All language subtitles for MASH (1972) - S11E12 - Say No More (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 ImE)_track4_[eng]

♪♪ [theme]

MARGARET: ♪ Let a smile
be your umbrella ♪

-♪ On a rainy, rainy day
-[water running]

♪ And if your sweetie cries

♪ Just tell her that a smile
will always pay ♪

[humming]

MAN [on P.A.]: Sorry, folks,

but we're having a surprise
medical convention

in the compound,
on the double.

-[chatter]
-[panting]

[groans]

Shoulder wound.
Hang a pint, Goldilocks.

Is that all?
It's freezing out here.

POTTER:
Hunnicutt, over here.

Get him prepped. And stay
away from my porridge.

-MAN: Come on, over here.
-Pretty bad fracture there.

I'm giving you
something for the pain.

I just took a little shrapnel,
that's all. I'll be okay.

Uh-huh.

Get him into pre-op and keep
that leg immobilized.

Eiffel didn't use
that much metal in his tower.

Hey, Maloney, you okay?

I'll be fine, Lieutenant.
How about you?

Doc says I skinned my knee.
It's no big deal.

How you feeling, son?

No problem with me, doc.

Just make sure they take
extra good care

of Lieutenant Collins.

He saved our butts.

And then he said
from out of nowhere

Collins dashes right through

that Commie machine gunner's
line of sight.

Sponge.
And pitches two grenades

that would've made him
the envy of Dizzy Dean.

A shame he couldn't get back
in time to beat that mortar.

He's lucky it's just his leg
I'm putting back together.

Lucky or not,
that boy's a certified hero.

CHARLES:
More gauze here.

Here's your gauze, doctor.

Is there anything else
you need?

Whew! Well, certainly not
anesthetic.

One whiff of your hair
could put anybody out.

There is absolutely nothing
different about my hair.

Now, Margaret, I didn't
want to stick my nose
into this, so to speak.

Retraction. But I got to
admit the aroma in here

has brought me back
to those dreaded summer days

when Mildred would
put up turnips.

Okay, okay, so big deal.

I gave myself
a home permanent.

I'm going to a lecture

the day after
tomorrow in Seoul,

and I simply wanted to be

a proper representative
of this unit.

-Oh, yeah. Is that
the Chesler talk?
-Yes.

Chesler. Isn't he the guy
who did all that work in, uh--

-Emergency!
-Emergency care, yeah.

Yes. He's the one
who wrote the article

that gave me the idea

to expand the nurses'
duties in triage.

He's absolutely brilliant!

Brilliant? Forceps.

That quack is a journeyman
physician at best.

It's his press agent
who's brilliant.

Dr. Windbag is jealous.

Dr. Chesler is known
all over the world,

and you're just another name
in the Boston Yellow Pages.

-MAN: Woo-woo!
-[wolf whistle]

[men whistling, shouting]

Good morning,
Major Monroe.

Hello, madame.

It will my great privilege

-to serve you breakfast.
-[wolf whistle]

We just got in a fresh
shipment of Wheaties.

How about
a heaping bowlful?

[hoarsely] Well--

[clears throat]

Well-- [coughing]

[grunting hoarsely]

[inhale] Uhh!

Major, I feel the same way
about the food here,

but this is all we got.

-[tray clatters]
-Whoa.

Idiot. I can't--

Um, I need a doctor.

[grunts]

Good morning, Major.

If you don't mind my
saying so, hubba-hubba.

[grunting]

Charles.

Aah. Margaret.

Can't you just say
good morning

-as civilized people do?
-[grunting]

It is not my idea of breakfast
fun to play charades.

-[grunting continues]
-Uh, doctor,

I believe
you're being paged.

[grunting]

May I at least finish
my Wheaties? Aah.

Margaret, what is wrong?

Ten-hut!

As you were.

Pierce,
front and center.

In case you hadn't noticed,
this man is a general.

Major General Addison Collins,
this is, uh, Captain--

I'm here to see Lieutenant
Collins. How is he?

