All language subtitles for The West Wing S03E21

Previously on The West Wing:

They take all the Henrys, do a thing,
and call it War of the Roses.

I'm told by those who saw it
it's spectacular.

C.J. Cregg? I'm Special Agent
Simon Donovan, Secret Service.

- This is bad.
- He leaked it to the press.

And I take full responsibility.

Isn't Shareef helping us
with intelligence out of Qumar?

- He's not.
- Are you telling me...

...the Qumari defense minister ordered
an attack on the Golden Gate Bridge?

- We're not ready to say.
- Get ready to say.

First the money trail.
Under interrogation from the FBI...

...we've been able to follow up on where
Yossi received materials and financing.

An account in Yossi's name
received a $ 105,000 wire transfer...

...on the first of last month at
Seaside Trust in San Mateo, California.

Sir, the NSA echelon shows the money
originating from an account...

...at the Bank of Commercial Finance
in Geneva.

The account balance totals
a little over 18 million...

...and we've determined
that the account was opened...

...with a transfer
from Star of the Lavant International.

Star of the Lavant International is a
dummy corporation for Bank Al-Hassan.

That's where Colonel Lee takes over.

The controlling partner at
Bank Al-Hassan is Abdul-lbn Shareef...

...minister of defense
for the sultanate of Qumar.

He's gotta put everything in a blind trust
when he's elected.

The defense minister
gets to own a bank?

Leo, I think you're gonna find
that in any number of ways...

...minister of defense
is simply Mr. Shareef's day job.

Massive transfers of funds within
one to two weeks of terrorist attacks.

All the recipients
being Bahji operatives.

$97,000 to the King's Bank of Tunisia
before the embassy.

$65,000 to the Merchants Bank
of the Saud...

...one week before the bombings
in the Marine barracks.

Shareef had three suspects
arrested in that case.

Yes, sir. He identified them as three
top-ranking intelligence officers...

...and had them summarily executed.

So we couldn't question them?

The bombs in Tunisia and Port of Alzoud
were made by the same source.

We've identified the bomb signatures.

Ammonium nitrate and fuel oil,
with a dynamite trigger.

There's the witness of the Chechnyan
the Russians have in custody.

There's Abdul Razi,
Shareef's son-in-law.

And there's the money trail.

- You haven't got it.
- Sir...

We wanna ask the Justice Department
to indict the Qumari minister of defense.

We're saying he's a terror kingpin.

We're saying he's killed I don't know
how many civilians and Marines.

We're saying he's compromised
I don't know how many agents.

And we're saying he's done it
in the clothing of an ally.

This isn't a cave dweller.
This is Capone. You haven't got it.

It's confusing. There's Van Morrison.
She's doing a scene from Flashdance.

All right, don 't be frightened.

- You sure?
-Yeah.

Listen, I'm sending you
to Bismarck, okay?

You gotta go tomorrow and sit in
on a DNC platform meeting.

I'm sorry, hang on a second.

Did you just say you were
sending me to Bismarck?

- Yeah.
-North Dakota?

- Just overnight.
- Am I being punished?

-Just the opposite, my friend.
- I'm being promoted?

I wouldn't go that far.
You're speaking for the White House.

The DNC's having a platform meeting,
and North Dakota wants...

...to have a plank eliminating the word
"North" from their name.

We take no state for granted.
We wanna show North Dakota we care.

You wanna show North Dakota you care,
and so you're sending me?

It's really very most grueling to do.
I'll write a statement and you'll read it.

- Okay.
- What are you doing at the office?

I forgot to put your stuff together
for Congressman Pimento.

- Pintero?
- Yes.

I forgot I had that meeting.

- How does a person get to Bismarck?
- The Iditarod, Donna.

They have an airport. It's the capital.

-Are you coming here?
- As soon as I get dressed.

Goodbye.

Buttercup.

You getting enough iron in your diet?

- You getting too much?
- Exactly the right amount.

- Sunday with my man.
- Quite a bit of Sunday with your man.

- What happened?
- I have to meet with Rick Pintero.

We set it up yesterday.

It's about reauthorization
of the Welfare Reform Bill.

You'll miss
the Werner Fassbinder Festival.

And I'm pretty broken up about that,
but this is right in your wheelhouse.

Poor women are counting on me.

All women count on you, Josh.
We find you godlike.

I bought your birthday present already.

- Why have I been dancing?
- Nobody really knows.

