Original subtitles

Billy I God's sake, you're gettin' as bad as Fitz, c'mon.

Yeah, let's go, Bill. Do something.

Swing at it, throw it, eat it, something!

What do you guys say we play for a little cash today?

You don't have any cash.

I will after 18 holes. Twenty bucks a hole?

Gimme four shots a side.

Whatever you need, Wallace.

Okay, you on.

How's everybody doing?

All five you guys playing this morning?

Right.

Usually we only play foursomes.

We cleared it with the Starter.

You did, huh?

Check with him. Go ahead.

Well, we're gonna be busy today,

so y'all keep it moving out there, all right?

Another thing. The course is a little damp.

Damp! Let's go, fellas!

Keep the lines straight on the fairway!

The little pricks better let us play through!

What the hell's taking 'em so long?

Damn it!

I'm supposed to meet Elizabeth. These clowns are gonna make me late.

How's Elizabeth doing?

I'm a hitting 'em.

These little farts, they need a damn lift.

Hey! What the hell!

Yell fore, dude!

Fore!

C'mon, you better get a move on.

Whatever, dude.

Screw those guys, man. Let's go.

All right. With this hole I'm gonna be up, uh,

couple hundred bucks at least, right?

You guys are making it very easy for me not to have a job.

You don't need any help not having a job.

You do that all by yourself.

Lazy bastard.

And you wonder why my daughter got rid a you.

Hey, that was a mutual break up, all right?

And, uh, don't worry, Fitz. She'll come back around.

Who says I want her to?

Oh, that's on.

Yeah, on your ass.

Hey, watch it!

Why don't you let us through, Tiger?

I'm not gonna get stuck behind a bunch of old guys.

Hey, have a little respect.

Store your garbage, punk cola. We're playing through.

Like hell you arel

Hey, hey, go ahead and hit it, Richie.

N ice!

You guys have fun now.

Jesus Ohrist! Son of a bitch!

Wallace. Wallace, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm gonna have a little practice here. Hah, hah!

Oh, mighty, mighty.

Hey! You gotta be kidding me, man!

J ust move a little bit to the left. That's better.

C'mon guys. C'mon.

Whoa! Hey!

You got a problem, son?

Did he say son?

I've got enough hair on my ass to stuff 17 mattresses, and you call me son?

Well c'mon up here and get it I

C'mon. Bring your army and pack a lunch. Here we are.

Those young punks are about to get their asses kicked!

This is just like the old neighborhood in New York.

Hey, watch out I What's wrong with you guys?

Hey, hey. C'mon!

Hey, hey!

Fuck your old ass! Jesus!

Hey, hey, hey! C'mon, man.

Cut it out. Stop! Stop right there!

Where the hell did he come from?

I'm a damn member therel

It's a public course.

I spend over $ 100 a week there.

Who the hell does he think kicking us off the course?

C'mon, Wallace, we were taking aim at other golfers.

If those little pricks had let us play through, this wouldn't happen.

I remember this one time I was playing golf with Jack

and a couple of us tried the same thing. Jack told us to knock it off.

Few people know this. He's very polite.

Jack who?

Nicholson!

You played golf with Jack Nicholson?

Sure I did! Last summer. A perfect gentleman.

Shut up, Dominic.

Hi, sweetie.

How was golf, guys?

Don't ask.

Beautiful Elizabeth.

When are we going dancing again, huh?

I don't know. Laurent got pretty jealous the last time we danced.

Maybe tonight you should come alone.

I'd love to, but Laurent was hoping to take me and Dad out to dinner tonight.

What?

Why does Larry wanna take us out to dinner all of a sudden?

He don't bother with me any other time.

H is name is Laurent, not Larry.

And it's because I have some big news to tell you.

You're not moving away, are ya?

No, Larry's being deported.

Monday and no work, huh?

Is it Monday already?

What job did you get fired from this time?

I didn't get fired. There just wasn't any more work for me.

Yeah? And what work was that?

If you're really interested,

maybe we should go have a couple of cocktails and we'll talk about it.

Are you planning on growing up one of these days?

That's none of your business, is it?

Knock it off you two. The clubs stay.

Elizabeth, grab the shoes and let's go.

Enough of this nonsense.

Why do you still hang around with Billy? Isn't that getting weird?

Why? Because we're old?

No, because he's my ex-boyfriend.

He's a good kid. You oughta give him another chance.

I gave him enough chances when we were together.

And even now that we're not, he drives me crazy. He's so irresponsible!

Hey. Lighten up, sweetie. You know your mother liked him, too.

Dad, look, I know you like Billy

but you've really gotta give Laurent a chance.

Why? Because you think you're in love after three months?

C'mon, gimme a break.

Dad!

It's just that he gives me a weird feeling.

He looks like some guy that you would see on Court TV!

All right, you're right. You're right.

Where does Laurent wanna go eat?

La Petite Tet. He wants to show you French cuisine.

Oh, Christ, oh!

I can't do that gourmet fine dining crap, Liz.

I mean, you order a steak,

they bring you five tiny slices

drowned in some crap cream sauce with a bean draped over it.

They charge ya 60 bucks because it looks pretty.

I want food when I go out. Not a damn Picasso.

Dad!

No. It looks pretty, it does, but I'm talking about food!

I mean, I want something to eat.

Not something to hang on the wall.

If we go out, I'm picking.

Fine. But just remember, he's vegan.

Vegan? Oh, vegan. Don't they have a holiday coming up?

It's more like vegetarian, Dad.

Lighten up, kid. That was a joke.

And Dad?

Yes?

Can you be nice to him tonight?

Why? I'm always nice to Larry.

Liz? Sure you don't wanna get a hot dog or something?

