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00:00:01,392 --> 00:00:04,395
♪♪ [theme]
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Hey, look at this.
It's a Polaroid.
3
00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:58,014
If you need more penicillin,
I'll get it for you.
4
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,755
All right, boys,
what's all the tumult?
5
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:01,539
The camera's been stolen!
6
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,758
They're having
a little problem
7
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,586
with the stolen goods
report of yours.
8
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,544
What, they couldn't read
my typing?
9
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:09,721
They couldn't read it
because they didn't
receive it.
10
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,071
I must have sent 'em
the carbon paper.
11
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,507
What an original mistake.
12
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,161
Little Chicago?
What's that?
13
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:15,684
Big place in field somewhere.
14
00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:17,033
Just like Macy's,
15
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,514
except everything there
stolen from Gimbels.
16
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:22,430
Hey, buddy, I'm lookin'
for a special kind
of camera.
17
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:24,736
You mean Polaroid.
You lucky.
18
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,435
This brand-new.
Come in last week.
19
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:29,524
Corporal, are you aware
this camera's been stolen?
20
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:32,004
Yeah, sure.
I just found it
and bought it.
21
00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:33,919
All right, step out
of the jeep, soldier.
22
00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:35,225
Down to my bones,
23
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:38,272
I know that boy
did not swipe the camera.
24
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:40,535
Relax.
Klinger's off the hook.
25
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,145
Oh, by the way,
when you see Klinger,
26
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,668
give him a message for me.
27
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,061
Tell him the heat is on.
28
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,629
C.I.D. is investigating
stolen goods.
29
00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:51,241
So this bad time to sell
anything in Little Chicago.
30
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:53,417
Okay,
I'll get those drinks now.
31
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:57,160
No. Not for me.
I've just gone back to work.
32
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,683
-Court-martial?
-They'll slap you
33
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,337
with a dishonorable
discharge,
34
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,426
which means
no vet benefits,
35
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,820
plus a civilian
criminal record
36
00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:06,474
doggin' you for
the rest of your life.
37
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,738
What I don't understand is,
38
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,435
even if I did it,
which I didn't,
39
00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:14,177
why are they making such
a big deal over one
lousy camera?
40
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,397
Well, they figure
a big crime ring
41
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,312
is behind
all these thefts
42
00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:19,661
and they hope
you'll lead them
43
00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:20,792
to the bigger sharks
in the pond.
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00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:22,925
Wonderful.
45
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:25,536
Son, I'm sorry to
have to tell you this.
46
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:30,062
The army says,
if you can name some names,
47
00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:32,369
they'd be willing to call
the whole thing off.
48
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,589
Colonel, the only way
I could name names
49
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,373
is if I was a crook,
which I'm not.
50
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,897
I wish I was.
Then I could rat on
my buddies and get off.
51
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:41,073
Well, don't go
and get yourself fitted
52
00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,423
for a ball and chain yet.
53
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:43,989
You've still got
your day in court.
54
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:46,209
And you've got
the truth on your side.
55
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,602
With all due respect,
sir,
56
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:48,994
at this point,
I'd rather have
57
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:50,909
an unimpeachable,
paid-off witness.
58
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,563
You got more important
things to worry about,
59
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,478
like getting yourself
a defense counsel.
60
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:58,265
My Uncle Harry's
the best whiplash man
in Toledo.
61
00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:59,875
But he's tied up
right now.
62
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,790
Could we put this off
for 10 years to life?
63
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,053
Well, don't worry about
getting a real lawyer.
64
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:06,273
In these parts,
the army only uses officers.
65
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:08,536
One for your side,
one for their side.
66
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:11,278
You can even pick your own
if you have somebody in mind.
67
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:14,411
I can't represent you.
We're both witnesses for
the prosecution.
68
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:16,239
-Didn't Colonel Potter
tell you that?
-Sure, he did,
69
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,067
but picture this.
70
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,112
If one of the state's
two star witnesses
71
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:22,245
suddenly defends me
to the hilt,
72
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,073
then the whole case
would be exposed as
73
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,988
an ugly fabrication
of sham.
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00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,946
I think that's what's known as
a conflict of interest.
75
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,819
Oh, sure, they got rules
for everything.
76
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,951
What are they paying you
to torpedo me?
