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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,600 Wake up. 2 00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,700 Wake up. 3 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,900 Tom... 4 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,200 Tom. 5 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,700 Why are you filming with my camera? 6 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:06,100 Don't you want to have this on your own camera? 7 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,200 Cut it out. Stop it! 8 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,800 Stop it! 9 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,500 Cut it out! 10 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,600 Give it to me. 11 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,100 Give it to me! 12 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,800 Alicia, you look lovely today. 13 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,200 Tom... 14 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,800 ...there's something that I have to say to you. 15 00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:59,900 I think you're a horrible, useless person. 16 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,200 No one has ever hurt me as much as you have. 17 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:06,300 How To Stop A Wedding 18 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,600 Chapter 1 19 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:15,600 We welcome you on board this train from Malmö to Stockholm. 20 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,400 The estimated journey time is 5 hours and 17 minutes. 21 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,600 We wish you all a pleasant journey. 22 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,400 Excuse me! 23 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,800 Excuse me! 24 00:04:57,900 --> 00:05:02,200 You're sitting in my seat. 25 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,600 I booked that seat. 26 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:17,200 I'll throw up if I travel backwards. 27 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:23,400 Well, that's why I booked it. 28 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:27,900 I have to sit facing forwards. 29 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Have you seen my bag? 30 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,100 -No. -A bag that I... 31 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:52,300 Damn it! 32 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:08,700 Fuck! 33 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,800 So you didn't find your bag? 34 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,900 Obviously not! 35 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,600 What did you have in it? 36 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,000 Everything. 37 00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:49,000 I had everything in the bag. 38 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,600 You can't have had everything in the bag. 39 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:01,000 You can't have had everything in the bag. 40 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:05,100 Did I not have everything in the bag? 41 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:09,200 Sometimes it's just as well to lose everything- 42 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:12,300 -and start all over from scratch. 43 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:20,400 What's important is what you've got left. 44 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,000 What have you got left? 45 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,900 What's that? 46 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:38,300 This is my guitar. I've got that left. 47 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,300 Why did you take it with you? 48 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:45,500 Because music is my life. 49 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,800 I won it in a quiz. 50 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,300 What type of quiz - a Music Quiz? 51 00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,800 A Nature & Animals Quiz. 52 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,300 Strange prize... 53 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:11,300 ...or was it a consolation prize? 54 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:17,400 -Actually, it was 1st prize. -Congratulations. 55 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:28,300 What else have you got... 56 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,000 ...in that bag? 57 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,100 -A book. -What's it about? 58 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:06,300 It's about revenge. 59 00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:11,000 A wedding invitation. 60 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,800 Is that another quiz prize? 61 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:33,300 I'm impressed. You need a lot of luck to win on those machines. 62 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,400 They were a present actually. 63 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,900 My name is Philip... 64 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,500 I'm going to throw up. 65 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:15,000 Chapter 2 66 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,100 Don't you have any more questions? 67 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,900 Yeah, sure... 68 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:44,100 If you got to choose between smelling like a wet dog every day- 69 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:49,600 -and walking like a crab for the rest of your life- 70 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,100 -which would you choose? 71 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,300 How does a crab walk? 72 00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:02,500 You know, like a crab - sideways. 73 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,000 I don't know. 74 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,200 Sort of... 75 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:15,700 ...like this. 76 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,200 I don't think so. 77 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:26,000 Just as well you didn't get that question in the Animal Quiz. 78 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,200 So you would prefer to smell like a wet dog? 79 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:42,000 -You're well suited to being a crab. -Thanks. 80 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,800 Let's see what we've got here! 81 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,600 Oh dear... 82 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:35,000 Moisturizer for dry elbows. 83 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:40,200 -Do you have dry elbows? -No. 84 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:48,600 This is anti-ageing cream. 85 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,300 Hydrocortisone for rashes and stuff like that. 86 00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:58,500 -A book. -What's it about? 87 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,200 Time travel. 