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00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:03,264
♪♪ [theme]
2
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:58,232
WOMEN: ♪ ...are comin',
their sails are in sight ♪
3
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:02,236
♪ Shrimp boats are a-comin',
there's dancin' tonight ♪
4
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,238
♪ Why don't you hurry,
hurry, hurry home ♪
5
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:07,110
♪ Why don't you hurry,
hurry, hurry home ♪
6
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:11,767
♪ Shrimp boats are a-comin',
there's dancin' tonight ♪
7
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,161
Marina, you gotta have
somebody look at that.
8
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,076
I'm fine, Brandy.
The aspirins are helping.
9
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:18,339
Me, I was drafted
in the last war.
10
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,732
They assigned me
to the enemy.
11
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:24,823
-WOMEN [whooping]: Hey! Whoo!
-MEN: Hey!
12
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:29,480
Hey! Whoo! All right!
13
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,228
DRIVER:
Mortars! Get down!
14
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,449
[mortar explodes]
15
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:46,802
-Are you hit?
-No. I'm okay.
16
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,065
It's her stomach.
She's been having pains.
17
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,590
-Let's check it out.
-[yelping] Ow.
18
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:57,117
[chatter]
19
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,075
Battalion Aid asked me
to give these to you.
20
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,990
-What are they?
-The casualty reports.
21
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,992
Never thought I'd wind up
as a carrier pigeon.
22
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,823
Bad belly wound. Looks
like he stopped their
MiG with his stomach.
23
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,259
You'd better set up
some plasma.
24
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:14,264
Well, well. Since when did they
put a stewardess on this run?
25
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:17,180
She's with the U.S.O. Medic
thinks it's her appendix.
26
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,269
Right down my alley.
I wrote the book
on the appendix.
27
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,445
I even wrote the appendix,
but they took that out.
28
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,752
Oh, it's okay. I'm fine.
29
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,884
-Oh! Oh!
-Ah ha ha!
30
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,670
You showbiz folks, always
with the funny walks.
31
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,454
Direct me
to the nearest threshold.
32
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:33,762
How long have you
had these pains?
33
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,633
Just for a few days.
34
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,809
It wasn't too bad at first,
but now it hurts like heck.
35
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,898
You can say "hell" here.
This is Korea.
36
00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,204
If you can't
say "hell" in hell,
37
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:43,119
where in hell can you say it?
38
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,729
Now, before I take out
your appendix,
39
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:46,427
there's one question
I always like to ask.
40
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,429
Have you had
your appendix out before?
41
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:50,605
Uh-uh. Will there be
a bad scar?
42
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,956
Are you kidding?
You're talking to Al Capone's
personal plastic surgeon.
43
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,479
CHARLES: I must say, Pierce,
44
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,220
I certainly do envy
your surgical assignment.
45
00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:00,484
How I'd love to sink
my scalpel once again
46
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:01,703
into a simple appendix.
47
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,487
It's such a useless
48
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:05,402
yet highly lucrative
little organ.
49
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:07,099
Yeah, well, this
useless little organ
50
00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,319
should've been registered
as a concealed weapon.
51
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:12,192
Another couple of hours,
and it could've ruptured.
52
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:14,977
You wanna snip that,
and then let's close.
53
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,414
I'm gonna do
a running subcuticular.
54
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,590
I promised her the scar
wouldn't be too noticeable.
55
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:22,767
Professional reasons.
She's with the U.S.O.
56
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,682
Margaret, I need another hand
with some retraction here.
57
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:25,683
Pam?
58
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,121
-How's he doin'?
-Not too well.
59
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:31,123
It's gonna be touch-and-go.
60
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,169
Miss Ryan, I believe
you had a reservation
61
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,215
for a single with a view
of the other singles.
62
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,955
Hey, it's a gal.
63
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,697
I've seen her before.
She's a singer with U.S.O.
64
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:42,526
I caught her act at Kimpo.
Hey, Miss. Saw your show.
65
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,006
You're terrific.
66
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,182
Please, this is no time
to take a bow.
67
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,792
Frank, get us a screen
over here, will you?
68
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,446
Could she
do a song later?
69
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:50,795
Nah. 'Fraid not.
70
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:52,754
She opened and closed
in one night.
71
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:55,800
Just some light roadwork,
and stay off the heavy bag.
72
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,062
I'll see you
in the morning.
73
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,499
Can you stay for a while?
74
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,240
No. You'd better
get some rest.
75
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,067
Besides, I have to get
over to the mess tent.
76
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:03,939
I'm working my way through
busboy school as a doctor.
77
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,600
If he improves, he's gonna
be a very sick young man.
78
00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:14,515
Yeah. It wouldn't hurt
79
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,168
to get Father Mulcahy to put
in a little overtime, huh?
80
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:17,561
B.J.:
Right.
81
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,307
That must be
Marina's troupe.
82
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,831
Hello. Anybody home?
83
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,398
Unless I'm mistaken,
84
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:30,444
that's Brandy Doyle,
the stripper.
85
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:31,967
How would you know?
86
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,143
Well, I saw her picture
in Lifemagazine.
87
00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:35,753
Uh, fully clothed.
88
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,407
Oh, it can't be her.
89
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,801
The U.S.O. wouldn't send
a burlesque queen to Korea.
90
00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,106
-Hello.
-Hello.
91
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,804
Oh, hello, Father.
92
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:43,979
-Hiya, honey.
-Hi.
93
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:45,110
I'm Brandy Doyle.
94
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:48,592
Oh, well,
how nice to meet you.
95
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,551
-Hi. I'm Sarah Miller.
-Hello.
96
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:51,987
And I'm Ellie Carlyle.
97
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,597
We were told
that Marina Ryan is here.
98
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,556
She sure is, and she's
doing real fine.
99
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:56,861
Oh, glad to hear it.
100
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,472
Say, nice place
you got here,
101
00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,778
but once a week, you gotta
get someone in to dust.
102
00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:04,173
You can do it, Rev.
You're a man of the cloth.
103
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,740
You're very jocular.
104
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:08,743
This is our emcee--
Fast Freddie Nichols.
105
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,222
Say,
as long as you're here,
106
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:11,659
maybe you could do a show
for our wounded?
107
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:13,182
Oh, as spokesman
for the group,
108
00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:15,706
we'd love to, but our
schedule is very tight.
109
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,708
In fact, we're all drunk.
Ha ha ha!
110
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,144
Now, where's Marina?
111
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,494
Oh, this way. Come on.
I'll take you.
112
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,147
-Come along.
-Uh, Father,
113
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,846
may I have a word
with you in private?
114
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:28,589
Of course. Of course.
This way.
115
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:33,594
Hey! Hiya, guys!
Yep. You are not dreaming.
116
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,988
It is me in the flesh,
so to speak.
117
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,384
-Who is that?
-I don't know.
118
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:42,994
Great to be here in Korea,
119
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,866
-the country with a Seoul.
-[groaning]
120
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,476
ELLIE:
How are you feeling?
121
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,392
Oh, much better. I had
to have an appendectomy.
122
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,394
I had trouble
with my appendix once,
123
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:52,830
but I couldn't
afford the operation,
124
00:05:52,874 --> 00:05:54,615
so I had the doctor
touch up the X-ray.
125
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,704
Hey, these cookies are dirty.
Listen to this.
126
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,880
"Confucius say man
who chase woman in dark
127
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,055
often end up with"--
128
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,839
Ha ha ha! That's lovely.
129
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,624
-I got one about
a traveling salesman.
-Please. Fellas.
130
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,930
There are women present.
131
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,803
Speak up so we can hear ya.
132
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,413
-[laughter]
-That's the way.
133
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,023
What's all the laughing?
134
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:15,026
Oh, Doc, these are my U.S.O.
friends: Eleanor and Brandy.
135
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,376
Hi, Eleanor.
136
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:17,507
This is the wonderful man
who saved my life.
137
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,988
Oh, I just cut
along the dotted line.
138
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,424
MARINA: Fast Freddie,
meet Captain Pierce.
139
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,252
-Captain Pierce.
