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1
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:08,076
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,630
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,076
they were given by him upstairs
4
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,153
and kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:22,198
What sounds on earth
could ever replace
6
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,431
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
7
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,909
Cos this, people reckon,
and me included,
8
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,993
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented
9
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:37,837
to calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
10
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,469
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:45,712
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,873
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:57,399
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,835
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:03,754
Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,799
Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now!
17
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,074
FRANK LAUGHS
18
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,469
Scatter.
19
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,198
Party!
20
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,711
(Micky) You know what they say -
a change is as good as a rest.
21
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,677
Well, who's "they"?
22
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,799
Never really been into all that
philosophy bollocks, if I'm honest.
23
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,758
Mam says it's cos I'm the type
what calls a spade a spade,
24
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,719
but what the fuck else
are you gonna call it?
25
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,997
Sometimes you just wake up
and want to do something different.
26
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,832
And you've got to go with it,
27
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,480
cos if you ignore it,
you get fucking nowhere.
28
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,993
I've got something to tell ya.
29
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,512
- Sounds ominous.
- I don't want you to judge me
30
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,555
or disown me.
31
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,790
Somebody's been watching
too much Jeremy Kyle!
32
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,269
I'm serious!
33
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,432
I just need to get it out in the open.
34
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,398
Saves any sneaking about or bullshit.
35
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,077
- College?!
- Study? You?
36
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,118
- I knew this would happen.
- And what about the business?
37
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,394
It's only part-time.
38
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,232
Studying what, exactly?
39
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,197
Film.
40
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,794
- And who's going to pay for that?
- I will.
41
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,313
A qualification, like?
42
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,753
Obviously.
43
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,310
To think we fought all our lives
to bring you up right, son,
44
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:40,633
for you to just go throw it all back
in our faces by turning to education!
45
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,517
(Jamie) Karen!
46
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,075
Karen!
47
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,628
Where's me shin pads?
48
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,199
Karen?
49
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,113
- I'm busy.
- Well, have you seen them?
50
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,317
- Have you looked?
- Yeah, I can't find them anywhere.
51
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,312
- Since when did I become your mam?
- Oh, forget it!
52
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,393
You've not even looked properly. Here's me
working me tits off to sort this party
53
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,109
- and all you can think about is footy.
- You're paying people to help you.
54
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,872
JAMIE SCOFFS
lt'll be fine.
55
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,430
It won't be fine! You can't just keep
burying your head in the sand.
56
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,112
What do you want me to do?
57
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,668
Make more effort.
That'd be a start.
58
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,236
(Frank) Debbie, Debbie!
59
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,757
Please!
60
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,910
Please, come on! Just a fiver!
61
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,549
- Hey, last time, promise.
- It's always, "Last time, promise."
62
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,949
Come on, I'm doing me bit
for the credit crunch.
63
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,315
You still owe me
a tenner from Tuesday.
64
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,393
Hey, how does it go? "The only man
who sticks closer to you in adversity
65
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,516
"other than a friend is a creditor."
66
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:50,354
- Don't talk shit.
- Yeah, but you're me daughter.
67
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,749
You're far closer
than any friend of mine.
68
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,230
You haven't got any friends, Dad.
69
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,189
Is that clown harassing you?
70
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,475
Nothing I can't handle.
71
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,308
MICKY SPITS
72
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,630
(Micky) It was me mate
what made me come.
73
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,153
He's gone away.
74
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,754
It's made me realise
you've got to grab stuff while you can.
75
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,432
You know, go for it.
76
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,559
And when you watch a film,
well, that takes you away, doesn't it?
77
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,279
So I thought, "I'll try this."
78
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,035
You know, learn something new.
Which is ace, innit?
79
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,515
Thanks, Micky.
80
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,354
Good to know it's not just cos you think
Will Smith's dead fit, eh, Clare?
81
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,400
- What do you think?
- Stunning(!)
82
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,033
I missed footy practice for this!
83
00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,633
Hey, Karen!
84
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,269
How about a stripper for the party?
We could charge 'em more.
85
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,954
Not bad... for you.
86
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,672
Nice move.
87
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,675
Aaah!
88
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,150
- You all right, lad?
- What have you done?
89
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,117
- Ah, me arm!
- (Jamie) Shit.
90
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,997
Jesus!
91
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,911
CARL PANTS
92
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,117
- That's a bairn!
- Get rid of it.
93
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,792
(Both) What?!
94
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:26,949
It's not mine!
95
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,873
- We should call the police.
- No way!
96
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,633
They'll shut us down.
