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1
00:00:03,910 --> 00:00:10,920
♪♪
2
00:00:12,050 --> 00:00:14,440
Don't scream.
3
00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:16,140
Okay, Zach.
4
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,490
I want to be with you.
5
00:00:17,530 --> 00:00:19,190
I just...
6
00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:20,840
I don't know.
7
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,970
Cheryl...
8
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:26,240
if you could just
accept my love,
9
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:30,070
we can stay together
through all of eternity.
10
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:31,850
♪♪
11
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:33,940
Okay, Zach.
12
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,470
I love you.
13
00:00:36,510 --> 00:00:39,250
I want to be with you
forever.
14
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,910
So, it's time?
15
00:00:42,950 --> 00:00:44,080
It's time.
16
00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:49,000
♪♪
17
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,780
Announcer: "Vampire Creek"
will return in a moment.Hey, uh,
18
00:00:50,830 --> 00:00:52,180
what are you guys watching?
19
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,570
"The Goddamn Asshole Show"?
20
00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:54,960
"Vampire Creek".
21
00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:57,440
It's a show about
sexy teen vampires.
22
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,050
They live in a creek?No.
23
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,660
It's the name of the town.
24
00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:02,140
Oh, no.
25
00:01:02,190 --> 00:01:03,840
You want to see a sexy vampire,
you gotta --
26
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,150
you gotta watch those
Hammer Films with Ingrid Pitt.
27
00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:08,370
It's a British chick
with good teeth
28
00:01:08,410 --> 00:01:10,410
and a couple of
horn-honkin' milk jugs.
29
00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:12,940
Oh, I got to tell ya.
30
00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:14,500
♪ Peaches♪♪ Mmm-mmm♪
31
00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:16,330
♪ Peaches♪♪ Oh, boy♪
32
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,680
Boy: I found
a can of peaches!What?
33
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,550
Announcer: And now
back to our programming.
34
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,300
Y-Y-You guys --
You guys stay there.
35
00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:26,120
I'll get it.
36
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,040
Zach's a shapeshifter.
37
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:34,000
He can put his butt
in the front.
38
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,740
Can he turn his butt
into a wolf?
39
00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:38,350
No.
40
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,140
But his wiener
becomes a tail.
41
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:44,800
Oh, Zach, you dirty dog.
42
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,100
Yeah.
Is, uh,
Denise Miller home?
43
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,190
Hold your horses.
Denise!
44
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,110
That won't be necessary.
Here.
45
00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:56,020
Thank you too many.
46
00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:58,240
Uh...
47
00:01:58,290 --> 00:02:00,460
It's, uh, probably
one of those things
48
00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:02,810
you ordered off the TV
and forgot about.
49
00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:04,290
Maybe it's a monkey.
You know what?
50
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:05,900
I'll tell --
I'll t-tell you what it is.
51
00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:07,560
It's one of those necklaces
that beeps
52
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,120
when you
fall off the toilet.
53
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,560
Not for nothing,
54
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,170
but how in the hell
do you fall off a toilet?
55
00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:14,830
It's shaped like a seat,
for the love of God.
56
00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:17,520
If Elvis had one of those,
he'd still be alive.
57
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,480
Still be alive and big
as a house with a neck...
58
00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:22,490
Aah!
59
00:02:22,530 --> 00:02:24,230
"Congratulations,
Denise Miller.
60
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:26,490
You've won the 'Vampire Creek'
Slash Fiction competition
61
00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:28,360
with your story
'Chad The Impaler'!
62
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,840
We want to reward you
with this prop from the show"!
63
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,410
Slash fiction?
Denise, wow.
64
00:02:33,450 --> 00:02:35,280
It's when you write a story
about your favorite show,
65
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,020
like "Star Trek",
but Kirk and Spock are gay
66
00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:39,370
or "Gilmore Girls", but
they're guys and they're gay,
67
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:42,030
or "Stranger Things",
but it's a movie set in the '90s
68
00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:44,250
and they're --Yeah, I get -- I get it.
69
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,070
It's my second
favorite hobby.
70
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:47,680
My first is...
71
00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:49,120
We should open it!
72
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,380
I wonder what it is.
73
00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:53,340
A mirror
from Zach's house!
