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1
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It is not true, although culture claims the opposite,
2
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that the only purpose of sex is procreation.
3
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It also serves to give pleasure.
4
00:00:23,965 --> 00:00:26,718
And nature, which is wiser than culture,
5
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in order to encourage people to procreate,
6
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has linked this duty to sexual pleasure.
7
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Without it, it is practically impossible to fulfil the first.
8
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TINTO BRASS Presents
9
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THE LADYBIRD
10
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The towel is the blue one, do you remember?
11
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Yes, yes, thank you.
12
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Take your time, as if you were at your place.
13
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If you need anyihing, just call me.
14
00:02:14,005 --> 00:02:15,882
No, thank you.
15
00:02:20,365 --> 00:02:22,003
If only I'd thought about it.
16
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I should have left a girlie magazine in the bathroom.
17
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,917
Well, maybe I'll find one... Let's see.
18
00:02:32,765 --> 00:02:37,839
What do I have here - Bella, Tutto Uncinetto, I don't think so.
19
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What about this one, "lo Vorrei Essere Lé" by Giandomenico Curi. No.
20
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Mani Di Fata... Well, maybe Amica.
21
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Would a magazine like Amica help?
22
00:02:55,085 --> 00:02:57,042
Amica? What is it?
23
00:02:58,125 --> 00:03:00,639
No, thank you.
24
00:03:07,085 --> 00:03:12,080
Fair enough. What would he do with a magazine like that?
25
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Although it contains some nice advens of women in underwear.
26
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Let's have a look.
27
00:03:34,365 --> 00:03:36,641
I can't do it like that.
28
00:03:40,205 --> 00:03:42,435
I can't do it like that.
29
00:03:50,725 --> 00:03:53,797
Well, is there anyihing else I can do?
30
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:58,834
- I don't think so. - Sorry for asking such a stupid thing.
31
00:04:00,725 --> 00:04:02,796
- May I? - Please.
32
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,317
They made it grey.
33
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But why? Tell me that.
34
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I wouldn't know.
35
00:04:21,885 --> 00:04:24,764
- You see, madam... - Call me Livia.
36
00:04:24,845 --> 00:04:28,201
Well, Livia, you see, I am a painter.
37
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I'm not famous. ljust get by.
38
00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:35,396
But for me, colours are everyihing. Colours are life.
39
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I live by colours. Every situation has its colour.
40
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This grey gets me down. That's it.
41
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I'm sorry.
42
00:04:44,925 --> 00:04:49,920
Who says a sperm container should not be coloured?
43
00:04:50,005 --> 00:04:53,635
Why can't they be red, pink, fuchsia?
44
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Fuchsia would be perfect.
45
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,202
You might be right.
46
00:04:58,285 --> 00:05:01,915
- The shape could be different. - Sorry?
47
00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:07,034
Well, because of its use, it could have a shape a little bit more...
48
00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:11,403
- Let's not exaggerate. - No, I meant something more appropriate.
49
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:16,002
Let's face it, it looks like a rubbish bin.
50
00:05:16,085 --> 00:05:22,081
In miniature. Sorry, it was a stupid thing to say. I didn't mean it.
51
00:05:27,005 --> 00:05:30,396
Look, your husband hasn't arrived yet.
52
00:05:31,525 --> 00:05:34,244
Maybe I'll give it another try.
53
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:40,240
It's impossible.
54
00:05:41,685 --> 00:05:46,441
I was happy to accept your husband's invitation to visit you,
55
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to chat, have a drink together.
56
00:05:48,725 --> 00:05:54,676
But I had no idea I would have to do this "thing" here, in your house.
57
00:05:56,805 --> 00:05:58,762
- What if we paint it? - Paint what?
58
00:05:58,845 --> 00:06:02,361
- Well, this, of course. - Paint the container?
59
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,914
- It might help you. - Come off it.
60
00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:07,724
You said that everyihing has its colour.
61
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I was referring to paintings, not little dustbins.
62
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:14,514
- You said grey gets you down. - I was speaking figuratively.
63
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Imagine ifl paint this thing hoping that somehowmmaybe...
64
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I feel stupid.
65
00:06:21,565 --> 00:06:25,160
Come on, lighten up. Just do it for fun.
66
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I should have a paintbox, I bought it for my niece but she left it here.
67
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:32,480
I guess she's not into painting.
68
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Here, they're new.
69
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Now express yourself, choose a colour - red, pink, fuchsia, polka dots.
70
00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:45,801
- Do you like green? - Yes, but you are the one who has to...
71
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Bright green is perfect.
72
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:51,037
Why don't you draw a lush green landscape?
73
00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:53,639
- Why don't I put Santa in as well? - Hey!
74
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Just kidding. But why not, if you like it?
75
00:06:56,725 --> 00:07:01,037
Draw a ladybird, or rather two.
76
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- Ladybirds? - They're aphrodisiac.
77
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- Ladybirds? - Yes.
78
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I didn't know either. I read it somewhere, I don't remember now.
