All language subtitles for MASH (1972) - S09E19 - The Foresight Saga (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 ImE)_track4_[eng]

♪♪ [theme]

[jets passing overhead]

Guten Morgen,gang.

Well, glad to see
we've got a full house.

I'll bet you're all
just dying to know

why I've called you here.

If it's about that peephole
in the nurses' shower,

I'm innocent.

And, Klinger, you
can have your drill back.

Tasteless, but at least
it's not funny.

Take it easy, Margaret.
Everybody needs a hobby.

Could we get on
with this, please?

Indeed.
We're all in our places

with dull, grumpy faces.

Fine, fine.
I'll get right to it.

-He's gonna get to it.
-Huh?

It all started this morning
when my intrepid mailman,

Max Klinger,
brought me this letter.

Klinger, who's it from?

The colonel has
sworn me to secrecy

with real swear words.

Better hurry up, Colonel.

I can't stay awake
much longer.

Oh, I think this is
gonna open your peepers

real wide, Hunnicutt,

and your ears too, because
this here's from... Radar.

-Radar!
-Oh, how nice!

I thought it would be nice
if we were all together

when we heard what's new
with the little lad.

Well, for starters,
he's learned to write.

Well, read it, Colonel.

Hold on to your panama, Padre.

Just gotta get my specs.

I'm dying of curiosity.

"Dear Colonel: This is Walter,
formerly Radar, O'Reilly

"writing you from Ottumwa,
Iowa, U.S. Of A.

"It's kind of funny being
a civilian human again.

"There's no one
to give me orders.

Except Mom, of course.
Ha-ha."

[all laughing]

Well, he certainly hasn't
lost his savage wit.

"Guess what? I'm making
the farm a great big success.

"It's gonna be our best year
ever, wheat-wise.

"I've got corn
coming out of my ears

"and I look to make
a pretty penny.

I guess you really do reap
what you sew."

[laughs]
He spelled it S-E-W.

-[laughs] Of course he did.
-What's wrong with that?

[all laughing]

"Sir, I really
miss you people,

"but sometimes I get
so busy I forget to.

"Then when I remember,
I miss you all twice as much.

"And every night I pray
for this police action
war to get over

so you can all come back
to the people... you love."

[clears throat]

"Well, I've got to get
off this letter

"and on the tractor,

"so give my love to Hawkeye
and everyone else,

"even Major Winchester.

I bet he makes a face
when he hears that."

[chuckles]

"Anyway, no matter
how successful I get,

I'll always be your Radar."

"Sincerely yours

in long-distance affection,

Walter O'Reilly...
gentleman farmer."

That's very sweet.

Little twerp. Just when I
thought I'd gotten over him.

How about that? Our old buddy's
a tycoon in the making.

Indeed. Today Ottumwa,
tomorrow Keokuk.

I think there's a sermon
in that letter.

Me too. Klinger,
special-deliver this
over to the padre.

Hey, I got a great
sermon title for you, Father.

"The Meek Shall Inherit
the North Forty."

Pretty good, huh?
Is that pretty good, huh?

-Klinger, watch my glasses!
-Ooh!

I think they're broke.

Always
jumping to conclusions.

Well, surely you
have another pair.

You want to answer him,
Klinger?

I broke those last week.

But you gotta admit, Colonel,
I really nailed that fly good.

[growls]

We just shared
a moment of great warmth.

I think a murder right now
would really spoil the mood.

Well, this crack-up
was partly my fault.

Damn!

I can't do any reading
or work around here

until I get a new pair.

I know. That optometrist who
goes around to all the camps.

Why don't you put in
a call to him?

Klinger, ring up H.Q.

and find out where that
traveling eye doctor is.

If he's in the neighborhood,
get him up here.

If he's not,
get him up here!

Hi, good lookin'.
Get sick here often?

Don't you ever run out?

-Sir.
-Margaret.

What's with her?
All week long,

she's been dishing out
cold shoulder.

Well, everybody's entitled

to be down in the dumps
once in a while.

Yeah, and this
is Margaret's year.

Wait a minute, Igor.
What's that green stuff?

We had roast beef
yesterday.

Folks, this is a treat
that can't be beat.

Fresh-made coleslaw.

Come on!
Nothing's fresh around here.

Even the air's a day old.

-Ohh.
-Ha!

HAWKEYE, B.J.: Ohh!