Get rid of it. You get that seen to.
97
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,553
And you... take over!
98
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,470
DOOR OPENS
99
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,832
- Homework?
- It's part of me assignment.
100
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,753
An assignment? Very clever.
101
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,910
I just want something for myself!
102
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,195
Why do you always
have to take the piss?
103
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,748
- I'm not, son.
- No, you've got Dad!
104
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,956
Jamie's got The Jockey.
Shane's got Kelly.
105
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,871
Mandy's got Katie. What have I got?
106
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,918
A few pairs of shit-flickers
and a pink car.
107
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,436
Tell you the truth,
I've thought about studying for years.
108
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:18,035
I'd love to do something like this.
109
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,190
What have you got to do, then?
110
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,710
Well, they do it in Hollywood.
111
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,314
You've got to put the whole film
into one sentence
112
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,833
and see if it sounds like a goer.
113
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,509
What, like, "Mad-fuck mummy's boy
gets giddy with a knife"?
114
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,315
HE LAUGHS
115
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,597
Carl Gallagher?
116
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,430
They pay you fuck all for this.
Why do you do it?
117
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,954
Always wanted to help people.
118
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,712
It's my vocation.
119
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,712
- Your what?
- Like a calling.
120
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,473
Some jobs you just have to do.
121
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,315
It's a very attractive personality trait,
Carl, having a vocation.
122
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,072
I'm just like that.
123
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,832
Help anyone, me.
124
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,512
Really?
125
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:14,037
Runs in the family. My brother's abroad at
the moment. Works for Save The Children.
126
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,156
DANCE MUSIC
127
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,636
We're always looking for
volunteers here, you know.
128
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:32,155
(Micky) "My mouth slipped off
her hardened nipple
129
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:36,392
"and I kissed and licked
my way down her tight body.
130
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:41,156
"Her skin tasted like sweet vanilla
and I wanted to devour her.
131
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,878
"As I went to my knees,
132
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:47,795
"my fingers slipped inside
as she whimpered with pure pleasure. "
133
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:52,510
- How are you getting on?
- I can't do it!
134
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,709
"Classic animation
is not just for children,
135
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,917
"and is an equally legitimate
dramatic tool as film. Discuss."
136
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,797
See?
137
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,474
I'll tell you what this needs -
138
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,792
a sharp, analytical mind.
I'll do it for you, son.
139
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,550
He just needs a bit of encouragement
every now and then.
140
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,358
He can be a bit stubborn.
141
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,117
Go on, mate. Your move.
142
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,077
Stubborn? My Walter?
143
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,277
You wouldn't know the meaning
of the word, would you, love?
144
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:36,074
18 or 80, you're all the same.
145
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,879
- Carl's move.
- Sorry.
146
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,839
What are you apologising to me for?
Fast as a leopard, this old-timer.
147
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,117
I keep telling him, if I were
ten years older and he were ten younger,
148
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,112
we'd probably be together.
We just clicked, didn't we, babes?
149
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,998
- Bollocks.
- Serious.
150
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,032
Fucking wadded.
151
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,319
I could just tell you a lie
or I could just be honest.
152
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,233
- Are you with me?
- Not really, Miss.
153
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,198
You shouldn't have got my story
in with your assignment.
154
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,794
That was yours?
155
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,075
Yeah. I wrote it.
156
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,991
I do it on the side, just...
157
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,393
...short stories with a twist, really.
- Not bad.
158
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,750
It's just a hobby, and they pay me.
159
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,440
Aw, nice one. You know,
getting paid for a hobby.
160
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,556
It's not quite as simple as that.
161
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,596
They're just words.
It can't be that hard.
162
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,150
Have a go yourself, then,
if you're so sure.
163
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,632
MICKY CHUCKLES SOFTLY
164
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,790
What, now?
165
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,518
I'm waiting.
166
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,792
All right.
167
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,914
How about,
168
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,390
"His thrusts pumped harder
as his seed boiled in his balls,
169
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,756
"ready to spill out
into her velvet chasm"?
170
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,832
Bloody hell, that's great, Micky.
171
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,639
Hey, do you reckon
they'd pay me an' all?
172
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,231
Maybe we should go back to mine,
173
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,629
- grab a coffee?
- Yeah.
174
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,314
Not much difference
between his world and ours.
175
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,710
MIMI SNIFFLES
His mother was a single parent,
176
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,597
his father was permanently AWOL...
177
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,513
Poor little bastard
had fuck all stability.
178
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,955
- Makes you think, doesn't it?
