,479 --> 00:28:24,711 我就把它送給你，講呀 590 00:28:24,983 --> 00:28:25,915 臭小子 591 00:28:27,986 --> 00:28:29,385 再講呀，大死人 592 00:28:30,555 --> 00:28:31,579 你全家大死人 593 00:28:32,324 --> 00:28:32,881 繼續再講啊 594 00:28:33,025 --> 00:28:34,287 連你老媽一起大死人 595 00:28:36,695 --> 00:28:37,593 神經病 596 00:28:38,063 --> 00:28:39,052 白癡！白癡！ 597 00:28:39,398 --> 00:28:40,626 好呀，好呀 598 00:28:40,899 --> 00:28:42,059 倫文敘就是倫文敘 599 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:43,428 鬼才就是鬼才 600 00:28:43,568 --> 00:28:45,297 擦鞋都沒用，欠我兩隻雞 601 00:28:45,437 --> 00:28:46,529 沒問題，吃什麼全算我的 602 00:28:46,671 --> 00:28:47,968 真是井底之蛙 603 00:28:48,573 --> 00:28:50,131 彫蟲小技 604 00:28:50,475 --> 00:28:52,636 這位朋友，好像很有一手 605 00:28:52,778 --> 00:28:53,608 你不要死鴨子嘴硬 606 00:28:53,745 --> 00:28:54,575 是呀 607 00:28:55,013 --> 00:28:56,708 你信不信我用甘蔗打他的頭 608 00:28:56,848 --> 00:28:58,247 他不但不會翻臉 609 00:28:58,383 --> 00:29:00,078 還會叫我多打幾下呢！ 610 00:29:00,852 --> 00:29:02,410 信，除非他是你的女人 611 00:29:02,554 --> 00:29:03,282 是呀，是呀 612 00:29:03,422 --> 00:29:04,218 對呀 613 00:29:04,356 --> 00:29:06,688 那好呀，看好囉 614 00:29:17,536 --> 00:29:18,332 請坐過去一點 615 00:29:18,470 --> 00:29:19,095 幹什麼？ 616 00:29:19,237 --> 00:29:19,726 我打你 617 00:29:19,871 --> 00:29:20,633 你打我 618 00:29:20,772 --> 00:29:22,171 對不起，對不起，我認錯人啦 619 00:29:22,307 --> 00:29:24,468 我以為你是威震武林的銅頭七 620 00:29:24,609 --> 00:29:26,543 你沒認錯人，他就是銅頭七 621 00:29:26,878 --> 00:29:27,606 別耍我啦 622 00:29:27,746 --> 00:29:29,509 傳說中的銅頭七的頭堅硬如鋼 623 00:29:29,648 --> 00:29:30,615 連神木都可以撞倒 624 00:29:30,749 --> 00:29:32,512 你連甘蔗都頂不斷 625 00:29:32,651 --> 00:29:36,951 怎會是武功蓋世遠近馳名的銅頭七 626 00:29:37,255 --> 00:29:38,449 小子，小子 627 00:29:38,590 --> 00:29:40,490 江湖上真有這樣的傳聞嗎？ 628 00:29:40,625 --> 00:29:42,456 當然是啦，連歌也有人在唱 629 00:29:42,594 --> 00:29:43,356 怎麼唱？ 630 00:29:43,962 --> 00:29:45,156 銅頭七呀，銅頭七 631 00:29:45,297 --> 00:29:48,027 銅牆鐵壁都不夠看，1234567 632 00:29:48,166 --> 00:29:48,791 幹什麼？ 633 00:29:48,934 --> 00:29:49,798 我跟你唱歌嘛 634 00:29:49,935 --> 00:29:52,699 我告訴你，我千山萬水，四處尋找 635 00:29:52,838 --> 00:29:54,897 就為了一睹我偶像銅頭七的風采 636 00:29:55,707 --> 00:29:57,971 但是你騙我的，你不是他 637 00:29:58,443 --> 00:29:59,375 他不會那麼爛吧 638 00:29:59,511 --> 00:30:02,844 小子，我真是鼎鼎大名的銅頭七 639 00:30:02,981 --> 00:30:03,879 不會吧 640 00:30:04,015 --> 00:30:06,040 你不相信，來呀，你打我呀 641 00:30:08,019 --> 00:30:09,077 我站在這給你打 642 00:30:09,221 --> 00:30:11,280 打到你相信為止，來！ 643 00:30:11,890 --> 00:30:12,879 不好，我怕出人命 644 00:30:13,024 --> 00:30:14,685 不用怕，打啊 645 00:30:14,826 --> 00:30:17,351 你們都聽到，是他叫我打的，我打 646 00:30:19,197 --> 00:30:20,391 老闆，他真的打他 647 00:30:21,533 --> 00:30:23,330 沒道理不斷的，大概是我認錯人 648 00:30:23,468 --> 00:30:25,493 喂，你不能走啊，你不用力打 649 00:30:25,637 --> 00:30:28,105 甘蔗怎麼會斷呢？用力打！ 650 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,140 七爺，你的頭流血 651 00:30:30,475 --> 00:30:32,943 打死只蚊子，沒事的 652 00:30:33,078 --> 00:30:35,603 小子，你沒吃飯，再用力 653 00:30:36,748 --> 00:30:37,407 是你叫我用點力打的 654 00:30:37,549 --> 00:30:38,447 是啦 655 00:30:39,417 --> 00:30:43,217 波動棍！來啦 656 00:30:45,223 --> 00:30:46,281 七爺，七爺 657 00:30:47,526 --> 00:30:49,756 厲害，厲害，果然是銅頭七 658 00:30:50,095 --> 00:30:51,357 我回去會告訴我的鄉親 659 00:30:51,496 --> 00:30:53,361 佩服，佩服，再會 660 00:30:53,632 --> 00:30:54,599 過獎過獎 661 00:30:54,733 --> 00:30:55,597 七爺，沒事吧？ 662 00:30:58,670 --> 00:31:01,571 想不到我銅頭七，還這麼有名 663 00:31:01,706 --> 00:31:02,866 那麼多人來找我 664 00:31:03,608 --> 00:31:04,575 好，好！ 665 00:31:04,709 --> 00:31:06,233 好呀，厲害…果然打得兩下子 666 00:31:06,978 --> 00:31:08,240 七爺，你看他們 667 00:31:08,747 --> 00:31:11,113 沒想到你們兩個耍到了銅頭七 668 00:31:12,217 --> 00:31:16,517 你兩個臭小子，居然耍本大爺，別跑 669 00:31:16,855 --> 00:31:19,153 走啦，救命呀 670 00:31:42,347 --> 00:31:43,177 校長 671 00:31:43,615 --> 00:31:46,379 各位同學，首先 672 00:31:46,751 --> 00:31:48,150 恭喜，恭喜各位 673 00:31:48,553 --> 00:31:51,113 能夠加入我們明校書齊這個大家庭 674 00:31:51,423 --> 00:31:54,824 相信大家都知道能夠加入 675 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,919 我們這家學校已經是身份的象徵 676 00:31:59,297 --> 00:32:03,757 相信大家都清楚我們這間學校的校規 677 00:32:04,236 --> 00:32:06,363 如果那一個觸犯我們的校規 678 00:32:06,504 --> 00:32:08,734 輕則罰一點點錢 679 00:32:09,474 --> 00:32:14,207 重者罰很多很多錢，或更多更多的錢 680 00:32:14,713 --> 00:32:15,680 這有錢就行了嘛？ 681 00:32:15,814 --> 00:32:19,580 錯！是要有很多很多的錢才行 682 00:32:22,020 --> 00:32:23,988 坐下 683 00:32:24,322 --> 00:32:25,482 好，現在開始點名 684 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,118 林蛟 685 00:32:30,262 --> 00:32:31,456 有 686 00:32:32,063 --> 00:32:33,030 呂奇 687 00:32:33,164 --> 00:32:34,222 有 688 00:32:34,633 --> 00:32:35,600 毛仁勝 689 00:32:35,734 --> 00:32:36,792 有 690 00:32:37,135 --> 00:32:38,227 鄧蓮如 691 00:32:38,370 --> 00:32:39,337 有 692 00:32:39,838 --> 00:32:45,606 倫文敘…倫文敘 693 00:32:47,178 --> 00:32:48,975 柳先開 694 00:32:49,114 --> 00:32:52,606 有 695 00:32:53,918 --> 00:32:56,580 柳先開，為什麼第一天開學就遲到？ 696 00:32:56,721 --> 00:32:58,279 我不是柳先開，我是倫文敘 697 00:32:58,490 --> 00:32:59,218 我不管你是誰 698 00:32:59,357 --> 00:33:00,915 總之遲到就要罰，站一邊去 699 00:33:03,028 --> 00:33:04,325 柳先開 700 00:33:05,497 --> 00:33:06,589 盧大偉 701 00:33:06,731 --> 00:33:07,823 有 702 00:33:08,166 --> 00:33:09,258 有 703 00:33:10,702 --> 00:33:11,964 你們兩個誰是盧大偉？ 704 00:33:12,270 --> 00:33:13,498 他是，我不是 705 00:33:14,339 --> 00:33:14,896 那你又是誰呢？ 706 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:15,699 柳先開 707 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:16,499 站一邊去 708 00:33:16,641 --> 00:33:17,403 為什麼？ 709 00:33:17,542 --> 00:33:18,668 因為你遲到 710 00:33:23,348 --> 00:33:24,838 校長，家父叫我問候你 711 00:33:24,983 --> 00:33:25,711 誰是你老爸？ 712 00:33:25,850 --> 00:33:26,782 柳公權 713 00:33:29,621 --> 00:33:31,851 原來是柳公權的公子呀 714 00:33:31,990 --> 00:33:34,458 失敬失敬，請坐請坐 715 00:33:34,793 --> 00:33:35,953 家父也叫我問候你 716 00:33:36,094 --> 00:33:36,890 你老爸是那一位呀？ 717 00:33:37,028 --> 00:33:38,017 倫老權 718 00:33:38,463 --> 00:33:40,090 倫老…倫老權是誰呀？ 719 00:33:40,231 --> 00:33:41,095 誰是柳公權呀？ 720 00:33:41,232 --> 00:33:41,857 誰是柳公權？ 721 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:42,864 我老爸 他老爸 722 00:33:43,001 --> 00:33:44,400 柳公權的兒子不用罰 723 00:33:44,536 --> 00:33:45,594 倫老權的兒子就要罰 724 00:33:45,737 --> 00:33:47,034 好偏心呀 725 00:33:47,172 --> 00:33:48,833 對呀，太偏心了，不公平嘛 726 00:33:48,973 --> 00:33:51,203 大家不要吵，要公平是嗎？ 727 00:33:51,343 --> 00:33:53,607 好，我現在出個對給你兩個對 728 00:33:53,745 --> 00:33:55,269 誰對得上就可以坐下 729 00:33:55,413 --> 00:33:56,311 對不上就給我站一邊 730 00:33:56,448 --> 00:33:57,540 好呀 731 00:34:06,524 --> 00:34:08,719 現在我以金字邊為上聯 732 00:34:08,860 --> 00:34:12,796 「鐵錢鏟鋰鎰鑊」 733 00:34:13,398 --> 00:34:14,422 你們兩個誰先？ 734 00:34:18,002 --> 00:34:19,128 校長，你以金屬為題 735 00:34:19,270 --> 00:34:20,669 我就用水果好不好？ 736 00:34:20,805 --> 00:34:21,669 好呀 737 00:34:36,654 --> 00:34:37,382 校長 738 00:34:37,689 --> 00:34:40,021 「柑蕉桔梨蘿柚」 739 00:34:40,158 --> 00:34:42,956 好呀，好呀 740 00:34:43,094 --> 00:34:44,959 倫同學該你啦 741 00:34:45,096 --> 00:34:46,222 太好啦！ 742 00:34:46,831 --> 00:34:48,355 校長，他用水果 743 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,092 我就用飛禽走獸好嗎？ 