A hot dog?

Tequila? See ya, Fitzy.

Why don't you give her a call?

You know, that sounds good.

So, what's this big news that we're celebrating?

What are you gonna do? You gonna get a bump in pay?

No. We're getting...

Real food! Hold that thought, hon.

This looks good.

Oh, thank you.

Can I get you folks anything else?

Absolutely not. This is perfect.

Oould I get some black pepper for my salad, please?

The pepper's on the table.

You don't have the fresh ground pepper?

Just eat!

No.

You've got to be kidding me.

' Fraid not, sugar.

You know, every time they cook it, it's perfect.

You see, this is a good restaurant.

Uh-huh.

Like I was saying, there's something I would...

I mean, we would like to tell you, Dad.

Yeah, what's that?

We're getting married.

Wha...

What?

I'm getting married.

It is good news, no?

Dad?

I don't know.

You just met. Married?

Do you even know each other enough to get married?

Of course we do. I'm older now and we're both mature adults.

We know what we want at this point in our lives, and that's each other.

Oh, Christ.

Waitress, can I have another one of these?

Dad. Don't start.

Jesus.

Well, you're getting engaged. Well, that's good.

Yeah.

That's fine. Yes!

You got another six, eight, thirty months to get to know each other, right?

Um, we're... we're getting married this weekend in Las Vegas.

This weekend?

Yeah.

I think I'm having a heart attack.

You're not having a heart attack.

But as a little girl all you ever talked about

was having a big church wedding.

Is this your idea?

No, it was mine!

Did he get you pregnant?

Nol

Dad, look, this is just so he doesn't have to leave.

Oh, there it is.

Dad, hold up.

That's it. I get it now.

Yes! The reason!

Now I get it I

But I would really like it if you were there.

You can bring the guys of course, but not Billy.

Good job, Larry, way to seal up the old citizenship.

Dad, it was my idea to do this. He tried talking me out of it.

I'm sure he did.

Welcome to America, Larry. I gotta go.

Monsieur Fitzgerald, please. I am in love with your daughter.

I assure you I'm not using Liz for citizenship.

Citizenship.

I got news for you. You're gonna be an American.

You should know when trouble comes knocking on the door,

Americans don't roll over.

Dad.

Monsieur Fitzgerald. Monsieur Fi...

It could have gone a little better, I think.

Oh, very sorry to do this again, Wallace.

Break out the cash.

C'mon. Gimme, gimme.

Thank you, I will take that.

Hey, Candace, get another round for my friends here.

What, did you lose again?

Wallace, when are you gonna learn? He's too good!

Well, I do better than you. Wait 'till I get in shape. I used to be the best.

Used to be, but now you're old and that's over with. Hey, Fitzy's here finally.

Did you bring some money Fitz?

Not tonight.

I got some lovely ladies here dying to meet the owner of this place.

I'm not in the mood, Dom.

Who are those drinks gonna be on over there?

Put it on Wallace's tab.

Hey! What's wrong?

She's getting married.

Who?

Liz, who do you think?

About gosh darn time. She's going on 44 years old.

She's marrying this guy in Las Vegas this weekend.

I love Vegas! When are we leaving?

I got two words for you. Tits and ass.

Hold on a second. This weekend? Liz agreed to that?

It was her idea. This kid, she's making me crazy.

Look, you gotta do something, Fitz. You can't let that happen.

I tried, but she's hell bent on marrying this clown.

Didn't they even think how much more damn expensive it is

to buy airplane tickets on such short notice?

Wait a second. I ain't flying.

Who the hell said you're invited?

C'mon, Wallace, it'll be fun.

I don't do planes. Not a chance.

Well, I gotta get there somehow.

What do you want me to do, drive?

Do you know how long a drive it is from here to Las Vegas?

I'm not driving.

And like hell if I'm getting into a car with you driving.

And I'm not arriving in Las Vegas on some Greyhound bus.

I know people there.

Listen. I'll take care of the travel plans.

I'm sorry kid, but she don't want you there.

Well, maybe not, but you do.

I'll handle it, all right? Meet me at your place tomorrow morning.

Hey, guysl What's going on?

Pack your bags, Marvin, we're hittin' the road.

Where we headed?

Las Vegas.

Okay, boys, ready to go?

What the hell is this thing?

What is it? It's a geriatric center on wheels. What's it look like?

Let's go.

This thing's got to be more expensive than flying.

Actually, Marv, it's not so bad.

This trip is gonna be fun!

Who's paying for this?

Don't worry about it. Get on the bus.

I appreciate all this, Billy, but probably, uh, you should stay here.

Fitz, c'mon. It's Vegas, right?

We'll tell her I showed up for an unemployment convention or something.

U nemployment convention? Okay, leave it to you to make it worse.

All right, let's go.

Look at this, will ya? We've got our own lavatory.

This is like the bus I was on with Elvis and the Oolonel back in the '60s.

That's Elvis and the Colonel, huh?

I could get used to this.

All right, who needs one?

Me.

Here you go. Anybody?

Hope you guys are ready for a little fun on the way to Vegas.

First stop is South Beach.

Kid, you read my mind!

Good afternoon, and welcome to the SS Fun Ship.

I'm Antoine, and I'm gonna be your driver all the way to Sin Oity.

Now, if you guys need anything,

please don't hesitate to call me up on the phones

which are located fore and aft,

or come up and open up my little curtain and say my name.

God!

Jesus God, we got a gay boy on wheels.

That should make you happy, Wall.

All right, you remembered to bring the Viagra?

The kids steal all of mine.

Don't need the stuff.

How about you, Fitz?

Candy.

Oh-hoh!

M m-mmm, mmm!

Wow!