-Hawkeye.
140
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,427
Suture self, doc.
141
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,428
Ha ha!
142
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,649
[laughing]
143
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,520
Oh, I don't believe
we've met.
144
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,566
Uh, Major Charles
Winchester. Hiya.
145
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:34,176
Winchester, huh?
146
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:36,483
You must be the big gun
around here. [chuckles]
147
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,963
I rarely get to meet
a man of your caliber.
148
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:41,401
Marina?
149
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:42,750
Marina?
150
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,665
Sarah, hi.
151
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,188
I want you to meet Dr. Pierce.
152
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:47,972
-This is Sarah Miller.
-Hi. How are you?
153
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,584
Nice to meet you.
Thanks for taking such
good care of Marina.
154
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,237
Well, I'll tell you
how you can pay me back.
155
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:54,196
We can turn post-op
into a barn
156
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,111
so you can turn it
into a theater
and put on a show for us.
157
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:58,287
[all cheering]
158
00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,723
You can stay
with us for the night
and leave in the morning.
159
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,551
-No, they can't.
-Why?
160
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,640
We've gotta be on the road
to the 121st evac hospital.
161
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,207
It's not that far,
and the roads are good.
162
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,687
They haven't gotten around
to potholing them yet.
163
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,166
I'm sorry. We just have time
164
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,690
to grab a bite and move on.
165
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,518
I'll have the mess tent
prepare some food for you.
166
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:12,693
SARAH: Thanks.
167
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,303
Just make sure
it's not chicken.
168
00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:16,044
You know how the last base
killed their chickens?
169
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,916
They fed 'em
the French toast.
170
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,875
Hey, these guys
know comedy.
171
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,529
Freddie, they love you.
172
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,313
Why don't we stay
and do the show?
173
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:25,662
Oh, I don't know.
174
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,403
-Oh, come on.
-ALL: Come on, Freddie.
175
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,883
You wanna talk
about army food?
176
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,015
Those chickens
were classified 4-F:
177
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:33,148
fowl, fowl, fowl, fowl.
178
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:38,283
-Oh, we'll do a show.
-[cheering]
179
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:40,460
[laughing]
180
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,288
Don't tell me you think
that guy is funny?
181
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:45,769
He's the worst comedian
I ever heard in my life.
182
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:48,511
Then why are you laughing?
183
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:49,773
I don't know.
184
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,345
I don't believe it.
185
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:01,524
Hey, what do two drunks
do when they meet?
186
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:02,873
BOTH: They shake!
187
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,572
[burbling]
188
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,443
It is you!
Fast Freddie Nichols,
189
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,532
the funniest man ever
to set foot on his ankles!
190
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,536
Oh, he also does
cerebral humor.
191
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,060
No. For cerebral humor,
he walks on his head.
192
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,236
I'm Corporal Max Klinger.
You won't believe this,
193
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,717
but once, I drove six hours
to catch your act.
194
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,240
And your nose
made it in five.
195
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,546
[laughing]
196
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:26,636
Nose made it in five!
Is the man a genius?
197
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,551
He finds one insignificant
little trait
198
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,379
and instantly
turns it into comedy.
199
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,250
Yes, ma'am, I'm prouder
than a peacock
200
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:34,383
to have a star
of your magnitude
201
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:36,254
right here in our midst.
202
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:38,213
Well, aren't you
the little charmer?
203
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,257
Ha ha ha!
204
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:40,694
Many's the time
205
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:43,087
you've beguiled this
wide-eyed young doughboy
206
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,568
back in K.C. in the old
Gaiety Theater.
207
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,570
You caught my act?
208
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,877
Heck, one time
I caught your garter.
209
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,271
To this day,
every time I watch
a C-42 revvin' up,
210
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:55,752
I think about how you used
to spin those tassels.
211
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:58,494
Well, there's more
than one way to use
a runway, Colonel.
212
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,453
Wonderful news, everybody.
213
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,890
We've cleared out
a space in post-op
214
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,108
so you can
set up for your show.
215
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:05,457
HAWKEYE: Terrific!
216
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,590
We got a bunkhouse
for these gypsies?
217
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,287
We've prepared
the VIP tent.
218
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,202
Sarah and Eleanor, we've
put your things in there.
219
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,074
Well, that takes care
of the young 'uns.
220
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:15,903
Now, Brandy, why don't you
and Margaret buddy up?
221
00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:16,904
Oh.
222
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,734
Yes. That would be nice.
223
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,303
Good evening,
ladies and germs.
224
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:26,783
[laughter]
225
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:29,003
I planned to have you
laying in the aisles,
226
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,439
but I see someone
beat me to it.
227
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:33,660
I'd like to thank
Colonel Potter
228
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,139
for this wonderful reception.
229
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:36,532
[soldiers cheering]
230
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,794
Even though we didn't
get married.
231
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,580
But seriously, folks,
232
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,451
Colonel Potter is really,
really a great guy.
233
00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:43,670
A military genius.
234
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:44,975
First thing he said to me
235
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,847
was "Gotta get those Krauts."
236
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,718
It's pretty noisy
in here.
237
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:50,154
Do you think we should
move Nowicki?
238
00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:52,635
No. Leave him alone.
Might do him some good.
239
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:53,897
So I bit him.
240
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:54,985
On the other hand,
241
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,857
But enough of my bits.
242
00:09:56,900 --> 00:10:00,643
Here's someone who you could
really sink your teeth into.
243
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,559
A hell of a girl,
Miss Brandy Doyle!
244
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,865
[cheering]
245
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,997
♪♪ [accordion]
246
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:17,355
♪ Cuddle, cuddle up
a little closer ♪
247
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:21,011
♪ Love-lovey mine
248
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,883
♪ Cuddle, cuddle up
249
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,841
♪ And be my little ♪
250
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:28,540
♪ Clinging vine
251
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:32,240
♪ Like to see your
cheeks so rosy ♪
252
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:36,244
♪ Like to make you
comfy-cozy ♪
253
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:40,465
♪ 'Cause I love
from head to toesie ♪
254
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,467
♪ Love-lovey mine
255
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:45,514
It hurts when I do this.
It hurts when I do this.
256
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:46,689
SOLDIER:
What'd you say?
257
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,430
Shh. I'm rehearsing.
258
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:51,215
♪ Love-lovey mine
259
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:53,304
It hurts when I do this.
260
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,745
♪ Clinging vine
261
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:03,053
[whooping, whistling]
262
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:11,322
♪ 'Cause I love
from head to toesie ♪
263
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:15,326
♪ Love-lovey mine ♪
264
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,982
♪Like to see
your cheeks so rosy ♪
265
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:22,986
♪ Like to make you
comfy-cozy ♪
266
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:26,686
♪'Cause I love
from hea to toesie ♪
267
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:28,426
♪ Love ♪
268
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:31,778
♪ Love-lovey mine
269
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:32,822
[whistling]
270
00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:41,222
And now here is something
for all you music buffs.
271
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,137
And I oughta know
272
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,313
because many a times I've
worked to music in the buff.
273
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:50,927
Miss Ellie Carlyle
and her squeezable Steinway!
274
00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,886
[cheering, whooping]
275
00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:58,195
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
276
00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,720
I would like to dedicate
this next tune
277
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,897
to a really swell guy
with a head to match.
278
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,551
Thank you very much.
279
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,815
♪♪ ["Lady Of Spain"]
280
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,654
I'll always be grateful
to you for saving my life.
281
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:25,353
Oh, it's nothing.
The only tricky part
282
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:28,356
was remembering if the appendix
was on the right or the left.
283
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:31,011
[laughs] Oh, Oh, Please.
It hurts when I laugh.
284
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,577
Then take two
Fast Freddie jokes.
285
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:33,883
You'll feel better
in no time.
286
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,497
[laughter]
287
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:41,673
[German accent] Here we are
at the doctor place!
288
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,501
The horse-pistol.
289
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:45,982
First I need my nurse.
290
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,202
Nurse! Where's the nurse?
