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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:08,076 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 2 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,630 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,076 they were given by him upstairs 4 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,153 and kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:22,198 What sounds on earth could ever replace 6 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,431 kids needing money or wives in your face? 7 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,909 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 8 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,993 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented 9 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:37,837 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 10 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,469 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 11 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:45,712 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 12 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,873 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 13 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:57,399 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 14 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,835 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 15 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:03,754 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 16 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,799 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 17 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,074 FRANK LAUGHS 18 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,469 Scatter. 19 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,198 Party! 20 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,711 (Micky) You know what they say - a change is as good as a rest. 21 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,677 Well, who's "they"? 22 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,799 Never really been into all that philosophy bollocks, if I'm honest. 23 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,758 Mam says it's cos I'm the type what calls a spade a spade, 24 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,719 but what the fuck else are you gonna call it? 25 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,997 Sometimes you just wake up and want to do something different. 26 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,832 And you've got to go with it, 27 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,480 cos if you ignore it, you get fucking nowhere. 28 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,993 I've got something to tell ya. 29 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,512 - Sounds ominous. - I don't want you to judge me 30 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,555 or disown me. 31 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,790 Somebody's been watching too much Jeremy Kyle! 32 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,269 I'm serious! 33 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,432 I just need to get it out in the open. 34 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,398 Saves any sneaking about or bullshit. 35 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,077 - College?! - Study? You? 36 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,118 - I knew this would happen. - And what about the business? 37 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,394 It's only part-time. 38 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,232 Studying what, exactly? 39 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,197 Film. 40 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,794 - And who's going to pay for that? - I will. 41 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,313 A qualification, like? 42 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,753 Obviously. 43 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,310 To think we fought all our lives to bring you up right, son, 44 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:40,633 for you to just go throw it all back in our faces by turning to education! 45 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,517 (Jamie) Karen! 46 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,075 Karen! 47 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,628 Where's me shin pads? 48 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,199 Karen? 49 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,113 - I'm busy. - Well, have you seen them? 50 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,317 - Have you looked? - Yeah, I can't find them anywhere. 51 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,312 - Since when did I become your mam? - Oh, forget it! 52 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,393 You've not even looked properly. Here's me working me tits off to sort this party 53 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,109 - and all you can think about is footy. - You're paying people to help you. 54 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,872 JAMIE SCOFFS lt'll be fine. 55 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,430 It won't be fine! You can't just keep burying your head in the sand. 56 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,112 What do you want me to do? 57 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,668 Make more effort. That'd be a start. 58 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,236 (Frank) Debbie, Debbie! 59 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,757 Please! 60 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,910 Please, come on! Just a fiver! 61 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,549 - Hey, last time, promise. - It's always, "Last time, promise." 62 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,949 Come on, I'm doing me bit for the credit crunch. 63 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,315 You still owe me a tenner from Tuesday. 64 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,393 Hey, how does it go? "The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity 65 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,516 "other than a friend is a creditor." 66 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:50,354 - Don't talk shit. - Yeah, but you're me daughter. 67 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,749 You're far closer than any friend of mine. 68 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,230 You haven't got any friends, Dad. 69 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,189 Is that clown harassing you? 70 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,475 Nothing I can't handle. 71 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,308 MICKY SPITS 72 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,630 (Micky) It was me mate what made me come. 73 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,153 He's gone away. 74 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,754 It's made me realise you've got to grab stuff while you can. 75 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,432 You know, go for it. 76 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,559 And when you watch a film, well, that takes you away, doesn't it? 77 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,279 So I thought, "I'll try this." 78 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,035 You know, learn something new. Which is ace, innit? 79 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,515 Thanks, Micky. 80 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,354 Good to know it's not just cos you think Will Smith's dead fit, eh, Clare? 81 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,400 - What do you think? - Stunning(!) 82 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,033 I missed footy practice for this! 83 00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,633 Hey, Karen! 