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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,514 --> 00:00:11,954 Today I'm going to teach you 2 00:00:12,261 --> 00:00:14,901 everything you need to know about psychoanalysis. 3 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:18,720 This. 4 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:21,640 What is it? 5 00:00:23,114 --> 00:00:24,434 Our conflicts. 6 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,600 A person's conflicts are like this object. 7 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,480 We carry them with us but nobody sees them. 8 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,160 They're heavy, weigh you down. 9 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,360 They even take up a hand. 10 00:00:38,075 --> 00:00:40,595 And you go to therapy and you say: ''Doctor, 11 00:00:41,501 --> 00:00:44,181 I don't know what it is or what it means, 12 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,240 but I can't stand it''. 13 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,560 Some kinds of therapy, conducive kinds, for example, 14 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,040 teach you to live with them. 15 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,320 And they build you up. And they say: 16 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,840 ''Come on, you can handle this and then some''. 17 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,625 Others give you a pill 18 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,080 and you take one pill and another and another... 19 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,920 until you forget that you're even carrying it. 20 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,640 It all works, even the bullshit works. 21 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,880 The bad kind of therapy, the shit kind 22 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:17,960 they also work... 23 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,080 like fertilizer, for the good kinds of therapy. 24 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,760 But psychoanalysis is something else. 25 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,960 Psychoanalysis makes you open your hand and ask yourself: 26 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,960 ''What the fuck am I doing with this fucking thing?'' 27 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,680 It's a die with no numbers, right? 28 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,320 It's the cork from a bottle of scotch. 29 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,880 A cheap one, obviously. 30 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:55,960 Really quite bad. 31 00:02:09,490 --> 00:02:10,880 CHAPTER SIX 32 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:16,000 LIFE IS THIS: YOU AND ME, HERE AND NOW. 33 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,240 ''As the months went by and therapy continued 34 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,240 I felt better every time''. 35 00:02:40,966 --> 00:02:43,520 ''I started feeling less neurotic, less scared''. 36 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,960 ''Of course, I was still neurotic. That was never going to change''. 37 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,520 ''I was still disgusted by public toilets''. 38 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:26,960 Almost done. 39 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,360 ''And if I took a while, I wasn't taking drugs, 40 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,480 I still wasn't drinking or taking any drugs, 41 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,120 but because I was trying to flush 42 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,360 without touching the button''. 43 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,440 Taken! 44 00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,940 Now, what I want most is... 45 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:45,794 to sort out my life... 46 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,420 to earn money... earn money most of all, 47 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,620 I don't know, start carving out my path. 48 00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:54,780 They say that you can't live in fear. 49 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,580 ''But I've lived my life perfectly fine being scared, 50 00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:58,900 so sure you can''. 51 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,980 ''That doesn't work for me anymore''. 52 00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,060 ''Now I want...'' 53 00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:10,420 I want to live. That's what I want, to live. 54 00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:15,500 My hiphop deejaying sessions are going smoothly. 55 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,540 Last night, actually, I invited... 56 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,820 Abigail, one of the patients from group 57 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,740 to come hear me DJ. 58 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:28,180 First you boil them. When they're a little cooked 59 00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:31,340 start taking off the outside leaves, cut off the tip... 60 00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,620 But you throw them away, the leaves you've cut off? 61 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,540 Depends, if you can... -It's a shame. 62 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:37,860 With artichokes, if you throw... -You toss a lot away. 63 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:39,380 A lot. -I think so, too. 64 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:40,860 You can make compost with it. 65 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,060 And I've gotten more confident. 66 00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:44,980 Suddenly I don't walk around 67 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,940 scared of getting stabbed or anything like that. I feel like... 68 00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:50,140 ''like my usual paranoia and hysteria 69 00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,220 have given way to a kind of... 70 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:53,620 of euphoria''. 71 00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,940 And wanting to be booked for shows as DJ Psychodrama. 72 00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:12,900 That's what I call myself, DJ Psychodrama. It's funny. 73 00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:15,740 And, yeah... 74 00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:17,460 You were late. 75 00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:18,540 Huh? 76 00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:19,980 Ah, yeah, I know. 77 00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:22,660 When a patient is late for session, 78 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:25,420 they're sending a clear message to the therapist. 79 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:27,420 A negative one. 80 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,060 No, no, no, huh? 81 00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,980 That's a lack of commitment to therapy, damn it! 82 00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:38,140 Lost time in therapy is never recovered. 83 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,740 I'll be charging you for the full session. 