- Yes, love.
179
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,873
We've done all right by our kids,
haven't we?
180
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,313
Of course we have, love.
181
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,312
Even if I did get shot,
I mean, at least you'd still be here.
182
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,836
Not like that fucker,
out gallivanting, flashing his horns.
183
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:51,472
You know, he had exactly the same
shit on his plate as us, did that Bambi.
184
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,232
I'm just, er...
185
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,550
popping out for a pint, love.
186
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,437
OK.
187
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,352
DOOR OPENS
188
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,871
- Hiya.
- Hiya, love.
189
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,032
Good day at school, Ches?
190
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,634
Depends what you class as good.
191
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,071
I said the wrong thing again.
192
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,869
Come on, was it really that long ago
since you were his age?
193
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:32,915
No.
194
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,117
You could make more of an effort,
at least try and bond.
195
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,668
Like I haven't been doing?!
196
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:43,276
I'm sick of this.
All I want is a bit of harmony.
197
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,555
You're both male.
198
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,108
You must have something in common.
199
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,711
Jamie!
200
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,518
DANCE MUSIC
We've hardly got anything to say any more.
201
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,354
- Wait till they start with the baby oil.
- He's getting right on me nerves.
202
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,672
I never quite got that -
rubbing up a complete stranger.
203
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,955
Some of these women
haven't had a shag in ten years.
204
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,155
So?
205
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,516
So they pay me a fiver
for a ticket to see a bit of cock.
206
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,194
There's no crime
in wanting to break the routine.
207
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,350
Seven-year itch? Already?
208
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,318
It just all seems a bit... flat.
209
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,472
Karen? I've found an article.
210
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,710
The previous landlord
was shacked up here
211
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,597
with some bird that topped herself.
212
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:50,753
Erm... Gloria someone. Guess why?
213
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,512
Why, Norma?
214
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,991
She never got over
the death of her baby.
215
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,595
Everyone has bad patches.
It will pass, you know?
216
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:04,036
I keep hoping it will, and things
will just perk right back up.
217
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,032
You two are solid. You'll just ride it.
218
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,229
Who says I want to, though?
219
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,237
She'll calm down.
220
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,993
It's best if I just keep
out of her way for a bit, Dad.
221
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,513
You know what women are like.
222
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,352
- I do, son.
- What are you doing here?
223
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,351
Giving the missus a wide berth.
224
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,238
- (Paddy) He's having a breather.
- Trouble?
225
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,595
Yeah, sort of.
226
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,752
- Morning, Hitchcock(!)
- She finally kicked you out, then?
227
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,719
- You're not getting a divorce, are ya?
- Am I fuck! No, it's nothing.
228
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,554
It's just... Well, you know how it is
when everything you do is wrong.
229
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,676
Where's your spine?
You sound like a right poof.
230
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:47,719
He's right... for once.
Pussyfooting won't get you anywhere.
231
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,553
Take the upper hand.
Act like a man for a change.
232
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,518
Show them who's boss.
They love that. You're a Maguire.
233
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,990
Balls of steel. Like your father.
Coco Pops, sweetheart?
234
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,760
Lose the sock, Pablo.
235
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,593
(Mandy) It's not Pablo, really, is it?
236
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,272
No. Alan.
237
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,476
And you're not from Rio de Janeiro?
238
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,232
Wigan, actually.
239
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,114
Sorry.
240
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,111
See ya.
241
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,193
THEY SNIGGER
242
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,793
No-one wants to see that.
243
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,917
- It was your idea in the first place.
- I meant a bird.
244
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,115
Typical.
245
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,998
The women round here
are gonna love that, aren't they, girls?
246
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,752
We're supposed to be bringing people in,
247
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,434
- not driving them away!
- Like I don't know that
248
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,239
- after all the work I've done!
- You're not the only one grafting.
249
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,154
- You have painted a wall, Jamie!
- Nothing's enough, is it?
250
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:45,795
CARL RETCHES
251
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,671
SHE LAUGHS
252
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,718
Thanks.
Shit's not one of my strong points.
253
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,199
SHE LAUGHS
254
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,791
- You're supposed to be on the ward.
- The poor lad just needs easing in.
255
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,713
I think he can look after himself,
can't you, Carl?
256
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,949
- Yeah.
- Shift it.
257
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,476
- All those wasted years at charm school!
- Listen, lady,
258
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,519
if those beds aren't done by one,
it's me who gets it in the neck
259
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,194
and I won't be taking the rap
for some two-bit auxiliary.