84 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,269 How about a stripper for the party? We could charge 'em more. 85 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,954 Not bad... for you. 86 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,672 Nice move. 87 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,675 Aaah! 88 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,150 - You all right, lad? - What have you done? 89 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,117 - Ah, me arm! - (Jamie) Shit. 90 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,997 Jesus! 91 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,911 CARL PANTS 92 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,117 - That's a bairn! - Get rid of it. 93 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,792 (Both) What?! 94 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:26,949 It's not mine! 95 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,873 - We should call the police. - No way! 96 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,633 They'll shut us down. Get rid of it. You get that seen to. 97 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,553 And you... take over! 98 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,470 DOOR OPENS 99 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,832 - Homework? - It's part of me assignment. 100 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,753 An assignment? Very clever. 101 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,910 I just want something for myself! 102 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,195 Why do you always have to take the piss? 103 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,748 - I'm not, son. - No, you've got Dad! 104 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,956 Jamie's got The Jockey. Shane's got Kelly. 105 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,871 Mandy's got Katie. What have I got? 106 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,918 A few pairs of shit-flickers and a pink car. 107 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,436 Tell you the truth, I've thought about studying for years. 108 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:18,035 I'd love to do something like this. 109 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,190 What have you got to do, then? 110 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,710 Well, they do it in Hollywood. 111 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,314 You've got to put the whole film into one sentence 112 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,833 and see if it sounds like a goer. 113 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,509 What, like, "Mad-fuck mummy's boy gets giddy with a knife"? 114 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,315 HE LAUGHS 115 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,597 Carl Gallagher? 116 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,430 They pay you fuck all for this. Why do you do it? 117 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,954 Always wanted to help people. 118 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,712 It's my vocation. 119 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,712 - Your what? - Like a calling. 120 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,473 Some jobs you just have to do. 121 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,315 It's a very attractive personality trait, Carl, having a vocation. 122 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,072 I'm just like that. 123 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,832 Help anyone, me. 124 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,512 Really? 125 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:14,037 Runs in the family. My brother's abroad at the moment. Works for Save The Children. 126 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,156 DANCE MUSIC 127 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,636 We're always looking for volunteers here, you know. 128 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:32,155 (Micky) "My mouth slipped off her hardened nipple 129 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:36,392 "and I kissed and licked my way down her tight body. 130 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:41,156 "Her skin tasted like sweet vanilla and I wanted to devour her. 131 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,878 "As I went to my knees, 132 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:47,795 "my fingers slipped inside as she whimpered with pure pleasure. " 133 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:52,510 - How are you getting on? - I can't do it! 134 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,709 "Classic animation is not just for children, 135 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,917 "and is an equally legitimate dramatic tool as film. Discuss." 136 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,797 See? 137 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,474 I'll tell you what this needs - 138 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,792 a sharp, analytical mind. I'll do it for you, son. 139 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,550 He just needs a bit of encouragement every now and then. 140 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,358 He can be a bit stubborn. 141 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,117 Go on, mate. Your move. 142 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,077 Stubborn? My Walter? 143 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,277 You wouldn't know the meaning of the word, would you, love? 144 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:36,074 18 or 80, you're all the same. 145 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,879 - Carl's move. - Sorry. 146 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,839 What are you apologising to me for? Fast as a leopard, this old-timer. 147 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,117 I keep telling him, if I were ten years older and he were ten younger, 148 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,112 we'd probably be together. We just clicked, didn't we, babes? 149 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,998 - Bollocks. - Serious. 150 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,032 Fucking wadded. 151 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,319 I could just tell you a lie or I could just be honest. 152 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,233 - Are you with me? - Not really, Miss. 153 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,198 You shouldn't have got my story in with your assignment. 154 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,794 That was yours? 155 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,075 Yeah. I wrote it. 156 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,991 I do it on the side, just... 157 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,393 ...short stories with a twist, really. - Not bad. 158 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,750 It's just a hobby, and they pay me. 159 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,440 Aw, nice one. You know, getting paid for a hobby. 160 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,556 It's not quite as simple as that. 161 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,596 They're just words. It can't be that hard. 162 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,150 Have a go yourself, then, if you're so sure. 163 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,632 MICKY CHUCKLES SOFTLY 164 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,790 What, now? 165 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,518 I'm waiting. 166 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,792 All right. 167 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,914 How about, 168 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,390 "His thrusts pumped harder as his seed boiled in his balls, 169 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,756 "ready to spill out into her velvet chasm"? 