84 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:47,460 What you made yesterday, queering it up, 85 00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:49,020 you'll pay me with today. 86 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,300 Uh... 87 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,180 Last night I didn't actually... 88 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:16,140 the session didn't go so well. I haven't been completely honest. 89 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,260 Not many people came. 90 00:06:23,422 --> 00:06:24,942 And though Abigail came, 91 00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:27,060 she came dressed in a way 92 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,260 that gave me so much second-hand embarrassment 93 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:32,340 ''that I couldn't say a word to her the whole night''. 94 00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:38,580 ''She came with a friend 95 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,500 and both of them 96 00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:43,900 both of them came wearing some really weird clothes''. 97 00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:46,500 ''And it changed the night for me''. 98 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:48,260 ''She wore Crocs with socks''. 99 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,020 I just don't get her. 100 00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:54,100 And let's not talk about her horrible taste in music. 101 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,580 ''The contradictions break my brain''. 102 00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:59,140 ''What do you do there? What does it tell you?'' 103 00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:01,100 ''I don't know what to take from it''. 104 00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:04,140 I just can't deal with the Crocs. 105 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:06,500 The music was insane. 106 00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:08,660 Yeah? -Amazing tracks, incredible. 107 00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:09,940 That's great. -Oof! 108 00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:11,860 I didn't know if you liked that... 109 00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:14,900 I really like rap and funk and soul... 110 00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:15,980 And well... 111 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,820 Dancing is super important for your chakras and all that. 112 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:21,740 Yeah, sure. I don't dance. I wasn't meaning dancing 113 00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:24,780 more... but rather what I like about black people music 114 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,740 is black paranoia... 115 00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:30,740 Like, African-Americans channel my contempt for society... 116 00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:34,620 Wow! -...and I really relate to them. 117 00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:39,900 Sorry, sometimes I start talking a lot and... 118 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:44,100 and I seem impassioned, but it's shyness. 119 00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:45,900 Ah, I get it. No, no... 120 00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,260 Me too, I really like funky stuff. 121 00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:50,140 Ah, really? -Yeah, but the funky stuff here. 122 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,220 Ah, from here. 123 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,380 Once I went to a Txarango gig... 124 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:55,260 Oof! It was incredible. 125 00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:56,460 Aha, that's cool. 126 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:58,580 Plus they're from Garrocha, like me. 127 00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:02,460 One of them had an accident in front of my parent's house. 128 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,220 Yeah? -Their car crashed 129 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,700 just in front of... yeah, yeah. 130 00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:09,580 ''Who knows, I guess adult life is that, maybe? Right? 131 00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:12,700 Sleep with someone or accept that you're going to do it with 132 00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,980 someone wearing atrocious shoes''. 133 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:19,100 Well it could be adult life. And if it is, then what? 134 00:08:19,180 --> 00:08:22,140 Completely white whales are more sensitive 135 00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:23,700 than ones that aren't so white. 136 00:08:23,780 --> 00:08:25,100 You listening? -Yes. 137 00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:27,340 I just really like when people listen to me. 138 00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:30,020 No, I was thinking about the whales. -Ah, right. 139 00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:33,020 I just like some eye contact. 140 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,500 But you know why? -Huh? 141 00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,940 You know why I like eye contact? 142 00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,140 Why? -To... 143 00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:39,780 connect, you know? -The connection. 144 00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:41,020 Yeah. 145 00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:42,860 Sure, sure. -You get me, right? 146 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,620 Yeah, like connecting... -Exactly. 147 00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,740 And like, yeah, after that I had more dreams 148 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,020 that were recurring, like the ones before. 149 00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,180 Your dreams, yes. -Yeah. 150 00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,540 I have a lot of prophetic dreams. -Yeah, yeah... 151 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,780 That's right, you've... -Yeah. 152 00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:57,860 Ah, and I also talk in my sleep. 153 00:08:57,940 --> 00:09:00,100 Just saying in case we sleep together one day... 154 00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:02,260 What? -That if one day we sleep together, 155 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,180 don't be scared, I talk in my sleep. 156 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:06,380 But don't worry about it, I only talk about Indian food. 157 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:07,660 That's cool. -I even try 158 00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:09,500 to order some takeout while I sleep. 159 00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:10,580 It's amazing. 160 00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,940 And a lot of people get scared, of course. 161 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:16,220 They get scared, but then they sure like the tikka masala. 162 00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:17,900 You aren't looking at me. 163 00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:20,980 No, sorry. -You don't even realize! 