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www.titlovi.com
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We're all accidents.
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We don't choose our parents
nor where we're born.
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We're the result of a shag.
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A lot of the time, a bad one.
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The price man has paid
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for turning from a beast
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into a rational being,
that is neurosis.
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The mind isn't just...
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a neuronal matter,
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which it is, too.
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We are something more complex.
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An epiphenomenon.
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And that's what you are.
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You, as a person.
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Well, what more could you want?
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You, transformed
into a person-in-progress.
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And that's what psychoanalysis
does to you.
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Brings out the best of me
inside you,
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brings out the best of me inside me.
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Now, said like that, it seems easy,
but it's hard.
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The most worthwhile people
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are those who can enter
their subconscious and get back out.
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These people see more than the rest.
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Get it?
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Yes. I think so, anyway.
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I enter my subconscious,
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and what do I see?
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I see Santiago de Cuba,
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the street called Enramadas,
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the town criers: ''Maní!''.
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''Maní!''.
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''The peanut man is leaving!''.
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I see the folk singers singing,
the black women dancing...
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I hear the great Benny Moré.
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And I remember the taste
of the mangoes from El Caney,
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as well as...
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00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:02,980
I see the mountains in the distance,
covered with palm trees.
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00:03:07,940 --> 00:03:10,460
And I smell the scent
of tobacco and rum,
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of sugar cane and the sea.
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And it illuminates me.
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Soon I realized
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that the Cuban Revolution
was headed for disaster.
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They started copying
the Soviet Stalinist model.
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I ran from what I've wanted most
in this life, damn it,
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Cuba.
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''Oh, my Cuba...''.
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You're going to hear the music.
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''Oh, my Cuba...''.
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''Oh, my Cuba...''.
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''Oh, my Cuba...''.
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''Oh, my Cuba...''.
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The Matamoros trio!
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''Oh...''.
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''I'm going to die''.
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''Oh, my love''.
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''I'm going to die.
-Oh, my love''.
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''I'm going to die''.
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''Oh, my love, you see''.
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''I'm going to die''.
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''I'm going to die from love
if you don't love me''.
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This is fast-lane Cuban life.
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Life is just
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an express train
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that travels miles and miles.
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Time is the train tracks
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and the train doesn't
come back again!
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00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:02,580
''My heart...
-I'm going to die''.
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00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,540
''You are...
-I'm going to die''.
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''Oh, my love.
-I'm going to die''.
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''Thinking, thinking of you.
-I'm going to die''.
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''Thinking, thinking of you.
-I'm going to die''.
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''Without your love, mulatto.
-I'm going to die''.
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''I'm going to die''.
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''I'm going to die from love.
-I'm going to die''.
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''I'm going to die without your heat.
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''Ay, ay, ay''.
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''Ay, ay, ay''.
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''I'm going to die.
-Ay, ay, ay''.
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00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,780
''Ay, ay, ay.
-I'm going to die''.
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''Ay, ay, ay.
-I'm going to die''.
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So fantastic...
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CHAPTER FIVE
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TELL THE TRUTH.
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THEN EAT DORITOS
IN THE DARK IN A PARKING
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''That night, quite late,
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I was sketching in my red notebook
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the most traumatic moments
from my childhood,
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for a possible PowerPoint
I wanted to show
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to my parents
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00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:17,380
during Christmas dinner,
when suddenly,
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the door rang''.
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''And I was home alone''
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because my roommates
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were at an Xbox tournament
for ''Call of Duty'' at...
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00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:33,500
a DJ friend's house,
Dani Mitrani, he plays reggae.
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So I was home alone. Then,
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''yeah, I heard the doorbell,
I went to the door
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and it was...''.
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Hi. Do you recognize me?
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Uh? Yeah.
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Well.
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Uh, we need to have a serious talk.
Can I come in?
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And she came in.
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''She came in''.
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''I didn't let her in, really.
She just came in
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00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:03,580
and that's when
the craziness started''.
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00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:04,900
Well, that's enough of this, no?
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Dog days are over.
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What?
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''Dog days are over,
dog days are gone''.
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''The horses are coming so...
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you'd better run. Run...
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fast''.
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This can't be.
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What?
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Look at me when I'm talking to you.
Look properly. Look at me!
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Look at me.
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''It was very strange''.
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It was very strange, very strange.
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You invited her?
-No, no, no.
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It had been months
since I saw her last.
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She came out of the blue,
appeared suddenly
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and literally started to...
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''to talk nonsense''.
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''She started saying things
like art
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is dead and a load of other
mad ravings''.