170 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,832 Bloody hell, that's great, Micky. 171 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,639 Hey, do you reckon they'd pay me an' all? 172 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,231 Maybe we should go back to mine, 173 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,629 - grab a coffee? - Yeah. 174 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,314 Not much difference between his world and ours. 175 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,710 MIMI SNIFFLES His mother was a single parent, 176 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,597 his father was permanently AWOL... 177 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,513 Poor little bastard had fuck all stability. 178 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,955 - Makes you think, doesn't it? - Yes, love. 179 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,873 We've done all right by our kids, haven't we? 180 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,313 Of course we have, love. 181 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,312 Even if I did get shot, I mean, at least you'd still be here. 182 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,836 Not like that fucker, out gallivanting, flashing his horns. 183 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:51,472 You know, he had exactly the same shit on his plate as us, did that Bambi. 184 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,232 I'm just, er... 185 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,550 popping out for a pint, love. 186 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,437 OK. 187 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,352 DOOR OPENS 188 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,871 - Hiya. - Hiya, love. 189 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,032 Good day at school, Ches? 190 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,634 Depends what you class as good. 191 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,071 I said the wrong thing again. 192 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,869 Come on, was it really that long ago since you were his age? 193 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:32,915 No. 194 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,117 You could make more of an effort, at least try and bond. 195 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,668 Like I haven't been doing?! 196 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:43,276 I'm sick of this. All I want is a bit of harmony. 197 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,555 You're both male. 198 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,108 You must have something in common. 199 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,711 Jamie! 200 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,518 DANCE MUSIC We've hardly got anything to say any more. 201 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,354 - Wait till they start with the baby oil. - He's getting right on me nerves. 202 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,672 I never quite got that - rubbing up a complete stranger. 203 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,955 Some of these women haven't had a shag in ten years. 204 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,155 So? 205 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,516 So they pay me a fiver for a ticket to see a bit of cock. 206 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,194 There's no crime in wanting to break the routine. 207 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,350 Seven-year itch? Already? 208 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,318 It just all seems a bit... flat. 209 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,472 Karen? I've found an article. 210 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,710 The previous landlord was shacked up here 211 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,597 with some bird that topped herself. 212 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:50,753 Erm... Gloria someone. Guess why? 213 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,512 Why, Norma? 214 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,991 She never got over the death of her baby. 215 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,595 Everyone has bad patches. It will pass, you know? 216 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:04,036 I keep hoping it will, and things will just perk right back up. 217 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,032 You two are solid. You'll just ride it. 218 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,229 Who says I want to, though? 219 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,237 She'll calm down. 220 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,993 It's best if I just keep out of her way for a bit, Dad. 221 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,513 You know what women are like. 222 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,352 - I do, son. - What are you doing here? 223 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,351 Giving the missus a wide berth. 224 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,238 - (Paddy) He's having a breather. - Trouble? 225 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,595 Yeah, sort of. 226 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,752 - Morning, Hitchcock(!) - She finally kicked you out, then? 227 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,719 - You're not getting a divorce, are ya? - Am I fuck! No, it's nothing. 228 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,554 It's just... Well, you know how it is when everything you do is wrong. 229 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,676 Where's your spine? You sound like a right poof. 230 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:47,719 He's right... for once. Pussyfooting won't get you anywhere. 231 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,553 Take the upper hand. Act like a man for a change. 232 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,518 Show them who's boss. They love that. You're a Maguire. 233 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,990 Balls of steel. Like your father. Coco Pops, sweetheart? 234 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,760 Lose the sock, Pablo. 235 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,593 (Mandy) It's not Pablo, really, is it? 236 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,272 No. Alan. 237 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,476 And you're not from Rio de Janeiro? 238 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,232 Wigan, actually. 239 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,114 Sorry. 240 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,111 See ya. 241 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,193 THEY SNIGGER 242 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,793 No-one wants to see that. 243 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,917 - It was your idea in the first place. - I meant a bird. 244 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,115 Typical. 245 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,998 The women round here are gonna love that, aren't they, girls? 246 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,752 We're supposed to be bringing people in, 247 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,434 - not driving them away! - Like I don't know that 248 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,239 - after all the work I've done! - You're not the only one grafting. 249 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,154 - You have painted a wall, Jamie! - Nothing's enough, is it? 250 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:45,795 CARL RETCHES 251 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,671 SHE LAUGHS 252 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,718 Thanks. Shit's not one of my strong points. 