79
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They must have done some experiments, some tests.
80
00:07:13,085 --> 00:07:15,759
- Here! - You don't like green?
81
00:07:15,845 --> 00:07:19,122
- I don't like the whole idea. - Did I offend...
82
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:22,357
Well, yes. You think that ladybirds can turn me on?
83
00:07:22,445 --> 00:07:25,039
- Why not? - Excuse me,
84
00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:28,880
but I didn't imagined myself in the bathroom looking at ladybirds.
85
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:31,764
Your husband went to get a Cuba libre and disappeared.
86
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I've had enough. I don't understand anyihing any more.
87
00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:37,319
I don't need a Cuba libre and I don't need ladybirds!
88
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Then you tell me what you want!
89
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:44,363
I don't know, a ceflain ambience, a ceflain kind of music.
90
00:08:03,805 --> 00:08:06,524
I was hoping not to use it.
91
00:08:06,605 --> 00:08:09,723
- Will this work? - It always has.
92
00:08:09,805 --> 00:08:11,921
Shall I put the stereo in the bathroom?
93
00:08:12,005 --> 00:08:14,076
No, just turn the volume up.
94
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,122
Can I stafl the music?
95
00:09:03,205 --> 00:09:05,162
Just a moment.
96
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,354
OK, play it.
97
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B! Side B!
98
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Side B. Oh, no!
99
00:09:26,885 --> 00:09:29,195
GYPSY WOMEN
100
00:10:19,925 --> 00:10:21,882
ls it working?
101
00:10:26,485 --> 00:10:28,442
Is it working?
102
00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:31,765
Are you getting anywhere?
103
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If you'd help me, instead of asking questions.
104
00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:41,084
Do you want me to turn the volume up?
105
00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:45,238
Why don't you try to move like Kim Basinger?
106
00:10:46,165 --> 00:10:48,884
Well, then I have to be in the kitchen.
107
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:51,718
No, it's fine where you are.
108
00:10:51,805 --> 00:10:54,081
I'll look through the keyhole.
109
00:11:38,405 --> 00:11:40,396
How's it going?
110
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Ah, my husband.
111
00:12:06,365 --> 00:12:09,084
Sorry for interrupting your pafly, miss.
112
00:12:09,165 --> 00:12:13,159
We wanted to leave you a copy of our publication, The Tower Of Jesus.
113
00:12:13,245 --> 00:12:15,202
We are Jehovah's Witnesses.
114
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I'm sorry, but I'm busy, and I can't waste my time.
115
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,595
We'll come back when she's less busy.
116
00:12:22,685 --> 00:12:26,644
She seemed a bit aroused. Let's go downstairs.
117
00:12:34,645 --> 00:12:37,319
So, is everyihing all right?
118
00:12:37,405 --> 00:12:40,602
You made it. White smoke signal.
119
00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:42,524
No.
120
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Then I turn the music off.
121
00:12:47,765 --> 00:12:50,120
Yes, I think so.
122
00:13:00,005 --> 00:13:03,521
- And now what do we do? - When I draw...
123
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What happens?
124
00:13:05,765 --> 00:13:10,760
I get aroused. It's a different kind of excitement, an artistic excitement.
125
00:13:10,845 --> 00:13:14,042
Why didn't you tell me before? Come on, draw.
126
00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:16,594
- It was just an example. - Well, if it works...
127
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- I didn't... - Let's not waste time. You never know.
128
00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:23,001
I can't guarantee anyihing. I'm not a sperm expert
129
00:13:23,085 --> 00:13:26,715
That's obvious, otherwise you wouldn't need all this help.
130
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:30,799
I don't need any help. Normally I have great...
131
00:13:40,005 --> 00:13:44,363
I perfectly understand. ltold my husband it wasn't a good idea.
132
00:13:44,445 --> 00:13:48,404
It's not so easy to let yourself go in front of a stranger.
133
00:13:48,485 --> 00:13:52,922
And to be honest, to meet my sperm donor personally,
134
00:13:53,005 --> 00:13:55,042
well, it embarrassed me a little...
135
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,594
even ifl seem relaxed.
136
00:14:35,605 --> 00:14:39,803
I'm almost there. I don't want to tempt fate,
137
00:14:39,885 --> 00:14:42,001
but I think I'll give it a try.
138
00:14:44,685 --> 00:14:47,564
- The container! - Thanks.
139
00:14:47,645 --> 00:14:50,114
- Good luck. - Thank you!
140
00:15:03,405 --> 00:15:06,158
So? ls it a white smoke signal?
141
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:12,082
No, black.
142
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:29,275
I can't believe it. There must be a way!
143
00:15:29,365 --> 00:15:34,075
- I don't know what else to do. - There must be a way to make you co...
144
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:36,884
to fill up the container.
145
00:15:38,485 --> 00:15:41,443
- Veronique. - ls she your girlfriend?
146
00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:44,119
No, but she could make it happen.
