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1
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:08,921
Whoo!All right, man,
2
00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:10,227
make that one.
3
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:12,360
Easy. What's the score again?
4
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:16,190
You have letters H-O-R-S,
and I have none.
5
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,151
All right.
6
00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:23,066
I'm-a head home.
You done, too?
7
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,676
No, I'm-a hang around
for a little bit.
8
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,374
All right. Hit me up
for one last shot.
9
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:27,418
Splash time.
10
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,819
Hey, what's up, little man?
11
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:38,081
Yo, what's up?
12
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,213
Want to shoot around?
13
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,257
Nah, man.
14
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,259
But I do want those shoes.
15
00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:46,829
[chuckles]: Okay, well,
put them on your Christmas list,
16
00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:49,440
and maybe Santa Claus
will you bring you some.
17
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:52,748
I don't believe
in no Santa.
18
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:55,577
But I do believe you're
gonna give me those shoes.
19
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,104
I'm not giving
you my shoes.
20
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:04,194
Plus, I outweigh you
by a hundred pounds.
21
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,461
Well, you're a little big-boned,
so it's starting to even out.
22
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:15,031
Now...
23
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,511
you ready to give me
those shoes?
24
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,339
[sighs]
25
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,210
You know what?
26
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:22,299
Fine.
27
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,302
I can't believe this bunch of...
28
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:27,739
Oh, my God,
is that Santa Claus?
29
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:30,046
♪
30
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,311
MAN [on TV]: Okay, it's time
to turn up the intensity.
31
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:37,140
Squat down and up.
32
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,576
Work those glutes.
33
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,578
Push that butt back.
Push those...
34
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:43,668
Aw, come on, Calvin.
You know, get up.
35
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:46,236
You promised you would
exercise with me.[chuckles]
36
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,935
Believe you me, baby,
you got my heart rate up plenty.
37
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,287
TINA:
Oh, hey, Malcolm.
38
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,202
You just getting back
from the park with Dave?
39
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,029
Uh, yeah, yeah.
40
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,683
If he ever beats you
in basketball,
41
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,121
we're gonna have
to put you up for adoption.
42
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,515
Well, you don't have
to worry about that.
43
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:06,300
So I'm-a go take a shower.
44
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:09,129
Hold on, hold on.
What happened to your shoes?
45
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,307
You know, I lost them.
46
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,918
Don't tell me you lost them
in a game to Dave.
47
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:19,226
We're gonna have to lie
about this as a family.Yeah.
48
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,706
All right, look, it's no
big deal-- relax-- but...
49
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,578
I just got robbed
down at the park.CALVIN: Whoa, whoa.
50
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,362
What?!You got robbed?
51
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:27,321
Look, guys, calm down.
I'm fine.
52
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,236
Oh, my God,
thank God you're okay.
53
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:30,715
Hey, it's cool, Ma.
54
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,195
Who did this, man?
55
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,936
Who attacked you?
56
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,198
Hey, look, it's
no big deal.
57
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,766
It was just some punks
down at the park.
58
00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,768
What you mean
it's no big deal?
59
00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:42,205
We're Butlers, right?
You mess with one of us,
60
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:44,468
you mess with allof us.That's right.
61
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:47,254
You know what, Tina? Where
you keep my fighting shirt?
62
00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:49,125
No, hold on.'Cause I'll beat up
this whole town.
63
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,388
I know you will.
I know you will.You know I will.
64
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:54,391
Just relax, okay?
There's no need to fight. I will take care of it.
65
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:57,177
You will?Yeah. 'Cause-'cause-'cause
I'm a Butler.
66
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,222
That's right.A-And Butlers
don't play.
67
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,267
Damn right.
68
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:01,529
You damn right.
Now... [growls]
69
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,357
[growls]
Yeah. Give it to me. [growls]
70
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,836
[growls]Yeah! [growls]
71
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,447
That's right.
72
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,318
Was he messing with me?
73
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,279
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
74
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,628
♪ Welcome to the hood.
75
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,419
Thanks for helping us
install these cameras.
76
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:25,205
After what happened to Malcolm,
we're gonna feel so much safer.
77
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,685
Yeah, well, these babies
are top of the line.
