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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,390 --> 00:00:07,967 And now, back to VH1's 2 00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:09,802 Salute to Singers from the '90s. 3 00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:11,393 Today's installment, 4 00:00:11,462 --> 00:00:14,691 "Why they all needed to turn every vowel into the letter 'A.'" 5 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:17,749 ♪ It used to bay 6 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:20,919 ♪ That you loved may 7 00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:25,590 ♪ But now it's nineteen-ninetay 8 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,326 ♪ And I have to set 9 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:31,263 ♪ you fray 10 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:34,500 ♪ Fray 11 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,768 ♪ The letter A The A, the A 12 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:41,373 ♪ The letter A ♪ 13 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,741 Thank yay! 14 00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,961 Oh, no! Not again! 15 00:00:47,030 --> 00:00:48,764 We're about to do Jedi, aren't we? 16 00:00:48,832 --> 00:00:50,599 Let's just get through this. 17 00:03:25,322 --> 00:03:28,273 Inform the commander that Lord Vader's shuttle has arrived. 18 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:31,376 And also, we're missing a bunch of snow shovels from the storeroom. 19 00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:32,905 Does anyone know anything about that? 20 00:03:32,929 --> 00:03:35,458 Uh... Snow shovels? No. Haven't seen any. No. 21 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:38,122 Haven't heard about it. No idea. No. 22 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:58,654 Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! 23 00:03:58,722 --> 00:04:01,256 I just... I don't understand why... 24 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,591 I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, 25 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,694 and we still have to change in Atlanta. 26 00:04:05,763 --> 00:04:07,473 Hi, Darth. You got any bags, 27 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,676 or did you leave Mrs. Vader at home? 28 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:12,333 It's you? Are we already out of our own characters? 29 00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:14,047 What? How's the construction going? 30 00:04:14,071 --> 00:04:15,336 Oh, fantabulously. 31 00:04:15,405 --> 00:04:17,567 Remember how last time they skimmed along a trench 32 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,502 and then blew it up by shooting through a hole? 33 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,237 Yeah. Well, now there's no trench. 34 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,694 Great. Is there a hole? 35 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,975 Yes. What? 36 00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:26,876 There is. Well, if I were you, I'd repair that hole 37 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,250 before the Emperor arrives. 38 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,413 The Emperor is coming here? 39 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,986 Yeah. He loves this place. 40 00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:34,767 I was there when he came up with the idea for the Death Star. 41 00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:36,174 Hey... Hey, Darth? Darth? 42 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,592 Yeah? What? 43 00:04:39,296 --> 00:04:41,196 That. That's what. 44 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,065 What? It's a circle. 45 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,511 It's a good circle, I'll give you that. 46 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,334 No. No, no. Space station. 47 00:04:46,403 --> 00:04:47,443 What? 48 00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:48,848 - Yep. - What? 49 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,517 Yep, it is. No way! 50 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,073 It is. It is, big time. 51 00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:05,799 You sure this is where we'll find Captain Solo? 52 00:05:05,823 --> 00:05:07,272 Yep, this is it. 53 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,719 Corner of Tatooine Way and Martin Luther King Boulevard. 54 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,437 Hi, Artoo! You wanna come play? 55 00:05:11,461 --> 00:05:12,494 Sure! 56 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,896 ♪ Here I am on Tatooine 57 00:05:14,965 --> 00:05:17,365 ♪ Jumping Double Dutch like you never seen 58 00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,701 ♪ I know my way around a rope 59 00:05:19,769 --> 00:05:22,569 - ♪ Help me, Obi-Wan - You're my only hope ♪ 60 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:25,924 Yes? 61 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,537 Hi, we have a message for Jabba the... 62 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,162 No, Mister Jabba no home. 63 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,563 Oh. 64 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:34,632 Can we leave it with someone, because... No, no. 65 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,814 Hey, look! Jabba's cat escaped! 66 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,816 I sure hope he doesn't blame the help! 67 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:43,791 Kitty! Kitty! Kitty, kitty, kitty! Kitty! 68 00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:57,856 Oh, my God! 69 00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,340 Alec Baldwin? 70 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,711 Wow. There are all kind of manner 71 00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:05,280 of crazy monsters in here. 72 00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:07,994 Yeah, and they added even more for the special edition. 73 00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:10,635 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 74 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,823 Artoo, play him the message. 75 00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:18,510 Greetings, exalted one. It's me, Luke Skywalker. 76 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,490 I seek an audience with Your Slimness 77 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,514 to bargain for Captain Solo's life. 78 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:27,085 As a token of my good will, I present to you a gift, these two droids. 79 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,881 Wait a minute, does he have the right to give us away? 80 00:06:28,905 --> 00:06:30,856 He just stole us from his dead uncle. 81 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,937 Triple-dog-dare. 82 00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:59,400 Kid's tongue stuck to a ass. 83 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,839 Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty... 84 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,023 Sorry! 85 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,225 Sorry. Been building up for a while. 86 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,806 Sorry. 87 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,396 I'm sorry. 88 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,098 I'm so sorry about this. 89 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,634 Sorry. There we are. 90 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,338 I can't see! 91 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,573 Just relax. 