260
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,953
- Don't talk to her like that!
- Excuse me?
261
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,270
- Leave it, Carl.
- No! What right has she got?
262
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:21,638
I must admit, Carl, I thought you
were a man of more seasoned taste.
263
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,712
You know what? Fuck off!
You can stick your shit job.
264
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,711
You'd have to be mental
to do this for nowt.
265
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,954
Carl! Thanks for sticking up for me.
266
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,156
I should have just got on with the job.
267
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,673
I was well in there.
268
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,435
Have you talked to her?
JAMIE LAUGHS SOFTLY
269
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,795
So she can tell me again how shit I am?
270
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,278
I can't do right for doing wrong,
Dad. It's relentless.
271
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,318
I just want to scream at him all the time.
272
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,470
You're good mates, you two, underneath.
273
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,278
That's got to count for summat.
274
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,194
Nah. Wrong time of the month,
that's all it'll be.
275
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,589
You do love him, don't you?
276
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,796
Not as much as I can hate him.
277
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,235
I feel like I could kill him,
278
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,279
like actually pick up a knife
and slash his throat.
279
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,554
That bad?
280
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,437
(Paddy) Have you checked the tides?
281
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,910
- You're talking shit, Dad.
- On my life, son.
282
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,309
Leave the bog seat up
in our house of a full moon
283
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,470
and your mother turns into
a screaming banshee.
284
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,437
But it's romantic, what you did.
285
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,318
The novelty soon wears off.
286
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,755
He couldn't give a shit any more...
287
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,718
about me... or this place.
288
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,518
I don't get it.
289
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,035
It's marriage, son,
you're not supposed to.
290
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,990
I think I'm losing him, Kelly.
291
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,396
What do you think?
292
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,233
Where did you get this?
293
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,754
Perks of the job, that's all.
294
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,273
It's for you.
295
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,271
Wouldn't be my first choice.
296
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,192
STAN SIGHS
297
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,510
STAN MUMBLES TO HIMSELF
298
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,789
Years I made Shane wear
that patch to sort out his squint.
299
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,838
That's all she was doing for Dumbo.
300
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,832
How's it her fault
he's got big fuck-off ears?
301
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,273
Mole, sweetheart.
302
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:44,353
And when she sticks up for him,
he gets even more shit
303
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,670
cos they've branded his mam a nutter!
304
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,913
How do you ever get over
that sort of thing?
305
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,468
Lmagine it!
306
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,710
- All rise, it's Spielberg(!)
- All right?
307
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,594
PAPER RUSTLES
B.
308
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,672
B?! I got a B!
309
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,558
Did you hear that, Paddy?
310
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,277
KNOCKING
311
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,831
Fuck me, you look nice.
312
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,832
Good job I do,
cos you're taking me out.
313
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,480
- Hiya.
- Hi.
314
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,951
It's the least you can do, since I saved
you from the clutches of that silly boot.
315
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,632
This is Maxine.
316
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,518
- (Monica) Oh, hiya.
- (Maxine) Is she yours?
317
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,989
- Yeah.
- Won't be a sec.
318
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,230
Can I have this one, Mon?
319
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,515
You look amazing
for a bird that's just sprogged.
320
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,670
Oh, thanks!
321
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,355
- Norma, what are you doing?
- Nowt.
322
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,036
Get your coat, you've pulled.
323
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:10,795
My Auntie Julie's into all this.
She sells door-to-door.
324
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,713
You should see the boot of the car -
boxes full of creams.
325
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:14,949
What creams?
326
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,952
Anti-wrinkle,
anti-blackhead, anti-cellulite...
327
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,792
Auntie Julie's got a cream for it.
328
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,156
- Anti-cellulite?
- Amazing. Honest.
329
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,072
See? So where you off?
330
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,958
Just to The Jockey.
Got a bit of a do on.
331
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,109
Dressed like that?
332
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,033
- They've done it up. About bloody time.
- Love a good do, me.
333
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,793
We'll all go, shall we?
What's that smell?
334
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,711
(Debbie) It's not me, it's Carl!
335
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,358
(Carl) What smell?
336
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,913
DANCE MUSIC
337
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,071
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
338
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,479
All right?
339
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,596
- Hiya, mate.
- Hiya.
340
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,035
- This is Joe, the new footy captain.
- Hi!
341
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,833
- Hi. Mandy.
- All right?
342
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,072
CHEERING
343
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:09,116
If I wanted meat and two veg
with me pint, I'd drink at the Berni Inn.
344
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,714
- He's got a point.
- He's just doing his job.