291
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,725
[whooping]
292
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:54,599
Is there something
I can do for you, doctor?
293
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:58,865
Oh, ja.I'll talk
about that later
in your pup tent.
294
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,910
But first, bring me
the talcum powder.
295
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,085
Where's
the talcum power?
296
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:03,913
Yes, doctor.
Walk this way.
297
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,306
If I could walk that way,
298
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,655
I wouldn't need
the talcum powder.
299
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,354
I need a patient.
Where's the patient?
300
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:12,182
Oh, sir?
301
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:15,011
Oh, here you are.
You look like a heel.
302
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:18,188
Dr. Kinderspiel
will see you now.
303
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,147
[cheering]
304
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:29,765
Now, young man,
what seems to be
the probl-bl-blem?
305
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:32,463
My arm hurts.
306
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,291
Well, don't-- What?
307
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,466
[laughter]
308
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,990
My arm hurts.
309
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,992
Uh, well, uh, Dummkopf,
310
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:41,559
don't you mean
it hurts when I do this?
311
00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:43,300
Then don't do that.
312
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,606
[laughter]
313
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:49,916
You got the wrong line.
314
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,309
Oh, what a lovely
jacket you're wearing.
315
00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:54,181
Somewhere a horse
is freezing.
316
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,443
[laughter]
317
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,271
I can't find the line.
What do I do?
318
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,402
Get out.
319
00:13:58,446 --> 00:13:59,882
-But--
-Get out!
320
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:05,932
There is only one cure
for such an illness:
321
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,281
a young lady will come out
322
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,326
and sing us all back
to good health.
323
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,894
Give her a big hand--
Miss Sarah Miller!
324
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,070
[cheering]
325
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,553
Thank you. I'd like
to sing you a song
326
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,207
that's very special to me.
327
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,817
My brother taught it to me.
328
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,558
It's called
"Sweet Molly Malone."
329
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,517
♪♪
330
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:29,303
♪In Dublin's fair city ♪
331
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,958
♪ Where the girls
are so pretty ♪
332
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:37,746
♪ I first set my eyes
on sweet Molly Malone ♪
333
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:40,880
♪ She wheeled a wheelbarrow
334
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:43,578
♪ Through streets
broad and narrow ♪
335
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:46,929
♪ Crying
"Cockles and mussels" ♪
336
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:50,715
♪ A-live-a-live-o
337
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,936
Everybody knows this song.
Why don't you join in with me?
338
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,939
♪ A-live-a-live-o
339
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:59,681
♪ A-live-a-live-o
340
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,945
♪ Crying
"Cockles and mussels" ♪
341
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:06,949
♪ A-live-a-live-o
342
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,777
My usual singing partner
343
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,648
is not able to be
on stage with me tonight,
344
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,737
but she is, however,
in the audience,
345
00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:15,131
and maybe we could all
persuade her to join me.
346
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:16,828
[cheering]
347
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:27,491
♪ She was a fishmonger,
and that was no wonder ♪
348
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:32,757
♪ For so were her father
and mother before ♪
349
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:33,715
[gasp]
350
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,023
Does anybody else
know this song?
351
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,285
I do.
352
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:39,939
Hey! Margaret!
353
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,157
NURSE: Major!
354
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,463
Come on up.
355
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,987
Major Houlihan. All right.
356
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,858
Ahem.
357
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:51,428
♪ She was a fishmonger
358
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:54,127
♪ And that was no wonder
359
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:59,132
♪ For so were her father
and mother before ♪
360
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,786
♪ They each wheeled
their barrows ♪
361
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,528
♪ Through streets
broad and narrow ♪
362
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:07,401
♪ Crying
"Cockles and mussels" ♪
363
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:11,796
♪ A-live-a-live-o
364
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,364
♪ A-live-a-live-o
365
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:16,758
♪ A-live-a-live-o
366
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,326
♪ Crying
"Cockles and mussels" ♪
367
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:24,418
♪ A-live-a-live-o
368
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,811
[cheering]
369
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:32,513
You wanna know
something, honey?
370
00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:35,211
I get the feeling I make
you kind of nervous.
371
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,734
No. No.
372
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:39,999
Well, you and I are
not all that different.
373
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:43,350
I mean, I'm just
like any other woman.
374
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,655
No, you're not.
375
00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:46,831
We all take our pants off
376
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,398
one leg at a time.
377
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,707
You know, I'd give anything
378
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,057
to have a gorgeous
head of hair like yours.
379
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,538
Ah! Thank you!
380
00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,148
I was just thinking
the same thing
381
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,715
about your lovely
head of hair.
382
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,717
How do you manage
to keep it so beautiful?
383
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,545
Oh, simple.
384
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:06,851
I give it the night off.
385
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,855
I never would've guessed.
386
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:14,685
My ex-husband gave me that
for our third anniversary.
387
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:17,862
Right after that, we split up.
388
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:22,345
Oh, but those were three
beautiful months.
389
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,608
I learned to get
the anniversaries in
390
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,219
as fast as I could.
391
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,351
That's just about as long
as I was married.
392
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,266
I see I'm not the only
one in this tent
393
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,094
who knows what it's
like to be lonely.
394
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:34,053
The nights
can get sort of empty
395
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,185
when all you've got
to curl up with is a pillow.
396
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:40,624
At least with the people here,
they're like your family.
397
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:43,105
But they're mostly just kids.
398
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,238
Oh, not that Colonel Potter.
399
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:46,804
Ha ha ha ha.
400
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,807
Oh, he's a real doll.
401
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:53,985
I got a good mind
to sashay right over
to his tent
402
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:56,988
and make his experience
at the Gaiety Theater
403
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:59,643
seem like a church social.
404
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,559
Colonel Potter is
a very happily married man.
405
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:05,736
So were my five husbands
till they met me.
406
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,870
Oh, don't worry.
407
00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,828
I'm leaving first thing
in the morning.
408
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:14,528
So tonight
it's just you and me, kid.
409
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,225
And the old pillow.
410
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:20,751
How'd you sleep?
411
00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,013
Wonderfully.
412
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,407
-I envy you.
-Didn't you sleep well?
413
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:27,149
A cup of coffee would've
gotten a better night's sleep.
414
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,412
That's one
of Freddie's jokes.
415
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:31,371
I knew
I heard that somewhere!
416
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:34,809
Must've been
around 4:30 this morning.
417
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,898
-How you feeling?
-Great.
418
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:41,163
Thanks to a, certain
wonderful doctor I know.
419
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,731
Oh, I'll bet you say that
420
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,036
to all the wonderful
doctors you know.
421
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,953
Oh, no. I mean it.
You're special.
422
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,045
Um...
423
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,178
regulations.
These hands are on duty.
424
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:01,227
He's finally started
to show some improvement.
425
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:04,404
[yawns] Vital signs are stable.
Temperature's down.
426
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,841
He seems to be much better.
He's awake now.
427
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,018
How you doin', Nowicki?
428
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:13,848
How you feelin'?
429
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,372
I know it's hard to talk,
430
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:19,549
but you're comin' along
just fine.
431
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,072
Watch out for Nurse Kellye,
though.
432
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:23,031
She likes the weak,
silent type.
433
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,949
Keep him on the D-5
and half saline solution
434
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,299
-at 125 CC's per hour.
-Right.
435
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,083
Nunzio's Chez Paris,
Hoboken, New Jersey.
436
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,302
-[phone rings]
-You guys gonna come?
437
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:34,999
Sure. It's the least we can do
438
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:36,523
for the man who put plastic
doggie doo in our bunks.
439
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:37,654
[ring]
440
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,003
Klinger,
you'd better get that.
441
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,701
Okay, but first
a quick good-bye.
442
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:43,051
Freddie, I just wanna say
what an indescribable thrill
443
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:44,400
it's been for me
to have the pleasure--
444
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:45,532
-Klinger!
-[ring]
445
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:46,620
Yeah, so long, everybody!
446
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,230
Hoboken, New Jersey.
447
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,623
Say, is that anywhere
near Princeton?
448
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:50,798
-[ring]
-KLINGER: So long!