92 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,682 You have hibernation sickness, 93 00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,645 but your eyesight will return in time. 94 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:01,813 Where am I? 95 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,264 Jabba's palace. 96 00:08:03,332 --> 00:08:05,050 Who are you? 97 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,818 Someone who loves you. 98 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,437 Whoa! You are smothering me, and I need my space. 99 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,592 Wait a minute, who's that? I know that laugh. 100 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,761 It's the 7Up guy! 101 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,014 It's not the 7Up guy. 102 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,316 Yeah, it is. 103 00:08:21,385 --> 00:08:24,719 Hey, say, "Crisp and clean, no caffeine." 104 00:08:28,691 --> 00:08:30,075 Han? What are you doing here? 105 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,609 Chewie? Is that you? 106 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,273 Yeah, it's me. I got caught eating out of Jabba's trash. 107 00:08:34,297 --> 00:08:35,591 Well, I guess the good news is 108 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:38,093 we're not being pushed into a giant anus in the desert. 109 00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:39,862 What's wrong with your eyes? I'm blind. 110 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,831 It's part of the hibernation sickness. That and these lesions, 111 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,501 and the fatigue that I've been feeling, and the persistent cough. 112 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,428 You might, uh... You might have two things. 113 00:09:04,661 --> 00:09:06,244 How did he get in? 114 00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:08,730 I let him in. What, was that not cool? 115 00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,033 Nice to see you, Jabba. 116 00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:20,208 Um... Leia, wow. 117 00:09:20,276 --> 00:09:22,210 I didn't get raped. Okay? 118 00:09:22,278 --> 00:09:23,356 Okay. 119 00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,340 Okay? Okay! 120 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:31,297 I'm here to bargain for Han Solo and the rest of my friends. 121 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,453 What's your price? 122 00:09:32,522 --> 00:09:33,866 Master Luke, be careful! You're standing on... 123 00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:35,384 Threepio, please. Whatever you have to say 124 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,204 cannot possibly be as important as this conversation. 125 00:09:38,228 --> 00:09:39,455 But you're standing on a trap door, 126 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:40,572 and if Jabba pushes the button... 127 00:09:40,596 --> 00:09:42,375 Threepio, what did I just say? 128 00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:44,026 But there's a trap door right under your feet! 129 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,328 There's a huge monster down there, and if Jabba hits the button, 130 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:47,529 the trap door's gonna open, 131 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,165 you're gonna fall down into the dungeon below 132 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,265 and get eaten by the monster! 133 00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:52,357 Threepio, please! We're talking! 134 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,433 Oh, my God! 135 00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,302 Rush Limbaugh! 136 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,387 Limbaugh Rule Number One, 137 00:10:06,455 --> 00:10:09,224 no tax-dodging Jedis in my pit! 138 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:12,227 Religion is tax-exempt! Jedi is a religion! 139 00:10:33,683 --> 00:10:35,200 Oh, Luke! 140 00:10:35,252 --> 00:10:37,730 Did you want me to throw you your lightsaber? 141 00:10:37,754 --> 00:10:39,971 Yeah, about 10 minutes ago! 142 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,991 Just so you know, the compartment I keep your lightsaber in is my rectum. 143 00:10:52,169 --> 00:10:56,237 The mighty Jabba has decreed that you are to be thrown into the Sarlacc pit. 144 00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:59,524 There, you will discover a new meaning of pain and suffering 145 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:03,411 as you are slowly digested over 1,000 years. 146 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,417 No sweat. I'm bringing a box of All-Bran. 147 00:11:05,448 --> 00:11:07,593 I'll be sprayed all over the desert in a week. 148 00:11:07,617 --> 00:11:10,751 Right? Big lips on a stick knows what I'm talking about. 149 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,269 Ha! Fiber! 150 00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,546 Still alive! 151 00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:28,603 What's going on? 152 00:11:28,672 --> 00:11:30,333 We just got to the Sarlacc pit. 153 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,422 What's that? 154 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,369 It's this disgusting, horrible creature 155 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,739 that's worse than anything you could ever imagine. 156 00:11:39,215 --> 00:11:41,727 Victims of the almighty Sarlacc! 157 00:11:41,751 --> 00:11:44,619 His Excellency hopes that you will die honorably. 158 00:11:44,687 --> 00:11:47,082 But, should any of you wish to beg for mercy, 159 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:50,175 the great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pleas. 160 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,511 Please don't kill us! We won't do it again, honest! 161 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:56,540 We'll be good, mister! We was just fooling around, is all! 162 00:11:57,516 --> 00:12:00,251 Jabba! This is your last chance! 163 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,403 Free us or die! 164 00:13:15,445 --> 00:13:17,211 Well? 165 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,713 We're waiting. 166 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,102 No! 167 00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:54,177 Han, look out! Boba Fett is right behind you! 168 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,321 All right, when I give the signal, we get him! 169 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,987 What happened? He fell. 170 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,057 Huh? He fell. Fell in the pit. 171 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,092 Oh! Good. 172 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,193 Yeah. 173 00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:50,332 Wait a minute! What are you doing? I thought you were blind! 174 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:51,372 I am! 175 00:14:51,441 --> 00:14:52,473 It's okay, though. 176 00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:54,302 Just hang on! 177 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:03,317 Gotcha! 178 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,117 You want some laser hair removal, while I'm at it? 179 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,141 No, thanks. You sure? 180 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,076 Come on, we gotta get out of here! 181 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:54,301 Hello? 182 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,470 Okay, so I'm going to the Dagobah system... 