77
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,431
They subpoenaed us.
78
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,347
Klinger, why are you
trusting your future
79
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,654
to the hands of a man who's
sole legal knowledge is
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00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,917
the age of consent
in all 48 states?
81
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,224
That's what makes him
the perfect choice.
82
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,964
He can talk anybody
into anything.
83
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,010
Just ask two thirds of
the nursing staff.
84
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,968
Klinger, you're missing
the point.
85
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:52,014
The court martial board
is not going to be swayed
86
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:55,147
by the carnal clichés of
a third rate lothario.
87
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,280
What you need
for you defense is
88
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,717
a man who will bring to it
an air of dignity and stature.
89
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:03,112
Yeah.
But where are we gonna get
somebody like that?
90
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,027
We're gonna get me.
91
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,811
-You?
-[laughing]
92
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:09,597
Charles Emerson Winchester,
defender of the downtrodden.
93
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,686
Charles, you do
all the trodding.
94
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,165
That's how they got down.
95
00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:15,167
Why the sudden interest
in Klinger's welfare?
96
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,387
Yeah.
You don't even like me.
97
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,824
You're always calling me
those long four-letter words.
98
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:23,785
I will defend you because
I'm the officer
most qualified to do so.
99
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:26,222
Finally!
Someone who thinks
I'm innocent.
100
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,919
I didn't say that.
101
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,139
Your guilt or innocence
doesn't concern me in the least.
102
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,923
What concerns me is winning.
103
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,316
Sounds like a lawyer to me.
104
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,622
Yeah, this is
serious business.
105
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,101
What makes you so sure
you can win?
106
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,234
Why not? After all,
what is an attorney
107
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,889
but a graduate student
who couldn't get into
medical school.
108
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,674
Gee. Somehow being defended by
a guy who hates my guts
109
00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:45,415
makes me nervous.
110
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:50,551
A good lawyer is not swayed by
disaffection for one's guts.
111
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,640
It'd be a rare
opportunity...
112
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,381
for litigious excitement.
113
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:57,949
A thrust and parry of
a verbal joust with
a worthy opponent.
114
00:04:57,993 --> 00:04:59,734
I didn't understand
a word he said.
115
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,692
-What a perfect lawyer.
-B.J.: Don't do it, Klinger.
116
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,259
Let I-Corps
assign somebody.
117
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,826
Oh, sure.
118
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:06,828
Some apathetic clock puncher
who doesn't care
119
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,830
whether he wins or loses.
120
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:10,266
Let me defend you, Klinger,
121
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,921
and I assure you,
you won't regret it.
122
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,705
It'll be the most
rational decision
you've made
123
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,054
since you renounced
women's wear.
124
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,534
Consider, Klinger,
125
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:20,320
the first syllable
of Winchester is "win."
126
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:23,366
Okay, Major, you've got
yourself a client.
127
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,499
Major,
128
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,632
tell the court,
if you would, uh, please,
129
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:31,461
what you know of
the defendant's character.
130
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,985
All right.
131
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:37,206
"Maxwell Klinger is
a rare individual.
132
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,948
"Not only is he honest
and trustworthy,
133
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:43,865
"a font of loyalty--"
[laughing]
134
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:46,215
Your Honor, would you
instruct the witness
135
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,609
to stop tittering
and answer the question?
136
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:52,177
Please answer the question,
Margaret-- Major.
137
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:55,224
I-- I'm trying to help,
but this isn't easy.
138
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,792
It-- [chuckles]
139
00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:01,143
He is also the cement
that binds our unit.
140
00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:03,450
Binds our unit.
[laughing]
141
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,148
In my rendered opinion
from the bench,
142
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,932
continued hysterics
from the witness
143
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:10,979
might tend to undermine
her credibility.
144
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:15,200
Major, you may step down
and continue all the way
to out.
145
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,159
[laughing]
146
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:24,209
I'm-- I just--
147
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:25,385
[laughing]
148
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:28,344
We don't need her.
149
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,651
And she's one of
the friendly witnesses.
150
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,130
I would like to call
to the stand
151
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:35,003
one Father Francis Mulcahy.
152
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:36,787
-Thanks, Father.
-[clears throat]
153
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,835
Father, would you tell
the court
154
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:43,794
in your own sacred words
155
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,753
your assessment
of my client's character?
