All language subtitles for The Neighborhood s01e01 Pilot.eng

Hey, Grover,
we'’re almost there.

Check out our
new neighborhood.

I guess it looks cool.

I'’ll tell Grammy how nice it is

so she won'’t be worried
we moved.

Aw, did Grammy tell you
she was worried?

She said she wishes we didn'’t
have to live so far away.

Aw.

She also wishes
we weren'’t moving

to a black neighborhood.

I am really
gonna miss your mom.Okay.

Buddy, I-I wouldn'’t call it
a black neighborhood.

Really? He'’s black. He's black.

She'’s black.

Would you look at over there?
That'’s a palm tree.

Oh, yeah, right next
to that black guy.

All right, son.

It'’s time to set up
for Yardecue Day.

Got to get the tables, fire up
the smoker, and prep the meats.

Yeah, that sounds
like a whole lot.

You'’d better get busy.

What is so important
on this phone?

I know it'’s not looking
for a job.

It'’s a video
talking about evolution.

It says the number one key
to survival

is being able
to adapt to change.

Hmm. You know, the number
one key to yoursurvival

is getting your butt up and
helping me stack some wood.

Hey, hey, Pop, look.

I hate stacking that wood, man.
There'’s always spiders.

[laughs]: Exactly. That'’s
why you'’re stacking the wood.

Six, seven, eight...

Sweetie, please stop
counting black people.

Okay, just because there'’s
more diversity here

doesn'’t mean we won't get along
with everyone.

Inside of all these homes

are people and families
that are just like us.

Plus, my new school
where you'’re gonna go

is super close by.

Yes, and that'’s another reason
why we chose this house.

Mm-hmm.Grammy says that it was the only
house that we could afford.

[sighs]
Wow, it'’s like she's still here.

[screams] A spider is on me!

It got me![laughs]

It'’s not funny, man.

You know, you are extra
annoying on Yardecue Day.

Son, how can you have
such a bad attitude

on a day like today?

Yardecue Day is about bringing
our community together

to celebrate what makes
this neighborhood special.

Which is?Me.

Seriously, son,

our family'’s been in this
neighborhood for generations,

and the culture
that we helped to create

is worthy of respect.

Now you watch the firebox while
I go in and season the meat.

Oh, boy, you mean I actually
get to touch the smoker?

No, you don'’t get
to touch the smoker.

I said watch the smoker.
Don'’t touch the smoker.

I'’m the only one
touches the smoker.

Man, I hate Yardecue Day.

[tires screech]

Hey, we'’re your new neighbors,
the Johnsons.

Dave, hurry. He needs to pee.

I'’m sorry. Long
drive, big soda.

I'’m coming, hold on.

Hey, look,
our neighbor'’s diverse, too.

Although maybe today'’s gonna be
more fun than I thought.

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood.

Hey, Ma.

Hey. I heard tires screech.

I hate it when those gangbangers
tear up the street.

You know, I saw them.

Uh, I'’m not too sure what gang
they would be a part of.

Oh, really?
Well, who was it, then?

Oh, it'’s the new neighbors.

Says their names
are the Johnsons.

Johnsons?Hmm.

Well, all right.Yeah.

It is good to hear another
successful black family

moving into that nice house.

You know,
keeping the neighborhood

headed in a positive direction.

[laughs]: I'’m so glad
to hear you say that.

Calvin,
how about we go over there

and invite them
to Yardecue Day.

You know what,
that'’s a good idea.Mm-hmm.

I think that is a great idea.

How I look, baby?

Mmm, as handsome as ever, baby.

[both chuckle]Hey there.

[chuckles]Hello.

Uh, we'’re-we're looking
for the Johnsons.

Well, you found '’em.
Dave Johnson. Nice to meet you.

Take a step back

so I can see the handshake.

Uh, nice to meet you, too.

I'’m Tina. This is my husband
Calvin. We'’re the Butlers.

Oh, great,
'’cause I rang for some tea

about a half hour ago.

[laughs]

What the...?Actually, we'’re
your new neighbors.

And we live right next door.

Oh, no way.
This is you guys right here?Uh-huh.

It'’s so nice to meet you.[stammers]

So, your name is Johnson?

Like-like Magic Johnson,
Dwayne Johnson?

All the other black Johnsons?

Oh, yeah.

And like Magic Johnson,
I'’m from Michigan,

and like Dwayne Johnson,
I rock. [laughs]

[laughing]:
That'’s pretty f...

That'’s a pretty serious smoker
you got there.Oh, yeah.

Calvin built it himself.

We own an auto repair shop.

Calvin'’s really
good with tools.

Oh, that'’s so cool.
I love to barbecue.

What kind of wood do you use?

Hickory. Little mixture
of oak and pecan.

Wow. I'’d love
to try that someday.

