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Today I'm going to teach you
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00:00:12,261 --> 00:00:14,901
everything you need to know
about psychoanalysis.
3
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:18,720
This.
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00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:21,640
What is it?
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00:00:23,114 --> 00:00:24,434
Our conflicts.
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00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,600
A person's conflicts
are like this object.
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We carry them with us
but nobody sees them.
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They're heavy, weigh you down.
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They even take up a hand.
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00:00:38,075 --> 00:00:40,595
And you go to therapy and you say:
''Doctor,
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I don't know what it is
or what it means,
12
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,240
but I can't stand it''.
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Some kinds of therapy,
conducive kinds, for example,
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00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,040
teach you to live with them.
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00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,320
And they build you up. And they say:
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00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,840
''Come on, you can handle this
and then some''.
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00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,625
Others give you a pill
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00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,080
and you take one pill
and another and another...
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00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,920
until you forget that
you're even carrying it.
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00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,640
It all works,
even the bullshit works.
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The bad kind of therapy,
the shit kind
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they also work...
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like fertilizer,
for the good kinds of therapy.
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But psychoanalysis is
something else.
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00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,960
Psychoanalysis makes you
open your hand and ask yourself:
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00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,960
''What the fuck am I doing
with this fucking thing?''
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It's a die with no numbers, right?
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00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,320
It's the cork from
a bottle of scotch.
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00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,880
A cheap one, obviously.
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Really quite bad.
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00:02:09,490 --> 00:02:10,880
CHAPTER SIX
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LIFE IS THIS:
YOU AND ME, HERE AND NOW.
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''As the months went by
and therapy continued
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00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,240
I felt better every time''.
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00:02:40,966 --> 00:02:43,520
''I started feeling less neurotic,
less scared''.
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00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,960
''Of course, I was still neurotic.
That was never going to change''.
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00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,520
''I was still disgusted
by public toilets''.
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00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:26,960
Almost done.
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00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,360
''And if I took a while,
I wasn't taking drugs,
40
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,480
I still wasn't drinking
or taking any drugs,
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00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,120
but because I was trying to flush
42
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,360
without touching the button''.
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00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,440
Taken!
44
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,940
Now, what I want most is...
45
00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:45,794
to sort out my life...
46
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,420
to earn money...
earn money most of all,
47
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,620
I don't know, start carving out
my path.
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00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:54,780
They say that you can't
live in fear.
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''But I've lived my life
perfectly fine being scared,
50
00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:58,900
so sure you can''.
51
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,980
''That doesn't work for me anymore''.
52
00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,060
''Now I want...''
53
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:10,420
I want to live.
That's what I want, to live.
54
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:15,500
My hiphop deejaying sessions
are going smoothly.
55
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,540
Last night,
actually, I invited...
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00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,820
Abigail,
one of the patients from group
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00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,740
to come hear me DJ.
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00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:28,180
First you boil them.
When they're a little cooked
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00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:31,340
start taking off the outside leaves,
cut off the tip...
60
00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,620
But you throw them away,
the leaves you've cut off?
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00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,540
Depends, if you can...
-It's a shame.
62
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:37,860
With artichokes, if you throw...
-You toss a lot away.
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A lot.
-I think so, too.
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You can make compost with it.
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00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,060
And I've gotten more confident.
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00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:44,980
Suddenly I don't walk around
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00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,940
scared of getting stabbed or
anything like that. I feel like...
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00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:50,140
''like my usual paranoia
and hysteria
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00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,220
have given way to a kind of...
70
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:53,620
of euphoria''.
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00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,940
And wanting to be booked
for shows as DJ Psychodrama.
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00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:12,900
That's what I call myself,
DJ Psychodrama. It's funny.
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00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:15,740
And, yeah...
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You were late.
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Huh?
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00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:19,980
Ah, yeah, I know.
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00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:22,660
When a patient is late for session,
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they're sending a clear message
to the therapist.
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A negative one.
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00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,060
No, no, no, huh?
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00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,980
That's a lack of commitment
to therapy, damn it!
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00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:38,140
Lost time in therapy
is never recovered.
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00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,740
I'll be charging you
for the full session.
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What you made yesterday,
queering it up,
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you'll pay me with today.
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00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,300
Uh...