78
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,426
You can monitor them
from your phone.
79
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:31,776
They have night vision and zoom.
80
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,388
You know...
between this tool belt
81
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,607
and all these new
high-tech gadgets,
82
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:39,393
I kind of feel like Batman.
83
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:40,872
Really?
84
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,700
'Cause you look like one
of the Village People.
85
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,269
No, no.
86
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,532
[deep voice]:
I'm Batman.
87
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:51,535
Dad.
88
00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:55,235
Why are you wearing
your fighting shirt?
89
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:56,540
I'm going down to that park,
90
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,281
and I'm-a find out
who jacked Malcolm.
91
00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,674
Well, h-hold on.
92
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,806
I'm-a come with you.
I can help.
93
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,417
How are yougonna help?
94
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,636
Back home I was part
of the Neighborhood Watch.
95
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,335
Now, I don't want
to brag, but...
96
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,772
a couple years ago,
I single-handedly caught
97
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,427
the elusive
Kalamazoo Basil Bandit.
98
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,429
Spoiler alert:
99
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:16,865
it was a deer.
100
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:19,041
What?
101
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,217
Spoiler alert:
I don't care.
102
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,566
Look, besides,
103
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,612
I don't need you--
I got Abe and Tommy.
104
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,614
Who are they?A couple of real OGs
105
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,659
that keep their ears
to the streets.
106
00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:31,227
OGs? They're
a couple of old farts
107
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,317
that play chess
in the park all day.
108
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,276
They also do tai chi.
109
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:40,497
O-Okay, well, I-I'm-a,
I'm-a come with you. Why?
110
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:41,846
As backup.
111
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,674
Look, we're a couple
of fathers
112
00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:46,024
who both want to keep
this neighborhood safe.
113
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,330
Also...
114
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:48,636
[deep voice]:
I'm Batman.
115
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:53,249
Hey, are the
cameras working?
116
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,511
Mm-hmm.Yep. We can see everything
117
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:55,686
right here on the TV.
118
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,122
Oh, thank you, Marty.
119
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,428
No, no problem.
I love electronics.
120
00:04:58,472 --> 00:04:59,516
You know, I like
to pretend like
121
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,170
I'm the tech guy
on a covert team
122
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:02,998
with a cool nickname
like Virus
123
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:06,001
or... Firewall.
124
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,351
How about Nerd Man?
125
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:12,399
Okay, Captain Bed Wetter.
126
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:15,227
That was our secret.
127
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,578
Hey, man, don't
mess with Firewall.
128
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:19,231
I won't.
129
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:21,233
Mm, now I got to pee.
130
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:24,628
So, now do you feel safer?
131
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,413
Here, yeah.
132
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,415
But I'm still worried about
walking around the neighborhood
133
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,373
or taking Grover to the park.
134
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,114
Oh, you should take
a self-defense class.
135
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,550
Oh, please.
She doesn't need that.
136
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:36,901
I got you.
See, back in the '90s,
137
00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:38,512
when this area was
a little rougher,
138
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:41,123
I developed my own
self-defense system.
139
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:41,993
Oh, no.
140
00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:45,693
No, not "Tina kwon do" again.
141
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,129
Please. You loved it.
142
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:49,000
We used to train
together all the time.
143
00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,350
We did not train together!
144
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,831
I put on homemade
protective gear,
145
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,485
and you beat the crap out of me.
146
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,314
It was a bonding
experience.
147
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,970
See, I figured out a
way to defend myself
148
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,538
using things that I
just had in my purse.
149
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:05,582
Will you teach me?
150
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,236
Of course I will.
151
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,804
Marty, suit up.
152
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:12,546
No, no, Mama.
I just ate.
153
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:15,418
Well, if you want, I could
demonstrate without the pads.
154
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,550
All right, fine.
155
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,334
Okay. Oh, oh, and, uh,
156
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:22,686
wear a extra pillow,
'cause we're going hard.
157
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,166
This is exciting.
158
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:25,950
You know, I've never done
anything like this before.
159
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:28,213
On that deer case,
I worked solo.
160
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,652
Must've been nice.
161
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,697
Hey, hey, fellas.
162
00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:34,872
Calvin.