- Hey.
- Hey. Thanks for doing this on Sunday.

- Yeah.
- How you feeling?

- Fine.
- She meant since the thing.

I screwed up. I've moved on.

We've got something
for you to take to Bruno.

- And Leo too, it's legislative.
- What?

What's the biggest thing the president
can do for environment?

- Save the Everglades.
- Largest subtropical wilderness.

- They're obviously in serious trouble.
- What's the plan?

An $8-billion, 20-year plan...

...to restore the water flows
and the wildlife.

- Eight billion? No sweat.
- We know where the money comes from.

The same place pollution does.

The sugar industry. We end subsidies,
which adds up to 8 billion.

It's great for us, terrible for Ritchie
and Florida is in play.

Even if we don't win it,
now he's gotta spend time...

...he's gotta spend money
campaigning in his own state.

No, I'm not taking it to Bruno,
but thanks for coming in.

- Why?
- I'm sorry?

- Why aren't you taking it to Bruno?
- I like my job.

The sugar growers
are Ritchie's biggest supporter.

It'll look like we're taxing our enemies.

- Technically, it's not a tax.
- Thanks, guys.

- Congressman.
- Hey.

I had it that we were
doing this at your office.

- No, we said here.
- My assistant set me straight. Come on.

- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.

- I'm off to buy prairie gear.
- It's a city. You've been there.

I'll call later.

- You seem frazzled.
- We've been scheduled for a while...

...to go to a Catholic Charities fundraiser
in New York.

- It's the Royal National Company...
- The War of the Roses.

Cathy and I saw it in London.
It's fantastic.

It's like no Shakespeare you've
ever seen. There's music. They sing.

And that's great, but I've just been told
that Governor Ritchie is coming as well.

- So it becomes a different thing.
- You gotta tell Toby Ziegler.

- Yeah. But what do you got?
- The 25 votes you need...

...to move the Working Toward
Independence Act out of committee.

- How?
- The president has to compromise.

- We can't cave on childcare.
- You get a billion more in childcare.

- Billion?
- For a trade.

- What?
- 300 million more for marriage incentives.

And we raise the work requirements
to 38 hours a week.

- The marriage incentives...
- It's the only way.

- Marriage incentives are terrible.
- It's the only way.

Let me talk about it around here.

Okay.
Hey, you're gonna love that show.

Yeah, I'm really
looking forward to it. Thanks.

I will do it again.

Thanks.

I've been seeing a shrink, by the way.

I had trouble sleeping,
and Leo brought in a guy.

I feel ridiculous talking
out loud like this, but he said... .

It doesn't matter.
I just can't believe it's been a year.

Anyway.

- What is it?
- It can wait till we get back.

What is it?

- This isn't the place.
- Leo.

Shareef had a meeting
with two Muslim clerics in Bechar.

We picked up the meeting
by aiming an IR laser beam...

...at the windows from 400 feet.

Three different Arabic experts
worked on the translation.

"The enemy imagines he's secure.
The bridge did not fall.

He looks down from his high
or elevated place or places...

...but our victory is still assured.
There will be other moments."

Meaning times, places or opportunities.

"I have brought him low,
and I will do it again."

All right.

They can't be in the same room.
It elevates him. It diminishes us.

Now he's one of two guys
tossing a job application.

It gives him access
to a massive press.

How do we get out?
We'll look impolite and chicken.

- We could ask Ritchie not to go.
- How?

- Ask politely.
- Tell him the show isn't good.

- We don't think he's gonna like it.
- That's what we do.

We don't go. We pull out.

Better to look chicken
than to get broasted, my mom says.

What's"broasted"?

I've never really known,
but it's what they do to chickens.

What do you think?

- I don't know.
- You think we don't go, right?

- Yeah.
- All right, we don't go.

The president's gonna have to call
the archbishop.

I was looking forward to it.

- What?
- The show.

It's five hours of King Henrys with
musical interludes and a dinner break.

You should come
to my house and perform it for me.

We're done.

- Sam?
- Yeah.

I talked to Jane and Muriel this morning,
and they said they came to you...

...yesterday with something about
the Everglades and you shut the door.

- Yeah.
- They seemed pretty excited.

- You sure you don't want it?
- Look it over.

- No. If you say so.
- Okay.

This is ridiculous. He's coming here.
He's coming here!

- Why the hell can't we arrest him?
- It's a breach of diplomatic immunity.

It's our own Diplomatic Relations
Act 22 U.S.C. 254.