164 00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:23,140 Well... 165 00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:27,580 I finished my set and nothing else happened. 166 00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:29,300 I made an Irish exit and that's it. 167 00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:33,180 Irish exit. 168 00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:36,660 Yeah, uh... 169 00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:37,740 without saying goodbye. 170 00:09:38,420 --> 00:09:41,140 How many people go to see you at these sets? 171 00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:45,660 Huh? 172 00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:48,780 Not a lot, why? 173 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,140 Last night, really... 174 00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,220 not... 175 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,420 not many people came. 176 00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,220 And Abigail didn't come either. Sorry. 177 00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,900 I'm sorry, I don't know why... 178 00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:24,900 Sorry. I don't know why I told you that. 179 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,220 I can't hear anything. 180 00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:30,420 ''I don't know... Sorry, I'm an idiot''. 181 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,620 ''I saw the Crocs last summer'' 182 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,540 in the waiting room. Not... 183 00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:38,020 I don't know why I made up the story. I'm sorry. 184 00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,460 I'm sorry, forgive me. I shouldn't have... 185 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:42,940 I don't know, it's like... 186 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:45,460 I feel like she's so eccentric, 187 00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:47,060 ''but...'' 188 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:49,900 there's something about her I like, and... 189 00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:52,660 Maybe that's why 190 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,580 I brought it to therapy, don't know. Sorry. Forgive me. 191 00:10:56,660 --> 00:10:57,660 Dreams... 192 00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,540 Yeah, yeah, dreams... 193 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,860 My boyfriend gets mad because I talk in my sleep. 194 00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:04,940 Ah. 195 00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:09,100 Plus, I only talk about Indian food, how much I like it. 196 00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:10,180 That's cool. 197 00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:13,580 I even sometimes try to order it for takeout in my sleep. 198 00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,260 Yeah, yeah. 199 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,340 It's incredible. 200 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:20,180 But other than that we get on so well.. 201 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,580 He manages a band. -Ah. 202 00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:25,260 Which one? -Txarango. 203 00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:30,380 Ah, yeah. Like, they sound familiar, but... 204 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,260 I'm not certain. 205 00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:35,500 No? -No. Like... 206 00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:37,100 Sure? 207 00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:40,180 Uh... 208 00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,300 Ah, yeah. 209 00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:44,620 Yeah, no? -Yeah. 210 00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:50,100 ''It's true...''. 211 00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:53,500 It's definitely true, I feel better since coming to therapy. 212 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,580 That's true. 213 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:57,820 But there's something not working, like... 214 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,460 I feel like there's still 215 00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:05,540 a huge gap between me and the outside world. 216 00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:08,900 And I feel like verbalizing... 217 00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:14,740 what I want and expressing myself and expressing what I want, 218 00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:16,860 whether it's money, or sex, 219 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:18,780 is... 220 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:23,540 exposing myself to punishment, to castration... 221 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,860 But come on, don't intellectualize so much. 222 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:34,220 Now, 223 00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,180 how much do they pay you? 224 00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:39,220 For the deejaying? 225 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,180 I'm not... 226 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,180 I'm not a DJ. 227 00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:53,180 What's your job then? 228 00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:57,020 I play in friend's clubs now and again, but... 229 00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:01,580 but like everyone else, and that's not being a DJ. 230 00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,060 I live off of what I have in... 231 00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:07,260 what I have in the bank, 232 00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:10,180 from what I make from illustration work 233 00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:12,060 from... 234 00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:15,140 from articles in magazines, but that's not enough 235 00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:17,980 not even the 400 Euro average most times. 236 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,900 Sometimes...They always pay late. 237 00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:24,180 Usually my money is in an envelope. It's a disaster. It's pathetic.. 238 00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,660 Yes, but how do you afford to live? How do you make a living? 239 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:31,500 From... 240 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:34,460 From my parents. 241 00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:40,900 They send me 800 Euros a month. 242 00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,780 Nobody knows. Not even... 243 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,580 Not even my ex knew. I'm so ashamed of it. 244 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,020 I'm almost 30 years old and I'm still living off them. 245 00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:58,220 What's more, I complain about them so much in therapy 246 00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,540 and I'm so critical of them. It's repulsive. 247 00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:04,740 It's repugnant. 248 00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:23,580 Go on. 249 00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:27,940 Keep talking. 250 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,460 I don't just hide the stuff about the money. 