I don't believe it!

Something's not rotten
in Korea.

This tastes
as good as the slaw

Mildred makes back home
for picnics.

Ants crawl all the way
from Arkansas
just to sample it.

This is incredible.
What's more, it's edible.

Where'd you get
the fixings, Igor?

Some Korean kid
brought it in.

And some radishes
and cucumbers too.

Said he owed us a favor.

His name was Park Sing...
Sang...

Sung! Park Sung.
Remember?

Refugee family
from up north.

Their village was
bombed out in a raid.

Yeah, the grandmother
had pneumonia.
We took care of her.

Sounds like a fair deal.

We save her from death.
He saves us from lunch.

Notice how much nicer
lunch is

when they use real food?

Hey, there's the kid
with all the cabbage.

-Park Sung!
-Hiya.

Oh, hello, Dr. Hawkeye,
Dr. Sherman, Dr. B.J.

-Good to see you, boy.
-Thanks for the vegetables.

I've had it out
to here with you.

I am only too glad
to make present

after you save
my grandmother.

-How is she doing now?
-She is well.

We build small hut
near here.

Oh, glad to see you
found a place to live.

Yes, we make new life.

I try to grow food,
but ground very rocky.

Some things grow good.
Some do not.

American G.I. gave me this
to learn to grow things

but I do not
read English good.

Pretty hard to read anything
with those glasses.

Why don't we get that
road company optometrist

to make him a new pair?

Primo brainstorm, Pierce.

Park Sung, you come back
here tomorrow morning

and we'll fix you up with
a new pair of eyeglasses.

Thank you.
You are very good friends.

-This rabbit, he is
not well, yes?
-Yeah?

POTTER: Well, old Bugs
hasn't touched his food.

From the looks of him,
he's too pooped to hop.

Well, we'll take
care of him.

How bad off can he be
with four rabbit's feet?

L-O-P...

Z-D.

-[laughs]
-Those'll do fine.

They look good too.

Very distinguished.
All you need is a briar pipe,

and you'll be ready
for the lecture circuit.

Here, son, have a gander.

These are A number one.
I can have them?

You bet. No charge.

I'll pick up
the lenses in Seoul

and be back day
after tomorrow.

I'll be seeing you then,

and you'll be
seeing me even better.

Thank you very much.
Now I can go?

I want to see if your
medicine helps Bugs Rabbit.

Yeah, sure.

Dr. Herzog, thanks
for fixing the boy up.

Oh, no problem.
Oh, the name's Bud.

Actually, it's Myron,

but I don't like
to talk about that.

Oh, Colonel!
You're still here.

-Yep.
-You're all here.

Until we leave.
What brings you here?

Oh, nothing.

Oh... Oh, I heard
Dr. Herzog was here,

and I wanted to meet him.

Dr. Herzog, I presume.
I'm Major Houlihan.

Well, Major,
nice to meet you.

Oh, please,
call me Margaret.

-Get her.
-I do believe

Margaret's making eyes
at the optometrist.

When you're through here,

maybe I can show you
around,

and we'll get
better acquainted.

[nervous laughing]
Ohh.

I'm afraid you're
on your own, Bud.

And seeing as how five's
a crowd, let's go, gents.

-I think we should stay
and chaperone these kids.
-Out!

-You got some I.D., fella?
-Out! Out, out!

Oh, thank heavens
they're gone.

Now then, uh,
Bud, was it?

Maybe we'd better
make that Dr. Herzog.

"The ad hoc disposition
of said dossier...

to be implemented
immediately."

Ahh, finally something
I can understand.

It says "sign here."

Damn, I can barely
see the paper.

-Sherman T...
-Sherman T...

I hope I don't run out of paper
before I run out of Potter.

I'm warning you,

if you break the glasses
I'm getting tomorrow,

you'd better grab a jeep
and head out.

And floor it! Because
when I'm teed off,
I'm fast on my feet.

The colonel obviously
doesn't need glasses

to read me the riot act.

Just read me
the letter from Mildred.

Sir, this is personal.

Maybe this should wait until
you can read it yourself.

Balderdash. It might
be important. Read it.

Yes, sir.

"Dear Puddin' Head"...
Puddin' Head?

-Yeah!
-Good name, sir.

"I sure do miss
your cuddly toes

and the sweet way
you whistle when you snore."