345
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,951
What's wrong with a lap dancer?
That's entertainment.
346
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:19,033
MEN CHEER
(Men) Off! Off! Off! Off...
347
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,635
- Time's up!
- (Men) Off, off...
348
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,711
Bloody hell! Is it always this lively?
349
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,598
You call this lively?
THEY SHOUT
350
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,072
We're losing customers, Karen.
351
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,559
Sling it, you muppet.
352
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,915
Fuck it. Fuck it. Turn it off.
353
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,309
MUSIC STOPS
(Man) Get off!
354
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,516
- See?
- So it's gone a bit wrong.
355
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,592
- It's a total disaster, Karen.
- We're busy, aren't we?
356
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,989
You should've listened.
357
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,116
One piddly suggestion, Jamie!
358
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,634
It's took a lot more than that
to pull this lot off.
359
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,472
It's not my fault nobody wants to see it.
360
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,790
Well, some of them do.
361
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,030
(Women) # How d'you like it? #
362
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,792
Them lot are gagging for it.
363
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,075
I just wanted everyone
to have a good night.
364
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,515
Well, I'm having a good night.
365
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,919
Look, most of them are that desperate,
they'd pay to watch anything strip.
366
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,037
I'm sorry about that, everyone.
367
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,192
If you can just be patient with me,
I'll have some more entertainment
368
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,032
sorted in a minute.
369
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,917
MUSIC STARTS
370
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,759
(Carl) That's more like it!
371
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:34,030
THEY CHEER AND SHOUT
372
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,197
SPEECH DROWNED BY MUSIC
373
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,317
(Men) Off, off, off...
CHEERING
374
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,552
Moral support.
375
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,232
She's smart, that one.
376
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,717
CHEERING AND WHISTLING
377
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,830
- Go on, girl!
- Can't let the side down...
378
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,751
Whoa, neddy.
379
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,229
Dad, I'm not ten!
I'm not your little girl any more!
380
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,518
Surplus to requirements, Lillian.
381
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,114
Yeah!
382
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,715
What good am I for her these days?
383
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,552
She'll come round.
384
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,108
I was the same at her age -
like an uncontrollable tiger.
385
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,311
I'm no different now, if I'm honest.
386
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,954
ROOM FALLS SILENT
Hello, boys!
387
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,631
CROWS CAW
388
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,236
MAXINE LAUGHS, CARL MOUTHS
389
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,077
- Debbie?
- Oh, sorry, I've got a date.
390
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,754
- Who?!
- So have you.
391
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,558
Subtle(!)
392
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,593
My kind of bird.
393
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,193
Back to mine?
394
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,838
What for?
395
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,436
- Coffee?
- "Coffee"?!
396
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,836
MAXINE MOANS
397
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,959
MAXINE PANTS
(Carl) Ow!
398
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,237
- Sorry. Are you all right?
- Shh! Keep going.
399
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,712
(Maxine) Oh, oh!
400
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,231
She's built like a brick shithouse
401
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,278
and she's grabbing hold of them
like this, and she's got big hands,
402
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:41,636
like fella's hands, all big and veiny,
and she's shouting at me.
403
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,473
- I'd have told her to sling it.
- (Debbie) Did you get 'em back?
404
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,956
Hiya, babes! Toast?
405
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:56,148
NEWS ON RADIO
406
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,753
JAMIE YAWNS
407
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:04,959
Jamie!
408
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,599
Stop following me.
409
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,955
We're bound to bump into each other.
410
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,112
Sitting in your car watching me
isn't us bumping into each other.
411
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,034
- But this is!
- Just stay away.
412
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:22,749
You should be with me enjoying yourself,
not bringing her up.
413
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,876
I'm not bringing her up.
414
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,837
You're old before your time, Debs.
415
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,071
At least when you were with me
we had fun, didn't we?
416
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,720
Don't kid yourself, granddad!
417
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,871
THEY SHOUT
418
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,231
(Sgt Rogers) Hey, break it up... now!
419
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,594
Now!
420
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,994
What are you with fighting girls for, huh?
421
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,958
- He was helping me. They jumped me.
- She jumped us!
422
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,190
They've got my mp3 player.
423
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,317
- She nearly scratched me eyes out.
- What's going on, Meena?
424
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,551
That's right, take their side.
You're all the same.
425
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,438
It's not about sides.
You're committing a public order offence,
426
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,988
not to mention assault.
Now clear off, you two.
427
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,516
- See? That's it. Let the white girls go.
- That's enough.