74
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:58,610
♪♪
75
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:08,970
♪♪
76
00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:18,280
♪♪
77
00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:24,020
And you think they're slobs
when they're alive.
78
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,240
Kevin! Kevin!
79
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,720
I won!
80
00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:29,510
My story, "Chad The Impaler",
81
00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:31,640
won the Vampire Creek
Slash Fiction competition.
82
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,600
What are you doing tonight?
83
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,860
Oh, uh, tonight?
84
00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:37,780
I-I can't tonight.
Let's celebrate tomorrow night!
85
00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:39,480
No, I want to celebrate
tonight.
86
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,480
I'm sorry, Denise.
I have a class.
87
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,390
A what?
88
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,260
Do you think all I
want to do with my
life is dig graves?
89
00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:46,740
I mean,
I don't want to brag,
90
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:48,570
but I always thought
that if I applied myself,
91
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:51,400
that I could one day,
you know...
92
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,710
What?
93
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,270
Dig swimming pools.
94
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,490
Okay,
you can miss one class.
95
00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:00,190
Why don't you tell an astronaut
to miss one class?
96
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,670
Or an assassin.
97
00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:03,980
Or one of those guys
that helps pandas have sex.
98
00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:06,810
They have a very low libido
'cause all they eat is bamboo.
99
00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:08,200
Kevin.
100
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,720
What am I to you?
101
00:04:09,770 --> 00:04:12,330
Am I the real deal,
or am I just some side piece?
102
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,990
What's a side piece?I don't know,
103
00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:16,510
but they say it a lot
on "Vampire Creek",
104
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,950
and I know it's not good.
105
00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:19,650
But it also makes me
think of chicken,
106
00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:20,820
and now I'm hungry.
107
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,650
Later, hater!
108
00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:31,660
Male sex symbol.
Seven letters.
109
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:32,750
Jack.
110
00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:34,700
Oh.
111
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:36,360
Klugman.
112
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,790
Rascal.
113
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,670
Dad,
I am soupset with Kevin.
114
00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,630
Prostate flare.
115
00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:47,110
Got to go.
116
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,070
I just wish things
were as romantic
117
00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:53,850
as they are
on "Vampire Creek".
118
00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,250
Mirror:
Denise.
119
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,770
Or that cooking show,
"One-Armed Chef."
120
00:04:57,810 --> 00:04:59,470
Denise!
121
00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:01,770
If I was dating
a guy with one arm,
122
00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:03,690
he wouldn't be digging
all the time.
123
00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:05,000
Hello!
124
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,040
Yes, thank you.
Oh. Huh?
125
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:10,040
Denise.
126
00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:14,350
♪♪
127
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,270
What?!
128
00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:20,320
Whoa.
129
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,620
Zach: Denise!
130
00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:23,320
♪♪
131
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,710
You're finally here.
132
00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,190
Is this Vampire Creek?
133
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:29,370
Yes, Denise.
134
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:31,200
I am in love with you.
135
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,980
Oh,
but TV shows aren't real.
136
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:35,200
Anything is possible
with love.
137
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,330
Is this a dream?Don't speak.
138
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,460
Okay. I can't.
139
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:39,200
Everything
you've ever wanted
140
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,770
is in this world.
141
00:05:40,810 --> 00:05:43,030
Cats dressed
as munchkins!
Sure.
142
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,900
Munchkins dressed
as cats!Yeah, okay, fine.
143
00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:46,730
Giraffes with tap--Denise, Denise,
Denise, Denise.
144
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,000
There is a reason
I brought you here.
145
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,350
In the world
of the Nosferatu,
146
00:05:51,390 --> 00:05:52,700
there is one night
147
00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:55,700
that towers above
all other nights.
148
00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:58,270
The junior prom of
Vampire Creek High School.
149
00:05:58,310 --> 00:05:59,920
And I want you
to go with me.
150
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:03,450
I want to go to vampire prom.
151
00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:04,970
But to go,
152
00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:07,320
you have to become
one of us.
153
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,760
I am notbecoming a boy
to go to prom.
154
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:11,800
No.
155
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,370
I meant a vampire.
156
00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:15,590
Just let me bite you,
157
00:06:15,630 --> 00:06:18,200
and you can stay here with me
forever.
158
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,810
If I become a vampire,
can I eat Pop
No.