88 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,300 Some vitamins and minerals... 89 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,600 ...good to take when it's cold and dark outside. 90 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:18,100 -Some other tablets. -What kind of tablets? 91 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,400 What kind of tablets? 92 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:37,600 It's heart medication. 93 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,100 What's wrong with your heart? 94 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:55,000 I had a heart attack when I was fourteen years old. 95 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,700 It's unusual. 96 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,800 We were having a presentation in school. 97 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:13,400 I had prepared for it and I was standing in front of the class. 98 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:16,400 Just as I was about to start- 99 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:21,000 -I felt a pain and collapsed. 100 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:30,200 I had to learn to write again - the fine motor skills were affected. 101 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:36,300 I had to give up football and start playing chess instead. 102 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:45,400 But I'm fine now. I just take one every day. 103 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,400 Hello! 104 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:12,800 Hi, I'm on the train. 105 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,700 Good, how are you? 106 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:23,800 I forgot my bag on the platform. I've got nothing to wear. 107 00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:26,600 Have you got anything that I can borrow? 108 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,400 I'm just joking. 109 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,000 No, everything is fine. 110 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,800 I know. 111 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,800 No, I... 112 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,000 I promise not to flash my breasts in church. 113 00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:52,000 I'll be silent as a mouse. 114 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,600 OK, good luck! 115 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,700 Bye. 116 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:22,400 I'm going to a wedding too. 117 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,000 I shouldn't even be going to this wedding. 118 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,900 I'm not even invited. 119 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:54,500 -Amanda, my name is Amanda. -Hi! 120 00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:12,100 Chapter 3 121 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:29,100 So you're that guy then? 122 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,400 What guy? 123 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,900 When the priest asks if anyone has objections- 124 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,200 -you come storming into the church. 125 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,100 Maybe not quite like that. 126 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:53,200 That girl... What's her name? Alicia. 127 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,900 How did you meet her? 128 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:05,000 I met her in Prague one weekend last summer. 129 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,700 -Were you there with her? -No. 130 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,200 I was there on business. 131 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:20,200 I travel to the same place every year to do the same boring things. 132 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:28,000 There was a knock on my hotel room door the first night. 133 00:22:28,100 --> 00:22:32,500 There she was, Alicia. 134 00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:35,400 She was beaming! 135 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:42,600 She had a hamster in her hand and asked if it was mine. 136 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,800 A hamster? 137 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,600 Someone had left a fucking Czech hamster- 138 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:53,100 -in the corridor between our rooms. How often does that happen? 139 00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:55,300 What did it look like? 140 00:22:56,300 --> 00:23:02,800 Well, it was brown and white. It was quite ugly. 141 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:09,100 We tried to figure out who would take care of it. 142 00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:14,800 Eventually we agreed on joint custody. 143 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:20,000 I would care for it the first day and she came for it the next day. 144 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:25,800 The following day she came by my room- 145 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,500 -and we discussed what we would call it. 146 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,300 What did you call it? 147 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,100 Franz. 148 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,000 You know...Kafka. 149 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:53,100 We just sat there talking and... 150 00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:58,100 And you fell head over heels for her? 151 00:23:58,100 --> 00:24:00,600 Yes. 152 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:06,000 We kissed and then we spent the whole weekend together. 153 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,400 What was she like? 154 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:21,200 I'm not sure if I can describe her without sounding cliché. 155 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:27,800 It was as if she got the whole world to revolve around her. 156 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:35,000 When we went out to eat we were given a really nice table. 157 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:41,400 When we walked along the street people noticed us and... 158 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:48,000 It was really fantastic. I've never experienced anything like it. 159 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:56,200 Did she mention what she was going to do when she came home... 160 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,200 ...if there was anyone waiting for her? 161 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,400 No, she didn't. 162 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:16,000 How does anyone fall head over heels in love like that? 163 00:25:16,100 --> 00:25:18,600 What's it all about? 164 00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:25,200 -Well... -Is it her "angel hair"? 165 00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:29,600 Is it her big eyes? 166 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:37,700 Is it the polka dot dresses or some kind of fantasy? 167 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,400 Maybe it's the cupcake earrings! 