I bet you would.Why don'’t you, uh...

come by later.

A bunch of people from the
neighborhood are gonna stop by.

Ooh. You know,
I don'’t know that we can.

The movers should
be here any minute.

Aw, just come by for a bit.

In this neighborhood,
we believe in hospitality.

Right?But we also believe
in privacy,

so, you know, do what you
got to do. You know. Hey.

Okay, well, we'’ll try
to make it over for a plate.Well, all right.

Okay.It was so nice
to meet you guys.

Yeah, okay.Nice to meet you.

We'’ll see you later.
All right. All right.

All right, okay--
I'’m gonna kill you.Yeah.

I just got off the phone
with the movers.

They won'’t be here
until tomorrow.

There was a huge accident
on the highway.

Oh, that'’s great!

I mean,
I-I hope no one was hurt.

But now we can go
to the barbecue.

What barbecue?Next door. Our neighbors
just invited us.

Oh, that'’s nice.

But where are we supposed
to sleep tonight?

Ooh, the camping
gear'’s in the car.

I could set it up in here.

Okay. But I guess that means

you'’re gonna have
to pitch a tent for me.

I can pitch a tent
if you chop my wood.

Sweetie, we really need
to work on our sexy talk.Yeah, that was...

That was bad. That was bad.[knock at door]

MARTY:
Hello! Uh, hi.

I'’m Marty Butler. My parents
told me you just moved in and...

[laughs]

Ah.

I had to come
and see for myself.

Well, hi. I'’m Dave Johnson.
Come on in.

Hi.This is my wife Gemma.

Hi, Gemma.

Hi.[laughs]

Oh, boy, oh, boy,
they weren'’t kidding

when they said
you guys were-were...

were not from around here.

Oh, no.

We just moved here
from a small town in Michigan.

Right into this neighborhood.
I love it.

And why wouldn'’t you?

Look at these built-ins.

Oh, I know.

Aren'’t they to die for?

They might just be.

I'’m sorry, what?

No, it'’s just that there aren't
a lot of other people

like you around here.

I'’m sorry,
are-are you saying

it'’s gonna be a problem
that we live here?

No, not at all. No, not for me.
You know, I'’m an engineer,

so all the science
says it'’s good

for people to live
in diverse communities.

Oh. Well, good. We
couldn'’t agree more.

Yeah, it'’s too bad
my dad hates science.

Calvin? But he just
invited us to a barbecue.

Oh, no.
No, actually, my mom did.

At least, that'’s how
it'’s being discussed very loudly

at my house right now.

Oh. Well, Gem,

if that'’s how he feels,
we shouldn'’t go.Ooh.

Uh, I'’m afraid
it'’s not that easy.

You see, my mom invited you
into her home.

If you don'’t come,
she will be offended.

Won'’t she understand?

Seriously?

What is it like
where you come from?

Besides, you got to come
or you'’ll seem racist.

Is that the original hardware

on this door?

What? We are not racist.

If-if anyone'’s being racist,
it sounds like it'’s your dad.

Ooh, no, no, no,
no, no. See, uh,

black people can'’t be racist.

We can be racial.

Not "cist."

"Cial." "Cist."

Well, we'’re not "cist"
or "cial" or...

Whatever we are, we'’re not.

Your mom was nice
enough to invite us,

and where we come from, that
means something. We'’re going.

Okay, but, Gem, we'’re...I said we'’re going.

And we are gonna have fun!

Oh, I know
I'’m gonna have some fun.

Hey, Pop,
Mom wants to know how...

[coughing]

Mm-hmm.

That'’s what you get for
pulling that little stunt

you did with the
neighbors earlier.

You lucky it'’s the smoke the
only thing that'’s choking you.

Okay, man.

Look, why are you so mad that
that guy'’s coming over here?

Because it'’s Yardecue Day,
and this is my house,

and I don'’t like that guy.Oh, yeah? Why?

Because he'’s too familiar.

He acts like he knows
you when he doesn'’t,

and I can'’t stand that.

It sounds like he'’s
just being friendly, Pop.

Exactly. It'’s weird, man.

A-And I'’m pretty sure

it'’s racist, too.[scoffs]

Oh, man, he'’s cool.

The first thing he did when
he got here was shake my hand.

Son, look,
you'’re only saying that

because you don'’t know
there are two types of racists:

there'’s ones
who hate black people

and ones who love black people.

A white guy trying
to shake your hand?

[chuckles] Stay woke, son.

Is this meat the only thing
you been smoking all day?

Son, look,
there are some white people

that love black people
just because they'’re black.

Makes them feel all good
on the inside.

You know,
like they'’re doing us a favor.

"Hey, I have lots
of black friends.

"I'’m a good person.

I find Rihanna
very attractive."