744 00:34:56,141 --> 00:34:58,974 「雁鷲雕貍獅狒」 745 00:34:59,110 --> 00:34:59,974 校長 746 00:35:00,111 --> 00:35:01,840 好呀 747 00:35:01,980 --> 00:35:04,414 工整，工整，工整是工整 748 00:35:04,549 --> 00:35:05,106 可是意識不良 749 00:35:05,250 --> 00:35:05,944 一樣要罰 750 00:35:06,084 --> 00:35:06,709 這樣子要罰？ 751 00:35:06,851 --> 00:35:07,340 服不服？ 752 00:35:07,485 --> 00:35:07,974 不服 753 00:35:08,119 --> 00:35:08,813 不服你可以不讀 754 00:35:08,953 --> 00:35:09,578 不讀就不讀 755 00:35:09,721 --> 00:35:10,745 請 756 00:35:12,056 --> 00:35:13,216 表姐，我們走快點啦 757 00:35:14,526 --> 00:35:16,289 我被什麼電了一下？ 758 00:35:19,497 --> 00:35:21,362 受不了啦！ 759 00:35:22,801 --> 00:35:25,099 玉女 760 00:35:25,437 --> 00:35:27,132 倫哥哥 761 00:35:31,976 --> 00:35:33,341 倫哥哥 762 00:35:33,745 --> 00:35:36,111 玉女，我在這兒呀 763 00:35:38,817 --> 00:35:39,545 金童 764 00:35:39,684 --> 00:35:40,742 玉女 765 00:35:41,853 --> 00:35:42,285 金童 766 00:35:42,420 --> 00:35:43,148 玉女 767 00:35:43,288 --> 00:35:44,016 金童 768 00:35:44,155 --> 00:35:44,917 玉女 769 00:35:45,190 --> 00:35:46,487 金童玉女… 770 00:35:46,624 --> 00:35:48,592 行了嗎？能不能換一句？ 771 00:35:50,562 --> 00:35:51,551 玉女 772 00:35:53,298 --> 00:36:00,761 談戀愛 尚蓋贊 每天親像面夢 773 00:36:01,172 --> 00:36:08,704 看到你 心花開 滾水嘛變雞湯 774 00:36:09,147 --> 00:36:16,849 戀愛夢 尚迷人 愛你愛到流目油 775 00:36:17,121 --> 00:36:24,584 西門丁 麥當勞 摸仔埔嘛做陣去 776 00:36:25,029 --> 00:36:32,868 談戀愛 尚蓋贊 每天親像面夢 777 00:36:33,171 --> 00:36:41,044 戀愛夢 尚迷人 愛你愛到流目油 778 00:36:57,529 --> 00:37:03,490 談戀愛 尚蓋贊 每天親像面夢 779 00:37:03,635 --> 00:37:09,938 看到你 心花開 滾水嘛變雞湯 780 00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:16,612 戀愛夢 尚迷人 愛你愛到流目油 781 00:37:16,748 --> 00:37:23,085 西門丁 麥當勞 摸仔埔嘛做陣去 782 00:37:23,588 --> 00:37:29,527 愛你愛到流目油 愛你愛到流目油 783 00:37:29,661 --> 00:37:37,227 愛你愛到流目油 愛你愛到流目油 784 00:37:44,776 --> 00:37:47,370 你幹嘛？ 785 00:37:47,512 --> 00:37:48,501 跳舞！不… 786 00:37:48,646 --> 00:37:49,578 你們在幹嘛？ 787 00:37:49,714 --> 00:37:52,012 上學啦，不要理他，神經病 788 00:37:52,250 --> 00:37:53,683 上學 789 00:37:53,818 --> 00:37:54,978 爹 790 00:37:55,119 --> 00:37:56,245 舅舅 791 00:37:57,088 --> 00:37:59,318 不要叫我爹，叫我舅舅 792 00:37:59,457 --> 00:38:00,788 叫我校長 793 00:38:01,125 --> 00:38:02,558 校長 794 00:38:04,862 --> 00:38:07,023 各位同學，本校一向是男校 795 00:38:07,165 --> 00:38:08,564 這次破例收女生 796 00:38:08,700 --> 00:38:10,759 目的是提倡男女平等 797 00:38:10,902 --> 00:38:13,132 好讓大家都有書可以念 798 00:38:13,271 --> 00:38:14,932 不過我要警告你們 799 00:38:15,073 --> 00:38:17,200 千萬不要有意，或無意或蓄意 800 00:38:17,342 --> 00:38:19,606 或大意或小意想調戲女同學 801 00:38:19,744 --> 00:38:22,838 否則，就嚴重犯了校規 802 00:38:23,448 --> 00:38:25,780 重罰十萬兩銀，知道嗎？ 803 00:38:26,084 --> 00:38:26,812 十萬兩？ 804 00:38:26,951 --> 00:38:28,077 坐回去 805 00:38:29,954 --> 00:38:31,922 各位同學，今天第一節課呢… 806 00:38:33,257 --> 00:38:34,519 你回來幹什麼？ 807 00:38:34,659 --> 00:38:36,183 你不是不念了嗎？倫文敘 808 00:38:36,527 --> 00:38:39,189 這個書不能不讀，女… 809 00:38:39,330 --> 00:38:40,092 女什麼呀？ 810 00:38:40,231 --> 00:38:41,289 女…書中自有顏如玉 811 00:38:41,432 --> 00:38:42,660 我錯，我錯，甘願受罰 812 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,131 自扁一頓，站到一邊去 813 00:38:44,268 --> 00:38:45,428 愚子可教！ 814 00:38:45,903 --> 00:38:49,304 各位同學，從今以後，大家不要遲到 815 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,739 遲到就會令大家丟臉，對不對？ 816 00:38:52,877 --> 00:38:55,573 你們看倫文敘，木頭一樣地站著 817 00:38:56,848 --> 00:39:01,376 妹妹樣子好銷魂，曲線玲瓏沒皺紋 818 00:39:01,519 --> 00:39:04,181 蓮如想做惜花客… 819 00:39:04,455 --> 00:39:05,479 又寫情書 820 00:39:05,623 --> 00:39:06,681 還給我呀 821 00:39:06,824 --> 00:39:07,848 等等，別急別急 822 00:39:07,992 --> 00:39:08,754 還給我 823 00:39:08,893 --> 00:39:10,622 這小子學人寫情信，快來看 824 00:39:10,762 --> 00:39:11,888 別跑！ 825 00:39:13,898 --> 00:39:14,762 還給我 826 00:39:16,534 --> 00:39:18,900 快來看快來看，有人居然寫情書 827 00:39:19,037 --> 00:39:22,370 你們看，你們學校出了個情聖 828 00:39:29,514 --> 00:39:32,847 快來看…情聖寫情書 829 00:39:33,618 --> 00:39:35,586 把信還給我… 830 00:39:36,921 --> 00:39:39,151 他把名字撕掉了 831 00:39:39,991 --> 00:39:41,185 還給我… 832 00:39:43,027 --> 00:39:43,891 他把名字給吃掉了 833 00:39:44,028 --> 00:39:44,722 真是豈有此理 834 00:39:44,862 --> 00:39:47,558 好！我把情書念給大家聽 835 00:39:48,633 --> 00:39:52,763 妹妹樣子好銷魂，曲線玲瓏沒皺紋 836 00:39:52,904 --> 00:39:57,739 蓮如想做惜花客，漫漫長夜難成眠 837 00:39:57,875 --> 00:39:59,934 他寫給誰看的？ 838 00:40:00,078 --> 00:40:01,136 誰知道 839 00:40:01,746 --> 00:40:03,475 卿卿我我過一生 840 00:40:03,614 --> 00:40:05,639 三書六禮擇良辰，擇良辰 841 00:40:06,150 --> 00:40:07,549 這情書寫的這麼肉麻 842 00:40:07,685 --> 00:40:08,709 也不知道寫給誰的 843 00:40:08,853 --> 00:40:11,686 帖到佈告欄，給大家看好了 844 00:40:14,859 --> 00:40:15,689 等一下 845 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,884 幹嘛？… 846 00:40:18,029 --> 00:40:19,394 你們太過份了 847 00:40:20,131 --> 00:40:21,325 我們一點都不過份 848 00:40:21,466 --> 00:40:23,696 這樣叫做公諸同好 849 00:40:23,835 --> 00:40:27,601 我們走，不用理他 850 00:40:28,439 --> 00:40:30,907 別送啦 851 00:40:40,785 --> 00:40:41,843 好呀… 852 00:40:41,986 --> 00:40:43,283 整個人彈出去了 853 00:40:44,589 --> 00:40:46,853 你是不是打了他一拳呀 854 00:40:46,991 --> 00:40:48,253 你說呢？ 855 00:40:50,561 --> 00:40:52,256 流鼻血啦… 856 00:40:52,764 --> 00:40:54,527 我的頭好暈呀，還不快扶我！ 857 00:40:54,866 --> 00:40:56,834 這次放你一馬，下次你死定啦 858 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:03,634 對不起借過 859 00:41:03,908 --> 00:41:05,398 這寫給誰的呀 860 00:41:05,543 --> 00:41:06,908 不能看 861 00:41:07,311 --> 00:41:08,141 他幹麼？ 862 00:41:08,279 --> 00:41:09,211 寄信吧 863 00:41:09,347 --> 00:41:10,541 難道是寄給我的？ 864 00:41:15,987 --> 00:41:17,511 返回坐位… 865 00:41:20,024 --> 00:41:20,922 各位同學 866 00:41:21,058 --> 00:41:23,526 由於今年的同學來自四面八面 867 00:41:24,662 --> 00:41:29,099 尖嘴猴腮的也有，凹凹凸凸的也有 868 00:41:29,233 --> 00:41:31,224 斜眼口臭的也有 869 00:41:32,036 --> 00:41:34,800 所以今天要跟大家進行一個測驗 870 00:41:35,273 --> 00:41:37,207 看看你們到底是天才還是蠢材 871 00:41:40,411 --> 00:41:43,107 你們兩個不用考了，坐下坐下 872 00:41:43,981 --> 00:41:46,313 各位同學今天每個人要答一個問題 873 00:41:46,717 --> 00:41:48,878 答中了就可以列為優等生 874 00:41:49,453 --> 00:41:50,511 就由你開始 875 00:41:51,923 --> 00:41:54,790 一個人，他一餐吃十隻牛，為什麼？ 876 00:41:54,926 --> 00:41:56,757 因為他好吃…不… 877 00:41:56,894 --> 00:41:59,089 因為他討厭牛 878 00:41:59,864 --> 00:42:00,831 錯 879 00:42:01,866 --> 00:42:03,299 因為他吃的是蝸牛 880 00:42:04,068 --> 00:42:05,262 劣等生 881 00:42:06,704 --> 00:42:07,693 校長 882 00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,799 鄧蓮如，你的問題是這樣的 883 00:42:11,209 --> 00:42:12,437 如果我欠你一兩銀子 884 00:42:12,577 --> 00:42:13,942 現在我還給你十兩銀子 885 00:42:14,078 --> 00:42:15,875 你要找回我多少兩銀子啊？ 886 00:42:16,781 --> 00:42:17,805 想清楚 887 00:42:20,818 --> 00:42:22,012 九兩銀子對吧，校長 888 00:42:22,153 --> 00:42:24,485 對…對，聰明，聰明 889 00:42:24,622 --> 00:42:26,783 優等生，坐下，坐下 890 00:42:28,359 --> 00:42:29,087 張活游 891 00:42:30,194 --> 00:42:31,957 有什麼東西是借了不用還的 892 00:42:32,096 --> 00:42:33,358 借老爹的錢 893 00:42:34,765 --> 00:42:35,959 借你個頭 894 00:42:36,300 --> 00:42:37,324 是借過 895 00:42:41,305 --> 00:42:44,138 柳先開，桌上有一杯茶 896 00:42:44,475 --> 00:42:46,272 讓你把它喝掉 897 00:42:46,410 --> 00:42:48,275 但不准用手，有什麼辦法？ 898 00:43:06,931 --> 00:43:07,795 合不合格呀？ 899 00:43:08,399 --> 00:43:11,368 不錯，有點頭腦，不錯，好，坐下 900 00:43:12,536 --> 00:43:14,231 該你啦，皇帝死了 901 00:43:14,372 --> 00:43:15,634 他的兒子當什麼？ 