156
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:46,884
I'd be delighted.
157
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,190
I think
the following anecdote
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00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,975
capsulizes
the essence of the man.
159
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,456
Please proceed,
and, uh, speak up.
160
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,546
Recently,
I found myself in need
161
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:59,201
of some new Bibles
for my Sunday School class.
162
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,377
-Ixnay, Father.
-Uh, Klinger,
163
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,683
this is no time
for modesty.
164
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:03,945
Please proceed,
Father.
165
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,381
The old ones were
all tattered.
166
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:09,385
Now, where was I going
to find 18 new Bibles,
167
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,474
and at a price
we could afford?
168
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,389
Where indeed?
169
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,523
Well, sir, I confided
my dilemma to Klinger.
170
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:19,177
And somehow,
like a miracle,
171
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,309
the next week,
172
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:23,268
18 brand-new Bibles
turned up.
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00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:25,923
I don't know how
he convinced
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00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,012
the Seoul Plaza Hotel
175
00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:30,580
to make that
generous donation.
176
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,149
Yeah.
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00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:37,195
That's a wonderful story,
Father.
178
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:39,546
But I don't think
I can base the case
179
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,374
on the stickiness
of my client's fingers.
180
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:46,161
-Sticky fingers?
-Yes.
181
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,598
You mean hot Bibles!
182
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,992
-Hey, Hawk, what kept you?
-Oh, I'm sorry.
183
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:52,602
I got wrapped up
in that symphony
184
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,299
-on Charles's tape recorder.
-Oh, yeah?
185
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,997
I got-- I completely
lost track of time.
186
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,478
Isn't that thing fantastic?
The resonance, the clarity.
187
00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,870
When was the last time
you heard
188
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,524
the "1812 Overture"
sound so lifelike?
189
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,047
Not since 1812.
190
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,832
HAWKEYE:
♪ I'm gonna get you
191
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,921
♪ On a slow boat to China
192
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:07,965
B.J.:
Hey, hey, hey, Hawk!
193
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,576
Knock off the noise,
will you?
194
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,578
HAWKEYE:
Oh, yeah? Why should--
Oh, I know.
195
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,536
You're just jealous 'cause
I'm in great voice tonight.
196
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,625
B.J.:
Oh, I'll show you
what great voice you're in.
197
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,192
I'll record it
on Charles' tape recorder
198
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,280
and make you listen to it.
199
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:19,411
B.J.:
How could he afford
200
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:20,500
such an expensive
tape recorder?
201
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,718
HAWKEYE:
Are you kidding?
202
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,372
Money means nothing
to Charles.
203
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,417
He's the only American
who landed in Incheon
204
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:26,636
with Traveler's Checks.
205
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,551
I'll bet you Charles paid
206
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,988
more than 200
for that tape recorder,
207
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,686
and I'm talkin'
American dollars.
208
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:35,558
Oh, listen, listen.
I was in Seoul.
209
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,168
I saw--
I saw a used one--
210
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:41,695
Wait. I'm sorry--
For 250. 250.
211
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,435
I'm tellin' you--
212
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,307
I'm telling you,
this business is
giving me a headache.
213
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,352
I think we've made
an important
medical discovery.
214
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,528
If you act drunk
long enough,
215
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,007
you get a
real hangover.
216
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:53,141
I need a wet compress
and a dry martini.
217
00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:55,056
Later.
We got hooks to bait.
218
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,972
I am so glad he keeps
his key in here now.
219
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,582
I hated going through
his socks.
220
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:02,324
[yawning]
221
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,631
Oh, I hope this guy
makes his move soon.
222
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,023
He's made it.
223
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:08,025
-What?
-The tape recorder's gone.
224
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,767
Oh, terrific!
We're off baiting the hook,
225
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,203
and the fish comes in here
and picks the lock.
226
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,728
-♪♪ [whistling]
-Evening, Charles.
227
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,294
-Hi, Charles.
-Gentlemen.
228
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:17,731
Hunnicutt,
get off my footlocker.
229
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,254
So how are you doin'?
230
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,651
Tell him.
231
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,522
You tell him.
You take a punch better.
232
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,219
Okay. Charles,
there's something
233
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:29,917
very important
I have to tell you.