Gentlemen, you gotta see this.

Hey, if, uh, we're gonna stay here all night,

I know this crazy little club that my friends and I like to go to.

You can come too if you want.

Yeah, I don't think so, sweetie.

We're leaving tonight.

I'm gonna cut the boys loose for a little while.

Be back around midnight, okay?

Why don't you wanna stay?

Because we got a long way to go and we can sleep on the damn bus.

Fine. But remember one thing.

What's done in South Beach, stays in South Beach.

Oh!

What the hell kind of place is this?

This is heaven. That's what it is.

I could tell you stories about Ouban women that'll make your head spin.

Look at the cans on this beauty.

Yeah! Let's retire here!

Welcome to South Beach, old guys, enjoy yourselves.

Hey, where you goin'?

I gotta pick up a little wedding gift.

C'mon, what are ya up to?

J ust meet me at Mango's later, all right?

It ain't a gay place, is it?

I ain't going nowhere with that driver. That's for damn sure.

Where is it?

Across the street, can't miss it.

I know the place, so keep an eye on Wallace.

U p yours, skinny.

U h, she left DiMaggio shortly thereafter,

so, uh, you tell me.

You see them two over there?

Who are they?

Don't you recognize them?

No.

How old are you?

I'm 22.

I'm 21.

I'm 21, too.

Marvin, can you believe this?

What would we do to be young again?

You feel out of place here?

Hell, no. I was invited by Johnnie Walker.

You know, it's because of guys like you and me that fought the war...

We didn't fight any wars, you jerk.

I was too young for World War I I and too old for Vietnam.

I'm trying to make a damn point here.

It would be fun to be young again. I mean, wooh!

Lt'd be fun if we had the money that we have now.

You're right, you're right, you got a point.

I'm not gonna argue with you but... wait a minute. Hold the phone!

Look at Dominic.

He's got all chicks around him.

Where's my drink?

Here you go, babe.

Oh, I just love it when you call me babe.

No problem, babe.

C'mon.

I'll show you some friends of mine over here.

H i, I'm Cristina.

I'm Monique.

Hey!

Cristina? Yes, yes? And Monica?

Monique.

Beautiful names.

We were wondering if you are who we think you are.

Who's that?

Paul Newman. And Kirk Douglas.

That's us, yeah!

So, you wanna dance?

Are you kidding? Start moving it, cookie.

Billy's here.

Billy! Get your ass out here.

Excuse me! You said midnight.

I've been waiting here for two hours,

and I don't think I'm gonna be able to drive that much further.

Oh, sugar, you'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

You're drunk.

Hey, do we have everybody? Let's go. Where's Wallace?

Wallace!

Here!

Wallace, put that thing back in your pants.

You can do that on the bus.

Oh, my sweeties, oh-hoh hoh. Oh, Lord have mercy!

Here we go.

Hey, hey, hey. U h, they can't... They can't come, Wallace.

What?

The girls, they can't go.

I mean, unless, uh... No, no, they can't go.

Oh, sweetheart.

Oh, Kirky.

Will you call me?

I'll send you a card to Mango's. All right.

I could've been a champ.

What do you want?

Where, where are we?

We're lost. How the hell do I know where we are?

I'm sleeping just like you. Now, let me sleep.

Wallace, great.

Where are we? What the hell's going on?

How ya doin'?

Oh God! Ah, Jesus, gah!

Would you stop making noise? People are trying to sleep.

Where are we?

We gotta get rid of this guy.

Oh, would you stop making trouble? We're trying to sleep here.

Take a gander.

No, you're seeing things.

Yeah, you'll see. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I wouldn't go in there if I was you, Fitzy.

Jesus! Whoa!

Bill?

I think we got a problem.

What?

Hey, Billy, look, either he goes

or you go on alone, because this has turned into a bad reality show.

I gotta go along with Wallace.

Liberace just got voted off the island.

We're going on a potty break.

I cannot believe that those guys ditched me.

Are they serious? Are they freaking serious about this?

I'm gonna get in big trouble for this.

What are we gonna do?

Pick up the phone, Murphy.

What?

Murphy, listen to me.

Antoine, what the hell? It's seven...

Shut up, Murphy, and listen to me.

I'm in real trouble with these guys.

They had me tied up in a small town in...

Hello? 'Toine?

'Toine!

Why did you do that?

Doesn't this feel like it was supposed to happen?

What do you mean?

Well, first of all, we meet in M iami in a club.

I don't even go to clubs.

I never go to clubs.

I hate clubs. They're disgusting.

Then, we're heading for Vegas on a bus. I would never go to Vegas.

I loathe Vegas.

Who wants to stand in front of a fountain

and get pissed on by a five million-dollar water show?

So then we get left here by those wrinkly old bastards

in the middle of nowhere to fend for ourselves.

This was supposed to happen. This is destiny.

What, this?

This, the whole... It's all destiny.

Guess what I brought? Look what I brought, look!

La, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la.

No. No, no, no, no. There's people around here.

I always travel with protection. J ust go with me on this.

Trust me, we're gonna have some fun and I feel something coming on,

and I gotta do it and it's not a song.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Can I have your attention please?

Sir, can I have your attention? Get out of there.

J ust sit over there. Sit, sit right there.

Here, take your coffee. Go ahead, go. Go sit down.

Go ahead. Listen to me.

We're gonna play a game of Simon Says.

Do exactly as Simon Says, and I am Simon.

Listen. Simon Says everybody be calm and be cool.

Don't turn me, I'm not done yet. Turn me back.

Simon says put your hands on the table where I can see 'em.

All right. Now, turn me. Turn me now.

Yo, Captain Crunch, give me the money in the register.

Give me the money in the register.