902 00:43:16,207 --> 00:43:16,832 當皇帝 903 00:43:16,974 --> 00:43:17,906 去死啦你 904 00:43:18,042 --> 00:43:20,408 當孤兒呀，蠢材 905 00:43:23,314 --> 00:43:25,111 人的身體有一部份 906 00:43:25,249 --> 00:43:27,683 有的人就硬梆梆，有的人就軟綿綿的 907 00:43:27,818 --> 00:43:29,615 大人的就長一點，小孩的就短一點 908 00:43:29,754 --> 00:43:32,518 漢人就毛少一點，洋人就毛多一點 909 00:43:32,657 --> 00:43:33,589 是什麼？ 910 00:43:34,425 --> 00:43:37,417 校長呀，那麼多人在，不好意思說嘛 911 00:43:37,561 --> 00:43:38,493 什麼？ 912 00:43:39,363 --> 00:43:40,728 小雞雞呀 913 00:43:40,998 --> 00:43:43,865 雞，雞你的頭，滿腦子都是壞思想 914 00:43:44,001 --> 00:43:45,593 手，是手呀 915 00:43:46,804 --> 00:43:48,772 這種話你也講的出來，真下流 916 00:43:51,309 --> 00:43:52,469 什麼帽，是不能戴的 917 00:43:52,610 --> 00:43:53,474 綠帽 錯 918 00:43:53,611 --> 00:43:54,407 高帽 錯 919 00:43:54,545 --> 00:43:55,341 圓帽 錯 920 00:43:55,479 --> 00:43:56,241 尖帽 錯 921 00:43:56,380 --> 00:43:57,005 方帽 錯 922 00:43:57,148 --> 00:43:58,080 你老母 923 00:44:00,818 --> 00:44:01,341 錯 924 00:44:01,485 --> 00:44:02,179 我老母 925 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,619 對啦，代我問候她 926 00:44:05,756 --> 00:44:06,984 謝謝你，校長 927 00:44:12,797 --> 00:44:16,858 各位，現在選班長，為了公平起見 928 00:44:17,001 --> 00:44:19,401 你們可以自由競選，每人一票 929 00:44:19,537 --> 00:44:20,162 校長 930 00:44:20,438 --> 00:44:21,132 你先選 931 00:44:21,272 --> 00:44:22,170 我選柳先開 932 00:44:22,306 --> 00:44:23,637 校長，我選柳先開 933 00:44:23,774 --> 00:44:24,604 校長，我選倫文敘 934 00:44:24,742 --> 00:44:25,709 我選柳先開 935 00:44:25,843 --> 00:44:26,901 我選倫文敘 936 00:44:27,044 --> 00:44:28,341 我選倫文敘 937 00:44:28,479 --> 00:44:29,605 我選倫文敘 938 00:44:29,747 --> 00:44:31,374 我選程情 939 00:44:33,317 --> 00:44:34,750 我也選程情 940 00:44:34,885 --> 00:44:36,876 有沒有搞錯呀，選個女生當班長 941 00:44:37,021 --> 00:44:37,919 她什麼本事？ 942 00:44:38,055 --> 00:44:39,454 這位同學，你這樣講就不對啦 943 00:44:39,590 --> 00:44:40,614 女生不能當班長 944 00:44:40,758 --> 00:44:42,658 難道你老媽不是女人嗎？ 945 00:44:42,793 --> 00:44:43,851 關我老媽什麼事呀 946 00:44:43,995 --> 00:44:45,292 你簡直是胡攪蠻纏嘛！ 947 00:44:45,429 --> 00:44:46,760 不要吵，不要吵 948 00:44:47,832 --> 00:44:50,494 為了公平起見，照舊規矩 949 00:44:50,634 --> 00:44:53,296 我出題目，誰要是對得最工整的 950 00:44:53,437 --> 00:44:54,734 就選當班長，贊不贊成？ 951 00:44:54,872 --> 00:44:55,702 贊成 952 00:44:55,840 --> 00:45:00,641 倫文敘、柳先開、程情你們三個出來 953 00:45:02,513 --> 00:45:06,540 去啦，不用怕 954 00:45:06,684 --> 00:45:09,278 聽好，你們每人作一首五言絕詩 955 00:45:09,420 --> 00:45:11,911 詩裡面要有一個圓字跟一個尖字 956 00:45:12,056 --> 00:45:13,580 倫文敘，你先 957 00:45:15,526 --> 00:45:19,758 硯台圓又圓，毛筆尖又尖 958 00:45:19,897 --> 00:45:22,559 一連寫三詩，中個文狀元 959 00:45:22,700 --> 00:45:24,327 好詩，好詩 960 00:45:25,836 --> 00:45:26,768 該你啦 961 00:45:27,638 --> 00:45:30,266 長弓圓又圓，箭嘴尖又尖 962 00:45:30,408 --> 00:45:33,502 一連發三箭，中個武狀元 963 00:45:33,644 --> 00:45:36,169 好，好，絕句，絕句呀 964 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:37,811 表姐，快去 965 00:45:38,215 --> 00:45:39,978 程情，你是不是有什麼補充？ 966 00:45:40,117 --> 00:45:40,981 有補充就說出來 967 00:45:41,118 --> 00:45:42,483 叫你了，快去啦 968 00:45:44,889 --> 00:45:50,122 肚皮圓又圓，十指尖又尖 969 00:45:50,261 --> 00:45:54,527 一胎生兩子，文武兩狀元 970 00:45:54,932 --> 00:45:57,059 程情好棒喔！ 971 00:45:59,103 --> 00:46:00,229 選她就對了 972 00:46:00,371 --> 00:46:02,134 很好，很好 973 00:46:03,007 --> 00:46:05,407 現在文武狀元都成了你的兒子 974 00:46:05,543 --> 00:46:08,637 好…好，恭喜文武狀元… 975 00:46:17,922 --> 00:46:20,288 自從八皇爺跟李萬龍走了之後 976 00:46:20,424 --> 00:46:21,982 朝廷非常之震怒 977 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:25,324 限我們在一個月之內把他押回京師 978 00:46:25,463 --> 00:46:27,556 否則我們腦袋難保 979 00:46:27,698 --> 00:46:29,290 指揮使大人，我們… 980 00:46:29,433 --> 00:46:31,162 不用多說，這是命令 981 00:46:31,302 --> 00:46:32,496 是 982 00:46:44,915 --> 00:46:46,439 快點說，李萬龍在哪裡？ 983 00:46:46,584 --> 00:46:47,551 我真的不知道 984 00:46:47,618 --> 00:46:50,382 還敢嘴硬，有人看到他來過這裡 985 00:46:50,521 --> 00:46:52,819 沒有呀，你殺了我也不知道 986 00:46:53,057 --> 00:46:55,355 你不說是嗎？我自己去找 987 00:47:09,974 --> 00:47:10,770 真缺德！ 988 00:47:10,908 --> 00:47:11,932 太狠了！ 989 00:47:15,012 --> 00:47:16,570 怎麼又是我？ 990 00:47:18,883 --> 00:47:20,009 各位同學 991 00:47:20,851 --> 00:47:22,944 今天有個好消息要跟大家宣佈 992 00:47:23,487 --> 00:47:25,114 為了提高本校的素質 993 00:47:25,256 --> 00:47:27,156 我們特別重金禮聘 994 00:47:27,291 --> 00:47:31,853 由京城請回來的訓導老師來教你們 995 00:47:32,129 --> 00:47:35,223 這位老師不單是玉樹臨風、風度翩翩 996 00:47:35,366 --> 00:47:38,028 而且還是文武雙全 997 00:47:38,869 --> 00:47:41,167 如果你們想作弄他的話 998 00:47:41,772 --> 00:47:44,104 只會自討沒趣，知道嗎？ 999 00:47:44,241 --> 00:47:45,401 我已經很久沒試過啦 1000 00:47:45,543 --> 00:47:46,510 我也想見識一下 1001 00:47:46,644 --> 00:47:49,135 信不信就隨便你們，他馬上就來 1002 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:50,338 祝各位好運 1003 00:47:52,416 --> 00:47:53,610 真的有那麼厲害啊？ 1004 00:47:53,751 --> 00:47:55,981 我老爸的話能信嗎？ 1005 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:57,087 那你有沒有他的遺傳呢 1006 00:47:57,221 --> 00:47:58,188 我當然沒有 1007 00:47:58,322 --> 00:47:59,653 你們不要吵了 1008 00:47:59,790 --> 00:48:01,280 不如我們耍耍他 1009 00:48:01,425 --> 00:48:02,653 怎麼耍？ 1010 00:48:02,793 --> 00:48:04,021 用老鼠 1011 00:48:04,528 --> 00:48:06,018 等老師上課的時候 1012 00:48:06,163 --> 00:48:07,221 把老鼠往他身上一丟 1013 00:48:07,364 --> 00:48:08,831 包管把他嚇的屁滾尿流 1014 00:48:09,300 --> 00:48:10,961 老鼠怎麼夠毒呢？ 1015 00:48:11,635 --> 00:48:12,260 什麼？ 1016 00:48:12,403 --> 00:48:13,836 加上一條蛆 1017 00:48:13,971 --> 00:48:16,269 蛆不夠勁兒啦 1018 00:48:16,407 --> 00:48:17,965 多加條四腳蛇 1019 00:48:18,108 --> 00:48:20,269 加上一條四腳蛇也不夠 1020 00:48:20,411 --> 00:48:22,811 毒蜘蛛，夠毒了吧？ 1021 00:48:22,947 --> 00:48:24,471 這還差不多 1022 00:48:24,915 --> 00:48:26,940 你們太過份了 1023 00:48:27,084 --> 00:48:28,551 用那些東西來耍新老師 1024 00:48:28,986 --> 00:48:30,180 再吵，連你一起耍 1025 00:48:30,454 --> 00:48:31,216 老師你們都敢耍 1026 00:48:31,355 --> 00:48:32,413 你們有沒有人性呀？ 1027 00:48:32,723 --> 00:48:34,452 這些東西都是你的 1028 00:48:34,592 --> 00:48:35,889 我只是試試看你們的人格 1029 00:48:36,026 --> 00:48:37,084 沒想到你們太毒辣啦 1030 00:48:37,228 --> 00:48:41,528 不是吧，程情，你是知書達禮的 1031 00:48:41,665 --> 00:48:42,893 我們應該向你多多的學習 1032 00:48:43,033 --> 00:48:44,000 你別自作聰明 1033 00:48:44,134 --> 00:48:45,624 我表姐的意思是說你們這樣子 1034 00:48:45,769 --> 00:48:46,895 還不夠過癮 1035 00:48:46,971 --> 00:48:47,665 不夠過癮？ 1036 00:48:47,805 --> 00:48:48,533 不是，不是啦 1037 00:48:48,672 --> 00:48:49,764 我是意思說不夠過份 1038 00:48:50,608 --> 00:48:51,404 不夠過份 1039 00:48:51,542 --> 00:48:52,668 幹嘛大驚小怪的 1040 00:48:52,810 --> 00:48:54,402 虧你們說自己點子多 1041 00:48:54,545 --> 00:48:56,172 一點創意都沒有嘛 1042 00:48:58,882 --> 00:49:02,010 我這個叫做「百雞齊鳴毒辣粉」 1043 00:49:02,319 --> 00:49:05,447 是由一百隻雞的雞頭、雞屁股、雞心 1044 00:49:05,589 --> 00:49:09,025 在烈日之下曬了七七四十九天磨成粉 1045 00:49:09,159 --> 00:49:11,627 再加上一點點通樂，吃下去以後 1046 00:49:15,699 --> 00:49:16,723 怎麼樣？ 1047 00:49:21,105 --> 00:49:23,767 不好意思，先借你的人參雞湯用一下 1048 00:49:23,907 --> 00:49:25,431 盡量用，盡量用 1049 00:49:28,846 --> 00:49:29,938 倫同學 1050 00:49:30,514 --> 00:49:32,345 這班同學就數你最機靈了 1051 00:49:32,483 --> 00:49:33,279 不是吧 1052 00:49:33,417 --> 00:49:34,406 是呀，是呀… 1053 00:49:34,551 --> 00:49:35,643 這個就交給你啦 1054 00:49:35,786 --> 00:49:36,878 好 1055 00:49:37,021 --> 00:49:38,045 拜託你 1056 00:49:40,691 --> 00:49:41,316 辛苦你了 1057 00:49:41,458 --> 00:49:42,652 不用假僊 1058 00:49:46,997 --> 00:49:48,259 起立 1059 00:49:48,766 --> 00:49:51,462 各位，免禮，免禮，各位同學請坐 1060 00:49:52,436 --> 00:49:54,529 小李，是我的外號 1061 00:49:54,872 --> 00:49:56,772 我的全名叫做李大春 1062 00:49:56,907 --> 00:49:59,398 從今天開始，我就是各位的訓導老師 1063 00:50:00,511 --> 00:50:03,810 不要跑，不要跑！