183 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,738 You gotta speak up. 184 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,024 I'm going to the Dagobah system! 185 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,342 I still can't hear you. 186 00:16:01,411 --> 00:16:03,243 I said I'm going... 187 00:16:03,312 --> 00:16:05,196 It's a machine! I got you! 188 00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:09,612 You've reached Han Solo. Please leave a message after the blorp. 189 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,766 Hey, we got any of those Chips Ahoy! left? 190 00:16:13,790 --> 00:16:15,540 No, those are all gone. 191 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,781 Well, now nobody gets them. 192 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:04,138 - Sorry! Sorry! - Sorry! Sorry! 193 00:17:12,882 --> 00:17:15,232 Emperor! Great to see you! 194 00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,702 Hey, this is Jeremy. He's from... 195 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,515 You know, he's from the program, and he wants to meet you. 196 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:24,041 Well, hey, Jeremy! How do you like the Death Star so far? 197 00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,387 Good. Awesome! 198 00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:27,489 You gotta come back next year, when it's done. 199 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:30,798 Oh... Okay, we're gonna move on now. 200 00:17:30,867 --> 00:17:33,178 If you ever do that to me again, I swear to God... 201 00:17:33,202 --> 00:17:34,980 I know! I know! Nobody told me. 202 00:17:35,004 --> 00:17:37,249 They kind of just dropped him on me at the last minute. 203 00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:38,639 I couldn't say no, man. 204 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,119 So, I think you'll be happy. 205 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,738 The Death Star's going to be completed on schedule. 206 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:43,795 Excellent. 207 00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,473 There is one thing, though, 208 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:48,243 and I'm sorry about this, but your room's not ready till 4:00. 209 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,667 So feel free to use our business center, 210 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,052 or enjoy the pool. 211 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,708 Stop it. Knock it off. 212 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,495 Cut it out. Stop it! 213 00:18:02,732 --> 00:18:04,331 I deserve to relax, too. 214 00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:16,177 Master Yoda, I've come back to complete the training. 215 00:18:16,245 --> 00:18:18,396 Oh, you're done. There's no more training. 216 00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:19,980 Then I am a Jedi. 217 00:18:20,049 --> 00:18:23,100 No, not yet. First you have to confront Vader. 218 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:26,737 Master Yoda, is Darth Vader my father? 219 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:30,023 Yeah, it's either Darth Vader or Paul Reiser, 220 00:18:30,092 --> 00:18:32,572 but they don't want to know which one is your real father, 221 00:18:32,628 --> 00:18:34,445 so they're gonna raise you together. 222 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,813 Oh, my God! 223 00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,698 Yeah, and I got some more bad news. 224 00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:39,900 I'm getting really old and I'm not feeling so hot, 225 00:18:39,968 --> 00:18:41,735 and I think I might die soon. 226 00:18:43,139 --> 00:18:44,188 Luke. 227 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,422 Yeah? 228 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:49,276 Do not underestimate the powers of the Emperor. 229 00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:52,363 Luke. Uh-huh. 230 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:57,051 When gone am I, the last of the Jedi will you be. 231 00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:58,919 Luke. 232 00:18:58,988 --> 00:19:00,120 Right here. 233 00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:03,156 The Force runs strong in your family. 234 00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:05,343 Luke! 235 00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,493 Haven't gone anywhere. 236 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,980 Don't turn to the dark side. 237 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,632 Luke. What's up? 238 00:19:11,701 --> 00:19:14,185 You fought Vader too soon. 239 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,170 Luke! 240 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,454 Four inches away. 241 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,974 There is another Skywalker. 242 00:19:21,944 --> 00:19:23,176 Okay, see you. 243 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,232 Master Yoda, no! 244 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,810 Hi, Hammacher Schlemmer? I'd like the wall-size crossword puzzle. 245 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,024 Why, yes, I do have a credit card. 246 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,647 Name is Yoda... 247 00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:45,782 Parseghian? 248 00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:54,892 I can't believe Master Yoda's dead. 249 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,695 Yoda will always be with you, Luke. 250 00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,815 A ghost! 251 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:06,737 Obi-Wan! Why didn't you tell me Vader was my father? 252 00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:09,207 Why didn't you tell me you got a new hand? 253 00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:11,909 Let's take that thing out for a test drive. 254 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:14,245 But if Vader's my father, 255 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,892 does that mean I'm vulnerable to the dark side? 256 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:20,801 Seriously, put your hand like you're gonna pull a carrot out of the ground. 257 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:25,640 Obi-Wan, Yoda said there's another Skywalker. 258 00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:28,926 There is, Luke. You have a sister. 259 00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:31,006 A sister? Who is it? 260 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,508 Who the hell you think it is? 261 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,252 Who's the only goddamn woman in the galaxy? 262 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,235 Leia! 263 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,853 Hey, just for giggles, 264 00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:41,221 you wanna poop in Yoda's tiny toilet, 265 00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:42,956 pretend he took a giant poop? 266 00:20:53,703 --> 00:20:54,903 Me first! 267 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:02,627 I'd like to thank you all for meeting me here, in the lobby of the Mondrian. 268 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,189 Hey, check it out, it's another chick! 269 00:21:04,213 --> 00:21:06,414 The only other chick in the galaxy. 270 00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:07,815 I don't like her. 271 00:21:07,883 --> 00:21:10,045 The Emperor has made a critical error, 272 00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,309 and the time for our attack has come. 273 00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:16,023 We've learned that the new Death Star is not yet operational. 