All language subtitles for The Neighborhood S06E02 Welcome to the Awkward Conversations

Come on, Calvin,
j-just relax, baby.

How can I relax?

Our son may have gotten
a woman pregnant,

and he's not even married.

How are we gonna look
our pastor in the eye?

We?

You haven't looked him
in the eye since last Easter.

No! Somebody's
using the bathroom.

I'm s-- I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

But, please, go away.

So, do you see
anything yet?

Not yet.

Okay,
just so you know,

whatever happens,
I will support you.

Why would you need to support
me if it's negative?

I don't know, girl.
I ain't never done this before!

Ow!

Why are you freaking out?
I'm the one

who might have another
human growing inside me.

And I already prepaid a trip
to Cancún this summer.

I mean, I have travel insurance,

but I don't think
it covers unprotected sex!

Ooh.

Ooh, is hot?
Right?!

It's hot in here!

I always thought
when I had my first kid,

I-I'd have a house,
a dog, a wife,

my own drone racing team.

Oh, that's the pee stick.
Okay.

Oh. Two pink lines.

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood.

I can't believe my sweet,
little, innocent baby boy

is gonna be a father.

I know, Mommy.
I can't believe it, either.

If you had told me
one of our sons

would have had an oops baby,

I would have guessed
it'd be Malcolm.

Uh, yeah, okay, sure,
lash out at me.

I didn't raise that
little rawdogger.

- You know what?
- No, no, no, no.

Calvin, Calvin, Calvin, stop it.

You just shut up.

Ignore him, Marty.

Look, Mommy knows
that you're going

through a lot of
feelings right now,

but we're running
out of time,

so we got to pin down
a wedding date.

Wedding?

Mom, I told you, we're not
even in a relationship.

What does that have to do
with anything?

Okay, look, go
easy on him, Ma.

It's been a rough day
for lil' Nick Cannon.

Hey, neighbors.

How are we doing?

We brought champagne
and vodka.

Depending on whether
we're celebrating or,

uh, freaking out.

Grandma could use
some of that bubbly, baby.

Thank you.

Mom, really?

I'm sorry,
I'm just excited

that I'm getting
a little granddaughter.

You already know the sex?

Well, not officially,

but she's definitely
having a girl.

She's carrying high.

She's not even showing.

Not to you.

Look,
it doesn't even matter.

The important thing is
I'm getting a baby.

I'm-I'm having a baby.

Courtney is
having my baby.

You know what I mean!

I-I'm, I'm sorry, did, uh,

did you say Courtney?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

So Courtney,
who works at the Fusebox,

is the, uh...

baby mama?

Can Dave say
"baby mama"?

It's not racist.

But I don't like it.

Yeah, man,
why do you ask?

No reason.
It's nothing.

Hold on.

Because the way you're saying it

doesn't sound like nothing.

It's just
my HR experience talking.

Theoretically, Courtney could
sue the Fusebox for everything.

But that's only in theory and...

only if she's the type of person

who wants a ton of money.

Well,
that's everybody, Dave.

Marty, what were you thinking?

It was a one-time thing
and it happened

before Courtney
even worked at the Fusebox.

I'm not like Malcolm, sleeping
with my colleagues at work.

What?! Okay, okay.

Yeah, see, he always does this.

Deflects onto me
when he screws up.

Just like when we were teenagers
and you dented Mama's car

and screamed, "Uh, Malcolm's
got a bong in his room."

My God, the smell
from that thing.

By the way, Mama, he's still
got that bong in his room.

Malcolm! I told you
to get rid of that!

Marty got a girl pregnant, Mom!

Okay, you better
watch your tongue.

Dave, are you
listening to this?

Bongs and car wrecks
and pregnancies.

Is this what we have to look
forward to with Grover?

Oh, oh, God, no.

No, we're gonna do
a much better job as parents.

No offense, Calvin.

I'll do it.

Get out, Dave.

Ooh, Gemma, I have great news.

New episode of our show
just dropped.