163
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:37,440
Ain't seen you down here
in a minute.
164
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,660
Hey, guys,
I'm Calvin's friend Dave.
165
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:41,401
Didn't nobody ask who you were.
166
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,187
And don't nobody care.
167
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,145
He's right, Dave.
168
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,756
They really don't.
169
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,455
Look, fellas,
I don't know if you heard,
170
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,762
but Malcolm got mugged
down here the other day.
171
00:06:54,805 --> 00:06:56,372
Yeah, we saw it.
172
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,330
Check.You did?
173
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,897
W-Well, who did it?
174
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,943
It was Jamaal and them.
175
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:05,816
You mean those little
kids over there?
176
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,992
Are you kidding me?
This is embarrassing.
177
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:11,082
Malcolm got rolled by
a bunch of little kids?
178
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,476
Well, it looks like I'm-a
have to go over there
179
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,478
and teach those
little kids a lesson.
180
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:18,481
I didn't even have
to wear my fighting shirt.
181
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,352
O-Okay, well... just, Calvin,
182
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,485
don't do something
you're gonna regret.
183
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,487
Eh, it's too late
for that, Dave.
184
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,619
I already brought you.
185
00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:28,535
Yo, Jamaal!
186
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:36,064
I can't believe those little
kids jumped me like that.
187
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,153
It was like watching
a bunch of baby lions
188
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,460
take down a wildebeest.
189
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,288
Where were you, anyway?
You were supposed to have my back.
190
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,638
Well, I was right there.
191
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,857
I was offering them
my shoes instead of yours.
192
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:50,339
No one wants your
Skechers, Dave.
193
00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:52,472
I'm letting you
know something-- this ain't over.
194
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,909
We need to teach those
little kids a lesson.
195
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:58,086
'Cause around here, nobody
messes with Calvin Butler.
196
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,348
Aah!
197
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:00,523
[whimpering]
198
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,438
I stepped on a acorn.
199
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,831
Come-come over here.
200
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,267
Give me your shoulder,
your shoulder.
201
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,573
Okay. All right.
202
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,713
What the hell, son?
203
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,064
How'd you let yourself
get robbed
204
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,936
by a bunch of little kids?
205
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,548
Why do you only got one shoe on?
206
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:28,116
Because I got robbed
by a bunch of little kids!
207
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:32,076
But at least I fought back.
208
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,514
Yeah, and look what it got you--
no shoes, just like me.
209
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,254
Look...
210
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:38,518
you might want
to count again, Malcolm.
211
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:39,867
I kept one.
212
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,522
I'm going over to Jamaal's house
213
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,611
and I'm giving his parents
a piece of my mind.
214
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:47,570
Oh, no, no, please
don't do that, Pop. That never works out.
215
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:50,268
What are you
talking about?Fifth grade basketball.
216
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,748
When I wasn't getting
enough playing time,
217
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,881
you went and gave my coach
"a piece of your mind."
218
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,578
I ended up benched
for the whole season.
219
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,493
Well, that's
'cause Sister Mary Agnes
220
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,495
couldn't see talent.
221
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,932
Look, Pop, when you
go talk to people,
222
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:05,370
it somehow always
turns into a fight.
223
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,024
Look, son,
224
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:10,071
sometimes a man hasto fight
for his family.
225
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:13,944
See, you wouldn't know that
because you don't have kids.
226
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,772
Trust me, Malcolm...
227
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,035
this is what
good parenting is.
228
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:20,037
Now, you might not see it now,
229
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:22,605
but I-I'm really trying
to help this kid.
230
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:24,738
You know, the proof
is in the pudding.
231
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,087
I raised a son
232
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,828
with a good head
on his shoulders.
233
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:30,700
Hey, thank you, Pop.
[chuckles]
234
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,267
I was talking about Marty.
235
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:38,534
Okay, so I'm-a show you
how we protect ourselves
236
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,622
in the hood.
237
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,363
Marty, get in here!
238
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,198
Okay, so,
239
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,721
whenever I'm in the streets,
240
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,855
I always carry three
self-defense essentials.
241
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,423
Weapon number one.
242
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,251
A comb?
243
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:03,603
[laughs] It may
look like a comb...