234
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,701
Yes, Hunnicutt?
235
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,312
But no one can tell it
quite the way Hawkeye can.
236
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,184
Oh.
237
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:41,624
-Charles
-Yes. Pierce.
238
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:45,541
[stammering]
Somebody came--
239
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,239
Um, I think some--
No, but--
240
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:49,806
Somebody took
your tape recorder.
241
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,634
What are you babbling about?
242
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,418
-Your tape recorder.
-It's not in your footlocker.
243
00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:55,899
It isn't?
244
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:58,075
How do you know that?
245
00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:00,208
Uh, uh...
246
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,644
Well, I'm sitting on it,
and I can tell.
247
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:02,950
[chuckles]
248
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,735
Hunnicutt, you do
indeed possess hindsight.
249
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:08,520
The tape recorder is not
in the footlocker.
250
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:09,826
No.
251
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:12,829
It is with Klinger.
252
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,266
I want him to commit
his testimony to memory.
253
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,007
-Oh. Oh.
-Oh.
254
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:19,923
When are you gonna get
your tape recorder back
255
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,098
under lock and key
256
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,665
where nobody can get
at it?
257
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,233
-Tomorrow.
-Ah! Good.
258
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:30,368
Why this sudden interest
in my tape recorder?
259
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,892
Charles,
haven't you heard?
260
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,763
The place is crawling
with thieves.
261
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,419
These thieves don't crawl
very fast.
262
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,987
I don't understand it.
Three days and no takers.
263
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,641
-So where's Klinger?
-I don't know.
264
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,077
You don't think
he went AWOL, do you?
265
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,470
Nah. How far can a man run
on rubber legs?
266
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,907
Why would he want
to run away?
267
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,691
The man has all the confidence
in the world in me.
268
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:51,346
Please don't take me, sirs!
I don't wanna go!
269
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,391
Klinger, I thought
you had more smarts.
270
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:56,656
Under the beds in post-op
is the first place we had
to look.
271
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,788
There you are,
my cowering little criminal.
272
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:01,922
Major, I've given this
an awful lot of thought.
273
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,098
I've decided to stand up
like a man
274
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,274
at the court-martial
and beg for postponement.
275
00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:07,710
Perish the thought!
276
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,581
-Postponements are for losers.
-Perfect.
277
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,454
Come on, Max. How big a case
can they have against you
278
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,325
when their star witnesses are
two of your closest friends?
279
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,936
After I get finished
testifying for you,
280
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:17,764
they're gonna award you
a Good Conduct Medal.
281
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:20,418
On top of that,
Winchester's got
my deposition,
282
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,769
and I put in a couple
of hundred good words
for you.
283
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,248
That's great, sir,
but I still wish
284
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,163
you could be there
in distinguished person.
285
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,252
Sorry, son, but some
of us have to stay behind
286
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,428
in case we have to put
out the welcome stretcher.
287
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,301
Good luck, Klinger.
You are--
288
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:36,304
You are the cement
that binds our unit together.
289
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:37,871
Now she gets it right.
290
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:40,743
Good-bye, Klinger.
My prayers are with you.
291
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,179
I appreciate that,
Father,
292
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:44,225
especially after
the 18 Bibles.
293
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,922
Oh, forget about that, son.
294
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,489
Your heart was
in the right place,
295
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,447
even if your hands weren't.
296
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,275
You know, with this kind
of support,
297
00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:53,277
maybe I just might beat
this rap.
298
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:56,454
To a veritable pulp, Max.
I shall personally see to it.
299
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:57,760
Then what are we
waiting for?
300
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,109
Let's get this show
on the road!
301
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,938
Good luck, Klinger.
302
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,461
God speed.
303
00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:06,813
[all cheering]
304
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:12,688
MAN: Ten-hut!
305
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,037
At ease.
Take your seats.
306
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:27,398
Just look at him,
my worthy teenage opponent.
307
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:30,532
Hmm. Where is
the challenge?
308
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,490
I'm surprised he doesn't
have training wheels
309
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,622
for his briefcase.
310
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:36,712
[chuckles]
311
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,670
You're as good
as cleared, Max.
312
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,107
I could whip him
with one deposition
313
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,413
-tied behind my back.