"No foreign government..."

At what point do you forfeit
diplomatic status?

Reasonable point.
Doesn't it go without saying...

...that I revoked it after he tried
to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge?

It doesn't go without saying.
Now, immunity can be set aside.

But it means
making our case to the sultan.

- You can't do that.
- We have no extradition treaty.

Why the hell do we need...?
He's coming here on his own.

He's delivering himself in a Learjet.

Still means setting aside immunity.

Which means a conversation
with the sultan.

We can't talk to the sultan, David.

Shareef is a member of the royal family.
The sultan's his brother.

We wanna lock him up.
I don't think he's gonna warm to it.

Plus, we're never gonna see
Shareef again.

We could explore working
with treaties signed with Britain...

...when Qumar was a protectorate.
Now, Qumar has historically rejected...

That's fine. It doesn't matter what
they've rejected. Shareef is coming here.

Have an answer for us by tomorrow.

Fellas, this guy is gonna stand trial
in a U.S. court...

...and if we have to stick heroin
on his plane to get him...

...that's what we're gonna do.

- Agent 99.
- Good morning.

I want you to tell me, what are you
people doing to catch the guy?

We're doing all the things that we do.

I haven't been happy
with any of your answers.

You've done a pretty good job
concealing your dissatisfaction.

So far, the OPR,
after examining your hard drive...

...has determined that he or she attached
a virus to the e-mails sent to you.

It's a Trojan horse application,
and once installed...

...allows the perpetrator
to record all your inputs.

- He read my e-mails.
- That's how he knew where you shop.

- You traded e-mails with Hogan.
- He knew I was shopping?

- He was there.
- How do you know?

He thought you looked good
in the black Vera Wang.

- I don't wanna know this.
- That's why I don't tell you.

- You just did.
- You asked me.

- The one time you answer...
- Are you going to your gym?

- What?
- You working out?

- You said you wanna have gin tonight.
- No.

I can't go to my gym,
it's flooded.

- The White House gym?
- Closes at 7.

Use ours. It's just a couple blocks.

- Is it a good gym?
- Yes, it's a...

- We run alongside moving cars.
- You don't have to get snobby about it.

- Would you like to use our gym?
- Yes, thank you.

Good morning.

It should be a showcase. He should have
the best lawyers in the world.

We gotta make sure he lands
at Dulles and not BWI.

- Why?
- That's the court that'll have jurisdiction.

- The law cracks me up.
- I know.

- What else?
- Josh met with Rick Pintero yesterday...

...on the Working Toward
Independence Act.

You suppose that could be
any more patronizingly named?

When we're talking welfare,
that ship's pretty much sailed.

- What do they want me to eat?
- 300 million for marriage incentives.

The marriage incentives.
What a bunch of horse manure.

Is marriage really something
that should be incentivized?

Where are all
the small-government conservatives...

...when we're talking about Washington
getting into the yenta business?

- Should we do it?
- Swallow the pill.

Our own caucus won't discuss it.
It does more good than harm.

Marriage incentives.

Used to be all you needed
was a decent dental practice.

You didn't grow up in the Catskills.

- I'm erudite.
- Yes.

- Let's do it.
- Thank you, Mr. President.

- Charlie.
- Yes, sir.

I appreciated you coming
to the cemetery with me.

- Yes, sir.
- So it's been a year.

Why don't you organize the search
for a new executive secretary.

Yes, sir. Absolutely.

I may not like the first couple
of candidates. It may take a while.

No, I don't imagine we're actually
gonna hire somebody, but this is a step.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr. President.

"Eliminating the term 'North' from North
Dakota is an important state issue...

...and the president feels
it should be resolved on a state level.

While the president is sympathetic...

...and understands the large economic
ramifications of this name change...

...he feels the issue is not yet ripe
for national attention.

The president wishes you well
and thanks you for your support."

Miss Moss, are you aware
that studies clearly show...

...the word"North" leaves impressions
that this state is cold and flat...

...significantly depressing tourism
and business startup?

Due respect, your average temperature
is 7 degrees...

...your average snowfall, 42 inches, and
a name change won't take care of that.

We enjoy roughly the same
climate as South Dakota.

We took in 73.7 million
in tourism revenue last year.

They took in 1.2 billion.
They have the word"South."

Also, Mount Rushmore.

- Is the White House behind this or not?
- Please, let me be clear again.

I have very narrow parameters in terms
of representing the White House.