This guy's not giving me the money.

You have to say "Simon Says. "

I don't have to say "Simon Says. " It's a joke. J ust gimme the money.

Thank you. Yo, Tex,

Simon says, gimme the keys to your car.

I saw you come in with the red car. I'm taking the car.

Thank you very much. Turn me around.

Excuse me, sir. Okay, thank you! Enjoy your breakfast!

I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

I can't believe we did that!

I can't either. That was awesome. What a rush! Oh!

We were so good. Did you... Ow! My tit!

You were so good. You didn't even flinch.

You didn't even move. It was great!

You're such a little fugitive.

You are too now!

I like you!

I like you, too. We travel well together. Here, hold the gun.

Hold the money. We're in a convertible.

Hold the money. Hold the money I

Wallace, wake up! Wake up!

What the hell? I'm trying to drive here.

Wallacel What are you doing?

You could have killed us, you moron.

What the hell are you talking about?

I've driven rigs through tornadoes, hurricanes,

and snow storms and blizzards. Jesus Christ!

Don't you ever tell me I don't know how to drive.

Take a look, you're gonna roll over the...

Flat, damn I Looks like you boys are havin' a party up in here.

Not really, Earl. This old bastard fell asleep at the wheel.

Sleep my ass.A great big panther ran right in front of the bus.

That was no panther, you moron. It was a possum.

It was a panther chasing a possum.

I had a possum once.

Name was Bill.

Earl? Where the hell are we?

Great state of Mississippi.

How far is New Orleans from here?

Well, that all depends. Keep this puppy on the pavement

and just try to outrun them panthers

and you're only about two hours away.

Get a whole herd of 'em behind you and you'll make it in about half an hour.

Panther. Wait a minute.

I went down there to that New Orleans zoo one time.

Woke up there drunk and half naked.

But I've seen a jaguar up in there. You don't reckon it's a jaguar, do you?

Hand me the chain, dear.

Yeah.

Well, uh, if Wallace can get us there, my nephew will put us up.

Oh! Has Germaine moved back to New Orleans?

Yeah, five years ago.

So, Wallace, think you can make it to New Orleans?

I once made a run from Jersey to Idaho without a stop

except to piss and gas up.

What the kid wants to know is, can you make it two hours without falling asleep again?

Your nephew must be Richie Rich.

Something like that.

Can I help you?

We're here to see Germaine.

Who?

Flow.

Nah, he ain't home.

'Oourse he is.

No, he ain't. Take this thing and get it up outta here.

Do I look like a groupie to you?

What?

I said, " Do I look like a groupie to you?"

I know he's at home. I see his car sitting there.

Man, who are you?

Tell him his U ncle Marvin is here, please?

Hold up, Pops.

Marvin's related to The Flow.

The who?

The Fl... how old are you guys? The Flow.

He's the biggest rapper right now.

I know The Flow. He's a nice kid.

How would you...

Yo, it's cool. You all right. Come on in.

Thank you.

No problem. Come on in, baby.

Marvin, are you sure that we should be here?

Hell, yeah. My nephew worked his way out of the ghetto so we could be here.

U ncle Marv! What's up, man?

Germaine, get on over here and give your uncle a hug.

It's good to see you, buddy.

It's been a long time.

My buddies and I, we on our way to Vegas

and we need a place to crash for the night if that's cool with you.

Ah, hell, yeah, man! I got rooms here I ain't even seen yet.

These your boys?

Yeah, these my road dogs. Wallace.

Billy.

Fitzy.

And, uh, you remember Dominic?

Dr. Dom! What's up, colonel?

All right, mi casa es su casa.

Y'all make yourselves at home.

Hey, everybody, this is my U ncle Marv and his crew.

Y'all make 'em feel welcome.

Marv, this is surreal, man.

Oh, here, let me help you.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You, cherie, sit.

Are you sure there's nothing I can do?

No. You just do exactly what you are doing.

But I'm not doing anything.

Ah, but you are.

You are being beautiful.

Thank you.

Everything looks wonderful.

No one's ever done anything like this for me before.

This is only the beginning, my Elizabeth.

I'm going to treat you like a queen for the rest of your life.

To the beginning of our wonderful new life together.

Oh, my God! I can't believe you just did that.

I saw that once in a movie.

What movie?

Funny Girl.

I'm at my bed.

And the tug boat pulls out.

I love that movie.

Well, you got some way out here, Germaine.

I'm gonna go check out the pool with Chantelle here.

Mr. Flow, what the hell should I call you?

The Flow? Master Flow? Germaine?

Forget about it, Wallace, man. Flow is fine.

So y'all going to Vegas, huh?

Yeah. Fitzy's daughter is marrying a French man.

Yo, I'm sorry to hear that, sir.

Yeah, tell me about it.

This is good stuff!

At $300 a bottle it better be good.

No, go ahead. Knock yourself out. We don't even touch that.

Fitzy, you gotta try this.

Look here, my hand's shaking. This is a $300 bottle.

Whooh whoo-hoo, yes!

Whoo.

Hold on, hold on.

I want you guys to check something out. Listen to this.

Is this new?

Yeah.

I like it.

Yeah, me, too.

I like it 'cause it's different.

What about you?

So, what you think?

You want me to be honest?

I expect nothin' less.

It's a killer song. It's a great song, but, um,

if you want my opinion, the mix is kinda all over the place.

It's all lows and highs. No mid range, man.

I mean, it needs to be tweaked a little bit.

That's damn interesting

'cause I got one of the best guys in the business working on that.

Well, he's not really earning his pay, Flow.

He could be better. Do you have the master?

I'll show you exactly what I'm talking about.

See what you think of the song.