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Last night I didn't actually...
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the session didn't go so well.
I haven't been completely honest.
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Not many people came.
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And though Abigail came,
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she came dressed in a way
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that gave me so much
second-hand embarrassment
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''that I couldn't say a word to her
the whole night''.
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00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:38,580
''She came with a friend
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and both of them
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00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:43,900
both of them came
wearing some really weird clothes''.
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00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:46,500
''And it changed the night for me''.
98
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:48,260
''She wore Crocs with socks''.
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00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,020
I just don't get her.
100
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:54,100
And let's not talk about
her horrible taste in music.
101
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,580
''The contradictions break my brain''.
102
00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:59,140
''What do you do there?
What does it tell you?''
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00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:01,100
''I don't know what to take from it''.
104
00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:04,140
I just can't deal with the Crocs.
105
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:06,500
The music was insane.
106
00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:08,660
Yeah?
-Amazing tracks, incredible.
107
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:09,940
That's great.
-Oof!
108
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:11,860
I didn't know if you liked that...
109
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:14,900
I really like
rap and funk and soul...
110
00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:15,980
And well...
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00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,820
Dancing is super important
for your chakras and all that.
112
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:21,740
Yeah, sure. I don't dance.
I wasn't meaning dancing
113
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:24,780
more... but rather
what I like about black people music
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is black paranoia...
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00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:30,740
Like, African-Americans channel
my contempt for society...
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00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:34,620
Wow!
-...and I really relate to them.
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00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:39,900
Sorry, sometimes I start
talking a lot and...
118
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:44,100
and I seem impassioned,
but it's shyness.
119
00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:45,900
Ah, I get it. No, no...
120
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,260
Me too,
I really like funky stuff.
121
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:50,140
Ah, really?
-Yeah, but the funky stuff here.
122
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Ah, from here.
123
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,380
Once I went to a Txarango gig...
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Oof! It was incredible.
125
00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:56,460
Aha, that's cool.
126
00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:58,580
Plus they're from Garrocha, like me.
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00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:02,460
One of them had an accident
in front of my parent's house.
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00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,220
Yeah?
-Their car crashed
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00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,700
just in front of... yeah, yeah.
130
00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:09,580
''Who knows, I guess adult life
is that, maybe? Right?
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00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:12,700
Sleep with someone or accept
that you're going to do it with
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00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,980
someone wearing atrocious shoes''.
133
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:19,100
Well it could be adult life.
And if it is, then what?
134
00:08:19,180 --> 00:08:22,140
Completely white whales
are more sensitive
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00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:23,700
than ones that aren't so white.
136
00:08:23,780 --> 00:08:25,100
You listening?
-Yes.
137
00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:27,340
I just really like when
people listen to me.
138
00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:30,020
No, I was thinking about the whales.
-Ah, right.
139
00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:33,020
I just like some eye contact.
140
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,500
But you know why?
-Huh?
141
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,940
You know why I like eye contact?
142
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,140
Why?
-To...
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00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:39,780
connect, you know?
-The connection.
144
00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:41,020
Yeah.
145
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:42,860
Sure, sure.
-You get me, right?
146
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,620
Yeah, like connecting...
-Exactly.
147
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,740
And like, yeah, after that
I had more dreams
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00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,020
that were recurring,
like the ones before.
149
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,180
Your dreams, yes.
-Yeah.
150
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,540
I have a lot of prophetic dreams.
-Yeah, yeah...
151
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,780
That's right, you've...
-Yeah.
152
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:57,860
Ah, and I also talk in my sleep.
153
00:08:57,940 --> 00:09:00,100
Just saying in case
we sleep together one day...
154
00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:02,260
What?
-That if one day we sleep together,
155
00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,180
don't be scared,
I talk in my sleep.
156
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:06,380
But don't worry about it,
I only talk about Indian food.
157
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:07,660
That's cool.
-I even try
158
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:09,500
to order some takeout while I sleep.
159
00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:10,580
It's amazing.
160
00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,940
And a lot of people
get scared, of course.
161
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They get scared, but then
they sure like the tikka masala.
162
00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:17,900
You aren't looking at me.
163
00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:20,980
No, sorry.
-You don't even realize!
164
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:23,140
Well...