Ooh, a new Blood Tide?

I love murder.

You know, I have a theory.

The body in the shrimp boat,
I think it's Don.

You know, we only saw his shoes.

And we know Don loves leather.

Oh, right, and he has
a shellfish allergy, too.

My theory is even smarter
than I thought.

I'm gonna go nuke
the Hot Pockets.

You get the TV
on the right input.

I can never figure that out.

What-what, now?

I can't watch it now.

But it's already
been out for an hour.

I won't be able
to go on social media.

Gemma, don't do this to me.

I have that board of trustees
meeting at school.

Oh, of course, yeah,
I suppose that's more important.

Hey, guys. Am I
interrupting anything?

- Yes, Malcolm, actually, you are.
- Well, that's great. I'll only be

one second. Thank you, Dave.

Listen, I just needed
some clarification

on the whole dating
Janelle situation.

I know that we work together,
but it's not like

Janelle works for me,
so I'm in the clear.

- Right?
- Well, you both work at USC,

so I don't know.

Have you officially disclosed
your relationship?

Uh, I mean, well, we do make out
in the hallway sometimes,

so I feel like
it's kind of out there.

In the hallway?

You got to move that stuff
into your office.

Right, Dave?

You probably just need to file

some sort of relationship
disclosure form.

But that'll make it
so formal, man.

Look, right now
it is great, okay?

I don't text her in
the morning, no problem.

But once I put that label
on it and don't text her,

then we got beef.

Well, if you want
to keep your job,

you may have to eat the beef.

J-Just sign the form!

Yes. Thank you, Dave.

- All right.
- I'll walk out with you.

All right.
Great, I'll just

be here alone
without the television

or Hot Pockets.

Guess it won't hurt
just to watch the recap.

Previously on Blood Tide...

"Pursuant to section seven
of the agreement,

"all parties agree
to indemnify in perpetuity

"the Fusebox
and all legal ownership partners

"from any legal action
resulting

"from interactions
that occurred in or outside

the aforementioned
business."

See? Simple.

No!
No, what does that even mean?

I don't know, Marty.

I just told our lawyers

you got freaky
with an employee.

He said get her
to sign that.

Since when do relationships
come with so much paperwork?

I got the same thing
here with Janelle.

You two do know
there's a thing called

"meeting a woman in a bar,"
right?

Don, don't eat that.

The ceviche has shrimp in it.

You'll go
into anaphylactic sho--

And Nicole emptied your EpiPen.

Dad, can you keep it down?

Oh, sorry, buddy.
You doing your homework?

Sure.

Isn't this the-the show
you watch with Mom?

This show? Uh...

Yeah, but...
this is just a preview.

It says you've watched
37 minutes.

Well, it's a,
it's a long preview.

But you know what?

You don't have to tell Mom
about this.

You're right.

I don't have to tell her.

But lying is wrong.

You just lied
about doing your homework.

Right, and-and two lies
would be a lot.

Y-You want me to go
to heaven, don't you, Dad?

Cut the crap, kid.
What do you want?

I want to bump
my curfew to midnight.

And get a pet snake.

No way.

10:00 and a hamster.

10:30 and a lizard.

Deal.

Hey, hey, hey.

Uh-oh.

The hitting coach
is here to hit on me.

No. No, no, no. Um...

You know, I was talking
to Dave, and, uh, you know,

he knows a whole lot of that,
uh, HR stuff, right?

And he was thinking that we need

to register our situation

with the university.

And by situation, you mean?

This, this thing.

How-how we are, to--
you know, uh, together.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think the word you're
looking for is "relationship."

Ooh-ooh.

I was gonna go
with the word "vibe."

Yeah. But...

yeah, I mean, we can go
with "relationship," yeah.

But-but I don't want you
to think I'm trying to push

that issue, okay?
It is not me.

This is coming from the top.

- Oh, "the top"?
- Yeah.

Wow. Yikes!

We don't want to mess
with the top.

Okay, okay,
all right, listen.