On second thought,
this can wait till
the new specs arrive.

And if you know
what's good for you,

you'll keep my cuddly
toes to yourself.

Word of honor,
Colonel Puddin' Head.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

All you do is "Uh-huh."
What's the verdict?

Relax, Major.
You don't need glasses.

I don't?
Oh, that's wonderful!

I'm pretty sure that
your vision is blurred

because of a simple allergy.

Now, you take these drops
for just a few days.

-You oughta be fine.
-What a relief.

Oh, I've been so
edgy about this.

Does this mean that our
whirlwind courtship is over?

Oh, I'm sorry I had to seem
so forward before.

I just wanted
to throw them off the track.

My eye problems are
nobody else's business.

Well, I must admit
I was very flattered,

but, uh, I was
even more petrified.

[laughs]
All's well that ends well.

-Oh, it's great to know
my eyes are still 20/20.
-I never said that.

In fact, one of these days,
you may need glasses.

But that's only natural.

Oh.

MAN [on P.A.]:
Attention, all personnel.

We've got wounded in triage.

I think you're being paged.

Thanks.

She's at it again.

All civilians, Colonel.
Their village was mortared.

-What's this?
-Leg wound.

You know,
every once in a while,

I get the idea that war
is not a nice thing.

But then it passes,
and I'm my normal,
depressed self again.

KELLYE:
Hawkeye, over here.

Oh, God.

-How's he doing?
-Okay. Just cuts and bruises.

I've come home from dates
in worse shape than you.

Considering the rough
neighborhood you live in,

you're pretty lucky.

I do not feel lucky.
Every time we move,

soldiers come
and destroy all we have.

Are your grandparents
okay?

I do not know.

When we hear soldiers
are coming,

family moves farther south.

I stay to save my land.

But I could not.

-What are you gonna do?
-I do not know.

Well, for now,
how about some rest, okay?

Okay.

-[sighs] Some life, huh?
-Mm.

With a little luck,
he could have it as good
as Oliver Twist.

To top it off, we've
got more wounded coming.
He can't stay here.

♪♪ [classical]

Here we go. Right this way.

Here it is. Nice, huh?

Gentlemen, I do not know
what is going on here,

but I do know
that I do not like it.

Oh, excuse us, Charles.

Want you to meet your
new roomie, roomie.

Let me show you
the north wing.

-Right here.
-Oh, my God.

Gentlemen,
may I speak with you

for just the briefest
of moments?

In the master suite.
Excuse us.

-Something wrong, Charles?
-Ah, not for long.

May I remind you
with overmuch emphasis

that I am one-third owner
of this wretched domicile

and its ranking resident.

I absolutely forbid you
to use my quarters as
the Ouijongbu "Y."

Oh, come on, Charles.
Open your heart and dust it.

Park Sung has no place to go.

It's only for a few days

until he figures out
what to do.

You don't understand.
I'm a doctor!

I'm not a social worker.

This could set a most
unpleasant precedent

and I have little enough
privacy as it is.

-[springs squeaking]
-This is number one bed.

You are all my best friends.

Dr. Hawkeye,

Dr. B.J.

What is your name, sir?

Dr. Charles Emerson
Winchester III.

Thank you to let me
stay, Dr. Third.

Uh, yeah, you don't understand.
See, they had no right--

I will work for you.
Make beds, sweep.

I will be like houseboy.

-Houseboy, eh?
-I will do everything.

Even plant garden to make
number one fresh food.

Oh, you must be
the keeper of the coleslaw.

Gentlemen, perhaps
I've been a bit,

uh, rash in my decision.

The boy is willing to work,

and he's obviously
down on his luck.

I'm filled with compassion.

And soon with
fresh vegetables.

Oh, no. Nothing...
Nothing strenuous.

Perhaps you could start
with the boots here.

That's our Dr. Third.

BOTH: "Most important

"is to properly
condition the soil

providing moisture
and fertilizer."

Fertilizer? What is that?

Well, you know, it's...
it's, uh, fertilizer.

Good for the soil.

[blows raspberry]
Bad for the nose.

-Ahh, fertilizer.
-That's it.

Congratulations.
You both passed
the reading test.

And Colonel, you passed
the diplomacy test.

I can see to read very good.
I can go now?

Dr. Hawkeye, Dr. B.J.
help me make garden.

-I must check up.
-Good idea.