-[gavel bangs]
314
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,851
This special court-martial of
the United States Army versus
315
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,984
uh, Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger
is now in session.
316
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:52,554
The defendant is charged
with one count grand theft.
317
00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:56,645
We will now entertain
opening statements by counsel.
318
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:59,691
Thank you, Mr. President.
319
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,694
[clears throat]
320
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:06,829
Members of the court,
my worthy opponent.
321
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:11,660
I shall be brief.
322
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:15,664
I intend to prove
to this august tribunal
323
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:18,275
that my client
is totally innocent
324
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,669
of the malicious
and unfounded charges
325
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,758
which have been brought
against him.
326
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,152
And though
my learned colleague
327
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:26,893
with his months
of experience
328
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,459
undoubtedly believes
otherwise,
329
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:31,419
I shall hold
the army accountable
330
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:34,291
for the vindictive manner
in which it is persecuting
331
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:37,642
and prosecuting
this innocent man!
332
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:39,731
Psst. Over here, sir.
333
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,606
I mean, of course,
334
00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:47,739
this innocent man.
Sorry.
335
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,393
That's interestingly stated,
336
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,482
Major, uh, Winchester,
337
00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:52,875
but you're out of order.
338
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:56,096
Out of order?
I don't understand.
339
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,315
It's not your turn.
340
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,361
The prosecution speaks first.
341
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:03,233
Of course he does.
342
00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:11,763
Boy, these guys
are real sticklers.
343
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:12,852
Yeah.
344
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:17,726
Colonel, I finally found
that rectal thermometer invoice.
345
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,771
Klinger had it filed under
"Business Equipment."
346
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,861
-Thank you, Major.
-In a couple of days,
347
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,993
I'll have this cockeyed
system all straightened out.
348
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:25,865
Don't uncockeye
that system, Major.
349
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,692
Otherwise,
when Klinger gets back,
350
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,651
he won't know
how to misplace
the stuff properly
351
00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:30,913
so he can find it later.
352
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,262
What if he doesn't
come back, sir?
353
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,525
Knock off that kind
of talk, Major Houlihan.
354
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:35,918
I'm sorry, Colonel.
355
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,920
We've got to keep positive
thoughts here.
356
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,879
Now, how you doin', Padre?
357
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:42,272
Actually, I'm quite enjoying
the job, Colonel...
358
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,971
uh, temporary,
though it may be.
359
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,755
I only wish I had
a machine like this
360
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,713
for my own personal use.
361
00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:50,411
Well, talk to Klinger
when he gets back.
362
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,717
Probably plenty more where
he hustled this one from.
363
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,937
Damn. I wish I could
be there in person
364
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,766
to vouch for his character.
365
00:14:57,809 --> 00:15:00,551
Now then, Captain Pierce,
this shouldn't take long.
366
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:01,639
For the record,
367
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:02,945
I have your statement
declaring
368
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,120
that the camera
which was found
369
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,513
in the defendant's
possession
370
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,384
was the same camera
that you reported stolen.
371
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:10,300
-Is this your signature?
-Rather mundane opening ploy.
372
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,867
Uh, yes, but when
I signed that, I didn't--
373
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,087
Thank you, Captain.
You've answered the question.
374
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,089
And does this statement
not also acknowledge
375
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:18,482
that Corporal Klinger failed
to file a stolen goods report
376
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:20,920
when asked to do so
by his commanding officer?
377
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,704
Yes, but he filed it
as soon as we found out--
378
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:24,401
As soon as you
and Captain Hunnicutt
379
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:25,968
discovered
his so-called oversight
380
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,405
-and left him no choice.
-Objection!
381
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:31,104
The prosecution is clearly
trying to lead the witness.
382
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:34,585
Mr. President,
although the prosecution
has subpoenaed him,
383
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,326
Captain Pierce is a friend
of the defendant.
384
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,850
He has continually expressed
a reluctance
385
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,548
to testify against him.
386
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,202
Clearly he is
a hostile witness.
387
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,595
And pursuant to
the Uniform Code
of Military Justice,
388
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,162
I believe that it is my right
389
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:49,383
to employ a greater latitude
in questioning him.
390
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,428
Captain Rollins, you have
certainly done your homework.
391
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,082
How appropriate
for a schoolboy.
392
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,910
Objection overruled.
