Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,170 --> 00:00:04,520
Previously
on "Stan Against Evil"...
2
00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:10,220
♪♪
3
00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:15,450
♪♪
4
00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:25,020
♪♪
5
00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:30,630
Sorry.
6
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:37,680
♪♪
7
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,560
Tonight's episode...
8
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,740
"Cuckoo for Murder Puffs."
9
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,300
♪♪
10
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:08,980
♪♪
11
00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:15,110
♪♪
12
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,160
Headed to Willard's Mill?
13
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,550
Hop on in, friend.
14
00:01:24,690 --> 00:01:26,260
Car trouble?
15
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:27,600
Assumed it'd be
car trouble,
16
00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:28,950
though I don't see
a car back there.
17
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,170
Are you hurt?
I could take you
to the hospital.
18
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:33,480
Not hurt.
19
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,790
So, um, what brings you
to Willard's Mill?
20
00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:42,920
I'm here
to collect souls.
21
00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:45,930
And here we are.
Willard's Mill.
22
00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:47,800
Just cut through those trees,
and it's about 18 miles.
23
00:01:52,370 --> 00:01:54,720
Good, good, good.
24
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,200
Just get out of the car,
25
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,070
just like you're doing now,
and, uh...
26
00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,120
...great.
27
00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:01,550
Ohh!
28
00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:03,810
No, no, no!
No, no!
29
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:06,820
♪♪
30
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:13,870
♪♪
31
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:23,880
♪♪
32
00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:35,240
Denise!
33
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,760
You been flushing stale bread
down the toilet again?
34
00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:42,810
You call it "flushing bread
down the toilet."
35
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:45,290
I call it
"feeding the sewer pigeons."
36
00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:46,770
But I've told you,
37
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:48,250
there -- there is
no such thing as the --
38
00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:54,690
Just call the plumber,
will you, please?
39
00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:57,080
Can you do it?
I'm still getting ready.
40
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:59,440
Kevin's taking me to see
the original play
41
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,700
that inspired all
the "Fast and Furious" movies.
42
00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:05,180
I don't look too slutty, do I?
43
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:06,220
♪♪
44
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,570
Oh, I just look so warped.
45
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:10,970
And dented.
46
00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,880
Oh. Ugh.
47
00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:15,890
Sweetheart,
you look fine.
48
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,540
Go out
and have a good time.
49
00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:19,670
Or go out
and have a bad time,
50
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,070
but -- but for
the love of Christ,
51
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:22,150
just go out.
52
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,630
Just go out.
Just go out.
53
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:25,980
Just go out.
Okay.
54
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:27,290
Just go out.
55
00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:30,210
♪♪
56
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:31,470
Yeah, well, make it quick.
57
00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:33,510
My kitchen smells like
a fart threw up.
58
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:34,730
Ah.
59
00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:36,040
[Receiver slams,
doorbell rings]
60
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,120
Hmm.
61
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,170
You called for a plumber?
62
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,040
I just hung up.
63
00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,260
Sorry for
the great service, pal.
64
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,140
Either this guy
was savagely beaten,
65
00:03:48,180 --> 00:03:49,620
or this car was driven by
66
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:51,920
a hundred pounds of lasagna
in a suit.
67
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,270
Oof.
68
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,270
That looks like
a pot of beef stroganoff
69
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,800
in a three-piece suit.
70
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,100
I said lasagna.
71
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,020
That's funny!
72
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,450
That's --
73
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,720
Mm.
74
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,060
Sorry I'm late.
75
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,890
I had a crazy weekend
down in Boston
76
00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:07,200
at the Deputies Convention.
77
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:08,720
There's
a Deputies Convention?
78
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,250
Yeah, Dep-Con.
79
00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:11,380
I got second place
80
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,340
in the second-in-command
contest,
81
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,860
which, of course,
is their first place.
82
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,690
Wow.
I also got this.
83
00:04:17,730 --> 00:04:19,210
It's a SmartStick.
84
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,170
Yeah, it's linked
to an app on my phone.
85
00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:24,870
It gives me realtime updates
on the stick's location.
86
00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:28,440
SmartStick App:
SmartStick location -- hip.
87
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,830
And it's also got a wicked
theft-prevention feature.