You see, it's just got more meat on its bones now.

I feel like, you know what I mean?

There's a couple other little things that I would do before I mastered it,

but that's the general idea.

Somebody's ass is fired!

Where the hell was you when I did my last record?

He was probably hung over on the beach.

Billy! My boy! Where did you learn to do that?

This is what I do, Fitz.

You have a job?

Hell, yeah, he does, right here.

We gotta talk before y'all leave, you know.

Hell, why don't y'all stay 'till tomorrow?

We got a concert downtown with Q93.

Uncle Marv, you could sit in with the band,

and y'all can hang backstage and have a good ole' time.

Sounds good to me.

We don't have time to stick around.

Sure, we do. We leave tomorrow night.

I don't trust you driving at night.

Why not? It's the morning you gotta worry about.

Girls, 15-minute break.

Check it out.

Well, hello, ladies.

Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm and nobody will get hurt.

Just do what he said.

Girls, keep your cookies in your panties and no one gets hurt.

You, gimme the money. C'mon, you dominant dead-eyed bastard.

Don't move. Don't move.

Gimme the money. Take that.

Stop smiling, Davy Crocket. C'mon, let's go.

I like these.

Take that. Go get a T-shirt. Get that one.

The blue's nice for you, too. All right? Put your money back.

Thank you.

So, I was here for Mardi Gras in 1968

and Marvin was playing in this little club down on Bourbon Street.

And in walks Louis Armstrong

and he says to me and Marvin

that he wants us to join him on the Zulu Float

in the parade the next morning.

Just like that?

Just like that. So, there I am...

Hey, Fitzy, wassup?

Oh. Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were out here.

That's cool, man. Have a seat.

It's nice out here.

It's real nice out here, man.

It's the only place I can get away sometimes.

What do you wanna get away from?

This is the life, isn't it?

I'm 35 years old, man. I got kids, Fitzy.

I just do this for the homies now.

Look like you got a lot on your mind.

Still worried about your daughter?

Yeah. Kids.

I shouldn't be worried about her, but I am.

I think that she's making a big mistake.

Why's that?

I don't know. I only know one thing.

I know what's good for her.

And my instinct tells me that this guy is not right.

I can understand that.

Is he a bad guy?

He doesn't seem to be.

Doesn't seem to be? How much you know about this guy?

Not much. They only been together for three months.

So, for all you know, he could be a great guy.

For all I know he could be using her.

True.

But the point is you don't know.

No.

Exactly. So you're filling in the holes with what you want.

And what you wanna see is that he's the wrong guy

because you're set on what you want

without giving any thought to what she wants.

How did you figure this out?

Oprah and Dr. Phil.

You watch Oprah?

Nah. She's a friend of mine.

Oh. Well, thanks.

It's the least I could do.

You know, U ncle Marv's really happy

since he started hanging out with you guys again.

He says you guys are partying more than me.

I don't know about that.

I like your attitude, Fitzy.

You're a good man.

I think I've probably bothered you enough.

Yo, Andre.

I need you to do me a favor.

You better weld it.

The humor there is that the banjo is very...

What he said was...

You see, the banjo's a bit difficult to tune.

You are absolutely gorgeous.

It's nice, Billy. That one of yours?

U h, yeah, just messing around.

Thinking about Liz?

No.

Yeah.

Yeah, I bet you are.

It's amazing how women have a way of doing that to a man.

I remember this one girl. I was about 20 years old.

And I could not stop thinking about her.

She walked into this little club where I was playing in New York.

And man, she was a vision.

She had the kind of smile that would just light up the room.

And, uh, she wanted no parts of me.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She turned me down for a couple years before she finally agreed to date.

Are we talking about Grace?

We had 52 amazing years together, Billy.

We raised five great kids.

You know, you think you'd get tired of looking at the same face,

but to tell the truth every day you just find something more to love.

Yes, indeed.

I'd give anything to have one more day with her.

Well, you're a lucky guy, Marvin, to have had a woman like that.

Not a lot of people get that chance.

That's because most people just give up.

Yeah, man I

And the duo known as Smokey and the Bandito

remain at large with an estimated 16 gas stations held up so far...

And a new development in the tragic case of Antoine Kingsley.

The bus driven by Kingsley has been identified as being rented to a Billy Simpson.

Authorities say Simpson and his four elderly accomplices

are believed to be on the run somewhere in the state of Louisiana.

They are the prime suspects in this case.

What is it?

A reward is being offered for information leading to their arrest.

With an estimated 16 gas stations...

Ooffee?

Authorities say they've been hard pressed to catch these crooks.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, boy! Man, they love him!

Excellent fun!

Great show, Flow.

Wassup?

I'm proud of ya, Germaine.

U ncle Marv, you are in the bidness, baby!

I remembered you was good, man, but not like that.

So wassup, Fitz? You a rap fan now?

Who says I wasn't a rap fan before?

Thanks so much for everything.

Guys, if we're gonna make it to Vegas, we gotta go.

We're in trouble if we think Wallace is gonna drive.

I forgot to cut him off. Wallace, you gotta drive!

I can drive.

You can drive my ass. You drank a half a bottle of Johnnie Walker.

Three quarters. I can drive.

Wait, wait, wait. You guys gotta get to Vegas, right?

Yeah.

Then we fly to Vegas tonight.

We?

Hell, yeah, we!

I can't get my broken butt in those seats.

Oh, you can fit in these seats.

We've imposed on you enough.

U ncle Marv, I'm overdue for a trip to Vegas anyway.

Besides, how often do we get to spend time together?

Not often enough, young man.

Yes, sir. Plus, I gotta get my man Fitzy

to his daughter's wedding on time.