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''It was impossible
to understand her''.
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''Until quite inappropriately...''
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00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:06,260
she told me...
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00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:12,660
that I was the worst person
she'd met.
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You're the Devil.
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Fuck, you're the Devil.
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What?
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Are you okay?
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Because of you
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I've gotten sick, you know.
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I caught it, Freud's sickness.
139
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No, that's not real.
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00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,420
Yes.You yourself said it,
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when someone starts therapy,
everyone else around them gets sick.
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That was a joke.
-No it wasn't.
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It was a joke.
Portuondo told me that to be funny.
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No, enough. It won't work anymore.
145
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What?
146
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,940
I've discussed this with others.
-Huh?
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Pete knows already.
148
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:02,460
Who?
-Sebastián knows, too.
149
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,660
Andrei also knows.
150
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,500
Everyone thinks the same. Everyone.
151
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,900
What?
-You've demolished me mentally
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with your tacky jokes
and your mind games.
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It's...
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No, no...
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But enough, no.
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I knew it.
157
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What?
-I knew it.
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Dude, I knew sooner or later
you would set up
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a pseudo-psychologist cult.
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Enough.
-Disgusting.
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Enough, please.
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All this...
-No, no.
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No. ''Enough'', no.
-Yes, yes, enough.
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I don't know what's happened to you.
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I'm just going to therapy.
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I don't know what's going on.
-Haha!
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I don't think we're understanding
each other at all, okay?
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Because of you they locked me in
a psychiatric ward for a few days!
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What?
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00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:03,700
They gave me electroshock therapy.
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00:10:05,540 --> 00:10:06,620
It was horrible.
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00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:09,700
''And then, during all that
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I had a terrifying thought
that I couldn't get out of my head.
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That Estela would be carrying
a knife in her bag, but...''
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not just any knife,
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00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:20,460
the hunting knife her dad gave her
for her birthday''.
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00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:27,660
And suddenly I understood that she
came for revenge
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and that she was going to be the one
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to stab me in the end,
not some stranger
180
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''in a supermarket''.
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00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:35,900
No, Estela.
-You're evil.
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You're so evil.
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Very evil.
-Estela.
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You're a corruptor of dreams,
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that's what you are.
-Calm down.
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Because I was only doing...
Estela, please.
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You disgust me.
-Please.
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00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:53,220
Estela, no.
189
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No, Estela, calm down.
190
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,020
Enough, please, huh?
191
00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:05,460
No. Enough, get out of my house.
192
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:07,460
Please, get out of my house.
193
00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:09,740
Estela, get out, please.
194
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Please, leave my house.
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00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:04,340
''She didn't leave
and a long time went by...
196
00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:06,940
and she still didn't leave''.
197
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:10,220
''And that's when I knew
that she had hidden
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00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,180
in the dark,
inside the building''.
199
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,020
And what did you do?
-And then...
200
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:25,580
The terror set in, pure terror.
201
00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:41,940
Fear or worry?
202
00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:46,780
There's a huge difference
between fear or worry and anxiety.
203
00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,940
How much difference?
-A lot.
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00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:52,260
First is fear,
205
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the basic biological fear
that human beings have.
206
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,140
A little bit of fear is good,
it saves your life.
207
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:05,340
A fearless person
is capable of atrocities.
208
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:07,980
Then there's worry.
209
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:13,460
A person is worried because
they're scared of the unknown.
210
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,540
That needs to be worked on.
211
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,260
There are a lot of worried people.
212
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:21,500
But I'd rather work this way.
213
00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:24,300
I hate pills. You know that.
214
00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:28,260
And finally, there's anxiety.
215
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:31,700
Anxiety...
216
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:35,500
is worry
turned chronic.
217
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:38,340
In other words...
218
00:13:39,660 --> 00:13:41,100
anxiety manifests itself.
219
00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:42,500
When you're feeling that way,
220
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:44,380
like you can't breathe,
221
00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:47,620
you're short of breath
and you just can't,
222
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:50,500
that's anxiety.
And you're manifesting it.
223
00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:53,220
Yes.
224
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:57,260
Going back to fear,
that's the root of it all,
225
00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,500
of sensuality and aggression.
226
00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:04,620
Now, for me, aggression
227
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,500
surpasses sensuality.
228
00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:09,780
Sure.
229
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:14,660
Well, all that you just said,
I was a bit of it all.
230
00:14:14,740 --> 00:14:16,300
I was scared, I was...
231
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:20,460
worried, I was also anxious
and sensual, too...