I'm an assistant to Josh Lyman,
and I was sent here to read a statement.

Hey.

- Something smells great.
- There's going to be stew.

- It's ready? We can eat it?
- I'm cooking it for the fourth time.

- The beef is well-done?
- Burnt.

- The peas?
- Baby peas.

- The carrots?
- Soft.

- Potatoes?
- Cute.

- Gravy?
- Well spiced, much like myself.

Oh, this is gonna be a good night.

My woman, a fine stew
and a Mets game on national TV.

- You see how I slipped that last one in?
- I saw.

- You listening to Van Morrison again?
- It's the radio.

You never said how the meeting
with Pintero went.

Well, good.

- They're gonna vote it out of committee?
- We're getting a billion for childcare.

What do you have to give
the Republicans for $ 1 billion?

Three hundred million
for marriage incentives.

You mean like subscriptions
to Bride and Groom?

- No. The marriage incentives are...
- I know what marriage incentives are.

- Let's not do this.
- Cash bonuses to moms on welfare...

...who marry the child's father,
canceling out child support debts if the...

You know what? Every single study
shows kids do better in two-parent...

Kids are better off raised
by parents who love them.

- Your solution is loveless.
- It's not my solution!

Does my government really believe
that the law can create a family?

Do these old fat-ass men really believe
that if they just pay people...

...to act like Leave It to Beaver,
everything is fine?

Did you think the person
in my job was gonna sit?

This is about collecting votes
from white men.

If we don't get elected,
I promise you...

...President Ritchie is gonna have
a lot less sympathy for your agenda.

- This bill isn't gonna pass.
- It is. It's locked up.

- American Children's Alliance is behind it.
- Not for long. It's me.

Everyone should stay there.

I need Legislative to put together
a meeting with Regina King.

- We're back to work.
- I wanna shoot calls...

...to the Congressional Women's
Caucus...

...the CRA and all of Matty's people.

The marriage incentives are in the welfare
reauthorization and its committee.

Hold on. Can you call Robinson?

Yeah, it's Josh.
The secretary of labor's in Chicago...

Tell him I'm calling in the IOU
on prenatal health care.

Hold on. I'm sorry, honey,
that was an accident.

There's a pay phone on the corner,
although it's been out of order a while.

Get Kate Feldon
with the Society of Businesswomen.

She's spinning now, so keep trying.
I'm on my way. Let's get to work.

Put Janeane on the phone. I'll hold.

Janeane, it's me. Let's suit up.

Right now, we have a unique opportunity
to re-examine our economy...

...and mindset and develop strategies
to maximize our state's strengths...

...and resources
to generate new business.

The key strategy being to remove
the negative image of the state...

...by establishing a more inviting
state name: Dakota.

Okay, we'll adjourn for the night and
pick this up tomorrow morning at 8 a.m.

Thank you, everyone.

- You did very well.
- Thank you. I just read what I was given.

No, you answered the questions
with a lot of poise.

- Thank you.
- Speaking of questions...

...how's my friend Sam doing?
- Fine. I'll let him know you asked.

- I meant since the videotape.
- Fine.

I shouldn't be reading into the fact
that they sent you and not him?

- Oh, God, no. Mr. Chairman...
- Harry.

- I'm sorry if this sounds insulting, but...
- It's not on Seaborn's radar.

I'm senior assistant,
he's a senior counselor.

Difference between me and Sam
is the difference between me...

...and the second baseman
for the Yankees.

He took one in the teeth, that's all.

All right. Tell him Harry Conroy says,
"Get up off the dirt."

Yes, sir.

- You guys have a shooting range?
- Yeah. How was the workout?

- Good.
- Home?

Let me try one of those.

- One of what?
- A gun.

- Shooting?
- Let me see what all the fuss is about.

- Have you ever shot a gun before?
- Yeah.

- What kind?
- Well, I haven't shot one as much...

...as I've seen others
shoot them in the movies.

- You guys use bull's-eyes?
- Yeah.

I thought you'd use
those outlines of people.

We have those too.

If someone comes for you,
they don't have a bull's-eye.

- They do if I'm guarding you.
- Tough talk. I like that.

- Give me your gun.
- Let me get you a.25 caliber.

- What's wrong with yours?
- It's a.357 magnum.

- I've heard of that. That's a good brand.
- Yes.

Let's go. I'm feeling twitchy.

That's good news for me.

- Don't come close to pointing it at me.
- This is cool.