Well, he's got a badly
fractured leg,

but the last time I checked,
he was doing okay.

I'm damn glad
to hear that.

Collins and Collins.
Is that just a coincidence,

or does the theory
of relativity apply here?

-He's my son.
-Oh.

Well, nobody ever mentioned

he had fathers in high
places, including him.

Only his C.O. knows. That's
the way the lad wants it.

Now, look, I don't have
time for chitchat.

I have a major offensive
to take care of.

-Can I see him now?
-Sure.

Colonel, if I need anything
further, I'll let you know.

-Uh, fine, General.
-Warm guy.

It was all I could do to keep
from hugging him to pieces.

Curtis.

[panting] Dad.
What are you doin' here?

I just wanted to see if you
were behaving yourself.

How are you, sir?

I'm fine.

You're the one with
the leg pointing north.

It's just broken.

You didn't have to come here.

All they told me was
that you were wounded,

and I'm, uh, grateful
that it's minor.

[panting continues]

-You having trouble breathing?
-No.

It's just all this medication
they stuck in me.

I, uh, hear you saved
a few necks.

I-I just did what I had to do,

what anybody would've done.

Anybody?

What you would've done, sir.

How are things at I-Corps?

Well, that Kumsong bulge
is a real son of a buck.

But we're gonna
hit 'em so hard,

they'll wish
they'd never been born.

Sorry to interrupt
this discussion
of Asian birth control,

but, uh, his dressing
has to be changed.

I think he's had enough
excitement for now.

All right, doctor.

Uh, I'm gonna get some food,
check in with Headquarters.

Get all the rest
you can, son.

Sure, Dad.

Well, it would appear

last night's
unfortunate meeting

between your wet head
and the chill air

has resulted in a rather
nasty case of laryngitis.

[hoarsely] No.

-The lecture.
-Lecture?

Oh, that silly talk in Seoul

by this quack
you've been drooling over.

Must go there.

So go. Last I knew,

the only thing you needed
for a lecture were ears.

-Yours look fine to me.
-No, no. I--

-You?
-Meeting Dr. Chesler after,

personally.

Really?

I thought this was merely
a medical sabbatical.

Is.

I've admired the doctor
for years.

Heard he was coming here.
I wrote him.

Fan mail to a physician.
[laughs] That's cute.

Never expected a reply.

He wrote saying
how impressed he is

with my ideas of triage.

He wants to meet me.

-Me.
-Well, well, well.

It would appear that your
current affliction

wouldn't make any difference.

Your starry-eyed admiration
for the good doctor

would have left you
speechless anyway.

Winchester, voice gone,
fists fine.

I need voice, two days.

You have a fair chance.

Margaret, you know
what do as well as I do.

Every peep you utter

is going to inflame
your vocal fold.

How am I supposed to work
if I can't talk?

Shut mouth. Use pencil.

-General.
-Pierce.

How soon before
I can see my son again?

I've already spent more time
away from Headquarters

than I can spare.

Sorry I had to interrupt
your visit before.

I was concerned
about that difficulty
he was having breathing.

It was a new development,
and I wanted to check it out.

I see. What is it?

Most likely some
postoperative pneumonia.

It's not uncommon.

We should be able to knock
it out without any trouble
with antibiotics.

You said most likely pneumonia.
What else could it be?

Well,
there's a slim chance

it could be the sign
of a fat embolism.

That could be more serious.

How much more? Is he, uh,

uh, out of the woods yet?

No, I can't say for sure,

but I think the odds
are he'll be fine.

If the odds are
one in a hundred,

it means I'll have
to stay right here.

Well, General, I don't
think that's necessary.

Will you show me where
your damn phones are?

Now!

-Sir.
-Sterne.

Colonel Broder's
been put on alert

at Headquarters, sir.

I have the latest
position reports

and troop counts
from Kumsong here.

And all other updated
reconnaissance

-is laid out inside, sir.
-Good, Sterne.

Sergeant, is that
phone network set up?