When you hire people by the
hour, you gotta watch 'em.

There's only one person

I'd do this much
work for-- me.

Yeah, well, at least
the fruits of our labors

will be fresh vegetables.

Howdy, rubes.

Nothing like a relaxing
day in the sun, eh?

Uh, perseverance, boys.

Don't let that victory garden
defeat you.

Oh, fellas,
I'll see you later.

-Please, please, you do wrong.
-What? Huh?

Must condition with moisture,
then fertilize.

Oh, look who's creeping
into Margaret's tent.

-Oh!
-Hey, Margaret.

Long time no see.

Don't ever say that
to an optometrist.

[laughs] So sit down.
Have a cup of tea.

Ah, fine. I'm leaving
again in the morning.

-Ah.
-I want to make sure
those drops are helping.

Oh, they are. They are.

My eyes are
clearing up already.

-I'd better take a peek.
-[groans]

Come on.

-Ah, much, much better.
-See?

You'll be fine in
a couple more days.
Good as new.

Oh, well, I doubt that.

What do you mean?

Well, unless my
memory is also failing,

it seems to me you told me
one day I would need glasses.

All I said was that
your vision isn't 20/20.

But it's nothing
to worry about.

It's not the end
of the world. Is it?

Well, it means
that I'm changing

and not for the better.

Margaret, there are kids
who need glasses.

But I'm no kid.

Well, who is?
Who wants to be?

I mean, even with
your imperfect eyes,

I'll bet you see life
a lot more clearly

than you did when you
were a teenager.

Oh, well, I sure hope so.

You know, you don't get
to be a high-ranking officer

to run an O.R.,
to command respect

unless you've earned it.

And that doesn't
happen overnight.

You've got a lot to show
for your life so far.

I think you should
feel pretty good about it.

Well, you know,
you're right. I do.

Of course you do.
And besides, Major,

even if you don't see
like a kid anymore,

as far as I'm concerned,
you still look like one.

Oh, Bud, you're
a very nice man.

[laughs]
It's my only fault.

You're not drinking your tea.

Well, actually,
tea's not my cup of tea.

Perfect.
After dinner,

we'll make Hunnicutt
and Pierce really crazy,

and we'll go
to the Officers Club

and have a drink.
I'll buy.

-♪♪ [jazz]
-[Margaret laughing]

Hmm.

-Excuse me.
-Margaret,

you gotta settle a bet
between me and B.J.

-Oh?
-He says

there's nothing going on
between you and Bud.

On the other hand, I say

there's nothing going on
between you and Bud.

So come on.
Which of us is right?

That is my personal affair.

-Oh-ho!
-Business. I mean business.

And I intend
to keep it that way.

You sure saw me coming.

Ah, next time
I'll know better.

Uh, if you fellas
will excuse me,

-I'm gonna turn in.
-You must be exhausted.

I'll say my goodbyes
in the morning.

It's awfully dark
out there, Bud.

Why don't I walk
you to your tent?

-I'd be delighted.
-Why are you taking
the pretzels?

Because...I don't smoke.

-Double or nothing.
-You got it.

And I really must say
how impressed I was

by the compassion you've shown

in letting that poor boy
stay with you.

Well, one does what one can.
Cognac for me, please.

Uh, beer for me, please.

In a world in which
most people are incapable

of seeing beyond
their own self-interest,

you, Major, showed yourself
a true humanitarian.

-[chuckles]
-My goodness,

your boots certainly
are shiny tonight.

[nervous laughing] Ah,
it's the way the light's,
uh, hitting them.

Oh, it's Colonel Potter.
Join us, will you,
Colonel, please?

Be glad to. Klinger, boys,
come on over here.

-The drinks are on me.
-[all cheering]

Klinger, now that
I've got my specs,

I'm officially no
longer angry at you.

Don't worry, sir.

You treated me
better than I deserved.

You're a prince
among colonels.

Well, I learned
my lesson with Radar.

When I first got here,
the boy broke
my trusty pocket watch.

I chewed him out
something fierce.

Poor fellow felt so bad,
he ran into my office

every 15 minutes
to tell me the time.

Almost drove me cuckoo.

Especially at 4:00
in the morning.

-[laughing]
-He was quite a guy.

I sure miss him.

Yeah, I realized that too
after we got that letter.