So, basically, you think
this guy is racist

because he'’s too nice to you?

Think about it. Would you
be nice to me if we just met?

Well, damn, that'’s
a good point.

Besides, man,
this is a black neighborhood,

something built
for us by us.

You let one family
like that move in,

and next thing you know,
it'’s gonna be a bunch of dudes

jogging around
in their little short shorts,

walking their
vegan labradoodles.

Dad, do we have to go
to the barbecue?

Why? Did Mommy say
we didn'’t have to go?

No.

Oh. Well, why don'’t
you want to go, buddy?

I think there'’s gonna be a
bunch of kids over there.

I know, but what if no one
wants to play with me?

Oh, come here.

Look... [sighs]

I know you'’re scared,
and that'’s okay.

I-I'’m surprisingly
worried, too.

But trust me, we'’re both
gonna go over there.

We'’re gonna make
some friends today.

All right, Johnsons, let'’s go
make that jerk love us.

Is Mommy why
you'’re worried?

She is now.

Hey, baby.

Any sign of
the new neighbors yet?

Nope.

Well, ain'’t that something?Hmm.

I invite them
into my home,

laugh at his
corny jokes.

You know, he has the
audacity not to show up.

Tina!Hi, Dave.

So glad you could make it.

Calvin.

Hey, Dave.

Hi, I'’m Tina.

I'’m Gemma.
This is our son, Grover.

Grover?

Grover Johnson?

We brought this. We got it to
celebrate our first night

in the house, but we thought
it'’d be fun to share it

with our new neighbors.

Oh, how thoughtful.

Isn'’t that thoughtful, baby?

I'’m more of a beer man, myself.

I'’m more of a
beer man, too.

I just love a good IPA.
How about you?

Dude, I just like beer.

Well, how about we go inside
and pop this baby open?

And show all these freeloaders
how to bring a gift!

So aren'’t you gonna go in
and have some champagne?

No, like I said,
I'’m-I'm a beer man, too.

So, let'’s take a
look at your meat.

I'’m gonna go inside.

You guys playing chess?

Who'’s winning?

Malcolm always beats me,

but today I got him...Checkmate. [laughs]

Oh, you-- I'’m-I'm-I'’m sorry.

That'’s-that's my fault,
I distracted you.

Yeah. You heard him,
he distracted me.

He owes you five dollars,
not me.

[laughs]

We started to meet earlier;
I'’m Dave.

Hey, Dave. I'’m Malcolm.

May I?Yeah, go ahead, man.

I'’m white.

Yes, you are.

[laughs]

So, you and Marty
both live here?

Oh, no, I do.
When Marty got a job,

he moved to a
different neighborhood.

Oh, how come?

Because my dad said,

"You got a job,
now get out."

[laughs]

So tell me about
the other neighbors.

Okay. Well, um,

that'’s Rudy and Teresa's
place over there.

They'’re really nice.

Miss Kim, she'’s
an elderly lady,

she lives over there, and
that is where Victor lives.

Oh, what'’s Victor like?

Oh, he'’s cool, man.

You know, for a crackhead.

Wow. I mean,
that'’s-that's crazy...

that we live across the street
from a-a crackhead.

Hey, man.

You can'’t be calling
Crackhead Victor a crackhead.

I'’m-I'm sorry,
but you just did.

I know I did, because
I know him like that.

You don'’t, all right?

That dude used to be the
coolest guy on this block.

We used to ride our bikes up
and down the street together.

Wow, so you guys were friends?
What happened?

The dude started
smoking crack.

Man, you know, I used to think
that guys like him

were the problem, but now,
seeing everything

that'’s going on with the opioid
epidemic, starting to think

that it'’s the addicts who are
the real victims. Absolutely.

Who'’re the real victims?The addicts.

Like our neighbor, Crack...
[clears throat]

Like Victor.

[chuckles]
You see, son?

See? This is what
I'’m talking about.

This guy likes
black people so much,

he thinks he likes Victor.

Okay.

We'’ll see how much you
like him once he steals

all the airbags
out your car.

Hi.

Hey, everybody'’s almost gone;
maybe we should go, too.

No way. Tina and I
are having fun.

Did you know she was
a Laker girl for one game?

But, you know, I don'’t think
Calvin wants us here.

I keep trying to
connect with him

and nothing seems
to be working.

Oh, sweetie, relax.
You'’re trying too hard.

You'’re coming off thirsty.

Tina just taught me that.

Oh.

Girl, I realized we have been
talking all day,

and I still haven'’t asked you
why you moved here.

Oh, I got a job as a principal

at a little progressive school
nearby. Oh, wow.

Wait a minute now.
What'’s a "progressive school"?

Oh, it means they don'’t
teach the kids anything.

That'’s not true.

We just believe children learn
better when they'’re motivated

by a feeling of personal
satisfaction instead of grades.