168 00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:49,400 Damn it! 169 00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,000 -What are you doing? -You know her! 170 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:08,800 -Here you are, interrogating me! -I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. 171 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,800 -You know everything now. -I'm sorry. 172 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:20,500 Who knows, you might call her and ruin everything? 173 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,100 I'm not going to do that. 174 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:33,000 -What are you doing? -Go ahead and call her. 175 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,400 I'm not going to call her. 176 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,800 Call her. I'll get off at the next station. 177 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:45,700 -I'm not going to call her! -Why not? 178 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,700 -I'm not going to call her. -Why not? 179 00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:57,100 We're now approaching Alvesta. Next stop, Alvesta. 180 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:01,200 I'm not going to call her because... 181 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:07,200 ...no one will be happier than I if those two don't marry. 182 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,600 Chapter 4 183 00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:39,600 How come you're invited? 184 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:44,500 Because they felt guilty- 185 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:49,000 -and because they probably thought that I wouldn't come. 186 00:28:52,900 --> 00:28:56,100 But now they know that you're coming... 187 00:28:56,300 --> 00:28:59,600 ....so it could be an exciting wedding. 188 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,600 Yes, it could be... 189 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:13,700 ...especially after you stopped the whole wedding. 190 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,800 How are you going to go about it? 191 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,600 I'm not sure that I want to... 192 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,300 Go on, tell me! 193 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:31,900 You'll just have to wait and see it live! 194 00:29:35,300 --> 00:29:39,900 If you don't tell me, I'm going to call her. 195 00:29:44,900 --> 00:29:48,700 Why would you do that? 196 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,700 I'm doing the job for you. 197 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:57,800 I don't know that. I don't know what you're going to do. 198 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,600 OK! 199 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,000 I've got a brilliant idea. 200 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:17,200 I was inspired by a film... 201 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,600 ...and not just any film! 202 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,900 Love Actually, I'm sure you've seen it... 203 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,700 Maybe I've seen a quarter of it. 204 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:34,100 -How could you turn it off? -I wasn't impressed. 205 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:40,000 OK, well everyone except you has seen it. 206 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:46,800 There's a scene where the guy arrives at the girl's house. 207 00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:49,900 It's Christmas Eve. He rings the doorbell. 208 00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:52,900 She opens the door. 209 00:30:53,100 --> 00:30:55,600 It's Keira Knightly. 210 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:02,200 Alicia looks like her. 211 00:31:05,700 --> 00:31:10,500 He tells her not to speak because her husband is inside the house. 212 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,500 He puts on a tape with Christmas carols- 213 00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:18,800 -to make it sound like there are carol singers at the door. 214 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,200 And then he takes out... 215 00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:34,900 I'm sorry, I promise I won't say anything! 216 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000 This is great! 217 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:48,800 I've travelled 1000 miles and thought about this for 100 days 218 00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:57,900 Now I'm standing here and I have so much to give you 219 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:05,400 The first time I saw you my heartbeat felt so vital 220 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:16,800 The day my heart stops beating I want you by my side 221 00:32:21,100 --> 00:32:23,800 Come with me 222 00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:53,500 She's in love with an asshole! 223 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,300 She's marrying a jerk! 224 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,400 She loves a jerks and assholes! 225 00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:05,700 She doesn't care about your romantic "Hollywood cue cards". 226 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,800 -Don't you get it? -You're wrong. 227 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:16,600 She doesn't want you to love her for all eternity. 228 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,900 Try saying that her hair looks awful. 229 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:23,900 She likes that kind of thing. 230 00:33:25,700 --> 00:33:29,600 She loves that kind of shit. 231 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:57,900 We're now approaching Norrköping. Next stop, Norrköping! 232 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:05,800 This is not going to be the best day of their lives. 233 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,600 Chapter 5 234 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,800 -OK... -I think I should stand up. 235 00:34:42,500 --> 00:34:48,500 OK. You know that it's your turn to make a speech. 236 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,600 You've gone to the ladies' room. 237 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:55,600 You're standing there, looking at yourself in the mirror. 238 00:34:55,800 --> 00:35:01,800 You can see that you're ready for this. 239 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:06,500 You're prepared. You want to do this. 240 00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:10,500 You're confident. You have no regrets. 241 00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:16,600 You realize that the time has come. 242 00:35:17,900 --> 00:35:22,100 You go back to your seat. 243 00:35:22,100 --> 00:35:24,300 The microphone is in place. 244 00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:30,400 -Microphone? -You're nervous, but that's normal. 245 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,600 Take a deep breath. 246 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,600 Pick up the microphone and begin. 247 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,600 From the heart. 248 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,600 Hi everyone! 