- I'm gonna hold your shoulder.
- I don't need training wheels.

Okay.

Be careful.
That.357 has got a bit of a kick.

- That thing practically broke my arm.
- Yeah.

I've been wrong about guns.
Just hand these out to the criminals.

You wanna go home now?

- What do you got?
- I'm sorry?

Marksmanship-wise.

I can fire a gun without falling down,
if that's what you mean.

Show me what you got.
I'll tell you what.

I'll make it interesting.
You get five bullets.

If you can't land in the middle,
I get to drive my car.

That makes it interesting for you.

Come on. One dead center,
I never bother you about it again.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Plus, say something nice to me.
- Something nice?

Yeah.

- Okay.
- All right.

Wait. That was a trick. You know
you can do it. Put three in the middle.

- Three?
- Three out of five. You wanna back out?

No, I'm worried about what
I'm gonna do with the other two.

- I'll be working against muscle memory.
- Look, if you wanna back...

That's what I call dead center.

- What happened to the other two?
- What do you mean?

There were five bullets,
and I don't believe it.

Three dead center.

How do you shoot like that?

They give us lessons.

I don't believe it.

Well?

Yes. Yes.

- I like that you're tall.
- You do?

Makes me feel more feminine.

I'm gonna go change.

Hot, hot, hot!

Come in.

Excuse me.

- Hi.
- You got a minute?

- What do you need?
- The president's ready to hire a secretary.

- That's good.
- He asked me to start a search.

I thought about Elizabeth Etcheberry,
but the German accent.

And Beverly Casey's been secretary
to two ambassadors.

Sue Po, who worked
for the head of the OPM.

Jerry Walters, but I don't think
he's gonna be comfortable with a man.

You'll find somebody.

- How have you been?
- Fine.

Okay. If you think of anybody
in the middle of the night...

Yeah.

We spent millions of dollars
developing a pen for the astronauts...

...that would work in zero gravity.
Know what the Russians did?

- Used a pencil?
- They used a pencil.

- What do you need?
- We're here separately.

- This is a coincidence.
- Okay.

We have to move faster
on the welfare bill.

- You told me we were fine.
- We are fine.

The women's groups
will have their day.

- The women's groups?
- One particular women's group.

Josh, is there nothing you can do
to tame that woman?

- How scared should I be?
- Not at all.

- It's gonna be fine?
- Yeah.

- That's a body blow, we lose the vote.
- We're not gonna lose the floor vote.

You?

President needs to tell the archbishop
he can't be at the fundraiser.

- I know.
- He needs a reason.

We'll use the same thing
we were gonna use with Chigorin.

That's exactly what we do.
No, this is it. It takes care...

We get the leadership to schedule
the welfare vote for next week...

...on the day we're supposed
to be in New York.

We can't go because of the vote, and the
early vote gives Amy no time to mobilize.

- Done.
- This is good.

Toby, an encouraging word from you
to Sam wouldn't be out of line.

- Sam doesn't need to be patronized.
- It'd make him feel better.

I don't want him feeling better.
I want him feeling mad.

Is there anyone you'd rather have
as a blood enemy less than Sam?

- That's how I want him.
- You know, it was a screwup...

...but I gotta say I love the way
he did it full-speed. Bam.

Like there's
a Sam Seaborn-shaped hole in the wall.

- They've got something for us.
- Who?

Excuse me.

Ten-hut.

- Did we solve immunity?
- Sir...

- Did we solve it?
- Yes, sir. But it doesn't matter.

- Why?
- The judge would throw out the case.

The chain of evidence
leading us to Shareef...

...originates with the testimony
of the Chechnyan prisoner.

- Yeah.
- His testimony was reached...

...after prolonged physical abuse
by Russian soldiers.

- He was tortured?
- Yes, sir.

Well, I'm no lawyer,
but I'm pretty sure that's inadmissible.

Yes, sir.

We'll come up
with a less aggressive way.

We'll cancel his trip here, obviously,
but we'll come up with something.

That's the ball game.

- This is always when you say something.
- No.

No.

Have you changed shampoo?

You have. I can tell because your hair
seems bouncy and more manageable.

I like to look good for you.

Well, I appreciate it.

Can you tell when it's peacetime
and wartime anymore?

No.

I don't know who the expert
on warfare is...

...but any list of the top
has got to include me...

...and I can't tell when it's peacetime
and wartime anymore.

Look, international laws
always recognize...