Finally we're going to Vegas where I get to show you guys my town.

Hands in the airl

Turn around I Put your hands where I can see 'em I

Hello, Vegas!

Tequilal

Dominic!

N ick! Petey!

I thought you guys would be done with this town by now.

I'm never leaving this place. It's where all the money's at.

What are you doing here?

You know me. I can't stay away from the action.

I want you guys to meet my friends here.

Hey, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Yeah, how are you? Nice to meet you.

Petey, I want you to take care of Dominic and all of his friends.

Put 'em in the presidential suites. Everything's comp'd.

I'll take care of it right now.

Dominic, anything you need, will you please call me?

Appreciate it, Nick.

The Riviera, please.

What, what are you doing?

I'm calling my daughter, all right?

You can call her tomorrow. We're going out with The Flow tonight.

I have to at least let her know where we're at.

Elizabeth Fitzgerald's room, please?

She hasn't checked in yet?

Would you tell her that her father made it down here a bit early

and he's staying tonight at the, uh, wait a minute.

What's the name of this place?

The Rio.

The Rio Hotel. Thank you.

Wassup boys? Y'all ready to get this party started?

Yes.

Let's do it.

Everything will be all right.

How can you say that?

My dad is wanted by the police and I'm supposed to be getting married in two days.

This is all Billy's fault.

Here are your room keys.

Thank you.

I don't understand why we need two rooms.

We're not married yet.

Oh, mon Dieu.

I am such an idiot. Of course, how rude of me.

I'm getting a wee bit ahead of myself.

M iss? I believe your father left you a message.

My father?

He's here!

He's here.

But he's staying at the Rio.

I have to go see him. Will you come with me?

I would but I told you on the plane

I am meeting up with some friends. They're going to take me out tonight.

My dad could get hauled off by the Police at any moment,

and you wanna go party with your friends?

I'm truly sorry but I promised tonight.

No, no, no. I will cancel. I will not go, hm?

No, don't do that.

No, no, no, no. I, I insist.

No, go have fun with your friends. I'll handle this.

But, oh! Are you sure?

Yes. If anything happens, I'll call you.

I swear you are an angel from heaven.

This place is a complete skeevy shoe box!

Calm down, Joan Crawford, c'mon.

This is dirty. It's all dirty. Do you call this clean?

Stop it.

Do you call this clean?

The shampoo is not free.

I brought Pantene.

And the towels are rough.

They're from the Martha Stewart Camp Cupcake Collection!

You scratch ass with it? Little scratch ass.

Listen. This is not gonna work out.

I'm not cut out for this, okay? Look, I'm from Orlando.

Be quiet. Do you hear that? These walls are thin.

They're like crepes.

If someone hears us, we're busted. We're in the clink.

Don't say clink.

Why can't I say clink?

Because it scares me.

All right, I won't say clink.

Listen to me, listen to me. Trust me.

Two days, we're in Mexico. We're buying watches from the inside of some guy's coat.

We're drinking bad water. We have explosive diarrhea.

We cure it with Oipro, but no clink.

Don't say clink!

You love it when I say clink.

I don't like it when you say clink.

I'm gonna give you more clink than you ever had.

This place sucks.

Excuse me. What room is Gus Fitzgerald in?

You said Fitzgerald?

Yes.

Okay.

Actually, I'm not getting him as having a room here.

He left a message an hour ago and said he was here.

Four old guys and one ugly out-of-place young guy?

It might be under one of the other names. Simpson?

They wouldn't by any chance be traveling with a rap group, would they?

What?

You know what? Knowing Billy, yeah, that's probably them.

Well, I know that when the Flow is in town,

he likes to go to all the big club openings on the Strip.

There's one tonight at Krave, but, uh,

it's a little early. The Flow is probably still in the lounge.

The Flow?

Oh, you and your father don't talk much, do you?

Apparently not.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hey, Billy, interesting place, huh?

Say what you will about the homos.

Those guys know how to perform.

Would you get with the times? It's fun to watch.

I dunno.

I think Wallace likes it.

Oh, hell, yeah, we're watching.

I'm not watching it.

I like this lady in pink.

You like that?

I sure do.

Wait 'till you see what's next!

That son-of-a-bitch!

That son-of-a-bitch.

Where is he? He was right here. He was dancing.

Where is he? Where's the camera? I saw him. He was dancing.

Speaks French. French guy, yah high, black hair.

I'm looking for a French guy. A guy who speaks French.

I saw him. He was dancing.

You see a French guy? Where's the camera?

It doesn't matter. You can talk to Liz in the morning.

I'm gonna beat the French right out of that prick when I find him.

Don't do anything stupid, Fitzy.

Yeah, don't worry about that fool. We'll catch up with him later. Let's go.

We got places to go and people to see. Things to do.

Let me check on that upgrade for you, if that's possible.

Let's see. Well, I think... -

Official business, sir.

Can I help you?

Gentlemen, welcome to Sapphire's!

My, my, my, what have we here? Wahoo!

Johnnie Walker. Vodka on the rocks.

Yeah, it looks good on you, baby.

Hey, let's come and get it!

Hey, Wallace, you know you can't touch it, right?

The hell I can't!

I warned him. Look at him!

Yeah, well, you know, at his age he could still score.

He could also drop dead. Leave him alone.

Hey!

Get him down off there.

Oh, God, no. Don't stop!

Excuse me, officer. Is there a problem?

You guys've had a fun ride but the party's over.

Why don't you tell us what the hell is going on?

We've got warrants.

What for?

For the disappearance of Antoine Kingsley.

Who?

The gay?

I don't know. Get 'em out of here.

Was that his name?

We kidnapped a gay? Are you crazy?

C'mon.