428
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,990
- Schoolies, too. Just your type.
- Why are you so angry, eh?
429
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,516
I've seen what it's like for you. You
don't go short, you spoilt little bastard.
430
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:21,469
It's got nothing to do with colour!
We just expect this bollocks from you.
431
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,791
Come on. We'll sort it out
down the station, yeah?
432
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,878
"She was desperate
to get hold of it once more.
433
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,474
"It wasn't the longest she'd seen,
but the fact that she couldn't get
434
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,198
"her hand round it told a story."
435
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,872
SHE LAUGHS
436
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,276
"They couldn't wait a minute longer.
437
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:45,875
"She reached for his belt
as he tore off her shirt."
438
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,996
- I bet she isn't wearing a bra, is she?
- No.
439
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,433
Dirty bitch.
440
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:54,548
"She looked up at his chest,
all glistening with sweat,
441
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,359
"his hard abs and full pecs
442
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,874
"rolling up and down
with his deep, manly breathing."
443
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,633
You're making us wait, aren't you?
444
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,119
- Yeah.
- Criminal.
445
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,028
"As she ground him down,
faster and harder,
446
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:13,795
"he bit on her erect nipple as the blood
rushed excitedly into his dick..."
447
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,393
- Cock!
- Cock!
448
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,471
- Does he fuck her then?
- Yeah.
449
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,949
- How?
- Up the arse?
450
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,110
I meant "from behind".
451
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,192
I absolutely love it doggy.
452
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,955
I think I'd prefer it
if these two were face to face.
453
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,837
DOOR OPENS
454
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,038
Hi, darl'.
455
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,433
Grow up! It's just me tits.
I kept them drinking, didn't I?
456
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,750
- It's not just that.
- What is it?
457
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,592
Everything.
458
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,191
All this.
459
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,635
It's a constant battle.
460
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,473
- It doesn't last long, does it?
- What?
461
00:26:56,560 --> 00:27:00,075
- The honeymoon.
- (Norma) Karen...
462
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,115
What, Norma?
463
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,317
I Googled that Harris bloke.
He did 15 years for murder!
464
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,674
So?
465
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,159
He probably did away with both of them.
466
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,358
If I can find out where he is, he might
be able to tell us about Gloria's baby.
467
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,431
- Gloria's fucking baby?
- Calm down.
468
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,556
I just want closure, Karen.
469
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,234
Have you heard yourself?!
Who the fuck is Gloria?
470
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,912
I told you to dump the fucking baby,
471
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,309
so why haven't you
dumped the fucking baby?
472
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,597
I just... want closure.
473
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,557
KAREN SLAMS SOMETHING ON BAR
474
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:32,714
Look, er...
you two should have a night out.
475
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,234
Out of this place? Doubt it.
476
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,869
Well, I can cover for you.
One night wouldn't hurt.
477
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,111
JAMIE SNIFFS
Told you.
478
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:47,832
Look... I could stay over, if you like.
You could have a late one.
479
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,514
- Would ya?
- Course.
480
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,871
We should do something.
481
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,875
You can put one of them in the loos,
if you want.
482
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,033
You all right, Karen? Pay day.
483
00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:07,078
Hey, top night.
484
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,997
- Eyes up, pal.
- Jamie!
485
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,358
DOOR OPENS
486
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,432
Oh, here he comes, PC Patronising.
487
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,073
Listen, kids...
488
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,118
It's his fault
we're here in the first place.
489
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,394
That's not fair.
490
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,313
Where did you get the mp3 player?
Lost property box?
491
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:42,279
- You're all snides.
- Give it a rest for a minute, Chesney!
492
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,430
- I've had a word with the sarge.
- So?
493
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,432
- I'm taking you home.
- So you can grass to Mum?
494
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,398
- Why would I do that?
- Cos you're a copper.
495
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,710
And make things even tougher for myself?
496
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,032
This is brilliant.
497
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,509
Cheers, mate.
498
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,716
Good enough to submit, isn't it?
499
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,314
- Definitely.
- Where to?
500
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:14,109
Online. There's a few different sites,
depending on what you're good at.
501
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,599
What like?
502
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:20,229
Couples. Swingers. Animals.
503
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:21,673
Gay.
504
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,715
Want to stick around for a beer?
505
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:30,113
I am genuinely sorry
you think I've been ignoring you.
506
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,078
But don't think of me badly, please.
507
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:39,597
We need each other, cos things
are gonna be better from now on...
508
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,989
for both of us.
509
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,470
I mean, we can join forces, kid.