249 00:36:01,500 --> 00:36:04,500 Well, here I am- 250 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:09,600 -at the wedding between my friend- 251 00:36:14,900 --> 00:36:19,200 -and the love of my life. 252 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,500 I shouldn't be standing here. 253 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,600 This is a really bad idea. 254 00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:33,000 I spent 5 hours on a train today- 255 00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:36,400 -with one thought on my mind: 256 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:41,600 To get off and go the other way, as far away as possible. 257 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,900 But... 258 00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:49,600 Alicia... 259 00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:56,500 ...you look lovely today. 260 00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:07,600 Tom... 261 00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:15,600 ...there's something that I have to say to you... 262 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,600 ...because I want you to know this. 263 00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:33,500 I remember when we woke up at your place... 264 00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:37,500 I remember one time when we woke up at your place. 265 00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:40,500 You said that you didn't want me to leave. 266 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:44,600 So we played TV games all day... 267 00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:49,500 ...and had sex on your couch. 268 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:58,600 It was the happiest time of my life. 269 00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:08,500 I know that I shouldn't have set all my hopes on just one person- 270 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:15,600 -especially when that person is not the kind to set your hopes upon. 271 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,600 But that's what I did. 272 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:28,500 When you've lost everything you had... 273 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:37,600 ...you really wish that you had some kind of backup. 274 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:41,600 I didn't have that. 275 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,500 And now I'm left with nothing. 276 00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:55,500 I love you so much. 277 00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:00,600 No, I do not love you! 278 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:05,500 I think that you're a horrible person! 279 00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:10,600 You're useless, mean and stupid! 280 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:14,500 And I think that... 281 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:21,500 ...you're totally...terribly mean! 282 00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:28,500 No one in my whole life has hurt me like you have... 283 00:39:30,500 --> 00:39:36,500 ...but I never want to stop making love with you. 284 00:39:54,500 --> 00:40:00,500 So I hope that you both understand- 285 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:07,500 -why I have to do what I'm going to do now. 286 00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:16,600 You can stop filming. 287 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,500 Damn! 288 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,500 Give me the phone. 289 00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:40,600 Let's do yours now. 290 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,500 OK. 291 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:53,500 You might as well use a TV and show that bloody film! 292 00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,600 Say something, just say something. 293 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,600 OK. 294 00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:11,600 OK. Sit a little further away. 295 00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:15,600 OK, where am I? 296 00:41:17,500 --> 00:41:21,600 You're standing outside the church, behind a bush. 297 00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:25,600 You're freezing. 298 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,600 Your feet are wet. 299 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,500 Your face is wet. 300 00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:37,500 You look as if you've been crying. You look bloody awful! 301 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,500 You feel really worthless. 302 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,300 You have no confidence. 303 00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:50,000 You're really nervous... 304 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:55,500 ...but you head in the direction of the church anyway- 305 00:41:55,500 --> 00:41:59,600 -because you realize that if you don't, they'll get married. 306 00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:03,600 You hate yourself... 307 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:10,500 ...but you open the doors, go in and make a fool of yourself forever. 308 00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:16,500 Hi, hello! 309 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,500 I'm sure you're all wondering who the hell I am. 310 00:42:21,500 --> 00:42:27,500 There's only one person here who knows who I am... 311 00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:29,600 ...well, two! 312 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,500 And... 313 00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:38,500 ...actually I had planned on bringing a TV to show you a film. 314 00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:43,500 A very romantic Christmas Day kind of film that everyone loves- 315 00:42:43,500 --> 00:42:45,500 -and that's nice. 316 00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:52,500 I was thinking that this might turn out like it does in the film- 317 00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:56,500 -because it turned out well for everyone. 318 00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:01,500 I hoped it would all turn out well for me and for us. 319 00:43:01,500 --> 00:43:05,500 I would hold up "cue cards"- 320 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:10,600 -and you would fall in love with me again...or still. 321 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,600 Maybe we would very romantically- 322 00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,600 -ride off on a white horse or something. 323 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:27,600 But I'm not sure it's going to turn out that way. 324 00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:34,500 On the train here, I met a person who... 325 00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:39,500 ...made me understand that... 326 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:43,500 ...things don't always turn out like they do in films- 327 00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:47,500 -but she'll never know if she haven't seen it! 328 00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:59,500 Actually, it should be enough to come here today. 329 00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:02,500 That our eyes met... 330 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,600 ...and that said everything. 