159
00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:24,680
Can I go home and visit my dad
and all my friends?
160
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:25,900
No!
161
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,430
But you won't want to,
162
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,950
to watch them age and die
163
00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:31,080
as you live on
through the eons.
164
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,300
And no Pop-Tarts.
No.
165
00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:36,040
I know this is a difficult
decision to make,
166
00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,040
but keep in mind,
we have a pretty good chance
167
00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:40,180
of being voted cutest couple
in the yearbook.
168
00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:43,090
Is there any way I could,
like, have a
169
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:46,440
a trial period?
Figure it out?
170
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,750
I can give you some time
to decide,
171
00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:50,490
but once you commit
to me,
172
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,890
the only way
you can leave this world
173
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:53,930
is through death!
174
00:06:53,970 --> 00:06:55,800
Oh.
We cool?
175
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,460
Yeah, totes.
All right.
176
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,330
Remember, I am immortal,
but, uh, ticktock.
177
00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:02,160
♪♪
178
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,920
♪♪
179
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,010
I knew it.
180
00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:30,450
32 years old and she thinks
she can stay out all night.
181
00:07:30,490 --> 00:07:32,530
Kids these days.
182
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:34,490
No wonder
we can't win a war.
183
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:40,320
Aah! Aah.
184
00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:41,800
Stan, it --
185
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,550
i-it's 5:00 in the morning.
What are you doing here?
186
00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:45,900
Kev-o, you just started
seeing Denise this week, right?
187
00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:47,980
Well, it comes down
to your definition --
188
00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:50,160
Don't you think it's
a little early for sleepovers?
189
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,770
Certainly do.
190
00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,420
Let me talk to her.Oh, she's not here.
191
00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:55,170
Go get Denise.No, really, she's not here.
192
00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:56,910
Y-You're welcome
to come in and look.
193
00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:03,960
Kev-o, you and I have been
amigos for quite a while.
194
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,610
So, be honest with me.
195
00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:07,790
Did you murder
my daughter?
No!
196
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,480
You buried her alive?
No!
197
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:10,880
Ya drowned her?
No.
198
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,180
Where'd ya do it?
Winnipesaukee?
No.
199
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:13,180
Squam?
No.
200
00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:14,180
Kancamagus?
No.
201
00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:15,190
Guilty men would say "no."
202
00:08:15,230 --> 00:08:16,270
Then I diddo it!
203
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,400
No!
204
00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:19,970
I don't know
what your game is,
205
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:23,500
but I'm going to play along
because, Kev,
206
00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:24,800
I'm global.
207
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:40,780
And no cryin'!
208
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,820
I'm not crying.
You're crying!
209
00:08:44,130 --> 00:08:46,130
♪♪
210
00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:49,790
Oh, this house looks
just like it does on TV.
211
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:53,310
Oh, it's so cool.
212
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:54,790
Wow.
213
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,880
[Zach
exhales sharply]
214
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,400
Aah! Hey!
215
00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,840
So
216
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,490
you given any more thought
to what we talked about?
217
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,320
I know this isn't real,
218
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:06,670
and I-I know
this is a dream.
219
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,930
I
It's just...
220
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:09,940
I don't know.
221
00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:11,150
But it's so perfect.
222
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,680
You will get to live here
forever,
223
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,810
and I really need to feed now
anyways.
224
00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:17,600
Ah!Aah! It's just a really big
commitment, Zach.
225
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,770
I-I'm just not ready!
226
00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:20,160
I know, but...
227
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:23,170
Is there any other way
I can help?
228
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:28,480
♪♪
229
00:09:31,090 --> 00:09:33,000
Stan! I'm here!
230
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,570
I came
as soon as I could.
231
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,050
Where'd you last
see her?
232
00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:39,530
Right here in this room
in front of that mirror.
233
00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:41,660
Oh, is that the mirror
she won the other night?Yeah.
234
00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:43,670
From that show where
all the guys shave their chests.
235
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,140
And what is thatabout?
236
00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:47,100
You don't see Sean Connery
shave his chest.
237
00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:49,800
That guy had a front
like a baboon's back.
238
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,190
Okay, it's because
they're vampires
239
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,630
and they want to date
teenage girls,
240
00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,240
so even though
they're hundreds of years old,
241
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,720
they do...