232
00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:21,940
Well,...
-...and aggressive.
233
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:23,820
...a little fear is good.
234
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,340
Yeah, but so much of it?
235
00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:27,940
And a little aggression,
too, for fuck's sake,
236
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:30,220
to get a kick out of life, damn it.
237
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,140
But I couldn't do that...
238
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:34,740
I couldn't. I stayed quiet.
239
00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:38,980
''I was terrified..
I couldn't react in the slightest''.
240
00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:41,220
''Until suddenly
the doorbell rang again''.
241
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,100
''Who was it? Her?''.
242
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:51,940
Of course. It was her.
It was Estela again.
243
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,980
She was my girlfriend.
Who else would it be? And...
244
00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:02,100
Hi.
245
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:04,460
Don't you recognize me?
246
00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:10,020
Uh, can I come in?
247
00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:12,340
It was like she had amnesia.
248
00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:13,980
What's wrong? You're acting weird.
249
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:15,740
''As if she hadn't come by''
250
00:15:15,820 --> 00:15:18,500
already making threats
and wild accusations.
251
00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:20,180
And I'm like...
252
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,260
Then suddenly she said to me
253
00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:26,700
that she accepted the situation,
that she understood everything,
254
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:30,060
and that time
had let her distance herself.
255
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:43,620
Have you moved the sofa?
256
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,380
Your apartment's looking cool.
257
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:53,140
I like it.
258
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,820
This blanket is, like, soft.
259
00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:00,660
I don't know, like...
260
00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,060
Have you changed something?
-Are you...?
261
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:06,580
Wow.
-Are you okay?
262
00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:09,180
Huh?
-Are you okay?
263
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:13,500
Yeah.
264
00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,180
Sure?
-Yeah, yeah.
265
00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:19,420
I'm amazing, in fact.
Superb.
266
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,980
But you were just here...
267
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,180
Got any M&M's?
268
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,820
I feel like M&M's. Don't know.
269
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:31,340
Come on, bring me some M&M's
since you're up.
270
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:32,420
''Please''.
271
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:37,700
Come on!
272
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:02,580
What?
273
00:17:30,740 --> 00:17:32,300
Do you remember when...
274
00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:37,580
we met with Joaquín Costa
for some white wine
275
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:41,660
and we were up until 3 am,
talking about...
276
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:46,860
all of Douglas Sirk
and William Wyler's movies?
277
00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:50,100
Buñuel's Mexican films...
278
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:54,300
''Ensayo de un crimen'',
279
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,300
what a movie.
280
00:17:58,260 --> 00:17:59,260
Huh?
281
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,340
Yeah, yeah, Buñuel and...
-Sí.
282
00:18:03,740 --> 00:18:05,380
and Douglas Sirk.
-Douglas Sirk.
283
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,940
''I didn't know how to react.
She held me hostage''.
284
00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,780
I was being kept hostage.
285
00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:16,220
It was an emotional kidnapping,
and so strange, a mental kidnapping.
286
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,540
And we went to the
Filmoteca, and there...
287
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,540
we walked up El Raval
until Amirall.
288
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:25,700
And we spent dinner
talking about the movies and art...
289
00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:27,780
music...
290
00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:29,660
Cinema again.
291
00:18:33,260 --> 00:18:34,500
Wow.
-Wow, yeah.
292
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,100
Yeah.
-How things change, huh?
293
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:43,300
But there's always
294
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:46,100
tomorrow. Always.
295
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:50,900
''There's always tomorrow''.
296
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:53,980
''There's always tomorrow''.
297
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,860
What great names Douglas Sirk
came up with.
298
00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:09,580
You remember that time
we tried making home-made sashimi
299
00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:14,380
and I don't know if it defrosted
wrong but we ended up in hospital?
300
00:19:15,340 --> 00:19:16,340
And... like...
301
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:20,860
we couldn't stop shitting.
302
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:24,100
Like, there was so much shit.
303
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:25,740
So, so much.
304
00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,740
''There was even one moment''
305
00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:30,260
when she started
flirting with me
306
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:34,700
making clear to me that
everything that had happened before
307
00:19:36,580 --> 00:19:37,940
wasn't real, that...
308
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,940
it was an overreaction.
309
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:44,980
Damn, we're so nice and cozy...
310
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,580
so, so...
-You told me...
311
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,340
that they had admitted you, right?
312
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:52,020
No... No.
313
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,140
That was a little visit, that's all.
314
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,340
Nothing, a visit.
315
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:01,420
Let's see?
316
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,340
Hands up.
317
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,020
Hands up.