274 00:21:16,092 --> 00:21:17,741 But, more importantly, 275 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:21,412 that the Emperor himself is overseeing this mission. 276 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,409 Hey, you know what I find hilarious? Bothans. 277 00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:27,234 Many Bothans died to bring us this information. 278 00:21:27,302 --> 00:21:29,353 Ooh! 279 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,738 Admiral Ackbar, if you will? 280 00:21:31,807 --> 00:21:32,973 It's a trap! 281 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,910 Just kidding. We'll get there later. 282 00:21:35,978 --> 00:21:39,062 So, let's pretty much just attack like we did last time. 283 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,343 Sound good? No need to fix what ain't broke, right? 284 00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,645 Yeah, we did this already. That's what's so fucked up. 285 00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:45,931 General Solo will take a stolen Imperial shuttle 286 00:21:45,955 --> 00:21:48,901 and knock out the shield generator on the fourth moon of Endor, 287 00:21:48,925 --> 00:21:50,965 while General Calrissian has volunteered 288 00:21:51,027 --> 00:21:53,577 to lead the squadron to destroy the Death Star. 289 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,089 I didn't actually volunteer. 290 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:56,496 Everybody clear? 291 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:59,194 Am I the only one with a gold star on their uniform? 292 00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:00,311 It's just for record-keeping. 293 00:22:00,335 --> 00:22:02,146 Okay! Let's go for it, people! 294 00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:04,300 Hey, is there anything I can do to help? 295 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:05,324 Luke! 296 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:07,824 What is it? 297 00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:09,142 Ask me again sometime. 298 00:22:09,211 --> 00:22:10,243 What? 299 00:22:10,312 --> 00:22:12,190 I know something about you! 300 00:22:12,214 --> 00:22:13,458 Tell me. No. 301 00:22:13,482 --> 00:22:15,515 Come on, Luke! Tell me! Nope! 302 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:18,096 Well, for God's sakes, tell me something about somebody! 303 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:21,571 Okay. Han runs an online employment website on the side. 304 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,942 Economy got you down? Stressed out? Worried about your future? 305 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,671 Sounds like you need a Han job. 306 00:22:26,695 --> 00:22:29,441 I'm Han Solo, and I have jobs for everyone. 307 00:22:29,465 --> 00:22:31,176 Come by and apply for your Han job, 308 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,895 and I'll get you off and running. 309 00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:34,563 Other websites jerk you around 310 00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:36,047 and don't finish what they start. 311 00:22:36,071 --> 00:22:37,721 But with HANJOBS.ORG, 312 00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:40,457 we'll have you shooting for the stars! 313 00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:43,806 But keep it down, my neighbors don't know what's going on in here. 314 00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:52,903 All right, now remember, Lando, don't get a single scratch on the Falcon, okay? 315 00:22:52,971 --> 00:22:55,906 Look, will you relax? I already said I'll be careful. 316 00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:57,352 Well, just make sure you are. 317 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,736 That ship's gotten me laid a bunch of times. 318 00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:10,087 Hey, hey, hey, girls! Anyone want to make the Kessel Run? 319 00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:13,190 That'd be cool, but we only got 12 parsecs. 320 00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,976 Hop in. 321 00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:19,479 Threepio, why are you wearing a coat and tie? 322 00:23:19,548 --> 00:23:22,748 Some people still treat flying as an occasion. 323 00:23:27,005 --> 00:23:28,088 What's the matter? 324 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,622 Oh, nothing. 325 00:23:29,691 --> 00:23:31,636 I just got a funny feeling I'm never gonna see her again. 326 00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:32,893 Who, the Falcon? 327 00:23:32,962 --> 00:23:34,882 No, Elizabeth Hurley. I just... 328 00:23:35,731 --> 00:23:38,012 I just think she's done. 329 00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:59,030 Hey! It's me! Can I come in? 330 00:23:59,054 --> 00:24:00,104 Shit. 331 00:24:03,926 --> 00:24:05,554 Hey, I just wanted to let you... 332 00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:06,654 Oh, boy. What's that? 333 00:24:06,678 --> 00:24:08,778 I was just ironing my robe, 334 00:24:08,847 --> 00:24:10,630 taking a look around. What's up? 335 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:13,378 Well I just wanted to let you know there's a rebel fleet massing at Sullust, 336 00:24:13,402 --> 00:24:15,631 and I think they're going to invade or something. 337 00:24:15,655 --> 00:24:18,066 You made sure there wasn't a hole in the Death Star this time? 338 00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:20,018 Yeah, like I'm gonna do that twice! 339 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:23,477 You... Shut up, mister! Gosh almighty! 340 00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,890 But, you know, it might be something to be concerned about. 341 00:24:25,914 --> 00:24:29,183 It's of no concern! The rebellion will soon be crushed, 342 00:24:29,252 --> 00:24:31,918 and young Skywalker will be one of us. 343 00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:34,483 We're still doing that initiation thing we talked about, right? 344 00:24:34,507 --> 00:24:36,785 Oh, yeah! Where you rub your wang on a fruit salad 345 00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,119 and we watch him eat it? You bet! 346 00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:39,521 You ate the whole thing, remember? 347 00:24:39,545 --> 00:24:41,585 Yeah, most of it. 348 00:24:48,236 --> 00:24:49,965 All right, this is it. 349 00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:53,690 Shuttle Tyderium requesting deactivation of the deflector shield. 350 00:24:53,759 --> 00:24:56,555 Shuttle Tyderium, transmit the clearance code for shield passage. 351 00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:58,045 Transmission commencing. 352 00:24:58,114 --> 00:25:01,354 Now we find out if that code is worth the price we paid. 353 00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:04,918 Vader's on that ship. 354 00:25:04,987 --> 00:25:07,716 Don't get jittery, Luke. There's a lot of command ships. 355 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:09,234 Keep your distance, though, Chewie. 356 00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:11,236 But don't look like you're trying to keep your distance. 357 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:12,437 How am I supposed to do that? 358 00:25:12,461 --> 00:25:14,194 I don't know, fly casual! 359 00:25:21,103 --> 00:25:23,765 Does that casual-looking shuttle have a code clearance? 360 00:25:23,789 --> 00:25:25,534 Well, it's an older code, sir. 361 00:25:29,061 --> 00:25:31,022 But it checks out. Wait a minute. 362 00:25:31,046 --> 00:25:32,812 Skywalker's on that ship. 363 00:25:32,881 --> 00:25:33,913 You can sense him? 364 00:25:33,983 --> 00:25:35,183 No, he's right there. 365 00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:38,697 They're not going for it, Chewie. 