242
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,420
...shave their -- When
you say it out loud, I mean...
243
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,940
Ah.
244
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,550
I-It's a show
about feelings.
245
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,340
-Stan, it's Kevin.
246
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:07,910
I dig graves
down at the cemetery.
247
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,910
I know who you are,
Kev-o.
Right. Okay.
248
00:10:09,950 --> 00:10:11,430
After you left,
249
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,040
I went and checked out
all of Denise's old haunts --
250
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,520
the abandoned car wash,
251
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:17,000
that big pile of wigs
behind the church,
252
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,480
the false teeth museum,
253
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,960
the funeral home that's only
for circus people...
254
00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:22,830
Mirror:
Evie.
255
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,360
♪♪
256
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,800
...that building
with no windows
257
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,230
where they make
old people sew,
258
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,100
the record shop
that became a video rental
259
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:32,930
that's now a phone store
that's closing,
260
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,190
that bridge that
the goats are afraid of...
261
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,460
Evie.
262
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,680
Evie.
263
00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:43,640
...that homeless guy who has
a house he just won't go in.
264
00:10:46,470 --> 00:10:47,950
Hello?
265
00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:50,380
Hang on to your hat.
The phone store's clos--
266
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,130
Oh, hell, not again.
267
00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:56,960
♪♪
268
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,570
[Indistinct conversations,
dog barking]
269
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:03,050
Lookin' good, Crazy Ray.
Lookin' good.
270
00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:06,400
Okay, you kill a hobo,
and I'll drink his blood.
271
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,010
Denise: Zach, why can't you
do this again?
272
00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:10,490
If I'm seen
killing a hobo,
273
00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:11,800
I'm gonna be linked
to all the other murders,
274
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,280
and I'll be kicked off
the yearbook.
275
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,580
Please.
276
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,670
Okay, Denise,
you can do this.
277
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:24,680
♪♪
278
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:28,770
Denise!
What are you doing?!
279
00:11:28,810 --> 00:11:31,860
Killing a hobo with a hammer!
What are youdoing?!
280
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,910
Stopping you, for one.
281
00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:36,820
It's okay.
This isn't real.
282
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,350
It's a dream,
and now you're in it!
283
00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:40,910
Denise,
this is not a dream.
284
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,780
This is some kind of
tailored reality,
285
00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:44,920
and we got to find a way
to get out of here.
286
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,010
Ah!
Aah!
287
00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:48,180
Aah!
288
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:49,530
Ah!
Found a can of peaches!
289
00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:51,440
Woman:
I found a can of peaches!
290
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,670
Hello?
291
00:11:57,710 --> 00:11:59,580
Leon,
Denise and Evie are missing.
292
00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:00,720
You better get over here.
293
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:01,930
On my way!
294
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,070
Buckets.
295
00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:15,160
♪♪
296
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,260
Oh, yeah,
that's the stuff.
297
00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:23,740
Rise, my child.
298
00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:27,310
♪♪
299
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:28,700
Aah!
Depeche Mode.
300
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:30,050
Aah!
301
00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:31,570
Why did you bring
Denise and me here?
302
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,180
You're not even
supposed to be here.
303
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,230
This world was made for Denise.
She was chosen.
304
00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:36,620
Why wasn't Ichosen?
305
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,100
It's not about you.
306
00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:39,620
Then why did you
bite me?!
307
00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:42,230
I wanted to bite Denise,
but it has to be her choice.
308
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,370
Ugh!
309
00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:44,630
Ow!
310
00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:46,060
♪♪
311
00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:47,540
How do I
get outta here?
312
00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:48,810
Oh, that's easy.
313
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:51,370
Denise just
has to kill you.
314
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:52,980
Oh!
315
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:55,380
Peachy.
316
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:56,990
Ow! Cut my tongue.
317
00:12:57,030 --> 00:12:59,250
So hungry.
318
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,080
Oh, a fridge full of blood.
319
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,340
Zach is back.
320
00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:07,910
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I scare you, my love?Yes.
321
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,610
Okay, Zach, we don't always
have to be touching.
322
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,750
What? But how is everybody gonna
know that we're dating, baby?
323
00:13:14,790 --> 00:13:16,880
There's no one here.
324
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,660
Uh, I'm here.
Not that anyone cares.