253 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,199 SHE LAUGHS 254 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,791 - You're supposed to be on the ward. - The poor lad just needs easing in. 255 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,713 I think he can look after himself, can't you, Carl? 256 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,949 - Yeah. - Shift it. 257 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,476 - All those wasted years at charm school! - Listen, lady, 258 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,519 if those beds aren't done by one, it's me who gets it in the neck 259 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,194 and I won't be taking the rap for some two-bit auxiliary. 260 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,953 - Don't talk to her like that! - Excuse me? 261 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,270 - Leave it, Carl. - No! What right has she got? 262 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:21,638 I must admit, Carl, I thought you were a man of more seasoned taste. 263 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,712 You know what? Fuck off! You can stick your shit job. 264 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,711 You'd have to be mental to do this for nowt. 265 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,954 Carl! Thanks for sticking up for me. 266 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,156 I should have just got on with the job. 267 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,673 I was well in there. 268 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,435 Have you talked to her? JAMIE LAUGHS SOFTLY 269 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,795 So she can tell me again how shit I am? 270 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,278 I can't do right for doing wrong, Dad. It's relentless. 271 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,318 I just want to scream at him all the time. 272 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,470 You're good mates, you two, underneath. 273 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,278 That's got to count for summat. 274 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,194 Nah. Wrong time of the month, that's all it'll be. 275 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,589 You do love him, don't you? 276 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,796 Not as much as I can hate him. 277 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,235 I feel like I could kill him, 278 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,279 like actually pick up a knife and slash his throat. 279 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,554 That bad? 280 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,437 (Paddy) Have you checked the tides? 281 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,910 - You're talking shit, Dad. - On my life, son. 282 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,309 Leave the bog seat up in our house of a full moon 283 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,470 and your mother turns into a screaming banshee. 284 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,437 But it's romantic, what you did. 285 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,318 The novelty soon wears off. 286 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,755 He couldn't give a shit any more... 287 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,718 about me... or this place. 288 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,518 I don't get it. 289 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,035 It's marriage, son, you're not supposed to. 290 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,990 I think I'm losing him, Kelly. 291 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,396 What do you think? 292 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,233 Where did you get this? 293 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,754 Perks of the job, that's all. 294 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,273 It's for you. 295 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,271 Wouldn't be my first choice. 296 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,192 STAN SIGHS 297 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,510 STAN MUMBLES TO HIMSELF 298 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,789 Years I made Shane wear that patch to sort out his squint. 299 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,838 That's all she was doing for Dumbo. 300 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,832 How's it her fault he's got big fuck-off ears? 301 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,273 Mole, sweetheart. 302 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:44,353 And when she sticks up for him, he gets even more shit 303 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,670 cos they've branded his mam a nutter! 304 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,913 How do you ever get over that sort of thing? 305 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,468 Lmagine it! 306 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,710 - All rise, it's Spielberg(!) - All right? 307 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,594 PAPER RUSTLES B. 308 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,672 B?! I got a B! 309 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,558 Did you hear that, Paddy? 310 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,277 KNOCKING 311 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,831 Fuck me, you look nice. 312 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,832 Good job I do, cos you're taking me out. 313 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,480 - Hiya. - Hi. 314 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,951 It's the least you can do, since I saved you from the clutches of that silly boot. 315 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,632 This is Maxine. 316 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,518 - (Monica) Oh, hiya. - (Maxine) Is she yours? 317 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,989 - Yeah. - Won't be a sec. 318 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,230 Can I have this one, Mon? 319 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,515 You look amazing for a bird that's just sprogged. 320 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,670 Oh, thanks! 321 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,355 - Norma, what are you doing? - Nowt. 322 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,036 Get your coat, you've pulled. 323 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:10,795 My Auntie Julie's into all this. She sells door-to-door. 324 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,713 You should see the boot of the car - boxes full of creams. 325 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:14,949 What creams? 326 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,952 Anti-wrinkle, anti-blackhead, anti-cellulite... 327 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,792 Auntie Julie's got a cream for it. 328 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,156 - Anti-cellulite? - Amazing. Honest. 329 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,072 See? So where you off? 330 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,958 Just to The Jockey. Got a bit of a do on. 331 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,109 Dressed like that? 332 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,033 - They've done it up. About bloody time. - Love a good do, me. 333 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,793 We'll all go, shall we? What's that smell? 334 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,711 (Debbie) It's not me, it's Carl! 335 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,358 (Carl) What smell? 