449
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:52,713
Bye. Yeah. Come on. And--
450
00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:55,106
BOTH: 1, 2, 3, 4.
451
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,238
Terrific!
452
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:59,067
-[wolf whistles]
-I got it!
453
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:00,764
Ho, ho, ho!
454
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:03,550
-You're terrific.
-Oh, that goes double for me.
455
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:06,248
Miss Doyle, it's been
a real hoot and a holler.
456
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:09,120
Anybody who can bring a little
sunshine to this gloomy place
457
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,297
gets an eternal
graciasfrom me.
458
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,037
Oh, thank you.
You know, Sherm,
459
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:15,257
we'll probably never
see one another again,
460
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:18,173
and I'd hate myself
if I didn't do this.
461
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,176
[whooping]
462
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,787
Come on, folks. It's just
a handshake with lips.
463
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:25,267
[laughter]
464
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:27,965
Good-bye, Father.
Thanks again for your help.
465
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:30,925
Good-bye, Sarah. I wish you
good luck in your search.
466
00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,013
So do I.
467
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:33,362
-All right.
-Bye-bye.
468
00:20:33,406 --> 00:20:35,016
Everybody on the truck.
We're moving out.
469
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,932
KLINGER: Wait! Wait!
Don't anybody move!
470
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:40,369
-Klinger, one good-bye
to a customer.
-No, no, no.
471
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,806
That was G-2 on the phone.
There's an all-out offensive.
472
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:44,982
All roads are restricted
to troop convoys only.
473
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:47,420
-Nobody can leave.
You've been held over.
-[cheering]
474
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:50,292
Hey, Freddie. Shake!
475
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:56,559
FREDDIE:
So the guy with the shovel
476
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:58,257
walks up to the streetcar
conductor and says,
477
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,520
"Mother-in-law? I thought
that was your cat!"
478
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,914
[Freddie, Klinger laugh]
479
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,916
♪♪
480
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:19,103
♪♪ [theme]
481
00:21:54,010 --> 00:21:55,273
♪♪ [theme]
482
00:22:46,498 --> 00:22:48,543
♪ Shrimp boats are a-comin'
483
00:22:48,587 --> 00:22:50,850
♪ Their sails are in sight
484
00:22:55,898 --> 00:22:57,335
-Are you hit?
-No, I'm okay.
485
00:22:57,378 --> 00:22:59,728
It's her stomach.
She's been having pains.
486
00:22:59,772 --> 00:23:02,905
Well, well. Since when
did they put a stewardess
on this run?
487
00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:05,430
She's with the U.S.O.
Medic thinks
it's her appendix.
488
00:23:07,301 --> 00:23:09,216
That must be Marina's troupe.
489
00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:11,349
Hello! Anybody home?
490
00:23:11,392 --> 00:23:13,220
That's Brandy Doyle,
the stripper.
491
00:23:13,264 --> 00:23:15,179
How would you know?
492
00:23:15,222 --> 00:23:17,050
I saw her picture
in Lifemagazine.
493
00:23:17,093 --> 00:23:18,443
Uh, fully clothed.
494
00:23:18,486 --> 00:23:20,358
It is you!
Fast Freddie Nichols,
495
00:23:20,401 --> 00:23:22,490
the funniest man ever
to set foot on his ankles.
496
00:23:24,275 --> 00:23:26,277
Many's the time
you've beguiled
497
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,061
this wide-eyed
young doughboy
498
00:23:28,104 --> 00:23:30,672
back in K.C. in the old
Gaiety Theater.
499
00:23:30,716 --> 00:23:32,283
You caught my act?
500
00:23:32,326 --> 00:23:35,068
Heck. One time
I caught your garter.
501
00:23:35,111 --> 00:23:37,244
-How are you feeling?
-Great.
502
00:23:37,288 --> 00:23:40,987
Thanks to a certain
wonderful doctor I know.
503
00:23:41,030 --> 00:23:42,293
Oh, I'll bet you say that
504
00:23:42,336 --> 00:23:43,816
to all the wonderful
doctors you know.
505
00:23:43,859 --> 00:23:45,426
I mean it.
506
00:23:45,470 --> 00:23:47,298
Hey, you were just supposed
to take out her appendix,
507
00:23:47,341 --> 00:23:49,213
not steal her heart.
508
00:23:49,256 --> 00:23:50,562
That was G2 on the phone.
509
00:23:50,605 --> 00:23:51,998
There's an all-out
offensive.
510
00:23:52,041 --> 00:23:53,869
All roads are restricted
to troop convoys only.
511
00:23:53,913 --> 00:23:55,219
Nobody can leave.
You've been held over.
512
00:23:55,262 --> 00:23:56,263
[cheering]
513
00:23:56,307 --> 00:23:57,482
Hey, Freddie.
514
00:23:57,525 --> 00:23:58,483
Yeah, huh?
515
00:23:58,526 --> 00:24:00,441
Shake!
516
00:24:00,485 --> 00:24:03,575
Make sure we've got plenty of
plasma, penicillin, bandages.
517
00:24:03,618 --> 00:24:04,619
Order everything
times three.
518
00:24:04,663 --> 00:24:06,273
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
519
00:24:06,317 --> 00:24:08,319
Colonel, there's gotta be
some way to get out of here.
520
00:24:08,362 --> 00:24:10,756
Mr. Nichols, let me put this
in show folks' lingo.
521
00:24:10,799 --> 00:24:13,019
There's people out there
knockin' 'em dead.
522
00:24:13,062 --> 00:24:14,847
Unless you want
your next review
523
00:24:14,890 --> 00:24:16,283
to be in the obituaries,
524
00:24:16,327 --> 00:24:17,806
you'll just have to
set here a spell.
525
00:24:17,850 --> 00:24:19,939
But we gotta wind up
this tour on schedule,
526
00:24:19,982 --> 00:24:21,984
or in army folks' lingo,
my club date in Hoboken
527
00:24:22,028 --> 00:24:23,508
is gonna be right
down the latrine.
528
00:24:23,551 --> 00:24:25,510
I've been to Hoboken.
You're better off here.
529
00:24:25,553 --> 00:24:27,033
You don't understand.
530
00:24:27,076 --> 00:24:28,513
This could cost me
the chance of a lifetime.
531
00:24:28,556 --> 00:24:30,254
My agent says
it's the perfect showcase
532
00:24:30,297 --> 00:24:31,472
for Toast of the Town.
533
00:24:31,516 --> 00:24:32,604
What's that?
534
00:24:32,647 --> 00:24:34,214
What's that? Ed Sullivan!
535
00:24:34,258 --> 00:24:36,347
[imitating Ed Sullivan]
The really big "shew."
536
00:24:36,390 --> 00:24:38,262
-You all right, son?
-Oh!
537
00:24:38,305 --> 00:24:40,829
Look, unless this Toast
of the Townfeller's
538
00:24:40,873 --> 00:24:43,484
got scrambled eggs on his cap,
you're plumb outta luck.
539
00:24:43,528 --> 00:24:46,008
-How's he doing?
-Vital signs are stable.
540
00:24:48,228 --> 00:24:49,490
How you feeling, Nowicki?
541
00:24:51,536 --> 00:24:52,711
Has he spoken at all?
542
00:24:52,754 --> 00:24:54,408
No, not a word.
543
00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:55,888
Okay, pal.
544
00:24:55,931 --> 00:24:57,672
If you don't feel like
talking, I understand.
545
00:24:57,716 --> 00:25:01,372
But if you change your mind,
my number is "Hey, doc."
546
00:25:01,415 --> 00:25:05,114
I will open with...five.
547
00:25:05,158 --> 00:25:08,117
Hey, take it easy.
That stuff doesn't grow
on trees, you know.
548
00:25:08,161 --> 00:25:10,555
Hey, B. J.,
what's the matter with him?
549
00:25:10,598 --> 00:25:12,557
War's got his tongue.
550
00:25:16,387 --> 00:25:19,128
Sherm! [laughs]
551
00:25:19,172 --> 00:25:21,043
-Hi, Sherm.