325
00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,450
♪♪
326
00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:23,010
Zach,
I need a little space, okay?Oh.
327
00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:24,580
Do you want to go do that
together?
No!
328
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:26,060
♪♪
329
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,500
Zach is confused.
330
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:34,030
I miss Kevin.
331
00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:35,370
Oh.
332
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:37,200
Oh, so you have
two boyfriends now?
333
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,600
Aah!
334
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,120
Must be nice to be you.
335
00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:45,990
I'd kill for a ham.
336
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,690
Like I said, the last time
I saw either one of them
337
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:51,960
was -- was right here
on this spot
338
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,780
in front of that mirror.
339
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,130
Chew on that for a second,
Leon.
340
00:13:55,180 --> 00:13:56,870
And I'm gonna
go get a beer.
341
00:13:58,140 --> 00:14:00,570
Mirror:
Leon.
342
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,790
What?
343
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,190
What are you reading?
344
00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:07,840
A magazine.
345
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,100
Oh, my gosh.
That's so cool.
346
00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:10,800
Can I see it?
347
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,460
Yes.
348
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,980
Bring it over.
349
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,420
I don't have
my glasses on.
350
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:19,720
There you go.
351
00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:24,770
Did you know
that mirror can talk?
352
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:26,560
It keeps
saying my name.
353
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,910
It's a shame Denise left
354
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,300
before she knew
she had a magic mirror.
355
00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:31,870
Oh.
356
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:42,750
♪♪
357
00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:44,310
Okay.
358
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,620
Oh.
359
00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:52,410
Hey, hey, hey. Slow down.
You just turned.
360
00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:55,280
I think I know
what I'm doing, okay?
361
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:59,940
♪♪
362
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,160
Whew!
363
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,850
Hachi machi.
364
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:04,200
Ahh.
365
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,120
All right, Leon,
listen carefully.
366
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,810
I'm going in that mirror.
367
00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:09,820
I want you to hang on to --
to that end of the rope,
368
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,040
and don't let go.
369
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,250
You got it?
370
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,170
I won't let you down.All right.
371
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,950
There you go, pal.
372
00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:21,920
♪♪
373
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:22,870
No!
374
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,140
Jackass.
375
00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:26,830
Eh.
376
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,060
Stan?!
377
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:36,100
♪♪
378
00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:37,760
Zach: Evie, slow down.
379
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:43,500
♪♪
380
00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:45,070
Hey!
381
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,380
You're cute.
382
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:47,510
What's your name?
383
00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:48,510
Uh-oh.
384
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:49,730
Bartholomew.
385
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:51,080
King of the Southern Realm.
386
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,990
Well, Bart...
387
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:56,560
your name
rhymes with "fart".
388
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,170
Deal with it.
389
00:15:58,210 --> 00:15:59,650
♪♪
390
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,870
Hello?
Stan.
391
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,090
No, this is Leon.
392
00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,490
Leon,
what are you doing there?
393
00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:11,920
You're not dating Stan,
are you?
394
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:14,790
No! I'm talking
to the magic mirror
that ate Denise.
395
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,060
Oh, good.
396
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,970
Because if you were
dating Stan --
397
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,670
The magic mirror?!
398
00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:21,850
What the hell is this?
399
00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:24,800
Why is everybody
dressed like a pirate?
400
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:27,550
Evie?
What the hell happened to you?
401
00:16:27,590 --> 00:16:28,630
Stan!
402
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,550
Oh, Stan.
403
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,940
I'm so happy to see you!
404
00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:36,690
You know, earlier tonight,
I met a guy named Fart.
405
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,430
Woman,
have you seen yourself?
406
00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:39,650
Oh, no, I can't.
407
00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:41,690
I don't have a reflection
anymore.
408
00:16:41,730 --> 00:16:44,170
But seriously,
who would name their baby Fart?
409
00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:46,480
Oh!
410
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,440
Yeah!
411
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,310
Bye-bye, Stan.
412
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:52,090
Oh, my God.
413
00:16:53,310 --> 00:16:55,880
Bats are just
hang-gliding mice.
414
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,750
I better tell Fart.
415
00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:00,280
All right, you hang on
to this end of the rope.
416
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,020
I'm going
through the mirror.
417
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:03,890
You good?