331 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:11,500 Does anyone have any objections? Yes, I do. 332 00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:15,600 I feel stupid, false. 333 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:22,500 I don't know, what do you say? 334 00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:28,600 You choose, shall we? Come with me. 335 00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:35,500 Yeah, something like that! 336 00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:13,300 Chapter 6 337 00:45:31,100 --> 00:45:35,100 Hang on, I've got a song! 338 00:45:35,100 --> 00:45:38,000 Say it, I know them all. 339 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,100 I don't know the name of it. 340 00:45:41,100 --> 00:45:43,100 I'll sing it for you. 341 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,100 It goes like this... 342 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,000 Hang on... 343 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:12,000 Yes! No, haven't got a clue. 344 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,100 -What's the name of the song? -No idea! 345 00:46:15,100 --> 00:46:18,100 -Damn! -I'm sorry. 346 00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:22,100 OK, the chorus goes like this... 347 00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:28,100 How does it go again? 348 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:39,000 When I was seven years old, I think I was seven at the time. 349 00:46:39,100 --> 00:46:46,100 My grandparents had a summer house in Italy. 350 00:46:46,100 --> 00:46:52,000 I was there for the whole summer - like 10 weeks. 351 00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:57,000 I'm not sure where my parents were, maybe travelling somewhere. 352 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:04,000 I was so fucking bored. 353 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,100 I was the only one there under the age of 70. 354 00:47:08,100 --> 00:47:12,000 It was so bloody hot. 355 00:47:12,100 --> 00:47:17,000 Hot and sticky and... 356 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:21,100 Everything seemed to be set in slow motion. 357 00:47:21,100 --> 00:47:26,000 I just wanted to speed things up! 358 00:47:27,100 --> 00:47:33,000 The beach was a long way off and there was nothing to do. 359 00:47:35,100 --> 00:47:38,000 So one day after lunch- 360 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:44,100 -I went to a house nearby, a neighbour's house. 361 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,100 There was an old man living there. 362 00:47:48,100 --> 00:47:54,000 I was just walking past his house after lunch. 363 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:57,000 He was playing a song. 364 00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:01,100 The music was fantastic, really great! 365 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,000 I was like... 366 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:10,000 ...it was the best music I'd ever heard in my whole life. 367 00:48:10,100 --> 00:48:13,000 It was really great. 368 00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:17,000 It went like this... 369 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:24,000 It had this really cool "whack". 370 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:29,000 I went over there every day after lunch. 371 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,100 He always played the same song. 372 00:48:31,100 --> 00:48:34,000 Every day. 373 00:48:34,100 --> 00:48:37,000 No other tune, just that same one. 374 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:41,000 Some old guy lived there, I'm not sure... 375 00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:47,000 Anyway, I went over there every day and I practised... 376 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:51,000 ...a sort of "whack" dance. 377 00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:59,000 What do you mean by "whack"? I don't get it. 378 00:48:59,100 --> 00:49:04,100 -What do you mean? -You know - "whack". 379 00:49:04,100 --> 00:49:07,100 I don't know what you mean. 380 00:49:07,100 --> 00:49:10,100 I've no idea what you mean! 381 00:49:18,100 --> 00:49:21,000 A bit like a crab! 382 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:36,100 Anyway, one day when I went over there- 383 00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:40,000 -he wasn't playing the tune. 384 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:46,000 The following day when I went over there again- 385 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:51,100 -six men in black suits came out of the house. 386 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,000 They were carrying a coffin. 387 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:58,100 They put it into a big black car. 388 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000 But it wasn't sad because... 389 00:50:04,100 --> 00:50:11,000 ...the road was really rough and bumpy. 390 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,000 When the car drove off- 391 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:20,000 -it made a sort of "whack" dance. 392 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:24,000 It was like... 393 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,100 Do you still dance? 394 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,100 Don't you dance? 395 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,100 If you got to choose between... 396 00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:13,000 Press play when I say "play". 397 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,000 Play. 398 00:54:04,900 --> 00:54:07,900 Chapter 7 399 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,600 Ladies and gentleman... 400 00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,600 ...we're approaching our next stop - Södertälje. 401 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:16,200 We're awaiting an oncoming train and the signal to pass. 402 00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,200 We will continue very shortly. 403 00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:39,600 What's your name again? 404 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:42,000 Philip... 405 00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,600 And you're Amanda.... 406 00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:14,600 -You can actually lock this door. -We should have thought of that. 407 00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:04,400 Wait, sit up. 408 00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:46,200 Where the hell are we? 409 01:01:03,500 --> 01:01:06,600 Ladies and gentlemen, we've finally arrived in Stockholm... 410 01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,900 ...our last destination for today. 411 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,500 We hope that you've had a pleasant journey. 412 01:01:11,500 --> 01:01:13,500 Thank you for traveling with us. 413 01:01:15,100 --> 01:01:17,700 Next stop, Stockholm Central Station! 414 01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:28,200 Chapter 8 415 01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:53,200 -Good luck then. -Thank you, I wish you the same. 416 01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:17,400 How To Stop A Wedding 417 01:07:39,700 --> 01:07:46,400 Shot in five hours on a train from Malmö to Stockholm 30221

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