-Howdy, ma'am.
552
00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:22,958
Sorry about the extended
engagement.
553
00:25:23,002 --> 00:25:25,439
I know this ain't exactly
the Great White Way.
554
00:25:25,483 --> 00:25:28,703
Oh, it's not the place.
It's the people.
555
00:25:28,747 --> 00:25:32,272
I thought maybe you and I could
get together and have a drink.
556
00:25:32,316 --> 00:25:34,666
I gotta warn you, if you
want to keep your insides
557
00:25:34,709 --> 00:25:36,537
lookin' as good
as your outsides,
558
00:25:36,581 --> 00:25:39,061
you better stay away from the
rotgut they serve around here.
559
00:25:39,105 --> 00:25:40,628
Oh, don't worry about me.
560
00:25:40,672 --> 00:25:42,630
I've had whiskey that'd
put hair on your glass.
561
00:25:42,674 --> 00:25:44,153
Say, come to think of it,
562
00:25:44,197 --> 00:25:46,068
I've got a bottle
of 12-year-old scotch
563
00:25:46,112 --> 00:25:48,070
I've been saving
for a dry day.
564
00:25:48,114 --> 00:25:50,595
Oh, Sherm,
your best scotch?
565
00:25:50,638 --> 00:25:54,120
You oughta save that
for a special occasion.
I don't want to be--
566
00:25:54,163 --> 00:25:57,341
Well, this is special.
It isn't every day
I get to rub elbows,
567
00:25:57,384 --> 00:25:59,386
let alone bend 'em,
with a celebrity.
568
00:25:59,430 --> 00:26:01,170
How about
the Officers Club?
569
00:26:01,214 --> 00:26:03,738
12-year-old scotch
in the Officers Club?
570
00:26:03,782 --> 00:26:06,175
You'd be amazed
how many friends
571
00:26:06,219 --> 00:26:07,699
and how little booze
you'll have.
572
00:26:07,742 --> 00:26:09,353
I guess you're right.
573
00:26:09,396 --> 00:26:12,051
Maybe we better sip
the firewater in my wigwam.
574
00:26:12,094 --> 00:26:13,705
Why, Sherman Potter!
575
00:26:13,748 --> 00:26:15,968
Oh, well, n-no, I--I ju--
576
00:26:16,011 --> 00:26:18,100
-I'll be there at 8:00.
-I--I--
577
00:26:18,144 --> 00:26:19,972
I--I--I--I--
578
00:26:21,060 --> 00:26:22,931
Hey, Sarah.
579
00:26:22,975 --> 00:26:25,630
I'm emceeing
at a red-hot bingo game
580
00:26:25,673 --> 00:26:27,196
in the Officers Club later.
581
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,373
-Care to join us?
-No, thanks, Father.
582
00:26:31,113 --> 00:26:33,986
Not much fun being
stuck in the middle
of nowhere, is it?
583
00:26:34,029 --> 00:26:35,379
Oh, it's not that.
584
00:26:36,815 --> 00:26:38,164
Now it looks
like I may never get
585
00:26:38,207 --> 00:26:40,384
to the 121st evac hospital.
586
00:26:40,427 --> 00:26:41,820
Why is that so important?
587
00:26:43,604 --> 00:26:46,433
Her brother was killed
in combat near here.
588
00:26:46,477 --> 00:26:48,783
He died at the 121st.
589
00:26:48,827 --> 00:26:51,351
-I'm sorry.
-To think I've
come all this way
590
00:26:51,395 --> 00:26:52,961
to go home empty-handed.
591
00:26:53,005 --> 00:26:55,355
What do you mean?
I don't understand.
592
00:26:55,399 --> 00:26:58,445
What are you looking for?
Maybe we can help.
593
00:26:58,489 --> 00:27:02,101
Well, most importantly,
a pair of ballet shoes.
594
00:27:04,364 --> 00:27:06,540
My brother was in love
with a ballerina,
595
00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:08,803
and they had planned
to get married.
596
00:27:08,847 --> 00:27:10,675
And the night
before he shipped out,
597
00:27:10,718 --> 00:27:13,199
she gave him a pair
of her toe shoes,
598
00:27:13,242 --> 00:27:16,942
and he treasured them
as his only link to her.
599
00:27:16,985 --> 00:27:20,336
When his effects were returned,
the shoes weren't among them.
600
00:27:20,380 --> 00:27:22,295
I thought if I
could find them,
601
00:27:22,338 --> 00:27:25,254
his fiancée and I would have
a memory of him we could share.
602
00:27:25,298 --> 00:27:28,083
You know, Sarah, if you
never received the shoes,
603
00:27:28,127 --> 00:27:30,434
chances are they were
either lost or stolen
604
00:27:30,477 --> 00:27:32,392
before they ever
reached the 121st.
605
00:27:32,436 --> 00:27:34,916
What kind of an injury
did your brother have, Sarah?
606
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,352
A head wound.
607
00:27:36,396 --> 00:27:38,093
They usually send
the neurosurgical cases
608
00:27:38,137 --> 00:27:39,399
to the 8063rd.
609
00:27:39,443 --> 00:27:41,662
I know the chaplain there.
610
00:27:41,706 --> 00:27:44,448
I could call him and ask
him about the shoes.
611
00:27:45,536 --> 00:27:46,624
Where's Marina?
612
00:27:46,667 --> 00:27:48,321
Oh, she wanted to visit,
613
00:27:48,364 --> 00:27:50,410
so I flagged down the first
wheelchair that came by.
614
00:27:50,454 --> 00:27:54,283
I bet there are a lot of things
you're lookin' forward to
615
00:27:54,327 --> 00:27:55,676
when you get home,
huh, Michael?
616
00:27:58,549 --> 00:28:01,639
Well, what I'm lookin'
forward to most
617
00:28:01,682 --> 00:28:05,991
is a big bite
of a Golden Delicious apple.
618
00:28:08,254 --> 00:28:10,561
Not an ordinary apple
like you get in the market.
619
00:28:10,604 --> 00:28:12,084
I'm from Washington State,
620
00:28:12,127 --> 00:28:13,999
where we pluck 'em
right off the tree.
621
00:28:14,042 --> 00:28:16,218
They're so...fresh
622
00:28:16,262 --> 00:28:18,873
that they crackle when you
sink your teeth into 'em.
623
00:28:18,917 --> 00:28:20,701
And inside, snow white.
624
00:28:24,792 --> 00:28:26,315
Thought it couldn't
hurt to try.
625
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:27,708
If I was an apple,
626
00:28:27,752 --> 00:28:29,710
I'd want you
to deliver my eulogy.
627
00:28:29,754 --> 00:28:31,973
Listen to her, Nowicki.
She'll keep the doctor away.
628
00:28:33,061 --> 00:28:34,149
Thanks for trying, Marina.
629
00:28:34,193 --> 00:28:35,542
He didn't say anything,
630
00:28:35,586 --> 00:28:37,239
but I think maybe he heard me.
631
00:28:37,283 --> 00:28:39,067
Now that you're on the case,
632
00:28:39,111 --> 00:28:42,027
maybe he'll start showing
signs of showing signs.
633
00:28:42,070 --> 00:28:43,898
-You were terrific.
-Thanks.
634
00:28:46,161 --> 00:28:47,641
Mm, Mm-mm.
635
00:28:48,773 --> 00:28:50,339
What's the matter?
636
00:28:50,383 --> 00:28:52,167
I think you may be pushing
your recovery a little bit.
637
00:28:52,211 --> 00:28:54,300
Oh, Hawkeye, I feel fine.
638
00:28:54,343 --> 00:28:55,736
Yeah, well, your lips
may have a relapse.
639
00:28:55,780 --> 00:28:57,433
They're not even
on solid food yet.
640
00:28:57,477 --> 00:28:58,783
Try to get some sleep.
641
00:29:04,049 --> 00:29:04,963
Hey, doc?
642
00:29:09,620 --> 00:29:12,274
Will you tell her
that I like apples too?
643
00:29:14,668 --> 00:29:15,887
Yeah, sure.