366 00:25:38,721 --> 00:25:40,866 Everybody, they're not going for it. This is failing. 367 00:25:40,890 --> 00:25:43,101 Luke, take this gun. You shoot me, I'll shoot you. 368 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:45,737 Shuttle Tyderium, the shield has been deactivated. 369 00:25:45,761 --> 00:25:47,127 You are cleared to approach. 370 00:25:47,196 --> 00:25:50,396 Well, there you go, gang! False alarm! 371 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:52,299 Oh. 372 00:25:52,368 --> 00:25:53,500 False alarm? 373 00:25:56,005 --> 00:25:57,215 All right, somebody? Anybody? 374 00:25:57,239 --> 00:25:59,479 Do not let me leave here without maple syrup. 375 00:26:11,787 --> 00:26:13,331 How are we gonna get past? 376 00:26:13,355 --> 00:26:14,833 All right, there's only a few of them. 377 00:26:14,857 --> 00:26:17,085 Chewie and I'll take care of those guys, you stay here. 378 00:26:17,109 --> 00:26:18,124 Oh! Ladybug. 379 00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:41,331 Oh! I love this song! 380 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,440 Hey! 381 00:26:47,472 --> 00:26:49,184 Over there! Two more of them! 382 00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:51,058 I see them. Wait! Leia! 383 00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:57,648 My bike! 384 00:26:57,716 --> 00:26:59,649 Where's my bike? 385 00:27:12,197 --> 00:27:14,297 Move closer! Get alongside that one! 386 00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:30,346 Oh! Can you play the theme from E.T., John Williams? 387 00:27:30,415 --> 00:27:32,816 No, but I can do the theme to Entertainment Tonight. 388 00:27:47,249 --> 00:27:48,860 Celebrating birthdays today, 389 00:27:48,884 --> 00:27:51,151 IG-88 turns 27, 390 00:27:51,220 --> 00:27:53,120 Lando Calrissian is 42, 391 00:27:53,189 --> 00:27:55,822 and "I Don't Like You, Either" Guy is 63. 392 00:28:08,170 --> 00:28:10,451 Keep on that one! I'll take these two! 393 00:28:33,662 --> 00:28:35,895 Destroy the planet Alderaan. 394 00:28:58,804 --> 00:29:00,665 You know, I think I've finally done it. 395 00:29:00,689 --> 00:29:04,190 I think I've gotten over the loss of my home planet, Alderaan. 396 00:29:04,259 --> 00:29:05,859 I've finally moved on. 397 00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:39,226 Ow! Oh! My side! 398 00:29:49,838 --> 00:29:52,038 General Solo, somebody's coming! 399 00:29:55,277 --> 00:29:57,706 Luke, there you are! Where's Leia? Have you seen her? 400 00:29:57,730 --> 00:29:59,096 She didn't come back? 401 00:29:59,164 --> 00:30:02,243 She probably decided to make like one of these trees and leave. 402 00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:05,902 Where did you get that? 403 00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:07,281 I don't know. I stepped on it earlier. 404 00:30:07,305 --> 00:30:08,382 It was just here in the woods. 405 00:30:08,406 --> 00:30:10,406 Been having a lot of fun with it. 406 00:30:10,743 --> 00:30:12,408 That's funny, 407 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:14,956 because my friend lost his horn on the forest moon of Endor last year. 408 00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,060 It's not his. 409 00:30:25,274 --> 00:30:27,118 Hey, cut it out. Do not move! 410 00:30:27,142 --> 00:30:30,042 Or I will stab you with my very sharp spear. 411 00:30:30,111 --> 00:30:32,474 Look, put that down. I'm not going to hurt you. 412 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:35,281 You are my enemy, and I want you off my planet. 413 00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:36,561 Want a piece of cracker? 414 00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:38,318 I will do anything you say! 415 00:30:41,022 --> 00:30:44,624 By the way, I think you're about to start your period. 416 00:30:44,693 --> 00:30:46,492 That's how I found you. 417 00:30:57,439 --> 00:30:58,922 Hey, hi. Me again. 418 00:30:58,990 --> 00:31:01,852 Hey, good news. The Death Star T-shirts finally arrived. 419 00:31:01,876 --> 00:31:02,893 Oh! Sweet! 420 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,179 Oh, come on. 421 00:31:06,965 --> 00:31:08,214 "Death Stab"? 422 00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:09,677 Oh, for God's sake, Christie. 423 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:11,279 Why don't you fire that girl? 424 00:31:11,303 --> 00:31:13,748 She's actually, believe it or not, better than the last one. 425 00:31:13,772 --> 00:31:15,884 I thought I told you to wait on the command ship. 426 00:31:15,908 --> 00:31:19,859 Yes, well, the thing is, a small rebel force has landed on the forest moon, 427 00:31:19,928 --> 00:31:21,261 and my son is with them. 428 00:31:21,329 --> 00:31:23,049 Kurt? No, Luke. 429 00:31:23,081 --> 00:31:24,708 I thought Kurt was your son. 430 00:31:24,732 --> 00:31:28,168 No, no, Kurt was just a guy I was hanging around with for a while. 431 00:31:28,236 --> 00:31:29,502 That wasn't my son. 432 00:31:29,571 --> 00:31:31,204 What do you mean? 433 00:31:31,273 --> 00:31:33,467 I mean, he was younger, but he wasn't that much younger. 434 00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:35,642 No, what do you mean, "hanging around with"? 435 00:31:35,711 --> 00:31:37,638 Oh, it's not... Just a dude, you know? 436 00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:39,840 Just some guy to, like, play ball with, 437 00:31:39,864 --> 00:31:43,500 and go to the movies, crash into real hard in the hallway. 438 00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,603 You know, just guy stuff. You know, just a bro, you know? 439 00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:50,524 Someone you can read the Sunday paper or share an orange with. 440 00:31:50,592 --> 00:31:53,088 Honestly, Darth, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. 441 00:31:53,112 --> 00:31:55,406 Well, I don't know what you want me to... 442 00:31:55,430 --> 00:31:58,398 Look, just go down to the moon and wait for your son. 443 00:31:58,467 --> 00:32:00,584 I have foreseen that his compassion for you 444 00:32:00,653 --> 00:32:02,893 will be his undoing. Got it. On my way. 445 00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:05,555 No more of this Kurt shit. Yeah. 446 00:32:07,559 --> 00:32:09,993 Leia! Leia! 447 00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:15,381 Han, come over here. 448 00:32:15,450 --> 00:32:16,450 I found this. 449 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:18,818 I suck. 450 00:32:18,887 --> 00:32:21,782 Hey, maybe we get out of the woods before nightfall, 451 00:32:21,806 --> 00:32:23,868 on account of the ghosts and all. 452 00:32:23,892 --> 00:32:25,652 Hey, guys, look over there! 453 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:28,127 It's a hot girl from Florida. 454 00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:30,975 No, Chewie, don't! If you talk to her, you have to talk to her mom! 455 00:32:30,999 --> 00:32:32,933 I see you've met my daughter. 456 00:32:33,001 --> 00:32:36,569 You know, we were just mistaken for sisters over at the bar. 457 00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:38,605 Chewie, get away from... 458 00:32:41,910 --> 00:32:43,388 How are we going to get out of here? 459 00:32:43,412 --> 00:32:45,762 Wait a second, guys. I got an idea. 460 00:32:45,831 --> 00:32:49,565 Remember that laser I used to break Leia out of Jabba's handcuffs? 461 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:52,202 Well, here comes a little tiny saw! 462 00:33:02,414 --> 00:33:05,431 Whoa! What the hell are these? Hamsters? 463 00:33:05,517 --> 00:33:07,584 Oh, my God, they're adorable! 464 00:33:10,472 --> 00:33:16,693 Gold Guy. Gold Guy. Gold Guy. 465 00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:18,227 What are they doing? 466 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:19,429 I'm not sure. 467 00:33:19,481 --> 00:33:21,881 They seem to think I'm some sort of god. 468 00:33:21,950 --> 00:33:23,844 And they seem to think I'm Sum 41. 