站住 1064 00:50:11,655 --> 00:50:12,986 怎麼會長得這麼像？ 1065 00:50:13,123 --> 00:50:14,488 好啦，現在正式上課 1066 00:50:15,959 --> 00:50:17,893 至所謂君子無… 1067 00:50:18,028 --> 00:50:19,552 我說這個小李呀 1068 00:50:19,697 --> 00:50:21,756 小李是你叫的嗎，叫李老師 1069 00:50:22,199 --> 00:50:22,893 李老師 1070 00:50:23,033 --> 00:50:24,523 這位同學有什麼問題請發問 1071 00:50:24,668 --> 00:50:26,659 也沒有啦，我們看你今天是初來報到 1072 00:50:26,804 --> 00:50:29,432 我們做學生的也應該有點表示 1073 00:50:29,573 --> 00:50:31,336 這個湯是… 1074 00:50:31,942 --> 00:50:35,537 柳先開同學熬給你喝的 1075 00:50:35,679 --> 00:50:36,577 不用客氣 1076 00:50:36,714 --> 00:50:38,147 應該的，應該的 1077 00:50:38,582 --> 00:50:40,447 謝謝…謝謝柳同學 1078 00:50:41,185 --> 00:50:42,743 不客氣，是倫同學提議的 1079 00:50:45,456 --> 00:50:46,616 你還好吧，謝謝你 1080 00:50:46,757 --> 00:50:48,918 不用謝，藥材是鄧同學去買的 1081 00:50:49,193 --> 00:50:50,785 謝謝你，鄧同學 1082 00:50:52,129 --> 00:50:54,461 鄧同學，你在發抖哇 1083 00:50:55,366 --> 00:50:56,424 沒有呀，沒有呀 1084 00:50:56,567 --> 00:50:58,125 你身體不好，自己拿去補吧 1085 00:50:58,268 --> 00:50:59,030 不用了 1086 00:50:59,169 --> 00:51:00,568 不行呀，老師 1087 00:51:00,704 --> 00:51:02,535 他身體虛不能補的，不能喝 1088 00:51:02,673 --> 00:51:03,537 不用怕，喝吧 1089 00:51:03,674 --> 00:51:04,732 我不能喝 1090 00:51:04,875 --> 00:51:06,467 誰都不能喝 1091 00:51:08,379 --> 00:51:09,141 你們這些畜牲 1092 00:51:09,279 --> 00:51:11,440 我教你們那麼久連尿都沒請我喝過 1093 00:51:12,783 --> 00:51:14,444 李老師，我們學校的校規 1094 00:51:14,585 --> 00:51:16,246 上課時間是不准喝湯的 1095 00:51:16,387 --> 00:51:17,513 我拿去把它倒掉 1096 00:51:17,654 --> 00:51:18,382 校長 1097 00:51:18,522 --> 00:51:19,784 不用多說，繼續上課 1098 00:51:20,391 --> 00:51:22,188 這樣呀，坐下繼續上課 1099 00:51:27,431 --> 00:51:28,398 這些畜牲 1100 00:51:28,532 --> 00:51:30,830 我猜他們也沒膽子耍李老師的 1101 00:51:32,736 --> 00:51:34,829 我一定是以小人之心了 1102 00:51:36,807 --> 00:51:38,001 好香呀 1103 00:51:46,283 --> 00:51:48,046 好重的雞味 1104 00:51:54,958 --> 00:51:58,724 子曰「朝聞道，夕死可矣」 1105 00:52:02,499 --> 00:52:04,091 我們學校有養雞嗎？ 1106 00:52:04,835 --> 00:52:05,961 糗！ 1107 00:52:17,281 --> 00:52:18,248 看什麼？ 1108 00:52:21,385 --> 00:52:22,113 他幹什麼？ 1109 00:52:22,252 --> 00:52:23,685 在學雞叫 1110 00:52:23,954 --> 00:52:25,080 不是問你，問你 1111 00:52:25,222 --> 00:52:26,382 發雞瘋了 1112 00:52:26,657 --> 00:52:27,351 發雞瘋？ 1113 00:52:27,491 --> 00:52:28,389 怎麼辦，李老師？ 1114 00:52:28,525 --> 00:52:29,890 我怎麼知道，由他吧 1115 00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:31,752 由他？ 1116 00:52:37,534 --> 00:52:38,762 讓我知道是誰整我的話 1117 00:52:38,902 --> 00:52:39,994 我一定宰了他 1118 00:52:45,809 --> 00:52:48,801 各位同學我們明校自從二十年前 1119 00:52:48,946 --> 00:52:50,174 由我得過一次冠軍 1120 00:52:50,314 --> 00:52:53,442 歷屆以來，校際比賽都是吊車尾 1121 00:52:58,889 --> 00:53:00,948 所以今天我特別請了 1122 00:53:01,091 --> 00:53:02,558 李老師來訓練大家 1123 00:53:03,060 --> 00:53:06,120 希望為明校增光，贏得冠軍 1124 00:53:07,498 --> 00:53:11,457 不准笑，以後我們學校多了一項規矩 1125 00:53:11,935 --> 00:53:12,959 就是不准笑 1126 00:53:13,103 --> 00:53:15,765 還有不准吃雞！ 1127 00:53:21,378 --> 00:53:23,209 一二，一二，快點… 1128 00:53:23,347 --> 00:53:25,508 快點…快點呀 1129 00:53:33,690 --> 00:53:37,057 快…高一點 1130 00:53:46,136 --> 00:53:47,763 程情，乖乖的唸書呀 1131 00:54:22,005 --> 00:54:24,599 裡面請… 1132 00:54:25,342 --> 00:54:26,366 真是夠氣派 1133 00:54:26,877 --> 00:54:27,866 你們聽好 1134 00:54:28,011 --> 00:54:31,242 錢老爺每年都拿很多錢出來辦學校 1135 00:54:31,381 --> 00:54:32,075 等一下看見他 1136 00:54:32,215 --> 00:54:33,375 最要緊嘴巴甜一點，不要失禮 1137 00:54:33,517 --> 00:54:34,541 我一定幫你問候他母親 1138 00:54:34,685 --> 00:54:36,243 亂講話 1139 00:54:36,620 --> 00:54:38,645 這個古董花瓶很貴的 1140 00:54:38,789 --> 00:54:40,188 待會要送給錢老爺 1141 00:54:40,324 --> 00:54:42,224 拋來拋去，打破怎麼辦呢？ 1142 00:54:47,531 --> 00:54:50,022 人家那麼大，校長的那麼小 1143 00:54:51,835 --> 00:54:52,733 走啦 1144 00:54:53,870 --> 00:54:56,031 校長… 1145 00:54:56,173 --> 00:54:58,232 校長，你好，來… 1146 00:54:58,375 --> 00:54:59,808 我兒子快要出生了 1147 00:54:59,943 --> 00:55:01,911 能不能麻煩校長替我幫他取個好名字 1148 00:55:04,281 --> 00:55:05,248 你怎麼知道我才高八斗 1149 00:55:05,382 --> 00:55:07,145 我最內行的就是幫人取名字 1150 00:55:08,785 --> 00:55:09,911 我就幫他取個名字叫… 1151 00:55:10,053 --> 00:55:12,112 校長，叫潤發怎麼樣？ 1152 00:55:12,255 --> 00:55:14,485 家肥屋潤，人人生財好兆頭 1153 00:55:15,926 --> 00:55:18,394 要不然叫星馳嘛，星馳一定紅的 1154 00:55:18,528 --> 00:55:19,756 星你個頭呀 1155 00:55:20,831 --> 00:55:22,355 我就幫他取個名字叫做… 1156 00:55:23,100 --> 00:55:23,998 「能容」 1157 00:55:24,134 --> 00:55:25,226 能容？ 1158 00:55:25,302 --> 00:55:25,961 為什麼？ 1159 00:55:26,103 --> 00:55:27,127 為什麼呀，校長？ 1160 00:55:27,270 --> 00:55:31,001 是呀，能容者胸襟闊大，能容天下 1161 00:55:31,541 --> 00:55:33,133 多麼偉大，是吧？ 1162 00:55:34,544 --> 00:55:35,238 真不錯呀！ 1163 00:55:35,379 --> 00:55:37,108 好名字，多謝校長，謝謝，咱們走吧 1164 00:55:37,247 --> 00:55:38,441 再見啦，能容 1165 00:55:38,782 --> 00:55:39,714 老婆，你在這裡 1166 00:55:39,850 --> 00:55:41,875 老公，校長剛剛替我們的兒子 1167 00:55:42,019 --> 00:55:43,384 取了個好偉大的名字 1168 00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:45,283 真的，叫什麼名字啊？ 1169 00:55:45,422 --> 00:55:46,719 叫做「能容」 1170 00:55:46,857 --> 00:55:49,189 這是好名字，是不是？ 1171 00:55:49,326 --> 00:55:50,486 好名字 1172 00:55:50,627 --> 00:55:52,618 好？好你個頭 1173 00:55:52,963 --> 00:55:54,123 校長你沒事吧 1174 00:55:54,264 --> 00:55:55,288 有沒有攪錯，怎麼打人？ 1175 00:55:55,432 --> 00:55:59,061 我姓吳，你替我兒子取名叫「能容」 1176 00:55:59,202 --> 00:56:00,669 豈不叫「無能」啊？ 1177 00:56:01,738 --> 00:56:05,333 那也用不著打人，不好可以再改 1178 00:56:05,475 --> 00:56:06,635 叫「毛毛」 1179 00:56:06,777 --> 00:56:07,937 錢老爺到 1180 00:56:08,845 --> 00:56:12,042 恭喜錢老爺，恭喜錢老爺 1181 00:56:12,182 --> 00:56:15,640 謝謝…請坐… 1182 00:56:16,019 --> 00:56:17,611 錢老爺，今天是人逢喜事 1183 00:56:18,021 --> 00:56:19,852 請坐，請坐 1184 00:56:19,990 --> 00:56:21,048 錢老爺請坐 1185 00:56:21,191 --> 00:56:23,853 錢老爺，祝你福如東海，壽比南山 1186 00:56:24,161 --> 00:56:26,493 校長，聽說你收了一個高材生 1187 00:56:26,630 --> 00:56:28,564 你過獎，有一點資質而已 1188 00:56:28,699 --> 00:56:31,190 他叫倫文敘，文敘呢？ 1189 00:56:31,334 --> 00:56:32,699 校長，他在哪邊？ 1190 00:56:32,836 --> 00:56:35,896 正所謂「天口熱，溪水涼，手毛長」 1191 00:56:36,039 --> 00:56:37,336 就代表性慾強，我再看看 1192 00:56:37,474 --> 00:56:39,305 倫文敘，立刻給我過來… 1193 00:56:39,443 --> 00:56:41,308 來啦！改天出來我幫你摸摸骨 1194 00:56:41,845 --> 00:56:42,812 什麼時候可以打幾把？ 1195 00:56:42,946 --> 00:56:43,674 你說什麼啊？ 1196 00:56:43,814 --> 00:56:44,906 是牌 1197 00:56:45,382 --> 00:56:48,874 高材生，我看他泡妞最好了 1198 00:56:49,019 --> 00:56:51,214 你這樣講是什麼意思？ 1199 00:56:51,354 --> 00:56:52,184 沒什麼意思 1200 00:56:52,322 --> 00:56:53,687 你這分明是譭謗我學校的聲譽 1201 00:56:53,824 --> 00:56:55,121 是又怎樣？我高興 1202 00:56:58,929 --> 00:56:59,520 什麼事，校長？ 1203 00:56:59,663 --> 00:57:00,493 你自己不會看？ 1204 00:57:00,630 --> 00:57:01,824 兩位校長請坐 1205 00:57:02,999 --> 00:57:06,526 大家都是讀書人，武鬥不如文鬥 1206 00:57:06,670 --> 00:57:08,604 你們各派兩個代表出來 1207 00:57:08,739 --> 00:57:10,730 贏了就賞銀一千兩 1208 00:57:10,874 --> 00:57:12,671 輸了就把酒都喝光 1209 00:57:12,809 --> 00:57:13,867 不知大家意下如何？ 