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1
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:08,076
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,630
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,076
they were given by him upstairs
4
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,153
and kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:22,198
What sounds on earth
could ever replace
6
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,431
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
7
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,909
Cos this, people reckon,
and me included,
8
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,993
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented
9
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:37,837
to calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
10
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,469
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:45,712
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,873
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:57,399
Imagine a Britain without
Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,835
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:03,754
Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,799
Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now!
17
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,074
FRANK LAUGHS
18
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,469
Scatter.
19
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,198
Party!
20
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,596
(Frank) A good friend once said to me -
21
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,069
Bob the Bullshit I think -
"Everybody's at it.
22
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,549
"And if they're not, they should be."
23
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,755
Meaning, I suppose,
24
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,673
that nobody is actually who they seem.
25
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,431
We're all of us deceiving each other,
26
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,795
and ourselves, most of the time.
27
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,919
Pretending to be something,
or someone, that we're not.
28
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,916
And nothing is what it seems.
29
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,911
Do you ever give up, Tom?
30
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,672
Please, not now.
31
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,354
Don't flatter yourself. Where's Frank?
32
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,429
What's he done now?
33
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,078
Jesus.
34
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,597
Leave it out!
35
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,272
- What are you doing?
- He's wanted.
36
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,316
Does he look like
he's ever had a credit card?
37
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,153
Over 20 grand owed on his Visa.
38
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,674
Another 12 on a new car, two on a plasma,
39
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,671
four on a fortnight in Dubai.
40
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:25,069
Hello? Sunkissed?!
41
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,357
- Three different addresses.
- And Frank's details on them all.
42
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,798
Sorry...
43
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,110
Well done, Dad.
44
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,555
- It'll be a mistake.
- There's no need to manhandle him.
45
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,868
(Carl) Why the bad manners?
46
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,359
We know it wasn't you.
47
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,273
So why the brutality?
48
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,759
Yeah, harassment.
49
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:48,311
Lorraine Kelly here
going all Regan and Carter.
50
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,755
Your identity was stolen.
51
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,114
My identity?
52
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,553
Have a look at this.
53
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,198
Is nothing sacred?
54
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,999
It's your civic duty.
You ignored three summonses.
55
00:02:58,080 --> 00:02:59,832
We had no choice but to collect you.
56
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,480
Duh! I'm exempt.
57
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,599
Special dispensation,
by-product of a colourful existence.
58
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,193
You haven't got a criminal record.
59
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,915
I haven't... I haven't?
Of course I haven't!
60
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,718
Not now, anyway.
61
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,156
The system crashed and was unable
to differentiate where the ID theft began.
62
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,071
Couldn't specify which crimes were yours.
63
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,991
So they all got wiped.
64
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,753
You're a very lucky man. Clean slate.
65
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,832
A whole world of employment opportunities.
66
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,354
And eligible for jury service.
67
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,675
All right, Frank?
68
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,318
All right, Dessie.
69
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,191
Hiya, Frank!
70
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,635
All right, Phil.
71
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,637
Step this way, lads,
for the Amazing Madchester Music Tour.
72
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,199
Guaranteed to see some stars.
73
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,635
Easy money, mate.
74
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:03,914
This clip's banging.
75
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,116
MC Tunes in the pink limo crib.
76
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,159
Manchester vibes in the area.
Let's 'ave it!
77
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,310
Fuck's sake.
How do you spell "provocateur"?
78
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,719
Oi, got punters out here.
79
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,714
You know, like, in the posh knickers?
80
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,031
All right? These babies
will reach all your parts.
81
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,475
MUSIC: Wrote For Luck by Happy Mondays
82
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:25,629
Make yourself comfy.
83
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,635
Don't drive too fast!
84
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,598
CAR STEREO BLARES
85
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,478
- Hacienda. Used to love it in there, me.
- Those flats?
86
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,630
The Sex Pistols played there in the '60s,
87
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,633
- and loads of other bands saw them.
- Not 1976? The Free Trade Hall?
88
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,468
Nah. That's an hotel.
89
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,516
Where's Canal Street from here?
90
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,875
What do you want to know that for?
91
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,792
It was terrifying the first time.
92
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,792
- It's a sensitive area.
- It's my role though, Pat.
93
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,589
This could be my last chance.
I'm a good mother. It's what I excel at.
94
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:18,595
Loads of men have them reversed.
Realise they've made a mistake.
95
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,274
It wasn't a mistake.
We've had enough for a hurling team.
96
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,920
And lost one.
