All language subtitles for The.Guest.Book.S01E08.720p.HDTV.AVS.en

Hey, bruh? That show I told you

about is on again tonight.

The stripper who was
blackmailing the old man

already made him give her
the keys to Froggy Cottage once,

but now she's trying to do it again.

Plus, the cute little
policewoman and the doctor

are finally going to go on a date.

But I get the feeling that's
not gonna happen this week.

If you want, I think you can catch up

on the episodes online at tbs.com.

Yeah, I'll try.

Don't really know how to do that stuff.

Bro, we work at a computer store.

Hmm?

- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Hello. My name is Dr. Laurie Gallif,

and today I will be presenting

the results of my recent study.

It all started with my trip to Germany,

where I was lucky enough
to visit a facility

for Alzheimer's patients

that is experimenting in

a new way to treat dementia.

Rather than forcing patients

to accept their current situation,

they encourage them

to revisit the past.

The patients live in housing units

resembling the 1950s,

1960s, whatever time period

the patients are most comfortable in.

And in doing so, these patients

are living better lives.

And in some cases,
they are even regaining

some sense of who they once were.

With this in mind, my goal was to create

my own small-scale version,

hoping that, with success,

our facility would fund similar

programs in the future.

So, without further ado,

I would like to introduce you

to Mr. Edgar Barns.

Aw!

Suffering from advanced Alzheimer's

and having no family to speak of,

Mr. Barns was a mystery.

I emptied his storage unit,
hoping to find clues

on how to create the
ideal environment for him.

As I thumbed through his photo album,

I found the perfect
blueprint to recreate

the world he used to live in.

I searched online

and found a cabin in the mountains

that was a pretty good match
for Edgar's old house.

Then I borrowed a friend's
classic pickup truck

that looked close enough to

the one Edgar used to have.

At least, it did after I
took off the Truck Nutz.

I even bought a few vintage outfits

to make everything feel authentic.

And just to be safe, I hired a nurse

to come along with us.

I look like Steve Harvey's grandfather.

Oh, no. Edgar,

I think Darnell was going to drive.

I'm just warming the car up

while Beatrice gets ready for church.

Beatrice must be his wife.

Oh, my God.

This is working.

So, Edgar, this sure is
a nice truck you have.

Did you drive to work in this truck?

Do you remember what
you did for a living?

How about the city you grew up in?

Any idea?

Oh.

This is gonna be a long weekend.

Anybody else answer our ad

to rent the old guy's cabins?

Nothing yet.

But I am glad I stole his laptop.

I found a website where
you can talk to women

who want to cheat on their husbands.

She kinda looks like that girl
that's on "Who's the Boss?"

I wonder if it is her.

I'll see if the Internet
knows if she's married.

Just don't jizz up the keyboard.

Okay? We need that computer.

She's married.

Holy shit.

I'm gonna bang...

Ali-sa-sa Me-lay-no.

Hit that shit, brother.

I hope I never lose my mind.

I think Wilfrid's starting
to lose his, though.

Oh, I'm fine.

Then why did it take you
two hours this morning

to buy light bulbs?

I like to stop and smell the roses.

Hey, Mom.

Oh, nothing much.

Just watching a black guy in a zoot suit

force an elderly white
man into an old pickup.

Couple months ago, I'd already
have my taser out, but...

Well, you watch the news.

It's a good thing I chased
down this baseball.

It's signed by Jackie Robinson.

Home.

Yes!

Yes, Edgar. You're home.

Beatrice?

I think he thinks you're his wife.

Uh, yes, Edgar?

- Can I help you with something?
- What's Willie doing here?

- Who?
- Willie the handyman.

Oh! He is

- here to fix the...
- Stove.

I-I was fixing the stove.

On... On my way to a jazz show.

At the speakeasy?

That's very nice, Willie.

We'll be sure and call you again

next time something else gets broken.

I'll show you out.

I can't believe it. This
couldn't be going any better.

Yeah, for you. You get to
stay in the house, Beatrice.

Where the hell is Willie the
handyman supposed to sleep?

How about in the truck?

What? It's in the garage.
That's kinda like a bedroom.

I'll pay you double.

All right, fine. As long
as we're doing this,

I hope you have to sleep
in the same bed with him.

I'm not going to sleep

in the same bed with him.

Of course, I was going

to sleep in the same bed with him.

If I was going to do this,

I had to do it right.