1210 00:57:14,010 --> 00:57:15,671 好，放馬過來 1211 00:57:15,812 --> 00:57:18,178 好，我就派能文、能武 1212 00:57:18,849 --> 00:57:19,907 我是對霸 1213 00:57:20,050 --> 00:57:21,642 我是對聖 1214 00:57:23,086 --> 00:57:24,053 我派倫文敘跟… 1215 00:57:24,187 --> 00:57:25,711 不用找啦，一個倫文敘就夠啦 1216 00:57:25,856 --> 00:57:27,153 我是「對母」 1217 00:57:27,858 --> 00:57:28,756 什麼對母？ 1218 00:57:28,892 --> 00:57:31,383 對你老母 1219 00:57:31,528 --> 00:57:32,893 你… 1220 00:57:33,029 --> 00:57:35,054 好啦，好啦，大家不要吵 1221 00:57:35,499 --> 00:57:36,591 我現在出對頭 1222 00:57:36,733 --> 00:57:38,223 八卦干為首 1223 00:57:39,236 --> 00:57:40,032 該你啦 1224 00:57:40,170 --> 00:57:41,899 五行金第一 1225 00:57:42,639 --> 00:57:44,539 百行孝為先 1226 00:57:44,674 --> 00:57:47,268 好，好，好，我現在出對子 1227 00:57:47,410 --> 00:57:52,746 南通州，北通州，南北通州通南北 1228 00:57:53,383 --> 00:57:56,841 東當鋪，西當鋪，東西當鋪當東西 1229 00:57:57,621 --> 00:58:00,249 大賭場，小賭場，大小賭場賭大小 1230 00:58:00,657 --> 00:58:02,147 好… 1231 00:58:02,292 --> 00:58:03,759 好…再來啊 1232 00:58:03,894 --> 00:58:06,556 月照紗窗，個個孔明諸葛亮 1233 00:58:06,696 --> 00:58:07,526 快對，快對 1234 00:58:07,664 --> 00:58:10,189 壽比南山，年年開心錢老爺 1235 00:58:10,333 --> 00:58:11,766 恭喜… 1236 00:58:12,102 --> 00:58:12,659 聽好了！ 1237 00:58:12,803 --> 00:58:15,203 似水流年，首首金曲梅艷芳 1238 00:58:15,772 --> 00:58:17,205 不愧為倫文敘，好 1239 00:58:18,942 --> 00:58:21,536 春前春後，春春富貴 1240 00:58:23,313 --> 00:58:25,543 袋左袋右，袋袋平安 1241 00:58:26,983 --> 00:58:28,780 上水居民居水上 1242 00:58:28,919 --> 00:58:29,476 怎樣？ 1243 00:58:29,619 --> 00:58:30,916 廈門賓客下面長 1244 00:58:31,054 --> 00:58:33,181 你講什麼？你講什麼？ 1245 00:58:33,323 --> 00:58:35,018 腿很長 1246 00:58:36,259 --> 00:58:38,056 五月黃梅天，又濕又熱 1247 00:58:38,195 --> 00:58:40,663 三星白蘭地，又香又醇 1248 00:58:41,464 --> 00:58:42,328 我放你媽屁 1249 00:58:42,465 --> 00:58:43,397 我對… 1250 00:58:43,533 --> 00:58:44,795 給你校長聞 1251 00:58:45,035 --> 00:58:46,969 干我什麼事？ 1252 00:58:47,103 --> 00:58:49,298 校長，校長 1253 00:58:50,574 --> 00:58:51,802 我們校際比賽一定贏你 1254 00:58:51,942 --> 00:58:53,034 你等著瞧好了 1255 00:58:53,176 --> 00:58:54,768 向校長，名師出高徒 1256 00:58:55,045 --> 00:58:55,909 過獎，過獎，別說那麼多，錢呢？ 1257 00:58:56,046 --> 00:58:57,741 一千兩 1258 00:58:59,549 --> 00:59:01,483 我又不認識你，你要拉我去哪裡？ 1259 00:59:02,118 --> 00:59:03,608 有聽說過強姦，沒聽過強賭的 1260 00:59:03,753 --> 00:59:05,311 進去，走呀！ 1261 00:59:05,455 --> 00:59:07,423 我戒了很久，不要戳呀，不要戳 1262 00:59:07,557 --> 00:59:09,286 大家都是讀書人，斯文點嘛 1263 00:59:09,426 --> 00:59:10,358 你哪間學校的？ 1264 00:59:10,493 --> 00:59:12,222 臭小子，你媽的賬還不出來 1265 00:59:12,362 --> 00:59:13,659 想讀書下一輩子，走 1266 00:59:14,598 --> 00:59:15,929 豪哥，他兒子我帶來了 1267 00:59:17,334 --> 00:59:18,323 我老媽呢？ 1268 00:59:19,102 --> 00:59:19,966 兒子 1269 00:59:20,103 --> 00:59:21,127 恐龍？ 1270 00:59:21,538 --> 00:59:22,664 我是你老媽 1271 00:59:23,073 --> 00:59:24,301 你是… 1272 00:59:26,042 --> 00:59:27,009 怎麼樣，認出來吧？ 1273 00:59:27,143 --> 00:59:27,768 老媽？ 1274 00:59:27,911 --> 00:59:29,208 錢帶來了沒有？錢呢，錢呢？ 1275 00:59:29,346 --> 00:59:30,074 你欠人家多少錢？ 1276 00:59:30,213 --> 00:59:31,077 二十兩呀 1277 00:59:31,214 --> 00:59:32,181 我不是叫你戒賭了嗎？ 1278 00:59:32,315 --> 00:59:33,179 你幹嘛賭那麼大？ 1279 00:59:33,316 --> 00:59:34,305 還不都是為了你 1280 00:59:34,451 --> 00:59:35,816 希望你吃得好，住得好 1281 00:59:35,952 --> 00:59:36,941 才在這碰運氣的嘛 1282 00:59:37,087 --> 00:59:40,784 老媽，你真是偉大，各位 1283 00:59:40,924 --> 00:59:42,448 你們有沒有見過這麼偉大的母親？ 1284 00:59:42,592 --> 00:59:44,787 今天在這裡，我想藉著這個機會 1285 00:59:44,928 --> 00:59:46,361 唱首歌給我老媽聽 1286 00:59:46,963 --> 00:59:51,662 世上只有媽媽好 1287 00:59:51,801 --> 00:59:52,859 會唱的大家一齊唱 1288 00:59:53,003 --> 00:59:57,269 有媽的孩子像個寶 1289 00:59:57,407 --> 00:59:59,932 幹什麼？不准唱，不准唱 1290 01:00:00,076 --> 01:00:00,974 多感人 1291 01:00:01,111 --> 01:00:03,079 好啦，明天是母親節 1292 01:00:03,213 --> 01:00:04,407 大家早一點帶老媽去喝茶 1293 01:00:04,547 --> 01:00:06,208 我們走吧，明天我們去吃叉燒包 1294 01:00:06,349 --> 01:00:08,214 別走，事情很簡單 1295 01:00:08,351 --> 01:00:09,682 要不還錢，要不做雞 1296 01:00:09,819 --> 01:00:11,286 我不做，要做你去做 1297 01:00:11,421 --> 01:00:12,547 做，做，做，做，做雞好 1298 01:00:12,689 --> 01:00:14,589 前途好，薪水高，有交通車接送 1299 01:00:14,724 --> 01:00:15,782 最要緊是客人要多 1300 01:00:15,926 --> 01:00:16,915 跟一個好的媽媽桑 1301 01:00:17,060 --> 01:00:18,755 媽你放心，一有空我一定來捧你的場 1302 01:00:18,895 --> 01:00:19,793 要死啦，兒子敢點老媽 1303 01:00:19,930 --> 01:00:20,862 不過話說回來 1304 01:00:20,997 --> 01:00:24,398 她去做雞你會不會點她，你呢？… 1305 01:00:24,534 --> 01:00:26,502 那就是囉，不要擋人財路，走走… 1306 01:00:26,636 --> 01:00:29,127 我說不能走，老娼，帶她去接客 1307 01:00:29,272 --> 01:00:31,297 不要動，欠債還錢而已 1308 01:00:31,441 --> 01:00:32,635 拿來呀 1309 01:00:35,011 --> 01:00:36,205 錢 1310 01:00:36,446 --> 01:00:38,277 二十兩呀！ 1311 01:00:42,552 --> 01:00:43,951 過你三關，賺你二十四兩 1312 01:00:44,087 --> 01:00:46,021 連利息都賺回來了，開 1313 01:00:48,358 --> 01:00:49,222 押 1314 01:00:49,359 --> 01:00:50,326 大 1315 01:00:50,460 --> 01:00:52,394 買小，我剛剛把把買大，輸到底了 1316 01:00:52,529 --> 01:00:54,929 娶老婆都要大的嘛，大 1317 01:00:55,065 --> 01:00:55,690 你存心跟我做戲 1318 01:00:55,832 --> 01:00:56,992 要你老媽去當雞是不是？ 1319 01:00:57,133 --> 01:00:58,100 我說買大就買大 1320 01:00:58,234 --> 01:00:58,859 小 1321 01:00:59,002 --> 01:01:00,094 好了沒有？ 1322 01:01:01,504 --> 01:01:02,596 小就小嘛 1323 01:01:03,039 --> 01:01:08,033 開，雙二一個麼，五點小 1324 01:01:09,879 --> 01:01:11,312 小子，算你走運 1325 01:01:11,648 --> 01:01:13,047 老媽好，老媽妙 1326 01:01:13,984 --> 01:01:15,918 乖，聽老媽的話，這把連莊小 1327 01:01:16,252 --> 01:01:17,116 沒有那麼巧，大 1328 01:01:17,253 --> 01:01:18,413 小 大 1329 01:01:18,555 --> 01:01:19,579 小 大呀 1330 01:01:19,723 --> 01:01:20,417 他媽的我說小 1331 01:01:20,557 --> 01:01:21,922 好了啦 1332 01:01:22,058 --> 01:01:23,616 吵來吵去，要吵到天亮啊？ 1333 01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:24,886 只准一個人講 1334 01:01:25,028 --> 01:01:26,586 大 小 1335 01:01:27,430 --> 01:01:28,829 算了算了…你說小，就小 1336 01:01:28,965 --> 01:01:30,159 那麼勉強，你說大就大好了 1337 01:01:30,300 --> 01:01:31,028 不要 1338 01:01:31,167 --> 01:01:32,361 你要是做雞的話，又說我害你的 1339 01:01:32,502 --> 01:01:33,469 聽你的，大 1340 01:01:33,603 --> 01:01:34,661 大還是小？ 1341 01:01:34,804 --> 01:01:36,101 大 1342 01:01:36,239 --> 01:01:40,869 開呀，雙三六十二點大 1343 01:01:42,679 --> 01:01:43,509 過了幾關啦？ 1344 01:01:43,646 --> 01:01:44,578 兩關 1345 01:01:44,714 --> 01:01:45,840 還有幾關？ 1346 01:01:45,982 --> 01:01:47,244 一關 1347 01:01:47,717 --> 01:01:48,979 兒子，這把買什麼才好呢，你說？ 1348 01:01:49,119 --> 01:01:50,051 老媽，你說 1349 01:01:50,186 --> 01:01:51,118 我沒有靈感，你說好啦 1350 01:01:51,454 --> 01:01:52,887 太重要，是最後一關啊 1351 01:01:53,390 --> 01:01:54,288 我說…大，大 1352 01:01:55,525 --> 01:01:56,822 好…小，小… 1353 01:01:57,560 --> 01:01:59,050 事關你的前途，你要想好喔 1354 01:01:59,195 --> 01:02:01,220 對…換大，換大，大 1355 01:02:01,498 --> 01:02:03,261 買定離手，開 1356 01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:04,094 等一下 1357 01:02:04,234 --> 01:02:04,996 等一下，等一下 1358 01:02:05,135 --> 01:02:06,159 既然沒有靈感 1359 01:02:06,302 --> 01:02:09,738 我們又買大又買小，一人一半 1360 01:02:09,873 --> 01:02:11,135 下好沒有？ 1361 01:02:12,375 --> 01:02:13,000 開啦 1362 01:02:13,143 --> 01:02:18,376 開，三個麼豹子通殺了 1363 01:02:20,083 --> 01:02:21,345 這下你死定啦 1364 01:02:21,985 --> 01:02:23,282 這…怎麼辦？ 1365 01:02:23,420 --> 01:02:24,444 我是幫不了你了，去做雞吧 1366 01:02:25,388 --> 01:02:27,219 沒有錯了！