336 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,913 DANCE MUSIC 337 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,071 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 338 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,479 All right? 339 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,596 - Hiya, mate. - Hiya. 340 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,035 - This is Joe, the new footy captain. - Hi! 341 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,833 - Hi. Mandy. - All right? 342 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,072 CHEERING 343 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:09,116 If I wanted meat and two veg with me pint, I'd drink at the Berni Inn. 344 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,714 - He's got a point. - He's just doing his job. 345 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,951 What's wrong with a lap dancer? That's entertainment. 346 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:19,033 MEN CHEER (Men) Off! Off! Off! Off... 347 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,635 - Time's up! - (Men) Off, off... 348 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,711 Bloody hell! Is it always this lively? 349 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,598 You call this lively? THEY SHOUT 350 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,072 We're losing customers, Karen. 351 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,559 Sling it, you muppet. 352 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,915 Fuck it. Fuck it. Turn it off. 353 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,309 MUSIC STOPS (Man) Get off! 354 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,516 - See? - So it's gone a bit wrong. 355 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,592 - It's a total disaster, Karen. - We're busy, aren't we? 356 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,989 You should've listened. 357 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,116 One piddly suggestion, Jamie! 358 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,634 It's took a lot more than that to pull this lot off. 359 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,472 It's not my fault nobody wants to see it. 360 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,790 Well, some of them do. 361 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,030 (Women) # How d'you like it? # 362 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,792 Them lot are gagging for it. 363 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,075 I just wanted everyone to have a good night. 364 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,515 Well, I'm having a good night. 365 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,919 Look, most of them are that desperate, they'd pay to watch anything strip. 366 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,037 I'm sorry about that, everyone. 367 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,192 If you can just be patient with me, I'll have some more entertainment 368 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,032 sorted in a minute. 369 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,917 MUSIC STARTS 370 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,759 (Carl) That's more like it! 371 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:34,030 THEY CHEER AND SHOUT 372 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,197 SPEECH DROWNED BY MUSIC 373 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,317 (Men) Off, off, off... CHEERING 374 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,552 Moral support. 375 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,232 She's smart, that one. 376 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,717 CHEERING AND WHISTLING 377 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,830 - Go on, girl! - Can't let the side down... 378 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,751 Whoa, neddy. 379 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,229 Dad, I'm not ten! I'm not your little girl any more! 380 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,518 Surplus to requirements, Lillian. 381 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,114 Yeah! 382 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,715 What good am I for her these days? 383 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,552 She'll come round. 384 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,108 I was the same at her age - like an uncontrollable tiger. 385 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,311 I'm no different now, if I'm honest. 386 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,954 ROOM FALLS SILENT Hello, boys! 387 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,631 CROWS CAW 388 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,236 MAXINE LAUGHS, CARL MOUTHS 389 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,077 - Debbie? - Oh, sorry, I've got a date. 390 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,754 - Who?! - So have you. 391 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,558 Subtle(!) 392 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,593 My kind of bird. 393 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,193 Back to mine? 394 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,838 What for? 395 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,436 - Coffee? - "Coffee"?! 396 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,836 MAXINE MOANS 397 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,959 MAXINE PANTS (Carl) Ow! 398 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,237 - Sorry. Are you all right? - Shh! Keep going. 399 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,712 (Maxine) Oh, oh! 400 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,231 She's built like a brick shithouse 401 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,278 and she's grabbing hold of them like this, and she's got big hands, 402 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:41,636 like fella's hands, all big and veiny, and she's shouting at me. 403 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,473 - I'd have told her to sling it. - (Debbie) Did you get 'em back? 404 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,956 Hiya, babes! Toast? 405 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:56,148 NEWS ON RADIO 406 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,753 JAMIE YAWNS 407 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:04,959 Jamie! 408 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,599 Stop following me. 409 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,955 We're bound to bump into each other. 410 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,112 Sitting in your car watching me isn't us bumping into each other. 411 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,034 - But this is! - Just stay away. 412 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:22,749 You should be with me enjoying yourself, not bringing her up. 413 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,876 I'm not bringing her up. 414 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,837 You're old before your time, Debs. 415 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,071 At least when you were with me we had fun, didn't we? 416 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,720 Don't kid yourself, granddad! 417 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,871 THEY SHOUT 418 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,231 (Sgt Rogers) Hey, break it up... now! 419 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,594 Now! 420 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,994 What are you with fighting girls for, huh? 421 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,958 - He was helping me. They jumped me. - She jumped us! 422 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,190 They've got my mp3 player. 423 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,317 - She nearly scratched me eyes out. - What's going on, Meena? 