244
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,866
because it is
a comb, but...
245
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,347
...in the right hands,
246
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:12,089
stab, stab, stab, stab, stab!
247
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,659
See?
248
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,879
I'm safer, and, bonus...
249
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:21,055
I look fresh.
250
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:22,622
Eh?
251
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,624
Marty, are you okay?
252
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,930
Aw, he's fine.
Okay, so...
253
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:30,455
weapon number two.
254
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:31,892
Seasoning salt?
255
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,895
Cheaper than pepper spray
and really good on chicken.
256
00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,724
Close your eyes, baby.Huh?
257
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:40,683
Shake! Shake, shake,
shake, shake!Oh!
258
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,685
Aah! That burns!
259
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,687
It burns so bad.[chuckles]
260
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,689
[screams]
261
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,736
[sneezing]
262
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:54,305
Now, third
and most lethal weapon.
263
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,916
A whiskey bag?
264
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,222
Full of spare change.[coins jingling]
265
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,748
Now, to the untrained eye,
you know,
266
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:05,360
I'm just an alcoholic
267
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,710
on my way to the Coinstar.Mm-hmm.
268
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:11,018
But to the unsuspecting
predator?
269
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:12,976
Ka-ching! Ka-ching, ka-ching![grunting]
270
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:15,196
Ka-ching![groans]
271
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,683
You ready to try?
272
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,162
Uh, I think so.
273
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,773
Okay, girl. All right.
274
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,819
So, you're walking
down the street.
275
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:38,306
Okay, and an assailant
approaches you.
276
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,438
What do you do?
277
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:43,703
Uh, I guess I would whack
him a couple times here.Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
278
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,619
And then maybe a...
279
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:50,318
a tappity-tap-tap here.
280
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,800
I'm so sorry, Marty.
Are you okay?
281
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:55,715
Honestly, anything's better
than the salt.
282
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,020
Oh.
283
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,848
Come on, Gemma.Okay.
284
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:01,677
This is street warfare, okay?Okay.
285
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,028
Like, just imagine this
man has stolen your purse!
286
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,902
What do you do?
287
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:11,600
[grunts]
288
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:14,429
Now give me back
my purse, please.
289
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,778
"Please"?"Please"?
290
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,390
Yeah, yeah, we... we got
a lot of work to do,
291
00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:20,652
or you gonna die.
292
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,699
Thanks for asking me
to come along
293
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,222
to talk to Jamaal's parents.
294
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,268
I didn't ask you to come along.
295
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:33,753
Okay, now, Calvin, remember,
296
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,580
we're talking about
someone's child,
297
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:39,106
so we need to be reasonable,
keep our voices at an even tone,
298
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,761
and, no matter what,
never be aggressive.
299
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:46,591
Come on out!
I want to talk to you
300
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,680
about your little punk-ass son!
301
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:53,468
Hey, check it out.
302
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,818
Looks like Gramps
got another shoe, huh?
303
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,820
[chuckles]
304
00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,953
[chuckles]:
"Gramps"? That's all you got?
305
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:01,041
Boy, I'll kill you!Okay.
306
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,782
Calvin, Calvin.
307
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,696
He's a child. Calm down.
308
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:07,264
Yeah, man,
you better listen to your nurse.
309
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:09,527
Hmm.
310
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,791
You said that like
it hurt my feelings.
311
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,531
My aunt is a nurse.
312
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,058
Jamaal, where are your parents?They ain't here.
313
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,929
Well, where are they?None of your business.
314
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,757
Oh, I'll make it
my business! You...Okay.
315
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,280
Okay, Calvin.I want the door open.
316
00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:26,327
[chuckles]: Careful, old man.
You gonna hurt yourself.
317
00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:30,722
This was fun,
but I'm gonna go back inside
318
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,029
and watch TV.
Night-night, Gramps.
319
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:35,989
And, nurse,
make sure he takes his medicine.
320
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,296
Yeah, well, joke's on you.
321
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,821
My aunt's saved
hundreds of lives!
322
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,564
That kid is disrespectful.
323
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:49,045
That's because clearly
his parents aren't around.
324
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,918
Which is why it's up to us
to teach him a lesson.