Okay. Yeah. Th-That'’s the
progressive way of saying

what I just said.

Don'’t talk to my
new friend like that.

It'’s not her fault that her
school sounds stupid.

I'’m sorry. I didn't
mean it that way.

It'’s cool. I know you
weren'’t throwing shade.Ah.

I learned that, too.

Oh, baby, there you are.
Come on in, join us.

Oh, actually,
I was gonna eat outside.

But there'’s nobody out there.

Exactly.

Please.

[sighs]

Oh. Oh.

Th-There'’s a button
right next to you, on the side.

It'’s all you.

So, Dave, what do you do?

I'’m a professional
conflict mediator.

What'’s that?

Well, you know,
when two people

have a problem
they can'’t solve,

they hire me to come in
and help them fix it.

So it'’s like when I fix a car,
but what I do is real,

and... what you do

is some touchy-feely
fairy-tale-type crap.

Well, I wouldn'’t call it
a fairy tale.

Yeah, it'’s a real job,
and he'’s good at it.

It sounds like to me, you think

you just know better
than everybody else.

MALCOLM: Oh, please.
You are the only one here

who thinks he knows better
than everybody else.

Okay, you know, I'’ve had about
enough of your disrespect today.

Pop, you'’re always talking to me
about respect,

and you never show me any.Well, that'’s because

when I get up, I go to work;
when you get up, you go pee.

You know what, man?
I don'’t need this.

You don'’t need what?I don'’t need you telling me

to get a job all the time like
I don'’t have plans of my own.

Plans of your own? [laughs]
Boy, you can'’t even afford

your own data plan.

Well, that'’s funny, right?
Embarrassing me in front

of these people I don'’t know?You-you started it.

[overlapping arguing]

Hey, uh, guys.

Guys.

Maybe I can help.

Oh, God, Dave, please don'’t.No, no, no, it'’s okay.

Look, this-this is what I do.

Now, it seems to me like neither
one of you is feeling respected.

Wow.

Dave, you are really good
at your job.

Thanks.

Malcolm, tell your dad

why you feel like
he doesn'’t respect you.

Come on, come on.
I'’m not doing this.

See, no.

This is just another white guy

trying to fix
a black man'’s problem

so he can feel good
about himself.

Calvin, that'’s not fair.

Really? Okay.

Tell me how you feel
about Rihanna.

I find her very attractive.

Oh, God.

You see? This is what
I'’m talking about.

I'’ve been giving this guy
a hard time all day,

yet he'’s still being nice to me.

Why? Because I'’m a black man.

It'’s like affirmative action
for friends.

Okay, look. Uh, Calvin,
that'’s not true.

Look, I-I just want to be
friends with my neighbors.

And yeah, maybe I'’m trying
a little extra hard

because I'’m the only
white guy around.

If that makes me seem racist,

then... [sighs] I'’m-I'm sorry.

In fact... Hey, look, I'’m...

I'’m sorry...

if-if I seem racist.

[stammers]
I'’m-- Hey, hey, man,

I'’m-I'm sorry if I seem racist.

All right.

Thank you.

Look, if I give you a hug,
would you leave my house?

All right. Okay.
All right.

Cool, Dad, you made
the jerk like you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you
so much for having us.

Yeah, uh, you'’ll have to come
over to our house next.

Okay.

And it'’s because
we want you there,

not just because you'’re black.

Dave!
Okay.

[door closes]

Can you believe it?

I mean,
can you believe it?

That little boy'’s name
is Grover Johnson.

♪

Hey, what'’s up, man?

Oh, hey.

Wait.

You'’re not gonna jump over here

and try to hug me again,
are you?

[laughs] No, no.

Hey, thanks for having my back
in there with your dad.

Oh, that'’s cool.

But, you know,
if he kicks me out,

I'’m coming to move in
with y'’all.

Hey, can I ask
you a question?

Do you think it was a mistake
to move here?

Why would that be a mistake?

Well, I-I don'’t know.

You know,
maybe you'’re dad's right;

I don'’t fit in here.

I kept trying to be
a good guy today,

but no one seemed
to see me that way.

Yeah, well, you know, it'’s hard
when you see yourself one way,

and the rest of the world,
they... see you another.

Doesn'’t feel very good, does it?

Nope. Not at all.

Look, you know... [sighs]

this is gonna sound corny,

but I-I really believe

that if people would just focus
on what we have in common

instead of how we'’re different,

w-we could solve
so many of our problems.

You know what?
That may be true.

But I also think it'’s a lot
easier for someone like you

to believe that, than it is
for someone like me.

Okay.

I better get to bed.

Uh, good night.

Good night, man.

Hey, Dave.

Yeah?

Welcome to the neighborhood.

"I have lots
of black friends."

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