-Almost, sir.
-Almost? Well, get on it!

Yes, sir.

Potter, where in the hell
do you get these people?

General, you don't have
to go to all this bother.

The VIP tent
is at your disposal.

If there's anything
you need--

No, no, my trailer
has everything I need.

I want the VIP tent
for my aide, immediately.

-And find a bunk for my driver.
-Yes, General.

And a thimble
for the general's charm.

How come he didn't
ask the colonel
to Simonize his trailer?

-[gargling]
-KLINGER [on P.A.]:
Attention, Major Houlihan.

You have a telephone call

from a Dr. Steven Chesler
in Seoul.

Please hurry. I can't
tie up the phone long.

[cough]

[groaning, coughing]

What a pleasant surprise.

It's Harpo.

Love your outfit.

Pss-sss. [groans]

Sometimes a grenade
in his jammies does the trick.

-[grunting]
-[groans]

What do you want with me now?

Dr. Chesler. Well, this is
indeed a... phone call.

I am Dr. Charles
Emerson Winchester.

Perhaps you are familiar
with my work.

Oh. Well, I'm in
the Boston Yellow Pages.

I'm speaking on behalf
of Major Houlihan
who's here with me

but who is
unfortunately suffering

from a rather severe case
of laryngitis.

However, she wanted me,
uh, to tell you,

uh, how much she's
looking food-ward--

No.

Uh,
forward to your lecture.

Uh, she's always felt
that you are the, uh...

greatest surgeon
in the wood.

-[grunting]
-Oh. World.

Sorry. In the world.

Don't thank me. Believe me,
those are her words.

Oh, yes?

Yes, I'll tell her.
Just-- Just-- Just a moment.

Dr. Chesler has had
to change his plans suddenly.

He must return
to the States immediately,

and he's been forced
to cancel his lecture.

-Oh!
-However,

if you can be in Seoul
by 11:00 tomorrow morning,

he'll be honored

to have a meeting
with you at the hospital.

-Oh!
-She said that'd be fine.

Right. She'll see you then.

Uh-huh. Oh, thank you.

What's the point?

He's expecting a nurse,
not a frog.

[knocking]

COLLINS: I know
that route isn't secure,

but it's a chance
we're going to have to take.

I don't give a damn
about the mud!

Hold on a minute.
How is he?

He seems stable. No change.

What about the pneumonia?

It's too soon to expect
any improvement.

-Stay on top of it.
-Mmm.

Well, that's too damn bad!

I want it secure all the way
to phase line Juliet.

These communications are
highly restricted, Pierce.

Is there anything else?
I've got lots of work to do.

Wonderful. That means
I'll have lots of work to do.

Morning, ma'am.
Say, the chow here
is pretty good.

Could I get seconds
on orange juice?

Ah! Orange juice. Ah.

-Feeling any better, Margaret?
-[groan]

Well,
let's have a look at you.

You know, your mother's
gonna ask me

if you've been eating
enough.

Uh, maybe you'd better
put away a little more.

Is that an order, sir?

That'll be 10 days
in the stockade for you

if that egg isn't
over the hill soon.

Thanks for the wagon, Jimmy.

What's that?

-What?
-Are you okay?

Yeah, sure. [panting]

I'm still kind of sleepy.
That's all.

It's hard to get
comfortable in this rig.

Sir, I really appreciate

you taking time out
for these visits.

I know how much work
you gotta do.

Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.

You just get well.

I'm sorry, Margaret.
I don't see much improvement.

However, if it matters
that much to you, go.

It's not gonna kill you.

I mean, the worst
that could happen

is that your recovery is
delayed by two or three days.

Please send telegram.

Well, why not?

I'm often mistaken for
a little Western Union boy.

"Dr. Chesler, must cancel.
Very sorry.

Perhaps another time."
Another time?

The man's leaving
for the States tomorrow.

Not fair
to patients or staff.

Can't work like this.

Another three days
I can't go.

I must say I admire
your dedication.

I'll send this off immediately
if that's what you really want.