251 00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:42,540 A lot of the things I say... 252 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:47,420 about my personality are... 253 00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:51,420 are made up. 254 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,820 I lie. 255 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,700 I lie. 256 00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,060 I'm constantly lying. 257 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:03,220 My parents didn't have that book ''Totem and Taboo'', 258 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,500 nor ''Nausea'' by Sartre. 259 00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:06,580 The only book I remember from home 260 00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:10,500 was one by Terenci Moix, ''Don't say it was a dream'', or something. 261 00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:12,220 And everyone had that one 262 00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:15,980 because they handed it out free with the newspaper. 263 00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:17,780 Fuck, I don't know what's wrong with me. 264 00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:22,700 Are you going to throw me out? -No. 265 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,020 Tell me, son, 266 00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:40,100 what do you see in the mirror? 267 00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:44,700 You aren't a DJ. 268 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,540 You're nothing. 269 00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:52,940 No, I feel like... 270 00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:56,660 like I lie to everyone. 271 00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,980 I think I have a problem with... 272 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:02,540 with fantasies. 273 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,900 I act as if I'm cooler than what I am. 274 00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:09,220 But my house isn't even like that. It's a shithole. 275 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:11,900 My room isn't like that. 276 00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:17,100 I can't even make a living for myself. 277 00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:24,140 I just can't... 278 00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:27,340 accept how things really are. 279 00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:30,940 My life seems to me... 280 00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:34,740 ''it seems disgusting, it seems vulgar''. 281 00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:35,820 ''No...''. 282 00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:37,940 ''I can't''. 283 00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:39,300 ''I can't stand it''. 284 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:45,460 Fuck, I even lie about who I am and what I'm like 285 00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:47,140 and about myself. 286 00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:55,580 You're a mess, 287 00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:58,580 a shaking little leaf, 288 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,020 a kid shitting his pants, 289 00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:06,260 who's lost himself because some shit changed him. 290 00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:13,100 I'm not a DJ, so what? 291 00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:16,540 I've never been a DJ. 292 00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,860 I really like rap, so what? 293 00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:24,780 But I don't have vinyls, I don't... 294 00:17:25,580 --> 00:17:27,380 I don't have a record player. 295 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,980 I download all my music from the internet. It sounds like trash. 296 00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:40,420 Not just that. I'm... 297 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:44,140 I'm unfair to my parents. I'm... 298 00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,700 I'm so hard on them... 299 00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,420 and all that because I'm ashamed of where I come from, and... 300 00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,580 and I don't want to come from there. 301 00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:01,500 But thanks to them I can pay for therapy 302 00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:06,660 and keep my lie of a life going and keep thinking I'm an illustrator 303 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:10,060 and keep thinking I can go for coffees in El Raval 304 00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:12,140 being who I am. 305 00:18:14,085 --> 00:18:15,605 Go to the Filmoteca and... 306 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:20,960 and all that because I'm... 307 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,280 I'm scared. 308 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,880 But what are you scared of, man? 309 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,640 Of being a dwarf, I don't know. 310 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,720 Of not being enough. 311 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,400 Of being a tiny psychologist, I guess. 312 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,480 Sit down and listen. 313 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,360 Don't feel bad. 314 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,160 All of my patients are like you. 315 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,800 Spain is very anti-psychologist. 316 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,600 I don't know why, 317 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,880 whether it's been taught, 318 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:31,720 or it's from religion... 319 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,320 But the problem is, it isn't just Spain, 320 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,120 it's the 21st century. 321 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,480 We live in the future 322 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,760 but we're still just monkeys. 323 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,320 Monkeys standing on two feet. 324 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,520 Look at your feet. 325 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,640 And later, when you get home tonight, 326 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,200 compare them with your hands. 327 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,680 You have to know how to go from the couch 328 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,080 to the cave. 329 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:04,760 The cave. 330 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,040 ''The price humans have paid for going from walking on all fours 331 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,640 to walking upright, that is neurosis''. 332 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:23,680 ''We are humanoid, half monkey, half human beings''. 333 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:27,080 ''Liars, wrathful, cowards, 334 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,400 masochists, sadists, cretins, 335 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,040 divine, 'agro-sentient','' 336 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,720 insatiable... 