Got it.
418
00:17:03,930 --> 00:17:05,670
Let's do it!
419
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:07,060
Wait!
You might want to --
420
00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:12,460
♪♪
421
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,770
Oh, shit.
422
00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:15,120
Oh, poop.
423
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,650
Mm.
424
00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:31,920
Ew!
425
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,530
Ohh.
426
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:36,660
I'm okay!
427
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,140
Nope.
428
00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:41,230
Don't be mad at me!
429
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,880
Zach: Everyone?
430
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,970
Excuse me, if I can get
your attention, please.
431
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:49,500
It is time to announce
prom royalty!
432
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,680
Our beautiful prom queen...
433
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,850
...D-D-D-Denise!
434
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:56,900
What?
435
00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:58,290
It's me.
436
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,770
♪♪
437
00:18:01,810 --> 00:18:03,380
Huh?
438
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:09,870
♪♪
439
00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:14,350
♪♪
440
00:18:14,390 --> 00:18:16,610
Time to decide, Denise.
441
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,180
Want to stay here?
442
00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:20,310
-Denise, join us.
-Join us.
443
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,440
The floor is nice.
444
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,530
Kevin: Denise!
445
00:18:25,580 --> 00:18:27,010
Denise, it's me!
446
00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:28,970
Kevin?
447
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,500
It's me -- Kevin!
448
00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,240
Hi.
I dig graves
in the cemetery!
449
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,500
I-I hear you.
I-I-I see your face.
450
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:41,420
Denise!
451
00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:45,770
Denise, come home.
452
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,210
I was afraid.
453
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,300
Of what?
454
00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:51,080
I-I was afraid
455
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,690
you'd get to know me
456
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,350
and think I was gross.
457
00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:55,870
No!
458
00:18:55,910 --> 00:18:57,480
Well...
Doesn't matter.
459
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,920
You can't stay here.
This is a fantasy.
460
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,700
This whole thing is something
you want to be real,
461
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,180
and it's not.
462
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,320
Like -- Like guardian angels
or -- or the Hulk.
463
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,230
Ow!
No!
464
00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:12,450
Ohh!
465
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:14,020
Oh, that hurts!
466
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:15,190
Yeah.
467
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,240
It's like stepping
on a nail,
468
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,980
but with your neck.
469
00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:21,420
♪♪
470
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,640
All right, Zach,
471
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,250
I will let you
turn me into a vampire.
472
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,120
But please
let my friends go.
473
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,600
The only way
your friends can leave
474
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,430
is if you kill them.
475
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:35,340
Kill them as in
they'll be...dead?
476
00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:37,430
That's the only way
they can go back.
477
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,830
Okay.
478
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,970
Kevin, I really, really
liked what you had to say.
479
00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:52,100
Thanks.
480
00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:54,580
Ohh!
481
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,840
Ohh!
482
00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:00,670
Denise:
Evie, I'm really sorry,
483
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,240
but I'm gonna have to stab you
through the heart
484
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:03,680
with this table leg.
485
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,200
Oh, that's okay.
Just don't move me.
486
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,420
Okay.
487
00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:10,200
5, 6, 7, 8.
488
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,300
You ever found yourself
on the back of a Harley
489
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:19,650
at sunrise
in Kennebunkport?
490
00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:21,000
No, no.
491
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,390
Now,
don't you go turning me
492
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,610
into a sparkling pile
of lady dust.
493
00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:28,740
Dad, I think I'm gonna enjoy
killing you most of all.
494
00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:30,140
No, no.
495
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,100
No! Ohh!
496
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,360
Aah!
497
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,020
It's time, Denise.
498
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,150
This world
was made for you.
499
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,020
I know.
That's the problem.
500
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:52,250
Aah!
Ohh, you can't kill Zach!
501
00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:54,990
Obviously, you can.
I'm just being dramatic.
502
00:20:55,030 --> 00:20:56,820
♪♪
503
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,990
Still the queen, though,
right?
504
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,260
Yeah!
505
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:08,480
Is everyone okay?
506
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,870
This never happened.
507
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,620
Is everybody
understood on that?
508
00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:16,400
Uh-huh.
509
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,320
So, my plan worked.
510
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:22,320
♪♪
511
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,930
Mirror:
Bye, nerds.
32880
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