Yeah?

Telegram for Dr. Chesler.

Telegram for Dr. Chesler.

[knocking]

[quietly]
Coming. Coming.

[knocking continues]

[gasp]

Margaret, I don't believe
you've met Dr. Chesler.

-Oh.
-This is indeed a pleasure.

[muttering]

Oh.

I believe
that Major Houlihan

-is inviting you to come in.
-Yeah.

Well, get acquainted,
you two.

Oh, ah-- ah--

Now, please don't
strain your voice.

Ah. Why are you here?

Well,
under the circumstances,

I could hardly refuse
your invitation.

I invited you?

Well, I realize that
Dr. Winchester's voice

was on the telephone
this morning,

but you were
standing next to him

telling him all those
nice things to say.

Yes. Yes, that was me. Yes.

You know, I don't know

whether it's your
dedication to your job

or all those lovely things
you said about me,

but I wanted to meet you
before I left.

I'm...

speechless.

Good news, Private.
Your temperature's
back to normal.

[wheezing, coughing]

Get Dr. Pierce!

Now, look, Broder,

Hickman's been stalling
with that ammunition

for too damn long,
and I'm just about to--

How is he?

I'll call you back.

Well?

I'm sorry.
He didn't make it.

What do you mean,
he didn't make it?

He was fine this morning,
you son of a bitch!

It came on suddenly.

A fat embolism somehow
got into his bloodstream.

It happens sometimes
with fractures like that.

He was gone in minutes.

There was nothing
anybody could do.

[sighs]

You have any children?

No. I'm not married.

Curt was about 7.
We moved to Virginia.

We had a big elm tree
in the yard-- big one.

Curt was always
very small for his age,

but from the very first day
he tried to climb it.

Some days he'd fall.

Other times he'd--
he'd get all skinned up,

but he kept tryin'.

And then one day, uh,

he was about 9.
He finally made it.

I don't know who was
prouder, him or me.

That night he came to me,
and he said, uh,

"Dad, can we move
away from here?"

Well, I asked him, "Why?"

Know what he said?

He said-- [chuckle]--

"So we can get a house

with a bigger tree."

I barely knew your son.

You kneel over a kid for a few
seconds in the compound,

and, uh...

if there's time,
you read a dog tag

and call him by name.

But there are too many
to really remember.

But sometimes
the special ones stick out.

Curt was in a lot of pain,

but the only thing that
concerned him was his men.

They thought he was
pretty special too.

Thanks.

I guess the only thing
you didn't like about him...

was his father.

No, let's-- let's just say

that we--
we see things differently.

You may find this
hard to believe, Pierce,

but I never pushed Curt
to make a career of the army.

It's a tough, tough life.

But he wanted to be
like his old man.

And I guess, when a boy
sees the uniform

with all its brass
and ribbons, he...

he doesn't see the dirt
and blood that line it.

And I'm sure he felt

the way to make me proud

was to do as I did,
only better.

And that's what
got him killed.

You don't know that.

If Curt hadn't volunteered,
he would've been drafted.

Thousands of kids die here,

and it doesn't have anything
to do with who they are

or whether they
wanted to be here.

[sigh]

In this room they're pins.

When they die out there...

you can't feel
the pain in here.

When enough of them die...

you just remove a pin.

So many wars,
campaigns, battles.

Not enough time
to give names to the dead.

They just die by the numbers.

I always knew that somewhere
for every number...

there was somebody to cry.

But I never heard
the crying in this room.

They were always
other men's sons.

Will you drink
with me, Pierce?

Of course.

To every man's son.

Would you ask my aide
to come in here, please?

Yeah, sure.

This is Collins again.

Get me I-Corps back,
right away.

Broder, make damn sure

that ammunition
gets there by 0800.

I know the west flank's
exposed.

I don't have any choice!

[phone is hung up]

Hello, Margaret. How did it
go with you and the quack?

Oh. He-- I-- We--

[cheering, whistling]

♪♪ [theme]