337 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,040 ''people in progress''. 338 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,400 ''Maybe in 300 years'' 339 00:20:41,134 --> 00:20:43,214 we'll be complete people. 340 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,160 And then we'll accept psychoanalysis 341 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,440 and finally understand Freud. 342 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,120 ''Freud was a genius, 343 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,480 but he couldn't solve everything''. 344 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:00,760 He didn't have enough time. 345 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,560 He was also neurotic. 346 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,000 ''He had a train phobia, 347 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,600 a complex relationship with his mother...''. 348 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,720 ''Trials of the time, 349 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,680 in Vienna at the end of the 19th century, sexual repression...''. 350 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,600 You get it? 351 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,360 We can't be so hard on the old guy. 352 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,720 But Freud got better on his own, 353 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,560 working with his patients but he got better alone. 354 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:36,040 If Freud hadn't have existed we'd have had to have invented it. 355 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,160 Let me tell you, I've been working on this for 50 years almost. 356 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,840 Almost half a century. 357 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:46,640 Easily said. 358 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,040 But the psychoanalyst's work is never done. 359 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,840 Now, to be frank, 360 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:00,840 I'm dying. 361 00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,960 I'm running out of time. 362 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,160 I want to go to Cuba. 363 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,120 I want to go to Cuba, damn it. 364 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,640 Cuba was miles ahead with psychoanalysis, 365 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,600 before the Marxist-Leninist Revolution arrived. 366 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,640 How sickening politics is. 367 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,640 Same shit everywhere. 368 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,320 This society also sickens me. 369 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,880 Everyone lies. 370 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,600 They lie in life, in therapy, all the time 371 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,880 and you can't always be lying, fuck. 372 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,880 That's why people are so aggressive. 373 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,840 And aggression kills. 374 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,840 The problem isn't sexual, it's aggressive. 375 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,120 That's clear as day to me. 376 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,200 Trick someone else. 377 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,520 Or get out of here and go come up with cheap psychology tricks. 378 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,360 I'm sick of it. 379 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,120 I'm going to confess something. 380 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:13,840 And after, you can go. 381 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,360 I want to go to Cuba. 382 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,400 But for that to happen, Cuba has to change. 383 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,520 If Cuba doesn't change, I won't go. 384 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:27,640 I won't. 385 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,040 I bought my ticket already. 386 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,000 My lawyers have everything ready. 387 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,640 I'm going to set up my school there. 388 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,120 Not this shithole that's falling apart. 389 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,280 ''This black hole collapsing in on itself. 390 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,880 ''Less and less patients are coming''. 391 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:56,960 ''This is loathsome''. 392 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,960 When I return to Cuba, 393 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,080 I'm going to unveil 394 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,640 Doctor Portuondo's International School of Psychoanalysis, 395 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,360 in Santiago de Cuba. 396 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,520 I'm only going to treat schizophrenics and psychotics. 397 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:15,600 That's all. 398 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,080 I can see it now. 399 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,880 In the mansion my parents had in Santiago. 400 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,720 With that huge entrance, 401 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,160 the garden full of trees, 402 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,320 and a real palm tree in the middle, presiding over it all. 403 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,160 Out by the door, I'm going to put a sign: 404 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,080 ''Doctor Portuondo''. 405 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,360 I'm never going back to Cuba. 406 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,040 See? 407 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,200 I also kid myself. 408 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,040 Do you know the story of the stonecutter? 409 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:14,640 No. 410 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,080 Well look it up online. 411 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,400 Very good session. Very good. 412 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,920 The center was with you. 413 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:30,800 And remember, 414 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,160 that's life. 415 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,040 You and I, here and now. 416 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,520 Learn to live positively. 417 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,240 The good and the bad, it's knowledge. 418 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,800 And the future, full of plans. 419 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,560 And what doesn't happen, doesn't matter. 420 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,600 You'll always remember the past in the present, 421 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:54,800 because you're remembering it. 422 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,480 And when the future comes, you'll be in the present. 