...certain protected persons
who you couldn't attack.

- It's been this way since the Romans.
- In peacetime.

Yes.

The Battle of Agincourt.

This was the French
fighting against the British archers.

This was like a polo match.

The battles were observed by heralds,
and they picked the winners.

And if a soldier laid down his arms...

...he was treated humanely.

- Yeah.
- And the international laws...

...that you're talking about,
this is where a lot of them were written.

At a time and a place...

...where a person could tell
between peacetime and wartime.

The idea of targeting one person
was ridiculous.

It wouldn't have occurred to the French
to try to kill William Pitt.

- That changed after Pearl Harbor.
- I don't like where this is going.

- Leo...
- In the Situation Room, Fitz.

- We killed Yamamoto. We shot his plane.
- We declared war.

- Had Bonhoeffer been successful...
- The plot to kill Hitler...

There would've been statues built
of an assassin.

We'd have had to explain that
to our kids.

I'm gonna get back to the office.

We measure the success
of a mission by two things.

Was it successful,
and how few civilians did we hurt?

They measure success by how many.
Pregnant women are delivering bombs.

You're talking to me
about international laws?

The laws of nature
don't even apply here.

I've been a soldier for 38 years,
and I found an enemy I can kill.

He can't cancel Shareef's trip, Leo.
You've got to tell him he can't cancel it.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Josh Lyman.

They're getting telegrams,
2-to-1 against.

I just met with two congressmen.

- Amy got it going in 24 hours.
- Two-to-one against.

Yeah, I'm not talking
about just a couple either.

- It'll be all right.
- Excuse me, Sam.

Hey, you just got back
from someplace, right?

Bismarck. DNC platform hearings
on dropping"North."

- Just from the state?
- Not the compass.

The chairman
was a guy named Harry Conroy.

Yes.

He said,"Tell Sam Harry Conroy
says get up off the dirt."

- I am up off the dirt.
- Okay.

- I am.
- How you doing?

- You got a second?
- Actually, I'm crashing a deadline.

- I'll pick your spirits up.
- My spirits are up.

- I can do magic.
- Really?

- Excuse me.
- Hey.

- Can I get the room a minute?
- Come see me about that magic?

Will do.

The first election I ever worked
was Bronx borough president.

There were questions about my guy's tax
returns, so we called a press conference.

It was 104 degrees that day
on Bronx Boulevard.

I thought with a tax thing,
the shorter the better...

...so I turned off the air conditioning.

- Did the press end it fast?
- Not so much as the candidate fainting.

Well, you changed the story.

I don't even think
I ended up voting for him.

Now, your screwup was worse
and on a much bigger stage.

- I'm fine.
- Yeah?

This is no time for the starters
to be on the bench.

All right.

I read the Everglades pitch
from Muriel and Jane.

- Right, it's a pass.
- No, that's the memo I'm writing.

I don't think so.

I think anything tactical
makes us look bad.

Well, we should get used to it.
We go on TV.

We do a better job selling it
than the other guy.

We win the argument, which is Ritchie
is with Florida's special interests.

And we do it right, we forced him
into defending polluters.

Jane and Muriel are right.
Also, it's the right thing to do.

- Ginger?
-Yeah.

- I'm printing this now. You'll get it out?
- Yeah.

- All right.
- Thanks, though.

- Sam.
- Yeah?

You're still mad, right?

Well, she needs the skills,
110 words a minute.

And discretion, obviously.

A willingness to put this first,
no matter what.

- But there's an X-factor, right?
- Yes.

- What is it?
- It's unknown.

- That's why it's called an X-factor.
- Yes.

- An intangible...
- I've got the lady.

I've got the lady.
I know who the lady's gonna be.

I've got the lady.

Josh, what the hell did you do
to this welfare vote?

- We scheduled it for Wednesday night.
- Why?

Two reasons. First was to get you
out of the Catholic Charities event.

I'm going to that.

- Ritchie has accepted an invitation.
- I know.

- None of us thought it was a good idea.
- The fundraiser was my idea.

I've known the archbishop
for 20 years. I won't play politics.

Did anyone wanna ask me
about this?

You've got me running a vote
from the floor of a Broadway theater.

- Where are we on the vote?
- To be honest, we're slipping a little bit.

- We are? Why?
- The women's groups are raising...

True or false, my life would be better
if you and your girlfriend swapped jobs?

Why is it for every good thing you do,
we gotta endure three screwups?