97
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,956
We don't want any more at this stage.
98
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,235
We should be content with our grandchild.
99
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,629
- But she's not here.
- She's two doors away.
100
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:31,835
BABY CRIES IN DISTANCE
101
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,717
Listen.
102
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,634
But it doesn't feel like enough, Paddy.
Why's she always crying?
103
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,632
God knows what Liam's doing
when Mandy's not looking.
104
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,551
That was a definite error of judgement
105
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,110
forging a union with that pikey gene pool.
Mercy, she's such a doll.
106
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,758
BABY CONTINUES TO CRY
107
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,079
- They'd be better off here.
- There's hardly the room.
108
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,994
I'd happily kick out Scooby or Shaggy.
109
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,389
Maybe that's what I need
to stop the yearning.
110
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,472
And if you're shirking
your genetic responsibility...
111
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,357
Hey, I've been a prolific provider.
112
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,032
...she might come home here.
113
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,839
Her and the baby.
114
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,195
What do you think? It could be a plan.
115
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:15,398
Why's Shane dressed like Buddy Holly?
116
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,555
The seriousness of these accusations
cannot be overestimated.
117
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:25,634
Selling counterfeit merchandise
is indicative of the insidious methods
118
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,474
criminal networks employ
to fund their illegal activities.
119
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,437
Pay attention!
120
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,670
And don't you dare drool on me.
121
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,873
He's a Scouser. All day.
122
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,273
SHE CLEARS THROAT
123
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,475
Yeah.
124
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,191
Came prepared?
125
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,840
As always.
126
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:11,989
Helen.
127
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,433
Frank Gallagher.
128
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,034
- First time?
- Bored off my tits.
129
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,156
It can get tedious.
130
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,310
You're familiar with the surroundings?
131
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,278
I come whenever I can.
But only the public gallery.
132
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,079
Yeah, been a regular myself.
133
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,799
Only the cheap seats, though.
If you know what I mean.
134
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:41,829
I would imagine if I were selling
counterfeit goods to raise funds
135
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,559
for a terrorist cell or a drug cartel,
136
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,632
I would also be afraid
to assist the police in their enquiries.
137
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:52,790
MUSIC: Stop Me If You've Heard
This One Before by The Smiths
138
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:57,510
This is where The Smiths met. They
sometimes come back here for inspiration.
139
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:58,555
BELL RINGS
140
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,359
- Look! There he is. That's Morrissey.
- No way!
141
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,634
Wow.
142
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,229
Bloody hell.
143
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,232
Did you see him? Told you.
144
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:18,233
Just don't know who you might
run into round here if you're lucky.
145
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,708
Way! This is mental.
146
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,915
All right? Hello, mate.
147
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,558
All right.
148
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,835
What's that knobhead waving at?
149
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,715
Liam's good as gold!
He's brilliant with Katie.
150
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,119
I'm sure he is, sweetheart.
151
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:45,876
Your mother's just feeling sensitive.
We hear Katie crying a lot.
152
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,633
It's what happens when children compete.
153
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:52,110
She's just going through a phase.
154
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,192
Talking about having another baby.
No danger there.
155
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,953
But she's got this notion
that you and Katie moving in
156
00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,598
will be an adequate surrogate.
157
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,869
There's no space. She's in her own bed.
158
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,793
I understand.
159
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,872
But you know your mother.
She wants her little girls home.
160
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,789
That looked a bit serious.
Daddy and his princess getting along?
161
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,108
Would you move back home?
162
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,357
I might need a favour.
163
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,351
All right.
164
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,677
♪ Ooh, aah, ooh, aah
165
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,957
♪ Ooh, aah, Cantona!
166
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,792
♪ Ooh, aah, the Cantona... ♪
167
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:36,670
Yeah, man.
Yeah, me mate can get you tickets.
168
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:40,116
That's who he named the band after.
As well as the ginger pubes on his head.
169
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,475
He still visits his family round here.
170
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,471
These were his local shops.
171
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,710
- Where's he live now?
- How should I know?
172
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,711
I've heard he's got a place in Milan.
173
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:49,710
Wit woo.
174
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,473
Simply Red wasn't exactly
Madchester though.
175
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,993
Who says?
176
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,195
Well, everybody.
177
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,918
Go, go, go!
178
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,672
Neither was Morrissey, as it happens.
179
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,990
He definitely was.
180
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,116
Look! Look! Take some photos!
181
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,031
Mick Hucknall in the area!
182
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,317
Two out of two. Did you see him?