393
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,695
-Proceed, Captain Rollins.
-Say, just a--
394
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,307
-Major, sit down!
-Right.
395
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,224
Now then, Captain Pierce,
396
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:07,357
where were you when
the camera was stolen?
397
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:08,793
I was in surgery in the O.R.,
398
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,708
and so, might I add,
was Corporal Kling--
399
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:13,233
Confine your answers
to the questions,
Captain, please.
400
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:15,061
Now then,
where was Corporal Klinger?
401
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:20,196
As I was about to say,
Corporal Klinger was
in the O.R.,
402
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,850
helping out,
as he always does.
403
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,374
-I see. Helping out.
-Yes.
404
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:27,029
Would that include such things
as leaving the O.R.
405
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,117
to go for penicillin?
406
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,686
Well, yes, but, uh--
407
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:34,036
but that was, uh,
if I may so,
408
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,039
a compassionate
and heroic function.
409
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,867
And just how long
did he take to perform
410
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,782
this compassionate
and heroic function?
411
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:43,132
Well, I don't know.
I was-- I was busy,
uh, with a patient.
412
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:46,092
I wasn't watching the clock,
but it certainly wasn't long.
413
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,268
Well, long enough for Klinger
to get to your tent
414
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:52,228
take the camera,
stash it away and return?
415
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,622
-No, not as long as that.
-How do you know that?
416
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,754
Did you not just tell
this court
417
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:57,929
that you were busy
with a patient
418
00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,714
and not watching
the clock?
419
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,716
Well, those were my words,
but that's not what I said.
420
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,631
-I mean, that's--
-In short, Captain Pierce,
421
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:04,893
you don't know how long
422
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:05,937
Corporal Klinger was
out of the O.R.
423
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,330
Objection!
424
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,245
The question is irrelevant
and immaterial
425
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,205
and I'm sure
a few other things.
426
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:15,121
I fail to see how
this damning testimony
427
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,993
establishes my client's
guilt or innocence.
428
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,344
Well, you're the only one,
Major. Overruled.
429
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:24,304
Captain, answer the question.
I might remind you that
you're still under oath.
430
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:26,262
I don't know how long
Klinger was gone.
431
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,482
-But the supply room is very--
-Thank you.
432
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:31,789
Your witness, Major.
I have no further questions.
433
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:34,749
I should say not.
[clears throat]
434
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:45,847
In your opinion,
Captain Pierce,
435
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,196
would Klinger take
your camera?
436
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,502
-No!
-Objection.
437
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:49,546
Sustained.
438
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,771
Colonel,
you have to eat.
439
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:57,902
Depriving yourself
of food
440
00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,643
isn't gonna help
Klinger.
441
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,820
Next, Major, you're gonna
tell me to make all gone.
442
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,344
Everyone shows
their anxiety
443
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,780
in different ways,
Colonel,
444
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,174
but to shun the
necessities of life--
445
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,828
It's not the anxiety,
it's the pimento loaf.
446
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:13,657
-They're back!
-Well, what happened?
447
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:15,355
Klinger's only hope
is to get a recess
448
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,052
long enough to go
to law school.
449
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,228
My deposition ought to help.
Did they get to it yet?
450
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,100
They did, and it was
very nice, Colonel.
451
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:22,666
But the prosecuting attorney
also had depositions
452
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,668
from three "l" Corps
supply clerks,
453
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:25,843
the accounts payable
department
454
00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:27,149
at a Tokyo dress
manufacturer--
455
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,498
Please, enough.
456
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,109
And I wasn't much help either.
457
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,980
MAN [on P.A.]:
Attention, all personnel!
458
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,851
In honor of the return
of Captains Pierce and
Hunnicutt,
459
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:36,463
we're having a big
Meet the Wounded party
in O.R.
460
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:39,161
Great.
Two blood baths in one day.
461
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,165
How then do you explain
that when the arresting M.P.s
462
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,950
returned with you
to that exact spot
not 30 minutes later
463
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:49,171
there was no trace
of this Little Chicago?
464
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:52,174
Well, they must have
packed up and left.
465
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,307
Oh, come on now, Corporal,
466
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:57,527
isn't this obviously a case
of res ipsa loquitur?
467
00:18:57,571 --> 00:19:00,965
-Racial Pepsi Cola?