644
00:29:22,633 --> 00:29:24,243
[knocking]
645
00:29:28,116 --> 00:29:30,597
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
646
00:29:30,641 --> 00:29:32,164
I didn't have a thing to wear.
647
00:29:32,207 --> 00:29:34,732
Wow! I'll show you in
648
00:29:34,775 --> 00:29:37,169
just as soon as I can
let go of the door.
649
00:29:37,212 --> 00:29:39,737
Oh, I think
I can find my way.
650
00:29:42,130 --> 00:29:44,611
Didn't realize you were
gonna wear your Class A's.
651
00:29:44,655 --> 00:29:47,527
Well, it was a choice of this
or my working clothes,
652
00:29:47,571 --> 00:29:50,530
and I figured it was
a little bit chilly for them.
653
00:29:50,574 --> 00:29:54,882
That's funny.
I was just beginning
to notice how warm it is.
654
00:29:54,926 --> 00:29:57,319
Well, enough
about the weather.
655
00:29:57,363 --> 00:29:59,844
How would you like
to offer a lady a belt?
656
00:29:59,887 --> 00:30:01,541
Oh. Comin' right up.
657
00:30:12,508 --> 00:30:13,814
Now, watch this stuff.
658
00:30:13,858 --> 00:30:15,599
It's got more kick
than the Rockettes.
659
00:30:18,863 --> 00:30:20,516
How about a toast?
660
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,649
To two old war horses.
661
00:30:22,693 --> 00:30:25,609
May your tassels soon
twirl in peacetime.
662
00:30:25,652 --> 00:30:26,784
Amen.
663
00:30:30,222 --> 00:30:34,269
Ooh, Sherm, this is good.
664
00:30:34,313 --> 00:30:38,534
Not enough O's in "smooth"
to describe this.
665
00:30:50,764 --> 00:30:52,636
He's right here.
Hold on, Chaplain.
666
00:30:54,420 --> 00:30:57,510
Charlie, there's a young woman
here with a U.S.O. troupe
667
00:30:57,553 --> 00:30:59,991
who's trying to locate her
brother's personal effects.
668
00:31:00,034 --> 00:31:01,427
He was a K.I.A.
669
00:31:01,470 --> 00:31:05,997
Well, primarily,
a pair of ballet shoes.
670
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,390
No, no, they were
kind of a keepsake.
671
00:31:08,434 --> 00:31:11,698
I'd appreciate it if you could
check your lost and found.
672
00:31:11,742 --> 00:31:15,528
Well, if you find them,
please call me here.
673
00:31:15,571 --> 00:31:17,443
Uh, thanks, Charlie. Bye-bye.
674
00:31:19,010 --> 00:31:21,577
Well, he'll do what he can.
675
00:31:21,621 --> 00:31:23,405
Thanks.
676
00:31:23,449 --> 00:31:26,234
♪♪
677
00:31:26,278 --> 00:31:27,888
-[whooping]
-Beautiful!
678
00:31:34,025 --> 00:31:35,417
What's the matter,
Major?
679
00:31:35,461 --> 00:31:37,550
Didn't I soothe
your savage breast?
680
00:31:37,593 --> 00:31:39,726
[chuckles]
No offense, Miss Carlyle,
681
00:31:39,770 --> 00:31:41,206
but I've always been
of the opinion
682
00:31:41,249 --> 00:31:42,773
that squeezing is a technique
683
00:31:42,816 --> 00:31:45,732
best suited to making
orange juice, not music.
684
00:31:45,776 --> 00:31:48,561
Oh. My, you do have
a way with arrogance.
685
00:31:48,604 --> 00:31:50,041
Well, I've just never
been a devotee
686
00:31:50,084 --> 00:31:51,695
of musical instruments
that one has to wear.
687
00:31:51,738 --> 00:31:53,827
Oh! This old thing.
688
00:31:53,871 --> 00:31:57,396
-Here, hold my wrap.
-I don't want to h--
689
00:31:57,439 --> 00:31:59,485
Maybe I should, uh,
try a little of this?
690
00:31:59,528 --> 00:32:02,749
[chuckles] Going to
favor us with a selection
of boogie-woogie?
691
00:32:02,793 --> 00:32:04,098
[chuckles]
692
00:32:04,142 --> 00:32:07,798
♪♪ [glissando]
693
00:32:09,669 --> 00:32:12,019
♪♪ [classical]
694
00:32:24,510 --> 00:32:26,338
Any other requests
from the boogie man?
695
00:32:39,873 --> 00:32:40,961
[cheering]
696
00:32:45,139 --> 00:32:47,054
I am sorry, Eleanor.
697
00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:49,883
I had no idea
you were so versatile.
698
00:32:49,927 --> 00:32:53,757
Why are you wasting your time
with that overgrown concertina?
699
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,193
I like to eat.
700
00:32:55,236 --> 00:32:58,152
Play something
we can dance to.
701
00:32:58,196 --> 00:33:01,286
No, no, no, no, no!
Don't listen to those boors.
702
00:33:01,329 --> 00:33:03,027
Oh, come on, Major.
703
00:33:03,070 --> 00:33:05,116
Doesn't it get lonely
up there in your ivory tower?
704
00:33:05,159 --> 00:33:07,683
Even Dvorak and Brahms
wrote folk dances, you know.
705
00:33:07,727 --> 00:33:09,947
-I--
-♪♪ [intro]
706
00:33:09,990 --> 00:33:12,645
♪♪ ["Roll Out the Barrel"]
707
00:33:12,688 --> 00:33:14,081
Come on, Major.
You wanna dance?
708
00:33:14,125 --> 00:33:16,562
I thought you'd never ask.
709
00:33:22,655 --> 00:33:26,050
It's a good thing
that stuff is almost gone.
710
00:33:26,093 --> 00:33:28,704
Any more and we could
get swizzled.
711
00:33:31,490 --> 00:33:33,100
A toast.
712
00:33:33,144 --> 00:33:35,755
To twirling tassels.
713
00:33:37,670 --> 00:33:39,411
[cheering in distance]
714
00:33:39,454 --> 00:33:41,108
Oh, you know, Sherm,
715
00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:45,199
it's a shame we didn't meet
back in those days of K.C.
716
00:33:45,243 --> 00:33:49,203
We could have had
one whizbang of a blowout.
717
00:33:49,247 --> 00:33:51,640
Oh, when I first caught
a glimpse of you
718
00:33:51,684 --> 00:33:54,687
and your no-nonsense ways,
719
00:33:54,730 --> 00:33:57,864
that sparkle in your eye...
720
00:33:57,908 --> 00:34:01,128
Oh, I like a man who's been
pushed around a little by life
721
00:34:01,172 --> 00:34:04,175
and who just pushes
right back.
722
00:34:04,218 --> 00:34:07,395
Oh, Sherm, you got spunk.
723
00:34:17,405 --> 00:34:19,233
About this priest in Dublin--
724
00:34:19,277 --> 00:34:21,061
a parishioner, Mr. O'Malley,
comes to him, and he says,
725
00:34:21,105 --> 00:34:23,585
"Father Casey, you've
got to help me out."
726
00:34:23,629 --> 00:34:26,284
So Father Casey
says to O'Malley,
727
00:34:26,327 --> 00:34:28,199
"You'll have plenty
to feed your ten children
728
00:34:28,242 --> 00:34:29,940
if you plant potatoes
in the spring,
729
00:34:29,983 --> 00:34:32,246
"corn in the summer,
cabbage in the fall,
730
00:34:32,290 --> 00:34:34,161
and let your wife
decide what to do
731
00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:35,946
in the cold winter months."
732
00:34:35,989 --> 00:34:39,558
Then O'Malley says, "Father,
you don't understand."
733
00:34:39,601 --> 00:34:42,909
"That's how I got the ten
kids in the first place."
734
00:34:42,953 --> 00:34:45,303
How did you know that?
I just wrote it.
735
00:34:45,346 --> 00:34:48,349
Fat chance, Groucho.
That's a seminary standard.