帶她去接客 1367 01:02:27,357 --> 01:02:28,051 是 1368 01:02:28,191 --> 01:02:29,488 不行… 1369 01:02:29,626 --> 01:02:31,093 不要動，不要動，你看清楚 1370 01:02:31,227 --> 01:02:33,388 你們給我看清楚這是什麼？ 1371 01:02:33,663 --> 01:02:35,824 豪哥，是東廠錦衣衛的腰牌 1372 01:02:35,965 --> 01:02:38,058 有眼睛，我告訴你 1373 01:02:38,201 --> 01:02:40,635 東廠裡面都是我的朋友 1374 01:02:40,770 --> 01:02:43,432 有誰得罪了我，就是得罪了東廠 1375 01:02:43,573 --> 01:02:44,665 我聽你在那放屁！ 1376 01:02:44,808 --> 01:02:45,968 我怎麼知道你說的是真是假 1377 01:02:46,109 --> 01:02:48,168 我也可以說這個磚頭是皇帝的玉璽 1378 01:02:50,780 --> 01:02:53,749 你怎麼當人家老大，讓我教教你吧 1379 01:02:54,584 --> 01:02:57,781 真正的腰牌是有夜光的，學著點 1380 01:02:58,054 --> 01:02:59,783 光，哪裡有光？ 1381 01:02:59,923 --> 01:03:02,585 這麼多的燈，就算它有光你也看不到 1382 01:03:02,725 --> 01:03:04,249 熄燈吧！ 1383 01:03:07,197 --> 01:03:10,064 好，我就要看個清楚，把燈吹熄 1384 01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:11,098 是 1385 01:03:14,437 --> 01:03:16,701 又說是夜光的，大哥，什麼也看不見 1386 01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:17,932 你被人騙了 1387 01:03:22,212 --> 01:03:23,907 還好你這小子夠精，不然的話 1388 01:03:24,047 --> 01:03:25,639 你會多出很多個老爸來的 1389 01:03:26,249 --> 01:03:27,216 沒事啦，不生老媽的氣 1390 01:03:27,350 --> 01:03:28,317 弄個宵夜給你吃 1391 01:03:28,451 --> 01:03:29,418 不用客氣了 1392 01:03:29,552 --> 01:03:31,486 看到你這個樣子，吃什麼都會吐出來 1393 01:03:31,621 --> 01:03:33,145 可以卸妝了 1394 01:03:33,890 --> 01:03:35,824 就怕我卸了妝之後，你會吐個不停 1395 01:03:35,959 --> 01:03:36,755 晚安 1396 01:03:36,893 --> 01:03:37,587 去哪？ 1397 01:03:37,727 --> 01:03:38,591 去死 1398 01:03:46,136 --> 01:03:47,433 吃吧！ 1399 01:03:48,171 --> 01:03:50,571 倫文敘，又被校長罰不准吃飯啦！ 1400 01:03:50,907 --> 01:03:52,966 對呀，罰我吃麵不用付錢 1401 01:03:53,109 --> 01:03:54,269 放你個屁 1402 01:03:54,410 --> 01:03:55,877 連屁都有得賣？ 1403 01:04:07,257 --> 01:04:09,452 小兄弟，我可不可以坐下來？ 1404 01:04:10,226 --> 01:04:11,215 那麼多位子，硬是要坐我這？ 1405 01:04:11,361 --> 01:04:12,385 想追我呀？ 1406 01:04:13,563 --> 01:04:16,123 小兄弟，我可不可以請教你一個問題 1407 01:04:16,266 --> 01:04:17,164 不可以 1408 01:04:17,300 --> 01:04:19,495 只要你告訴我這個腰牌是誰給你的？ 1409 01:04:19,636 --> 01:04:20,762 你要什麼有什麼 1410 01:04:22,972 --> 01:04:23,961 我女朋友 1411 01:04:24,507 --> 01:04:27,567 識相的就快告訴我，這樣對你有好處 1412 01:04:27,844 --> 01:04:29,175 不然的話… 1413 01:04:31,581 --> 01:04:33,572 夥計，埋單 1414 01:04:35,552 --> 01:04:37,110 你知不知道你已經有殺身之禍？ 1415 01:04:37,754 --> 01:04:39,745 那我自己付好了 1416 01:04:41,457 --> 01:04:43,482 最多把腰牌也給你 1417 01:04:43,726 --> 01:04:44,750 我不是要你的腰牌 1418 01:04:45,428 --> 01:04:47,123 我只想知道是誰把這腰牌給你 1419 01:04:50,533 --> 01:04:52,763 告訴你也行，可是你要答應我 1420 01:04:52,902 --> 01:04:54,494 千萬不要難為他 1421 01:04:55,038 --> 01:04:56,027 你媽啦 1422 01:05:06,516 --> 01:05:08,040 想陰我，沒那麼容易 1423 01:05:09,986 --> 01:05:11,214 不要臉，敢捅人家屁屁 1424 01:05:15,358 --> 01:05:18,885 救命呀… 1425 01:05:40,016 --> 01:05:41,415 好，是你逼我出手的 1426 01:05:48,424 --> 01:05:49,982 八皇爺和李萬龍在哪裡？ 1427 01:05:50,526 --> 01:05:51,959 腰牌是不是他給你的？ 1428 01:05:52,829 --> 01:05:55,161 如果你再不說出來，我送你上西天 1429 01:06:29,632 --> 01:06:30,530 多謝英雄相救 1430 01:06:30,767 --> 01:06:32,826 江湖兇險，有些事情你不知好比知 1431 01:06:32,902 --> 01:06:34,199 今天晚上的事千萬不要跟別人講 1432 01:06:34,337 --> 01:06:35,827 不然你會有殺身之禍 1433 01:06:36,272 --> 01:06:39,469 這位大俠，好面熟，不知在哪裡見過 1434 01:06:39,609 --> 01:06:40,803 我們是不是… 1435 01:06:40,943 --> 01:06:43,173 不用多說了，你我互不相識 1436 01:06:43,313 --> 01:06:44,644 自己小心了 1437 01:06:44,947 --> 01:06:46,778 英雄，英雄 1438 01:06:48,284 --> 01:06:49,911 互不相識？ 1439 01:06:55,358 --> 01:06:57,849 我們是來這唸書的，又不是來做苦力 1440 01:06:58,461 --> 01:07:00,861 你們坐在這裡做什麼，還不去練習？ 1441 01:07:01,130 --> 01:07:02,563 我們抗議，我們罷課 1442 01:07:02,699 --> 01:07:03,666 我們反對魔鬼訓練 1443 01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:04,858 反對魔鬼訓練 1444 01:07:05,001 --> 01:07:05,968 爭取民主自由 1445 01:07:06,102 --> 01:07:07,228 爭取民主自由 1446 01:07:07,370 --> 01:07:12,364 好好…你們不想練習，今天就休息囉 1447 01:07:12,809 --> 01:07:14,640 我以為明校的學生個個都聽話上進 1448 01:07:14,777 --> 01:07:19,737 想不到是塊朽木，朽木不能雕 1449 01:07:20,116 --> 01:07:22,084 如果你們想年年吊車尾 1450 01:07:22,218 --> 01:07:23,480 被人恥笑，被人奚落的話 1451 01:07:23,619 --> 01:07:24,779 你們就休息 1452 01:07:24,921 --> 01:07:26,513 去爭取你們的民主自由吧 1453 01:07:29,926 --> 01:07:33,487 好吧，自由啦… 1454 01:07:43,272 --> 01:07:44,603 老師 1455 01:07:46,175 --> 01:07:46,903 什麼事？ 1456 01:07:47,043 --> 01:07:48,943 老師，我剛才看你氣得 1457 01:07:49,078 --> 01:07:50,204 連胳肢窩的毛都豎起來了 1458 01:07:50,346 --> 01:07:51,608 所以不敢來煩你 1459 01:07:52,014 --> 01:07:52,810 是不是你的？ 1460 01:07:52,949 --> 01:07:54,644 是你的話趕快把它收起來 1461 01:07:57,587 --> 01:07:59,145 這是什麼東西？我從來沒見過 1462 01:07:59,288 --> 01:08:01,051 一個好學生應該路不拾遺 1463 01:08:01,190 --> 01:08:02,122 我送到衙門 1464 01:08:02,258 --> 01:08:03,282 不是你的還給我 1465 01:08:05,328 --> 01:08:07,592 這種東西不要拿出來玩，犯法的 1466 01:08:12,602 --> 01:08:13,967 你在想什麼？ 1467 01:08:14,737 --> 01:08:17,262 正所謂手毛長性慾強 1468 01:08:17,407 --> 01:08:19,204 舌苔厚口會臭 1469 01:08:19,342 --> 01:08:20,400 你說什麼？ 1470 01:08:20,543 --> 01:08:21,635 沒有啦 1471 01:08:21,778 --> 01:08:23,370 我想問你，一個人有沒有武功 1472 01:08:23,513 --> 01:08:24,639 看樣子能不能夠看出來的？ 1473 01:08:24,781 --> 01:08:26,339 李連傑可以呀 1474 01:08:26,582 --> 01:08:27,674 那李老師呢？ 1475 01:08:29,118 --> 01:08:31,450 老師，柳先開跟倫文敘打架 1476 01:08:35,358 --> 01:08:37,724 不要打啦… 1477 01:08:38,261 --> 01:08:39,125 為什麼打架？ 1478 01:08:39,262 --> 01:08:39,887 他說我舌頭有毛 1479 01:08:40,029 --> 01:08:40,791 他說我鼻孔臭… 1480 01:08:47,837 --> 01:08:48,963 兩個想試探我 1481 01:08:55,611 --> 01:08:56,669 連老師都打 1482 01:08:57,747 --> 01:09:01,183 打打… 1483 01:09:07,590 --> 01:09:08,682 你們有沒有搞錯呀，連老師都打 1484 01:09:08,825 --> 01:09:09,849 你們看，把老師打成這個樣子 1485 01:09:09,992 --> 01:09:11,084 就是嘛 1486 01:09:11,227 --> 01:09:11,886 你糗大了 1487 01:09:12,028 --> 01:09:12,892 什麼？你叫我打的 1488 01:09:13,029 --> 01:09:13,825 誰叫你出手那麼重！ 1489 01:09:13,963 --> 01:09:14,861 辦法你想的 1490 01:09:14,997 --> 01:09:16,021 你好像愈打愈亢奮 1491 01:09:16,165 --> 01:09:17,291 你打到簡直忘我 1492 01:09:17,433 --> 01:09:18,900 我看你眼珠子都打凸了 1493 01:09:19,035 --> 01:09:19,797 不是叫你不要打他頭嗎？ 1494 01:09:19,936 --> 01:09:21,028 不是叫你不要用腳踢他嗎？ 1495 01:09:21,170 --> 01:09:21,829 那你有沒有打他頭？ 1496 01:09:21,971 --> 01:09:22,494 有，那你有沒有踢他嗎？ 1497 01:09:22,638 --> 01:09:23,332 有 1498 01:09:23,473 --> 01:09:24,132 那你搞定他吧 1499 01:09:24,273 --> 01:09:25,001 不關我的事 1500 01:09:25,141 --> 01:09:26,108 也不關我的事 1501 01:09:26,242 --> 01:09:28,039 不關我們的事 1502 01:09:31,214 --> 01:09:32,613 我招誰惹誰了？ 1503 01:09:43,693 --> 01:09:45,217 閃開啦，你們還沒打夠？ 1504 01:09:52,001 --> 01:09:52,933 你們自己說 1505 01:09:53,069 --> 01:09:54,934 整天說文有倫文敘，武有柳先開 1506 01:09:55,071 --> 01:09:57,266 現在還沒比賽，就來個窩裡反 1507 01:09:57,406 --> 01:09:58,805 那個李老師說會訓導你們 1508 01:09:58,941 --> 01:10:00,806 現在真的導死啦 1509 01:10:01,110 --> 01:10:04,307 訓導主任…，倒在地上起不來 1510 01:10:04,447 --> 01:10:05,607 叫也叫不醒 1511 01:10:05,815 --> 01:10:08,716 贏定贏定，整天說贏定 1512 01:10:08,851 --> 01:10:10,318 脖子都讓你們打的「定」住啦 1513 01:10:10,453 --> 01:10:11,943 這回再輸，一定叫你們走路 1514 01:10:12,088 --> 01:10:14,318 校長，現在又還沒有比賽 1515 01:10:14,457 --> 01:10:15,754 我們也未必會輸呀 1516 01:10:15,892 --> 01:10:17,792 是呀，如果他們肯好好合作的話 1517 01:10:17,927 --> 01:10:19,121 比賽一定會贏的 1518 01:10:19,262 --> 01:10:21,253 多事，你，用命來贏啊 1519 01:10:21,397 --> 01:10:22,762 自己又不爭氣 1520 01:10:22,899 --> 01:10:24,628 出生的時候少了一點點東西 1521 01:10:24,767 --> 01:10:26,530 要不然的話，自己可以出去比賽 1522 01:10:27,036 --> 01:10:28,162 坐下 1523 01:10:29,872 --> 01:10:31,169 我懶的理你們啦！ 