88
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,490
It electrocutes anyone
who tries to grab it from me.
89
00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:35,100
Or me if I grab it wrong.
90
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:38,010
So, what are
we thinking here?
91
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,490
Suicide?
92
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,890
Leon, his head is twisted
all the way around
93
00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:44,020
and half his bones
are broken.
94
00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:47,460
Eh, must have really
hated himself.
95
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,720
Mm-hmm.
96
00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:52,810
Mr. Miller?
97
00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:53,980
Can I show you something?
98
00:04:54,030 --> 00:04:56,770
Uh, what do you got?
99
00:04:56,810 --> 00:04:59,080
A C.H.U.D.
100
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,640
Cannibalistic Humanoid
Underground Dweller.
101
00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:04,470
What are you, dense?I'm not much of a reader.
102
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,870
Look at that.
103
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,700
Plumber: Die!
104
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:12,960
What the hell
are ya doing?
105
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,230
Stop resisting!
106
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,790
Well, you have exactly
zero upper-body strength.
107
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:21,970
Die! Die!
108
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,100
Oh, stop.
109
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:25,020
Ohh! God!
110
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,320
Right on the knob.
111
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,590
Forget it.
112
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,720
What are you,
one of these demons
113
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,860
sent by Constable Eccles
to kill me and Evie?
114
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,070
No.Yeah.
115
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,290
Yeah, and you need
to be killed real soon.
116
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:44,950
We know what you're up to
with Haurus.
117
00:05:44,990 --> 00:05:46,910
Can I ask you
a personal question?
118
00:05:46,950 --> 00:05:48,260
Yeah. Why not?
119
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:51,040
What do they
call you down there?
120
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,740
The Red Ninja?
Oh!
121
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,780
Eh, my heart's not in it,
okay?
122
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,440
I mean, who could care?Mm-hmm.
123
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:05,840
They sent me here,
I tried, and I failed.
124
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:09,230
Okay,
I'll get outta your hair.
125
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,800
Just a second there,
Bruce Lee.
126
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,800
You ain't fixing
my toilet?
127
00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:15,720
You know I'm not
a real plumber, right?
128
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:16,980
Give it your best shot.
129
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:19,030
Hell never ends.
130
00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:20,330
Mm.
131
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,680
Hey, I'm good at this!Stan: Yeah.
132
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,080
Can I, uh, pick your brain
for a second, there?Sure.
133
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,340
Bill, by the way.
134
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:27,770
Bill the Demon.
Terrific stuff.
135
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:28,950
Stanley Miller.
136
00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,170
Stan.
137
00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:31,650
Oh.
138
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:36,700
♪♪
139
00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,780
Kevin: Uh, Denise,
140
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:41,660
this is not the Yaphet Kotto
Community Playhouse.
141
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,090
No.
142
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:47,880
This is where kids park
and...canoodle.
143
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,930
Oh.
144
00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:51,970
Oh!
145
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,320
Oh...
146
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,200
Mm.
147
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,150
Mm.
Mm.
148
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,290
Mm.
Mm.
149
00:07:01,330 --> 00:07:02,460
I can't do this!I knew it.
150
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,200
You're Amish.
No.
151
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,810
No, it --
it's that kid over there.
152
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,380
He keeps staring at us.
153
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,250
♪♪
154
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,040
I'll go talk to him.
155
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,820
♪♪
156
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:19,740
What's your problem?
157
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,480
Hey, uh, buddy,
158
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,270
could ya maybe
not stare?
159
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,090
Trying to get in the zone.
160
00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:30,140
Hey.
161
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:34,360
♪♪
162
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,320
Kevin: My God!
163
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,320
This guy has no bones.
164
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,330
Wait a minute.
165
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,980
His girlfriend is dead.
166
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:48,330
This guy with no bones
is dating a dead woman!
167
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:51,420
Kevin,
they're both dead.
168
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,250
♪♪
169
00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:54,600
You're right.
170
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,380
I better get digging.
171
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,340
What?!
Sorry.
172
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,260
I'm -- I'm always
at work in my head.
173
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:04,220
♪♪
174
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,790
Personally,
I don't care what you do,
175
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,570
but I'm not the one
calling the shots.
176
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:12,230
If I was, I probably wouldn't
have gotten burned at the stake.
177
00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:14,750
You know what I mean?Eccles.
178
00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:16,320
That son of a bitch.
179
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,410
He's gonna get what's
coming to him soon enough.
180
00:08:18,450 --> 00:08:20,500
But let me pivot,
Bill the Demon.
181
00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:23,060
You say you're familiar
with this demon named Haurus?
182
00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:24,460
Yeah.
183
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,670
Yeah, I know him.
184
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,110
I need to find a way
to contact him.
185
00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:29,680
I need -- I need to get
in touch with this guy.
186
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:30,810
You don't want to do that.
187
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:33,990
Evie: Stan? Stan.
188
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,730
Stan,
we got another demon...
189
00:08:36,770 --> 00:08:39,430
...stration to present
at the senior center
190
00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:41,430
about why old people
open their mouths
191
00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,780
when they're driving.
192
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,000
It's okay, it's okay.
This is Bill.
193
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,740
Bill, this is Evie.
Evie, this is Bill.
194
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:48,220
Bill's a demon.
195
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:50,260
Hands where I can see 'em!
196
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:52,570
They are
where you can see 'em.
197
00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:53,620
Aha!
198
00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,320
Thank you
for your compliance.
199
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:02,840
Why are you having
a beer with him?
200
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,760
Oh, take it easy.
Bill's good people, huh?
201
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,320
It's not his fault
he's a demon.
202
00:09:06,370 --> 00:09:07,370
Right, pal?
203
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,590
Well, it is his fault that
204
00:09:09,630 --> 00:09:11,980
two teenagers
and a motorist are dead.
205
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,240
No, no, no.
That wasn't me.
206
00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:14,550
That was the Bondsman.
207
00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:15,720
The who?
208
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:17,460
Yeah, so,
if you don't kill me
209
00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:18,990
and I don't kill you,
210
00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:21,290
Eccles sends this, uh, demon
they call the Bondsman
211
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:24,340
to drag me
back to the pit.
212
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:26,260
And I was hoping
to have a little time
213
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,300
to just hang out.
Ah.
214
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,960
The leaves are so gorgeous
this time of year.
215
00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:34,480
If the Bondsman
is only after you,
216
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:36,570
why is he killing
other people?
217
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,750
"Because he likes it."
218
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:41,360
"Dirty Harry!"
Yes!
219
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,620
Oh!
Classic stuff, Bill.
220
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:46,320
You know,
I took my wife, Claire,
221
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,760
to that on our first date.
222
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,540
She loves that movie.
223
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:51,240
Oh, nice!
224
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,540
Hello?
225
00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:54,330
Does that mean
that the "Bondsman"
226
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:55,630
is gonna kill us, too?
227
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:56,630
Oh, yeah.
228
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,110
And he'll do it in a way
229
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,330
that'll really make you wish
I had killed you.
230
00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:00,940
Hmm.
231
00:10:00,990 --> 00:10:02,860
Then you need to turn yourself
in to this Bondsman
232
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,290
before anybody else
gets hurt.
233
00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:06,990
Oh, now, hold your horses,
hold your horses.
234
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,340
You understand,
235
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,130
I've learned more
about Constable Eccles
236
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:11,480
in the last hour
237
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,130
than we've figured out
in the last two years.
238
00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:14,780
Here's my idea.
239
00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:17,440
We figure out how to get rid
of this Bondsman,
240
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,610
and then we put Bill the Demon
on the starting squad.
241
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,750
Do you love it?
242
00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:21,920
Blow it up.
243
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,750
Yeah,
you know what I'm saying.
244
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,620
Uh...
245
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:26,930
Oh...
246
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:28,750
Yeah, I'm s--
I'm sorry, Bill.
247
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,230
I have a town
to protect.
248
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:33,370
No, she --
she's right, Stan.
249
00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:35,330
It's --
It's the right thing to do.
250
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:36,720
Okay.
251
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,760
There is one thing
I'd like to do first.
252
00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:40,070
Grab another brew?
253
00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:41,770
Second.
254
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:54,870
That's a demon joke.Evie:
Yeah, no, I get it.
255
00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,690
I don't like it.
256
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,960
Nobody likes it.
257
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,700
I'm a demon.
258
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:01,310
♪♪
259
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,050
Bill: This is me.
260
00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:06,010
♪♪
261
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,710
It's a weird thing
to stand over your own grave.
262
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,320
I don't recommend it.
263
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,010
Yeah, actually,
we, uh --
264
00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:14,710
We've...been through
some stuff.
265
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,540
I lost my wife
the winter before I died.
266
00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:19,460
The snows came.
267
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,550
We had no food or firewood.
268
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:24,370
That's when the bear got her.
269
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:27,550
I killed it, skinned it,
used its fur for warmth,
270
00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:29,730
and ate like a king
for the rest of the winter.
271
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,120
♪♪
272
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,820
Thank God for that bear.
273
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,910
♪♪
274
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:36,870
It's a shame you
haven't figured out how
to open The Passage.
275
00:11:36,910 --> 00:11:38,170
You could free
all these people.
276
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:39,690
The what, now?
277
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,170
The Passage that connects
the land of the living
278
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,790
and the realm of the dead.
279
00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:45,530
There's a spell that'll
reverse the flow of energy
280
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:46,740
between the two worlds.
281
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,920
And what would that do?
282
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,840
Well, basically,
it would take all the souls
283
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,100
that Eccles has imprisoned
and spit them back out,
284
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,100
and then the Bondsman,
who's here,
285
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,970
would be sucked back in.
286
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,580
You hear that, Barret?
287
00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,980
This --
288
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,410
This could be it.
289
00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:03,200
Stan --No, hear me out.
290
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,020
Eccles is only as strong
as his army.
291
00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:06,850
You take away
his soldiers,
292
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,770
and he's just
another jerkoff in a hat.
293
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,860
Now, Bill the Demon,
do you know this spell?
294
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:13,510
No.
295
00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:15,770
I wouldn't begin to know
where to look for it.
296
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:16,990
♪♪
297
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,350
♪♪
298
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,560
Well, that's
an interesting theory,
299
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,440
but I don't see how
two dead people
300
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,130
could meet up
and go on a date.
301
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,440
Well...
302
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,270
Well, you two kids
best get home.
303
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:33,920
Oh, Kevin, I'm gonna
need that blanket.
304
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,270
Can't I keep it?
305
00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,580
You got, like,
five of them now.
306
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:44,150
Keep it. Yes!
307
00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:46,670
[Car door closes,
engine starts]
308
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:57,770
♪♪
309
00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:04,870
♪♪
310
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,790
♪♪
311
00:13:16,570 --> 00:13:18,440
Say hello
to my SmartStick!
312
00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:20,710
SmartStick app:
SmartStick location --
on ground.
313
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:21,710
Aah.
314
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:31,590
♪♪
315
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,810
♪♪
316
00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:36,510
Bondsman:
317
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:43,560
♪♪
318
00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:47,690
You better run!
319
00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:51,520
Aaah!
320
00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:57,960
♪ Ba-da-ba-da-ba-bee-da-da-da
321
00:13:58,010 --> 00:13:59,400
♪ Ba-dee-ba-da-ba-da-da
322
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,270
♪ Ba-da, ba-da
323
00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:03,140
♪ Ba, ba-da-ba-da
324
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:06,190
♪ Ba bup, ba bup,
ba, ba-ba ♪
325
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:09,580
♪ Ba, ba-da-ba-da,
ba-da, ba-da, da ♪
326
00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:11,370
♪ Ba, ba-da-da,
ba, ba-da-da ♪
327
00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:12,720
♪ Ba-ba, da
328
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,980
♪ Ba-ba-da ♪ Ba-ba-da
329
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,330
♪ Ba-ba, ba
330
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:16,760
♪ Ba, ba-da-da,
ba, ba-da-da ♪
331
00:14:16,810 --> 00:14:18,330
♪ Ba-ba-da-ba, ba
332
00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:19,330
♪ Ba-ba, ba-da
333
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,680
♪ Ba-ba, ba-da, bup
334
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:23,990
Had enough?
335
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,730
♪ Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da
336
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,510
♪ Ba-ba, ba-da ♪ Ba-ba, ba-da
337
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,170
♪ Ba, ba-ba-da-da ♪ Ba, ba-ba-da-da
338
00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:30,870
♪ Ba bup, ba bup
339
00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:32,610
♪ Ba bup, ba bup
340
00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:35,040
♪ Ba, da
341
00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:37,610
♪ Ba, da
342
00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:39,530
♪ Ba SmartStick App:
User not recognized.
343
00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:44,180
Aah!
344
00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:45,490
Aah!
345
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:49,490
There's more
where that came from!
346
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,060
SmartStick App:
User not recognized.
347
00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:58,850
Okay, Leon,
well, just stay on him.
348
00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:00,550
Okay, don't stay on him.
349
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:02,110
We're putting together
a plan now.
350
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,070
Any luck?Nothing here.
351
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,250
Oh-ho, hey, guys,
I think this might be it.
352
00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:10,170
"The Decussation
of the Passage."
353
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,730
Uh...
354
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,000
So, okay, we go back
to where we're all buried
355
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,130
and chant this spell.
356
00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:18,870
And then, "what is imprisoned
shall be free,
357
00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,830
and what is free
shall be imprisoned."
358
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:23,570
In other words,
the Bondsman is toast,
359
00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:26,660
and I'm a free man!
360
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,750
And the other trapped souls
will be free, as well?
361
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:31,320
Well, that --
that's what it says here, so --
362
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,970
so, what -- what --
what do you think?
363
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:35,540
Can you give us a sec?
364
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,280
Uh, sure, yeah.
No problem.
365
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,410
I...gotta use
the little demon's room, anyway.
366
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,200
Is this
too good to be true?
367
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,420
Yeah.
368
00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:51,290
But think about
all the stuff
369
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:53,640
that was too bad
to be true, huh?
370
00:15:53,690 --> 00:15:54,990
Huh?
Let's -- Let's --
371
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,470
Let's not look a gift horse
in the mouth.
372
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,300
Take it from one
who's had a gift horse --
373
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:01,350
it doesn't always
work out great.
374
00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:03,610
I'm done.
375
00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:07,700
I'm -- I'm done with
the endless parade of freaks.
376
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,350
Listen to me.
377
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,830
We have
an honest-to-God chance
378
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,230
to leave this party
early.
379
00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:15,930
And I'm taking it.
380
00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:22,630
♪♪
381
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:24,670
This is nice.
382
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,460
We can go see that play
some other time.
383
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:28,940
I just realized,
384
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,550
I think I'm gonna
have to see those kids again
385
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,720
at least one more time.
386
00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:33,030
You think
it'll be awkward?
387
00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:34,250
I don't think so.
388
00:16:34,290 --> 00:16:35,470
They seemed nice.
389
00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:37,340
Mm.
Mm.
390
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,520
♪♪
391
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,780
Hey, guys!Aah!
392
00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:41,780
Dad, what are you
doing here?
393
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:43,390
What are you doing here?
394
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:46,220
Well, it's been
a dead people kind of day.
395
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:47,610
Evie:
Heh, that's great.
396
00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:49,090
Listen, I know
this is last-minute,
397
00:16:49,130 --> 00:16:50,610
but does either of you
have any interest
398
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,090
in being a part
of a demonic ritual?
399
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:53,750
We need
two more for a set.Well --
400
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:55,230
We're kind of
in the middle
401
00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:56,710
Just take a minute.
402
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:57,880
Okay.
403
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,320
Then this
will all be over.
404
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,190
Follow Bill the Demon.
405
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,540
Kevin: Okay.Stan:
Come on, sweetheart.
406
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:03,930
Denise: Chop-chop, Kev.
407
00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:05,720
This is so awkward, Dad.
408
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:06,800
♪♪
409
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,810
♪♪
410
00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:14,810
Listen,
no matter what happens,
411
00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,070
I just want to say
412
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,550
I really enjoyed
hanging with you guys,
413
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,380
and I'm glad
I didn't kill you.
414
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:20,820
And I-I-I'd just like
to say --
415
00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:22,380
I don't want to get
too emotional here,
416
00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:23,820
but, brother,
we're all very lucky
417
00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:24,950
that you suck at your job.
418
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,080
This guy!
-Yow!
419
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,300
-You!
-You!
420
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:29,610
-You!
-Oh, no, you!
421
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:31,050
Stan: Come on, now,
let's, uh --
422
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:33,180
Let's bang out
some spells and --
423
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,660
and spring us
some goddamned souls.
424
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:38,100
What do you say?
How's it go?
425
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:42,060
All:
Convertant Lucam Lenebre
426
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:46,100
Viitet Mortuus Est,
427
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:51,370
Aperis Obscura
Haeccun Dei.
428
00:17:51,410 --> 00:17:56,160
♪♪
429
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,460
Uh...
430
00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,730
What's happening?
431
00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:01,950
Denise:
Why am I floating?
432
00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:03,120
♪♪
433
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,430
Stan: Hey, cabrone.
434
00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:07,040
T-This is part of the show,
right?
435
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,170
Okay, confession time.
436
00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:11,480
The spell
you just recited is --
437
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,960
Well, basically, you just
condemned yourselves to Hell.
438
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,660
Bill!
What?
439
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:19,620
♪♪
440
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:22,230
I know. I conned you.
I'm sorry.
441
00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:24,400
Actually, I'm not sorry.
442
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:26,140
Well,
I'm sorry I'm not sorry.
443
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,450
Can you be that?
I think I'm that.
444
00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:29,710
♪♪
445
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,370
And The Passage?
For the souls?
446
00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,370
No such thing!
I made it up.
447
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,370
See, Stan?
What did I tell you?
448
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:41,070
I said
it's too good to be true!
449
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,680
Oh, no,
that's just great.
450
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:44,510
Kick the guy
on his way to Hell.
451
00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:46,250
Real sportsmanlike.
452
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,250
This is all your fault,
Stan.
453
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:49,950
Because you are messing
454
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:53,130
with forces
you don't understand.
455
00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:54,480
I always wanted to say that.
456
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,570
And the, uh --
the Bondsman,
457
00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:58,260
he was working with you
the whole time, huh?
458
00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:00,440
No!
That's the best part --
459
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,790
there is no "Bondsman"!
460
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,400
I made him up, too!
461
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,490
Who's killing
all those people?
462
00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,400
I don't know! Some nut!
463
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,060
Just a happy coincidence.
464
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,540
Uh, but it made the lie
so much easier to sell.
465
00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:13,100
Just,
it kinda wrote itself!
466
00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:14,710
♪♪
467
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,320
And now it's time
for you to go.
468
00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:17,720
♪♪
469
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:24,420
Aragoth, norgoth,
zorgoth --
470
00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:26,600
♪♪
471
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,640
Ah-gah-gah-gah-gah!
Gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!
472
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,120
Bondsman:
473
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,210
Ohh!
474
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,560
♪♪
475
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,560
Aah!
476
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,910
Who are you?
477
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,660
I'm the Collector of Souls.
478
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:44,830
Who are you, really?
479
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,700
I'm Billy Ray Tugmeyer.
480
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,180
I'm an escaped lunatic.
481
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,710
Denise: You saved us.I did?
482
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,970
Yeah. This guy was about
to send us to Hell.
483
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:55,280
Oh.
That's nice.
484
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,360
Anyway...
485
00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:01,980
♪♪
486
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,760
Leon: Freeze!
487
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:09,860
That's him!
488
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,470
Good timing.
489
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,680
I got this.
490
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,610
SmartStick app:
Broken femur.
491
00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:23,700
Evie: Okay.
492
00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:26,050
Leon, I think we're...good.
We're good.
493
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,310
Uh...
494
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,570
Broken sacrum.Hey, Stan.
495
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:31,920
What'd this one mean
about, uh,
496
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,970
you "messing with powers
you don't understand"?
497
00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:37,060
Come on.
You know these demons.
498
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,490
Diarrhea of the mouth,
constipation of the brain.
499
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,150
Let's go home.
500
00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:45,460
Eh, okay.
501
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:49,370
Congratulations.
11 calories burned.
502
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:57,770
I've had about enough
of this thing.
503
00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:07,830
SmartStick location --
alone.
504
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:12,790
Leon?
505
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:16,230
Come back.
506
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,270
I'm afraid, Leon.
507
00:21:22,230 --> 00:21:23,490
Leon?
508
00:21:23,540 --> 00:21:26,110
[Johann Strauss'
"The Blue Danube"plays]
32863
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