183
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,790
That was ace.
Tell all your mates. Kerching!
184
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,313
No way. Wow!
185
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:19,516
With offices around the country
invariably pointing to sellers like this
186
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,034
being involved
in something more sinister.
187
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,554
The higher up the chain of supply
we're able to venture...
188
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,592
There's a strong case against him.
189
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,352
Liverpool.
190
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,079
City of Vultures.
The whole town's counterfeit.
191
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,754
They all wear fake clothes?
192
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,310
No, it's a simile. But probably.
193
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,311
Chipmunk-Cilla's features.
194
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,958
Tarby's "humour"?
195
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,508
"Community spirit
in the face of adversity."
196
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,477
How many of them actually work?
197
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:54,839
Dark Side Of The Moon while smoking
weed. Playing Xboxes all day long.
198
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,037
Nothing is as it seems
down the East Lancs.
199
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:03,319
Fake football shirts, Helen,
are the tip of his particular iceberg.
200
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,437
The slave trade.
The Three Graces.
201
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,193
Icing on the crown
of the Scouse nation.
202
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,350
- My dad's from Liverpool.
- No offence.
203
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,318
It's OK.
204
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,868
I never really
thought of it like that.
205
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:22,989
Yes!
206
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,230
Oh! Yes!
207
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,276
Yes! Yes!
208
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:30,595
Bingo!
209
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:38,911
You're on lates?
210
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,673
Still got plenty to do. Coffee?
211
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,351
Sorry about any confusion yesterday.
212
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,395
Frank?
213
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,674
Frank, come on.
214
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,158
Frank, you've got a lift to court.
215
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,155
(SHOUTS) Frank!
216
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,356
Let him have it! Let him have it!
217
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,715
What is your problem?!
218
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,994
Stalker!
219
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,036
Been reading Catcher In The Rye?
220
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,271
It's a misunderstanding.
I just came to give him a lift.
221
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,638
Is that a copper's job? Or has he
been fast-tracked to judge?
222
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,553
And to apologise for yesterday.
Being rough.
223
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:48,792
Get past it, Tom. We're O-V-E-R.
224
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,996
You're freaking me out now.
225
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,558
CAR STEREO BLARES
226
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,631
No, thanks.
227
00:12:58,720 --> 00:12:59,755
It's all right.
228
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,400
It's not really my thing.
229
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,278
But it makes the tour more real
if you know what I mean.
230
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,238
Without these beauties,
there wouldn't be a Madchester.
231
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,231
I said, I'm not interested.
232
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,638
GIGGLING
233
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,319
How's that funny?!
234
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,236
Can't you take a joke?
235
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:47,957
Do you think that's funny, Bill? Men
taking advantage of pubescent girls?
236
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,439
All the same.
237
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,278
I was just trying to lighten the mood.
Make you smile.
238
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,559
But you shouldn't have gone
round there this morning.
239
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,756
It won't do either of you any good.
240
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,229
I mean, Frank can't expect a... Urgh!
241
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,275
What's that?
242
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,032
You cheeky little...
243
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,759
- Touché.
- You don't know what you've started.
244
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,193
What I started?
245
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,839
What you up to?
246
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,273
It's a free country.
247
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,916
- Who are these?
- Mates.
248
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:34,637
You two OK?
249
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,359
- They're sound.
- I asked them.
250
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:39,115
Girls?
251
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,919
We're fine, thanks.
252
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,233
Can't switch off.
Needs a truncheon up her... Aaagh!
253
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,436
Not the day for it, Maguire.
254
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,239
Agh, fuck!
255
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:57,996
(Frank) The classic syndrome, Helen.
Rob their pensions, medical cover.
256
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,629
And who ends up with the yacht,
Ferrari and Spanish villa?
257
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,551
Scousers?
258
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,394
Scou... Well, yeah, sometimes
it's Scousers, the rich ones,
259
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:12,474
but whoever it is, I guarantee
they won't come from places like we did.
260
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,710
I've never met anyone
who talks like you.
261
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,669
I can't believe I'm here,
in the beating heart,
262
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:22,912
with such wonderful people
and actually getting money for it.
263
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,878
Well, my pearls falling on
appreciative ears
264
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,678
has helped numb the tedium.
265
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,716
That's nice.
266
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,590
Home beckon... What do you mean
"getting money for it"?
267
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,114
You must have been asleep. Expenses.
268
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,679
Match your wages. Fantastic.
269
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,029
Why are we still here?
270
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,190
Ready now.
271
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,554
Look! Frank Sidebottom!
272
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,676
- Who?
- Frank Sidebottom.
273
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,591
What does that mean?
274
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,557
Him, there. Off the telly.
275
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,755
- What?
- Refund.
276
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:09,795
Why?
277
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,394
Look, we didn't say anything
to that policewoman
278
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,675
but, aside from trying to
force drugs on us,
279
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,876
this is a total crock of shit!
280
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,149
Where you going?
281
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,197
Lt'll be me they come looking for.
282
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,872
Shouldn't be so stupid.
283
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,789
Hurry up!
284
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,039
Let me guess.
285
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,954
Hey, Yvonne,
how much do you pay your workers?
286
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,076
You've got no chance.
It's not Remploy.
287
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,869
I shall ignore such slander in
the interests of my business proposition.
288
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,109
Lend us that.
289
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,471
- Jury expenses.
- How much?
290
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:54,394
Just leave that to me.
Started the job yesterday. 80/20 split.
291
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,510
There's no way out.
292
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:08,716
Make it easy on yourself
and I'll make it easier on you.
293
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,112
Back-up's on the way.
294
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,273
Ripping innocent people off again?
295
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,955
You lot never learn.
296
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,116
I've called the dogs,
297
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,637
so if you don't want an Alsatian's
teeth around your member...
298
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,632
SCREAMS
299
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:52,033
I'm blind! I'm blind! My eyes!
300
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,714
- What was that for?
- Right, get up, Saul.
301
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,836
I'll support ya.
302
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,751
Come on.
303
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,148
SCREAMS
304
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,437
What's happened?
305
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:05,669
What's it look like?
306
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,398
I can't see!
307
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,755
Stop whining and pull me out!
308
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,476
You're stuck.
309
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,276
(Judge) I shall now ask the jury to retire
and consider their verdict.
310
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,713
Does anybody have any specific
desire to take the role of foreman?
311
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:47,875
All yours.
312
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,197
Well, can I suggest we start
with a quick show of hands?
313
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,191
I presume we're all feeling
the same.
314
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,636
Probably be out of here in no time.
315
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,837
So, all those who think
the defendant's guilty?
316
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,031
And all those who think
the defendant's not guilty?
317
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,756
Looks like we'll be back
in the morning.
318
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,876
GROANING
319
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,797
I can't find the keys.
320
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,393
Now stop rubbing.
321
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,119
- Just let me go and get some help.
- You won't come back.
322
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,839
Well, I'll just phone me dad
to bring the bolt cutters then.
323
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,239
Woo woo.
324
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,629
Leave you here, anyway.
325
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,235
I bet there's spiders.
326
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,469
So?
327
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:52,114
I'm making a complaint about you
and unnecessary force. Again!
328
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,918
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
329
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,992
Aaagh!
330
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,399
- Where's my baseball bat?
- In your wardrobe.
331
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,390
BABY CRIES
332
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,311
Mummy! >
333
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,156
< That's Stella waking Katie.
334
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,389
BABY CONTINUES CRYING
335
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:24,799
Mummy! >
336
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,469
SCREAMS
337
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,033
Mummy! >
338
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:45,559
BABY CRIES IN NEXT-DOOR HOUSE
339
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,156
That's it!
340
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:08,713
Mimi!
341
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,279
What's the mad bitch up to now?
342
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,715
- Show some respect.
- It's stuck.
343
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:13,755
What's going on?
344
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,193
I don't know.
345
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,114
If I just make room and clear it,
she'll come.
346
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,155
Mum!
347
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,196
Whoa, whoa, whoa, not Butch!
348
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,515
It's for you, babe. Please come home.
349
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,670
I can't bear what they're doing
to Katie.
350
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:28,556
What who's doing? >
351
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,279
Damien over there,
and who knows who else.
352
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,430
- Watch what you're saying!
- What's it got to do with you?
353
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,192
- Leave it.
- We love Katie.
354
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,111
So why's she so unhappy?
355
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,475
Stella cries, Katie cries sometimes.
It's a small house.
356
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,232
That's the point.
357
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,153
We would love you to come home.
358
00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:48,350
This'll do.
359
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:56,993
Maybe the pub.
360
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,356
Usual, Karen. One for yourself.
361
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,908
And your dearest.
362
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,592
Someone's in a good mood.
363
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:12,958
Well, it's nice to share the wealth
when fortune smiles on the brave.
364
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,191
And a tipple for
my delectable other half as well.
365
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:19,795
So, did the Scouser get a guilty?
366
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,394
Well, I may have been a tad hasty.
367
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,516
Oh, quelle surprise!
368
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,717
They're much maligned, you know,
Liverpudlians.
369
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,509
Cousins, really. Many a worthy
contributor for the general good.
370
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,273
- You reckon?
- Oh, definitely.
371
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,635
Such as?
372
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:37,835
Erm...
373
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,915
Grobbelaar?
374
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,833
Hatton! There was
a heavyweight in his field.
375
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,831
He's a welterweight from Stockport.
376
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,831
No, Derek.
377
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,831
So?
378
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,797
Who was the dizzy-looking bitch?
379
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,313
Who?
380
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,078
What?
381
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,118
Oh, um, thingy.
382
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,589
Foreman of the jury
on her way to hers.
383
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:01,874
Bit mental.
384
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,552
What are you doing?
385
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,916
Smoking the evidence.
386
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,353
Stop it!
387
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,035
It's better than being gassed.
Have some.
388
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,554
- It's illegal.
- So?
389
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,074
- I'm a policewoman.
- Everybody does it.
390
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,878
But I don't.
391
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,393
Never tried?
392
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,789
Never.
393
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,552
Don't know what you're missing.
394
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,833
Stop!
395
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,070
Might chill you out.
396
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,190
Dunno what all the fuss is about.
397
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,790
So why do you keep laughing then?
398
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,314
THEY GIGGLE
399
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,196
How come I've never seen you
with a girlfriend? >
400
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,396
I've never seen you with a boyfriend.
401
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,391
So?
402
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,476
I don't want one at the moment.
403
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,949
I'm concentrating on my writing.
404
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:07,234
Can't you write?
405
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:11,074
Course! I mean stories and that.
406
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,912
Yeah?
407
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,230
What kind of stories?
408
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,556
Erotica.
409
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,471
SHE SPLUTTERS
410
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:27,838
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
411
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,835
Personally, I think it's overrated.
412
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,433
Erotica?
413
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,273
- Sex.
- You reckon?
414
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:41,352
- I prefer a good arrest.
- Typical Dibble.
415
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,670
Hardly typical!
416
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,637
One day I'll be far from here.
417
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,518
Chief Super, somewhere fitting.
418
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,079
Yeah. I will too.
419
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:51,912
What?
420
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,274
Be far from here.
421
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,078
Yeah, right. Stretford?
422
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,479
No!
423
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,597
Go on then. Where do you want to be?
424
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,398
Don't know.
425
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,993
Maybe California.
426
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,071
Writing novels
in a cabin by the ocean?
427
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,711
Not a cabin. One of them
steel and glass minimum houses.
428
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,552
Hollywood starlets round the pool.
429
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:20,519
Defo. Dancing all day,
plenty of weed,
430
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,192
rubbing sun cream on each other.
431
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,430
Sounds like one of your stories.
432
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,671
Yeah, tanned and toned.
Proper hard bodies.
433
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,194
Easy. You'll get me going.
434
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,396
Well, it'll be wasted on you anyway.
435
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,798
Don't know. Sounded good.
436
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,871
You can't be totally frigid then.
437
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,916
Watch it!
438
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,513
- You must be a bit.
- Why?
439
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,670
Well, "Sex is overrated".
You said it.
440
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,912
Well, it is. Better channelling
the energy into work.
441
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,353
Or the gym.
442
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,873
What about...
443
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:58,879
...orgasms?
444
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:01,314
What about 'em?
445
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,994
- Ever had one?
- Course.
446
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,193
- I reckon.
- You'd know if you had.
447
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,876
I bet I can give you one.
448
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,871
- Watch it.
- No!
449
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,951
I mean with this.
450
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,234
This is my new one.
451
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,912
Don't be mental.
452
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,070
- Don't you believe me?
- Course not.
453
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,195
Do you wanna bet?
454
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,591
Won't it be embarrassing?
455
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,113
No.
456
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,111
Just...
457
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,111
Just chill and get in the mood.
458
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,517
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER
459
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,833
Got to take
such responsibilities seriously.
460
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,115
You know, massive stakes.
461
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,714
Someone's liberty here.
462
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:06,476
Cost to the taxpayer of miscarriages
of justice? It's astronomical.
463
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,437
CAR HORN OUTSIDE
464
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,996
It's probably just thingy,
your foreman.
465
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,677
The prosecution's adamant
466
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,115
< that almost every time
they follow the chain
467
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,113
of counterfeit goods, such as those
football shirts, back to its source,
468
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:34,150
< it's in some way implicated into
a much larger criminal framework,
469
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:39,189
invariably linked to drugs, guns,
people-smuggling or terrorism.
470
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:45,355
If that boss-eyed Mickey Mouser
is Al-Qaeda, then I'm Al...
471
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,874
Al... Alcohol-free...
472
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,189
His name's Graeme McEwan.
473
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:57,196
Well, isn't it enough
that our Graeme's admitted possession
474
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,192
and selling snide gear?
475
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,113
Eh? He'll get a hefty fine
for that anyway.
476
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:04,519
Rightly so!
477
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:08,513
But, as he swears, isn't it possible
478
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,070
that he was ripped off and didn't know
the football shirts were fake?
479
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,913
Would he risk openly selling them
on Longsight Market
480
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,991
if he honestly thought
they were snide?
481
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,756
I'd give Mr McEwan ten years
just for selling United kits,
482
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,159
but hey, that's personal.
483
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:27,628
Ah!
484
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,438
Fantastic! >
485
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,117
"Her truncheon probed his balls,
486
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,760
"as he flicked his tongue
through the black lace
487
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,673
"of her best La Senza knickers.
488
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,910
"'Spread 'em,'
her deep voice whispered
489
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,831
"as she removed the handcuffs
490
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,798
"to allow him access
to her youthful beast..."
491
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,233
Spelling again.
492
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,551
"...Youthful breasts and moist loins.
493
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,996
"She grabbed the cell bars,
trousers round her ankles,
494
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:56,399
"La Senzas to the side,
495
00:29:56,480 --> 00:30:00,393
"hat perched cheekily
on her short brunette hair.
496
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,516
"The prisoner stood.
497
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,672
"Ten years of press-ups had given him
the body of an Adonis,
498
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,275
"a decade of yearning and the fullest
pair of bollocks she'd ever seen."
499
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,757
That's really well put, Micky.
500
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:15,558
"He slapped her pert buttocks
501
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,995
"with enough force to hint
a threat of pain."
502
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,035
Oh!
503
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:23,079
"He gazed at the window, dreaming
of his release, and cried out in glory...
504
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,310
- "'Agh! '..."
- Agh!
505
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,757
"...and plunged his throbbing
member deep and hard
506
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,229
"into the grateful copper."
507
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,629
SHE MOANS
508
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:52,309
Oh... my... fucking... word!
509
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,595
- Language!
- Give me that.
510
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,997
No! Nooooo! Hey!
511
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,594
A double? Yes!
512
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,910
- No!
- See what I've started?
513
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,036
Someone's nicking my boots!
514
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:29,358
How long you been down here?
I'm nicking ya.
515
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,035
Oi! Oi!
516
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:35,635
Buzzin'!
517
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,431
< One... two...
518
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,751
...three... four... five...
519
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,796
She loves it here.
520
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,953
I know she does, and I do too,
and it's a treat for us all.
521
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,110
But it'd be different
if it's permanent.
522
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,156
- Why would it?
- Why do you think that?
523
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:56,878
It's about my confidence, too.
524
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,190
Moving home would feel like
moving backwards.
525
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,748
You can't stay
in that shithole for ever.
526
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,599
That's why I'm moving in with Jamie.
527
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:07,795
You can't!
528
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,440
Won't that just be treading water?
529
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:11,839
I can help out, earn extra cash.
530
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,229
At least it'll feel
I'm achieving something.
531
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:15,435
We can help with money.
532
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:19,479
I know you can, Dad,
but it's also about my independence.
533
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,152
KNOCK ON THE DOOR
534
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:26,837
A pub's a terrible environment
to be bringing up a little girl.
535
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:31,232
What sort of example is that
spoon-faced slag gonna be setting?
536
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,558
- Here you are, lad, 30 quid.
- Nice one.
537
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,758
99... 100. Coming, ready or not!
538
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,873
It's the grey market.
No-one can tell
539
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,396
what's fake any more, cos it all
comes from the same suppliers.
540
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,789
You sound like
a conspiracy theorist.
541
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,678
Pardonnez-moi, who wouldn't be?
542
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,799
Classic smokescreens.
Diverting suspicion. Er, thingy's name.
543
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,552
Saint Bob.
544
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:05,110
New album every Live Aid. Pro Bono.
545
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,668
Always opposing those in charge?
546
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:12,231
I bet you'd do better.
Probably legalise drugs, prostitution.