147
00:15:44,205 --> 00:15:46,196
Sorry, I don't follow.
148
00:15:46,285 --> 00:15:49,437
- She is a 166. - A166.
149
00:15:49,525 --> 00:15:54,395
You mean a chatline girl. Brilliant idea. Why didn't you tell me before? Call her.
150
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:56,920
I can't. She doesn't stafl till midnight.
151
00:15:59,685 --> 00:16:02,245
What ifl give it a go?
152
00:16:03,325 --> 00:16:06,522
You? But do you know how to do it?
153
00:16:06,605 --> 00:16:10,678
Well, I learnt one or two tricks from the TV. Here.
154
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:14,957
Follow me.
155
00:16:33,725 --> 00:16:37,036
Hello, what's your name?
156
00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:39,321
My name is llario.
157
00:16:39,405 --> 00:16:44,320
At last, I missed you so much. Where are you?
158
00:16:45,725 --> 00:16:47,875
I can't tell you.
159
00:16:48,845 --> 00:16:51,564
Are you ready for another wild night?
160
00:16:54,605 --> 00:16:56,915
Are you holding it?
161
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:04,036
Let me guide you. I'll take care of everylhing. You just relax.
162
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:06,241
I'll do everyihing.
163
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:11,035
Close your eyes. Relax. Just think of me.
164
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:16,677
I am completely naked on this huge bed. And I'll make you fly.
165
00:17:23,405 --> 00:17:26,523
It's a real pity you're not here with me.
166
00:17:26,605 --> 00:17:32,317
I'm wearing a pair of stockings which I'm sure you'd like.
167
00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:36,636
Let me hear your voice, come on.
168
00:17:36,725 --> 00:17:39,763
Come on, naughty boy, are you touching yourself?
169
00:17:39,845 --> 00:17:42,644
I know you are.
170
00:17:42,725 --> 00:17:46,195
Tell me where you are. Where are you?
171
00:17:54,165 --> 00:17:55,519
I'm here.
172
00:17:58,605 --> 00:18:00,721
Well?
173
00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:02,762
I can't.
174
00:18:41,845 --> 00:18:43,802
Never mind.
175
00:18:43,885 --> 00:18:46,843
Itold my husband it wouldn't work.
176
00:18:55,605 --> 00:18:57,835
Maybe it's my fault too.
177
00:18:59,965 --> 00:19:02,195
No, it is not your fault.
178
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:35,560
So much has happened today. It's been hell.
179
00:19:36,285 --> 00:19:41,314
It's like having a switch going on and off,
180
00:19:41,405 --> 00:19:44,443
on and off.
181
00:19:44,525 --> 00:19:47,119
Ijust hope it doesn't go haywire.
182
00:19:49,005 --> 00:19:50,803
Here we go again.
183
00:19:51,885 --> 00:19:53,842
It's switching on.
184
00:19:53,925 --> 00:19:55,996
I don't know what to do.
185
00:19:57,605 --> 00:20:00,358
I'm scared. Help me.
186
00:20:03,565 --> 00:20:06,125
Do it there. Do it on the armchair.
187
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,799
- How? - You said the bathroom depresses you.
188
00:20:08,885 --> 00:20:13,482
- I can't do it in front of you. - I won't look. Just go for it.
189
00:20:20,405 --> 00:20:23,796
You are crazy and I am even crazier.
190
00:20:23,885 --> 00:20:26,035
Don't lose concentration.
191
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,957
I'm not!
192
00:20:29,045 --> 00:20:31,844
- I can't do it. ljust can't. - Let me do it.
193
00:20:31,925 --> 00:20:33,916
- What are you doing? - War is war.
194
00:20:34,005 --> 00:20:38,317
- What if your husband comes back? - He's in Cuba. It's a matter of principle.
195
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:41,443
- Can I get the container? - Please.
196
00:20:41,525 --> 00:20:43,675
Was it so difficult?
197
00:20:46,325 --> 00:20:48,362
- It fell down. - I can see it.
198
00:20:48,445 --> 00:20:51,244
- Follow me. - Do you think it's a switch?
199
00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:54,238
Just follow me. Don't lose concentration.
200
00:20:54,325 --> 00:20:57,044
- I'm not. - Yes, you are, I can tell.
201
00:20:57,125 --> 00:21:00,481
I can't open it. I need my strength down there.
202
00:21:01,925 --> 00:21:05,316
- Here we are. - Yes, but down here you are not ready.
203
00:21:06,685 --> 00:21:09,245
- What are you doing? - I'm helping myself.
204
00:21:09,325 --> 00:21:12,443
- You hold the container. - OK.
205
00:21:13,525 --> 00:21:15,755
- It fell again. - I can see it.
206
00:21:15,845 --> 00:21:18,564
- Will you pick it up? - Yes. Excuse me.
207
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,763
Here we go. Careful. Now!
208
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:22,243
Come on. We are almost there.
209
00:21:23,965 --> 00:21:27,276
- Yes, I can feel it. - Come on, come on!
15857
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