165
00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:27,580
I finished my set
and nothing else happened.
166
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:29,300
I made an Irish exit and that's it.
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Irish exit.
168
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:36,660
Yeah, uh...
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00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:37,740
without saying goodbye.
170
00:09:38,420 --> 00:09:41,140
How many people go to see you
at these sets?
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00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:45,660
Huh?
172
00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:48,780
Not a lot, why?
173
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,140
Last night, really...
174
00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,220
not...
175
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,420
not many people came.
176
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,220
And Abigail didn't come either.
Sorry.
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00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,900
I'm sorry, I don't know why...
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00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:24,900
Sorry.
I don't know why I told you that.
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00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,220
I can't hear anything.
180
00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:30,420
''I don't know...
Sorry, I'm an idiot''.
181
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,620
''I saw the Crocs
last summer''
182
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,540
in the waiting room. Not...
183
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:38,020
I don't know why I made up
the story. I'm sorry.
184
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,460
I'm sorry, forgive me.
I shouldn't have...
185
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:42,940
I don't know, it's like...
186
00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:45,460
I feel like she's so eccentric,
187
00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:47,060
''but...''
188
00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:49,900
there's something about her
I like, and...
189
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:52,660
Maybe that's why
190
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I brought it to therapy, don't know.
Sorry. Forgive me.
191
00:10:56,660 --> 00:10:57,660
Dreams...
192
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,540
Yeah, yeah, dreams...
193
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,860
My boyfriend gets mad
because I talk in my sleep.
194
00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:04,940
Ah.
195
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:09,100
Plus, I only talk about Indian food,
how much I like it.
196
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:10,180
That's cool.
197
00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:13,580
I even sometimes try to order it
for takeout in my sleep.
198
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,260
Yeah, yeah.
199
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,340
It's incredible.
200
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:20,180
But other than that
we get on so well..
201
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,580
He manages a band.
-Ah.
202
00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:25,260
Which one?
-Txarango.
203
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:30,380
Ah, yeah. Like, they sound
familiar, but...
204
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,260
I'm not certain.
205
00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:35,500
No?
-No. Like...
206
00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:37,100
Sure?
207
00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:40,180
Uh...
208
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,300
Ah, yeah.
209
00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:44,620
Yeah, no?
-Yeah.
210
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:50,100
''It's true...''.
211
00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:53,500
It's definitely true, I feel
better since coming to therapy.
212
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,580
That's true.
213
00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:57,820
But there's something not working,
like...
214
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,460
I feel like there's still
215
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:05,540
a huge gap between
me and the outside world.
216
00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:08,900
And I feel like verbalizing...
217
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:14,740
what I want and expressing myself
and expressing what I want,
218
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:16,860
whether it's money, or sex,
219
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:18,780
is...
220
00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:23,540
exposing myself to punishment,
to castration...
221
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,860
But come on,
don't intellectualize so much.
222
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:34,220
Now,
223
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,180
how much do they pay you?
224
00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:39,220
For the deejaying?
225
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,180
I'm not...
226
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,180
I'm not a DJ.
227
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:53,180
What's your job then?
228
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:57,020
I play in friend's clubs
now and again, but...
229
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:01,580
but like everyone else,
and that's not being a DJ.
230
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,060
I live off of what I have in...
231
00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:07,260
what I have in the bank,
232
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:10,180
from what I make
from illustration work
233
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:12,060
from...
234
00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:15,140
from articles in magazines,
but that's not enough
235
00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:17,980
not even the 400 Euro average
most times.
236
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,900
Sometimes...They always pay late.
237
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:24,180
Usually my money is in an envelope.
It's a disaster. It's pathetic..
238
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,660
Yes, but how do you afford to live?
How do you make a living?
239
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:31,500
From...
240
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:34,460
From my parents.
241
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:40,900
They send me 800 Euros a month.
242
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,780
Nobody knows. Not even...
243
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,580
Not even my ex knew.
I'm so ashamed of it.
244
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,020
I'm almost 30 years old
and I'm still living off them.
245
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:58,220
What's more, I complain
about them so much in therapy
246
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,540
and I'm so critical of them.
It's repulsive.
247
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:04,740
It's repugnant.
248
00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:23,580
Go on.
249
00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:27,940
Keep talking.