423 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,680 The here and now. You and I. 424 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,800 And that's where happiness lies. 425 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,960 Grab it. 426 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,480 BASED ON THE BOOK ''DOCTOR PORTUONDO'' BY CARLO PADIAL, 427 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:26,960 PUBLISHED BY BLACKIE BOOKS 428 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,160 ''If you leave one day, I'm going to die''. 429 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,720 ''I'm, I'm going to die of love''. 430 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,880 ''I'm going to die without your heat. -I'm going to die''. 431 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,400 ''I'm going to die. -I'm going to die''. 432 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,080 ''I'm going to die 433 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,600 of love, of love, baby. -I'm going to die''. 434 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,640 ''of love that I had. -I'm going to die''. 435 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,880 ''I'm dying. I'm dying of love, you see?'' 436 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,800 ''I'm dying. I'm dying of love, you see?'' 437 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,120 ''without your heat, mulatto. -I'm going to die''. 438 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,640 ''It's not enough. -I'm going to die''. 439 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,440 ''Love will die if you're gone tomorrow''. 440 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:00,840 -I'm going to die''. 441 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,760 ''I'm telling you. -I'm going to die''. 442 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,160 ''Oh, I'm telling you. -I'm going to die''. 443 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,680 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 444 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,360 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 445 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,080 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 446 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:19,480 ''Oh, if you're not here, mulatto, my heart rips in two''. 447 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,800 ''And I can't anymore. -I'm going to die''. 448 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:27,120 ''My heart will die just thinking of you''. 449 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,200 ''I'm going to die''. 450 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,080 ''Only thinking about you, morena''. 451 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,360 ''I'm going to die of love''. 452 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,960 ''Ay, I'm going to die without your heat''. 453 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,160 ''Love me, love me. -I'm going to die''. 454 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,040 ''If you don't love me, I'll die. -I'm going to die''. 455 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,000 ''I'm going to die without your heat. -I'm going to die''. 456 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,480 ''I'm going to die. -I'm going to die''. 457 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,400 ''I'm going to die of love, of love, baby''. 458 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,720 ''of love that I had. -I'm going to die''. 459 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,000 ''I'm dying. I'm dying of love, you see?'' 460 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,520 ''I'm dying. I'm dying of love, you see?'' 461 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:05,400 ''without your heat, mulatto, it's not enough''. 462 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,760 ''Love will die, if you're gone tomorrow''. 463 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,520 ''I'm telling you. -I'm going to die''. 464 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,440 ''Ay, I'm telling you. -I'm going to die''. 465 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,760 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 466 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,480 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 467 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,880 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 468 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:29,920 ''Ay, if you're gone, mulatto, my heart rips in two''. 469 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,240 ''I'm going to die''. 470 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,840 ''And I can't anymore. -I'm going to die''. 471 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:38,080 ''My heart will die just thinking of you''. 472 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:42,120 ''Only thinking about you, morena''. 473 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,240 ''I'm going to die of love''. 474 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,200 ''Ay, I'm going to die without your heat''. 475 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,800 ''Love me, love me. -I'm going to die''. 476 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,960 ''If you don't love me, I'll die. -I'm going to die''. 477 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,320 ''Love me, love me. -I'm going to die'' 478 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,160 ''of love that I had. -I'm going to die''. 479 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,480 ''I'm dying. I'm dying of love, you see?'' 480 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:02,960 ''I'm dying. I'm dying of love, you see?'' 481 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,880 ''without your heat, mulatto, it's not enough''. 482 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:13,320 ''Love will die if you're gone tomorrow''. 483 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,000 ''I'm telling you. -I'm going to die''. 484 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,720 ''Ay, I'm telling you. -I'm going to die''. 485 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,240 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 486 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,800 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 487 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,520 ''I'm going, I'm going to die of love''. 488 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:32,600 ''Ay, if you're gone, mulatto, my heart rips in two''. 489 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,200 ''And I can't anymore. -I'm going to die''. 490 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:40,640 ''My heart will die just thinking of you''. 491 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,440 ''Only thinking about you, morena''. 492 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:49,440 ''I'm going to die of love. I'm going to die without your heat''. 493 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,560 ''Love me, love me. -I'm going to die''. 494 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,560 ''If you don't love me, I'll die. -I'm going to die''. 495 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,200 ''Love me, love me. -I'm going to die''. 496 00:29:58,600 --> 00:29:59,800 ''She's gone''. 497 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,800 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com 36267

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