Bye-bye, sweetie. I'll see ya tomorrow.

What's wrong, Fitz?

What's wrong? I'm in jail.

That's what's wrong.

I'm really sorry about all this.

Well, it ain't your fault. And that ain't what's bothering me.

The truth is I had fun. Ain't never felt so alive.

But I just wish

she wasn't marrying this ass jerk.

Yeah. Well,

look on the bright side now. At least you won't have to see it happen.

Like I won't see my own daughter get married?

She'll at least have to postpone.

Who's gonna walk her down the aisle?

You guys have a visitor.

Liz? Sweetie.

What are you doing here?

What do you mean what am I doing here?

We didn't do a damn thing.

Wallace, shut up.

You must've done something.

Jesus, Liz, it's a long story.

You should be ashamed of yourself!

Hey, leave him alone. It's not his fault.

He just wanted us to have fun.

Fun? This immature crap road trip that you guys pulled

winds you up in jail?

If that's not his fault, then whose is it?

Do you even care about seeing me get married?

Of course I do. But we have to talk about that.

This is a bad guy.

I swear I saw him in this nightclub with some girl.

Oh, Dad. You're unreal.

Liz, he's not making this up. I saw him, too.

And the one thing I asked

was for you to keep him home.

And what do you do? You bring him along.

And he's ruining my weekend like he ruined our relationship.

Wait, hold on a second. You're the one who broke up, not me.

Well, wait a minute. I thought you said it was mutual.

It wasn't.

But you know what?

Maybe for the first time your immature pranks

worked out for the best, Billy.

What's that supposed to mean?

If you're in there,

you can't possibly ruin my wedding if I get married tomorrow.

What? Tomorrow?

It's not like you wanna be there anyway.

Wait, Liz! C'mon. Wait!

Gin.

C'mon, Fitzy.

It's not that big a deal. I've gotten myself out of way worse jams than this.

We're in jail. What could be worse than being in jail?

Prison?

C'mon, what are you getting so worked up about?

Well, get your head outta your ass and look around.

I'll tell you what my dad used to say before he passed away.

He goes, " Billy, life's like a Mexican Rodeo.

"You gotta grab the bull by the balls

"and hang on for dear life.

"'Cause the second you let go, that bull's gonna rear it's ugly head

and he's gonna make you pay dearly for ever holding on in the first place. "

Your dad ain't dead. And number two,

I don't know what in the hell you're talking about.

The point is, that bull, the way you're riding it?

Maybe not such a good idea.

Wait a minute! You grab the bull by the balls.

I understand because that bull you gotta do that. Now I got the balls.

Now, that other part, what'd you say there?

You gotta what?

Try this.

Liz, she only dumped me because I was refusing to grow up

and get a decent job.

I was holding on to having no responsibilities.

Yeah, but you got a job now.

Precisely. You know why?

I let go.

Ah!

Here's what you do. You take a nine by eleven.

You put in the dry French bread.

Put in cinnamon, raisins, allspice.

Then you put the two cans of pet milk.

No, no, no, no. It has to be vanilla-y.

No cinnamon, allspice and raisins.

It's just pet milk, and the vanilla and the sugar.

I wonder what kind of pet pet milk comes from?

I n I ndia it could be a pet.

Jesus, what the fu... Look at this.

Look at this, look at this.

Jesus Christ.

Pull over.

I said pull over.

He's hot. We should pull over.

I'm not pulling over a hot cop. I'm not going to jail again for a hot cop.

Pull that car over now!

He is hot! Suck my balls!

Excuse me. You're next, pretty lady.

Thank you.

Nah, thank you. Thank you very much.

You gonna open this door or what?

Calm down, sir.

You'll be busted down to school crossing guard telling me to calm down.

Here are your orders. Now, release my clients immediately.

Hey, Flow, what's happening?

I'll tell you what's happening.

Police harassment and abuse.

And don't you think for one minute they're not gonna pay dearly for this.

U ncle Marv, everybody okay?

Yeah, we all right.

Are you gonna open this cell or am I gonna have to start making some calls?

How'd you swing this?

R. J. Jackson. Second coming of Johnny Cochran.

We gotta get to the wedding chapel.

Why?

Because thanks to me, Liz is getting married today.

Today? Let's go.

A police escort for us?

I guess so.

Hey, Mickey, step on it.

Gentlemen, I think it's time to celebrate.

Hey, where's Wallace?

Wallace? Thank God we lost him.

Ha!

Cab!

The chapel on Paradise. Let's go.

Great pick-up, lady, but let's put some balls on this thing and get me to that church.

Yeah, I got a pair right here just for you.

It's just an expression, lady.

I've never been in trouble. When I was a kid I didn't have to stay after school.

You're not staying after school. Trust me.

It is not gonna end like this. I am taking this ride to the end.

What do you wanna do? I need to know.

I wanna be with you.

I wanna be with you, too. The cliff or the clink?

The cliff.

I knew you'd say that. I knew you would.

Stop! Stop the wedding.

Dad?

That's it. No more. Enough. Halt. Fine.

I'm sorry, Dad, but you can't stop this.

Liz, I'm not here to stop you.

What?

Listen, Fitzy, I don't think this is such a good idea.

No, no, Flow.

This is her call. I'm not here to stop anything.

I'll stop it so I can be part of it.

Why are you acting like this?

I was talking to Billy last night and he got me thinking.

And maybe, just maybe,

I've been holding on to the bull's balls too long.

What?

What I'm saying is,

I shouldn't fight you on what makes you happy.

I've always wanted what is best for you,

and if you think that this is it,

I wanna be right here for you.

I wanna be part of your day.

Oh!

Thank you.

Merci, Papa.