Good night, Edgar.

- Oh! Oh!
- Stick it in.

You do it better. I get lost down there.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm on my period.

Ugh! If you've got the rag on,

you shouldn't be parading
around the house

with your knees showing,

you cock-tease.

And if I've told you once,

I've told you a thousand times,

I don't want Willie in this house.

There's plenty of white
men you could've hired

to fix that stove.

I don't need some jigaboo

traipsing his black
ass through my house.

Good night.

Good night.

Some people might get discouraged
when the sweet old man

they're trying to help turns
out to be a horrible person.

But, scientifically speaking,

the fact that he remembered

he was a racist asshole
was a major victory.

And let's be honest...

White men over 80
are like lotto tickets.

9 times out of 10, you're
not gonna like what you see

after you scratch the surface.

Ahh. Jesus, Bea.

Could these strips of bacon be thinner?

I'm over here squinting like a Chinaman

just to see 'em on the plate.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll make some more.

Oh, Edgar?

If someone wanted to mail us a letter,

where should they send it?

4236 Elmwood Lane,

Goose Creek, South Carolina.

Subject remembers his address.

Good morning.

I'm here to fix the shower.

Look, things are going great,

and I don't want anything
to mess that up,

so maybe you shouldn't
come in the house.

- What am I supposed to do?
- I don't know.

- Go explore the town.
- Beatrice!

Oh. Coming!

Wh...

Looking for something, honey?

My white suit. I need it for Sunday.

Where is it? I always
keep it right here.

Oh. You know what?

I washed it, and it accidentally shrank.

Goddamn it!

If you can't hold a baby
longer than six weeks,

at least be good at laundry!

I guess I gotta make another one.

You know how to sew your own suit?

Of course I do.

I'm a tailor.

It's my job.

Good God.

First you forget our address,

then you forget my profession.

Women. I still can't believe

we gave you ditzy split-tails
the right to vote.

He remembered he's a tailor.

Excuse me, sir? Hey, you know how to...

Upload a picture on the Internet?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, sweet.

- Is that your dick?
- Yeah.

Why is there a Matchbox
car next to your dick?

For scale.

Here you go.

Mmm.

That's a good-looking dick right there.

The subject is progressing nicely.

Not only does he remember his name,

address, spouse, and profession,

but he's also exhibiting some...

Personality traits

that were dormant due to the dementia.

Obviously, the more successful
this experiment is,

the more funding our
facility can earmark

toward future weekends
away with other patients.

These types of successes are...

Edgar? Edgar?!

Where are you going?!

Sunday meeting. Lots of stuff to plan.

Uh... Hi.

I'm a doctor, too.

Advanced Alzheimer's.

We're trying a new therapy.

Well, good luck with that.

Edgar! Edgar! They canceled the meeting.

- They called while you were sewing.
- Really? Who called?

- Clem?
- Clem Wilkerson?

The treasurer called our house?

Why'd they cancel the meeting?

Um...

He said something about the...

Cheap Jew...

That owns the meeting hall

trying to save a buck
and double-booking it

to a bunch of dirty Catholics,

and they don't think...

The lazy Mexicans

are going to be able to
clean it up in time.

Makes sense.

You gotta be shitting me!

You want to tell me

why the Grand Wizard of the KKK

- just waltzed his ass into this house?
- That was Edgar.

And I'm sure he wasn't the Grand Wizard.

He was very impressed when the
treasurer called, for Chrissake.

Look, as it turns out,

Edgar used to be a little racist.

Beatrice, If you're through bleeding

all over my clean floor,

could you drag your dumb ass in here?

And also a little misogynistic.

Excuse me for a second.

- Yes?
- I need you to run to the store for me,

pick up some supplies.

Sure thing.

- What now?
- He wanted me to go to the store

to buy him a few things he needs...

To burn down a church.

This is a story about a porn star.

Oh, no, you gotta turn the page.

Obviously, things had
taken a turn for the worse.

But if you just look at the experiment

and not the awful person
we were dealing with,

things couldn't have been going better.

This dude's got detailed
plans to burn down

some Methodist church on Carter Lane.

We're not gonna let him do it!

Look, we just have to get
through this weekend

with enough evidence to prove

that the therapy is working.

Think of all the people we can help.

- Black people.
- Don't do that.

Wait a second.

What if he's already
burned down this church?

I mean, you said he's been
remembering stuff, right?