250
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,460
I don't just hide the stuff
about the money.
251
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:42,540
A lot of the things I say...
252
00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:47,420
about my personality are...
253
00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:51,420
are made up.
254
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,820
I lie.
255
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,700
I lie.
256
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,060
I'm constantly lying.
257
00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:03,220
My parents didn't have
that book ''Totem and Taboo'',
258
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,500
nor ''Nausea'' by Sartre.
259
00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:06,580
The only book I remember from home
260
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:10,500
was one by Terenci Moix, ''Don't say
it was a dream'', or something.
261
00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:12,220
And everyone had that one
262
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:15,980
because they handed it out
free with the newspaper.
263
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:17,780
Fuck, I don't know
what's wrong with me.
264
00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:22,700
Are you going to throw me out?
-No.
265
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,020
Tell me, son,
266
00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:40,100
what do you see in the mirror?
267
00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:44,700
You aren't a DJ.
268
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,540
You're nothing.
269
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:52,940
No, I feel like...
270
00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:56,660
like I lie to everyone.
271
00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,980
I think I have a problem with...
272
00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:02,540
with fantasies.
273
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,900
I act as if I'm
cooler than what I am.
274
00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:09,220
But my house isn't even like that.
It's a shithole.
275
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:11,900
My room isn't like that.
276
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:17,100
I can't even
make a living for myself.
277
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:24,140
I just can't...
278
00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:27,340
accept how things really are.
279
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:30,940
My life seems to me...
280
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:34,740
''it seems disgusting,
it seems vulgar''.
281
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:35,820
''No...''.
282
00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:37,940
''I can't''.
283
00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:39,300
''I can't stand it''.
284
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:45,460
Fuck, I even lie about who I am
and what I'm like
285
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:47,140
and about myself.
286
00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:55,580
You're a mess,
287
00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:58,580
a shaking little leaf,
288
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,020
a kid shitting his pants,
289
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:06,260
who's lost himself
because some shit changed him.
290
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:13,100
I'm not a DJ, so what?
291
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:16,540
I've never been a DJ.
292
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,860
I really like rap, so what?
293
00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:24,780
But I don't have vinyls, I don't...
294
00:17:25,580 --> 00:17:27,380
I don't have a record player.
295
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,980
I download all my music from
the internet. It sounds like trash.
296
00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:40,420
Not just that. I'm...
297
00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:44,140
I'm unfair to my parents. I'm...
298
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,700
I'm so hard on them...
299
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,420
and all that because I'm ashamed
of where I come from, and...
300
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,580
and I don't want to come from there.
301
00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:01,500
But thanks to them
I can pay for therapy
302
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:06,660
and keep my lie of a life going
and keep thinking I'm an illustrator
303
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:10,060
and keep thinking I can go
for coffees in El Raval
304
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:12,140
being who I am.
305
00:18:14,085 --> 00:18:15,605
Go to the Filmoteca and...
306
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:20,960
and all that because I'm...
307
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,280
I'm scared.
308
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,880
But what are you scared of, man?
309
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,640
Of being a dwarf, I don't know.
310
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,720
Of not being enough.
311
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,400
Of being a tiny psychologist,
I guess.
312
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,480
Sit down and listen.
313
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,360
Don't feel bad.
314
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,160
All of my patients are like you.
315
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,800
Spain is very anti-psychologist.
316
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,600
I don't know why,
317
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,880
whether it's been taught,
318
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:31,720
or it's from religion...
319
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,320
But the problem is,
it isn't just Spain,
320
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,120
it's the 21st century.
321
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,480
We live in the future
322
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,760
but we're still just monkeys.
323
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,320
Monkeys standing on two feet.
324
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,520
Look at your feet.
325
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,640
And later, when you
get home tonight,
326
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,200
compare them with your hands.
327
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,680
You have to know
how to go from the couch
328
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,080
to the cave.
329
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:04,760
The cave.
330
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,040
''The price humans have paid
for going from walking on all fours
331
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,640
to walking upright,
that is neurosis''.
332
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:23,680
''We are humanoid, half monkey,
half human beings''.
333
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:27,080
''Liars, wrathful, cowards,
334
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,400
masochists, sadists, cretins,
335
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,040
divine, 'agro-sentient',''
336
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,720
insatiable...
337
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,040
''people in progress''.
338
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,400
''Maybe in 300 years''
339
00:20:41,134 --> 00:20:43,214
we'll be complete people.
340
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,160
And then we'll accept psychoanalysis
341
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,440
and finally understand Freud.
342
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,120
''Freud was a genius,
343
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,480
but he couldn't solve everything''.
344
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:00,760
He didn't have enough time.
345
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,560
He was also neurotic.
346
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,000
''He had a train phobia,
347
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,600
a complex relationship
with his mother...''.
348
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,720
''Trials of the time,
349
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,680
in Vienna at the end of the
19th century, sexual repression...''.
350
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,600
You get it?
351
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,360
We can't be so hard on the old guy.
352
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,720
But Freud got better on his own,
353
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,560
working with his patients
but he got better alone.
354
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:36,040
If Freud hadn't have existed
we'd have had to have invented it.
355
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,160
Let me tell you, I've been working
on this for 50 years almost.
356
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,840
Almost half a century.
357
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:46,640
Easily said.
358
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,040
But the psychoanalyst's work
is never done.
359
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,840
Now, to be frank,
360
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:00,840
I'm dying.
361
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,960
I'm running out of time.
362
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,160
I want to go to Cuba.
363
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,120
I want to go to Cuba, damn it.
364
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,640
Cuba was miles ahead
with psychoanalysis,
365
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,600
before the Marxist-Leninist
Revolution arrived.
366
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,640
How sickening politics is.
367
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,640
Same shit everywhere.
368
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,320
This society also sickens me.
369
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,880
Everyone lies.
370
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,600
They lie in life, in therapy,
all the time
371
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,880
and you can't always be lying, fuck.
372
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,880
That's why people are so aggressive.
373
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,840
And aggression kills.
374
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,840
The problem isn't sexual,
it's aggressive.
375
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,120
That's clear as day to me.
376
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,200
Trick someone else.
377
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,520
Or get out of here and go come up
with cheap psychology tricks.
378
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,360
I'm sick of it.
379
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,120
I'm going to confess something.
380
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:13,840
And after, you can go.
381
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,360
I want to go to Cuba.
382
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,400
But for that to happen,
Cuba has to change.
383
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,520
If Cuba doesn't change, I won't go.
384
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:27,640
I won't.
385
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,040
I bought my ticket already.
386
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,000
My lawyers have everything ready.
387
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,640
I'm going to set up my school there.
388
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,120
Not this shithole
that's falling apart.
389
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,280
''This black hole
collapsing in on itself.
390
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,880
''Less and less patients are coming''.
391
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:56,960
''This is loathsome''.
392
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,960
When I return to Cuba,
393
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,080
I'm going to unveil
394
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,640
Doctor Portuondo's International
School of Psychoanalysis,
395
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,360
in Santiago de Cuba.
396
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,520
I'm only going to treat
schizophrenics and psychotics.
397
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:15,600
That's all.
398
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,080
I can see it now.
399
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,880
In the mansion my parents
had in Santiago.
400
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,720
With that huge entrance,
401
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,160
the garden full of trees,
402
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,320
and a real palm tree in the middle,
presiding over it all.
403
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,160
Out by the door,
I'm going to put a sign:
404
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,080
''Doctor Portuondo''.
405
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,360
I'm never going back to Cuba.
406
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,040
See?
407
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,200
I also kid myself.
408
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,040
Do you know the story
of the stonecutter?
409
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:14,640
No.
410
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,080
Well look it up online.
411
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,400
Very good session. Very good.
412
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,920
The center was with you.
413
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:30,800
And remember,
414
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,160
that's life.
415
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,040
You and I, here and now.
416
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,520
Learn to live positively.
417
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,240
The good and the bad,
it's knowledge.
418
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,800
And the future, full of plans.
419
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,560
And what doesn't happen,
doesn't matter.
420
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,600
You'll always remember the past
in the present,
421
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:54,800
because you're remembering it.
422
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,480
And when the future comes,
you'll be in the present.
423
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,680
The here and now. You and I.
424
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,800
And that's where happiness lies.
425
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,960
Grab it.