I'm trying to make sure we don't
lose our jobs over this...

you know...

- This vibe?
- Yes.

- You get it.
- Mm-hmm.

- Uh-uh.
- Mm-mm.

Not till we sign.

Huh?

The top could be watching.

You're worried
I'm going to sue you?

Me? No, no, not at all.

Uh, my dad, quite a bit, yes.

Well, you know what,
tell your dad

not to worry, I'm not after

his precious money.

Thank you.

Thank you for being
so chill about this.

Hey, thank you.

This really helps me
make my decision.

Oh, good.

Uh, what decision is that?

You know, this pregnancy
really caught me off guard,

and I didn't know what to do.

Oh, a-about having the baby?

Oh, no. No, no, no.
I'm having this baby.

I just didn't know
how I was going to raise a baby

so far from my family.

But now, seeing how you
and your family are tripping,

I realize I'm better off
going back home.

To Calgary?

Yes.

But that's in Canada.

Yeah, I'm aware.

And I had no intention
of going back there,

but in Calgary, me and my baby

will be surrounded by my family,
who will be supportive.

Unlike your family,
who thinks I'm a gold digger.

No.

No, not-not my whole family.

Just my dad.
A-And my neighbor Dave.

Ooh! I'm so nervous
about what's gonna happen

on tonight's new episode.

I don't know how you can eat.

Well, I had
a light lunch, Gemma.

My being hungry
is perfectly normal.

- Okay, start it. Start it.
- Okay, here we go.

Ugh! What do you
think's gonna happen?

Well, it's...

it's hard to say, really.

Oh, my God, that's hot.

Hot...

The Hot Pocket's hot.

I can't hear what the fishing
boat captain is saying.

It's not important.

How do you know?

Uh, I... I don't--
I don't. I don't know.

How-how would I? I don't know
- anything about this episode.
- Oh...

You know,
maybe it was important.

Do you want to go back?
- I should go back.
- No, y-you're still talking,

so now we have to go back.

I have something to confess.

Something horrible.

What?

Oh, man.

This is gonna be rough.

You know what?
Let me get that first.

Wha-- uh, you better not.
It says "spam likely."

Well, it doesn't say
"spam definitely,"

- so let me just answer it.
- No, Dave--

Spit it out. What did you
do? What did you do?

I watched the episode
last night, without you.

This was our show,
and I violated your trust.

It's okay.

No, it's not.

I deserve to be dead.

Just like Don.

Spoilers!

I'm sorry.

God, I'm sorry.
God, I'm a monster.

Just like Nicole
who emptied the EpiPen.

Dave!

I don't deserve you.
God, I hate that I'm so weak.

Dave, stop.

To be honest,
I'm a little relieved.

I've been trying to find
the right time

to tell you this.

You know how, for months
now, you've been saying

we should finally watch
the Barbie movie,

and I kept saying,
"Not tonight"?

That's because...

...I saw the movie without you.

You what?

Tina and I snuck off
to a matinee.

I'm-I'm sorry.

Sorry's not gonna cut it, Gemma!

You know how badly I wanted
to see the Barbie movie.

All of my blog followers
have been waiting

to hear my hot take.

I-If it makes you feel
any better,

you wouldn't have
liked it anyway.

- No? It was not good?
- No, you would have loved it.

- It was so good.
- I-I know I would have loved it!

That's what everybody says.

Well.

Courtney signed the agreement.

I hope you're happy.

Well, all right, I am happy.

Dad, she wasn't gonna sue us,
but she was upset

that we thought
she was a gold digger.

I never would have
called her that.

I'm not rude.

I just thought she was somebody
trying to stick me for my paper.

Well, your paper's
safe now, Dad,

because Courtney's
moving back to Canada.

What-what? Wait, what?

She's taking my baby to Canada?

No, no, no, that-that's too far.

That's-that's too cold.
That's too white.

Look, baby, there-there
are Black people in Canada.

Name two.

Drake,

and, uh, Courtney's mom.

I hope you're happy, Calvin.