469 00:33:23,868 --> 00:33:26,503 ♪ All the small things... ♪ 470 00:33:26,572 --> 00:33:28,038 That's Blink-182. 471 00:33:28,106 --> 00:33:30,573 Sum 41 is the band that married Avril Lavigne. 472 00:33:30,642 --> 00:33:32,976 Oh... Huh! 473 00:33:33,045 --> 00:33:36,157 Seems like everybody would turn out a loser in that situation. 474 00:33:36,181 --> 00:33:37,196 Everybody did. 475 00:33:46,875 --> 00:33:48,725 Threepio, tell them to let us go. 476 00:33:48,794 --> 00:33:50,288 What the hell am I supposed to say? 477 00:33:50,312 --> 00:33:52,512 Tell them if they don't let us go, 478 00:33:52,564 --> 00:33:55,298 you'll become angry and use your magic. 479 00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:56,526 Yeah, I'll get right on that. 480 00:34:01,106 --> 00:34:02,138 It's not working! 481 00:34:06,728 --> 00:34:08,211 Is this your card? 482 00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:16,703 Luke! Han! Leia! 483 00:34:16,772 --> 00:34:18,254 Who braided your hair? 484 00:34:18,323 --> 00:34:20,301 Did the Ewoks braid your hair? 485 00:34:20,325 --> 00:34:21,657 Yeah. 486 00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:24,838 So, they use spears with wooden shafts and stone-carved tips, 487 00:34:24,862 --> 00:34:27,942 yet they clearly understand the finer points of cosmetology? 488 00:34:27,966 --> 00:34:30,300 I know, it's not as good as Empire. 489 00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:39,837 Born and raised... 490 00:34:41,479 --> 00:34:42,679 most of my days... 491 00:34:43,648 --> 00:34:45,688 'maxing, relaxing all cool... 492 00:34:46,051 --> 00:34:47,091 b-ball... 493 00:34:50,188 --> 00:34:51,921 no good... 494 00:34:51,990 --> 00:34:53,656 trouble... neighborhood... 495 00:34:54,359 --> 00:34:55,559 One little fight... 496 00:34:56,128 --> 00:34:58,061 scared... 497 00:34:58,130 --> 00:34:59,640 auntie and uncle in Bel Air. 498 00:35:03,135 --> 00:35:04,868 DJ Jazzy Jeff homeless. 499 00:35:08,590 --> 00:35:10,706 Luke, are you okay? 500 00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:14,060 Leia, I've got something kind of messed up to tell you. 501 00:35:15,129 --> 00:35:16,396 You're my sister. 502 00:35:17,749 --> 00:35:18,982 I know. 503 00:35:19,050 --> 00:35:20,995 Somehow, I've always known. 504 00:35:21,019 --> 00:35:22,285 You have? 505 00:35:22,354 --> 00:35:24,487 Did you know when you kissed me on Hoth? 506 00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:26,636 Yeah. Well, that's pretty weird! 507 00:35:26,691 --> 00:35:29,975 I'm from Alderaan. It's kind of the Mississippi of the galaxy. 508 00:35:30,044 --> 00:35:34,080 Speaking of which, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Darth Twitty. 509 00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:46,042 ♪ He put his arms around her shoulder 510 00:35:46,111 --> 00:35:48,478 ♪ And with a voice that sounded older 511 00:35:48,546 --> 00:35:52,182 ♪ He said "Mom, I got something on my mind" ♪ 512 00:36:00,625 --> 00:36:02,436 Imperial shuttle requesting permission 513 00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:04,493 to land like a dainty butterfly. 514 00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:06,762 Permission granted. 515 00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:12,686 Nice. That was nice. 516 00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:25,549 Hey, Son. 517 00:36:25,617 --> 00:36:28,168 Hey, Dad. Haven't seen you in a while. 518 00:36:28,236 --> 00:36:30,887 Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. 519 00:36:30,955 --> 00:36:33,156 But I got you a new baseball. 520 00:36:33,224 --> 00:36:35,544 Good. Our first catch of the day. 521 00:36:35,594 --> 00:36:38,227 Hey, go wait in the AT-AT. 522 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,831 Now listen, since your mom's out of town and I have you for the weekend, 523 00:36:41,899 --> 00:36:43,533 I thought it would be fun 524 00:36:43,602 --> 00:36:46,586 if the Emperor and I turned you over to the dark side of the Force. 525 00:36:46,654 --> 00:36:49,889 Daddy, if I may, I'd like to throw out another option. 526 00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:51,903 I sense the good in you. 527 00:36:51,927 --> 00:36:55,167 Hang out with me on the lighter side of the Force. 528 00:37:09,745 --> 00:37:11,327 That's something. 529 00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:12,857 All right, so what do you say? You want to go see the Emperor? 530 00:37:12,881 --> 00:37:15,181 I don't know. Can we have tacos? 531 00:37:15,267 --> 00:37:17,684 No, Friday is taco night. 532 00:37:17,752 --> 00:37:19,569 Oh, darn. 533 00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:21,904 But today is Friday! Yep! 534 00:37:23,441 --> 00:37:25,708 Gotcha! Oh, my God, we're going to have so much fun. 535 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,013 All right. Stand by to jump to lightspeed. 536 00:37:47,081 --> 00:37:49,410 When we arrive at Endor, we will destroy the Death Star 537 00:37:49,434 --> 00:37:52,185 and then begin setting up the Ewok reassignment camps. 538 00:37:52,253 --> 00:37:54,119 I hate that stupid fish man. 539 00:37:54,188 --> 00:37:55,789 I say when we're done with this, 540 00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:58,257 we go over there and fry him up in a skillet. 541 00:38:10,856 --> 00:38:12,216 All right, here goes nothing. 542 00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:15,440 I'm going to sneak up on that guy. 543 00:38:18,012 --> 00:38:19,612 Hey! Gotcha! 544 00:38:19,681 --> 00:38:21,781 Okay, you got me. 545 00:38:21,849 --> 00:38:23,728 Hey, wait, you got something there. 546 00:38:23,752 --> 00:38:26,033 Oh, my God! I can't believe I fell for that. 547 00:38:26,070 --> 00:38:29,439 I know. Now, excuse me, I have to make out with my girlfriend. 548 00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:31,541 Oh! Sorry! I'll leave you two alone. 549 00:38:31,610 --> 00:38:33,120 Nah, it's just me by myself! 550 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,528 Oh, my God! That's so cool! 551 00:38:35,597 --> 00:38:37,947 Hey, take your helmet off. I'll do "got your nose." 552 00:38:38,016 --> 00:38:39,326 We're not supposed to take these off, 553 00:38:39,350 --> 00:38:40,910 but I really want to see that. 554 00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:43,967 What the hell? Your head is so small! 555 00:38:44,022 --> 00:38:47,223 Yeah, that's why we wear these big helmets. It's a lot more intimidating. 556 00:38:47,291 --> 00:38:50,451 I'll be honest with you. I don't like people who are different. 557 00:39:17,189 --> 00:39:20,089 Hey, hey! Look who I brought! 558 00:39:20,141 --> 00:39:22,704 Welcome, young Skywalker. Thank you. 559 00:39:22,728 --> 00:39:24,255 Not you! I'm so embarrassed. 560 00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,607 I thought you should know, young Skywalker, 561 00:39:26,631 --> 00:39:29,098 that your friends are walking into a trap. 562 00:39:29,166 --> 00:39:32,785 Wow. You're white? You totally sounded black on the phone. 563 00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:35,855 Silence! You will turn to the dark side, 564 00:39:35,924 --> 00:39:39,959 and your precious rebellion will be destroyed. 565 00:39:40,028 --> 00:39:41,510 Oh! 566 00:39:41,579 --> 00:39:47,499 I'm afraid the shield generator will be quite operational 567 00:39:47,568 --> 00:39:50,420 when your friends arrive. 568 00:39:50,488 --> 00:39:52,772 Jeez, you don't have to be a dick about it. 569 00:39:55,443 --> 00:39:57,438 All right, everybody, hands in the air! 570 00:39:57,462 --> 00:40:00,307 All right. Now I want you to take off your helmets, go outside 571 00:40:00,331 --> 00:40:01,809 and dig your own graves with them. 572 00:40:01,833 --> 00:40:03,416 Han, that's kind of dark. 573 00:40:03,485 --> 00:40:06,280 Shut up! There's enough cutesy crap in this movie. I think we all need this. 574 00:40:06,304 --> 00:40:07,553 Now get outside! 575 00:40:09,307 --> 00:40:11,467 I have a family! Faster! 