426
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,480
BASED ON THE BOOK ''DOCTOR PORTUONDO''
BY CARLO PADIAL,
427
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:26,960
PUBLISHED BY BLACKIE BOOKS
428
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,160
''If you leave one day,
I'm going to die''.
429
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,720
''I'm, I'm going to die of love''.
430
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,880
''I'm going to die without your heat.
-I'm going to die''.
431
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,400
''I'm going to die.
-I'm going to die''.
432
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,080
''I'm going to die
433
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,600
of love, of love, baby.
-I'm going to die''.
434
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,640
''of love that I had.
-I'm going to die''.
435
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,880
''I'm dying.
I'm dying of love, you see?''
436
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,800
''I'm dying.
I'm dying of love, you see?''
437
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,120
''without your heat, mulatto.
-I'm going to die''.
438
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,640
''It's not enough.
-I'm going to die''.
439
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,440
''Love will die
if you're gone tomorrow''.
440
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:00,840
-I'm going to die''.
441
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,760
''I'm telling you.
-I'm going to die''.
442
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,160
''Oh, I'm telling you.
-I'm going to die''.
443
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,680
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
444
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,360
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
445
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,080
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
446
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:19,480
''Oh, if you're not here, mulatto,
my heart rips in two''.
447
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,800
''And I can't anymore.
-I'm going to die''.
448
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:27,120
''My heart will die
just thinking of you''.
449
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,200
''I'm going to die''.
450
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,080
''Only thinking about you, morena''.
451
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,360
''I'm going to die of love''.
452
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,960
''Ay, I'm going to die
without your heat''.
453
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,160
''Love me, love me.
-I'm going to die''.
454
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,040
''If you don't love me, I'll die.
-I'm going to die''.
455
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,000
''I'm going to die without your heat.
-I'm going to die''.
456
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,480
''I'm going to die.
-I'm going to die''.
457
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,400
''I'm going to die
of love, of love, baby''.
458
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,720
''of love that I had.
-I'm going to die''.
459
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,000
''I'm dying.
I'm dying of love, you see?''
460
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,520
''I'm dying.
I'm dying of love, you see?''
461
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:05,400
''without your heat, mulatto,
it's not enough''.
462
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,760
''Love will die,
if you're gone tomorrow''.
463
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,520
''I'm telling you.
-I'm going to die''.
464
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,440
''Ay, I'm telling you.
-I'm going to die''.
465
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,760
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
466
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,480
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
467
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,880
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
468
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:29,920
''Ay, if you're gone, mulatto,
my heart rips in two''.
469
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,240
''I'm going to die''.
470
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,840
''And I can't anymore.
-I'm going to die''.
471
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:38,080
''My heart will die
just thinking of you''.
472
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:42,120
''Only thinking about you, morena''.
473
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,240
''I'm going to die of love''.
474
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,200
''Ay, I'm going to die
without your heat''.
475
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,800
''Love me, love me.
-I'm going to die''.
476
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,960
''If you don't love me, I'll die.
-I'm going to die''.
477
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,320
''Love me, love me.
-I'm going to die''
478
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,160
''of love that I had.
-I'm going to die''.
479
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,480
''I'm dying.
I'm dying of love, you see?''
480
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:02,960
''I'm dying.
I'm dying of love, you see?''
481
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,880
''without your heat, mulatto,
it's not enough''.
482
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:13,320
''Love will die
if you're gone tomorrow''.
483
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,000
''I'm telling you.
-I'm going to die''.
484
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,720
''Ay, I'm telling you.
-I'm going to die''.
485
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,240
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
486
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,800
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
487
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,520
''I'm going,
I'm going to die of love''.
488
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:32,600
''Ay, if you're gone, mulatto,
my heart rips in two''.
489
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,200
''And I can't anymore.
-I'm going to die''.
490
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:40,640
''My heart will die
just thinking of you''.
491
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,440
''Only thinking about you, morena''.
492
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:49,440
''I'm going to die of love.
I'm going to die without your heat''.
493
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,560
''Love me, love me.
-I'm going to die''.
494
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,560
''If you don't love me, I'll die.
-I'm going to die''.
495
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,200
''Love me, love me.
-I'm going to die''.
496
00:29:58,600 --> 00:29:59,800
''She's gone''.
497
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,800
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