424 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,551 That's right, take their side. You're all the same. 425 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,438 It's not about sides. You're committing a public order offence, 426 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,988 not to mention assault. Now clear off, you two. 427 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,516 - See? That's it. Let the white girls go. - That's enough. 428 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,990 - Schoolies, too. Just your type. - Why are you so angry, eh? 429 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,516 I've seen what it's like for you. You don't go short, you spoilt little bastard. 430 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:21,469 It's got nothing to do with colour! We just expect this bollocks from you. 431 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,791 Come on. We'll sort it out down the station, yeah? 432 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,878 "She was desperate to get hold of it once more. 433 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,474 "It wasn't the longest she'd seen, but the fact that she couldn't get 434 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,198 "her hand round it told a story." 435 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,872 SHE LAUGHS 436 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,276 "They couldn't wait a minute longer. 437 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:45,875 "She reached for his belt as he tore off her shirt." 438 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,996 - I bet she isn't wearing a bra, is she? - No. 439 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,433 Dirty bitch. 440 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:54,548 "She looked up at his chest, all glistening with sweat, 441 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,359 "his hard abs and full pecs 442 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,874 "rolling up and down with his deep, manly breathing." 443 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,633 You're making us wait, aren't you? 444 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,119 - Yeah. - Criminal. 445 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,028 "As she ground him down, faster and harder, 446 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:13,795 "he bit on her erect nipple as the blood rushed excitedly into his dick..." 447 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,393 - Cock! - Cock! 448 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,471 - Does he fuck her then? - Yeah. 449 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,949 - How? - Up the arse? 450 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,110 I meant "from behind". 451 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,192 I absolutely love it doggy. 452 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,955 I think I'd prefer it if these two were face to face. 453 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,837 DOOR OPENS 454 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,038 Hi, darl'. 455 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,433 Grow up! It's just me tits. I kept them drinking, didn't I? 456 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,750 - It's not just that. - What is it? 457 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,592 Everything. 458 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,191 All this. 459 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,635 It's a constant battle. 460 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,473 - It doesn't last long, does it? - What? 461 00:26:56,560 --> 00:27:00,075 - The honeymoon. - (Norma) Karen... 462 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,115 What, Norma? 463 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,317 I Googled that Harris bloke. He did 15 years for murder! 464 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,674 So? 465 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,159 He probably did away with both of them. 466 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,358 If I can find out where he is, he might be able to tell us about Gloria's baby. 467 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,431 - Gloria's fucking baby? - Calm down. 468 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,556 I just want closure, Karen. 469 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,234 Have you heard yourself?! Who the fuck is Gloria? 470 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,912 I told you to dump the fucking baby, 471 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,309 so why haven't you dumped the fucking baby? 472 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,597 I just... want closure. 473 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,557 KAREN SLAMS SOMETHING ON BAR 474 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:32,714 Look, er... you two should have a night out. 475 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,234 Out of this place? Doubt it. 476 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,869 Well, I can cover for you. One night wouldn't hurt. 477 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,111 JAMIE SNIFFS Told you. 478 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:47,832 Look... I could stay over, if you like. You could have a late one. 479 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,514 - Would ya? - Course. 480 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,871 We should do something. 481 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,875 You can put one of them in the loos, if you want. 482 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,033 You all right, Karen? Pay day. 483 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:07,078 Hey, top night. 484 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,997 - Eyes up, pal. - Jamie! 485 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,358 DOOR OPENS 486 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,432 Oh, here he comes, PC Patronising. 487 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,073 Listen, kids... 488 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,118 It's his fault we're here in the first place. 489 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,394 That's not fair. 490 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,313 Where did you get the mp3 player? Lost property box? 491 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:42,279 - You're all snides. - Give it a rest for a minute, Chesney! 492 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,430 - I've had a word with the sarge. - So? 493 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,432 - I'm taking you home. - So you can grass to Mum? 494 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,398 - Why would I do that? - Cos you're a copper. 495 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,710 And make things even tougher for myself? 496 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,032 This is brilliant. 497 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,509 Cheers, mate. 498 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,716 Good enough to submit, isn't it? 499 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,314 - Definitely. - Where to? 500 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:14,109 Online. There's a few different sites, depending on what you're good at. 501 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,599 What like? 502 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:20,229 Couples. Swingers. Animals. 503 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:21,673 Gay. 504 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,715 Want to stick around for a beer? 505 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:30,113 I am genuinely sorry you think I've been ignoring you. 506 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,078 But don't think of me badly, please. 