510
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,199
You know, you and me versus the world.
511
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,951
Hey, our special pact!
512
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,439
- (Carl) Debbie?
- Yeah?
513
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,159
- What do you think you're playing at?
- What?
514
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,549
- Arranging to go out with my bird.
- It's just a drink.
515
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,392
I were gonna take her out tonight.
516
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:06,359
- Oh, you're not jealous, are you?
- Am I fuck.
517
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,829
DEBBIE LAUGHS
518
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,992
Promise me you'll always be there for me.
519
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,473
FRANK BURPS
520
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,472
One thing it has done, Paddy,
is make me look at life
521
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:28,118
from an animal's perspective.
522
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,395
Fuck Badger Watch! That's just boring.
523
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,074
WATER SPLASHES
(Mimi) It's weird how it sucks you in.
524
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,152
They make you really feel
for the character, don't they?
525
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:40,677
Just a splash of colour and a squeaky
voice and that's it, you're there.
526
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,150
I could go on forever about this,
Patrick. For infinity.
527
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,518
You see, now I know
how it must have felt for Buzz Lightyear!
528
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,830
- Mimi, would you do me a favour...
- Yeah.
529
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,353
...and shut the fuck up?
530
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,237
He likes us.
531
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,673
- He's bright.
- He's cute.
532
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,398
TOILET FLUSHES
533
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,277
Your very own prodigy.
534
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,749
Imagine...
535
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,717
Reckon he's game?
536
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,199
Know he is.
537
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,878
Micky, mate.
538
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,309
Ever heard of a fuck buddy?
539
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,954
MUSIC FROM TV
Is anyone home?
540
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,830
(Stan) Yeah, got it, got it!
541
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,677
What's going on in there, then?
542
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,432
It's just a stew.
543
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,112
STAN LAUGHS
544
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,953
- (Meena) Come on, Chesney.
- Good day at school, Ches?
545
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,474
Yeah, great.
546
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:51,675
Brilliant.
547
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,593
BELL RINGS IN GAME
Oh!
548
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,558
- Didn't think you had it in you.
- Piece of piss.
549
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,472
MUSIC: 9PM (Till I Come) by ATB
550
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,274
Right. One, two, three, go!
551
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,273
Prowling grease monkeys at 3 o'clock.
552
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,035
Eugh! He's old enough to be my dad.
553
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,472
He just took his wedding ring off!
554
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,516
Oh, the slimeball.
555
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,273
- No harm in getting a drink out of it.
- Aw!
556
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,392
KELLY LAUGHS
557
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,112
SHE MOUTHS
558
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,311
KAREN SNORTS
559
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,277
Read him the riot act, didn't I?
560
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:01,194
He'll forgive a flash of tit
if it means that we're back on track.
561
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,271
And are you?
562
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,272
- What?
- Back on track.
563
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,237
Sort of.
564
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,076
Do you always do that?
565
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,993
- What?
- Pout.
566
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,038
No.
THEY LAUGH
567
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,076
Do you know what?
568
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,799
What?
569
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,435
I think... you're dead fit.
570
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:38,953
Fuck off!
571
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,918
WOMEN ARGUE
572
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:53,594
- She's been following me round.
- That's not good.
573
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:57,593
Nightmare. She's round every corner.
574
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,670
I think I was clingy
with my first big split.
575
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,672
Something a bit pathetic
about all that, though...
576
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,637
Don't you think?
577
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,949
I thought you were really good today.
578
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:33,790
MAXINE MOUTHS
579
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,349
Leg it!
580
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,194
Drive! Quick! Go, go, go!
581
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,316
She's got me fucking wallet!
582
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:04,716
- Slags!
- Oh, fuck it!
583
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,632
DEBBIE AND MAXINE LAUGH
584
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,553
Freak!
585
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,709
All right! It should've been a woman.
586
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,155
Ha! Can someone tape this?
587
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,993
- Here you are. Say it again.
- It doesn't matter now.
588
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,516
- It's history.
- Yeah. It were a top night in the end.
589
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,319
- Does that mean I get an apology?
- This I will have to film!
590
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,791
I am the first to apologise
when I've done something wrong.
591
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,110
JAMIE LAUGHS
Did you get that?
592
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,670
- Leave it, Shane.
- "Leave it, Jamie," don't you mean?
593
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,158
Mandy?
594
00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:00,832
Listen, I'm gonna take her home.
595
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,911
(All) Ooooh!
596
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,194
No! Just take her home.
597
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,953
THEY LAUGH
598
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,433
I'm off to bed.