318
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:15,700
Hands up.
319
00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:22,220
Why don't we watch a movie?
320
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:24,700
''Mediterráneo''?
321
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:26,700
What's that?
322
00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:30,220
Or we can play Mario Party.
323
00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:34,060
No, no, no...
324
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:35,900
Estela,
325
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,500
enough, okay?
326
00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:38,620
Estela...
327
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,100
Oops!
-Come on.
328
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:41,340
Or with the titty.
-Leave that.
329
00:20:42,260 --> 00:20:44,580
That's not mine. Leave it, please.
330
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,940
A little titty?
-Estela, enough.
331
00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:50,140
Titty?
-Estela.
332
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:52,700
Titty... titty.
333
00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:53,780
Titty.
334
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:57,900
Estela, enough.
335
00:20:57,980 --> 00:20:58,980
What?
336
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,260
Enough.
337
00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:05,460
What?
338
00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:10,260
I thought I could only do
something.
339
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:13,900
And I remembered
what you'd told me many times,
340
00:21:15,463 --> 00:21:16,463
that you can't...
341
00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:19,500
that you can't face the world,
342
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:21,660
you can't be
fighting against the world
343
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:23,580
and despite how scared I was...
344
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:30,820
''I got close to her...''
345
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:07,940
and the girl I'd met
came back.
346
00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:11,100
It was like...
347
00:22:12,020 --> 00:22:14,660
Like that, she took the hug
and left, that's it.
348
00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:40,500
''And then I looked out
of the window and saw
349
00:22:40,580 --> 00:22:42,220
her in the street below''.
350
00:22:47,180 --> 00:22:48,180
But I don't know...
351
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:51,660
I feel bad.
352
00:22:54,380 --> 00:22:55,980
Nobody is to blame.
353
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:57,900
Yeah.
354
00:22:58,780 --> 00:22:59,780
The most difficult thing
355
00:23:01,420 --> 00:23:03,340
is to look someone in the eyes.
356
00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:08,580
That's why relationships
are so complicated.
357
00:23:12,060 --> 00:23:14,260
The best is being lovers.
358
00:23:16,780 --> 00:23:18,740
''Spouse-friends'', like we said
in Cuba.
359
00:23:19,267 --> 00:23:20,427
That's the easiest.
360
00:23:22,497 --> 00:23:23,497
She does this way.
361
00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:25,220
You go that way.
362
00:23:25,860 --> 00:23:28,580
See each other once a week,
a weekend...
363
00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:32,780
But a serious relationship
is insanely hard.
364
00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:37,460
The fantasy
and the narcissism are lost.
365
00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:40,060
Face to face...
366
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,860
You wake up in the morning
face to face.
367
00:23:45,220 --> 00:23:47,060
You go out to eat, face to face.
368
00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,940
At dinnertime,
face to face.
369
00:23:50,620 --> 00:23:52,820
You go to bed,
face to face.
370
00:23:53,620 --> 00:23:55,300
Face to face is really tough.
371
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:09,420
''Yeah''.
372
00:24:10,580 --> 00:24:13,820
I don't know, maybe I was a coward
when we broke up.
373
00:24:15,780 --> 00:24:17,940
Nobody can force you
to love them.
374
00:24:18,460 --> 00:24:19,740
Yeah, but...
375
00:24:23,140 --> 00:24:25,860
''but I feel like I wasn't brave''
376
00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:29,020
the last time we saw each other
and said goodbye,
377
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:31,980
I did it wrong
and now I feel...''
378
00:24:33,239 --> 00:24:37,341
despite all that weirdness
I took a step forward
379
00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:40,860
And facing her
approaching her, hugging her
380
00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:44,140
and stopped being
like a scared kid, basically.
381
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:47,580
I managed to overcome the conflict,
382
00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:49,140
I looked at my fear in the face...
383
00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:52,260
Don't intellectualize so much, man!
384
00:24:52,940 --> 00:24:55,780
You're always getting into
some fucked up things.
385
00:24:56,980 --> 00:24:57,980
Why?
386
00:24:58,740 --> 00:25:00,020
Just because.
387
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:03,620
Your ex came to see you
because she needed a hug.
388
00:25:39,260 --> 00:25:40,660
Bye.
-See you later.
389
00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:51,300
BASED ON THE BOOK ''DOCTOR PORTUONDO''
BY CARLO PADIAL,
390
00:25:51,380 --> 00:25:52,580
PUBLISHED BY BLACKIE BOOKS
391
00:25:55,580 --> 00:25:59,580
Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com
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