-I must object
468
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,837
strenuously!
469
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,101
-On what grounds?
-Because...
470
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,235
Uh, I'll have it in a minute.
471
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,062
[papers rustling]
472
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,847
Major, we don't have all day.
What is your objection?
473
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,762
Just a minute.
Just a minute.
474
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,897
[speaking Latin]
475
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,426
Uh, forgive my ignorance,
Mr. President,
476
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:28,819
but that's a term
I'm not familiar with.
477
00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:30,995
Oh, don't know it. Hmm.
478
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:33,084
Well, I am.
479
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,783
Major, I want you
to explain to this court
480
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,915
exactly what that means.
481
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,745
Huh.
482
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,312
[nervous chuckle]
483
00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:44,922
Aspirin, three times a day.
484
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:45,923
[chuckles]
485
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:51,755
POTTER:
Easy on the suction
486
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,322
or we'll turn him
inside out.
487
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,281
MARGARET:
Look at this shrapnel!
488
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:56,673
MULCAHY:
Yes, he's sure got
489
00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:59,067
his minimum daily
requirement of iron.
490
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:02,462
POTTER: Forceps.
Damn it, hurry up!
491
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,942
MARGARET:
This boy's been here before,
hasn't he, Doctor?
492
00:20:04,986 --> 00:20:06,509
POTTER: Unfortunately,
too many of 'em
493
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,163
come back for seconds.
494
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,643
MULCAHY:
Here are those towels
495
00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:10,687
you asked for,
Major Houlihan.
496
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,080
MARGARET:
Thanks, Father.
497
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:13,777
Goldman, get these
towels distributed.
498
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,866
The point is, gentlemen,
499
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,956
that my client
is totally innocent
500
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,263
of all the charges
against him.
501
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:25,311
Of that there can be
no question.
502
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:27,269
But if you,
503
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,706
in your wisdom,
504
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:33,275
do not agree...
505
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:35,669
think of me.
506
00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:37,453
My expenditure
of time and effort
507
00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,368
has been staggering!
508
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,327
And what of my credibility?
509
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:43,459
Three generations
of Winchesters
510
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:44,721
have never lost an argument
511
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:47,289
much less a trial.
512
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:51,250
If you send this man
to the stockade,
513
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:53,687
it will be an injustice,
514
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,906
albeit a minor one.
515
00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:58,082
But the damage
to my reputation
516
00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:03,349
will be a tragedy
of epic proportions.
517
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:05,176
With that--
[clears throat]
518
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:09,877
I leave you to your
collective consciences
519
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,010
to deliberate my fate.
520
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,057
And his.
521
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:19,147
CHARLES:
The defense rests.
522
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:20,975
Please, sir.
523
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:24,152
Will you handle my appeal?
524
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:29,375
POTTER:
Retractor, Margaret.
525
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,202
Any more of these fellows
come back,
526
00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:34,336
and we'll have to start
fitting 'em with zippers.
527
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:37,948
See to that, Margaret,
I've got a bleeder.
528
00:21:37,992 --> 00:21:39,689
MARGARET: Father,
I could use you again.
529
00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:42,736
MULCAHY: Oh, yes, Major.
Be right there.
530
00:21:42,779 --> 00:21:44,825
MARGARET: Kellye, we're gonna
need more blood in here.
531
00:21:44,868 --> 00:21:46,696
And then give
Dr. Pierce a hand.
532
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,180
-[camera shutter clicks]
-Hey, what are you doin'?
533
00:21:52,223 --> 00:21:53,703
-B.J.: Beautiful!
-HAWKEYE: Keep snarling!
534
00:21:53,747 --> 00:21:55,923
You've got a real future
in pictures.
535
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:58,229
"And after careful deliberation,
536
00:21:58,273 --> 00:22:00,754
"we the members of
the special court-martial
537
00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:03,147
find you, the accused,
538
00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:04,758
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger"--
539
00:22:04,801 --> 00:22:06,890
It's okay, Sergeant.
We're on our side.
540
00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:08,370
Sorry to interrupt,
Colonel Drake,
541
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:09,371
but we'd be sorrier
if we didn't.
542
00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:10,851
What is going on here?
543
00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:12,940
Only a little ex post facto,
habeas corpus
544
00:22:12,983 --> 00:22:15,246
flagrante delicto,
delightful and de-lovely.