599
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,238
What, so early?
600
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:20,393
- I'm knackered. You coming?
- In a bit.
601
00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:32,154
KELLY CACKLES
602
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,437
- Tequila?
- Yeah!
603
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,956
KELLY LAUGHS DRUNKENLY
604
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,792
Shh!
605
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:47,359
Shh! In here!
606
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,595
CLATTERING
(Norma) What the?!
607
00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,035
Norma?
608
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:04,109
Poor little mite will be in limbo
forever if I don't do something.
609
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:05,633
What?
610
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:08,518
Dead. All alone.
611
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,956
My God! Stop being so fucking morbid!
What's the matter?
612
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:14,834
A little baby.
613
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,638
Someone's baby.
614
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:19,518
- It's not a baby. It's a fucking cat!
- No!
615
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:24,196
Straight up, Norma.
Look, the ribcage is flat on both sides.
616
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,431
The limbs are the wrong proportion.
It's a fuckin' moggy is that.
617
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,954
KELLY LAUGHS
He's amazing, isn't he?
618
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,315
- (Kelly) Shane!
- Shh!
619
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,709
THEY SNIGGER
620
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,398
- Sorry, I can't.
- Yeah, you can.
621
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,029
- I'm married.
- Yeah. To a moron.
622
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:10,510
- What?
- Sorry, but...
623
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,477
Get the fuck out of me pub!
624
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,358
- What?
- Now!
625
00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:20,470
SHE LAUGHS SOFTLY
626
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,956
I don't think I'll be coming
to class any more.
627
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,873
- Oh, no. Why not?
- It's not really my thing.
628
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,957
I think you found your "thing"
tonight, though, don't you?
629
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,758
Well, we're all good at something.
630
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,469
It just takes some of us
a little longer to suss out what it is.
631
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,357
Exactly.
632
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,671
You could give my place
to someone what really needs it.
633
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,069
Yeah, I could, really.
634
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:56,708
- Beer?
- Yeah, go on, then.
635
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:02,152
One for the road.
You twisted me arm.
636
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,758
Sorry for being a cow.
637
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,873
I'm sorry, too.
638
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:18,792
Nothing happened.
639
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,790
- Good job.
- I'm a gent, you know.
640
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,633
Be a right shame if we had
and I couldn't even remember.
641
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,232
Brew?
642
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,558
- What?
- Good night?
643
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:11,471
Yeah.
644
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,197
What are you playing at, Carl?
645
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,992
Did you cop?
646
00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:26,314
Listen, Carl, we're mates, aren't we?
647
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,550
"Mates"? With a bird? What about?
648
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,110
So we shagged? You were great.
649
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,998
But you're not me fella,
so don't go all moody-bollocks
650
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,356
just cos I got off me tits and had a laugh
without you, because you can't.
651
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,673
We might as well be mates, though,
if we like each other, don't you think?
652
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:45,954
Suppose so.
653
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,271
There might be the odd night...
654
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:54,751
if you're lonely... and I'm lonely.
655
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,671
You made me squeal.
656
00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:59,792
I'd be a fool not to.
657
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:03,759
When you put it like that...
658
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,671
Right.
659
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,592
Any chance of a shag, then?
660
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,959
KAREN SQUEALS, LAUGHS
661
00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:40,153
(Micky) Maybe, after all,
I am into all that bullshit.
662
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:44,358
Just another way of looking at things.
Things happen for a reason.
663
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,398
The best things come to those who wait.
664
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,836
Sounds so fake, though...doesn't it?
665
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,115
"'Check out the girth on that... '
SLAPPING
666
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:57,398
"...she said as he put
the big black stallion back in its stable.
667
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:01,075
"She tossed back her glorious mane
of hair and opened the top two buttons.
668
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,958
"'I'm hot, baby,' she said,
669
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,749
"as he caught a glimpse
of the top of her huge tits..."
670
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:12,834
(Micky) I'll tell you what my philosophy
is. You're born. Then you die.
671
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,718
In between, you might as well
do whatever it takes
672
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,711
to get as much of a buzz as you can.
673
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,755
Dead simple.
674
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,637
...So if you look at all three...
675
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,112
Whoo!
676
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,475
MIMI SNORTS
677
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,630
Fuck!
678
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,311
That's fucking brilliant.
HE EXHALES LOUDLY
679
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,277
Get on, Micky. Your turn.
680
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,874
HE SNORTS LIKE A HORSE
681
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,717
SLAPPING
Yeah!
682
00:45:28,767 --> 00:45:33,317
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