Great job. Here you go. Thanksl

I'm sorry. I've got something to say.

Liz, you're probably wondering why I traveled all this way

to see my ex-girlfriend get married to this guy.

You wanna know?

Well, it's all about love. I mean,

look around you.

This place is filled with love. Look around you.

I magine the kind of love these two people share.

N ice work.

What are you getting at?

I'm getting at the idea of love, Liz.

Love, we all have it. We may not understand it.

Quite frankly I'm pretty sure I don't.

But it's love.

Billy, you ain't making no sense, boy.

Where you been?

J ust getting a rub at the day spa, you moron.

Y'all left me at the friggin' jail.

Anyway, back to why we're here.

Why am I here? Oh, uh... Here.

What's this?

That's a toaster oven.

You're kidding.

Shoot. I bought the same damn thing.

No. It's two tickets to Greece.

I figured you weren't getting the wedding you always wanted,

so you might as well have the honeymoon you always wanted.

You can't afford this.

Well, I sold some things.

Why? It's not like you.

Love.

I thought you were coming here to stop me.

Now why, why would I do that?

Why would I try to talk somebody out of being in love?

I could never do that.

Especially somebody I loved.

Merci, Billy, it's a lovely gift. C'mon, Liz, uh...

Wait! You're still marrying him after that?

I don't think so, Laurent Perrier.

Or should I say Luc Essier?

What did you say?

C'mon in, fellas.

Oh, Jesus Christ I Not again.

Touch one of my clients, and you'll be cleaning out

For the rest of your lives.

R. J. Relax, man, I don't think they here for...

We're here for him. He was a hard man to find.

What is the meaning of this?

What is going on?

You was just about to marry one of France's most wanted criminals.

No.

Essier. Thought I wasn't gonna find you, didn't you?

But I did. And you will be extradited back to France

to face charges on fraud, embezzlement,

the burglary of over 31 pet shops,

and for the inhumane use of gerbilsl

Oh, my God! He's the "gerbiler. "

I mean, I seen a weird picture of him on Court TV a month ago.

Are you referring to this photo?

Without the mustache, that's him.

Why didn't you say so?

You never asked. For all I know Liz could be into that kind of stuff.

Are you retarded?

How did you catch him?

Flow had me do a background check on Laurent Perrier.

It took a little time but eventually I found out exactly who he is.

I got you back like that, Fitzy.

I don't know how to thank you, Flow!

Oh, don't thank me. Thank Andre. He did all the work.

Andre. Thanks.

I can't believe I was going...

Liz! Liz, wait!

Liz!

C'mon, pervert.

I'm not a pervert! I'm a civilized Frenchman.

What's the difference?

That's right.

Hey, I like that hat. It's you.

Hey, sweetheart, come on sit down.

I'm partied out.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Liz.

Oh. I didn't think you were coming.

Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't make it to dinner last night.

I, I just wasn't very hungry.

That's all right. How ya doing, kid?

Fine.

Listen. You know, no one blames you.

You're not the first girl to be taken in by a conman.

I know, I know. You were right and I was wrong. Okay?

That's not important. What's important is that you didn't get married.

You can still be happy. You just gotta grab life by the balls

and go for the ride. Isn't that right, Billy?

Right.

You need to stop hanging around Billy so much.

He's not a bad guy this Billy. You know, he got a new job.

Billy, tell her about your new job.

I'm gonna grab a drink.

So, is this, uh, another one of your part-time jobs?

Well, I can't really settle down and have a family with a part-time job, you know.

Settle down? You? What are you up to, Billy?

Nothing.

Well, then why don't we have a drink

and then you can tell me all about it?

Because I'm trying not to drink so much anymore.

Or we could grab a hot dog or somethin'.

Are you trying to ask me out?

No.

It's just been awhile since we talked and...

And I've been kind of an idiot lately.

Well, I'm not really working right now so...

Same old Billy.

Same old Liz.

So...

Ooming in?

Do you, Elizabeth, take William for your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

Do you William take Elizabeth for your lawful wedded wife?

Yes!

By the power vested in me by the State of Florida,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Dad!

Thank you, Dad.

Oh, your dress!

It's okay!

You look great, sweetie.

Thank you, Wallace.

You did it, baby. You did it.

All right!

Thank you, Marvin.

Oongratulations.

Don't embarrass me, guys. The silverware stays.

Congratulations, babe.

Thanks, Dad.

Don't ever let go of this one, Billy.

I don't plan on it, Fitz.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

Where did you hear this Mexican Rodeo story?

What you mean?

I spoke with your father.

And?

You had this thing planned all the time.

I don't know what you're talking about, Fitz.

Billy. My man.

Congratulation, man.

Thanks, man.

What were you two talking about?

Aye, now Princess Diana's wedding,

that was a royal wedding, so the Queen Mother says to me, "Dominic... "

Fitzy, why didn't you spring for the horse-drawn carriage?

Because he's too damn cheap.

You can say that again.

Your record's still a number one.

Yeah, it's the best I could do.

Sorry, guys.

I'm afraid I'm gonna steal him away from you for a while.

Yeah, guys, get a life. I got stuff to do.

Bye, guys.

And there they go.

Oh, my gosh.

Is my face okay? Is my face okay?

Am I deformed?

You're not deformed. You're beautiful.

This is where they make pet milk.

We're going to the clink.

Don't say clink.

I'm sorry. We're going to the clink.

Why are you being so negative?

Why am I being so negative?

Because we robbed five stores and I told the cops to suck my balls.

We're going to the clink.

You said clink.

Oh.

Son-of-a-bitch.

You're lucky that one went over the ladies tea, Wallace.

Oh, there you go, Marv I

Ooh-wel Hah I