1524 01:10:32,275 --> 01:10:33,264 不痛 1525 01:10:33,609 --> 01:10:36,009 你們開心啦，走… 1526 01:10:38,114 --> 01:10:40,173 都是他們兩個 1527 01:10:40,316 --> 01:10:41,840 討厭！ 1528 01:11:02,238 --> 01:11:03,432 校長… 1529 01:11:03,573 --> 01:11:04,232 這一群猴子！ 1530 01:11:04,373 --> 01:11:05,305 還玩還玩？ 1531 01:11:05,441 --> 01:11:06,965 要出發了，還不快去換衣服 1532 01:11:08,945 --> 01:11:11,539 今天你第一次出賽，怕不怕？ 1533 01:11:11,681 --> 01:11:12,204 怕 1534 01:11:12,348 --> 01:11:13,315 去死呀你！ 1535 01:11:14,150 --> 01:11:15,549 爹早 舅舅早 1536 01:11:15,685 --> 01:11:18,119 還早，太陽都曬到腦瓜頂啦 1537 01:11:18,254 --> 01:11:19,744 還不快換衣服準備出發了？ 1538 01:11:19,889 --> 01:11:22,756 等等，順便進去叫那些猴子都出來 1539 01:11:23,025 --> 01:11:23,957 走吧 1540 01:11:25,995 --> 01:11:27,485 這裡是誰當家？ 1541 01:11:31,334 --> 01:11:32,164 幹嘛？ 1542 01:11:33,436 --> 01:11:35,028 我是校長，這兒是我當家 1543 01:11:35,304 --> 01:11:36,669 給我叫李萬龍出來 1544 01:11:36,806 --> 01:11:38,205 李萬龍？誰是李萬龍？ 1545 01:11:38,474 --> 01:11:40,806 我知道他在這裡，叫他出來 1546 01:11:40,943 --> 01:11:41,967 說歸說呀，不要動手動腳的 1547 01:11:42,111 --> 01:11:42,873 不然我扁你 1548 01:11:43,613 --> 01:11:44,875 爹 1549 01:11:45,915 --> 01:11:47,883 校長，發生什麼事？ 1550 01:11:48,551 --> 01:11:50,348 瘋狗，這只瘋狗亂咬人 1551 01:11:50,486 --> 01:11:51,384 你先站到旁邊去 1552 01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:53,317 大家讓開 1553 01:11:54,290 --> 01:11:57,384 快叫李萬龍出來，要不然 1554 01:11:57,526 --> 01:11:58,823 你們會死得很難看 1555 01:11:58,961 --> 01:11:59,950 我不管你是什麼人 1556 01:12:00,096 --> 01:12:02,087 上道的就把兩位小姐放開，離開這裡 1557 01:12:02,565 --> 01:12:03,657 好大的口氣 1558 01:12:10,006 --> 01:12:11,030 爹你沒事吧？ 1559 01:12:11,173 --> 01:12:11,969 沒事？你挨一掌試試 1560 01:12:12,108 --> 01:12:12,665 我幫你揉一揉 1561 01:12:12,808 --> 01:12:13,638 揉個屁啦 1562 01:12:18,447 --> 01:12:19,539 好也 1563 01:13:03,059 --> 01:13:03,855 不能驕傲 1564 01:13:03,993 --> 01:13:05,620 好棒，好棒… 1565 01:13:27,550 --> 01:13:28,414 走開 1566 01:13:38,494 --> 01:13:39,358 我來幫你 1567 01:13:39,695 --> 01:13:40,627 快叫李老師走 1568 01:13:48,671 --> 01:13:49,569 千戶大人 1569 01:13:49,705 --> 01:13:52,299 對小孩子們下手不要那麼重 1570 01:13:52,441 --> 01:13:54,102 夕違啦李大人 1571 01:13:55,544 --> 01:13:57,034 我就知道李老師不簡單 1572 01:13:57,179 --> 01:13:58,544 在扮豬吃老虎 1573 01:13:58,848 --> 01:14:00,645 卑職奉指揮使大人之命 1574 01:14:00,783 --> 01:14:03,047 專程請李大人到萬里香一聚 1575 01:14:07,890 --> 01:14:09,881 既然指揮使大人專程到來 1576 01:14:10,025 --> 01:14:11,287 我想不去也不行呀 1577 01:14:11,427 --> 01:14:12,416 老師，你… 1578 01:14:12,561 --> 01:14:15,052 放心了，我沒事的 1579 01:14:15,197 --> 01:14:16,755 今天的比賽，一定要贏呀 1580 01:14:16,899 --> 01:14:19,891 等我回來跟你們慶祝，我跟你去 1581 01:14:22,905 --> 01:14:24,930 校長，對不起 1582 01:14:26,275 --> 01:14:27,936 對不起就算啦？ 1583 01:14:31,914 --> 01:14:34,815 沒事…趕快換衣服出發，走啦 1584 01:14:39,321 --> 01:14:40,413 去哪呀？ 1585 01:14:40,823 --> 01:14:41,812 你知道的 1586 01:14:42,091 --> 01:14:44,651 我們不是已經說好，要好好合作的嗎 1587 01:15:04,013 --> 01:15:05,412 李大人，請 1588 01:15:15,424 --> 01:15:17,153 指揮使大人，李大人到 1589 01:15:20,262 --> 01:15:23,254 久違啦，李大人，近來好嗎？ 1590 01:15:23,833 --> 01:15:24,891 你叫人把我請來 1591 01:15:25,034 --> 01:15:26,899 不會只想知道我的近況吧 1592 01:15:27,036 --> 01:15:28,469 好，夠爽快 1593 01:15:29,471 --> 01:15:31,837 魏公公的為人你是知道的 1594 01:15:32,208 --> 01:15:34,301 你何必為了那隻狗跟公公作對 1595 01:15:35,344 --> 01:15:37,141 念在你我以往交情 1596 01:15:37,580 --> 01:15:38,774 只要你把他交出來 1597 01:15:39,181 --> 01:15:41,877 我可以作主，既往不究 1598 01:15:42,251 --> 01:15:44,913 道不同不相為謀，你的好意我心領啦 1599 01:15:45,054 --> 01:15:46,817 要我把王爺交出來 1600 01:15:46,956 --> 01:15:48,685 不可能 1601 01:15:49,458 --> 01:15:51,858 照你那麼說，就是要翻臉囉 1602 01:15:51,994 --> 01:15:54,224 別無他法 1603 01:15:54,363 --> 01:15:55,352 我樂意奉陪 1604 01:15:55,497 --> 01:15:56,327 放肆 1605 01:16:26,629 --> 01:16:27,857 校長 1606 01:16:27,997 --> 01:16:30,022 我們到處都找不到倫文敘跟柳先開 1607 01:16:30,366 --> 01:16:33,631 今年再贏了，就剛剛好20枝旗啦 1608 01:16:34,870 --> 01:16:36,838 校長，找不到吧？ 1609 01:16:37,172 --> 01:16:38,662 那個倫文敘跟柳先開真拿他們沒辦法 1610 01:16:39,608 --> 01:16:42,668 向校長，我們又見面啦 1611 01:16:43,479 --> 01:16:45,447 聽說你最近積極訓練你的學生 1612 01:16:45,581 --> 01:16:46,513 想跟我們比高下 1613 01:16:46,649 --> 01:16:47,308 好說 1614 01:16:47,449 --> 01:16:51,180 對呀…，每年都是我們贏，沒有意思 1615 01:16:51,320 --> 01:16:52,878 一個對手都沒有 1616 01:16:54,723 --> 01:16:57,590 你早上是不是吃了大便，嘴巴那麼臭 1617 01:17:03,799 --> 01:17:05,198 那兩個臭小子，不知道跑到那 1618 01:17:05,334 --> 01:17:06,301 校長，就要開始啦 1619 01:17:06,435 --> 01:17:07,732 還沒找到他們兩個，怎樣辦？ 1620 01:17:07,870 --> 01:17:09,963 隨便找幾個人先擋一下 1621 01:17:12,741 --> 01:17:13,435 程情 1622 01:17:13,575 --> 01:17:15,509 你們看，連煮飯洗衣服的都找來了 1623 01:17:15,644 --> 01:17:17,236 濫竽充數嘛 1624 01:17:17,479 --> 01:17:21,472 比賽開始，第一個項目是問答比賽 1625 01:17:21,617 --> 01:17:25,553 這個回合是搶答題，答對了就得一分 1626 01:17:25,688 --> 01:17:30,148 答錯了就扣一分，可以補答，明白嗎 1627 01:17:30,292 --> 01:17:31,259 明白 1628 01:17:31,393 --> 01:17:32,257 準備 1629 01:17:32,394 --> 01:17:33,190 準備，準備 1630 01:17:33,329 --> 01:17:34,796 這是一個成語題 1631 01:17:35,197 --> 01:17:38,997 請講出四個垂字為首的成語 1632 01:17:40,536 --> 01:17:41,127 明校 1633 01:17:41,270 --> 01:17:43,238 垂頭喪氣、垂死掙扎 1634 01:17:43,372 --> 01:17:45,135 垂涎欲滴、垂涎三尺 1635 01:17:45,274 --> 01:17:47,003 答對了，明校一分 1636 01:17:51,480 --> 01:17:52,845 接下來是常識題 1637 01:17:53,115 --> 01:17:56,016 孔夫子被譽為是最偉大的什麼家？ 1638 01:17:57,019 --> 01:17:57,678 明校 1639 01:17:57,820 --> 01:17:58,445 是儒家 1640 01:17:58,587 --> 01:18:00,555 錯，東方同學補答 1641 01:18:00,689 --> 01:18:01,348 是老人家 1642 01:18:01,490 --> 01:18:02,252 答對了 1643 01:18:03,859 --> 01:18:05,326 這樣也行？再說下去 1644 01:18:05,461 --> 01:18:07,224 我也是孔夫子，他也是孔夫子 1645 01:18:07,463 --> 01:18:08,327 這樣說不通嘛 1646 01:18:08,464 --> 01:18:09,488 怎樣，你不服氣啊！ 1647 01:18:09,631 --> 01:18:11,394 現在是機智問答 1648 01:18:11,533 --> 01:18:13,694 牆上有兩隻蟑螂，一公一母 1649 01:18:13,836 --> 01:18:16,304 母的被人打中了，掉到地上 1650 01:18:16,438 --> 01:18:19,032 那只公的沒被打中，也掉到地上 1651 01:18:19,174 --> 01:18:20,505 請問為什麼？ 1652 01:18:21,210 --> 01:18:22,472 明校書齊答 1653 01:18:22,611 --> 01:18:23,669 因為他們非常相愛 1654 01:18:23,812 --> 01:18:26,246 那只公的奮不顧身飛下去救她 1655 01:18:26,382 --> 01:18:27,246 錯 1656 01:18:27,583 --> 01:18:28,345 因為剛剛地震 1657 01:18:28,484 --> 01:18:30,008 又錯了，扣一分 1658 01:18:31,086 --> 01:18:31,916 東方補答 1659 01:18:32,054 --> 01:18:34,147 因為那只公的很開心想拍手 1660 01:18:34,289 --> 01:18:36,154 所以站不穩，就掉到地上 1661 01:18:36,291 --> 01:18:37,485 答對啦，得一分 1662 01:18:39,128 --> 01:18:40,720 這樣也行？ 1663 01:18:40,863 --> 01:18:41,727 這太離譜了吧？ 1664 01:18:41,864 --> 01:18:43,263 接下來是歷史題 1665 01:18:43,399 --> 01:18:45,993 成吉思汗有一次帶領十萬蒙古兵 1666 01:18:46,135 --> 01:18:47,864 去攻打城池 1667 01:18:48,003 --> 01:18:49,994 成吉思汗大聲下令 1668 01:18:50,139 --> 01:18:51,697 「衝呀，殺呀，上呀」 1669 01:18:51,840 --> 01:18:54,468 可是那十萬蒙古兵，沒人聽他的命令 1670 01:18:54,610 --> 01:18:57,807 請問為什麼，東方答 1671 01:18:57,946 --> 01:19:00,141 因為那些蒙古兵怕死 1672 01:19:00,282 --> 01:19:02,409 錯，明校補答 1673 01:19:02,551 --> 01:19:03,643 你會不會答？ 1674 01:19:03,786 --> 01:19:04,480 誰知道他說什麼？ 