I can almost
see Radar now,

with those
Coke-bottle glasses,

drinking his grape Nehi.

It's enough to make you want
to cry in your root beer.

Walter O'Reilly,
decent, gentle,

innocent as a lamb,
twice as cuddly.

Actually, you know, I never
thought I'd miss old Radar.

I was right, of course.

Oh, pipe down, snooty face.
He was terrific.

Wait a minute. Why are we
all sitting here

talking about Radar
in the past?

Because in the present,
he's 10,000-odd miles away.

Yeah, but right now he's
alive and wealthy in Iowa.

I move we all move over
to Colonel Potter's office

and make a person-to-person
phone call.

Or a person-to-little-person
phone call.

-What time is it in Iowa?
-1882.

Hello? Who is this?

-The operator in Ottumwa, Iowa?
-Ottumwa!

-[all shouting]
-Hello? Hello?

How's the weather
back there these days?

Give me that squawker.
How do, ma'am?

I'm calling from Korea.

Yes, modern technology
is wonderful.

Now then, I'm trying to get
a hold of one Walter O'Reilly.

[chuckles]
Right, Edna's boy.

-Appreciate it. She's ringing.
-Oh, good...

Don't get your jodhpurs
in an uproar.

I'll let all of you
have a word with the boy.

Do you think he has
a chauffeur-driven tractor?

Hello, Radar,
you old son of a gun!

I'd recognize
your voice anywhere.

Oh, Mrs. O'Reilly.

-[laughing]
-This is Colonel Potter,

Radar-- uh, Walter's
old boss in Korea.

Yes, ma'am, technology's
just terrific.

So tell me,

could I speak to him?

Oh, he ain't?

Oh, sure.
I should've known

he'd be hard at work
out in the fields.

[laughs]

Really? I see.

What is it?

Uh-huh.
Sure, I understand.

Well, you tell him
we all send him our love,

and I hope everything
works out okay.

Hope what works out okay?

Well, it seems
Radar was exaggerating
a mite in his letter.

He was embarrassed to say

that things aren't goin'
all that good for him.

Matter of fact,
they're real rough.

What's the matter?

Crops are bad, and they
can't afford help.

Damn.

Had to take an evening job

in the general store
to pay the mortgage.

That's after workin'
all day on the farm.

-Poor Radar.
-What a shame.

Considering what
dire straits he's in,

why don't we, uh,
lend him some money?

No, he'd never accept it.

Park Sung! What are you
doing up so late?

Bugs, he is sick.

I stay, try to help,
but he need real doctor.

Here, let me have
a look at him.

Why everyone look so sad?

It's a long story.

A friend of ours
is having a problem...

Aha! The strangest thought
just crossed my mind.

You're not thinking what
I think you're thinking?

-I think I'm thinking it too.
-Aha! Aha!

What's all the aha-ing?

Radar needs help

but can't afford
to pay for it.

Park Sung is a farming whiz

and needs a place
to live and learn.

-Aha!
-All we'd have to do

is get Radar to sponsor him.

Come to think of it,

even I would be happier
in Iowa than here.

Park Sung,
how would you like

to live on a farm
in the States?

And you could
go to school.

There is no war there?

Just land and animals.

And a terrific boss

who's just about your size.

That is best number A one.

-Klinger?
-I'm ringing Ottumwa
already, sir.

And Bugs...
He will be all right?

He'll be just fine, and he'll
have plenty of company.

Bugs is gonna be a mother.

[all laughing]

♪ For he's a jolly
good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly
good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly
good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny

Speech! Speech!

Speech! Speech!

I do not know what to say.

Except thank you.
Thank you all.

-That's perfect.
-[Mulcahy laughs]

Now then, Park Sung,

before we cut
the coleslaw cake,

we've got a little aloha
present for you.

-Hunnicutt, Pierce.
-Park Sung, you are
about to journey

to the land of the free

and the home of
the Boston Braves.

So we've provided you with
a few necessities, such as...

A Korean/American dictionary,

in case you want to have
words with someone.

-[all laughing]
-Also a pair of work boots.

In farm country,
always remember to look
before you step.

And last but least,
what every farmer needs,

besides a daughter...
a straw hat!

[all cheering]

Now you can bale hay
while the sun shines.

-[laughs]
-This is... How you say?

-Terrific.
-[all laughing]

♪♪ [theme]

♪♪ [theme]