507 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:39,597 We need each other, cos things are gonna be better from now on... 508 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,989 for both of us. 509 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,470 I mean, we can join forces, kid. 510 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,199 You know, you and me versus the world. 511 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,951 Hey, our special pact! 512 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,439 - (Carl) Debbie? - Yeah? 513 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,159 - What do you think you're playing at? - What? 514 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,549 - Arranging to go out with my bird. - It's just a drink. 515 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,392 I were gonna take her out tonight. 516 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:06,359 - Oh, you're not jealous, are you? - Am I fuck. 517 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,829 DEBBIE LAUGHS 518 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,992 Promise me you'll always be there for me. 519 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,473 FRANK BURPS 520 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,472 One thing it has done, Paddy, is make me look at life 521 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,118 from an animal's perspective. 522 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,395 Fuck Badger Watch! That's just boring. 523 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,074 WATER SPLASHES (Mimi) It's weird how it sucks you in. 524 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,152 They make you really feel for the character, don't they? 525 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:40,677 Just a splash of colour and a squeaky voice and that's it, you're there. 526 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,150 I could go on forever about this, Patrick. For infinity. 527 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,518 You see, now I know how it must have felt for Buzz Lightyear! 528 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,830 - Mimi, would you do me a favour... - Yeah. 529 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,353 ...and shut the fuck up? 530 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,237 He likes us. 531 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,673 - He's bright. - He's cute. 532 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,398 TOILET FLUSHES 533 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,277 Your very own prodigy. 534 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,749 Imagine... 535 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,717 Reckon he's game? 536 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,199 Know he is. 537 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,878 Micky, mate. 538 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,309 Ever heard of a fuck buddy? 539 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,954 MUSIC FROM TV Is anyone home? 540 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,830 (Stan) Yeah, got it, got it! 541 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,677 What's going on in there, then? 542 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,432 It's just a stew. 543 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,112 STAN LAUGHS 544 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,953 - (Meena) Come on, Chesney. - Good day at school, Ches? 545 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,474 Yeah, great. 546 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:51,675 Brilliant. 547 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,593 BELL RINGS IN GAME Oh! 548 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,558 - Didn't think you had it in you. - Piece of piss. 549 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,472 MUSIC: 9PM (Till I Come) by ATB 550 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,274 Right. One, two, three, go! 551 00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,273 Prowling grease monkeys at 3 o'clock. 552 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,035 Eugh! He's old enough to be my dad. 553 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,472 He just took his wedding ring off! 554 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,516 Oh, the slimeball. 555 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,273 - No harm in getting a drink out of it. - Aw! 556 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,392 KELLY LAUGHS 557 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,112 SHE MOUTHS 558 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,311 KAREN SNORTS 559 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,277 Read him the riot act, didn't I? 560 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:01,194 He'll forgive a flash of tit if it means that we're back on track. 561 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,271 And are you? 562 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,272 - What? - Back on track. 563 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,237 Sort of. 564 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,076 Do you always do that? 565 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,993 - What? - Pout. 566 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,038 No. THEY LAUGH 567 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,076 Do you know what? 568 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,799 What? 569 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,435 I think... you're dead fit. 570 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:38,953 Fuck off! 571 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,918 WOMEN ARGUE 572 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:53,594 - She's been following me round. - That's not good. 573 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:57,593 Nightmare. She's round every corner. 574 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,670 I think I was clingy with my first big split. 575 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,672 Something a bit pathetic about all that, though... 576 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,637 Don't you think? 577 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,949 I thought you were really good today. 578 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:33,790 MAXINE MOUTHS 579 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,349 Leg it! 580 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,194 Drive! Quick! Go, go, go! 581 00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,316 She's got me fucking wallet! 582 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:04,716 - Slags! - Oh, fuck it! 583 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,632 DEBBIE AND MAXINE LAUGH 584 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,553 Freak! 585 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,709 All right! It should've been a woman. 586 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,155 Ha! Can someone tape this? 587 00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,993 - Here you are. Say it again. - It doesn't matter now. 588 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,516 - It's history. - Yeah. It were a top night in the end. 589 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,319 - Does that mean I get an apology? - This I will have to film! 590 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,791 I am the first to apologise when I've done something wrong. 591 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,110 JAMIE LAUGHS Did you get that? 592 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,670 - Leave it, Shane. - "Leave it, Jamie," don't you mean? 593 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,158 Mandy? 594 00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:00,832 Listen, I'm gonna take her home. 595 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,911 (All) Ooooh! 