- I seriously doubt...
- I'm-a Google this shit.

Hey.

I don't normally do that, so

you'd better catch that rat.

I don't know what you're talking about.

That's bullshit! That's my computer.

You stole my computer.

Look, I got my Rick
Santorum sticker on it.

What the hell is going on here?

This idiot stole my computer

and went on my online dating membership

to try to sleep with a married woman.

And he sent his address

with a picture of his dick
next to a little car.

You used his account?

Yeah. Memberships cost
a couple hundred bucks,

and his information
was already on there.

Can I at least get the info
of that married woman?

The woman was me.

How do you think I found you?

I got an e-mail saying someone
was using my account,

so I created a fake woman
to set a trap for you.

You're such a idiot.

I used Alyssa Milano's
picture, for Chrissake.

That wasn't really her?

Oh, that's a bummer.

If I didn't have a pregnant wife

that can't find out I'm
having affairs online,

I'd call the cops.
Consider yourself lucky.

Well, all things considered,

that didn't turn out half bad.

That computer was the only way

to place ads to rent those cabins!

Now I have to use
the one at the library,

- and I hate the library!
- Sorry.

Uhh!

Chubbys. We won't tell if you don't.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Okay. Uh... yeah.

Let me ask her.

Hey, someone's on the phone

about renting a cabin.

I'll be right there.

Go tell the old guy we need the keys.

Hello?

Got it.

"June 15, 1958.

"The Methodist Church on Carter Lane

"in Goose Creek, South Carolina,

"was burned in what was
suspected to be an act of arson.

"Witnesses claim to have seen

"a pickup truck leaving the scene,

"but according to District
Attorney Clem Wilkerson,

"no suspects were ever questioned."

Oh, my God.

"The fire occurred in
the middle of the night

"while the church was empty.

"However, the church often housed

"down-on-their-luck parishioners

"in an adjunct structure,
which also caught fire,

"resulting in one casualty, Mister..."

"Willie Turner, local handyman"?

He killed me!

That son of a bitch killed me,
and he's trying to do it again.

He wants to make a twice-baked Negro.

I'm calling the cops.

Fine, but let's wait till we get back.

- Please let me finish the experiment.
- Beatrice,

can I talk to you in the
bedroom for a second?

Willie. Looking good.

Lose some weight?

Yeah, I lost weight. All of it.

I'm a goddamn ghost thanks to you,

you backward-ass cracker.

Listen, Edgar, I know you want...

Oh!

That's for not listening.

Now go put something

pretty on so we can get to church

before they give away all the
good seats to the cripples.

And how many times do I have to tell you

to throw this out?

It became worthless after my father

let that coon who ruined

baseball write his name on it.

Subject is a racist,

murdering, spousal-abusing,
reprehensible,

irredeemable son of a bitch.

He also remembered his father.

- We're calling the police.
- What about your experiment?

He just hit me!

Oh!

Black handyman gets murdered,
but we can let it slide.

White woman gets slapped,

and we gotta send up the Bat-Signal.

This is that bullshit!

Beatrice, hurry up!

We're gonna be late for church.

So while...

Some results from the experiment

- could be considered a failure...
- "Could be"?

Your patient accidentally killed himself

while you and your
nurse were distracted.

Yes. That was unfortunate.

And I wish we could have
stopped that from happening,

even though I think we can all agree

the world is probably a
better place without Edgar.

But more importantly,

we shouldn't let that
one mishap overshadow

that there were some real
successes along the way

that warrant funding for future programs

that could really benefit our patients.

Well, I guess that makes sense.

But to be safe, next time let's
try with a black person.

♪ I've got a long list
of real good reasons ♪

♪ For all the things I've done ♪

♪ I've got a picture in
the back of my mind ♪

♪ Of what I've lost and what I've won ♪

♪ I've survived every situation ♪

♪ Knowing when to freeze
and when to run ♪

♪ And regret is just a memory ♪

♪ written on my brow ♪

♪ And there's nothing
I can do about it now ♪

♪ I've got a wild
and a restless spirit ♪

♪ I held my price through every deal ♪

♪ And I've been dreaming like a child ♪

♪ Since the cradle broke the bough ♪

♪ And there's nothing
I can do about it now ♪

♪ And there's nothing
I can do about it now ♪

Hello? Is this God's country?

That's what the poster says.

Perfect.

I think He wants me to meet Him here.

- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -