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♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,622 --> 00:00:07,889
♪ Is violence in
movies and sex on TV
3
00:00:07,958 --> 00:00:11,543
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,762
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:17,966
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,035 --> 00:00:21,386
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,004
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:23,073 --> 00:00:24,723
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:29,844
♪ He's a family guy! ♪
10
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,890
Peter,
what the hell
are you doing?
11
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,296
I can't sleep, Lois.
12
00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,276
I'm too excited for
my birthday tomorrow.
13
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,700
Yeah!
14
00:00:51,768 --> 00:00:53,513
Peter, would you
get in the damn bed?
15
00:00:53,537 --> 00:00:55,503
I'm gonna have the best
birthday party ever.
16
00:00:55,572 --> 00:00:57,889
I gave out all my
invitations yesterday.
17
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,753
Hey, Chris, I was wondering
18
00:00:59,777 --> 00:01:01,788
if you'd like to come
to my party tomorrow.
19
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,611
Thanks, Dad.
I'd love to.
20
00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:05,146
Oh, no! M-E-G.
21
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:06,656
Hey.
22
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,744
What are you guys talking about?
23
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:08,795
Nothing.
Sports!
24
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,414
Birthday sports!
No, just sports!
25
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,003
Oh. Okay.
26
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:15,991
Meg, you're not
invited to my party.
27
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,014
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
28
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,483
Why don't you open
your presents while
I cut the cake?
29
00:01:27,905 --> 00:01:29,003
Whoa!
30
00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:30,706
What planet is this?
31
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,274
It's not a...
Peter, its Earth.
32
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,475
It's a globe.
33
00:01:33,544 --> 00:01:35,477
You use it to learn
where the countries are.
34
00:01:35,546 --> 00:01:38,196
You gave me an educational toy?
35
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,665
What do you say
to Mr. Swanson?
36
00:01:43,286 --> 00:01:45,070
Thank you.
37
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,498
Hey, Dad. This came
in the mail for you.
38
00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:48,941
A card?
39
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,320
Look, it's one of those cards
40
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,988
where you can record
your own message.
41
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:53,956
Come on!
Open it up.
42
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:56,364
Hi, Peter!
Happy birthday.
43
00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,967
Just wanted to send
our wishes from Virginia.
44
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,334
Bye!
45
00:02:00,403 --> 00:02:01,870
Okay, Donna, I'm done.
46
00:02:01,939 --> 00:02:03,516
I'm gonna go mail this card.
47
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,525
♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop
48
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,883
♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop
49
00:02:14,952 --> 00:02:17,085
♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop
50
00:02:17,153 --> 00:02:19,487
♪ Mmmbop
Oh, yeah
51
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,591
♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop
Mmmbop ♪
52
00:02:23,827 --> 00:02:24,893
Oh, shit.
53
00:02:26,262 --> 00:02:27,729
Afternoon, Officer.
54
00:02:27,798 --> 00:02:29,609
Any idea
how fast you were going?
55
00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:30,932
No, sir.
56
00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:32,211
You getting smart with me, boy?
57
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,534
Where'd you get them wheels?
58
00:02:33,604 --> 00:02:34,714
Come on, man.
59
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:35,915
Step out of the car.
60
00:02:35,939 --> 00:02:37,133
But I ain't done nothing.
61
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,590
Hands behind your back.
62
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,069
Hey, easy, watch it!
63
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,026
Come on.
Don't you fight me, boy!
64
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,094
Get down on the ground!
65
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,428
Come on! No!
66
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,963
Hey! Get back here!
67
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,198
Ow! My arm!
68
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,183
This looks like
a safe place to rest.
69
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:56,419
I think he went this way!
70
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,204
Peter, close the card.
71
00:02:58,228 --> 00:02:59,394
Yeah, I'm sure he's fine.
72
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,310
Here, Peter, why don't
you open my gift?
73
00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:05,600
Ohhh! Zales!
74
00:03:05,669 --> 00:03:07,829
It's just the box, Peter.
75
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,771
Tickets to Foxy Boxing?
76
00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:10,883
Yeah, it's this cool thing
77
00:03:10,907 --> 00:03:12,619
where girls in bikinis
box each other.
78
00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:15,043
We're all going Saturday night!
79
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,751
Man, would you look at that?
80
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:26,120
Two smoking-hot chicks
repeatedly striking
each other.
81
00:03:26,189 --> 00:03:27,806
Yeah, it reminds
me of Thanksgiving.
82
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,352
Why does it remind
you of Thanksgiving?
83
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,188
Because this is where
I come for Thanksgiving.
84
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,422
Ladies and gentlemen,
85
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:33,857
may I have your
attention, please?
86
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,275
We've reached that
part of the evening
87
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,832
when our house champion
takes on all challengers.
88
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:40,802
Any of you lovely ladies like
to try your hand in the ring?
89
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,914
Hey, Lois, what do you think?
90
00:03:41,938 --> 00:03:43,283
You want to fight
that lady's boobs?
91
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:45,569
What? No. I'm not
fighting anyone.
92
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:49,461
Oh. Well, good thing I
made this plaster mold
of your hand and forearm.
93
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:50,845
Hey, buddy! Over here!
94
00:03:50,914 --> 00:03:53,565
I see a woman's hand
and forearm at table eight!
95
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:55,400
Damn it, Peter!
96
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,213
Please, Lois!
Come on, you got
to fight her!
97
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,714
It's gonna be great!
Come on, Lois!
Get in there!
98
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,149
Come on!
Take her down!
It'll be awesome!
99
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,439
I'd really like to see that.
100
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:02,919
All right, all right.
101
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,023
If it'll shut you
all up, I'll do it.
102
00:04:08,966 --> 00:04:10,326
All right,
so how does this work?
103
00:04:10,367 --> 00:04:12,345
We gonna pretend
to hit each other
for a while,
104
00:04:12,369 --> 00:04:14,068
then maybe kiss a little?
105
00:04:14,137 --> 00:04:15,971
I'm terrible.
106
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:17,889
Hey, watch it.
107
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,140
That was pretty hard.
108
00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:21,187
No, it wasn't.
Try this one.
109
00:04:21,211 --> 00:04:23,010
Stop that, young lady.
110
00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:25,146
I'm just out here for fun...
111
00:04:25,215 --> 00:04:28,033
Yeah,
punch each other,
you whores!
112
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,085
Okay, you little bitch,
that's it!
113
00:04:30,153 --> 00:04:31,352
You want to fuck with me?
114
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,638
Let's go!
115
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,179
No matter what you do
for the rest of your life,
116
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:43,281
you'll always be garbage.
117
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:47,930
Oh, my God!
118
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,999
I didn't know
Lois had that in her.
119
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,389
Hey, is that your wife?
120
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,174
You bet that's my wife.
121
00:04:53,243 --> 00:04:55,071
Well, I got to say,
she's a natural.
122
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:58,246
You know, she could make
some serious money
as a professional.
123
00:04:58,314 --> 00:05:00,215
Wow, you really think so?
124
00:05:00,284 --> 00:05:03,818
Oh, sure. Women's boxing
is a rapidly growing part
of the field.
125
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,421
You should consider your
wife competing for a belt.
126
00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:09,007
Well, she did look
like she knew what she
was doing up there.
127
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,316
Think about it.
Here's my card.
128
00:05:14,497 --> 00:05:15,931
What can I say?
129
00:05:15,999 --> 00:05:17,565
I really like watching her box.
130
00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:18,967
That means two things.
131
00:05:25,676 --> 00:05:28,643
Hey, Lois, congrats
on winning that
boxing match last night.
132
00:05:28,712 --> 00:05:30,339
I saw your picture
in The Daily Growl.
133
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,898
Brian, The Daily Growl
is not a real paper.
134
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,232
What? Yeah, it is.
135
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:37,719
I like that sound.
136
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,833
Mom, since when are you a boxer?
137
00:05:40,857 --> 00:05:42,123
I'm not, honey.
138
00:05:42,191 --> 00:05:44,959
Honestly, I don't know what
came over me last night.
139
00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:46,911
It was just one of
those crazy things
140
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,780
that sort of happened
after a few drinks.
141
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:49,931
Morning, everyone!
142
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,917
Morning, champ!
You feeling loose, today?
143
00:05:51,969 --> 00:05:53,463
Peter, what are you doing?
144
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,647
What is all this?
145
00:05:54,671 --> 00:05:56,088
I'm a fight promoter now.
146
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,539
And I got you another fight.
147
00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,608
You're boxing tonight
at the Quahog Civic Center.
148
00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:01,053
Are you out of your mind?
149
00:06:01,077 --> 00:06:03,890
No, Peter That was
a one-time thing,
all right?
150
00:06:03,914 --> 00:06:06,626
I am not a boxer,
and I'm not fighting
anyone else.
151
00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:07,744
And that's final.
152
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,367
All right, well,
how about this, then?
153
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,903
I'll take you somewhere
real fancy and romantic
for dinner,
154
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,271
just the two of us.
155
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,540
And in return, I get to try
and convince you to fight.
156
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,670
Well, going out for
dinner would be nice.
157
00:06:17,694 --> 00:06:20,027
But I'm not changing my mind.
158
00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:22,998
Oh, gosh, I can't wait to
see this fancy restaurant.
159
00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:25,116
Oh, you're gonna love it, Lois.
160
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,686
Here, put on these
special eating gloves
I bought you.
161
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:30,449
Why do I need
to wear gloves to eat
in a fancy restaurant?
162
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,924
Because it's so fancy that...
163
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,120
You know what?
I'm tired of this.
164
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,543
I booked you a boxing match.
165
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:37,362
Son of a bitch!
Damn it, Peter.
166
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,898
I told you, I don't
want to be a boxer!
167
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,510
Who the hell do
you think you are?
168
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,101
There you go!
Use that anger!
169
00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:44,681
Hey, remember when
I said I think it's hot
170
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,438
when you wear a sports bra
and gym shorts
171
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:47,539
underneath your dress?
172
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,568
Yeah?
Now, put these shoes on.
173
00:06:49,593 --> 00:06:50,793
Stop it, you jackass!
174
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,987
I told you, I'm not fighting!
175
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,982
I'm sorry, there's
been a terrible mistake.
176
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,928
My idiot husband
here booked this match
177
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,613
without my knowledge...
178
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:03,255
- She's from the Ukraine, Lois!
- She doesn't speak English!
179
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:04,434
All right.
180
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,371
She's from
the other part of
the Ukraine!
181
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,595
It's a different dialect!
182
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:15,050
One, two, three.
183
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,805
Hey! What you
doing down there, Lois?
184
00:07:22,559 --> 00:07:23,692
What's the matter?
185
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,593
Mad at little old me?
186
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:28,780
In your imagination,
I've got long eyelashes.
187
00:07:54,658 --> 00:07:57,108
One! Two! Three!
188
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,271
Did you know where
the Ukraine was
because of my globe?
189
00:07:59,295 --> 00:08:00,795
No, I saw it in a book.
190
00:08:00,864 --> 00:08:03,831
You knew 'cause of
my globe, you dick.
191
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,134
Eight! Nine! Ten!
192
00:08:06,203 --> 00:08:07,819
We have a winner!
193
00:08:09,273 --> 00:08:11,033
Well, what do you
think of that, Lois?
194
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,218
You still mad at me now?
195
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,058
Peter! I feel great!
196
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,261
I've never felt so in control.
197
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,628
I know the feeling.
198
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,508
It's how I feel
when I burp really loud
199
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,277
in an underground
parking structure
200
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,800
to assert my dominance.
201
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:26,838
Says the king.
202
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,072
All right, kids,
I'm off to train
at the gym.
203
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,947
Jeez, Lois,
you're really taking
this seriously, huh?
204
00:08:35,999 --> 00:08:37,843
Well, yeah, Brian,
why wouldn't I?
205
00:08:37,867 --> 00:08:39,167
I don't know, you've just never
206
00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:40,512
really been the aggressive type.
207
00:08:40,536 --> 00:08:43,404
I mean, you're usually
so measured and collected.
208
00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:46,407
I know, Brian, but when
I stepped into that ring,
209
00:08:46,476 --> 00:08:49,177
I don't know,
something happened to me.
210
00:08:49,246 --> 00:08:51,712
It's like I tapped into
this primal wellspring
211
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,693
of pent-up anger
that just needed
to be released.
212
00:08:54,717 --> 00:08:56,784
Really? What do you
have to be angry about?
213
00:08:57,687 --> 00:09:00,271
Where are my flapjacks?
214
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,556
Huh?
215
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,926
You will recall, last night,
ere I drifted off into slumber
216
00:09:04,994 --> 00:09:07,228
with a nudie magazine
betwixt my legs,
217
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,763
I spake thusly,
218
00:09:08,832 --> 00:09:11,333
"Lois, tomorrow morning,
I want flapjacks."
219
00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:14,485
It was a simple message,
yet it has gone unheeded.
220
00:09:15,938 --> 00:09:17,916
All right, Peter,
give me a minute.
221
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:20,392
For every five seconds
I do not have flapjacks,
222
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,394
I shall break one window.
223
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,231
Uh-huh. Look, Lois,
it just seems to me
224
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,300
that this isn't necessarily
the healthiest thing
225
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,648
for a woman your
age to be doing.
226
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,216
Brian, I'm 42,
I'm in the prime
of my life,
227
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,951
and this is what
I want right now.
228
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:35,975
You're sure about that?
229
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,038
Meg, go make your
father some flapjacks.
230
00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,428
Okay, Mom.
231
00:09:42,132 --> 00:09:44,776
This is crazy!
Is nobody really
making me flapjacks yet?
232
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,068
At this point,
you guys are being as
irresponsible as I am!
233
00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:06,504
♪ Gonna fly now
234
00:10:08,058 --> 00:10:11,659
♪ Flying high now
235
00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:16,464
♪ Gonna fly
236
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,919
♪ Fly
237
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,504
♪ Fly ♪
238
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,925
Well, it's broken, all right.
239
00:10:32,949 --> 00:10:34,160
Well, you got to fix her, Doc.
240
00:10:34,184 --> 00:10:35,228
There's a big fight coming up.
241
00:10:35,252 --> 00:10:36,701
She's got to defend her title.
242
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,898
Look, Peter,
I don't think there's
gonna be any fight.
243
00:10:38,922 --> 00:10:39,965
What are you talking about?
244
00:10:39,989 --> 00:10:42,223
Look at me.
I got a broken nose.
245
00:10:42,292 --> 00:10:44,003
I think this is
a sign that maybe
246
00:10:44,027 --> 00:10:45,704
it's time to hang up the gloves.
247
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,178
What are you, out of your mind?
248
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,108
Don't you give me
that attitude, Peter.
249
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:51,799
Look, Lois, we're
making a lot of cash
with this boxing thing.
250
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,218
And I need money
for bourbon and anime.
251
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,349
Well, I just
can't understand any of this.
252
00:10:56,373 --> 00:11:00,975
Everybody in Japan
is either a 10-year-old
girl or a monster.
253
00:11:01,044 --> 00:11:02,821
I don't care about
the money, Peter!
254
00:11:02,845 --> 00:11:04,478
I don't care about boxing!
255
00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:06,158
The only reason I did
this in the first place
256
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:08,094
was 'cause of you!
What do you mean?
257
00:11:08,118 --> 00:11:10,229
Peter, sometimes
you're so insensitive,
258
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:13,455
and you make me so angry,
I just want to
clock you in the jaw.
259
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:16,941
Obviously, I can't do that,
so boxing was an outlet.
260
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,361
Wait, you mean the reason
you fight so good is...
261
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:23,276
Yeah, 'cause
I'm making believe
I'm fighting you!
262
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:26,567
Wow. Am I that much
of a bastard?
263
00:11:26,636 --> 00:11:28,103
Sometimes, yes.
264
00:11:28,171 --> 00:11:31,022
Jeez, Lois, I'm sorry.
265
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:33,758
I mean, I don't
mean to be, I just...
266
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:37,828
Look, if you don't
want to fight anymore,
you don't have to.
267
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,530
Well, good.
268
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,610
And the truth is,
I suppose I kind of got
269
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:44,034
most of it out of
my system anyway.
270
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,753
I love you, Lois.
271
00:11:45,822 --> 00:11:47,906
I love you, too, Peter.
272
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:51,374
Is it cool if I tell
your insurance that I
gave you heart surgery?
273
00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:57,682
Ladies and gentlemen,
in honor of her retirement
274
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,818
after 17 consecutive victories,
275
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:05,289
I hereby dedicate this statue
to Quahog's greatest fighter,
276
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,958
Lois Griffin!
277
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:15,115
I'm also havinga celebratory keg partyback at my house later.
278
00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:18,853
You can tell your parents
that my parents will be there.
279
00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:20,738
But they won't be.
280
00:12:22,425 --> 00:12:26,027
And now a few words
from Lois Griffin herself.
281
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,246
Thank you so much
for coming, everyone,
282
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:32,717
and thank you foralways cheering me onat all my fights.
283
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,866
Hey, Griffin!
284
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,716
Oh, my God,
that's Deirdre Jackson!
285
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:38,907
Who's that?
286
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,453
Only the deadliest
fighter in all
of women's boxing.
287
00:12:41,477 --> 00:12:43,573
She's killed three
people in the ring.
288
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,046
Her fists are so dangerous,
289
00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:47,448
she's not allowed
to be a lesbian.
290
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,228
I know why you're
retiring, Griffin!
291
00:12:49,252 --> 00:12:50,296
You're scared!
292
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:51,836
Scared? Of what?
293
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:53,520
Of me! Look at these people,
294
00:12:53,589 --> 00:12:55,890
giving you a statue
for fighting a bunch of bums!
295
00:12:55,958 --> 00:12:58,755
If you're so great,
why don't you prove it?
Fight me!
296
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,995
Look, I don't need
to prove anything.
297
00:13:01,064 --> 00:13:03,814
I'm retired, and that's
the way it's gonna stay.
298
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:06,667
Oh, yeah? Hey, man,
you want a real woman?
299
00:13:06,736 --> 00:13:09,381
Why don't you bring
your pretty little self
over to my apartment tonight,
300
00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:11,433
and I'll show you a real woman?
301
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:12,840
I'm ashamed!
302
00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:15,042
Hey, that's my
husband you're talking to!
303
00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:17,089
Yeah?
Well, what are you
gonna do about it?
304
00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:18,156
You gonna fight me?
305
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:19,280
Look, I already said...
306
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:20,893
Get down on your
hands and knees, fatty!
307
00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:22,166
Yeah! Yes, sir!
308
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,055
Look at me, Griffin,
I'm milking me a cow!
309
00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:28,222
Moo for me!
310
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:29,402
Moo.
Louder!
311
00:13:29,426 --> 00:13:30,569
Moo!
Louder!
312
00:13:30,593 --> 00:13:32,104
Moo!
Louder!
313
00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:33,510
Moo!
314
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:34,813
All right, that's it!
315
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:37,031
You want a fight?
You got one!
316
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:40,301
Now, you get your hands
off my man before
I break them off!
317
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:43,938
Fuck, it's my parents!
318
00:13:44,007 --> 00:13:46,807
The party's off, everybody!
Get the fuck out of here!
319
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:54,760
Good evening.
I'm Tom Tucker.
320
00:13:54,784 --> 00:13:56,362
Coming up next, a boxing match
321
00:13:56,386 --> 00:13:59,048
where the fightersare bleeding beforethe fight?
322
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:02,018
We've got exclusivecoverage of tonight'swomen's boxing bout,
323
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,958
Griffin versus Jackson.
324
00:14:04,027 --> 00:14:07,111
We're here live withcontender Deirdre Jacksonoutside her dressing room.
325
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,147
Deirdre, is it trueyou've killed threewomen in the ring?
326
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,127
Tonight it's gonna be four.
327
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,585
Are you saying you intend
to kill your opponent?
328
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:18,056
Let's just sayyou don't want tomiss round six.
329
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:20,291
Lois, you can't go out there!
330
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,776
What? Why not?
331
00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:23,256
Because if you
step into that ring,
332
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,345
she's gonna kill you.
333
00:14:24,414 --> 00:14:25,763
No, she's not, Peter.
334
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,476
What the hell
kind of talk is that?
335
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,094
Now, I'm gonna win this thing.
336
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,985
Look, Lois, you don't
have to do this for me.
337
00:14:31,053 --> 00:14:32,569
I know I make you mad sometimes,
338
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:35,022
but I thought we agreed
you'd hang up the gloves.
339
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:38,176
I'll hang up the gloves
after I knock her ass out.
340
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:39,888
Peter, she milked your boobs,
341
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,924
and there were
a lot of people
I knew there.
342
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,148
Now, let's go.
343
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,900
Butt scratcher!
344
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,802
Get your butt scratcher here!
345
00:14:48,871 --> 00:14:50,911
Now, since this is
a televised boxing match,
346
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,718
I'm gonna be joined
by a horribly disfigured
former fighter
347
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:56,360
providing barely intelligible
commentary throughout.
348
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,974
Any thoughts
on the fight, Floyd?
349
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,331
I think that they're gonna have,
350
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,433
they are gonna be fighting
Deirdre's last fight
351
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,435
in the contrast to the later one
352
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,371
is gonna be better than usually.
353
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,517
And how do you think
that helps her
chances tonight?
354
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:12,343
Well, the match lasting
the bout up until
the particular inaccuracy,
355
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:16,147
particular unusually that
should be the ultimate
determining factor
356
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,249
in about the
12-round experience,
357
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,318
the heart of
a champion margarine hat.
358
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,931
Well, we'll be
watching for that.
359
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,532
We'll be checking in
with you throughout
the night, Floyd.
360
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,023
And happy 23rd birthday.
361
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,290
You're welcome.
362
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:31,545
Ladies and gentlemen,may I have yourattention, please?
363
00:15:31,614 --> 00:15:33,748
Introducing tonight's fighters.
364
00:15:33,816 --> 00:15:37,718
In this corner,
weighing in at 134 pounds,
365
00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:40,554
the top-ranked boxer
in all of Rhode Island,
366
00:15:40,623 --> 00:15:43,957
Deirdre "Action" Jackson!
367
00:15:49,065 --> 00:15:52,033
I think every Italian
in Quahog is here.
368
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:53,717
Yeah! Go, white girl!
369
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,604
Hey, yo, you're getting
your grinder on my grinder!
370
00:15:56,672 --> 00:16:00,841
And in this corner,
weighing in at 130 pounds,
371
00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:05,146
it's the Ovarian Barbarian
and the Breast of All Time,
372
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,215
let's put our hands together
for Quahog's own
373
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:10,417
Lois Griffin!
374
00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:15,206
Okay, here's the rules.
375
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,957
No hitting below the belt,
376
00:16:17,026 --> 00:16:19,727
no rabbit punches,
no name calling,
377
00:16:19,796 --> 00:16:22,129
no making trouble
for unconventional couples
378
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,465
who want to adopt babies,
'cause you know what?
379
00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:26,574
They ain't getting
the good babies, anyways.
380
00:16:26,603 --> 00:16:28,302
Okay, have a fun fight.
381
00:16:28,371 --> 00:16:29,870
Ding, ding.
382
00:16:34,143 --> 00:16:36,877
You think you're tough?
Well, let's see what you got!