547
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:17,030
It isn't just Baghead Billy
recording 50 DVDs at once.
548
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,632
Baghead Billy comes in the Jockey
549
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,872
with a rucksack of pirate DVDs
every Saturday.
550
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:29,476
Often, the big boys are in on it,
so they can wholesale cheaper...
551
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,676
I don't think legitimate companies
552
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,320
would deal with
grey-market manufacturers.
553
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:35,992
It's the same people!
554
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,799
China, India, Philippines, Mexico.
555
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,589
The lot, churned out of sweatshops.
556
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,911
Little baby immigrants knitting
their fingers to their widgies
557
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:50,391
for ten pence a day
to make your handbags.
558
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,678
Globalisation condemning
billions to...
559
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,069
disability and potlessness.
560
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:01,950
You're diverting attention. I'm still
to be convinced that Graeme McEwan
561
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,439
isn't part of a wider team.
562
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,431
I'm still to be convinced he is!
563
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:06,509
OK.
564
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,033
OK.
565
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:14,673
Let's forget the free-trade conundrum
and concentrate on poor Graeme.
566
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:19,595
Right? He's admitted possessing
and selling counterfeit goods,
567
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,511
and he'll be punished.
568
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:27,512
Regarding the bigger accusation,
let's suppose that...
569
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,795
Graeme...
570
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,189
does know
where the shirts came from.
571
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:36,239
Even if he knew, does that mean
he's closely involved
572
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,276
in the workings of
a bigger criminal network?
573
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,112
The police say so.
574
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,599
Picture the scene.
575
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:47,071
The boss-eyed Scouser sells
a fake shirt down the market
576
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,628
to another little immigrant.
577
00:34:49,720 --> 00:34:55,431
What if the punter
also knows, deep down,
578
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:56,999
that it's a fake?
579
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:03,518
Isn't that some degree
of culpability?
580
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:08,993
Edith?
581
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:11,155
I suppose.
582
00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:16,360
Wouldn't that imply, by extension,
that the punter who buys
583
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:20,274
the shirts off Boss-Eye is also
part of a bigger criminal network?
584
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,317
What if the punter was
a young woman
585
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:30,871
who bought a pair of "Gucci" sunglasses,
and she only pays 20 quid for them,
586
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,236
so there's no way she could have
mistaken them for the real deal?
587
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:39,713
Does it then follow that
any of these regular punters,
588
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:43,236
or any of us who've ever bought
"designer" clothes,
589
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:48,758
you know, at a car boot, are we also
members of a terrorist cell?
590
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,549
Or a Colombian cartel?
Sex-trafficking triads?
591
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:56,394
The halting of which
is a massive reason
592
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,471
to legalise prostitution, by the way.
593
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:04,635
Not forgetting the brand probably copied
more than any other on the planet,
594
00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:07,075
the fake Louis Vuitton handbags.
595
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,034
Oh!
596
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:15,910
This is real,
you stinking, smart-arsed tramp!
597
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,277
Hey.
598
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,828
One condition.
599
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:41,435
Not quite.
600
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:46,673
That's two.
601
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,593
Let's vote again, then.
602
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,955
All those who think
Boss-Eye's innocent...
603
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:09,233
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.
604
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,992
Majority.
605
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,197
The Scouser's free! We're free!
606
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,829
Whoa, whoa, hang on a minute.
It's coming back to me now.
607
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:22,630
Something the prosecution mentioned.
608
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:24,073
It's a niggling doubt.
609
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,477
Oh, how stupid!
610
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,437
Forgot all about it.
611
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:32,511
I'm going to have to sleep on it.
612
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:38,637
Better not count mine just yet.
Abstained.
613
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,589
What's got into you tonight?
614
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,872
- Read it to me.
- Why?
615
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,679
Just read it to me. You'll see.
616
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:13,273
Hang on. Specs.
617
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,315
Since when?
618
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,594
Only sometimes.
619
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:20,999
Don't you like 'em?
620
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,957
(TV) I wanna be a cowboyl Mum, Mum!
621
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:38,031
Let him join in, Shane,
stop being a horror. Come on.
622
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,594
Brew?
623
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,432
Yeah.
624
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,875
I've been thinking.
625
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:57,636
Mum, I know you're unhappy, but don't
drag us down too. I've made my mind up.
626
00:38:57,720 --> 00:38:59,153
It's OK.
627
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:01,872
What is?
628
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,916
Open it.
629
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:12,551
Me mam handed it down. Bits and bobs
from when I was growing up.