325
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:56,792
H-Hold on,
b-by stealing his bike?
326
00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:00,187
It's called good parenting,
Dave.
327
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:01,710
Hey, Jamaal!
328
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:04,365
If you want your bike back,
come find me!
329
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:06,019
You getting on or what?
330
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,498
Well, just for the record,
I do not approve
331
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:09,326
of this method
of conflict resolution.
332
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,503
All right, how do you
want to do this?
333
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,027
What, do I grab a hold
of your waist?
334
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,463
Shoulders. Shoulders.
335
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,508
[bell dings]
336
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:26,735
Listen, Gemma, I know
that you are a sweetheart.
337
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:29,303
But this is not Kalamazoo!
338
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:30,826
Okay. Okay.
339
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,132
Okay?!Okay.
340
00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,308
When someone comes after you,
341
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,484
you got to go there.Yeah.
342
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,051
I don't want to hurt Marty.
343
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,095
Screw Marty!
344
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:41,489
Mama!
345
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:43,621
He's not Marty.
346
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:46,537
He is a bad guy, okay?Yeah. Okay.
347
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:49,540
You need to channel
your inner anger!Okay.
348
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,848
[panting]What is it gonna take
for you to release
349
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,372
and unleash that inner beast
350
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:58,549
and go after this monster?Uh...
351
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:01,335
Uh, uh...
352
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,946
I guess if somebody was
really trying to hurt Grover.
353
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,469
Good.Yeah.
354
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:06,949
Use that, okay?Okay.
355
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,603
Okay.This sicko...
356
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,431
GEMMA:
Mm-hmm.Whoa, whoa.
357
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,172
...is going after your kid.Yeah.
358
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:15,653
What are you gonna do
to protect your little boy?Yeah.
359
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:18,787
Mama, I am yourlittle boy.
360
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,833
Not today, sicko!
361
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,444
[grunting]Get him!
362
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:25,533
Don't hurt my little boy!Get him!
363
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:29,580
[grunting]Yeah! Yeah!
364
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:32,453
Yeah!Gemma, it's me, Marty!
365
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:33,628
[grunts]
366
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,287
Cool!
367
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,289
Mom knocked out Firewall.
368
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,207
[Calvin chuckles]
369
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:50,558
Like that.
370
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,779
That's right. A bike for a shoe.
371
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:57,565
[chuckles]
Holla at ya boy.
372
00:15:57,608 --> 00:15:59,262
You stole his bike?
373
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:01,873
That's right. Because I care.
374
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:06,922
Look, the boy's got to learn
that actions have consequences.
375
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,532
An eye for an eye.
376
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,882
Yeah, well, Gandhi said,
"An eye for an eye
377
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,362
makes the whole world blind."
378
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:15,017
Well, Gandhi didn't wear
$300 sneakers.
379
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,541
[knock on door]
380
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:19,761
Look at you, Pop.
381
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:23,721
Look who I found outside
about to tag your truck.
382
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,114
About to tag mytruck?
383
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:27,769
Malcolm, go get some bail money.
I'm going to jail.
384
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:30,293
Whoa, no, no, no, no.
No, Pop. No. No, stop.
385
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:31,686
Calm down. Pop.
386
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:35,385
Now, just let me talk
to him for a minute.
387
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,779
Fine. But after that, he's mine.
388
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,999
Hey, you need backup?
389
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,826
I've been on this case
since the beginning.
390
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,741
That was today, Dave.
391
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,309
Yeah, I know. And look,
we already caught the perp.
392
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:47,615
[scoffs]
393
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,445
Man, here we go.
394
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:54,578
Now you're gonna give me a
lecture on stealing, right?No.
395
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,624
I wasn't gonna
give you a lecture.
396
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,582
I was gonna tell you
I'll go in there
397
00:16:58,626 --> 00:16:59,583
and get your bike back.
398
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,194
What's the catch?
399
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,847
Well, you got to
listen to my lecture.
400
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,937
Jamaal,
401
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,809
I know what it's
like to be your age.
402
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,333
You're trying to figure
out how to be a man.
403
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:12,596
But in this neighborhood...
404
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,728
well, some people
have a different idea
405
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:15,251
of what that means.