383
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,705
Wow, she's really
hitting Mom hard.
384
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:05,872
Good.
385
00:17:14,917 --> 00:17:16,495
How you feeling, Lois?
386
00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:20,821
She... She's too...
She's too strong, Joe.
387
00:17:20,889 --> 00:17:22,902
I don't stand
a chance out there.
388
00:17:22,926 --> 00:17:24,953
All right, Lois, you listen
to me and you listen good.
389
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,738
I held your hand
during childbirth,
390
00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:29,430
I watched you raise three kids
on a shoestring budget,
391
00:17:29,499 --> 00:17:32,049
you never gave up then,
and you're not giving up now!
392
00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:34,246
Because you're
the toughest woman
I've ever met.
393
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,270
And if there was
a hall of fame for hearts,
394
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,772
yours would be the biggest one
in the whole damn building!
395
00:17:38,841 --> 00:17:40,569
Peter, you're
in the wrong corner!
396
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,060
Ah.
397
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,189
All right, Lois, you listen
to me and you listen good.
398
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:45,613
Damn it!
399
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,602
Shut up!
400
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,386
Everybody shut up!
401
00:17:52,455 --> 00:17:54,222
This took a lot of courage!
402
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,824
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
here we are at round six,
403
00:17:56,892 --> 00:18:00,093
the round that
Deirdre Jackson predicted
she'd kill Lois Griffin.
404
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,308
What do you think,
Floyd, is she gonna make
good on that promise?
405
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:05,700
A broken promise is a lot
like a child's pinwheel.
406
00:18:05,768 --> 00:18:09,370
You have to be yourself,
or at least within
the confines.
407
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,795
All right, well,
let's see what's
going on in the ring.
408
00:18:18,114 --> 00:18:19,513
Finish this.
409
00:18:47,010 --> 00:18:50,027
One, two...
410
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:53,380
Lois, stay down. Don't get up.
You've got nothing to prove.
411
00:18:53,449 --> 00:18:55,382
Five, six...
412
00:18:55,451 --> 00:18:57,250
You get up, you die!
413
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,405
I've had enough of you!
414
00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:41,529
♪ Risin' up
415
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:44,398
♪ Back on the street
416
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:47,234
♪ Did my time,
took my chances ♪
417
00:19:47,303 --> 00:19:48,983
Get out of here.
Yeah, okay.
418
00:20:01,817 --> 00:20:03,817
You're going down, Griffin!
419
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,938
Not tonight, I'm not!
420
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,844
Lois! You did it!
421
00:20:30,913 --> 00:20:32,663
I love you so much!
422
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,514
And the winner is
423
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,851
Lois Griffin!
424
00:20:36,919 --> 00:20:39,531
Now, if everyone couldjust pick up two chairsbefore you leave,
425
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:41,866
we can get this place
cleaned up a lot quicker.
426
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,601
Wow. Well, what do
you think, Floyd?
427
00:20:43,625 --> 00:20:46,571
How did Lois Griffin
do what no other
challenger could do
428
00:20:46,595 --> 00:20:48,106
and knock out Deirdre Jackson?
429
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:51,531
I have a strong
headache when I go
to sleep and wake up.
430
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,712
And how do you think
that's going to affect
Jackson's next fight?
431
00:20:53,736 --> 00:20:55,870
My Puerto Rican wife got fat.
432
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,289
Well, I got to be honest,
Lois, I had my doubts,
433
00:21:04,313 --> 00:21:06,491
but you really held
your own in that ring.
434
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:09,500
Thanks, Brian.
It was nice to
go out a champion.
435
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,529
Well, we're real
proud of you, Lois.
436
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:13,971
And thanks to Deirdre,
I even got some of my own milk
437
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,422
to put on my cereal.
438
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,225
Dad, come on!
439
00:21:18,294 --> 00:21:19,538
Peter!
For crying out loud!
440
00:21:19,562 --> 00:21:20,727
What? I'm fun.
441
00:21:58,100 --> 00:21:59,180
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