596 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,194 No! Just take her home. 597 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,953 THEY LAUGH 598 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,433 I'm off to bed. 599 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,238 What, so early? 600 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:20,393 - I'm knackered. You coming? - In a bit. 601 00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:32,154 KELLY CACKLES 602 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,437 - Tequila? - Yeah! 603 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,956 KELLY LAUGHS DRUNKENLY 604 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,792 Shh! 605 00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:47,359 Shh! In here! 606 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,595 CLATTERING (Norma) What the?! 607 00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,035 Norma? 608 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:04,109 Poor little mite will be in limbo forever if I don't do something. 609 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:05,633 What? 610 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:08,518 Dead. All alone. 611 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,956 My God! Stop being so fucking morbid! What's the matter? 612 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:14,834 A little baby. 613 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,638 Someone's baby. 614 00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:19,518 - It's not a baby. It's a fucking cat! - No! 615 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:24,196 Straight up, Norma. Look, the ribcage is flat on both sides. 616 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,431 The limbs are the wrong proportion. It's a fuckin' moggy is that. 617 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,954 KELLY LAUGHS He's amazing, isn't he? 618 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,315 - (Kelly) Shane! - Shh! 619 00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,709 THEY SNIGGER 620 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,398 - Sorry, I can't. - Yeah, you can. 621 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,029 - I'm married. - Yeah. To a moron. 622 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:10,510 - What? - Sorry, but... 623 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,477 Get the fuck out of me pub! 624 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,358 - What? - Now! 625 00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:20,470 SHE LAUGHS SOFTLY 626 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,956 I don't think I'll be coming to class any more. 627 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,873 - Oh, no. Why not? - It's not really my thing. 628 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,957 I think you found your "thing" tonight, though, don't you? 629 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,758 Well, we're all good at something. 630 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,469 It just takes some of us a little longer to suss out what it is. 631 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,357 Exactly. 632 00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,671 You could give my place to someone what really needs it. 633 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,069 Yeah, I could, really. 634 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:56,708 - Beer? - Yeah, go on, then. 635 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:02,152 One for the road. You twisted me arm. 636 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,758 Sorry for being a cow. 637 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,873 I'm sorry, too. 638 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:18,792 Nothing happened. 639 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,790 - Good job. - I'm a gent, you know. 640 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,633 Be a right shame if we had and I couldn't even remember. 641 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,232 Brew? 642 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,558 - What? - Good night? 643 00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:11,471 Yeah. 644 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,197 What are you playing at, Carl? 645 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,992 Did you cop? 646 00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:26,314 Listen, Carl, we're mates, aren't we? 647 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,550 "Mates"? With a bird? What about? 648 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,110 So we shagged? You were great. 649 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,998 But you're not me fella, so don't go all moody-bollocks 650 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,356 just cos I got off me tits and had a laugh without you, because you can't. 651 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,673 We might as well be mates, though, if we like each other, don't you think? 652 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:45,954 Suppose so. 653 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,271 There might be the odd night... 654 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:54,751 if you're lonely... and I'm lonely. 655 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,671 You made me squeal. 656 00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:59,792 I'd be a fool not to. 657 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:03,759 When you put it like that... 658 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,671 Right. 659 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,592 Any chance of a shag, then? 660 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,959 KAREN SQUEALS, LAUGHS 661 00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:40,153 (Micky) Maybe, after all, I am into all that bullshit. 662 00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:44,358 Just another way of looking at things. Things happen for a reason. 663 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,398 The best things come to those who wait. 664 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,836 Sounds so fake, though...doesn't it? 665 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,115 "'Check out the girth on that... ' SLAPPING 666 00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:57,398 "...she said as he put the big black stallion back in its stable. 667 00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:01,075 "She tossed back her glorious mane of hair and opened the top two buttons. 668 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,958 "'I'm hot, baby,' she said, 669 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,749 "as he caught a glimpse of the top of her huge tits..." 670 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:12,834 (Micky) I'll tell you what my philosophy is. You're born. Then you die. 671 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,718 In between, you might as well do whatever it takes 672 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,711 to get as much of a buzz as you can. 673 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,755 Dead simple. 674 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,637 ...So if you look at all three... 675 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,112 Whoo! 676 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,475 MIMI SNORTS 677 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,630 Fuck! 678 00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,311 That's fucking brilliant. HE EXHALES LOUDLY 679 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,277 Get on, Micky. Your turn. 680 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,874 HE SNORTS LIKE A HORSE 681 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,717 SLAPPING Yeah! 682 00:45:28,767 --> 00:45:33,317 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 50972

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