He is.
N-No, I am not.

Baby, we can...

Look,

Courtney and I
hadn't figured out

how we were gonna raise
this baby together.

All I knew is I wanted them
to be a part of my life.

Now I'm losing my friend
and my baby.

Damn.

I really blew it this time, huh?

Yes, you did.

And if you don't fix it,

you better get your passport
and your puffy coat, Grandpa,

'cause we're moving to Canada.

Number 96.

Oh! That's me.

This requires both signatories
to be present.

Well, you see, uh,
that's the thing.

The other signatory, she's, uh,
she's not here yet.

Number 97.

Whoa, wait a minute, man.

Hey-- Whoa, no, no, sit down.

Sit-sit down.

Look, man, she should be here
any second, okay?

She had a tennis match
at, uh, a-at 8:30,

and, uh, maybe, maybe
she got caught

in one of those long
deuce situations.

That can happen. It can go long.

Or, uh...

...maybe she's not gonna show.

Oh, damn, do you think maybe
she got cold feet

from all the relationship talk?

Are you this needy
with the other signatory?

Malcolm.

Hey. You came.

You see? That's her.

Sorry I'm late.

I sprained my ankle
going for a drop shot.

Take good care of her.

I will.

Thank you, sir.

Do you,

Malcolm Butler,

attest that the statements
written here are true?

I do.

And do you, Janelle Finch,

attest that the statements
written here are true?

I do.

Your relationship disclosure
is approved.

Number 97.

Okay, baby.

Now, you sure
you don't need my help?

Yes. Look, I caused all
this. I need to fix it.

Okay, well, if it's not working,
just give me the signal

and I'll come in with the tears.

You know nobody can resist
my ugly cry.

Oh, okay, ooh, ooh, all right.

Okay, all right,
all right, okay.

Let's hope it
doesn't come to that.

Okay, come on.

Hey, Courtney?

Don't worry, I'm out of here.
I'm just packing up my things.

Oh, well, you're taking
quite a few pens.

Keep the pens. Keep the pens.

Listen, uh,

c-can I talk to you
for a second?

Ah, are those some more papers
that you want me to sign?

Uh, no. These are the ones
you already signed.

And, um...

What are you doing?

Look, Courtney, I was an idiot.

I just was thinking about

losing all of this,
and I forgot about

what was really important.

What's that?

Family.

My family. And it's growing now.

I mean, it includes your baby.

And in a weird way, you.

He's trying to say,
"We love you."

Oh, go ahead, baby.
You got it, you got it.

So...

I really, really hope
you change your mind and stay.

I know Marty does, too.

I promise you,
y-you won't be sorry.

Well, I admit,
I didn't really want to go back.

Don't go back. Don't go back.

Stay here and have the
baby. Look, we got snacks.

We got snacks, right here.

Wait, w-what's your company's
maternity leave policy?

Oh, well, usually... Whatever you want.

Right, Calvin?

Yeah. Yeah, right.
Uh-- cool, yeah. For sure.

- Yep, yep.
- Mm-hmm.

You got a deal.

- Oh, thank God.
- All right. All right, very good.

But I'm-a need that in writing.

Nice one.

The comeback, you know,

because I did the contract... She's not laughing, Calvin.

Well, damn.

Dad, what are you doing, man?

Haven't you caused
enough damage?

No, no, Marty.

Uh, look, I apologized,
and she's staying.

You are?

Yeah.

It's pretty hard to pass up
a ten-month maternity leave.

Ah. Take a year.

I got my grandbaby.

I got my grandbaby.

Do I have to wear this headband?

It's fun, baby.

It's part of the
whole Barbie thing.

I just feel like I look stupid.

Hot Pocket up.

No, okay, I'm good.

Hey, Dave.

Oh, you look great.

Could you guys believe that
I already owned all this stuff?

Yeah, we can.

Watch your fingers, Tina.

We're not at our house.

What are you talking
about, Calvin?

I'm not saying
that I lost my lizard,

but have any of you
seen a lizard?