545
00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:16,552
Captain,
you are interrupting
546
00:22:16,596 --> 00:22:18,467
a United States Army
court-martial!
547
00:22:18,511 --> 00:22:20,164
And you better have
a good explanation!
548
00:22:20,208 --> 00:22:21,818
We have a terrific
explanation.
549
00:22:21,862 --> 00:22:23,429
What are you doing?
Have you no regard
550
00:22:23,472 --> 00:22:25,169
for the sanctity
of these proceedings?
551
00:22:25,213 --> 00:22:27,737
I'm proceeding right
to the stockade.
Let 'em talk!
552
00:22:27,781 --> 00:22:31,306
-You can't do that.
-Yes, I can. You're fired.
553
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,439
-Will you get to the point?
-Talk is cheap.
554
00:22:33,482 --> 00:22:36,180
Especially when one picture
is worth a thousand words.
555
00:22:36,224 --> 00:22:38,792
The missing piece of
the puzzle was provided
by Captain Rollins
556
00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:41,142
during his inspired
third degree.
557
00:22:41,185 --> 00:22:43,971
You see, he pointed out
that Klinger wasn't in the O.R.
when the camera was stolen.
558
00:22:44,014 --> 00:22:46,495
And we realized that all
the thefts took place
when we were in surgery.
559
00:22:46,539 --> 00:22:49,629
So when we got back to camp,
we staged a phony O.R.
560
00:22:49,672 --> 00:22:51,979
Light-fingered Louie here
thought everyone was
in surgery.
561
00:22:52,022 --> 00:22:55,025
Captain Pierce and I put
Major Winchester's tape recorder
on display.
562
00:22:55,069 --> 00:22:56,984
-You what?
-B.J.: While we lurked
in the shadows,
563
00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:59,595
our model thief came by
to have his picture taken.
564
00:22:59,639 --> 00:23:00,988
I think he looks better
with the cuffs on,
565
00:23:01,031 --> 00:23:03,164
-Don't you?
-Corporal...
566
00:23:03,207 --> 00:23:05,166
I was about
to find you guilty.
567
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,647
But in the light
of this new evidence,
568
00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:10,476
I think that your friends here
have helped us avert
569
00:23:10,519 --> 00:23:12,173
a serious miscarriage
of justice.
570
00:23:12,216 --> 00:23:13,914
-Case is dismissed.
-[gavel bangs]
571
00:23:13,957 --> 00:23:16,699
-[chuckles]
-I beat the rap!
572
00:23:16,743 --> 00:23:19,223
There you are, Max.
Told you I'd get you off.
573
00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:26,535
Guys, I can't just take
your camera.
574
00:23:26,579 --> 00:23:28,494
-You paid for it.
-And we think it's appropriate
575
00:23:28,537 --> 00:23:29,886
that the new owner takes
the picture.
576
00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:31,410
-ALL: Yeah!
-Come on.
577
00:23:31,453 --> 00:23:33,760
All right. All right.
All right, everybody.
578
00:23:33,803 --> 00:23:36,153
Now get in there and scrunch
together a little more.
579
00:23:36,197 --> 00:23:37,851
Somebody get my oils.
580
00:23:37,894 --> 00:23:40,331
I can paint this cluster
with less fuss.
581
00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:44,161
Sorry to interrupt you,
folks,
582
00:23:44,205 --> 00:23:45,815
but do you know
where I can find
583
00:23:45,859 --> 00:23:48,252
a Father Francis Mulcahy?
584
00:23:48,296 --> 00:23:50,167
Uh, I'm Father Mulcahy.
585
00:23:50,211 --> 00:23:51,560
Yes, Father, uh,
586
00:23:51,604 --> 00:23:53,867
I'd like to ask you
a few questions.
587
00:23:53,910 --> 00:23:56,522
It's about
some stolen Bibles.
588
00:23:56,565 --> 00:24:00,047
-Eighteen to be exact.
-Why, uh--
589
00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:02,528
Don't say another word,
Father.
590
00:24:02,571 --> 00:24:05,269
Let your counselor
handle this.
591
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:06,532
♪♪
592
00:24:19,196 --> 00:24:20,894
♪♪ [theme]
44639
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