576 00:40:12,143 --> 00:40:13,726 I just do data entry! 577 00:40:13,812 --> 00:40:15,339 All right. You, kill him. What? 578 00:40:15,363 --> 00:40:17,675 Kill him. Take this knife and stab him in the mouth. 579 00:40:17,699 --> 00:40:19,432 No, please! 580 00:40:19,501 --> 00:40:21,612 Shut up! And after he's dead, cut off his face and wear it as your face. 581 00:40:21,636 --> 00:40:23,814 Please! I've had it up to here with Ewoks. 582 00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:25,633 Now, stab him and wear his face! 583 00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:28,068 And then go home to his family still wearing his face, 584 00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:31,071 and see how long it takes them to figure out that it's you and not him. 585 00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:32,312 Hold it right there! 586 00:40:32,914 --> 00:40:34,964 You rebel scum. 587 00:40:35,033 --> 00:40:38,567 Wow. What a voice! Do you mind reading this for me? 588 00:40:38,637 --> 00:40:41,954 "Paging Mr. Herman, Mr. Pee-wee Herman." 589 00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:44,540 I found my bike! 590 00:40:58,022 --> 00:41:00,401 What do you mean, we can't get any reading on the shield? 591 00:41:00,425 --> 00:41:03,154 Man, only thing I'm reading is Cat in the Hat. 592 00:41:03,178 --> 00:41:05,377 Damn cat! That hat looks ridiculous! 593 00:41:09,450 --> 00:41:12,062 Admiral, we've got enemy ships in sector 47. 594 00:41:12,086 --> 00:41:13,886 It's a trap! It's a trap! 595 00:41:13,955 --> 00:41:15,772 Also, whose cat? 596 00:41:16,942 --> 00:41:18,702 Someone get your cat. 597 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:24,855 Fighters coming in! 598 00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:36,608 Lando to Enterprise! Draw their fire away from the cruisers! 599 00:41:36,694 --> 00:41:39,211 We're having tea, thank you very much. 600 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:40,846 Yes, tea. 601 00:41:55,129 --> 00:41:58,531 Listen, you guys, this is all a crazy misunderstanding. 602 00:42:00,335 --> 00:42:01,962 You think this is gonna work? 603 00:42:01,986 --> 00:42:05,032 Oh, yeah. Those Ewoks had all of five minutes to get things prepared. 604 00:42:05,056 --> 00:42:06,633 I'm sure it's all gonna work out fine. 605 00:42:21,589 --> 00:42:23,989 This armor's useless! Why do we even wear it? 606 00:43:15,043 --> 00:43:17,426 Look out! Here comes a squadron of PIE fighters! 607 00:43:40,968 --> 00:43:42,468 Look at that, huh? 608 00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:44,987 Look at the crappy job your friends are doing. 609 00:43:45,056 --> 00:43:47,301 And here's something that's gonna piss you off even more. 610 00:43:47,325 --> 00:43:48,874 Fire at will! 611 00:43:48,943 --> 00:43:52,103 Gee, Dr. Smith, this doesn't seem like a very safe place to be. 612 00:43:53,731 --> 00:43:55,331 William! 613 00:43:55,399 --> 00:43:57,839 Okay, now fire at everybody else. 614 00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:05,708 Holy shit! That blast came from the Death Star! 615 00:44:05,777 --> 00:44:06,992 That thing's operational! 616 00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:08,094 What's that mean? 617 00:44:08,162 --> 00:44:09,461 It's fully functional! 618 00:44:09,530 --> 00:44:11,030 I still don't get it. I'm 5. 619 00:44:11,099 --> 00:44:12,631 Bang, bang, boom, boom! 620 00:44:12,700 --> 00:44:15,150 Bang, bang, boom, boom? Damn, that thing's operational! 621 00:44:17,605 --> 00:44:21,440 Look at that! Blowing up rebel ships! Bet that gets you going. 622 00:44:21,508 --> 00:44:22,958 You hate me now? 623 00:44:23,027 --> 00:44:26,044 Come on. Take that lightsaber and try to strike me down, 624 00:44:26,114 --> 00:44:29,699 and your journey toward the dark side will be complete. 625 00:44:29,767 --> 00:44:32,463 I've seen a lot of ships get blown up. It's no big deal. 626 00:44:32,487 --> 00:44:35,149 Yeah, I guess that wouldn't get under my skin, either. 627 00:44:35,173 --> 00:44:37,150 Not the way Seth Green gets under my skin. 628 00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:38,273 Huh? 629 00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:40,392 Yeah. Boy, that guy rubs me the wrong way. 630 00:44:40,461 --> 00:44:42,794 I mean, has he ever made anything successful? 631 00:44:42,863 --> 00:44:46,432 Greg the Bunny, Four Kings, and that godawful puppet show. 632 00:44:46,501 --> 00:44:48,512 It's on, like, channel 100 or something. 633 00:44:48,536 --> 00:44:50,747 Well, I think he's had some successes. 634 00:44:50,771 --> 00:44:52,782 Buffy the Vampire Slayer was popular. 635 00:44:52,806 --> 00:44:54,306 It was not popular. 636 00:44:54,375 --> 00:44:56,453 Entertainment Weekly said it was popular, but it wasn't. 637 00:44:56,477 --> 00:44:57,754 Hardly anybody ever watched that show. 638 00:44:57,778 --> 00:44:58,810 Yeah, I never caught it. 639 00:44:58,879 --> 00:45:00,857 Well, he's been in some big movies. 640 00:45:00,881 --> 00:45:03,927 The Austin Powers movies grossed, like, a billion dollars. 641 00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:06,718 What, because of Seth Green? Do you ever hear anyone say, 642 00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:09,616 "Hey, let's go see that new Austin Powers, Seth Green's in it"? 643 00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,034 You're not getting to me, man. 644 00:45:11,058 --> 00:45:13,687 You're talking about an actor who I happen to enjoy. 645 00:45:13,711 --> 00:45:15,695 Well, I certainly enjoyed him in Entourage, 646 00:45:15,763 --> 00:45:17,630 'cause in that show, he was playing himself, 647 00:45:17,699 --> 00:45:18,864 an asshole. 648 00:45:22,153 --> 00:45:25,654 Oh! Sorry. This is my joke lightsaber. It's cute, right? 649 00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:26,756 Okay, for real now. 650 00:45:53,184 --> 00:45:54,684 ♪ Mess around 651 00:45:56,153 --> 00:45:58,593 ♪ They doing the mess around 652 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,557 ♪ They doing the mess around 653 00:46:01,626 --> 00:46:03,706 ♪ Everybody doing the mess around ♪ 654 00:46:24,716 --> 00:46:27,866 Join us, Luke. Turn to the back side of the Force. 655 00:46:27,935 --> 00:46:30,331 What? The dark side. Turn to the... 656 00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:32,198 To the... 657 00:46:32,222 --> 00:46:33,355 Long day. 658 00:46:33,424 --> 00:46:35,625 I will not fight you, Father. 659 00:46:35,693 --> 00:46:37,960 Then you will meet your destiny. 660 00:46:42,850 --> 00:46:44,445 Oh, my God! Are you okay? 661 00:46:44,469 --> 00:46:46,813 Oh, my God! I meant to hit you in the shoulder, 662 00:46:46,837 --> 00:46:48,499 and that whole thing just fell! 663 00:46:48,523 --> 00:46:50,117 Did you see that? What? 664 00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:52,474 That whole thing just fell. How? 665 00:46:52,543 --> 00:46:53,821 I don't know. He was up there like, 666 00:46:53,845 --> 00:46:55,477 "I can't do this," I threw the thing, 667 00:46:55,546 --> 00:46:56,990 and I just meant to hit him in the arm, 668 00:46:57,014 --> 00:46:58,497 and then the whole thing fell. 669 00:46:58,566 --> 00:47:00,544 Well, that's good, right? We want him hurt. 670 00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:01,984 Are you using your brain? 671 00:47:02,052 --> 00:47:04,212 We're lucky if we come out of this without a lawsuit. 672 00:47:11,478 --> 00:47:12,645 Ow! 673 00:47:14,365 --> 00:47:15,565 Freeze! 674 00:47:15,633 --> 00:47:17,044 Okay, now you're in a laundromat, 675 00:47:17,068 --> 00:47:18,379 and there's only one available machine, 676 00:47:18,403 --> 00:47:19,863 and you're fighting over it. Go! 677 00:47:19,887 --> 00:47:23,155 Oh, God! It looks like all these machines are taken. 678 00:47:23,224 --> 00:47:26,384 Oh, drat! And me with all my soiled underthings. 679 00:47:28,395 --> 00:47:30,324 If anyone asks, I shot him. Got that? 680 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:31,988 You were crying in the corner. 681 00:47:37,037 --> 00:47:38,797 Holy crap. Stay back. 682 00:47:40,158 --> 00:47:43,592 Hey, bitches! I just killed, like, 50 stormtroopers. 683 00:47:43,644 --> 00:47:44,988 That thing is really cool! 684 00:47:45,012 --> 00:47:46,106 Damn right it is! 685 00:47:46,130 --> 00:47:47,341 See that squirrel over there? 686 00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:49,725 Hi, little squirrel. 687 00:47:50,084 --> 00:47:51,400 Ooh! 688 00:47:51,469 --> 00:47:53,247 Hey, why don't you blast open this door, and then we can... 689 00:47:53,271 --> 00:47:54,653 Hey, a butterfly! 690 00:47:54,721 --> 00:47:56,566 Look at those beautiful wings flapping. 691 00:47:56,590 --> 00:47:59,475 But here comes ka-slice! 692 00:48:01,512 --> 00:48:03,190 Hey, speedy little hummingbird. 693 00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:04,774 You're so fast, aren't you? 694 00:48:04,798 --> 00:48:07,749 Oh, but are you as fast as this? 695 00:48:09,504 --> 00:48:13,005 Whoa! What do we have here? A fully formed beehive! 696 00:48:13,073 --> 00:48:15,168 Must have taken months to build that guy. 697 00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:17,152 Well, guess what? 698 00:48:21,366 --> 00:48:22,406 Oh, God! 699 00:48:24,718 --> 00:48:25,784 Oh, my God! 700 00:48:29,540 --> 00:48:30,740 Should we help him? 701 00:48:30,792 --> 00:48:31,807 Eh. 702 00:48:33,094 --> 00:48:34,294 I think... 703 00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:35,405 I think... 704 00:48:35,429 --> 00:48:36,629 I think... 705 00:48:39,033 --> 00:48:41,466 Give yourself to the dark side, Luke. 706 00:48:41,536 --> 00:48:43,514 I will not fight you. 707 00:48:43,538 --> 00:48:45,738 Well, all right. I guess that's no problem. 708 00:48:45,806 --> 00:48:48,306 I can always get Seth Green to fight me. 709 00:48:48,375 --> 00:48:50,020 He'll do anything for money. 710 00:48:50,044 --> 00:48:51,622 I mean, did you see Sex Drive? 711 00:48:51,646 --> 00:48:53,686 Oh, of course you didn't. You're a person. 712 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:57,213 Of course, I guess it did respectable foreign numbers. 713 00:48:57,251 --> 00:48:58,567 Asians really liked it. 714 00:49:01,005 --> 00:49:02,432 And you gotta hand it to Seth Green. 715 00:49:02,456 --> 00:49:04,557 I mean, he works hard, you know? 716 00:49:04,642 --> 00:49:08,160 I mean, the work is much harder when you know the project is no good. 717 00:49:08,228 --> 00:49:10,890 Still, all those small paychecks must add up. 718 00:49:12,683 --> 00:49:16,235 I wonder if his fan base knows how Jewish he really is. 719 00:49:40,845 --> 00:49:43,012 Hey, you got a good hand guy, right? 720 00:49:44,232 --> 00:49:46,565 Good. Good! 721 00:49:46,633 --> 00:49:49,285 Your hate has made you powerful. 722 00:49:49,354 --> 00:49:51,531 Now, fulfill your destiny 723 00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:55,207 and take your father's place at my side. 724 00:49:55,276 --> 00:49:57,303 Can we at least put together a press release 725 00:49:57,327 --> 00:50:01,596 that says I'm resigning of my own accord to pursue other evil projects? 726 00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:04,500 I'll never join the dark side. 727 00:50:04,569 --> 00:50:06,335 You failed, Your Highness. 728 00:50:06,404 --> 00:50:08,987 I'm a Jedi, like my father before me. 729 00:50:09,056 --> 00:50:11,376 All right, let's everybody just calm the fuck down. 730 00:50:11,875 --> 00:50:12,924 Move! Run! 731 00:50:21,919 --> 00:50:24,970 The shield is down. Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor. 732 00:50:25,038 --> 00:50:28,007 The shield may be down, but they've gone into glitter-ball mode. 733 00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:38,234 If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed. 734 00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:40,936 Oh, yeah? You and what lightning hands? 735 00:50:41,005 --> 00:50:42,085 Oh! Now you've done it. 736 00:50:48,513 --> 00:50:50,796 Yeah! I'm a bad guy! 737 00:50:50,865 --> 00:50:53,165 Yeah! Yeah! How about that, huh? 738 00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:55,178 Look at that! Look what I can do! 739 00:50:55,202 --> 00:50:56,668 Yeah! Out the butthole! 740 00:50:57,505 --> 00:50:59,388 Father, please! 741 00:50:59,457 --> 00:51:02,507 "Please"! You know what? You have nice manners. 742 00:51:02,576 --> 00:51:05,255 I'm so delighted that Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen took the time 743 00:51:05,279 --> 00:51:07,057 to teach you nice manners. 744 00:51:07,081 --> 00:51:09,961 And just for that, I'm going to help you out here. 745 00:51:20,745 --> 00:51:23,045 That's the power of "please," kids. 746 00:51:46,987 --> 00:51:49,104 Luke, help me get this mask off. 747 00:51:49,173 --> 00:51:51,373 Let me look on you with my own eyes, 748 00:51:52,009 --> 00:51:53,208 father to son. 749 00:52:01,168 --> 00:52:03,418 Ahhh! Oh, no! 750 00:52:03,487 --> 00:52:06,739 He's dead because of what the Emperor did 751 00:52:06,824 --> 00:52:08,323 a while ago! 752 00:52:09,459 --> 00:52:11,243 I better take his body! 753 00:52:11,845 --> 00:52:12,977 Just 'cause. 754 00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:31,247 Okay, Wedge, take out the power station. 755 00:52:31,315 --> 00:52:35,184 ♪ Some like it hot And some sweat when the heat is on 756 00:52:38,939 --> 00:52:41,223 ♪ Some feel the heat and decide... ♪ 757 00:52:42,843 --> 00:52:44,026 Thank you. 758 00:53:23,668 --> 00:53:27,436 Hey, Leia, you got a date for the We Just Killed Thousands of People Dance tonight? 759 00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:28,537 No. 760 00:53:28,606 --> 00:53:30,450 You do now. Pick you up at 7:00. 761 00:53:30,474 --> 00:53:32,941 And save Yub Nub for me. 762 00:53:33,010 --> 00:53:35,588 Come to think of it, you can shave your yub nub for me, too! 763 00:53:36,931 --> 00:53:38,131 I'll see you at 7:00. 764 00:54:13,868 --> 00:54:16,135 What the hell, man? I was gonna make it! 765 00:54:16,203 --> 00:54:18,782 Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe. 766 00:54:18,806 --> 00:54:20,726 Fuck you! You murdered me, you ass. 767 00:54:29,366 --> 00:54:30,765 The end. 768 00:54:30,834 --> 00:54:33,936 And that's the final chapter in the Star Wars saga. 769 00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:35,315 What about the prequels? 770 00:54:35,339 --> 00:54:37,219 I think The Cleveland Show is gonna do those. 771 00:54:37,274 --> 00:54:40,559 Dad, one question. What do you got against Seth Green? 772 00:54:40,627 --> 00:54:43,261 I just think he's a douche. You got a problem with that? 773 00:54:43,330 --> 00:54:45,859 Well, we're all entitled to our own opinion. 774 00:54:45,883 --> 00:54:48,883 For example, me, I think Seth MacFarlane is a douche. 775 00:54:48,936 --> 00:54:50,897 What's that, now? Yeah, I don't like him, either. 776 00:54:50,921 --> 00:54:52,171 Yeah, me neither. 777 00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:54,233 Wait a second. I hear he's a pretty nice guy. 778 00:54:54,257 --> 00:54:56,374 Yeah, good-looking guy. Talented, young... 779 00:54:56,443 --> 00:54:58,922 Talented? He ripped off The Simpsons. 780 00:54:58,946 --> 00:55:01,213 Yeah, he watched TV in the '80s. We get it. 781 00:55:01,282 --> 00:55:03,522 And he only puts out, like, ten new episode a year. 782 00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:06,513 And then he splits those up into five DVD sets. 783 00:55:06,537 --> 00:55:08,186 He doesn't make those decisions, Chris. 784 00:55:08,255 --> 00:55:10,215 Those decisions are made at the corporate level. 785 00:55:10,274 --> 00:55:13,036 But he still takes the money every week. How noble. 786 00:55:13,060 --> 00:55:16,300 And doesn't he have a whole staff that writes those episodes anyway? 787 00:55:16,330 --> 00:55:17,607 Well, I wouldn't know about that, 788 00:55:17,631 --> 00:55:19,598 but I think, and I hope, Chris, 789 00:55:19,666 --> 00:55:22,534 that ultimately, people will just remember the laughter. 59370