630
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:17,270
And I carried it on, with stuff
from when you were a baby.
631
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,752
I think it's time
you started collecting for Katie.
632
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,674
Right, here we go. Do you want
a seat? What do you want?
633
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,079
Malibu and Coke.
634
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:37,798
OK.
635
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,236
Karen, pint,
Malibu and Coke and an E.
636
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,874
Back room.
637
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:56,512
Stick it on the slate.
638
00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:04,959
These make me want
to sing and dance.
639
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:07,678
Are you married, Frank?
640
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,198
Yeah.
641
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,716
Kind of. She might pop by later. You?
642
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,518
Engaged.
643
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:20,434
Hank Jake Johnson III.
Never get to see him, though.
644
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:24,433
Because of his long hours,
or your courtroom fetish?
645
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:25,999
He's in Alabama.
646
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:29,072
- Oh, would be. Online romance?
- Just letters.
647
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:33,436
Billets doux. Traditional. I'm all
fingers and thumbs with computers.
648
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:37,035
Oh, I can use one. So can Hank Jake.
649
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,350
He's just not allowed to,
on Death Row.
650
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:43,748
Isn't he handsome?
651
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,274
What did he do?
652
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,032
Butchered, barbecued and ate
653
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,918
24 homeless homosexual junkies
in San Francisco
654
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,718
over an eight-year period.
655
00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:01,399
But I know he's sorry now.
656
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,592
You want another drink?
657
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,990
I'm going for a candlelit vigil
with the local church next month.
658
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,590
Should get another postponement.
659
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,118
DOOR SHUTS
660
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,590
Did you give her the box?
661
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,599
No tears?
662
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,679
No painful adjustments of my
reproductive organs being considered?
663
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,912
No, she's right, Pat.
And you're right.
664
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,197
They need to fly.
665
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:53,271
And I've had enough.
666
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:54,793
Kids, that is.
667
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,035
Ah!
668
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,112
Look at you!
669
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:09,760
Oh!
670
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,031
Guess it must be
the sense of danger.
671
00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:19,870
I just love the thrill of that threat.
Certain men exude it.
672
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,793
You exude it, Frank.
673
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:26,873
You're intelligent, but I know
you're unpredictable too.
674
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:28,678
Thank you.
675
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:29,875
It excites me.
676
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,838
It turns me on, not knowing
what you're gonna do next.
677
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:38,469
Surprise me. Show me
something dangerous.
678
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,793
- Like what?
- Anything, Frank.
679
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,035
Now?
680
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,680
Right here, right now. Whatever you want.
681
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,077
Be dangerous, Frank.
682
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:58,957
Agh!
683
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:06,076
Forgive me, Hank Jake,
I know not what I do.
684
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:09,118
Harder, Frank, harder!
685
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,315
Bang to rights!
686
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,991
MUSIC: Wild Thing by The Troggs
687
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,552
SHE SQUEALS
688
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,069
Yeah, baby!
689
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,479
CHEERING
690
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:44,676
WHISTLING
691
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,358
♪ Wild thing, I think you move me
692
00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:05,076
♪ But I wanna know for sure
693
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:08,630
♪ Come on, hold me tight
694
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,392
♪ You move me. ♪
695
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:19,635
(Frank) So, Bob the Bullshit
had a point, didn't he?
696
00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:22,951
Whether we're aware of it or not,
the fact is,
697
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,759
unless we're asleep,
we're probably talking shit.
698
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,155
Stay.
699
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,233
Frank, where's your girlfriend?
700
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,231
In a coma.
701
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,752
I intend to present
702
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,274
a case for the defence.
703
00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:51,914
Go on, then.
704
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,629
What chance does he have in a society
705
00:44:55,720 --> 00:45:00,350
that worships material wealth
to such a degree?
706
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:06,272
It's not what's inside
that counts any more.
707
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:10,956
How shiny you appear
on the outside...
708
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,870
...is all that matters
to the youth of today.
709
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,712
Let's have a vote.
710
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,233
Great.
711
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,117
Guilty?
712
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:22,997
(All) Guilty, yes.
713
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:27,437
So when somebody wants to shake
on it, have this as your motto.
714
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,795
Me hand's me heart,
me head's me arse.
715
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,233
Guilty.
716
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:31,992
I'll take 1,000.
717
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:43,869
Go.
718
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,311
Hey, what's goin' on?
What's up with this guy?
719
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:49,474
Crazy bastard!
720
00:46:49,524 --> 00:46:54,074
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