- Well, I'm sorry about this.
- Sorry doesn't get me 218.

It doesn't get back the ad
that slipped through your office...

...any more than it gets tobacco,
which you gave away for lunch money.

And why don't you know
what Ritchie's commitments are...

...before you get anywhere near
my schedule?

I've got the presidential box
at a cattle call. Win the damn vote.

- Yes, sir.
- We've got a G-8 briefing.

Thank you, Mr. President.

That was fun.
You should've come in.

- Should've let me use the car.
- It's 2 blocks.

- That's not the point.
- You're no fun.

Me? I'm nothing but fun.

What are you doing wrong right now?

- Walking on the wrong side of you.
- Yes.

- We couldn't be people walking home?
- We are.

You told me that you were at Rosslyn,
and I never said anything.

- I should've said something.
- No.

What was your job right then?

- To take the shooters down.
- I guess I figured.

I had a good angle on the left,
which was Ray Beckwith.

- Which one was Beckwith? Was he...?
- The 15-year-old.

- Did you hit him?
- A lot of people shooting at him.

Yeah, I hit him.
I know I did. I killed him.

See? And you said I can't be fun.

I just like your smile, is all.

I wouldn't mind seeing it more.

- I can't. No, I can't.
- No. Yeah. I was just...

You're right. Shouldn't you
be walking in front of me?

- In a crowded place.
- We take chances?

- I'll walk in front.
- Forget it, I'm home.

- Can we drop it?
- Sure. I'd just...

I say,"Can we drop it?" You say,
"Sure," and then we don't drop it.

This is Thayer. Four past midnight.
I've got Flamingo from Donovan.

- All right. Take it easy, Pam.
- Good night, boss.

This has gotta be costing you
an awful lot of PAC money.

You didn't wanna come up?

It's after midnight.
They wouldn't let me up.

- We were working late.
- Yes, you are.

For every vote on the left you grab,
I gotta get one on the right.

- You know what that does to the bill?
- Yeah.

So we've been phone-banking
the Bible belt...

...telling them how weak
the abstinence provisions are.

I've seen you
level hotel ballrooms screaming...

...about how ridiculous abstinence is.

I don't wanna sleep with them.
I want their vote.

When this is over
and we win...

...you know whose job it is to pay a visit
to the people who weren't with us?

What happened?

- Nothing.
- You just threatened me. What happened?

Just because you have Sherry Lansing's
platinum card...

...doesn't mean you go toe-to-toe...

...with people writing the federal budget
when they need you.

- You're gonna put us out of business?
- There's an election in November...

...and you are a player
in a political party.

If you win by selling out the party,
who cares who wins?

"Jed Bartlet, not quite
as mean-spirited as the other guy."

Doesn't really send me running
to my polling place.

All right.

- Are you coming over?
- I have to go back to the office.

We ought to be able to talk about this.

Yeah.

Mr. President.

What are you doing here?
It's 1:00 in the morning.

I called over to the residence.
They said you were in the office.

- You were home?
- Yeah.

Hey, by the way, I signed off
on canceling the trip.

I signed off on setting the vote.

You came over here
to stand in front of Josh?

No.

It's almost 8 a.m. in Qumar.

You shouldn't cancel the trip.
Tell me to call the State Department.

Why?

- What are the alternatives?
- What are you saying?

- Are we going to attack Qumar?
- Maybe.

Now?

We can kill all the armed teenagers
we want, we still won't have Shareef.

Let's get some more intelligence,
some more counsel.

More counsel is gonna help me
violate international law.

It's pretty easy
to say this is a war scenario.

It's easy to say anything
is a war scenario.

War on poverty.
It's a slippery slope.

- Stop it!
- What?

Just stop it already.

This is the most horrifying part
of your liberalism.

- You think there are moral absolutes.
- There are moral absolutes.

Apparently not.
He's killed innocent people.

He'll kill more,
so we have to end him.

The village idiot comes to that conclusion
before the Nobel Laureate.

El Principe has justified
every act of oppression.

- This is justified. This is required.
- Says who?

Says me, Mr. President.

You wanna ask more people,
they'll say so too.

- Well, a mob mentality is just...
- Not a mob.

Just you.

Right now.

This decision.

Which, by the way,
is one of self-defense.

Let Shareef come here
and we have options.

Cancel the trip and we have none.
That's all we're talking about right now.

There are moral absolutes.

Make the call.

Thank you, Mr. President.