736
00:34:48,393 --> 00:34:50,090
The First Commandment
of comedy
737
00:34:50,134 --> 00:34:52,136
is "Thou Shalt Not Steal."
738
00:34:52,179 --> 00:34:53,964
[laughs]
739
00:34:54,007 --> 00:34:56,531
Now, would you try
to get the 8063rd again?
740
00:34:56,575 --> 00:34:59,099
Sure, Father.
Boy, everybody's a comedian.
741
00:35:03,495 --> 00:35:05,018
Hello, Sparky.
742
00:35:05,062 --> 00:35:06,498
Is this a bad connection,
743
00:35:06,541 --> 00:35:08,717
or are you eating
breakfast cereal?
744
00:35:08,761 --> 00:35:11,068
Breakfast cereal.
Never mind.
745
00:35:11,111 --> 00:35:14,549
Uh, I want to get
through to the 8063rd.
746
00:35:14,593 --> 00:35:16,638
Oh. Hold on.
747
00:35:16,682 --> 00:35:18,162
Communications blackout.
748
00:35:18,205 --> 00:35:19,685
I'll bet you
there's a Red Chinese
749
00:35:19,728 --> 00:35:21,339
with a copy of Berlitz
eavesdropping on every phone.
750
00:35:21,382 --> 00:35:23,602
A regular Communist
party line. [laughs]
751
00:35:23,645 --> 00:35:26,126
I have to find out
if there's any word
on the ballet shoes.
752
00:35:26,170 --> 00:35:27,823
-Sorry, Father.
-Bother!
753
00:35:30,522 --> 00:35:32,872
Just wanted to make sure
you were decent.
754
00:35:32,916 --> 00:35:35,266
I've got a surprise for you.
755
00:35:36,963 --> 00:35:38,051
Hi.
756
00:35:40,184 --> 00:35:43,361
He insisted on returning
your visit.
757
00:35:47,452 --> 00:35:48,975
Hi, Michael.
758
00:35:49,019 --> 00:35:50,934
I like my friends
to call me Mike.
759
00:35:50,977 --> 00:35:53,632
Okay. Mike.
760
00:35:53,675 --> 00:35:55,460
Are they treatin' you okay?
761
00:35:55,503 --> 00:35:57,375
Nothing to worry about, Mike.
762
00:35:57,418 --> 00:35:59,638
I got the greatest doctor
in the world.
763
00:35:59,681 --> 00:36:01,248
Well, that's good.
764
00:36:01,292 --> 00:36:02,989
And if they start
givin' you a hard time,
765
00:36:03,033 --> 00:36:04,904
just tell 'em they'll
have to answer to Nowicki.
766
00:36:07,211 --> 00:36:09,387
How about that?
Words are coming out.
767
00:36:09,430 --> 00:36:11,737
His lips are moving,
and nobody has a hand
in his back.
768
00:36:11,780 --> 00:36:14,000
Nice, huh?
From no talk to sweet talk.
769
00:36:14,044 --> 00:36:15,654
She's just amazing.
770
00:36:15,697 --> 00:36:17,264
I'd like to prescribe
a few minutes with her
771
00:36:17,308 --> 00:36:18,962
to every kid
who comes through here.
772
00:36:19,005 --> 00:36:20,876
MAN [on P.A.]: Attention!
Incoming wounded!
773
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,617
Hurry while there's
still a wide selection
774
00:36:22,661 --> 00:36:24,402
of models and colors
to choose from.
775
00:36:24,445 --> 00:36:26,012
We'll have a lot
of prescriptions
for her to fill.
776
00:36:26,056 --> 00:36:27,796
[helicopter whirring]
777
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:29,189
You're gonna be okay,
Private.
778
00:36:29,233 --> 00:36:31,017
Nothing broken,
leaking, or AWOL.
779
00:36:31,061 --> 00:36:32,671
Thanks, doc. Oh!
780
00:36:32,714 --> 00:36:34,455
Here.
781
00:36:34,499 --> 00:36:35,761
What's this?
782
00:36:38,068 --> 00:36:40,244
Don't tell me you were wounded
at the battle of Swan Lake?
783
00:36:40,287 --> 00:36:41,985
Battalion Aid gave 'em to me.
784
00:36:42,028 --> 00:36:43,856
Said I was supposed
to deliver 'em here.
785
00:36:43,899 --> 00:36:46,380
Said they were
from the 8063rd.
786
00:36:46,424 --> 00:36:47,729
They found them!
787
00:36:47,773 --> 00:36:49,383
She's always nervous
on opening night.
788
00:36:49,427 --> 00:36:52,125
Father Mulcahy!
They found them!
789
00:36:52,169 --> 00:36:54,693
That's wonderful!
Wonderful!
790
00:36:54,736 --> 00:36:57,304
Sarah! Sarah!
791
00:36:57,348 --> 00:37:00,612
Miss Miller!
Sarah, they found them!
792
00:37:00,655 --> 00:37:01,830
KELLYE: Father Mulcahy!
793
00:37:01,874 --> 00:37:03,658
Over here!
We need a hand!
794
00:37:03,702 --> 00:37:05,269
Father, where
did they come from?
795
00:37:18,543 --> 00:37:21,372
-Hi.
-Shh. You'll wake me.
796
00:37:21,415 --> 00:37:23,243
You do look exhausted.
797
00:37:23,287 --> 00:37:26,681
I've been operating
since dawn's early light.
798
00:37:26,725 --> 00:37:28,205
This is a very
particular crowd.
799
00:37:28,248 --> 00:37:31,338
They want all their insides
put back inside.
800
00:37:31,382 --> 00:37:32,948
I just wanted to come by
and see how you were feeling
801
00:37:32,992 --> 00:37:34,167
before I went to sleep.
802
00:37:34,211 --> 00:37:35,777
Did I make it?
803
00:37:35,821 --> 00:37:39,999
You're sweet to take such
good care of me, Hawkeye.
804
00:37:40,043 --> 00:37:42,175
That's one of the things
I wanted to talk to you about.
805
00:37:42,219 --> 00:37:43,698
[exhales]
806
00:37:43,742 --> 00:37:45,831
The travel restrictions
have been lifted.
807
00:37:45,874 --> 00:37:48,181
Your friends are going
to the 121st evac
tomorrow morning.
808
00:37:48,225 --> 00:37:49,878
You'll be
able to join them.
809
00:37:51,489 --> 00:37:53,882
Do I really have to go?
810
00:37:53,926 --> 00:37:55,841
Well, we have this whole
new batch of wounded.
811
00:37:55,884 --> 00:37:57,147
They're taking numbers
for beds.
812
00:37:58,844 --> 00:38:00,846
Well, I could stay
in the VIP tent.
813
00:38:00,889 --> 00:38:02,761
I'd be out
of everybody's way there
814
00:38:02,804 --> 00:38:05,111
and still near you.
815
00:38:05,155 --> 00:38:06,330
Near me, huh?
816
00:38:06,373 --> 00:38:08,680
You mean a great deal to me.
817
00:38:08,723 --> 00:38:10,812
You don't even know me.
818
00:38:10,856 --> 00:38:12,205
I know enough.
819
00:38:13,554 --> 00:38:15,817
Marina, when you came here,
820
00:38:15,861 --> 00:38:17,297
you were sick.
821
00:38:17,341 --> 00:38:19,908
I--I literally
swept you off your feet.
822
00:38:21,388 --> 00:38:23,695
All you see is a miracle man
in a white suit.
823
00:38:23,738 --> 00:38:28,439
Oh, come on, Hawkeye.
I'm not a kid.
824
00:38:28,482 --> 00:38:30,571
I see who you really are.
825
00:38:32,095 --> 00:38:33,139
All you've seen
826
00:38:33,183 --> 00:38:34,358
is the bedside of my manner.
827
00:38:34,401 --> 00:38:36,186
You haven't
seen the bad side.
828
00:38:36,229 --> 00:38:37,883
The real Hawkeye Pierce
829
00:38:37,926 --> 00:38:41,016
is an egotistical,
irresponsible martini-guzzler.