1675 01:19:04,620 --> 01:19:06,212 答對了 1676 01:19:06,722 --> 01:19:09,156 因為成吉思汗當時說的是漢語 1677 01:19:09,291 --> 01:19:12,260 那些蒙古兵聽不懂他說什麼，得一分 1678 01:20:25,534 --> 01:20:29,903 最後一題是數學題，現在是九比九 1679 01:20:30,038 --> 01:20:31,198 誰要贏得這一分 1680 01:20:31,340 --> 01:20:33,103 就贏得這個回合的比賽 1681 01:20:33,375 --> 01:20:36,139 請問一加一等於多少？ 1682 01:20:38,447 --> 01:20:40,608 不可能那麼簡單的，小心受騙 1683 01:20:42,217 --> 01:20:43,241 明校答 1684 01:20:43,385 --> 01:20:44,477 你會不會啊？ 1685 01:20:44,620 --> 01:20:45,780 不就等於二嗎？ 1686 01:20:45,921 --> 01:20:47,183 那有那麼容易？ 1687 01:20:47,322 --> 01:20:48,550 答不出要扣一分 1688 01:20:49,057 --> 01:20:49,819 怎麼辦呀？ 1689 01:20:49,958 --> 01:20:51,050 看他怎麼答 1690 01:20:51,193 --> 01:20:52,922 校長，一加一不就是等於二？ 1691 01:20:53,061 --> 01:20:54,858 你白癡呀？ 1692 01:20:54,997 --> 01:20:56,828 如果這麼簡單的話，人家就不會問啦 1693 01:20:56,965 --> 01:20:59,399 明校，快點答，我數到三 1694 01:20:59,535 --> 01:21:02,299 答不出也要扣一分，一 1695 01:21:02,638 --> 01:21:03,935 快點啦… 1696 01:21:04,173 --> 01:21:05,105 - 1697 01:21:05,507 --> 01:21:07,702 一加一等於… 1698 01:21:07,843 --> 01:21:08,810 - 1699 01:21:14,816 --> 01:21:16,545 對，就這麼簡單 1700 01:21:16,685 --> 01:21:19,483 一加一就等於二，明校加一分 1701 01:21:21,857 --> 01:21:24,587 九比十，這個回合明校勝 1702 01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:26,184 風水輪流轉 1703 01:21:29,431 --> 01:21:30,955 你三個臭小子，那麼簡單都答不出來 1704 01:21:31,099 --> 01:21:33,260 我都說二啦，二呀，二呀 1705 01:21:33,402 --> 01:21:35,802 王八蛋，敢陰我 1706 01:21:35,938 --> 01:21:37,599 我早說一加一等於二的嘛 1707 01:21:37,739 --> 01:21:40,902 大老爺，辛苦，辛苦，小小意思 1708 01:21:41,043 --> 01:21:44,706 看看，香蕉好漂亮 1709 01:21:44,913 --> 01:21:45,902 這又不同，早點說嘛 1710 01:21:46,048 --> 01:21:46,946 拜託，拜託 1711 01:21:47,082 --> 01:21:48,208 看我的，看我的 1712 01:21:49,451 --> 01:21:52,682 接下來是拔河比賽 1713 01:21:56,058 --> 01:21:57,025 各就各位 1714 01:21:57,993 --> 01:21:59,153 一二三開始 1715 01:22:02,130 --> 01:22:04,690 加油… 1716 01:22:21,683 --> 01:22:24,208 這個回合是東方書院贏 1717 01:22:24,353 --> 01:22:25,285 慘啦 1718 01:22:25,420 --> 01:22:26,819 幹嘛打我，關我什麼事？ 1719 01:22:26,955 --> 01:22:27,819 不知道 1720 01:23:08,330 --> 01:23:09,354 自己人呀 1721 01:23:21,743 --> 01:23:22,835 老師，小心呀 1722 01:25:15,257 --> 01:25:18,249 你們聰明的話就將八皇爺交出來 1723 01:25:18,393 --> 01:25:19,519 我就放一條生路給你們 1724 01:25:19,661 --> 01:25:20,628 他長的好醜 1725 01:25:20,762 --> 01:25:21,558 他的嘴好臭 1726 01:25:21,696 --> 01:25:22,788 他的雙眼好美 1727 01:25:24,666 --> 01:25:26,566 好，我對天發誓 1728 01:25:26,701 --> 01:25:28,760 你們能夠活著離開這裡 1729 01:25:28,904 --> 01:25:30,633 我從此退出江湖 1730 01:25:59,134 --> 01:26:00,066 老師 1731 01:26:33,368 --> 01:26:34,562 去死吧 1732 01:26:36,338 --> 01:26:37,498 真的有那麼硬 1733 01:26:46,982 --> 01:26:48,950 死光頭，來啦 1734 01:26:50,385 --> 01:26:51,374 真的是太硬了 1735 01:27:21,182 --> 01:27:22,809 王八蛋 1736 01:27:28,790 --> 01:27:31,384 去死吧，去死吧，去死吧 1737 01:27:39,367 --> 01:27:41,164 看你的頭硬，還是我的棍硬 1738 01:27:56,017 --> 01:27:56,915 頂住 1739 01:28:08,163 --> 01:28:08,754 沒事吧？ 1740 01:28:08,897 --> 01:28:09,659 沒事 1741 01:28:10,098 --> 01:28:11,030 多謝兩位相救 1742 01:28:11,900 --> 01:28:13,868 老師有難，怎麼能不幫忙呢？ 1743 01:28:14,002 --> 01:28:15,264 何況你根本打不過他 1744 01:28:27,716 --> 01:28:28,683 降龍十八掌 1745 01:28:28,817 --> 01:28:30,011 虎鶴雙形 1746 01:28:30,885 --> 01:28:32,011 我蕩棍勢 1747 01:28:32,153 --> 01:28:33,745 彈指神功 1748 01:28:34,356 --> 01:28:35,448 如來神掌 1749 01:28:37,125 --> 01:28:37,887 萬佛朝宗 1750 01:28:38,026 --> 01:28:39,926 我，我天外飛僊 1751 01:28:41,296 --> 01:28:42,058 死老頭，別跑 1752 01:28:42,664 --> 01:28:43,187 為什麼？ 1753 01:28:43,331 --> 01:28:43,956 讓他去 1754 01:28:44,099 --> 01:28:44,622 為什麼讓他走？ 1755 01:28:44,766 --> 01:28:45,630 他都給你們打成白癡了 1756 01:28:45,767 --> 01:28:46,995 你怎麼知道他是真的還是假的 1757 01:28:47,135 --> 01:28:47,999 真的也好，假的也好 1758 01:28:48,136 --> 01:28:49,194 這次敗在你們兩個手上 1759 01:28:49,337 --> 01:28:50,326 他沒面子再混下去了 1760 01:28:50,472 --> 01:28:51,439 說得也是 1761 01:28:51,740 --> 01:28:53,332 你們兩個都來了，那比賽怎麼辦？ 1762 01:28:53,775 --> 01:28:54,833 比賽？那你怎辦，李老師？ 1763 01:28:54,976 --> 01:28:55,738 那你怎辦呀？ 1764 01:28:55,877 --> 01:28:57,174 不用管我，快去參加比賽 1765 01:28:57,312 --> 01:28:58,939 好 1766 01:29:02,117 --> 01:29:05,211 最後這個回合是四人接力賽 1767 01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:09,047 目前的分數是九比九平手 1768 01:29:09,190 --> 01:29:10,817 誰要是贏了這個回合 1769 01:29:11,059 --> 01:29:14,756 誰就是今年的冠軍啦 1770 01:29:14,896 --> 01:29:17,194 接力賽嘛，有什麼好怕的 1771 01:29:17,332 --> 01:29:20,733 今年接力賽用的是棍，不是這一枝 1772 01:29:21,569 --> 01:29:23,298 是那兩根 1773 01:29:29,044 --> 01:29:29,840 我沒看錯吧？ 1774 01:29:29,978 --> 01:29:32,003 有沒有搞錯呀，這麼大一根呀？ 1775 01:29:35,050 --> 01:29:35,778 我抗議 1776 01:29:35,917 --> 01:29:40,013 抗議無效，比賽開始 1777 01:29:50,865 --> 01:29:52,992 加油，快點… 1778 01:29:59,974 --> 01:30:00,702 來不及了 1779 01:30:00,842 --> 01:30:01,740 那就快一點呀 1780 01:30:04,079 --> 01:30:05,944 接著… 1781 01:30:12,454 --> 01:30:13,182 這是最後一棒啦 1782 01:30:13,321 --> 01:30:15,653 你快去把它贏回來就算了，快點 1783 01:30:15,790 --> 01:30:17,849 快去 1784 01:30:18,059 --> 01:30:19,458 大塊頭，快點 1785 01:30:23,965 --> 01:30:25,796 沒被人壓死就算不錯了 1786 01:30:27,836 --> 01:30:29,770 加油 1787 01:30:33,241 --> 01:30:34,731 他們回來了！ 1788 01:30:38,646 --> 01:30:39,874 快點呀 1789 01:30:41,483 --> 01:30:45,715 拿著…你們來得太晚了 1790 01:30:45,854 --> 01:30:48,254 騎馬都追不上我，我先走了 1791 01:30:51,025 --> 01:30:51,855 再見了 1792 01:30:51,993 --> 01:30:54,257 大個子，你是不是在跳舞呀？ 1793 01:30:54,395 --> 01:30:55,555 咱們一塊跳 1794 01:31:02,303 --> 01:31:03,497 再見了 1795 01:31:03,638 --> 01:31:05,970 還差幾步，你快點… 1796 01:31:06,107 --> 01:31:07,506 快點…快點呀 1797 01:31:07,642 --> 01:31:09,507 就差幾步衝過去呀！ 1798 01:31:16,050 --> 01:31:16,914 快呀！ 1799 01:31:16,951 --> 01:31:18,316 你會不會做呀？ 1800 01:31:24,125 --> 01:31:24,955 什麼事那麼吵？ 1801 01:31:25,360 --> 01:31:25,917 看招 1802 01:31:26,060 --> 01:31:26,992 等一下 1803 01:31:36,704 --> 01:31:40,663 衝呀 1804 01:31:40,809 --> 01:31:42,674 加油 1805 01:31:45,213 --> 01:31:47,113 加油 1806 01:31:47,248 --> 01:31:49,682 我來啦！ 1807 01:31:50,185 --> 01:31:51,982 加油 1808 01:32:03,031 --> 01:32:05,295 贏了 1809 01:32:13,007 --> 01:32:13,974 我們贏了 1810 01:32:14,108 --> 01:32:15,871 我們贏了，我贏啦，我贏啦 1811 01:32:16,010 --> 01:32:17,034 我贏啦 1812 01:32:17,178 --> 01:32:18,372 你… 1813 01:32:19,981 --> 01:32:21,039 這是起點也 1814 01:32:24,552 --> 01:32:26,952 好呀，好呀 1815 01:32:27,355 --> 01:32:28,686 氣死我了 1816 01:32:28,823 --> 01:32:33,385 第21屆省城校際比賽，明校書齊獲勝 1817 01:32:33,895 --> 01:32:35,055 舅舅，我們贏了 1818 01:32:35,196 --> 01:32:36,823 我知道，我知道 1819 01:32:37,232 --> 01:32:40,030 好也，好也 1820 01:32:46,074 --> 01:32:47,666 你個臭小子，丟臉丟到家啦 1821 01:32:47,809 --> 01:32:50,243 你叫我怎麼見人呀，氣死我啦 1822 01:32:53,548 --> 01:32:54,105 太棒了 1823 01:32:54,249 --> 01:32:56,240 程情，叫那兩個小子把旗子拿過來 1824 01:32:58,219 --> 01:33:00,847 老娘，我都20年沒拿冠軍啦 1825 01:33:01,122 --> 01:33:02,885 這次能再次升旗，真是神明庇佑 1826 01:33:03,992 --> 01:33:07,223 不要再玩，喂，不要玩啦 1827 01:33:07,629 --> 01:33:09,688 你們不要鬧了 1828 01:33:09,998 --> 01:33:13,058 校長說叫你們兩個去把旗子拿下來 1829 01:33:13,568 --> 01:33:14,262 好呀 1830 01:33:17,839 --> 01:33:20,205 新科狀元到… 1831 01:33:20,341 --> 01:33:23,139 三年後，倫文敘終於高中 1832 01:33:23,278 --> 01:33:25,838 成為廣東第一位狀元 118905

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