406
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,949
I know what it means.
I ama man.
407
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,560
Don't tell me what
a man you are.
408
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:21,344
Your bicycle still
has a bell on it.
409
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,434
But, hey,
410
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,088
Jamaal, that's a good thing.
411
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,698
Because it means you
still get to choose
412
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,570
what kind of man
you want to be.
413
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:32,486
Now, do you want to be a
weak one or a strong one?
414
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,575
I was strong enough
to take your shoes.
415
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:37,882
Oh, you think so? Because
the way I remember it,
416
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:40,363
after half a block
I stopped running,
417
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:42,670
turned around, and
gave you my shoes.
418
00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:45,281
That's 'cause you were afraid.
419
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,718
[laughs]
420
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:50,591
Jamaal, I am a grown
man, and if I wanted to,
421
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:53,115
I could've beat the black off
of you and your tiny crew.
422
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:56,553
But I didn't.
423
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,686
Because when I was your
age, my father taught me
424
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:02,342
what makes a man truly strong
is helping other people.
425
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,170
You mean Gramps in there?
426
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,781
[chuckles]:
Yeah.
427
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:10,741
I know his methods may seem
a little old-school,
428
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:14,223
but my father is
the strongest man that I know.
429
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:16,269
[bell dinging]
430
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,883
I wonder what Malcolm's saying
431
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,103
to that little thuglet
out there.
432
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,019
You know what?
We can watch 'em
433
00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:29,847
on the security cam
feed on my phone.
434
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:34,287
Unless you think spying on
them would be unethical.
435
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:38,073
Dave, we stole a kid's bike.
436
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,293
Oh, that ship has sailed.
437
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:45,602
Jamaal, what my father taught me
is that strength doesn't mean
438
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,604
being able to take things
from other people.
439
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:50,390
It means being able
to earn them for yourself.
440
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,131
It means doing the right thing
441
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,871
even when the wrong thing
looks easier.
442
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:56,613
And most important,
443
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:59,790
real strength doesn't come
from pushing other people down.
444
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,271
It comes from lifting 'em up.
445
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:04,578
You give me some speech,
446
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:06,754
and it's supposed to change
my life?
447
00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:09,713
Brother, I wish it could.
448
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:12,107
But how about this?
449
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,717
I'll meet you at the park
every Saturday.
450
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,676
We shoot hoops and we talk
451
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:17,112
about whatever you want.
452
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:21,029
That's it. Now,
you show up if you like.
453
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:23,074
Maybe.
454
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:26,034
All right, cool.
Now, like I promised,
455
00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:27,644
I'll go get your bike back.
456
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:31,692
That's not necessary, son.
457
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:35,478
Looks like my plan
to lure Jamaal over here
458
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:38,089
so that you could have
a talk with him...
459
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:39,743
has worked.
460
00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:44,183
You can have your bike back.
461
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,360
Um, Dave, are you crying?
462
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:53,670
It takes a strong man
to show his emotions.
463
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:57,283
Oh, oh, no tears on
the fighting shirt.
464
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,508
Come and get it, boy.Pop, come on, man.
465
00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:08,685
[whooping]
466
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,557
Gonna dunk on you.
467
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,254
Yeah, right.You're getting ready
to get punked right...
468
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:13,255
Man, just shoot...
Aah!
469
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,866
Oh.[scoffs]
470
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,260
Look who's here.
The kid showed up.
471
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,609
Hey, what's up, little man?Hey, man.
472
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,350
You know what, now we can play
a little two-on-two.
473
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,265
Yeah.Okay.
474
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:28,270
All right, Malcolm and I
are captains. I choose first.
475
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,489
I'm just saying,
I sunk my last three buckets.
476
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:30,794
I'll take Jamaal.
477
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,319
My man.All right, little man,
478
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:35,799
you shoot for first.Got it.
479
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:43,894
What? Not all black people
play basketball.
480
00:20:43,938 --> 00:20:47,333
Bet you wish you
had chosen me, huh?
481
00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:51,685
Not at all.
482
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:54,340
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483
00:20:57,995 --> 00:21:00,998
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484
00:21:01,048 --> 00:21:05,598
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