830
00:38:41,060 --> 00:38:43,018
Now who's the song
and dance man?
831
00:38:43,062 --> 00:38:44,933
Look, I can show you
a roomful of women
832
00:38:44,977 --> 00:38:46,979
as lack-of-character
witnesses.
833
00:38:49,112 --> 00:38:51,505
I can't--
834
00:38:51,549 --> 00:38:54,117
I can't take advantage
of your feelings for me.
835
00:38:56,162 --> 00:38:58,382
And believe me, the thought
has crossed my mind.
836
00:38:58,425 --> 00:39:00,558
I'm sorry.
I'm not convinced.
837
00:39:00,601 --> 00:39:02,037
Hawkeye--
838
00:39:02,081 --> 00:39:03,169
Marina...
839
00:39:05,563 --> 00:39:08,218
you ought to be back home
auditioning for musicals
840
00:39:08,261 --> 00:39:12,961
and--and dating
starving young actors...
841
00:39:15,138 --> 00:39:16,965
eating those Delicious apples.
842
00:39:21,361 --> 00:39:24,277
I've seen too much
ever to be wide-eyed again.
843
00:39:26,714 --> 00:39:29,064
We're the wrong blood type.
We don't match.
844
00:39:30,631 --> 00:39:32,938
Innocence-positive
and lechery-negative.
845
00:39:34,592 --> 00:39:37,899
Let me stay.
I'll prove you're wrong.
846
00:39:37,943 --> 00:39:39,597
No, no.
It's not worth the risk.
847
00:39:42,991 --> 00:39:45,385
Remember, you did ask me
not to leave a scar.
848
00:39:50,260 --> 00:39:52,958
Well, Sherm, I guess
this is the big good-bye.
849
00:39:53,001 --> 00:39:56,309
Sayonara, Brandy. Sure glad
I had a chance to find out
850
00:39:56,353 --> 00:39:58,224
your beauty is more
than skin deep.
851
00:39:58,268 --> 00:40:00,226
Too bad we haven't
got any more
852
00:40:00,270 --> 00:40:02,141
of that high-class
hooch of yours.
853
00:40:02,185 --> 00:40:04,578
Well, at least it gave its
life for a good hangover.
854
00:40:06,754 --> 00:40:07,973
Good-bye, Sherm.
855
00:40:08,016 --> 00:40:09,540
Good-bye, Miss Brandy.
856
00:40:09,583 --> 00:40:12,282
If you ever find yourself
amblin' through Missouri,
857
00:40:12,325 --> 00:40:13,457
be sure to look me up.
858
00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:15,372
Oh, you bet I will.
859
00:40:15,415 --> 00:40:17,374
Mildred will cook us
something special.
860
00:40:17,417 --> 00:40:19,550
Oh.
861
00:40:19,593 --> 00:40:22,074
But in case I don't,
862
00:40:22,117 --> 00:40:23,467
good-bye, Sherm.
863
00:40:32,302 --> 00:40:35,043
MULCAHY: Well, it's almost
time to say good-bye, Sarah.
864
00:40:35,087 --> 00:40:37,916
I guess so, Father.
Thank you both.
865
00:40:37,959 --> 00:40:40,179
You've given me
some wonderful memories.
866
00:40:40,223 --> 00:40:43,443
It'll be a while
before we forget you too.
867
00:40:43,487 --> 00:40:45,445
Well, Ellie,
868
00:40:45,489 --> 00:40:46,925
I guess the time has come
869
00:40:46,968 --> 00:40:49,275
to play out the coda
to this little etude.
870
00:40:49,319 --> 00:40:51,103
And I suppose
we could say good-bye.
871
00:40:51,146 --> 00:40:52,887
[chuckles] Maybe so.
872
00:40:52,931 --> 00:40:54,802
I do look forward to one day
seeing you in Boston,
873
00:40:54,846 --> 00:40:56,804
as a guest soloist
at Symphony Hall.
874
00:40:56,848 --> 00:40:58,763
Ooh. Then I look forward
to seeing you
875
00:40:58,806 --> 00:41:01,156
at your local beer parlor
on oom-pah-pah night.
876
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,158
Well, perhaps there's a roll
or two left in my barrel.
877
00:41:03,202 --> 00:41:04,159
[laughs]
878
00:41:04,203 --> 00:41:05,204
Shake.
879
00:41:05,248 --> 00:41:06,379
[burbling]
880
00:41:06,423 --> 00:41:07,815
No, no, no. For real, Max.
881
00:41:07,859 --> 00:41:10,775
-For real.
-Oh! Yeah. Yeah.
882
00:41:14,387 --> 00:41:16,911
Bye, Mike. You take good
care of yourself, okay?
883
00:41:16,955 --> 00:41:18,870
That goes double for you.
884
00:41:18,913 --> 00:41:20,524
I'll look for you
on the Hit Parade.
885
00:41:20,567 --> 00:41:22,134
[laughs]
886
00:41:22,177 --> 00:41:23,962
-Bye, doctor.
-Bye-bye, Marina.
887
00:41:24,005 --> 00:41:25,790
Thanks for the help.
You were wonderful.
888
00:41:25,833 --> 00:41:27,095
All aboard, Marina.
889
00:41:27,139 --> 00:41:29,359
Hey. Send you a postcard
from Times Square.
890
00:41:29,402 --> 00:41:31,143
At night,
with all the lights.
891
00:41:32,536 --> 00:41:33,885
I'd send you one
from the Korean theater,
892
00:41:33,928 --> 00:41:35,408
but it's always
the same old story.
893
00:41:37,367 --> 00:41:38,890
Well...
894
00:41:38,933 --> 00:41:41,936
Well, break a leg.
895
00:41:43,286 --> 00:41:45,244
If I do, can you
recommend a good doctor?
896
00:41:54,166 --> 00:41:56,342
♪♪ [vocalizing]
897
00:41:56,386 --> 00:42:00,868
♪ People of MASH,
we adore you ♪
898
00:42:00,912 --> 00:42:05,351
♪ Right from the day
we first saw you ♪
899
00:42:05,395 --> 00:42:09,877
♪ This, all I've got,
is meant for you ♪
900
00:42:09,921 --> 00:42:12,793
♪ People of MASH,
we love you ♪
901
00:42:12,837 --> 00:42:15,405
Okay, people, let's get back
to work. The show is over.
902
00:42:15,448 --> 00:42:16,884
-[whooping]
-Bye!
903
00:42:21,193 --> 00:42:22,977
Sure does seem quiet
around here.
904
00:42:23,021 --> 00:42:24,457
It's the same kind of
feeling I used to get
905
00:42:24,501 --> 00:42:26,459
when the circus left town.
906
00:42:26,503 --> 00:42:29,375
We certainly did have
our three rings full,
didn't we?
907
00:42:29,419 --> 00:42:31,029
All they left us
was the tents.
908
00:42:31,072 --> 00:42:32,552
Listen, be grateful.
At least they took Freddie
909
00:42:32,596 --> 00:42:33,814
and his stupid jokes, hmm?
910
00:42:33,858 --> 00:42:35,381
KLINGER [knocking]: Hey.
911
00:42:35,425 --> 00:42:37,383
What's with the lock?
I can't get in.
912
00:42:37,427 --> 00:42:39,167
We barred the door,
Katie.
913
00:42:39,211 --> 00:42:40,647
Take your act on the road.
914
00:42:40,691 --> 00:42:42,736
But seriously,
I've given up comedy.
915
00:42:42,780 --> 00:42:45,304
I realize now my jokes
are no laughing matter.
916
00:42:45,348 --> 00:42:47,219
-No more jokes?
-No.
917
00:42:47,262 --> 00:42:49,003
-You swear?
-Yeah.
918
00:42:50,265 --> 00:42:51,484
Eh, all right.
919
00:42:54,705 --> 00:42:56,837
♪♪ ["Lady Of Spain"]
920
00:43:00,101 --> 00:43:01,407
♪♪
921
00:43:11,243 --> 00:43:12,636
♪♪ [theme]
67137
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